How to Master Mental Toughness | James Lawrence on Impact Theory

The moment you realize the next step isn't going to kill you, and that next step is the first step to evolving, changing, growing, and learning, and becoming literally the best version of yourself, that's the most beautiful thing. It's not going to kill you. And putting yourself in the game, you're giving yourself an opportunity to achieve something that everybody else said was impossible. Everybody, welcome to Impact Theory. You're here, my friends, because you believe that human potential is nearly limitless, but you know that having potential is not the same as actually doing something with it. So, our goal with this show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams. All right, today's guest is one of the most prolific ultra-endurance athletes in the world. He's a Guinness World Record holder two times over. First, in 2010, he broke the record for half Iron Mans by running 22 in a 30-week period. Then, not satisfied with that, in 2012, he set the record for most iron distance triathlons in a single year by doing 30. Then, because he didn't feel he'd been adequately tested yet, he set out to find the very limits of mankind's capabilities by completing 50 iron distance triathlons in 50 states in 50 consecutive days. He was told he was crazy, people doubted it could be done, but in his heart he believed he could find a way through. During the ordeal, he rarely got more than 4 hours sleep a night and all in a moving vehicle, had five small kids in tow, was so tired he'd fall asleep while eating, while talking, and most terrifyingly, while riding during the biking portions of the race. He suffered from catastrophic cramping, swollen feet, mangled toes, inclement weather, including extreme rain, extreme heat, and at one point getting hypothermic during his swim. But, despite all of that, he still managed to finish. It is an accomplishment so incredible that ultra endurance athlete and best-selling author Rich Roll called it one of the greatest achievements in the history of human endurance. Four-time Ironman world champion Chris McCormack has said of him that he has proven that if you want it badly enough, you can achieve anything. So, please help me in welcoming the man known as the Iron Cowboy, the incredible public speaker and coach, and the author of The Iron Cowboy, Redefine Impossible, James Lawrence. That's all right, man. Thank you for coming on the show. Absolutely. What you've done is pure insanity, and it would be crazy no matter who did it, but that just a few, what, years before you really got serious, you were huffing and puffing your way through a 4-mile fun run. Isn't that fun? That is so weird. Like, I really do want to dismiss you as just being like gifted in some way. This is my biggest pet peeve. Understandably so. Because like when somebody does something perceived as great, it's almost written off because they're assumed to be gifted. For sure. Like Shaquille O'Neal, dude's got some genetic freakness about him. When somebody says, "You only accomplished this because X Y Z," I don't like that. That That's pretty understandable. What is it that you tap into, that you focused on? Is it just insane training? Is it mental toughness? Like, what have you done to be able to do this? Yeah, um I always like to say that the secret to success is doing a lot of little things consistently over a long period of time. Like, people see the headline the 50, Yeah. but they don't realize there was a decade that went into that. Of training and building up to it? Everything. You know you can only get so physically fit for a challenge and then at that point in time your mind and your body have to come into alignment and then the mind takes over. And uh you know one of the biggest questions I get is how do I come or become mentally tough? And uh you know, a lot of people say, "Oh, you're either born with it or is it something that you can develop?" And I'm in the the camp of it's it's a development process. It's anybody can do it. And uh I mean, it started for me in 7th grade. Um I grew up as a wrestler in Canada. And uh I lost my very first match. In fact, I lost almost every match after that the the entire season. Um Why'd you keep going? Yeah, I just you know, I'm I'm the type of person that I don't I don't love to be defined by those moments. It's like the five the 5K that I have in for the four-mile fun run. I don't like the word fun and run together. But Me, either. Yeah. Yeah, how many people do you see running around smiling? Yeah. Um but but for me um I I don't I don't enjoy those moments to define me and and I want to I want to overcome that. And uh and so I I would wake up and study the sport and and show up and and you know, that you always hear show up early and stay late. Um and and I really did that and by the time I hit my senior year, went undefeated. Wow. Um and it's not because I had any talent. Um it's because I was willing to show up. That that's really incredible. That notion of consistency like your message is intoxicating to me cuz I really want to believe that if you really want to do something that it it can be broken down systematically. So, walk us through that the like what you were doing to your mind, what were you were doing to your body post fun run. So, you do the fun run, people are passing you with strollers, you're a