Video summary
The video investigates the conspicuous absence of overweight individuals in popular Netflix dating reality shows such as *Love is Blind*, *Too Hot to Handle*, and *The Ultimatum*. The host, Chris from The Rewired Soul, points out that despite the massive number of plus-sized people in the United States and globally, casting directors consistently select only conventionally attractive contestants. This exclusion creates a strange narrative where these shows present an unrealistic world devoid of body diversity, effectively erasing a significant portion of the population from mainstream media representation while simultaneously promoting stories about insecurity and self-discovery that feel disconnected from reality for many viewers.
The host critiques the explanations offered by show hosts like Vanessa Lachey, who suggest that plus-sized contestants often fail to progress past the initial "pod" stage due to deep-seated insecurities or fear of rejection. Chris argues that this reasoning is flawed because it ignores the fact that no overweight individuals ever make it to the later stages where couples are seen together, vacation, or get engaged. He posits that if body positivity were truly a priority, casting directors would ensure diverse bodies reached those milestones; instead, the complete lack of representation suggests an active bias in the selection process rather than a natural outcome of contestant behavior. The video highlights that even shows featuring long-term couples or hookup culture exclude larger people, reinforcing the harmful stereotype that plus-sized individuals are not desirable partners or participants in casual dating scenarios.
Furthermore, the transcript explores how these reality shows perpetuate implicit biases by linking weight with moral character and work ethic, a phenomenon known as lookism. The host shares his personal struggle with this issue, noting that he often avoids placing his own face in video thumbnails due to fear that viewers will not click on content featuring a larger person. He contrasts the exclusion seen on dating shows with other Netflix productions like *The Circle*, which successfully feature diverse body types and even have plus-sized winners, proving that such representation is possible within the same corporate ecosystem. The discussion concludes that while society pressures everyone with conventional beauty standards, the media industry must take responsibility for stopping the erasure of overweight people from narratives about love and relationships.
Read the full video transcript
I don't know about you but one of my
guilty pleasures is watching these
Netflix dating shows like Love is Blind
too hot to handle the ultimatum there
was this new one called dated and
related which was kind of strange but if
you watch those two I don't know if
you've noticed this but when you look at
the entire past of characters
there's not a single person on there
who's overweight and I wanted to kind of
talk about that today what might be
going on and why that's an issue so for
those of you who are new here hi welcome
I'm Chris make sure you subscribe to my
channel I make a ton of wonderful videos
talking about different topics that I
find interesting try to understand human
behavior see what's going on yeah for
those of you who are long-term
subscribers welcome back and you might
notice hey hey Chris you're back on
camera well for this specific video due
to the subject matter I wanted to make
sure I was on camera so you could soak
it all in so just
get it all in there all right because
today we're going to be talking about
lookism and what's going on with these
Netflix reality shows so this has kind
of become a little bit of a joke in my
household because my girlfriend and I we
love watching this but every single time
we notice that on all of these reality
TV shows every single person who gets
cast is conventionally attractive right
like you could take anybody from any of
these series just pluck them out and
turn them into an Instagram model well I
guess if we're being honest most of them
already are Instagram models and this is
just really strange there's so many
overweight people uh in the United
States even around the world what's
going on why aren't these people on
there well Vanessa Lachey actually did
an interview a few months back and this
is actually when I wanted to make this
video because I read that and it was
just kind of infuriating what the
response was because she she tries to to
make it seem like to all about
inclusivity and body positivity but
here's what she had to say about why
there's no overweight people on love is
blind or any of these other shows so
real quick for those of you who are
unaware the way this show is kind of
formatted is that love is supposed to be
blind so the contestants don't see each
other they put the men and women in
separate plots and all they're able to
do is talk to each other then after you
know x amount of dates of them talking
to one another they decide if they want
to get married the guy gets down on 1B
he proposes to the woman through the
wall they've never seen each other then
there's a big reveal they see each other
they get together then they go on their
merry little way and I think it's like
six weeks and they have to make the
decision to get married or not they go
to the Altar and that's when the whole
intense moment happens you don't know if
the man's gonna say yes you don't know
if the woman's gonna say yes because of
course putting two people together in
this high pressure situation to get
married after just a few weeks after not
even billing each other there's a lot of
times when it just doesn't work out but
obviously this is set up kind of like
the voice you don't see the other person
so the premise of the show is that looks
are not what Matt right you're
connecting with a person's the
personality their soul who they are
right so in this recap of the interview
from insider.com it says she said she
often wonders if some contestants don't
make it past the Pod stage of the
experiment because they feel quote
unquote insecure and don't have enough
time to make meaningful connections well
their whole life they've been so
insecure about being themselves because
of this crazy swipe generation that we
are in and this catfishing world that
we're in that they're so afraid to be
themselves let's say a set of
contestants who may not believe they fit
into conventional Beauty standard so
this would make some sense if we saw a
bigger men or bigger women in the Pod
stage but they were very nervous the
entire time they're just so nervous
service because they were afraid that
when this person sees them they will not
be attracted to them but the issue is
that we never see bigger men or women
even make it to the plant so the article
goes on to say this Lachey acknowledged
that many couples who moved past the Pod
stage fit into conventional beauty
standards she's not a part of the
casting process but she said she knows
that love is blind and Netflix give
people with diverse bodies a quote fair
shot as far as casting them on the show
well I wonder if they truly don't have
enough time in those two weeks to find
themselves and then be themselves to
find that spouse she said no one on the
show controls who gets engaged so that
is part of the reason why we don't see
more physically diverse contestants move
on to the stage of the show where they
go on vacation with their Partners
