Video summary
The video features an interviewer discussing the modern dating landscape with a 24-year-old woman who recently ended a six-year relationship that began when she was 17. The central theme revolves around the question of whether there are enough women available for relationships today, with the interviewee arguing that many young women are fully career-focused and single by choice. However, the interviewer challenges this perspective, suggesting that men are not complaining about a lack of women but rather about the quality and readiness of those who claim to be seeking relationships. The conversation highlights a disconnect where young women often attribute their relationship struggles to external factors or male criteria, while the interviewer points out that many of these women themselves may not be emotionally ready or stable enough for a serious commitment.
A significant portion of the dialogue focuses on the interviewee's family background and its impact on her understanding of relationships. She reveals that she was raised by a mother who became celibate after having two children out of wedlock due to toxic previous relationships, while her father is unmarried and dealing with his own issues. The interviewer critiques this lack of guidance, arguing that the mother's personal struggles prevented her from modeling a healthy marriage for her daughter. Consequently, the interviewee had to learn about relationships on her own, leading to a six-year stint in a toxic partnership with a boy who was barely older than her. The interviewer emphasizes that without parental mentorship or a stable home environment, young women are left to navigate complex emotional landscapes alone, often repeating the mistakes of their parents.
The discussion also touches upon physical health and self-improvement as crucial components of being ready for a relationship. The interviewer notes that at 24, the interviewee has full control over her fitness and appearance, pointing out that she is heavier than ideal for her height despite having a large bust size. He argues that women should prioritize getting fit and working on their mental health before entering another serious relationship to avoid wasting years on incompatible partners. The underlying message is that modern culture does not model traditional family structures, so individuals must take responsibility for fixing themselves first. By addressing their flaws and improving their physical and emotional well-being, young women can become more attractive to men who are genuinely looking for stability and marriage rather than just casual dating.
Ultimately, the video concludes with the assertion that relationship problems often start within oneself, as people attract what they are. The interviewer advises the interviewee to view her past relationship not as a tragedy but as a learning experience and to keep moving forward rather than dwelling on toxicity or blaming others. He suggests that men today generally should not seek serious marriage before age 30 or 35 because many women have not changed much in their expectations while societal conditions for male stability have become more difficult. The final takeaway is that if young women want meaningful relationships, they must stop repeating the same mistakes of their mothers by taking charge of their own growth, fitness, and emotional maturity before seeking a partner again.
Read the full video transcript
Hi.
>> How are you?
>> Good. How are you?
>> I am well. How old are you?
>> I'm 24.
>> 24. Okay, do me a favor. Um
kind of get stable and let's get into
it. Are there
Are there enough women for relationships
today?
>> Okay, hold on. Let me get stable. Okay.
>> Go ahead.
>> What?
>> Are there enough women for relationships
today?
>> Yes. You believe so, yeah.
>> Okay.
Based on what?
>> Based on
well, the younger generation starting to
become
more available.
I would say so. Like, I was born in
1996, so obviously I'm getting close to
my mid-20s.
>> Okay.
>> There's a lot of women, especially
myself with no kids,
fully career,
that have available in time to be in a
relationship.
>> Okay. When was the last time you had a
boyfriend?
>> I just ended my relationship for 6
years.
>> When?
>> Um not too long ago, like 2 weeks ago.
>> 2 weeks? Why didn't you guys get
married?
>> You should ask him that. That's a good
question.
>> No, you said you ended it.
>> Because we are not married.
>> Okay.
Um but you ended the relationship.
>> Mhm. Yeah, I did because I mean, there
was obviously underlying issues like
toxicity and so on.
>> No, I can't take I can't take that cuz
see, this is where it starts to go off
the rails. You can't say you ended a
6-year relationship cuz you're not
married and then say during the time you
were there it was toxic.
Did you
If you're saying that you believe women
are are there enough women then what
what do you think is wrong why don't you
think the men are saying that?
>> Cuz I feel like men in general have like
a certain
criteria like you stated they are
looking for something
obviously women are not providing them
which is fine.
