“Why Successful Comedians Can Become So Boring” - Whitney Cummings

you said this other thing I listened to you say this other thing I thought was so [ __ ] interesting you said in order for art to imitate life you have to have a life that's it and this is definitely something that I see in high Achievers High performers people that are sort of on that grind where the creativity and the space that they had to be able to think about whatever it is that they're going to do whether it's business or career moves or writing or an online coaching platform that they're trying to start or content creation or whatever uh and after a while you take up so much of your days doing that thing that the font uh like the pool from which you withdraw in order to be able to present [ __ ] is just Barren it's dry that's it that's exactly it I mean you see it with comedians all the time you see these great comedians amazing observational comedians they get more and more famous more and more successful all they're doing is touring and then all of a sudden they're only doing jokes about airplanes cuz they're only on airplanes you know or they like have nothing to talk about because they don't do anything I remember I was in a writer's room for a sitcom that I made and I was running three shows at one time three television shows which was very you know taxing was working all weekend you know 20 hours a day not sleeping and we're in the writer's room and I'm like we need to pitch on like something that the couple does like on a weekend and someone was like oh what if they like went to a wine tasting and I was like no one goes to a wine tasting and then like what if she like had to go to a baby shower I'm like no one goes to a baby and they're like no Whitney you don't go to a b like you don't have a you know and I realized like I was limiting myself and how you know I'm like well what if like they're at work and this happened like I could only pitch on workaholism like and every character was all of a sudden a workaholic I you know and so to me it's like you know especially being you know a standup comedian I'm like I got to go out in the world and I got to do things and that doesn't mean be mercenary when you do because there are times where I'm like I really have to do something social this week and I'll call friends and I'll be like can you guys make sure I don't turn this dinner into work or turn a hobby into a business because that's the other thing is that I'll get a hobby and then I'll turn into a business yeah you know what I mean spin this thing up and sell it I'll start knitting and I'm like oh this will be good merch I'm like no can't do that you know an idea I came up with for that called productivity Purgatory so it's one of the things that you do for fun and done purely to like you go for a walk in nature not because you want to calm down and just have a good time but because you once saw an Andrew hubman podcast that says your productivity increases by 15% if you spend 20 minutes a day with sunlight in the eyes or whatever like productivity Purgatory everything that you do is in service of this of this thing I literally got the Apple watch because the phone is just a camera at a certain point and I would go on these hikes and then I would be like I got to do a video about there's a plant and I got to do a bit with the I'm like nope I got to just not even bring my phone with me on walks anymore because I will find a way to make a Tik Tok or or I'll be writing down a I'm like I got to just like you know so I really have to play defense on that because I will slip into that workaholic [ __ ] or I mean just being on a date with a guy and being like that's not a just stop nope that's not a joke you're just in the moment and you're not going to make write a scene you're not going to get a movie idea you're just going to be in this moment you know and I think that for people that do all kinds of things it's not even just creators if you're someone that's like building an app or this you have to go out in the world and see how people behave and see what they do and you got to like go to the zoo is basic I call it going to the zoo you got to go out to a restaurant and see like okay I'm I'm building my my whoop band okay people usually wear it on the left side would you know you just have to like be in the world and I I I didn't I always thought that socializing doing things that were fun were like a waste of time or that I was falling behind you know um but now I know that it's like an integral part about being creative and staying relevant and it's good to have fun every now and then like you've earned it I think that I used to operate from such a place of like guilt and you're such a piece of [ __ ] and you're never going to make it and that served me really well it just doesn't serve me anymore yeah this I've got this idea about uh fuel that you use that kind of a fuel that very uh anxious sort of toes toes down for forward thing is potent for probably about 5 or 10 years but toxic if you use it for much longer than that I'm also big my new thing is doing nothing okay how do you how are you getting on with doing nothing it's weird I mean a lot of times it's kind of just like sitting outside and just I get to look at nature chilling but there's just no such thing as doing nothing