little bit embarrassed, you don't like that. Uh clearly don't want to be defined by it. The the worst part was when your wife sits you down on Thanksgiving and and and clearly says the words you're pathetic. So, wow. Yeah, lovingly she said it though, right? But says those words um and and like like only a a wife can, but then she says, "You know what? Um I'm going to sign us both up for the Salt Lake City Marathon and we're going to go on a journey together. And it's in 5 months." And uh and so I just no idea what I was doing, uh dove in and just tried to figure this out and ended up running the the marathon and nowhere to lie, I hated every single step. Just because I was way out of my element, I'd taken on too much too early. And when I finished that race, um I had I had some some tickets. I'm a big mixed martial arts fan. And there was a local event there and I went to the fight with the with to the fights with my buddy and I was so exhausted, I sat down to enjoy the evening. And uh the fights all ended and I went to get to stand up to leave and I couldn't. Woah. Both my legs and knees had swollen up so bad. So, in the machismo-est of environments, I've got to get a wheelchair brought in and they cart me out of the stadium cuz I couldn't walk. And uh again, it was one of those moments that I wasn't going to allow that to define me. I was like, "That That's That's where my endurance journey ends or is that where it starts, right?" And so, me for me, that's where it starts. Everybody always says I have bad knees. And uh I say you have bad knees because you don't run. And uh because that guy right there in that stadium that couldn't get up and walk after his marathon shouldn't have had gone on and did what I did. Uh which means also that I'm not talented or gifted. It was a It was a process that I went through and figured it out. Mhm. Uh I was I was obsessed with with with not with that not being my defining moment, right? That's really interesting. So, I'm imagining it. You're sitting there, MMA fight, super macho, wheelchair's coming. At that point, are you planning about like, "Okay, I'm now I'm going to kick this thing's ass?" Or No, in in that moment, I was never running again. Walk me through that process. So, I get asked all the time, like people ask you how to develop mental toughness. People ask me, "How do you find that passion?" And one thing I'm obsessed with is obsession. And I think that when you And I believe it's cultivated, right? So, if you can cultivate, create an obsession in your life, then there's a certain momentum that carries forward. So, how did you go from, "I'm never running again" to really becoming obsessed with getting good at these three sports, one of which, by the way, is running. Yeah. What was that Was that a process for you? Or did you feel like, "No, it was like a bug that bit me and it just sort of took over." Uh I think it was a little bit of both because um I really gravitated towards the cycling. Um and the swimming was a challenge for me. And the running in in a sprint triathlon is only 5K. And it's it's more speed and explosiveness, which was fun cuz I was, you know, from wrestling, it's it's endurance, but it's strength and speed. And so, that was kind of my background and to to have the early success that I did in sprint triathlon, it was a lot of fun. Do you think about winning? Or is this all like a you versus you kind of thing? Um it's it's both. Um cuz I I've won some races. Um and that's always fun. Uh but now as I get old and older, heh, uh perspective always changes. Um I honestly still think my fastest Iron Man is still inside me. Really? Yeah. And you want to bring it out or I do. Yeah. Again, people see the 50 which was a kind of an endurance completion type of thing. And um I've been criticized that I don't have speed. Well, again, they don't see the 10 years prior to when I did have speed and the foundation that I built. The biggest mistake that I think people make with with endurance racing is the same mistake that I made a decade ago was a marathon was the pinnacle of running at the time and I only gave myself 5 months to get ready for it. And um I I coach full-time now with athletes and one of the biggest things I try to get people to do is back down off the inspiration and let's build a foundation. Because because having a giant goal is phenomenal and you should. But as long as the time frame associated with it is has the proper balance. Cuz when I when I did the first world record um had I had the idea to do 50 consecutive, it still would have been a great goal, but not in that year. I had to go through the process and take my knocks and learn and evolve and grow to get to that point where I could even you know, tow the line for 50. How much of the learning and growing was your body growing and getting stronger and more capable and how much was knowing how to deal with what you were going to go through mentally? Yeah, both play a very pivotal role because the amount of volume that I was doing it's the smaller stabilizers, ligaments, tendons that that don't develop as fast as as muscles do. And that's why a lot of people get hurt because they go too quick with the development of these things and their muscles will always grow faster than the smaller stabilizers things and people aren't paying attention to those details. And they just get so excited with with the