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Sometimes You Just Need to Get Better - Alex Hormozi

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Alex Hormozi argues that feeling bad or experiencing hardship serves as a critical signal indicating that something needs to change, framing this sensation through the lens of judgment and decision-making regarding whether to push harder or pivot strategies. He illustrates this distinction with an analogy from weightlifting: one must determine if they are quitting because they lack discipline or because they face imminent injury; similarly, entrepreneurs must decide between pushing up a hill when facing execution challenges versus pivoting when fundamental assumptions about product-market fit prove false. Hormozi emphasizes that while losing teaches valuable lessons, the specific lesson learned depends entirely on how accurately one interprets reality, noting that it is significantly easier to learn new habits than to unlearn bad ones formed through early reinforcement patterns. Central to his philosophy is the concept of defining terms based strictly on observable inputs and outputs rather than vague labels or internal assumptions. Hormozi critiques common societal misunderstandings where people attribute behaviors like stealing simply to a character flaw such as dishonesty, which he views as circular reasoning that fails to explain reality effectively. Instead, he advocates for breaking down complex concepts into their constituent behavioral parts; just as one learns basketball by mastering specific mechanics of passing and shooting rather than the abstract goal of "getting better," individuals must define success through concrete actions like hugging or listening rather than ambiguous terms like love. This approach prevents people from being constantly surprised by reality, which he describes as undefeated and indifferent to personal expectations regarding traffic jams or other unanticipated events. The podcast highlights how inaccurate frameworks of reality lead to unnecessary conflict and resentment, particularly when individuals operate on different definitions for the same concepts without realizing it. Hormozi shares an anecdote about two employees arguing over politeness where one party expected kindness while the other focused on bill-paying duties; by asking clarifying questions rather than making unspoken demands, they resolved their misunderstanding instantly. He connects this to a broader principle that complaints often stem from expecting reality to deliver outcomes based on incorrect anticipations, urging listeners to recognize when their models of how the world works are flawed and adjust accordingly. Ultimately, Hormozi concludes that understanding "why" things happen through behavioral science provides a more accurate worldview than relying on intuition or emotional reactions alone. He suggests that by unbundling terms into specific behaviors and reinforcing correct actions while ignoring incorrect ones, individuals can align their expectations with reality much more effectively. This mindset shift not only helps in business decisions regarding when to persist versus when to change course but also applies universally to personal growth, ensuring that people build sustainable habits rather than struggling against the natural laws of reinforcement and recovery as they age.
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Because you feel bad, it means that the path that you're on, like you need to change something. And so, it's equal opposite, which is like, okay, if we know that we're on the path getting kicked in the nuts right now, and I know I'm on my 17th or 100th podcast, and I'm still not like a millionaire yet. I I have not achieved what I want yet. It does not mean that I have to change course. >> But earlier on, you said that bad feelings, feeling bad, are important to update the way that you're approaching this situation. So, how do you distinguish between the two? >> No, and that's and that's and I'd say what you what you hit on is is the is the crux of it, which is judgment. Which is like, and this is one of the hardest ones is like, how do you help someone recognize patterns of when you need to Basically, it's the eternal question of when do I push and when do I pivot, right? When do I push through the hardship versus when do I adjust? >> Am I giving up on this set in the gym because I'm being a [ __ ] or am I giving up because I'm about to injure myself? >> Yeah. And so, >> Push up, pivot. I like that. >> Yeah. And I've and I've worked with this a lot because it's a pretty classic entrepreneurship issue of like, do I product market fit, or like, do I need to just keep pushing? You like, you know, where am I just trying to push up a hill? Um is that if one of the fundamental assumptions that you began your quest with has been proven untrue based on the feedback, then that is where pivoting makes sense. So, if you said like, I think that I'm going to create um a doggie skateboard because I think that um a lot of dog owners will want to buy skateboards for their dog. Um We'd be like, and I believe that the percentage like and I would make a you know, a billion dollars doing this. Um that would mean that there's this size of the market, this percentage needs to be the take rate in order for me to get that that market share. It's like, okay. If if I talked to 100 dog owners and none of them want to buy my my doggie skateboard, I would not say that is a push situation. I would say that is a pivot situation because our fundamental assumption that we started this quest with is false. And so, we need to take that feedback and then pivot. If as we're going through, they're saying I maybe but like I don't know what you have in your hands. What the hell is that? So it's like the assumption is not proven but it's more of an execution issue. And so it's like okay, I just need to get better. I need to push through. But it's like it is definitely one of the harder lines to to know like where when should I push when should I pivot? What lesson do I learn from losing? Because losing losing teaches you [ __ ] And we just need to make sure that we learn the right thing. Like teaching will occur. >> Yes. >> [laughter] >> Whether you take it away or not is >> Yeah. >> It's the it's the I I hired my first employee and he was a a [ __ ] ass. Therefore, all employees suck. Right. So like losing will teach you something. It's just want to make sure that we learn the right lesson. >> I feel like this is a justification for making early decisions as right as possible. >> Oh, 100%. >> To try and avoid that PTSD of it's far easier to learn something than it is to unlearn something. Probably 100 times easier to learn something than it is to unlearn something. If you've drilled a particular habit particular bad habit, if you have come up with a mode of interacting with your employees or the world because all of your employees the first three employees you get all of them [ __ ] you over. >> Mhm. >> And then finally you get to the fourth, you have to unlearn all of the compensatory mechanisms that you built on the first three. Now that you've got someone who's worthy of that and you're restricting that progress, you're slowing everything down, you're being hyper vigilant it doesn't feel like a good