I think being around hes wouldn't class because that's still doing something if I'm well that's still counts as doing something probably a little bit but doing nothing next to a horse they really like you uh Dr k uh healthy gamer he's a a psychiatrist psychotherapist eastern and western trained and he helps with young people that have got um screen addictions gaming addictions he also works with some of the biggest twitch streamers on the planet he's done with every big twitch streamer xqc and and Charlie from penguin zero and all that stuff and um one of his exercises that he gets his like Discord group to do is stare at the wall for 30 minutes and some of the things that apparently people break break down crying it starts screaming at the wall you're like dude it's staring at a I haven't done it I haven't [ __ ] i d do it I don't know if I'm going to it would be a total fever dream I don't know what's going to go on I It's tricky because I I was almost too embarrassed to say it uh but a lot of times I end up crying if you're just like being alone with yourself because you're like what's what am I running from What feelings am I trying to not feel what thoughts am I trying to not have or what comes up when I stop anesthetizing with busyness with action with productivity right and it might just be like you know that agent that did like it's right there it's right there oh that person that said that thing or that YouTube comment like it's right there and to go like okay this is stuff I need to work through this is stuff that I'm carrying this is stuff that I need to purge this is someone I need to forgive like this is something like a Mal I'm that I'm um trying to get a feeling I'm trying to get out of right that is haunting me or it's something that's taking up real estate in my brain brain that has no business being there that if I don't feel this feeling it's just going to you know alchemize into something unhealthy anger at someone else or some kind of shame or [ __ ] so it's like it's like I kind of sit there and sometimes have to feel my feelings and a lot of times it's shame it's cringe it's God why did you say that thing to that person you know sometimes it's to forgive myself whatever it is but like you know there was um I don't know if you ever saw that show cheer on Netflix no it's about the best cheerleading uh it's such a great documentary about the best cheerleading team uh in the country uh Nao it's actually in Texas the coach is incredible it's so great such an amazing show it's about you know these cheer they work wasn't there a big Scandal there was a scandal one of the guys send some texts he shouldn't ass sent and ask for some photos he shouldn't ask for but it's still incredibly inspiring it will inspire you not to send those DMS um and to never never DM somebody without having seen their driver's license um and uh and why am I bringing it up why am I bringing it up oh so one of the girls on it they all got really famous off of it the show was really big and this girl is just like 18 years old famous cheerleader you know she's getting all these brand deals she all of a sudden has four million followers from being on this Netflix show being this you know athlete and I'm in uh in Austin with some friends and we go see they do this live show and I you know the show came out like a year and a half ago and I asked her I was like so what didn't you do this summer and she was like oh I'm going to take a couple months off just to you know process and I was like what she's like I just need to like process all this and I was like I don't get like I it I didn't know know what she was I was like oh yeah I need to schedule time to process things I've never thought about that before and it made me start to take time every week to just process what happened so I uh I'm incorporating in America it's taken ages cuz your guys' tax system and legal system and everything I only got social security number two months ago anyway um started working with accountancy firm so I've kind of got got a parttime CFO part-time CFO [ __ ] all he does is finances and I was at dinner with him a couple of nights ago and he said yeah every Friday I just have the entire day to think like yo you live on XL like what thinking is that it's just numbers in numbers out like am I doing deals has this person paid their taxes blah blah blah like what thinking is there to do and the accountant guy the head of this accountancy firm is like yeah I spend every Friday just thinking obviously that's a luxurious position to be in but like the rule I think is right I used to I used to have this uh um again another problem you guys to have a license equivalency between the US and the UK which means I need to take my theory test my theory driving test again in Texas a place that has by far the worst drivers I've ever seen in my life and I've been to Rome right so I I I have to do that again but I used to love when I was back home really great hack sorry we don't give half of our money to a queen yeah that's true well she's anymore oh yes uh it's a it's a tough day um sorry our our our leaders aren't born into Power yeah if you had a genetic pull about that big sorry we don't have inbred mascots running our country okay all right okay there we there we go I'm sure you're going to need to sell some