the enormity of the journey that they're not paying attention to the those small things. And And if you overlook those, you're going to get injured and you're going to be sidelined. And mental's obviously huge. Um and that is the sword that you have to continually sharpen. So again, the goal would have been great in 2010. I wasn't nearly mentally tough enough. I had to go through that process to where I could wake up and and do it. It's just It's like a muscle. It's like a a cardiovascular system. It It's something that you can develop, but it takes time. Confidence builds confidence and success builds success. And having not taken the right steps, I would have I would have ultimately failed come come time for the 50. Now, you've talked about the development of the alter ego, the Iron Cowboy. And man, at first it came to me as like a passing reference. And then the more I researched it, the more I got into it, I'm utterly fascinated. Get us inside that. Like, what does that look like? Is it flipping a switch? What are the traits that the ego has? Yeah, so initially the Iron Cowboy literally was I wore a cowboy hat during the marathon or run portion of my races so my kids could see me coming. Right? And then the beard evolved. And if you take a real close look at my logo, it's the beard and the cowboy hat. Okay. Right? And then if you turn And then if you turn it sideways, it's IC for Iron Cowboy. It's a lot of thought went into it. But day 30, we'll fast forward all the way to day 30 of the 50. When massive struggle, massively trying to figure things out, incredible amounts of trauma. Um day 30, I'm in Connecticut. And I'm 80 miles into the bike ride, and I literally pull off to the side of the road. I chuck my bike, and I um curl into a ball and I start crying. And I had to start focusing on all the reasons and and and whys I was out there. And by themselves, one reason was not enough for me to get back on my bike and do 20 more Ironmans. But as I started going through the list of everything that I was doing and why I was doing it, it's interesting cuz I I I would gather them all together and I'd focus on this this big ball. And I would bring it in close to me and as soon as I focused on that, I started to experience a rebirth. Because now I was focusing on the very very next moment that I had control over. And everything that that I was trying to accomplish and why I was there. And and I call this process now looking back on it both a rebirth and putting on my uniform, which was the alter ego. And my uniform was those yellow sunglasses you've seen me wearing in some of my pictures. And when I put those glasses on, that's when the Iron Cowboy comes out. And that dude is a bad bad man. And there's nothing that's going to get in his way. And and and I do a lot of speaking from stage now and I want to encourage people to find whatever their uniform is. Find whatever their alter ego is. Because when you discover that and and how to flip that switch, that that's when nothing gets in your way and that's where you shift your focus and you realize what your purpose is. And I and I knew if I had the courage to get back on my bike and and and finish that day and then do the 20 more, my life would be different. That you're thinking that while you're there on the ground. And this whole process was about 8 minutes. The whole thing from complete meltdown to breaking all of the purposes and whys down to the realization, the rebirth, and getting back on and going. Um and it can it can happen that quick. We're we're moments away every day from a decision that's going to completely change your life. Every single moment of every single day has a massive impact on where you ultimately end up. And so that was a huge turning point, but it was all the decisions before and after that led to that moment. If if the journey you're on is big enough, and it's going to have enough impact, and and change your life and other people's lives, one reason it's not going to be big enough. And you need to put a lot of thought and a lot of preparation and a lot of meditation into all of the reasons why. Because at some point in time you're going to need to gather all those little bad boys up, and then and intently focus on it to have enough courage to get back up and do 20 more Ironmans after all everything that we went through. And let's talk about the whys for a second because so putting you in context, I love how you've said, "Oh, when I tell people that I did this, everyone's assumption is that I'm rich and single." Yeah. And I'm married and have five kid five kids, Sure. and we're not rich. So, it hearing some of the struggles that you guys went through and, you know, like the kids having to sleep around the fireplace cuz there was no heater in their room, and um you know, living like literally near starvation wages, and yet you guys were setting these grand goals for the family, why? Well, here's here's what a lot of people don't know about the journey because they just see the headline. Um leading up to a massive shift in our lives, you know, I I was middle America, owned my own mortgage company. I immigrated from another country, and I was going to live the American dream. I was going to be a business owner, and uh and and I had the future in my hands. Well, if you follow US economics at all in 2008, the mortgage sector got hit the hardest. And we lost