place to work. Try and make your early decisions right. >> Yeah. Changing a behavior with a long history of reinforcement is harder than changing one with >> No history. You're such a hardcore behaviorist. >> Yeah. Well, I mean it's the only thing that's made sense to me in the world. Like it's I mean it's the >> It's an uphill. >> I mean it's just I don't even It's just my reality. So I'll say differently like many people do not get what they want. They look up at their lives and they're like this is not what I want." And so, if you don't have what you want, it means that the model that you view the world through is incorrect or you have the correct model and the incorrect variables or insufficient variables. It's basically all it is. And so, for me, the more I have looked purely at inputs and outputs, the more I've gotten my predictions correct. And so, I have been super reinforced for using this style of of of thinking and so, I do it more. And so, it's just And like I I I I read some of my old stuff and I'm like, "Oh, man, like I could have said this in half as much words if I Now, I cuz it's understanding why. Like at the most basic level, it's just understanding why. Um I'll give an example. And I think this is why the vast majority of the world like walks around confused, which is I don't have what I want. That didn't go the way I expected. She took that worse than I thought. So, you're you're constantly surprised by reality. And so, in in a simple sentence like, "Johnny stole because he's dishonest," right? Most people nod their heads and be like, "Yeah, Johnny stole because he's dishonest." But we say, "What What does dishonest mean?" Dishonest means it's a label, right? That we ascribe to somebody who does a series of different behaviors, one of which is stealing. And so, if we were to restate that sentence with the broken-down definition, it would then be, "Johnny stole because he's the type of person who steals," which is circular and makes no sense. Because the real reason that Johnny stole is because he's been reinforced for stealing in the past or he saw someone who got reinforced for stealing and then modeled their behavior. That is why Johnny stole. And so, because of that basic misunderstanding, most people have these words that they use to explain the reality that they don't actually understand, and as a result, reality fools them more often than it should. He was rewarded for it. Or he was punished for doing the opposite of Exactly. And so, um that basic that like And that what I just explained is the is the difference between description and explanation, um which is relatively heady and I think difficult sometimes to grasp, but is at the most basic level like my worldview. >> This is what happened. This is why it happened. >> Why? Yeah. And so, from that one kind of basic understanding, everything else can kind of pretty much get laddered up. And so, um said differently, if if I wanted to tell a child get good at basketball, right? Um I would not tell him get better at basketball. Because a 5-year-old would be like, I don't know how to do that. What does that mean? So, I'd be like, okay, well, let's break it down. We've got dribbling, passing, shooting. Okay. Do that. A little bit closer, but they still probably don't know how to. If I say, go get better at dribbling, passing, and shooting. Still can't do anything with that. Until eventually be like, okay, passing. So, I want you to take a step with your left foot towards the the person, and I want you to extend your elbows, and finish with your thumbs down. Um and if the ball goes towards them in the direction that they're running, and they catch it, you've passed successfully. And then I would repeat that chain of events until eventually they would understand that that chain of behaviors equals passing. And if they do it a lot, and they hit the target many times, they would be good at passing. And we'd repeat that all the way down until they're good at passing, dribbling, shooting, etc. And then eventually we'd describe them as a good basketball player. But that basic unbundling and rebundling of terms is why I think the vast majority of people are wildly um confused by what's going on around them. Is that someone says, why don't you love me? And he's like, what are you talking about? He's like, I pay the bills, I take out the trash. Like, you know, like what do you want from me? And she says, uh like you don't tell me I'm pretty, you don't hug me, uh like you don't listen to me when I when I you don't ever ever ask me how my day's going. And it's because for her she defines love in these behaviors, and he defines love in these behaviors, and so then they fight forever, rather than just saying like, what does that mean? What does that mean? Um we had uh we had two employees that were arguing about something uh at acquisition and one was like, "Hey, can you um I would be fine if you were just like kind and polite to me." And um I was like, "Okay. What does that mean?" And uh there was obviously a moment of like hesitation there cuz it's like, "Okay, so you want the other person to guess what you think in your mind means good behavior, but you've never articulated it and so you want them to guess and somehow get it right." >> Mhm. >> And so finally it just was like, "Can you ask more questions rather than making more statements?" And the person was like, "Yeah, sure." It's like, "Great." But that basic thing now and they're fine now and everything's great. And so but like this is why I I view the world and behavior because I have wanted things, but I didn't know how to get them, which is happens in reality. And so as long as I live in reality, I prefer to define things through reality and then reality tends to behave far more as I predicted it would. >> On the I want you to do this, but I didn't tell you it's that Neil Strauss line, unspoken expectations are premeditated resentment. >> [laughter] >> Why didn't you do this thing that I didn't tell you to do? >> Yeah, probably not deliberately cuz I think a lot of people do it not on purpose. >> Of course, but it's a uh unconscious premeditated resentment. The the investment that you are making will be a resentment in future that you aren't aware is about to come about. >> Yeah. Another thing on the uh people's map of reality is inaccurate. I think one of the most obvious realizations that you can have when you hear somebody who complains a lot is that their framework of reality is incorrect. >> Oh, by a mile. >> A complaint is you saying, "Why is reality not delivering that to me which I anticipated?" >> Yeah. >> And reality doesn't care. Reality is just going to continue to deliver to you that which it is giving. Why is there all of this traffic on the way to work? There shouldn't be all of this traffic. I didn't anticipate all of this traffic. >> Yeah. >> I assumed there wouldn't be traffic. Reality disagreed with me. Reality is not wrong. >> It's undefeated. >> Reality is undefeated, yeah. It's a million and oh. >> [laughter] >> A million TKOs. Before we continue, most people in their 30s are still training hard. Their protein is dialed in. They sleep better than they did in their 20s. Discipline is not the issue, but recovery feels somewhat different. Strength gains take a little longer. 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