Why Working Hard Isn't The Answer | Aubrey Marcus on Impact Theory

Fear is a belief that something negative is going to happen rather than something positive is going to happen. So, it's like that's on the other side. You're almost believing in your failure, right? Rather than believing in your success. So, you have to go attack and collapse these different fears. And part of that is going to be sucking out the the penalty if if you fail. So, you got to realize like there is no such thing as failure. There's just learning. Hey everybody, welcome to Impact Theory. Our goal with this show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams. All right, today's guest is the founder and CEO of one of the fastest-growing human performance companies in America. He's also a New York Times best-selling author and top podcaster whose show has been downloaded more than 10 million times on iTunes alone. What makes him so interesting though is that Onnit, the Inc. 500 fitness juggernaut that he founded and took from nothing to an industry titan doing tens of millions of dollars in revenue, is that it was launched in desperation following years of failure. By his own admission, his amazing success story has been less a classic business case study and more an intensely personal journey of self-development that happened to reflect itself outwardly in business success. This raw and authentic approach to growing a company has made him one of the most fascinating examples of the modern mission-driven entrepreneur, someone who spends entire marketing cycles not pushing product but rather talking about esoteric topics such as plant-based medicinal healing, tripping balls with psychedelics, and how to build a healthy sex life. Not because he thinks it's going to move more units, but rather because he believes it adds more value. And this commitment to hyper-authenticity coupled with a desire for genuine mastery has made him one of the most sought-after voices in the space. And he's now a regular contributor to outlets like Entrepreneur, Forbes, The Doctors, and The Joe Rogan Experience. So, please help me in welcoming the man who went from selling flashlights to being a flashlight for anyone seeking a better life, the author of the best-selling smash-hit book Own the Day, Own Your Life, Aubrey Marcus. Dude, that working on that one was a lot of fun. You really are like this classic example of what entrepreneurs are becoming because we have this new voice with podcasting and everything. It's really incredible to watch you be so mission-driven and mission-focused. Um and I want to talk about that at a high level, the notion of really optimizing yourself because you have a it's very atypical notion of optimization versus the just grind it out, work your face off kind of mentality. Where'd that come from? Well, I think it's really a pragmatic approach. You know, I think you can always get in that super grind mode, that that real push, that sprint to get things done. But, as in any sprint, if you're an athlete running a, you know, quarter mile, you're going to need recovery after that, you know? And I think that's something that we can sometimes fail to recognize that you don't actually get stronger when you're sprinting, you get stronger when you recover. And I think the psyche is just the same as the body in that we perform best have periods where we push and then periods where we reflect, integrate, recover. And so, for me, it's just been listening to what works for me. You know, I can continue to grind and continue to perform worse and worse and worse or I can take the opportunities when I'm inspired and push really hard and then take those next phases to recover, adapt, and try and come back the next time and sprint even faster, sprint even farther. But, it's just finding that balance that's really effective for me to get what I need to get done. And how do you find that? Like, is there an internal uh, self-awareness that you've cultivated or Yeah, there's like a natural sense to find balance. And I think we all have that. I think we know it. We just override that voice. We're like, "Oh, more coffee." Or, "Oh, more something else to hide the signals that our body is naturally telling us." Like our body is constantly giving us clues. But the problem is it comes with a whisper. And we can drown out that whisper in a million different ways with distraction, with you know, mental processes, with, you know, physical things like, like I said, drinking coffee or taking Adderall or doing whatever you need to do to drown out that sound that says, "Hey, really you need to sleep." You know, like that's really what your body is asking for. And so I think it's really just tuning in to what you need and being able to listen to that voice and not only hear it but follow through on what it says. If you had to put a really fine point on what you think optimization should be, when somebody hears you talking about that, um, what should they take away from it? Well, it's ultimately the principle that, you know, you want to be a little bit better in some way tomorrow than you are today. But it's not going to be in a linear path. Again, these go through cycles of stress and recovery. So, it's just kind of being able to surf the flow of that and know again, it's it's really comes down to balance. So, it's the practices. Like you need to know what to do, for sure. And then you need to know how to apply those things in the right way. So, when you when to push and when to take the the pressure off the gas as well. And I think that's really understanding that. So, part of it is the knowledge and then part of it is the follow through and then part of it is the discipline to know not only when you need to go but when you need to rest. Now, the book, by the way, A is amazing and then B it is really