Why Beginners Feel Like They Don’t Belong in the Gym

You're listening to Beast Overburden, powered by Barbell Logic. >> We are Niki and Andrew, your personal professional coaches. >> We help you take control of your [music] fitness through hard but doable training and nutrition practices that fit your busy life. >> Build a stronger, healthier version of yourself with lifelong [music] habits. Hey everybody, welcome back to Beast Overburden. I'm Niki Sims, with me is of course Andrew Jackson. And we're in our series talking about reasons why you are not training. And this is coming from a lot of conversations with people that we have before they start coaching. Andrew has a smirk on. We have to know. >> Well, feel like this episode is me getting in trouble for not training enough. Or this whole series is like the uh maybe I'm just projecting and internalizing. >> It sounds like you have some thoughts about training. >> [laughter] >> But you are training. >> Yeah, I am. >> Yeah. Well, this one is coming from someone who is new. This reason right here. >> It comes up in conversation um and I hear people are like, "Oh yeah, you know, I think I'll start lifting with the barbell when I'm in shape." >> Mm. >> You know, I need to get in shape first. I need to lose a little bit of weight first before I start strength training. I need to lose some weight before I whatever start doing yoga. Just insert activity where there's this perceived need to get to a certain state of physical capacity before you start doing another physical thing. >> Mm. >> And so um it's I think it can be uh something that or I think it can be creating a reason to not do something because just don't want to do it. You don't feel like it's important. You don't actually want to do it. You don't understand what strength training actually does is a huge one. Because strength training actually improves your physical capacity in so many ways. But Yeah, it really the ones I hear a lot are I need to get in shape first. I need to lose weight first. >> What Help me understand the context, the circumstances, the worldview. flesh create this character for me or this without naming names. We don't want to call anybody out by name. But >> Well, it's you're with >> you're like at a table with your friends. >> Uh-huh. >> You're talking about lifting. And this other person is like Yeah, I really have wanted to get into lifting, but I need to lose weight first. >> Mhm. Okay. Okay. >> And so they think that if they I'm I'm thinking I'm this is what I'm guessing, hypothesizing. They think that if they start lifting, they will only gain more weight and never be able to lose weight. Or they think that they are two separate things that must occur. >> Yeah. It is really this kind of interesting reveal of a person's mental model that they think being in shape is a thing you do and then you start working out. >> Yeah. Yep. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> There's a disconnect that they get to that the person that they see is the worker outer. >> Yeah. >> Got there by working out. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> But it's hard it's difficult because you only see that person at the end of the process. I mean, maybe more so now cuz everybody's putting their >> their journeys. Yeah. >> on Instagram so maybe you see a little bit more. But I think that's why those are so um inspiring and and appealing to people that the you see some crazy transformations out there where >> Yeah. >> maybe who's literally like 300 pounds barely getting up and off up off a chair and then they're you know, doing CrossFit at you know, having lost 200 pounds or something. >> Yeah. >> in a single 45 second clip though. But that you know, that's probably not the average person you're talking about it at a dinner party. >> Yeah, it's I think it's someone who just doesn't understand what strength training does or they're just trying to participate in the conversation and they're just like, I don't want to hear you talk about lifting anymore. >> [laughter] >> That's like the ghosting version of conversation. >> Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I just know I need to get in shape first and inside I'm just like boiling cuz it's >> Oh. >> you know, if only you were actually curious about this then we could really talk about it. >> [laughter] >> Yikes. >> But what I >> Yeah. >> would love to >> think you're being that vegan though about >> to be when I was doing CrossFit. >> CrossFit, yeah, you were doing that. >> doing CrossFit, paleo, whole 30, like oh, you must do it you must do it this way and >> Oh, man. >> Now I'm just like, you know what? Hanging out with bunch of friends, if they want to ask me questions about it, okay. Um but I'm just not >> my favorite version in recent memory of the way that you'll kind of low-key strength training into the conversation is picking up giant rocks in front of >> [laughter] >> my male friends who could not pick up >> Your male friends asked me to do it. >> [laughter] >> You're at this reunion essentially out on a sandbar in the middle of the Rogue River >> [snorts] >> east of Gold Beach. So we call it Gold Beach Fest because one of the guys grew up there. And we got this shade tent that we're setting up on a pretty windy day and we needed some anchors. So, the