tickets in the I'm kidding I'm kidding yeah I know love you guys love you guys.com yeah um driving the car with no music or podcast on W what a [ __ ] like wow what a crazy thing you know what I mean what comes up and it's great because you've got the front of your it's like doing nothing when you're washing the dishes your front of the brain is nice and nice and occupied and the rest of the brain is just free to do its thing really great really great I do have a a tool that really works for me where I schedule worrying about things and schedule worrying about things I schedule worrying about things so it's like if it's like I have to make this decision about whether I'm going to do this thing or not say the deadline is November 12th I'll go okay November 10th and I'll put it in my calendar I'll say 10:00 a.m. to this I'll worry about it instead of just constantly perseverating it until about it until then I will just schedule when I'm going to worry about it do you do that with somebody do you find it's easiest to worry in with a right hand or with a like if I know I need to run something by someone I'll go like hey like come and worry with me yeah can you come can we go panic together or if I'm like because it gives me time to also go who are the best people to reach out and ask about this like I feel like it's also your life starts getting better when you know who to ask advice from you know again go to married people to ask Rel advice you know podcast go to someone who knows what they're talking about you know so for me it's also instead of just talking about it to everyone all the time and getting bad advice from people getting sort of mixed data just constantly worrying about something I'll go like you have two hours to worry about this in 3 weeks and then I also will schedule making decisions about things I get really bad decision fatigue so it's like we were just talking about like making decisions about you know sponsors and stuff like that you know I can go like okay I'm going to make this decision on this date at this time I'm not going to think about it until then but this is when I'm going to schedule thinking about it and so that's like I think a version that works for me of what your CFO kind of did and I'll put it in my calendar it's like and then I can't talk I'm like I can't talk for the next hour I have to think about this thing busy worrying yeah I'm busy worrying or I'm busy doing my pro and con list but instead of just constantly worrying about five or six different things all the time I will schedule it and that really helps and then I now schedule processing cuz like there are times where you look back you're like why did I say yes to that what was I thinking oh I just automatically said yes I just went into my default software you know like which we do it's like you move into a new house like you're going to drive to your old house for the for for like a couple months just for like habit you know so to me yes I have the if it's not a hell yes it's a no I have like posted notes all over my desk that are like the answer is probably going to be but sometimes I'll just [ __ ] say yes and I'm like why did I do that like and I'll just go through I'll go through my calendar that's a big thing is like I'll sit down and like really get thoughtful about my calendar and be like I need to cut 30% of this out yeah period in the end yeah there's a a couple of interesting things that if you find yourself continuing to say yes to stuff and then when it comes around regretting the past version of you that made future you go to this thing when you get asked again ask yourself if this was tomorrow would I say yes because we you know there's this um hyperbolic discounting so like you one pound tomorrow is worth2 in a year's time in the way that we see it and the same is kind of true with what you're prepared to oblige yourself to go and do it's like uh something that you'd say no to tomorrow you feel a little bit more okay saying yes to for six months but I first of all take a good look at yourself and make sure first you're not addicted to dread which I think wow Jesus which I believe I was right number one and number two I would go oh well I have nothing that day yeah it's three and a half months away this is better than nothing that's what I'm saying about this plan okay I have nothing that day busy addiction but why don't I want to do nothing why am I like I got to do this thing cuz otherwise I do nothing and then oh God I'd be alone with one of my thoughts let's just fill it with something you know like what are you really saying when you agree to a plan that you don't want to do or you're kind of like ah about like I'll do it like how little do you respect yourself and how little do you respect your time you know that you're saying yes to that like I really had to look at that and then I didn't go like well by then and then the lack of faith in yourself like what if I have a person by then what if I'm going to need to be making dinner for my guy that or going to the farmers market that day like I need to hold that day cuz what I'm saying is my life's not going to be any better by this day and the best I can do is this [ __ ] thing where I don't even really want to do it like what a what a wildly um 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