robust. And I was really surprised how when I heard the concept for the book as being like, "This is an ideal day." I I wouldn't have expected that it was so meaty and so backed with science. It was like 379 like um citations. It was pretty intense. What made you pick such highly tactical stuff as um your um manual essentially? Yeah, I think it's important to really trust that what you're doing is going to work, you know, and I think that's a combination of experience and all of the different people that we work with, top performers and athletes and everything. But it's also a mix of there's a great robust body of science that's available out there. And I think having the combination of these really practical, experiential, you know, understanding of what has worked for me and what has worked for those people that I've, you know, worked with and encountered in in my life through Onnit and through these different, you know, avenues where I've been able to connect with the world's best, but also, you know, what does the research say? You know, where is the science pointing us? And I think combining both of those and finding the areas where both lock in and really strong. But trying to find the sweet spot where both kind of line up and where science meets practicum to really get the most effective plan to go through a fully balanced day, a day where you feel like you're really living. It's not a day that feels like, "Oh, man, I'm on this diet and it sucks and I got to do this." Like, what's a day that makes life awesome and and makes you again a little bit better tomorrow from having done it today? And that's what we wanted to try and cover in the book. Mhm, I love that. Talk to me about belief. Going to what you were just talking about with you have to trust that it's going to work out. Um you talk about placebo, you talk about the power of belief. What what is something around that that you think people misunderstand or underutilize maybe? Well, I think in the health space, you know, we're some of the worst at it actually because we we arm ourselves with this information. We'll read a book like Wheat Belly and we'll find out all the horrible things that bread do to us. And we might have been eating bread our whole life pretty and doing it pretty well, but we read a book like that and we're like, "Oh, man, bread is poison." So, we tell ourselves bread is poison, and then all of a sudden, you have that little bit of grain, and you're like, "Ah, I'm getting breaking out and everything." And really, that's just the mind and the nocebo effect telling us that what we're doing is poison for us. And I think we have to be really mindful that the mind can actually translate information in a lot of different ways and has way more control than we give it credit. And this has been proven hundreds of times over and over again. I know you had Dr. Joe Dispenza on the show, and he's one of the leaders in this field, but if you look at the research, everything from breaking out with poison ivy or not breaking out with poison ivy, you know, that's controlled by the mind. You've talked about weaponizing belief, which intoxicates me in a way that I can't explain. I find that so interesting. Um you talked about it in conjunction with Conor McGregor. What do you mean by weaponizing belief, and how can we employ that? Yeah, I think, you know, we're all really good at detecting each other's belief to a certain degree. And, you know, I I we're businessmen, so for us, it's probably going to come in a pitch meeting, right? Like or an employee or something. Like you'll have that person come to pitch you, you'll have that employee come, and they are just so sure, not overcompensating, cuz that actually is a sign of insecurity, right? But just so calmly sure that they are the right person and they have the right idea, that you may not even get through a quarter of their pitch, and you're like, "I'm in." Like I I'm in. You in. Like I I believe you 100% cuz you know that and you can kind of sense that they've reconciled all of their own fears, all their own insecurities, and then they truly believe that they got the goods. And I think that's somebody weaponizing their belief. That's somebody who has done the hard work to really know themselves, know their product, know what's going on, and they're utilizing belief to convince you far, you know, far more than you know, the documents and everything else. Whereas, you can have somebody else with a great idea who's really insecure and not confident and doesn't believe in themselves, and you'll look at it and like, "Ah, I just don't think it's going to work, you know?" And the same can be said for fighters, right? Cuz fighters that's a very intimate belief detection game. I mean, they're right there at the at the weigh-in staring at each other, and they're right there across from the ring, and I think not enough is talked about about actually believing if you're going to win, because I think the other person can detect that as well. So, Conor McGregor is someone who believes in himself so much that he comes in at 100% belief, and if his, you know, if his opponent is coming in at 99, all of a sudden that 1% difference is going to be a a mountain. It's like, "Wow, he's at 100, like 100% belief? Well, I'm only at 99%. Well, what does he know? Maybe he's right." You know, and so that becomes a weapon for him, and has allowed him to be you know, one of the greatest mixed martial artists in the world. And and you'll see that kind of across the board. So, it's really just using belief to affect reality in a positive way. You've said that practice makes the master. Mhm. The idea of getting to 100% belief is so useful and so powerful. How can people practice? Cuz I know somebody listening right now, they're thinking, "I don't have that belief in