Why The Narcissist Needs To Destroy You At The End!

Why the narcissist needs to destroy you at the end. Why is the narcissist so cruel when they're discarding you? Why are they so evil at the end? Why can't they just be normal? Why can't they just be nice? Why can't they just break up like a normal nice person would? That's what we're talking about today. If you're new here, I am an AR survivor and I am a narcissist expert. I have been making videos here on YouTube for nearly 8 years. In that time, I have brought awareness and clarity to millions of people around the world. I'd really appreciate it if you could give this video a thumbs up as it supports my work and it helps me to continue doing what I do. If you need more support, you're welcome to book a one-on-one consultation with me, which you can do by going to nosurvivor.co.uk. Now, let's get into it. Cruelty at the end of a relationship is actually one of the hallmark signs, a distinct quality that really reveals that you were dealing with a narcissist. It's their signature trait, their official stamp, their calling card, if you like. It's intended to intimidate you, but it's simultaneously something that lets you know what you're dealing with. So, it's kind of a punishment and also a confirmation at the same time, especially if they are the ones discarding you. If they are the perpetrators of this breakup, when a narcissist discards their victim, they typically do it in a cruel and vicious way. And you may wonder what you did wrong. what made them this way? But it's because when they experience a breakup, when the two of you have to part ways, they [music] understand that something is wrong. And deep down, they know they're not playing with a full deck, regardless of how they try to rearrange it or portray it to you. They know that you weren't satisfied. They know that they weren't good enough for you. So, their ego takes a hit. Their pride, self-esteem, self-importance. They feel criticized. They feel like they have failed, like they have been rejected. Even if they are the ones who are discarding you because why did they have to discard you? Why couldn't they fix things? Why couldn't they be better? And these are the thoughts that keep going around in their heads. Regardless of how they try to justify it or of how they try to portray it to you, it's still the underlying theme. And it's why that's exactly what they try to project onto you. It's always about you not being good enough or you getting the short end of the stick for that reason. Because that's what it always comes down to. It's that they couldn't live up to your expectations. They couldn't be who you wanted them to be and who they led you to believe that they were. And that is the injury right there. That is the narcissistic injury. And that is why the more you try to love them and make things better and the more you try to beg and plead for them to change, the more that they hate you. Because it's just a reminder to them of how they can't do that. You can go the extra mile for them, but they can't go the extra mile for you. So whatever way they look at it, the fact is that they are the ones who fell short. They are the ones who failed to perform for you. And there's just no ifs and buts about it. There's no excuses, conditions, doubts, or objections. And by the end of it, you just become the enemy. You become a representation of an attack on their self-image, their character. So, by that point, they've really got an infigure because they're left feeling like they're broken, like something is wrong with them. Because the question remains at the end of the day, why couldn't they do for you what you did for them? So, you've shattered their ego. You've annihilated their sense of self-importance. Because if they're so great and wonderful, then why aren't they something wonderful for you? Why aren't they pleasant and enjoyable? It creates this dissonance and that's what they're fighting against. These two polarities of them being perfect and of them being flawed. And they respond to it by raging out by losing their minds and by trying to make you feel like you're worthless or you're the blater or abuser or the controlling one. Because by painting you as bad, crazy, or no good, that's how they defend themselves against it. It's what helps them to keep their ego intact and to maintain their self-esteem, identity, and psychological stability, which is why they typically become so toxic and evil at the end because they're losing control. And they don't want whoever comes after them to have control over what they once thought was theirs, what once belonged to them. When they lose control, they don't want anyone else to have it. They have to make sure that you are broken or destroyed because that will help their ego by knowing that you are hurt or that you are going through something. But if they are the one who discards you, they need to make sure that they are making the right decision. because they do not want to leave with a sense of regrets as though they have lost out on something. They need to make sure that they look at you as broken, as unhealed, as pathetic, as a downgrade, or as a piece of garbage. Because if they walk away and they're still seeing you as something valuable, they're not going to be able to deliver themselves or feel good about themselves or be able to enjoy anything in their life. So they have to make sure that they look at you as someone who is a burden, someone who is crazy, someone who is unstable. And that is why they try to break you at the end. They provoke you. They try to get you to react. They try to get you to cry, beg, and plead for them because they need to look at you in a different light. They need to validate themselves that they are making the right decision. So they have to humiliate you. They have to make you look pathetic so that they can rewrite the narrative in their mind. And they won't always be yelling and screaming at you. It won't always be directed at you. They may start doing things to you through other people. They may start a smear campaign and start spreading rumors about you. They may start telling people lies about what happened in the relationship because this is what they have to do to stop themselves