guys were like, "Well, we're we need to go get some big rocks." Rocks, you know, this is like a pretty desolate kind of sand bar >> got there. >> But, uh [laughter] they were like, "Nikki, you like you asked if she could help." They were like, "Yeah, we need to let's go get some big rocks." And uh >> "Go find any big rock." And I was like, "All right, I will find big rock." >> [laughter] >> So, >> So, I found a big one. I brought it over. >> Three people come back with a big rock including Nikki and one tried to go get a big rock but couldn't get >> No, I brought over two of the three big rocks. >> Oh, okay. >> One guy brought over a big rock and they were like and I was just like, "Can I help at all?" And they were like, "Go find a big rock." And so, I was instantly tasked with finding a big rock which I was super stoked about. I was really excited about this. >> [laughter and gasps] >> So, I brought over that one and then one of the other dudes went to grab another one and he was like, "Uh I can't pick this up." And I was like, "I got it." And it was it was definitely heavy and then I walked it all the way across on this gravelly beach to the furthest corner and it was a big one. >> [laughter] >> And I also was tasked with loading and unloading the boat and the send-off from one of the guys was like, "Well, we just need to make sure that John's not lifting too much." >> Oh gosh, yes. >> And I was like, "Don't worry, I'm on it." >> [laughter] >> Sadly, yeah, that is an old CrossFit injury that he's still suffering from but yeah, but yeah, it was practical like real world moments where >> Yeah. >> I think lifting weights has become pretty commoditized in terms of like people seeing it. You know, it used to be you see somebody squatting three plates would be kind of a big deal and and deadlifting 500 lb and now it's just like Instagram is just >> Yeah. Completely democratized the idea of being strong and you almost can't take you don't even like can't even really appreciate the weight on the bar especially because some people are just lifting so much weight. It's insane. >> Mhm. >> Literally thousands of pounds. Uh but then when you have a situation like that where you're out in the real world and somebody is able to physically do something that others can't and it's like >> Yeah. It was like my moment of glory. It was really awesome. >> She can pick [laughter] up this big heavy rock and this other dude can't budge it. Like that's just >> [gasps] >> that's real [clears throat] world strength. >> stoked. >> [laughter] >> And then people might be like, "So what do you How do you do that?" >> Yeah, I wonder. And like when I'm out with a group of girls like I do not expect anybody to ask how I train because I just don't expect anybody to want to get I don't I don't I expect some people I just don't expect many women to have a focus of wanting to put on muscle. I just assume that they want to get smaller because that is the resounding theme for women is just like how do I get smaller? >> Wow. >> And so I'm not even surprised anymore if nobody is just like, "Hey Nikki Like when I when I was thinner and I had abs, it would come up more. But it's just like that's not my priority or so. >> Interesting. >> So like when someone says, "Oh, I just need to get in shape first." I'm just like, well I don't think I'm your goal, so. >> It [laughter] seems to have even shifted in the last year. There was all this body body body positivity, big booty, like that people seemed like being bigger was getting >> Yeah. >> more appreciated. >> Yeah. >> Um obviously not >> I'm not calling you big by any means, but like the whole skinny look had kind of >> That's very popular. >> value and now everybody it's just like because anybody can access it access it now that 4 GLP-1s it's back. It's like Some of the some of the Hollywood stuff is getting crazy. >> Yeah. And so like that's well that's like the risk of when you think you need to wait to get in shape before you start strength training. Well, your bones need to be trained like osteoporosis will be way more scarier. It's osteoporosis is a much more significant risk to women than being 30% body fat. >> Mhm. >> 30% is still totally safe for women. In fact, your hormonal function works is great in it and you can be super athletic in like the 23% to 30%. We don't need to be walking around at 15% body fat. Right? So if you think you need to get down there before you actually start training, it's that's not actually not how it works. Um so the risk if if you think you need to lose weight before you start training, you're missing out on the opportunity of building muscle and training your bones. >> There also seems to be a component more so it seems to me with women although [clears throat] I mean it probably maybe so with men as well. I just I don't hear it as much because most of the guys I talk to or people I've met honestly working out or in some kind of sport. But I notice that the idea of going to the gym and not being in shape or appearing to know what you're doing is a big >> Mhm. >> That's a great point. Yeah. >> People that are in shape. >> Yeah, that's the that's the environment where it's like >> Feel like they're not invited to the club. >> Ugh, that's such a good point. Cuz there going to be a lot of people who are who are there