everything. Uh We fought and fought and fought and they just continued to take and take and take until they took it all. And again, it's one of those moments where you can allow it to define you and continue to beat you down or you can look at it as a blessing and a turning point and turn it into a different future. And for me, it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Wow. To hit hit that rock bottom because I would have never made the shift that we did and I would probably still be miserable today writing loans. Um and it wasn't me. Um it wasn't who I am authentically. And and once this happened and they stripped us away of everything, my wife and I sat down as a family and we talked about what do we want to do? What direction can we take? What are our passions and how can we evolve and do something together? And we started to plot all of this out. And uh you know, we were heavily heavily criticized for the decisions we were making early on but because people couldn't see the big picture. They couldn't see what we knew in our minds as far as where we were going. Um and like I said, it took a decade. Um but now looking back on it, it was just a decade. And we have the rest of our lives now to go have an impact and hopefully change a generation. Um I would have never ever in my wildest dreams thought I'd be sitting somewhere like here talking to you. I am currently booked in 40 countries Woah. to speak in the next 12 months. Wow, that's uh that is astonishing. So, walk me through how you didn't panic when everything gets stripped away cuz in that moment, most people are in fight or flight. Where literally blood has left their prefrontal cortex, the their higher level cognition is gone, and they're not able to think clearly. Most people panic, take the first job they can, or whatever. They certainly don't map something out that's a grand enough vision that they can survive criticism. Yeah. Um I am very easygoing. And I and I had an upbringing where my mother is um is a dreamer. And um she's never been able to figure out how to turn the dreams into something tangible or profitable. And then my dad is a blue-collar firefighter. You work 40 years, you get a pension, and you take no risks. And I and I I didn't love either of those paths. And so I I I married the two together. Um in order to kind of make this this person that could could have success. And I'm my personality to bring into that mix is a very calm and easygoing person that just goes with the flow. And I think it takes a dreamer with vision that has incredible work ethic that has the ability to move and flow as things evolve and change. And to me that is is almost a perfect to achieve something that everybody has said impossible because you have to be calm. You have to not listen to all of the chatter and the noise. You have to be able to block that out. You have to have extreme vision, and then nothing happens without that work ethic that I learned from my dad. And so that that all of those things together is what allowed me to conceptualize and be calm in those moments because I took all of these beautiful things that I'd learned in my upbringing and applied it to to towards this. How did you find your authentic self? Like as it's all collapsing and you realize, "Hey, maybe this is actually is a good thing." How did you then look inward and find what you and Sunny could collectively fall in love with? Yeah, I think for me as it was it was the moment that I realized that I needed to stop listening to everybody else. Um we're surrounded today by people being satisfied with mediocre. And um and for me as soon as I realized that I I could believe in myself and I had a a supporting crew beside me and around me that it opened up a lot of the doors. And the moment I I used someone else's standard of excellence, that was just enough to get me moving. And then you need to put that person aside or look past that person and create or do you. Create your own lane. And so so for me you know, once I stopped looking at what everybody else was doing and then truly believed in what I could do, that you know, combining it with all those character traits that I that I talked about before, that that's when human potential is truly truly can be found and experienced. How did you develop the belief in yourself? Uh I think just over over a long period of time. Again, it's that whole mental aspect of sharpening that tool and putting yourself in in situations where you can learn and grow. Success builds success and confidence builds confidence. And just over time as I started to do things I was I was becoming successful at them and I was taking I was doing a lot of little things consistently over a long period of time. And that's what allowed me to build the confidence to take on the next the next the next. And so it's just it was learned. It was learned by doing and taking taking massive amounts of action. You have to you have to immediately act and and and go after it. Um yeah. And what are you teaching your kids about failure for instance? Like how do you talk to them about the loss of the business? Um yeah, we're really open about stuff like this with our kids because we want them to learn and evolve and grow and you know, if they make a commitment, we hold them to it. Um good example is my daughter. Um she wanted to do gymnastics and about halfway through she was like this