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The Hidden Flaws In Dating Apps - Rory Sutherland

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Rory Sutherland begins by contrasting top-down theoretical approaches with bottom-up observation, arguing that applying standard market rules to complex systems like property or dating is fundamentally flawed. He illustrates this distinction using the efficient market hypothesis and his experiences in advertising versus economics. To highlight how markets function differently depending on their nature, he uses a personal anecdote about driving an American car in Austin, Texas, noting the differences between US and UK licensing and humorously speculating that residents might place fake speed limit signs to trick autonomous electric vehicles into slowing down. He connects this unpredictability to his prediction five years ago regarding hackers immobilizing self-driving taxis with cones or weighted balloons on roads, emphasizing how real-world systems often defy rigid theoretical models. The core of Sutherland's argument focuses on the structural similarities between three specific markets: graduate recruitment, property sales, and online dating. In all these arenas, participants face a significant information asymmetry where they must rely on poor proxies to make initial decisions because they lack sufficient data about potential partners or employees. For job seekers, this proxy is often university ranking (such as Russell Group status), while in the dating world, it reduces individuals to static photographs and brief text descriptions. Sutherland argues that these filters act like a "peacock's tail," signaling commitment rather than actual ability or human capital, effectively discarding talented individuals who may not fit the initial criteria but possess valuable traits like humor, wit, or deportment that cannot be captured in an image or resume. Sutherland critiques the efficiency of this uniform filtering process by comparing it to a more chaotic pre-internet era where "noise" in the system allowed for diverse and effective matching mechanisms. In traditional British dating, people might meet through social circles like rugby clubs, while house hunting often involved stumbling upon properties unexpectedly rather than starting with a rigid budget constraint. He suggests that if every HR director or estate agent applied identical prejudices—such as only hiring Oxbridge graduates or buying homes in specific price brackets—the market would suffer from a ludicrous undersupply of suitable candidates and assets. Conversely, he proposes that multiple differing biases across the industry could create greater diversity of opportunity than current equality-based sorting methods, allowing for more efficient market clearing where individuals find partners who are disproportionately attractive to them rather than universally appealing models or properties. To resolve these inefficiencies without compromising fairness in a regulated environment like recruitment, Sutherland suggests looking at property listings as an example of how choice architecture could be improved by forcing agencies to list downsides alongside upsides. He advocates for a strategic approach where buyers seek out what others hate but do not mind themselves, rather than searching for a "perfect" house or partner that appeals to everyone. This game-theoretic perspective acknowledges that while men might appear shallow in their initial filters, personality features are crucial long-term factors often missed by static images. Ultimately, the speaker concludes that rigid consistency in selection criteria across an entire industry leads to waste and inefficiency, whereas a messier system with varied starting points allows for better outcomes where people find partners who truly suit them despite not meeting standardized metrics.
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what have you learned about the choice architecture of online dating sites and how it relates to property websites well this is this is kind of interesting because one of the reasons one of the reasons I like working in advertising and marketing is I think the correct way to solve problems and to understand what's going on is really bottom up not top down by which I mean um actually open-minded inquiry and observ ation of all kinds of things okay tends then over time patterns start to emerge and I think the better way what we try and do in politics in particular is we start with a theory we then impose the theory on reality we trumpet the areas or the scale at which that theory succeeds and we sweep under the carpet those areas where the theory basically fails okay so if you take something like okay uh if you take something like the efficient market hypothesis it probably has an application in a few fields and those are well celebrated and measured by economists it's a complete nonsense to apply um the same rules of a market to say the property Market or the dating markets as you do to the market for a commodity like iron or or something of that kind okay they're fundamentally different in particular if you look at the property Market there's a problem because when people go and buy most things you know uh if you went out to buy a car I've got to ask about your car I'm a big Macky Enthusiast have you gone electric or in Texas does that get you vilified it will it would get me killed not in Austin though uh yeah Austin suff Austin okay it's sufficiently Progressive I think I'll get Camaro a Camaro for my first car in America uh FYI there's no license equivalency between the US and the UK which means that I need to retake my theory test 18 years after I took it in American which is weirdly difficult it's going to be it's all the road signs are different what does this particular thing mean all of my knowledge about roundabouts is totally [ __ ] useless obviously my car which is obviously American