Video summary
In this discussion, Jimmy Carr explores the inherent limitations and unique potential of a single human life, arguing that one cannot experience every possible interesting path simultaneously without sacrificing others. He emphasizes that while everyone is born with different gifts and privileges, these differences do not equate to better or worse outcomes but rather distinct experiences. The core message revolves around the necessity of making active choices regarding what one wants versus succumbing to "mimetic desires," where individuals covet things simply because others possess them. Carr references Will Self's concept of status games, suggesting that people often chase external validation—like specific cars or partners—not for intrinsic value but as a flex on how they are perceived by society. He advocates for recognizing one's own fundamental wishes rather than being driven by the magic of wishing wells or societal expectations. Carr delves into the mechanics of personal fulfillment through his "shower test," an idea attributed to George Dicki, which posits that what occupies your mind in a quiet space like the shower reveals what you truly care about when external inputs are removed. He contrasts this with modern educational systems and worldviews that reward general competence over deep specialization; instead, he encourages individuals to lean into their specific strengths rather than trying to be mediocre at everything. This philosophy extends to how one should approach life's challenges: if existence is viewed through the lens of simulation theory as a game, the only meaningful competition is against oneself from last year, not others. Consequently, Carr argues that happiness comes from finding flow states and joy in the process itself rather than fixating solely on end achievements or outcomes. A significant portion of the conversation addresses the painful reality required to achieve greatness at any level, drawing parallels between comedy careers and other pursuits like becoming a touring musician. Jimmy Clear's concept is cited regarding the danger of wanting "the life but not the lifestyle," warning that disappointment is guaranteed if one does not prepare for the hardships involved in reaching an outcome. Carr illustrates this with examples of early career struggles, such as performing in borrowed vans without money or facing constant self-doubt before achieving micro-notoriety and a tour manager. He asserts that to truly master anything requires enduring these difficult phases, including writing jokes that never get told or taking taxi rides one might otherwise avoid for the sake of work. The key is enjoying the entire package, not just the highlight moments on stage. The dialogue further examines how individuals can navigate their busy lives and algorithmic distractions to maintain focus on what matters most. Carr warns against becoming the average of the podcasts consumed daily, noting that falling into specific "algorithm holes," such as listening too much to Gary Stevenson's Marxist economics content, will inevitably shape one's worldview in unintended ways. He suggests creating intentional space for silence or wandering thoughts, perhaps by expanding shower time or engaging with non-comedy topics like philosophy and politics to spark new joke ideas. Ultimately, the advice given is that life is a self-assignment where individuals must identify what brings them joy and can sustain their attention over long periods. By accepting that pain accompanies any existentially aligned pursuit and focusing on playing rather than working, one increases their chances of winning in life's game by aligning actions with genuine passion.
Read the full video transcript
If you're going to have an interesting
life, you can't have all of the other
interesting lives you would have had.
>> What's that mean to you?
>> Well, I suppose it's that thing of like
it's incredible the things you won't do.
Like when you think about like the
potential that we all have like we've
all we're all privileged in a sense,
right? Cuz we all get one life and then
we get given, you know, different gifts,
right? So there's no there can be no
equality because we're all born
different, right? So, it's that thing of
going and it's not better, worse, or the
same. It's just different. Everyone's
kind of different. And I think that for
me that
the the idea of going um you can you
can't have an easy life and a great
character. You can't you've got to kind
of go out there and and decide what you
want. That's the first great adventure.
And then getting it is the second great
adventure. So, it sort of speaks to that
thing of like wishing wells work,
but they don't work when it's not the
magic. The magic is you going, "Oh, what
do I wish for? What do I want?" Being
the fundamental like if you know what
you want, that's incredibly powerful.
Most people don't. Mo most desires are
mimemetic desires. And you get into
Renie Gerard and the idea of going,
"Well, I want that watch cuz he's got
that watch and I want that car cuz he's
got that car and I'd love that
girlfriend." It's like, how many guys
are dating girls incredibly hot? They
look amazing, very impressive. They
don't even like the guy. It's like it's
a weird
flex.
>> Yeah. They're they're in love with what
other people think about them
>> for having that.
>> It's that Will Store thing, that status
game book, which is again, I mean, it's
just he's such a genius writer.
>> Uh I love him. He's got a new Substack
by the way, all about storytelling.