is too hard. And I was like I don't I don't care. You signed up. You got to You got to see it through and she did and she's a she she advanced so quickly and started to see success. She loved it. She stayed in it. Um but it's something she said she was going to do and and she needed to see that through. And so and that's one thing I'm really big on is if you say you're going to do something you do it. And and that's just the example I try to set. Now I and I also believe that kids are a product of our environments and if you want your kids to be excellent, you have to be excellent yourself. And so what that was one of the things when I'm laying on the on the side of the road at 30 with 20 Ironmans to go, I said I'm not I I told my kids I would do this. And what what type of example would I be setting if I if 30 would have been okay. Now, it would have been world setting. I know. It's so extraordinary. have been world setting, but I would have been the guy that said he was going to do 50 that did did 30 and it would have been considered a failure. And so it was really really important to me to to do what I said I was going to do at whatever it took to to do that. And and I think that's a very valuable lesson for for kids to to see and to learn is you you you set any goal you want, dream, vision, whatever, uh you do the work it takes to get there, and then once you start executing, you see that through. Um yeah, it's just just a legacy that I want to leave for my kids. I love that. Do you think about identity at all? Like, do you think this is who I am, and I'm a collection of basically things that I say that I am? Uh yes and no. What I've What I've learned kind of looking back at what I've done is those are they're just milestones. I've crossed a lot of finish lines. Um I get the question what's next a lot. And what's next doesn't have to be in the same physical or mental category. And for me, what's next is this opportunity. Uh we've written a book, and uh I get to like I get to go around and I get to speak. And my the only thing I'm trying to do is to get people to open their minds um as to what is possible. We're just we're living in a day and age where we're we're limiting what we think is is is possible. We're getting in our own way. And and my my thing that I want to get people to do, and and you've probably heard somebody say it before, but motion creates emotion. The hardest thing to do is start moving, engaging. Once you start to move and engage, you realize two things. One, it's not it's not as scary as you thought it was. And two, you actually start enjoying what you're doing. It was It was The only thing that was scaring you was the the first mo- the first action. Dude, I'm I'm just like every ordinary dude that's out there. I just have learned to put myself in the game. I've learned to show up every single day. The moment you realize the next step isn't going to kill you and that next step is the first step to evolving, changing, growing, and learning, and becoming literally the best version of yourself, that's the most beautiful thing. It's not going to kill you. And putting yourself in the game, you're giving yourself an opportunity to achieve something that everybody else said was impossible. Yeah, it's really incredible. What do you teach your kids about that? What about goal setting? Like, do you tell them to huge goals or what does that look like? Yeah, uh you know, they're young and so they obviously know that I'm an advocate of huge goals. Um I heard one of your guests recently say there's a difference between vision and huge goals. And I really liked that. Um I want my kids to have vision and I want them to have huge goals. And the thing about huge goals is you almost have to take the huge goal and shelf it. Don't forget about it. But shelf it and now focus on everything that's small to get there. You have to be You have to know that it's there. But in order to achieve it, you have to break it down because it's going to be overwhelming. So, for us example, my journey started with Hawaii, Alaska, Washington. And in order to get off the island of Hawaii in time, we had to start at midnight. So, we didn't go to sleep. Did Ironman number one, touchdown in Alaska with just enough time to start Ironman number two, got on a plane, touchdown in Washington with just enough time to do Ironman number three. So, three days, three Ironmans, three states, a total of six and a half hours of sleep. Oh, god. On a commercial airline in coach with five kids. And so, if you want to back yourself into a corner, this is the worst possible way to do it cuz I woke up on day number four overwhelmed, exhausted with no clue how I possibly going to do 47 consecutive more Iron Mans. Um I mean just just massively overwhelmed. Um I knew what the goal was. I never lost sight of it. But believe you me, I had to focus on literally the next step. And that's when it started so early on day number four. I mean I we we were dealing with such fatigue, I was falling asleep on the bike. I had to figure out and and concentrate so intently to not fall asleep on the bike. And as you know, I I ultimately did on day 18, I lost the battle and I fell asleep on my bike and crashed. A lot of people don't know too cuz I didn't talk about it very much, but on day number five, I tore my shoulder. Ooh. I had to figure out how to swim 45 Iron Mans with one