has an interesting American feature which is you can set the cruise control to effectively go at the speed limit plus or minus X miles an hour so it's using this satnav us a mixture I think of satnav and actually Optical Character reading the road which does raise the question that people in residential areas are going to put up fake 7 m hour signs along their streets so that electric cars all automatically slow to a crawl how hilarious but um so I imagine you know you noticed that wonderful thing where people as I predicted were hacking autonomous taxis in San Francisco put con you put a cone on the on the hood as they'd call it and the thing was basically immobilized in a state of complete confusion and I predicted that I'm proud to say five years ago I said people will hack self-driving cars and they'll discover that all you got to do is put a pattern of weighted balloons on the road and the things will go absolutely Del and sure enough someone discovered that okay dating sites so dating sites okay so let's look at something here which is so to go back to my original point the market for property is highly problematic because what most people do when they buy uh they look for property to buy is they work out how much Deposit they have they then work out how much they can borrow they add those two together and they start looking for houses around that price okay so the basic heuristic question they're asking is how much can I afford and then they start looking now if you notice we don't buy anything else like that we don't buy cars that way okay if you went and said okay how much money can I raise as a deposit how much can I borrow people be driving around in Bugattis and you know Bugatti Veyrons and Bentleys all over the place we don't do that with cars we kind of take a balance on how much property how much car do I actually need how much do I care about cars Etc but because we have this urtic that effectively property is the only taxfree big bet you can make in your life okay with huge tax advantages in terms of the capital gains everybody maxes out now unsurprisingly people who sell property have noticed this fact and consequently property prices go up and up and up because everybody's effectively so as interest rates go down it doesn't make anybody richer it just means that they set their Target price for the property they're prepared to buy even higher than before sellers of aren't complete idiots so they basically put their price up to get whatever they can get and so consequently you end up with an absurd spiral okay so the property Market is fundamentally unlike say the market for as I said whether it's iron ore or indeed whether it's you know a high quality energy drink yeah is doing some implausible product placement it is now it struck me also that there's a fundamental problem in three things which actually is the same in all three cases and it's the market for graduate recruits the market for first in other words employees for first jobs the market for property and the market for dating okay which is that two problems when you recruit someone straight out of University or you recruit anybody for a job in which they have no experience at all okay you don't know anything about them realistically but you need a proxy so the proxy seems to have become you know Russell group University 21 or above and everybody uses that as the first stage filter for their search and everything that doesn't meet those criteria or everybody who doesn't meet that those criteria effectively disappears out of the marketplace despite the fact that they may be possessed of unbelievable talents they just either had a good time at University or a part of that very large part of the population who are very very clever but don't feel motivated doing academic hypothetical things okay you know if you think about it I know people people who are good at chess are probably quite bright in some respect but you can't say someone who's bad at chess is thick right you know my brother's an astrophysicist he's [ __ ] at chess right okay um uh you know I mean they they do actually record games that sort of Einstein and Oppenheimer played in The Manhattan Project and they're kind of okay chess players but they're nothing amazing so you know there are quite a lot of things that are oneway proxy necessary but not sufficient in other words exactly necessary but not or sufficient you know but but actually not necessary so actually you know now what's happened here as a consequence is that we're automatically just discarding now let's take dating as a parallel there what's your first filter okay the HR person's first filter is two one and above you know and then they interview them but but the first filter is that two one and above they've got to have a degree in fact increasingly I noticed my daughter's generation are doing master's degrees because even if you got a first class degree from a Russell un russle group University it's that positional good thing where you create hyper competition and it's really a kind of peacock's taale signaling effect okay so what you're really proving is not ability or human capital it's just commitment to the area in which you're invested okay now in dating sites it strikes me that what you have I I got married long before they were on websites and as a contemporary of mine said who also got married before there was online dating he said I feel like I caught the last helicopter out of Saigon you know genuinely I wouldn't know where to get started in online dating but what's the first Criterion you use accept or reject now I'm assuming here you're a guy I don't quite know it works slightly differently I think for women because obviously the demand is completely asymmetric okay but it's a still picture of them and some words of text all right now how could just as two one or above is not actually a brilliant proxy for how valuable an employee this person will be it's all you've