myself. Like, I want to come in and do that pitch, or I want to be that kind of fighter, or whatever it is that they're trying to be truly great at." But they don't know how to practice it. They don't know how to cross that chasm. What have you found is usable for practicing belief? Yeah. You know, I talked about this. I actually one of the first big pieces I wrote is a course called Go For Your Win, and I talk about a whole I have a whole chapter on belief and the different forces. And and to sum that up, um I think there's a couple things that that you want to do. For one, you have to really do the work. Like, you have to back it with hard work. You know, and if you ask Conor McGregor, like, what's the secret to his success? Hard work, hard work, hard work. I don't know if he actually works harder than anybody, but he believes he does. You know, he has no doubts in his mind that he's actually working harder. And and that's I think important. So, really making sure that you really do your best to get the goods, you know, and to and to practice that and uh go out there and put yourself out there. And then on the other side, what is the thing what is the antagonist of belief? Well, the antagonist of belief is fear. You know, fear is a belief that something negative is going to happen rather than something positive is going to happen. So, it's like that's on the other side. You're almost believing in your failure, right? Rather than believing in your success. So, you have to go attack and collapse these different fears. And part of that is going to be sucking out the the penalty if if you fail, right? Cuz like a lot of the fear comes because we're afraid that we're going to judge ourselves harshly or whatever. So, you got to realize like there is no such thing as failure. There's just learning, right? So, you collapse the penalty for failure. So, that collapses the fear, which allows you to believe even more. So, that's one way to do it. And the other way is to just look at fear itself and play out the different scenarios, know that you're going to be fine. Again, forgive yourself always. And and really also just attack fear wherever you see it. Even when it's trivial, even when it's some kind of we were just before the before we got on here, we talked about the fear of the number 13, triskaidekaphobia. Like if you're afraid of 13, you know what you need to do? You need to put 13s all over your house. You know, you need to like sit in 13s, you need to go to the 13th, demand to be on the 13th floor of every hotel and every airplane. Cuz you got to get over that because that is telling yourself that there's something irrational that should control you. And if you believe there's something that's irrational that should control you, that will apply universally. So, wherever you find fear specifically that's out of balance with actual danger. Like I'm not saying touch a hot stove or put your hand in a rattlesnake cage. Like there's danger there. That's not fear. But 13, no danger. You know, that's not real. So, go collapse that. If there's a fear of crickets like I have or fear of like whatever it is, collapse fear wherever you see it and that specific collapse will help with the universal collapse of fear in general. What framing device do you use though cuz as you were telling that story in the notion of sucking up the consequence I think is really strong. But, there's a real consequence for you. So, you have a business, employees counting you. Like if you make enough wrong moves, people lose their jobs, they spiral out into panic. Like how do you get to the point where even something like that you're able to say, you know, this this isn't really a life and death consequence? You just got to understand the only thing that you're responsible for is your best. Like you can't do better than your best. You just do your best. And if you try to obsess too much, you're not doing your best, you're going to be paralyzed, right? So, you have to get as much information as you can, make the most educated choice, make sure that you're not choosing based on ego or emotion or, you know, greed or these other forces that delude you and prevent you from thinking clearly. But, if you do your best and you fail, like what are you going to do? Beat yourself up for that? Like that doesn't make any sense. If you're doing your best, if you're really laying it out there, there's nothing nothing more you can do. And and that's I think the that's really the key is just to constantly rest and rely on that fact that I'm just I'm doing my best and there's nothing nothing more than that. I want to go back to what you were saying about fear which I find really interesting and is admittedly amusing that crickets and roaches I think really freak you out. And so, you've talked about immersion therapy. But, now taking it beyond sort of the external things. When you've said when something really stings you, it really upsets you, you know that there's something an insecurity, a fear, or something going on there. What is that process of discovering what it really is that's bothering you look like so that you can remove it. Yeah, I mean I think the first thing that happens is you try to externalize that thing and rationalize other reasons why it's not your own you know, rationalize why this is something that is legitimate, you know, and and you should feel this way and you're justified in your anger and you're justified and and so you have to get through that initial, you know, initial kind of desire to rationalize these things that you're feeling and then just go back to the understanding like, "All right, what can I learn from this? Where where is this touching me? Where I what is the wound that I have that this is activating?" Because ultimately we are responsible for our own reaction to things, you