arm. I could figure this out. I just had to manage and become mentally strong with the pain. I love that. Your wife, Sunny, said in an interview, "The problem is most people don't know what they want." As a coach, what do you say or as a speaker, what do you say to somebody who they don't know what they want? I've got a friend right now who's massively struggling and uh it's the exact question I asked him. I said, "What do you want? What's your passion? What are you trying to accomplish?" He could not answer the question. And so my next question was, "This is what you have to do first. You have to find out what you want and where you want to go, then we can start formulating the plan." You can't formulate a plan and figure out the steps unless you know where you're trying to go. You'll just spin around in circles and uh probably move backwards. How can you go somewhere if you don't know where you're trying to go and what you're trying to achieve? And do you have a process that people can use to find that thing? To find that thing, I mean it's going to be different for every single person. Uh just like my kids with with sports and different things that they're doing, they're trying a lot of different things. Allow yourself to have opportunities. And here's here's what people do is they get dead set on the journey that they want to take and they're so rigid uh with how they're going to get there that they don't see the door over here. And they don't see the bend in the river. And they try to cut because they they know they're going right here and they try to cut through. Well, they didn't know at this bend of the river there was a paradise and a picnic waiting for them that would have opened up a door. Maybe their sweetheart was waiting there for them. Don't be so rigid with how you're going to get there because that's how you're going to discover what your passions are and who and who's who's supposed to be on your journey. And that's that's how truly you're going to discover what your passions are by showing up every day digging, grinding, hustle, whatever you want to call it and being open to all the opportunities. Yeah, for sure. Um what's the relationship that you have to the negative voice in your head? Cuz I've got to imagine when you're running or swimming or biking and it hurts it's kicking up the you can stop, you should stop, what are you doing? Your foot hurts, your knee's swollen, right? Like how do you deal with that? Um it know it knows to no longer even show up. Really? So literally that that isn't your struggle when you're competing. No. Um and I think it's because I I overcame and I did the hardest thing that I've ever done. And now everything is an is an adventure. And it knows it has no space. And so you you have you know, my mother, I love her and she she always said to me, she said uh she and I know she didn't make it up, but she said 10% of life is what happens to you and 90% of life is how you choose to react to it. And um I've even lessened that 10% of of what happens to you and I don't even the door's not even open. He's not welcome. Ha. And so he doesn't even he doesn't even come in cuz I'll just I'll slam it in his face. I say in one of my videos that you have to have 100, 200, 300% conviction on what you're doing it's not even worth starting. Don't even bother. The the panic button for us on the 50 or in anything that I do now it doesn't even exist. It's not even an option. There's there's there's only problem solving. And if people can realize that there's always an answer always a solution, then there is no room for for criticism. And you you quickly replace that with problem solving. If you're busy trying to solve problems, you don't have time to have that conversation with Mr. Negative or Mr. Doubt. Talk to me about the standard of excellence. You mentioned that earlier and and I didn't jump on it then and I really want to jump on it now. I have a a personal obsession with standards of excellence, with holding myself to a standard. And one thing that I've I've always struggled with is I hold myself to a ridiculous standard, which is the reason I've been successful by the way. So, um like you so the success that I've had in business is not because I presented any extraordinary talents or anything like that. My own mother quietly assumed I was going to fail. Like just nobody ever really expected much for me other than me. And so I wanted to achieve it in just an absurdly high level. But that meant that I had to be relentless on myself about it's not enough. It's not enough. It's not enough. You have to get better. You have to learn more. You have to learn faster. You have to be faster. Right? Just like always always about skill acquisition. So it was only very briefly about something external and then very quickly became about the internal journey of just getting better and better and better. But then I don't hold other people to that standard. And then and I always thought that was a good thing. And now I'm going through this period where I think it's one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in my life as a leader is to not hold other people to my standard. And to let people off the hook. But I don't know if I'm right. And so, I'm really hoping you got some answers for me. Yeah, for me, um I one thing I've learned is I can't I can't change anybody. They have to be in a space and ready to do it and and do it for themselves. And so, for me to hold somebody to my standard, I think is is somewhat unfair. Now, I hate excuses. I hate entitlement. I want to hold people to that standard, but it's not fair because they're on their own journey and I and I I'm not living from their perspective. Um everybody's heart is different. And for me to judge somebody else to my standard is unfair because I don't know where they are in their journey. And they could be at the beginning stages and it would have been unfair to judge me at 24. 