got okay I don't think a still photograph and a few words of text uh in any way a proxy for who you might Forge a long-term relationship with okay because what you're doing is you're making a series of decisions you're going you're working your way down the decision tree to use the language of choice architecture and because every decision you make you're happy with you think therefore that a series of seemingly rational decisions will reach an optimal outcome but actually I me for example there are people who are extremely attractive actresses who wouldn't make it as a model because their attractiveness is to do with motion humor wit pres you know all those things which matter more in a relationship than how you look in a static photograph you know I'm showing my age here but Cameron Diaz probably wouldn't have made it as a Vogue model okay but know Jennifer Aniston I don't know okay but what I mean what I'm saying is what makes them attractive is a whole mix of things like humor deportment movement you know subtle things which cannot be captured at all in that initial filtration phase same goes for employment what makes a good employee cannot really be very well captured by that initial filtration phase same goes with property okay which is what do people do when they look for property they go okay uh first of all how much can I afford and they start looking at that point point then they ask the second question which is where is it and how many bedrooms now all I'm saying okay is that it seems rational while we're going through that process it seems perfectly sensible because each stage we're filtering what we don't see the dog that doesn't bark in the night is what we're rejecting that might be great okay now here's where the problem really gets acute okay everybody's going through this decision tree starting at the same place and working through in the same order that's what online Choice architecture does now if you look at how people chose houses or for that matter girlfriends or boyfriends back in the pre- internet age there was a lot of noise in the system you know I mean the conventional British way and the you know the New York way is you go out with people and first of all find out how much they earn as far as I can see okay I mean dating in New York always strikes me as like a weird Jane Austin kind of transactional field okay but in Britain basically you went to a rugby club and got pissed with your friend's sister okay and then you discovered you really liked each other now that's messy I'm not suggesting it's optimal there's a lot of choice you're missing out but everybody effectively found a house found a partner in a different way the choice architecture was different the starting point was different the initial filter in many cases people found a house because they walked past an estate agent window they drove down a lane and saw a for sale side mhm and in many cases they didn't start searching with 800,000 and down right and it was messy so people had houses had lots of opportunities to appeal to people and partners had lots of different strengths which they could deploy depending on the circumstances in which the meeting took place because I mean guys aren't that shallow men are a bit shallow but there are hell of a lot of Personality features okay now if everybody chooses according to the same criteria it's a much less efficient market clearing mechanism than if everybody's a bit messy so let's assume that you had you know I I mentioned this earlier because I was talking to a kind of recruitment firm I said let's imagine where you had a world where weirdly everybody's HR uh director was like oddly prejudiced okay but they're all prejudiced in completely different ways you know one person was obsessed with hiring Oxbridge graduates another person was obsessed with hiring Jamaicans uh a third person was obsessed with hiring scousers okay over time multiple differing prejudices or what you might call diversity of opportunity rather than equality of opportunity would provide a more efficient market for talent than the one we have now which is regimented and identical and it seems to me there's a conflict here which is in recruitment the needs to look fair means you have to apply the same criteria to everybody which means as that kind of consistency of selection spreads out across the whole of Industry okay it actually means that there's a ludicrous undersupply of certain people who meet those initial criteria while the 50% 80% of people who don't meet those initial sortation criteria effectively go to waste yeah it's like there must hell girls who are single because they just don't look that great in the Still's photo right now there's a further thing which is now i' got to be really careful because my wife's going to watch this okay but actually you don't want a wife or a house which appeals to everybody right if you you know if you marry a supermodel right basically they're going to run off with your tennis coach and take your house right what what you want is someone who's disproportionately attractive to you yeah all right that's the sort of game theoretic approach of house hunting so my my approach to house hunting I'll stay out of dating because my wife might be watching this okay it's to some extent a form of and I've often said that estate agencies would be a lot better if they actually were forced to list the downsides of a property as well as the upsides because the shrewd way to choose a house is not to say what's my perfect house it's to say what do other people hate that I don't mind in other news this episode is brought to you by element element is a tasty electrolyte drink mix with everything that you need and nothing that you don't it's a healthy alternative to sugary electrolyte drinks and it is the best way that I have started my morning every single day for over three years now it contains a 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