>> So that means so because men are the
consumers the purchases
if they are purchasing women or wives
and they're saying they're not enough
women or wives it's not a problem with
the men.
>> And yeah I mean a lot of
I kind of feel like it's half and half
because men at
>> No no no it can't be half and half cuz
men are the husbands.
>> Right.
Yeah I see what you're saying but in the
sense of
at the same time there are plenty of men
who don't have their stuff together that
>> We're not focusing on those see
talk to me about where why women are
single today and don't blame men.
>> I would say a lot of it has to do with
their own selves like fighting their own
demons meaning like they're dealing with
their own personal issues trying to heal
themselves to be better ready for a man.
>> go to college?
>> I am in college right now yes.
>> Okay one in three black men who marry
and have a college degree choose to
marry a non-black woman.
Black men are marrying black men want to
marry black men are saying there not
enough women for relationships what are
black women going to do about it?
>> Yeah.
>> Or are you okay with him going to get
with a white woman?
>> I mean I'm part white so it wouldn't
bother me either way.
>> But you you see the point my point is
the market decides the men are saying
they want relationships that's why my
show is so popular. It's not my show is
not watched by a bunch of
Cheeto-eating neck-bearded cellar
dwellers. My show is populated by
professional men
>> Right.
>> who want relationships.
And they're saying they're not enough.
So, in your situation, you said you were
in this um
in a relationship for 6 months. I mean,
6 years. So, you got with him when you
were what? 18?
>> Um we did in 2015,
yeah. So, I was like about 18, 17.
>> 18.
>> Mhm.
>> And how was he?
>> He was
>> How old was he?
>> He's like a couple months older, so he
was I mean, less than me. So, he was 17
at the time.
>> So, you had a younger man and you were
with him for 6 years.
Ma'am, was that man even ready to be
Most men aren't ready to be a husband
till around 30.
>> He stated he I mean, obviously they all
say that. He stated that I mean,
>> we can't we can't say that. No, and I
can't back that up.
Why would you come in and say they all
do that?
You see how you You see how easy See,
let me To my critics, I want you guys to
understand how easily women disparage
all men.
You Let's talk about the one you had
instead of the ones you don't know.
>> Right.
>> fair?
>> Yes, no. I
Yes.
I can
>> So,
were you Did you have your mom and dad
or your mom and dad married?
>> No.
>> Okay. Uh were you raised by your mother?
>> I'm back and forth.
>> Okay.
>> But my
>> So, who What I'm trying to understand is
who advised you on your relationships?
>> Who invited me?
>> Advised you.
>> See, I kind of had to learn myself,
which is why I I mean, I was in the
situation that I was in cuz I was trying
so hard to make
a
>> Who did you ask?
>> I really didn't have anyone to really
give me guidance on it. I did we just
kind of winged it.
>> You can't talk to your father about
dating?
>> No, cuz he's not really the one to judge
either. He's not married. He he's going
through his own drama with his own
different of women.
>> ask your mother?
>> My mother is celibate. She's not really
looking for any type of marriage.
>> Celibate?
>> Yeah, she's celibate.
>> How many kids does she have?
>> Just me and my little brother.
>> And she's been celibate for how long?
>> Since my brother was born. So, my
brother's nine now.
>> So, for what reasons?
>> Because of the father of my brother was
also a toxic relationship. She just kind
of was focused on
>> no that she your mother is celibate
because her baby daddy was toxic?
>> Well, no. I would say she's celibate
because she has the same beliefs like
she's Christian. She wants to get
married and she
>> big daddy but that but that do you
realize how crazy this sound?
>> Yeah, no. I
>> two kids out of wedlock by two different
men and then you want to become
celibate. See what you're showing is
even your mama is a problem.
>> Mhm.
How so?
>> love your mama, but your mama is a
problem.
You don't get to go and be a reborn
Christian and be celibate for nine years
and then start saying the problem with
men.
>> I don't think she sees the problem. She
and I mean I can
>> That can say that again. Say that again.
Say that again. Say that again.
>> That I don't believe she was the
problem.
>> No, you don't believe she sees the
problem.