41 today. I've learned a lot and I've grown a lot. So, my standard at 41 is different than my standard at 24. So, if I'm trying to hold a 24-year-old to my standard, probably not realistic. Maybe I'm cautioning people that are listening to take a step back and to understand, take a minute to understand what that person's heart possibly is and where they are on their journey in retrospect to where you are in your journey. That's really really insightful. Uh I love that a lot and knowing what somebody's heart is, I think is um I'm going to use that. That's really really interesting. Um I want to talk about your wife for a second, who um like the this whole journey with you guys as a couple is pretty extraordinary. Oddly enough, my wife and I have been together for 17 years as well. How have you guys like learned to communicate? What are some tools and tactics that you guys have used? Like my wife and I define terms. So, what does it mean when you say I promise? What does it mean when you say it's important to me? Um so, we have a bunch of things like that that we call rules of engagement. Um where it's like we know how to act in a given scenario. And I know there was one time where I can't remember what um Ironman you were doing, but you had crumbled down and you didn't want to get back up and your wife wanted to speak to you on the phone. You refused to take it cuz you knew that she'd never take no for an answer. Yeah. Um you know, obviously my wife and I have evolved a lot together. And um a huge part of that is is communication. And we apply we we do the same thing with our kids. Um Dude, if you're struggling in what you're doing and getting on the same page, over communicate. And then just love each other for who they are. All right, before I ask my final question, where can these guys find you online? Uh everything is on ironcowboy.com. And um all the links and everything are on there. All my social media is ironcowboyjames. And uh yeah, it's all there. Nice. What is the impact that you want to have on the world? Uh man, the impact I I am not here today to change anybody. Um and we just had a a good conversation about um people at different times of their journey. And for me, I literally just want to have people understand that you have to move to start feeling something. And if you move and start feeling something, you're on your way to the best version of yourself. And And the impact that I want to have is just to have the ability to get you to live outside of the existence that you're in and to open it up to what's truly possible. And if I can just get people to understand that you're in your own way. And to open up Pandora's Box, per se, then you'll truly find what your limits are. And I hope that you don't find your limits, that you exceed your limits. I love that, James. Thank you so much for coming on. It was amazing. Guys, guys, trust me when I say this is a world that as you go in, you are truly going to be empowered. There's something about watching another human being struggle with their own limitations to overcome the unimaginable. And the way that he documented his journey so that you're really there with him, whether you're watching the videos, the documentary, reading the book, all of it really invites you inside his mind so that you can understand what he had to overcome, so you can understand how he functions with his kids, his wife. It is this absolutely incredible story of making no excuses, of being able to do all of this stuff with a family without huge financial backing. It's really just about somebody that dared to have a huge audacious goal, and I hope everybody heard, then break it back down to what's the step I need to take today. How do I execute today? How do I get better? To have that plan of execution in order to be able to pull off the grand thing that you want to do, and knowing that he did from some extraordinary uh gift of genetics, but really just doing a lot of little things consistently right. So, show up, figure out what your journey is, get moving as he said, to get that feeling, and to know that success breeds success, confidence breeds confidence, and you guys will be able to do anything you want. That is what everybody says about this guy, that his journey is going to prove that to you in no uncertain terms, and I'm telling you, researching him was such a powerful reminder for me that the only limits are the limits that I set for myself. All right, if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe, and until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care. All right, friends. Hey everybody, thank you so much for watching and being a part of this community. If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. You're going to get weekly videos on building a growth mindset, cultivating grit, and unlocking your full potential.