know, we're not responsible for the things themselves. I mean people are going to do messed up things, you know, things that things that hurt, you know, there's going to be random chaotic incidences that are going to be unfortunate in your life, but we're responsible for our action and reaction to those things always. And the strongest reactions are typically coming from places of wound or fear and security. So it's just the practice of really looking at those things and um, you know, that's that kind of deep introspection that requires getting really still and clearing out, you know, your identity as the ego and your identity as the body and then accepting your identity as consciousness as the observer of things. And I I think one of the you know, really tactical ways that I do that is I'll if if I'm angry or upset, I'll go I'll put myself in the third person and say, "Oh, look, the Aubrey is angry right now." Like what's the Aubrey feeling? Why is the Aubrey so angry? Well, the Aubrey's angry because he's scared, you know, he's scared that he's going to lose something or he's scared that this is not going to happen. So it always typically comes back to some kind of fear. And so being objective allows you to kind of look at that stuff. So in the process of exploring um you came across or you've talked about certainly this concept of the warrior ethos. Mhm. Coming from most people, I think I would I would at least presume to understand what they mean, but knowing some of the explorations you've done with the vision questing and um really doing this the high level as you called it um esoteric work of trying to separate yourself from the ego, from the consciousness, all of that. Um what in your world, what is the warrior ethos? I think to me you define a warrior as someone who's willing to do battle with the resistance in their own mind or the parasite of their mind to use the Toltec language. Um and that's someone who's willing to show up and not do battle necessarily externally, but do battle internally and reconcile those things that are not serving them and admit those things and go into the shadow and and be willing to go into your inmost cave, you know, to use the hero's journey language and and find out what dragons lay there and find out where your deepest fears and insecurities are. Like that's that's a a warrior to me. And so the warrior ethos is a commitment to do that. It's a commitment to say, as soon as you see an area where you realize you're out of balance or see an area where there's things that are scary or you're insecure, that you go towards those things, you know, that you don't allow those things to rule you, you know? And I I think it's that willingness to go into the go into the cave and go into the shadow that defines a warrior. And you know, I think that's really key and and ultimately using the desire to be fit for service so that you can be of service is also as the secondary part of the warrior ethos. It's this idea that I have to take care of me so that I can take care of anybody else cuz if you're not taking care of yourself, you're not going to be able to take care of anybody. All right, that's super interesting. So, let's dive into that a little bit. So, if I'm uh I'll I'll reiterate and tell me if I have gotten it wrong in any way. So, the warrior ethos is there's a a darkness in the cave which will say represents the things about myself either that I don't yet fully understand or maybe don't want to understand about myself and going in and looking nakedly uh at my inadequacies. That's definitely me using my own language. Um with the notion that if I can overcome those things will be more of a purity of action which will allow me to then not only help myself, but help other people. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to help you become who you truly are. And that's what's going to ultimately allow you to do the things that are your legacy, that do the things that are going to help the world in the most positive way and help those people, you know, very close to you and also help the people, you know, many ripples away. And uh but it all comes with expressing yourself as the best version of yourself, who you truly are. And you can't do that unless you're willing to, you know, kind of go into the shadow. You've talked I you have an analogy that I think is really powerful. Imagine your favorite video game and it had no dragons for you to slay. Like in life we have this sort of impulse where we want things to be made easier, but in reality would that really serve us in terms of trying to become something better? Uh you seem to have put yourself in arguably the most difficult position in terms of having dragons to slay that will bring things up, which is being in an open relationship uh which I imagine brings up insecurities. I mean, um Yeah. Walk us through what that's like. Um and and do you think having some sort of stress, or obviously not necessarily that, but having a stressor that's forcing you to really identify your insecurities is useful? I do. And I And I think you have to be mindful though that, you know, just like if you go to the gym and you haven't, you know, worked out in a couple years and you load the squat rack with 305, you know, then 315, then it's it's not going to it's not going to be effective. It's going to break you, you know, and I think making sure that you don't add so many stressors that you actually break yourself, that you have time to recover, is important. But, open relationship has certainly been, you know, adding multiple wheels on that squat bar and putting a lot of pressure on a lot of different systems. Like, how much can you love yourself without needing the validation of your lover? Because open relationship, which is allowing and seeing your lover as yourself in a certain