>> Wonder book. He comes out this week on
the show. The uh A story is a deal.
>> Yeah. He's he's he's an outstanding
outstanding human.
>> But that idea of like you choose what
status game you play,
>> you know. So So what status game and and
again another thing from modern wisdom
that idea of going well there's there's
[ __ ] you money and there's [ __ ] you
freedom and there's [ __ ] you family. I
really I mean that really I took to
heart as going oh that's very
interesting. And the idea of going what
are the things that you're not going to
do because we live in a world that
rewards specialization. And it strikes
me that our whole school system is like
geared wrong to get you to do all the
different things, you know, and and
really, you know, young kids are like,
"What are you going to get from being,
okay, you're terrible at maths, but
we're going to get you up to a C grade."
>> Yeah. Because what the world needs is
someone who's all right at maths.
>> No competent at maths.
>> No, but but you're brilliant at English.
Well, [ __ ] lean into that. Spend all
your time doing that, you know,
specialize, especially as as the world
changes. I think leaning into you know
what it's that you often get I don't
know what it is about age or my position
in life but I often get asked like oh
you know what you think I should do
>> and it's that thing of like what do you
think about all the time that's the best
indicator there's a at George's birthday
this year in Austin Dicki one of the
guys came up with a [ __ ] wonderful I
haven't written about it yet but it'll
be in a newsletter soon it's great idea
he calls them shower thoughts and the
shower being one of the very few places
reliably believe that people don't have
some sort of external input going on,
>> right?
>> And he said, you can tell what you care
about by what you think about in the
shower.
Tell what you care about by what you
think about in the shower when there's
no other inputs going on and you're in
this liinal space between being unclean
and then drying yourself off with a
towel.
What do you think about? Where does your
mind go? It's like that's what you care
about.
>> Yeah. I think expanding that space to uh
20 minutes, an hour,
>> the answers you're looking for in the
silence you're avoiding.
>> That kind being alone with your thoughts
is a that's a that's a lovely thing.
>> How do you think about that? Because
you're spending all of this time on the
road, airports,
could watch a video, can listen to a
podcast, can do the whatever thing.
H how do you try and purposefully
uh create that space when you're busy
all the time?
>> I suppose that thing of like going if I
do eight shows a week or be more than
that on the American tour, but it's
normally eight shows a week. So it's
that thing of like going well I want to
try new jokes at every show. Uh it's
quite sort of stoic really. I mean it's
just like that thing of like going well
there's I always think how hard you work
is important but what you work on is
essential. Like that's the key thing.
You can work so hard on [ __ ] and
distract yourself with it. And like my
job's quite easy because it's easy to
analyze and to to pinpoint what's the
thing that makes a difference. And it's
for me it's jokes. It's the love
language. It's the the model. And the
more that I spend time with them, you
sort of go it's sort of like time in the
gym, I suppose. So, when you're uh
thinking about nothing and letting your
mind wander, that's the that's when it
comes up. Or you're listening to
something and it's outside of your
purview. You're not listening to comedy.
You're listening to someone talk about
uh economics or politics or philosophy
and you're then thinking, well, could I
make a joke of that? So, everything's
within you're seeing it through that the
lens of
>> be very careful. If you are the average
of the five podcasts you listen to the
most, you got to be careful because
that's going to shape your you listen to
too much Gary Stevenson, you're going to
be talking about Marxist economics and
stuff like that. Be very careful what
sort of algorithm holes you fall down in
in particular.
>> Yeah. Good. Right. Good. Good. Be
careful.
>> How do people know what they should be
doing with their lives? People coming up
to you and asking you for earnest, you
know, sincere life advice. How do you
work out what someone should be doing
with their life?
>> I don't know. I mean, it's uh it's very
odd. uh to be like I I'm I'm quite uh
taken with simulation theory.
>> Um because I don't think it's true. I
don't think we are in a matrix and this
is a video game. But if we are, I've
definitely got a cheat code, right?