Vanessa as my father used to say I was
born at night but it wasn't last night
okay so Vanessa doesn't control the cast
and who gets on the show so again and
this would make sense if people actually
made it to that stage of the plot
because with these shows a bunch of
people apply to get on sometimes they
send in their little casting videos and
things like that then they're selected
and these groups are narrowed down
narrowed doubts to whoever they think
will be best for television and they put
them in there but people aren't even
making it to the stage where they're not
being seen by their future or
potentially future husband or wife do
you see what I mean so there's something
going on where there are blocking bigger
men and bigger women from making it to
that stage but the thing is it's not
just love is gone so on the show the
ultimatum they bring in couples they
bring in couples who have been together
for a long time and the man or the woman
doesn't want to pull the trigger to get
engaged get married have kids and all
that kind of stuff there isn't one
couple on there that is not
conventionally attractive and this show
is also hosted by Nick and Vanessa
Lachey so that doesn't make sense either
why did they not cast any bigger couples
on it then look at a show like too hot
to handle okay this is taking a bunch of
sexy singles these guys and these girls
they get tricked and going to this place
they think it's going to be some kind of
other reality show but the whole thing
is like you got all you do is hook up
and you don't want a serious
relationship so when you're here you can
win money by just not hooking up by not
doing anything sexual again there is not
one single bigger man or bigger woman
okay and again this doesn't make sense
are we saying that there are no big
people who go out there and just party
and hook up and don't want a serious
relationship because anybody out there
who I don't know is alive you know that
that's not the case but I guess let me
roll that back a little because one of
the reasons we're talking about this is
because Netflix is perpetuating a
stereotype that bigger men and bigger
women just aren't you know quote unquote
too hot to handle that nobody is
attracted these people so therefore it
must be impossible that any bigger men
or bigger women are out there just in
hookup culture because who would want to
hook up with one of these people so
although Netflix tries to say that
they're being you know inclusive and
having some diversity in there when it
comes to body conclusivity it really
sounds a lot like Jordan Peterson and
his famous tweet when Sports Illustrated
had a plus size model when he tweeted
this out sorry not beautiful and no
amount of authoritarian tolerance is
going to change that it almost sounds
like Jordan Peterson is the CEO of
Netflix pulling the trigger on who does
and doesn't get on these dating shows I
don't know about you if you're a bigger
person like myself I don't know about
you but it drives me absolutely nuts
watching this play out every single time
one of these new dating shows comes on
with all of these conventionally
Attractive people and watching them talk
about how insecure sure they are about
their bodies now don't get me wrong it
doesn't matter what size you are how you
look no matter what it is everybody has
insecurities but all of us are sitting
here without seeing any kind of
representation for people like us
watching these smaller people talk about
how insecure they are about this I
remember in season two of Love is Blind
there was this guy's shape and he was
like the villain of the show and people
lost their mind when he asked when he
asked are you small enough for me to
carry you on my shoulders and people
lost it why because shape is simply
saying that he can't be with a bigger
woman and I'm like are you guys really
losing it and getting mad when this
entire show as well as all of these
other Netflix shows doesn't even include
a plus-sized man or a woman but you're
gonna get mad at this guy for asking a
normal sized woman who might have like
three pounds extra maybe if he can pull
her on her shoulders like we need to
talk about how these shows don't even
ask people where there'd be no way that
shape could put somebody on their
shoulders right but what you'll notice
too is if you watch a show like the
circle which is another great show right
where everybody is in separate little
apartments and they can't see each other
there's so much body diversity and if
you look back at the last two seasons
both of the people who won the last two
seasons were bigger guys okay and that's
cool it'd be cool to see a bigger person
with any of these other shows but on the
circle there's no there's no love to be
found every now and then some people get
together after the show right after they
meet but it's almost like they're saying
they're like we can have you here but we
don't want to give off the idea that
interview might be attractive like they
even had someone I believe it was on
season
Lee who had dwarfism right so there's a
lot of different body diversity on the
soil but none of these dating shows and
this is an issue because there are so
many different implicit biases when
especially when it comes to people who
are overweight there are so many
stereotypes and to be honest like this
is one of the reasons why I'm not on
camera as much it's one of the reasons I
haven't been putting my face in the
thumbnail lookism is a very real thing
and it's something that I have to take
into consideration every single turn
that I'm uploading a video okay because
there are these biases I have to wonder
huh if I put my big chunky face in a
thumbnail will people click or should I
just try using text and using one of
these conventionally Attractive people
on here or somebody that they might know
it's something that we have to think
about all the time because there are so
many stereotypes about who we are
because of the society and diet culture
and all that we have linked way with
like morality or weight with work ethic
even though we often don't even know the
circumstances that these people are so I
don't know I don't see anybody talking
about this but as a bigger person I
notice this with every single show and
it makes no sense at all because like I
said even with too hot to handle they're
acting like plus-sized people don't go
out and they don't hook up and I have
been in a very long term committed
relationship with my girlfriend of about
six years now but I can tell you from my
younger days and knowing a lot of other
plus-sized people like people get down
no matter what size they are all right
so if you've noticed this just know
you're not the only one you're not going
crazy but when we're talking about how
Society pressures us with all these
conventional beauty standards and all
this this is part of it and I've seen
people like Vanessa Lachey just duck and
Dodge and make these excuses for why it
doesn't happen even though the logic
there makes absolutely no sense because
they're not even making it to the Pod
stage like we need to take a step back
and start talking about this thing all
right but anyways I had to get that out
there because I don't see anybody
talking about that if you have any facts
on this leave a comment down below okay
but anyways that's all I got for you if
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right but anyways that's all I got for
this video have an amazing rest of your
day