way and allowing them to experience love and pleasure and anything that they wish from anybody, you know, as long as it's going to add to both of their lives, right? So, it's not something that's going to be taken away. Like, allowing that to happen removes any sense of specialness, removes any sense of validation that you're getting from your partner and I think that's one of the one of the things that we're most attached to, you know, I mean, our partner is probably our biggest validation dispenser of of anything. That and our job and a few other things, but, you know, they make us feel worthy of love. They make us feel like a man. They make us feel like all of these different things. And when you open the container, you know, all of those things get threatened, you know, and you have to really then focus on knowing yourself beyond that mirror that says that, you know, you're special because they've chosen you and and all of these things. So, it's a it's a very intense but beautiful process because it really ultimately frees you from that feeling that you need somebody else to validate you to be worthy of love. And but it's very painful process, a very painful way to do that. But, I don't think there's anything that would have gotten me through some of the densest aspects of needing to prove my manhood, you know, to be worthy of love, like all of these different programs that open relationship challenges, I don't think I would have been able to get there if I hadn't, you know, gone with that um gone with that container. You also have, clearly in your company, but even in your own life, have been like the king of transformation. Like even looking back on early episodes that you filmed, your physique was totally different. And so, to see how much muscle you've added, and I know what an extraordinary amount of work that takes. So, how do you reconcile the like I'm good where I am with, but it's also okay to want to push and to be more? Exactly like that. You're good where you are, but you could do more. I love you where you are, but you could do more. Like, you're perfect where you are, but you could do more. Right? It seems like a it seems like something that's that doesn't make sense, but it does. You know, you have to really appreciate where you are in the journey and say, "Yeah, where you are is awesome, but you could be better, cuz that's the process is becoming better, right?" So, it's not it's not judging it externally by any other criteria, because every step is good, but the process of striving for more, the process to really unveiling who you are to an even greater degree, to getting cleaner and clearer and more full and more robust and the best version of yourself, like that process is a beautiful process. I think it's one of the reasons why we're here. It feels the best. It feels the best to be continuing on the path, but that doesn't mean that you look forward to a point in the path and say, "When I get there, I'll love myself. When I get there, I'll have made it." Like, love yourself where you are, wherever you are. That's awesome, but still strive for more, because the striving is the journey. It's always the striving. One thing that you mentioned um I forget if it was if it was in your book or just in a talk that I heard was in the Toltec tradition, there's the notion of the Nagual? Nagual. Nagual, thank you. Um talk to us about that because I find that incredibly fascinating. Yeah, they they make a differentiation between the person who's the artist and kind of the canvas, haha, you could say. You know, so the artist is an artist painting the masterpiece of their life. They're holding the brush. They decide how they want to make themselves, forge themselves. They decide how they want to express, what they want to what they want to be or how they want to interact with this incredible, you know, school of life that we have available to us. And then the other side is there's people who are just constantly getting paint splattered on them from other people, their parents telling, "Oh, you should be this or you should do this or this is what you need to be. This is what how you need to look. This is how you need to dress. This is what" and they're just receiving all of this external pressure from what the Toltecs would call the Mitote, which is like a term for the marketplace where everybody's shouting and their expectations, their beliefs, their, you know, their agreements, all the things that they have that kind of we can either conform to or decide, "No, no, no. Screw all that. I'm the artist. I will decide what I accept. Maybe I agree with this perception. Maybe I disagree with this perception." But you take control of your life. And the Nagual is a a place of control where you're shaping your own life with the power of your intent, with the power of your belief, with the power of choice and actual free will rather than being just kind of battered around by everything that society and and people want you to be. You've said that we should be thinking of choice as a superpower, which I thought was really cool. What do you mean? How is choice a superpower? It's funny because if we were able to do like even a fraction of the things we know we should, we would all be badasses, you know? But there's so many things and you talk to people, yeah, I should be doing that. Yeah, I should be doing I know I should be doing I should be meditating. Yeah, I know I should be doing this. I should be eating better. I should be doing this. And we all know what we want to do to be the best version of ourself, but for whatever reason we don't do it, you know? And there's a lot of reasons why, but we're not doing it. And so the ability to choose and actually decide what you're going to do to be the nagual, to be the art and say, oh, well, if I believe I should