Where I get to be a a touring
international comedian with a, you know,
lovely kids and a great life and great
friends. Like that's an incredibly sort
of privileged position. I think thinking
about the world as as if simulation
theory is real and this is all a
simulation is very interesting because
if you imagine life as a game, what are
you solving for? What's what are your
metrics? And I think when you really
kind of analyze it and went, well, if if
this was going to be a scoreboard at the
end and you're only really competing
with yourself, there's nothing in being
better than anyone else. There's only um
honor in being better than yourself last
year. So the idea of going well, what
would be the important things? what
would be the you know it's and it's that
thing of you go it's not the um the the
achievement so much as the uh process
enjoying the process seems to be it so
that thing of like I you know what what
should people be doing it's not for me
to say it's all life is self assignment
>> it's that thing of like what are you
happy doing what where's the where's the
flow state for you what's the thing that
brings you joy it's not even like the
10,000 hours I slightly think misses a
trick because although I buy yeah you
got to work really hard and really long
to get good at anything to get competent
at anything is hard but what could you
stand to do for that long because if
it's I mean it's nal if it's play to you
and work to them you're going to win
100% of the time
>> yeah much better question to build on
that what looks like play to you but
looks like work to everybody else is
what pain do you want in your life this
is Mark Manson's twist on it he says any
pursuit no matter how existentially
aligned will regularly come with a huge
side order of pain. Like it doesn't
matter how much you love doing comedy.
If you want to be a comedian, that means
you need to spend an awfully long time
writing jokes that never see the light
of day apart from one set where no one
laughs. You go,
>> "Yeah,
>> [ __ ] I spent ages on that."
>> No, no, for forget that. You can't enjoy
taxi rides to the airport.
>> Correct. Yeah.
>> You have to enjoy the whole thing.
>> Correct. Correct.
>> And and as soon as you go, "Oh, no. No.
just like the bit where I'm on stage. Do
No, it's not that's not how life is.
>> You have to take the whole package.
>> Mhm. Yeah. Uh James James Clear has a
[ __ ] unbelievable take where he talks
about if you want the life but not the
lifestyle, you guarantee disappointment.
>> Like if you're going to pursue this
outcome, but you're not prepared to do
what it takes to get it. Okay, you want
to be a touring musician. Sounds
fantastic. You need to spend probably
between five and 10 years just learning
the instrument. This is before you get
to perform. You don't really get to
perform on stage for that long. And then
when you start doing that, the first
>> 10 tours that you do are maybe going to
be in someone's borrowed van in the back
of a van. You're not going to have
enough money for hotels. You're going to
be playing to 100 people. No one's going
to care about you. You're not going to
have any money. You're not going to know
if it's going to work. You have no
promise of glory on the other side.
You're going to be racked with
self-doubt, constantly uncertain. The
whole experience is going to be
tarnished in this like
weird liinal like discontent about
whether this is actually the right path
to be on and then maybe you reach a tiny
bit of escape velocity and perhaps get
toward
micro notoriety.
>> Okay. And then we maybe get a tour
manager and then we start to get looked
after. That is the process of becoming
remotely great at anything.
>> Yeah. I always think that thing of like
with young comics it's quite easy
because you go if you're going out 300
nights a year to do open mics. It's kind
of the same life as playing arenas. It's
not vastly different. You going out and
telling jokes,
>> you go out and do a show like where you
go to and how whether it's an audience
of 50 people or 15,000. It really is a
very similar
process.
>> So it's if you enjoy that, if you love
it, then great. In other news, this
episode is brought to you by Momentous.
If your workouts feel flat, your
recovery is slow, or you've just been
feeling off, it might not be your
training plan or diet, might be
something a bit more boring like your
testosterone. So, if you're not
performing in the gym or the bedroom the
way that you want, or you just want to
naturally improve your testosterone,
tonatali is a fantastic researchback
place to start. And when this is stacked
with zinc, it can make a huge
improvement in testosterone production,
strength, recovery, and energy. Which is
why I'm such a huge fan of Momentous's
zinc. It supports testosterone, boosts
vitality, and helps keep everything
running like it should. And if you're
still unsure, Momenus offers a 30-day
money back guarantee. So, you can buy it
and try it for 29 days. And if you don't
love it, they'll give you your money
back. Plus, they ship internationally.
Right now, you can get 35% off your
first subscription and that 30-day money
back guarantee by going to the link in
the description below or heading to live
momentous.com/modern
wisdom and using the code modernwisdom
at checkout. That's live
ent.com/modern
wisdom and modern wisdom a checkout.
Thank you very much for tuning in.
Enjoyed that clip. The full episode is
available
right here.
[Music]