who are just like you know, the gym lions who are just like they use every machine. They're This is me at the gym. I know at where every single machine is, I know at the times to go. Like >> [laughter] >> like I know what I'm doing. >> [gasps] >> I like the mirrors. But yeah, that's that would be totally daunting for someone to walk into that environment and not know what they're doing. So then I imagine I want to get in shape first meaning I want to do some movements at home to start feeling comfortable. >> Right. >> And then just kind of, you know, gradually get more comfortable with movements before doing movements in front of people. >> Right. I mean, there's this catch-22 where yes, the people at the gym got there by going to the gym. But they you don't see as many Like most of the people look like they go to the gym. Not as many people looking like they're starting out. And so going >> on which gym you go to. >> Well, fair enough. But the perception I think is if I go there when I look like it's day one, that's With the exception of January, that's kind of the one time of the year everybody just like has has that stubbornness that you were talking about in the last episode like all right, New Year's resolution white knuckle this and >> Yeah. But you got to get through day one if you want to get to day 90. You have to. Like there's no way around it. So no matter what movement you feel comfortable doing like start doing it every other day. Do some squats, lunges, push-ups, planks. >> Well, again, I'm going to sound like the annoying beat the drum. >> Like we're a couple of strength coaches who have a podcast. [laughter] >> Who I coaching has value, but I had this conversation just yesterday with a coach who's building her practice and she works with spinal cord injury patients. So they're building, you want to talk about starting from scratch. >> Oof, yeah. >> They have entire limbs they can't move. Um one of her exercises is literally crawling. >> Oh, okay. >> Um or like standing up out of the car. There she's really literally coaching people on how to move as if you know, from having lost total motor control of certain parts of their body. Um and she was it was very reminiscent of how I remember feeling when we first started doing online coaching in particular where I thought the value I provided was catching uh every single movement error in a video and that if I didn't list out every single thing they got wrong and send that back to them that I wasn't doing my job. >> Mhm. >> And that if they weren't moving perfectly by day two or three or even day one I was failing. >> Mhm. >> And uh I was trying to explain how what I've come to recognize that I offer as a coach that's valuable to the client is the sense of reassurance that what they're doing is moving them towards their goal. They're you know, it's not it's helping them be okay with maybe not doing it perfectly on day one and having something that's still moving them in the right direction that they can get better at and they can be they can make progress on. >> Yeah, we help them see what's coming, what the future is like. >> And I think that's the feeling we were talking about. Helping somebody overcome when they're going to the gym on day one and getting started is when you have a coach, you have that you have more confidence that not only are you going to the gym, but what you're doing is going to help and that you are going to get better at whatever it is that you're doing, whether it's adding more weight on the bar to get stronger or whether it's accessing greater range of motion or whether it's dealing with some sort of a pain, um, setback or injury. That's where I think a coach can help somebody overcome that resistance because you're going to get real-time feedback that yes, that's okay or yes, this isn't quite where we wanted it to be, but we're going to get there and here are the things here's the one or two things you can work on next time. Not the whole laundry list of every single technical detail and not this was the other thing she she was really having to overcome is the um, inclination to want to explain her PhD level of knowledge about movement, about human movement in this context. And I'm like, "No, you got to like distill that. First off, they don't know what the hell you're talking about. And two, they're only going to have the mental capacity to take on like maybe one of those things anyways, so >> Yeah. >> having a coach to reassure you, keep you confident, still giving you the next thing to work on like that whatever that most important one or two things are, it gets you back in the next time and continue to make progress. That's, um, the value beyond just "Here's your program, go do it." >> Mhm. >> You know, I'll tell you that what the next thing is to do, you know. >> Yeah. Cuz I believe if you've thought that before, if you've said I need to get in shape first." You want to look and act like someone who works out. >> Mhm. >> Your coach will help you do that. >> Mhm. >> So, you don't have to do it all on your own. >> Yep. >> [snorts] >> Awesome. Well, thank you, Andrew. Thanks, everybody, for listening. If you thought this was interesting, we'd love a share. Send it to someone who thinks they need to get in shape first. We will help them. Bye. >> Bye. >> [music] [music]