meditate, then I'll meditate. And just collapsing that I know I should with actually doing it, you know, that is a superpower. That's what defines the greatest performers from the people who haven't quite made it yet. It's really their ability to say, oh, if I should train now, I will. Oh, if I should eat like this, I will. Oh, if I should do this, okay, then I will. It's collapsing that, knowing what knowing what you should do and actually doing it and making that one. And that's ultimately a choice. You told a really cool story. It's wonderfully controversial. So let's get a little controversial. You heard somebody giving a speech. They were a former opiate addict. Yep. And had a pretty awesome answer for how to stop doing opiates. Yeah. Yeah, he goes and it's a room full of psychologists mostly and psychiatrists. And he goes up there on stage and um he was a war veteran, got addicted to opiates and um he says, you know, there's a lot of talk about how to how to quit from opiates. You want to tell you know, let me tell you the best way. You put that bottle of pills on the counter and you don't take another pill. And it was like you could have heard a pin drop in that room right there. But ultimately, you know, while that that's not going to be an easy path, that is a path that's available. Like that is a choice. Like there is nothing that is controlling your hand to open that bottle, to put that pill in your mouth. Like you have the will in order to do that. And I think a lot of different talk in society talks about, you know, we'll try and rob you of that. Oh, no, no, it's it's a disease. You have no control. Like yeah, it's going to be hard, but you have control of your body, of your mind. Like and we have to remind people that we do have control and that we are able to do these things. You know, he's not he's not like born with some special muscle that allows him to do that that other people aren't. Like we have the ability to tap into that superpower of choice, that superpower of free will. Not going to be easy. As the mind will play a billion different tricks and rationalizations and whatever, but ultimately we are in control. You know, as I said, I'm not saying it's easy. And I'm not saying it's the best strategy. You know, I think you got to be fair and say like, oh, I can't do that. Well, if you can't do that, use use other methods, you know. Do what you need to do to be effective, but know that you do have that power. We all have that power. We have the power to to have the agency to make those type of choices. Do you have a method for people to use to strengthen that muscle? Yeah, it's what I call mental override. And one of the ways I talk about in my book is to take the cold shower. There's a ton a ton of benefits in taking a cold shower. But it's hard. You know, like you're going to build cold shock proteins, you're going to drop cortisol, you're going to, you know, raise norepinephrine, you're going to drop inflammation. It's going to actually change the state of your body both short-term and long-term for greater health. You're going to feel better. Period. If you take a cold shower. But it's going to be uncomfortable. So, how do you practice doing the uncomfortable thing that's going to be beneficial? How do you practice taking that nozzle from nice toasty warm comfortable hot to cold? Well, you do it. And you do it over and over and over again until it becomes not even a choice. It's not even an option. You don't look at it and debate with yourself and argue with yourself, well, should I should I well, is it really going to be that good? Maybe I'll do it tomorrow. Well, you just don't do that anymore. It's like, mhm bang. Here it comes. You know, and that's the way that you practice you practice that, you know, and then the more you practice that, again, practice makes master. Yeah, that the cold shocking, the just um now go do it, I think is the title of that for you, which I think is really really powerful. Um real fast before we begin our wrap-up process, what are some really tactical stuff that you think people really miss that they should be doing to live that optimal day? So, first of all, everybody knows that if you're stressed out, take a deep breath. Well, don't take one deep breath, take six. And this is something I talk about a lot. The research from a Japanese study shows that six deep breaths are what it takes to actually create state change. So, start practicing that. You get flustered, you get emotional, don't take a breath, just take six. Use that mental override to take six damn breaths and really start to unplug from that. And then use use the cold. You know, use the cold as an ally. Use that to practice mental override, use that to reduce inflammation, use that practice. I think that's something that's really important. Um making sure you stay hydrated. I talk about the morning mineral cocktail. I think a lot of us we go from caffeine to all these different other substances and foods and whatever and a lot of us are running chronic dehydration and not only dehydration from water, but the minerals and electrolytes that you need, so adding in some sea salt or some Himalayan salt in with your water uh is going to be effective. I wake up every morning, 16 oz of water, Himalayan sea salt, about 3 g of that and a splash of lemon. Um that's something that's really important. Finding some way to practice mindfulness. So, finding that way to get to mental stillness I think is really important. Knowing your body enough to know, all right, this is what happens when I have a bunch of sugar, you know, I feel good for the second, then the insulin kicks in, and then I go hypoglycemic, and then I feel exhausted, and then I reach for more coffee. Like, you got to have insight into those cycles and understand what's going to be best