>> I yeah, I don't
see the problem as her. Well, not as
her, but
>> What What women do?
What women do see that?
>> Yeah, her own personal health. So, she's
That's [clears throat] what I'm saying.
She's trying to decipher herself and
work through herself before even trying
to get into a marriage or stable
relationship. And when she is ready
>> man. But here's the problem.
She already got two kids out here and
one of them is without guidance.
So, your mama, who's a modern woman,
who's a Christian, but got baby daddy
one, baby daddy two.
She's still trying to figure out her own
and got you as a daughter out here
wandering through this world by yourself
with no guidance. So, you're making
mistakes cuz your mama ain't got her
head in the game cuz she's trying to
figure her out. When it really
should have been someone should have
helped your mother
pick better, become somebody's wife,
then marry and have children afterwards,
and your mother and father help you
figure out what a model relationship.
See, this is very basic, but it all
starts with the men you ladies pick and
it starts with the women.
When your mother chose to have children,
she gave up her single life.
But far too many It's I can make the
case that mothers today are putting
their personal lives before their kids'
lives because at 24, you're saying you
had a six-year relationship and no adult
mother or father stepped in to give you
any guidance.
But for that case, you might as well be
a foster kid because it A parent is
supposed to help guide you.
True or false?
Would you
But at the same time
my mother had me at a young age. She was
also 17 herself when she had me.
>> Mhm.
>> How old is your mother?
My mother is now She just Her birthday
was not last week, so she's 43. I would
have put 43.
And my dad is also 42.
>> So, your mother was born in roughly 60
78 or 79 or 80, right?
>> 79. Oh, no, no, 78. I think Yeah, 78.
>> 78. And I got news for you.
I'm 10 years older and I knew about
condoms and contraceptives.
So, I can't give your mama a pass that
she just had a oops baby.
>> Yeah, definitely
>> Especially two.
>> Yeah, no. It's not a pass at all.
>> So, if just think about this. Listen to
how we're talking about describing your
mother.
And that's the man and and then even
with you, you're saying you're in a
relationship and it was toxic. Well,
either you're painting a picture that
you were just innocent in all of this
for 6 years?
>> No. I never said I was innocent. No.
Mhm.
>> Okay, but when toxic
who was the major who was the more
What percentage of the toxicity was on
you?
>> I would say about
In the beginning, it was me. In the
beginning, it was
But as I got older, I started to
understand and realize what my flaws
were and I tried to I made adjustments
in myself to
bring down that toxic like that
toxicnessity
out of me.
>> But why were you toxic at 17?
>> Cuz I didn't know how to a real
relationship worked. I I
My parents neither of them were in a
successful
>> When you were toxic, what are you some
of the things you were talking about
that were toxic?
>> I mean, just the arguments getting out
of hand,
you know, the crazy things
>> In high school?
>> Well, that's like at fast forward to
like 19, you know, we're moving in
together, we're living together.
>> Yeah, but you said in the beginning it
was you.
>> Well, that's like past the puppy phase,
you know, the first first year first
year or two it's like butterflies and
rainbows.
>> And you moved in with somebody at 19?
>> Yep.
>> And your mother and father just said all
right with this?
>> I mean again, they didn't like it but
knowing who I am, I'm going to do it.
>> Exactly. Thank you.
To my critics.
Women choose. At 19 years old, can't
nobody tell you nothing.
>> Exactly. Yeah. I wish the world
>> So when the men So when the men are
saying they run into women
who are who share your reflection and
your experiences,
why would Do you understand why most are
saying you're not they're not women for
relationships? Because arguably, you're
not ready.
You You just ended a relationship for 6
years, 1/3 of your life.
Well, not 6 years. 1 25% of your life
spent with somebody that you're calling
toxic. That guy was a boy.
He was too young to be trying to be a
husband or anything else like that, but
y'all were trying to figure this out on
your own and I'm still not understanding
why modern middle-class women
who have really none of the struggles
other women have had are so toxic.
Y'all should be the happiest, easiest
to go get along people in the world.
>> Yeah.
90 99% of the time I am.