from feeling angry, upset, or even excited about you. They have to rewrite the narrative. They have to tell themselves a story. And they have to go around and tell everyone about it so that it feels even more believable to them. And then they can regain their emotional control. They won't be so worked up as they might normally be by thinking that they lost out on something that was actually good for them. And when they tell people these stories about you, people won't even come to you. They will just believe that you're an abuser. And that might really irritate you because they didn't even come to you. They didn't even question you directly. They didn't even ask you for your side of the story. They just believe the narcissist, the person who actually abused you, lied to [music] you, or cheated on you. But they won't always use the smear campaign. Sometimes they will just threaten you directly or they will threaten you through other people. They will threaten to expose you. They will threaten to blackmail you. And they may even bring the new supply into play. And it's all done just to make you look weak and pathetic so that they don't have to feel regrets. And they can tell themselves that it's you who needs them. And then they can continue with their new supply without a sense of loss, without grief, without anguish or torment. And that is why they will often compare you to the new supply. They will say the new supply treats them so much better than you do. They will make it all about how you just weren't good enough for them. You were the problem. You were something they had to get rid of. And it becomes the highlight of their story because they really have a lot to prove to themselves so that they can move on without feeling like they lost something because you really were it. You were probably the best opportunity they ever had. And that's why they become so mean and cruel at the end. And then they go and they inflate the value of the new supply. They exaggerate it. They make it seem like this is the most amazing relationship because they want to make you feel bad and they want you to believe it so that it makes it more believable for them. And then they can continue existing in this makebelieve world where there's fairies and unicorns and everything's fine when really they're miserable inside. and they're holding a grudge against you. They resent you for all the good things that you have. And that is why they are constantly trying to take it away from you because they see just how good you are and they can't stand it. They just want to destroy you for it. And sometimes they don't even have a new supply. They're lying because they just want you to feel bad. So, they will compare you to someone who doesn't even exist, or they will compare you to the new supply or their ex, but they're still lying. The truth is, they've never encountered anyone as good as you, and they probably never will, but they will never reveal that to you, and they will never act appropriately based on your value because they already know that they're no good for you. So, what's the point of them acting all happy and excited to be with you if they haven't got anything to bring to the table anyway? And this is what builds up inside of them as the relationship progresses until by the end of it they really want to break you. But because their goal is to inflict maximum damage to you, of course, they're going to lie about a lot of the things to you. They're not going to tell you the truth. Because while the truth about you is enough to shatter their ego in tight fragments, their truth is not going to have any pronounced effect on you. It's just something you would laugh at and they know it. So they sugarcoat it. They make it seem like something that is not. They lie about what they're doing, who they're with, and where they're going next. They pretend because they're trying to mentally live up to what's they once had with you. They're trying to make their new life seem like it compares to it when the truth is that what they had with you was like a real life fantasy. It has become something they can only dream of now. And yet they threw it away so easily. And this is the reality for many narcissists after a certain amount of time. They will brutally discard you. They will call you fat or ugly. And they will say that this new person is so much better than you. And they're talking about having children. But then if you actually go to the new supply and you ask them about it, they usually won't know what you're talking about because narcissists like to create these fantasies, especially after they know they've already had something better, something that they're never going to get again. So all of these things that they're telling you to try to hurt your feelings, you typically won't ever see any evidence of it because they're just stories that they have had to create to make you feel bad, to make you feel like you're not as good as you actually are. They projected their own feelings of jealousy and envy onto you. And because you really were someone who they could work with and be with and someone who was actually good for them, you identified with it and you started to believe that that's just how it is and that's just who you are. Not because you're a bad person, but because you're good. So they will keep lying. They will keep telling you these stories and it may work on you. It may keep you believing in things that aren't true. But the spell will break [snorts] once you realize that they are delusional. once you realize that they are creating these fanfictions in their heads about these new relationships. So when they're being cruel to you at the Gent, it's not about you. It's just about themselves and their own ego. It's about them sustaining their own fragile self-esteem and their false sense of identity. It's about their narcissistic supply and validation. It's not about you. So try not to take it personally and instead recognize that this is just a further example of who they really are. And if they come back, they will do it again and the cycle will continue. I hope this video was helpful for you today. If it was, please show your support by giving it a thumbs up and check out these videos next.