for you. And knowing you knowing yourself with training, knowing what movement patterns help, knowing how your body feels and reacts. Um you know, getting your head and your ego out of your sex life so it can be a way to really engage with your partner in a way that creates deeper connection and allows you to be mindful, be present, you know, be in the big now. Um sleeping, taking naps, you know, I think that's one thing that a lot of people miss. They think that you have to get all your sleep overnight in this uninterrupted 8 hours. So, good luck. Like, I don't know anybody who gets uninterrupted 8 hours. Maybe one or two people, but for the most of us, you know, we're going to get what we can at night, but then feel free to take a nap or what Nick Littlehales in his book Sleep calls a controlled recovery period, 30 minutes where you just kind of zone out and allow yourself to recover. Um and then, of course, on the on the other side it's a lot of the other things we talked about, but ultimately, you know, trust that you got to forgive yourself. You know, forgive yourself for everything that's happened in the past, understand that you're not the same person that you were then. You're the person who's learned from all those things. You know, Heraclitus has a quote, "No man steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river. It's not the same river, and he's not the same man." You know, we're we're different at any different moment, and we can decide to be different. We can decide to have listened to this and change something or change everything or change whatever. We have that ability. We have way more power than we recognize and what people will tell us that we have. So, stepping into that power and deciding for ourselves what we want to do with it. I love that. All right, before I ask my last question, tell these guys where they can find you. Yeah, Instagram is a great place to follow me. So, it's just @aubreymarcus on Instagram and I do a lot of my philosophical deep dives and really go into a lot of this on my podcast, the Aubrey Marcus Podcast. So, um those are the two best places to connect with me, Instagram @aubreymarcus, Aubrey Marcus Podcast. And of course, you know, we got Facebook and if you're interested in the tools of human optimization, Onnit's great for all that. Um but to connect with me personally, those are the best places. Very cool. All right, my last question, what is the impact that you want to have on the world? I really feel like I'm here to be a bridge. And my job is to be a bridge and and that job is to bridge the spiritual crowd and let them know that yeah, it's fun to party and have sex and work out really hard. Like that's all good, too. That's part of life. And then bridge the people who just want to party and have sex and work out and crush it and be successful and say, "Oh yeah, but there's this other part. It's your spiritual self. It's understanding who who you truly are and being able to be still and find love and compassion and allow people to bridge both sides so that hopefully more people can have that balanced approach where you're not denying the pleasures and fun of this game of life that we get to play, but you're also not ignoring who we truly are as as spiritual entities. And I think if I can be a bridge and bring people, you know, back towards that truly holistic side, um then I think I've, you know, done my job well. Awesome. Aubrey, thank you so much, man, for being on the show. That was great. Guys, when I say fascinating does not even begin to cover it, I mean it. Dive into this guy's world. What's so interesting to me is he really is showing the new version of the modern entrepreneur. Somebody that isn't just trying to sell product, but instead is building product around something that they really believe in. That to the core of who they are, their company starts anyway as a pure reflection of where they are and where they want to go and building a community and creating products that serve that is truly extraordinary and watching him put so much energy into creating content that invites people along his journey and the raw way that he shares is really credible and it it's it's not possible to see in just one interview, but when you take it in in totality, when you read the blog post, when you listen to the podcast, when you look at things that he was doing 5, 6 years ago and that it's all still out there and you can watch him go on the journey and share insecurities and share difficult things that he went through and talk about being in an open relationship and talk about struggles with the business and what it means to fire somebody who you love and care about and have compassion for and what that moment's like and how you engage with it. It's really extraordinary and when you take all of that together, it really creates the compendium to his book which shows you what it looks like in a single day, but when you take all of his content in as a gestalt, it shows you what that looks like as an entire life. It's really interesting and it hints at where we're going to be as a society 10, 15 years from now. Will you be able to watch someone like Aubrey go for 15 or 20 years? It's pretty remarkable when they're willing to share at the level that he's willing to share. You won't regret it. Go check it out. I think you guys will be blown away. He can take you from just raw tactics all the way through to that notion of transcending the ego. It's pretty amazing. All right, if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe and until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care. Aubrey, thank you, my friend. Thank you so much for watching and being a part of this community. If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. 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