I just feel like
>> wait, 99 I want 100. Y'all ain't picking
no cotton.
Y'all ain't sharecropping. Y'all ain't
cleaning cleaning people's floors.
Y'all sitting in air conditioning and
got new textbooks. What are you talking
about?
>> Right.
>> This is what the men are saying. They
run into women at 24
who sound like they got a lot of miles
on them.
So, how long
If you've been with somebody for 6
years, common thought is it takes about
a third of the time to detox from that
person and get clear. That means you
won't be ready for a relationship till
about 26 to 27.
>> That's disappointing.
>> That's
Well, that's what happens when
young people are allowed to get into
relationships and stay in them for years
with no guidance.
And can't nobody tell you nothing. So,
even if you had the guidance, what
you're saying to me is you probably
wouldn't have listened anyway.
That's why So, well
Do you have any children?
>> No.
I only have dogs.
>> Okay.
I'm on my third degree.
>> Okay.
Uh how tall are you?
>> Huh?
>> How tall are you?
>> I am 5'1 and 1/2.
>> Dress size?
>> My dress size? I am a large.
>> How much did you weigh last time you
weighed yourself?
>> I was 180.
You're really pretty young.
>> That is one That is one thing you as a
young woman have 100% control over.
While you're getting your head together,
you need to get in the gym and get fit.
>> No, I know. I was 130 in high school.
That was my stable I mean
>> And you were 5'1? You said 5 what?
>> 5'1 and 1/2. I mean, my height I know by
You're really pretty young.
>> That is one But even at But even at But
even at that
5'1 5'130
is still a bit heavy for your height.
>> But you have to understand, I'm like a
double D
>> Okay. I get it. I get it. You're busty.
>> That has to do with your boobs.
>> Great. We give you 10 lbs for titties.
Cool.
That means you got to do more ab work.
Right?
>> Yeah.
>> You got to keep your core tight. And all
I'm saying is if you recognize you had
issues
what you can't afford to do right now is
to go into the next relationship with
you being
toxic or whatever.
Because you can't afford to waste four
or five more years.
>> Exactly.
>> you got no help from your mother, no
help from your father, the culture is
not about relationship, the culture is
not about family. If you want that and
you didn't see it modeled growing up,
that means you need to get to work.
Mental work, physical work, so you can
get yourself in a position to where
you know, if it's faster, it's faster.
But the more the closer you become to
being coming suitable, the more likely
you will attract the kind of man that
wants relationship. We are all what we
attract. You make sense?
>> No, it does. Yeah.
>> Do you live with me you still live with
your mother?
>> No.
>> Okay. Uh are you still in the same city
or state with your family?
>> Yes.
>> All right. Well,
um
start hanging around um
the kind of women that you want to be
like because like I said, our culture
doesn't model it.
But I'll say this and I'll get to the
next person. In all relationships,
the problem generally starts in the
mirror. We are what we attract, okay?
>> Mhm.
>> So just because it didn't go well with
this first person, take it as a learning
experience, keep on moving.
Um and and that guy is arguably too
young. I mean, I don't think men today
really should be looking at serious
relationship or marriage before 30 35
cuz
women haven't changed much and it's
going to be difficult for a man to be
able to provide and be stable enough for
what many women are saying they want.
But appreciate it, man. Have a good
night.
>> You too. Thank you.
>> Bye-bye.
All right.
She says, "I'm a double D." Y'all in
there thirsting it up.
Some of y'all are breast men, huh? I'm a
leg man, though. I like, you know, boobs
to me are like an extra.
I like a track runner's body. So, like a
little waist and I love
a woman's legs. So, I specially that,
you know, the hamstring with the
quad and then a nice calf and then them
little C booties. Pop. I don't like big
hips.
I like it when you look this way, you
don't see that.
It's just kind of like
and then you turn around and you can set
your damn drink on that one. Uh-huh.
Mhm.
That's why I laugh when they keep you
gay. I'm like
>> [laughter]
>> Oh my god. Oh, I love mhm. Anyway, let's
get next. Ladies,
are there enough of y'all out here for
the men?
All right.