What If the Decision You’re Avoiding Changes EVERYTHING? | Unscripted Faith

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Pastor Stan Paris opens the conversation by challenging the common fear of making difficult choices, suggesting instead that the most significant mistake we can commit is refusing to make a necessary decision. He shares his personal journey from a deeply religious upbringing in North Carolina to answering God's call during his freshman year of college, emphasizing that this process was not an instant event but a deliberate journey of discernment involving prayer, study, and support from his future wife. His story illustrates that even those with strong spiritual backgrounds must actively own their faith and seek God's guidance rather than simply relying on family tradition, a lesson that remains central to his ministry today. The core argument presented is that many people drift through life because they make reaction-based decisions driven by circumstances, distractions, and comparisons with others, rather than values-based decisions rooted in their core beliefs. Pastor Paris warns that living solely in the moment often leads to regret and a lack of direction, whereas building a foundation on specific pivotal decisions provides stability even when mistakes are made. He highlights the epidemic of loneliness in modern culture, noting that eating alone has become increasingly common, and argues that choosing to live in authentic community with other believers is essential for long-term resilience. This decision requires sacrifice and the willingness to look beyond immediate comfort, but it ensures that individuals have a support system to help navigate pain and complex situations years down the road. Ultimately, the video concludes that the first and most crucial decision one must make is to know God personally and deeply, moving beyond mere religious tradition to establish a relationship with Jesus Christ. When this foundation is in place, the Holy Spirit provides the necessary guidance to make good choices, even when the path forward is unclear. Pastor Paris reassures viewers that perfection is not expected and that grace is available for those who stumble, but a life built on values and community offers a steady platform for growth. By addressing the decisions we are avoiding today with courage and faith, we can secure a future aligned with our deepest values, trusting that God's sovereignty will lead us through every challenge.

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What if the biggest mistake in your life is the decision you're refusing to make? Pastor Stan Paris has spent years walking along alongside people through those moments, the breakthroughs, the failures, the doubts, and the decisions nobody else can make for you. And he's here to help us today. Pastor Stan, welcome to Unscripted Faith. >> Well, Angela, thank you for having me and what a joy it is to be with you today and just so thankful for this opportunity with you. >> We're so thankful to have you and to help us make some good decisions here. But before we get into all of that, share with me your God story. >> Well, Angela, I really look back over my life and and see just a blessed grace-filled life. I was born and raised in a small mountain town in western North Carolina and both my parents were were strong believers and so I joke with with people that I've been in church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night since I was two two weeks old. So it's this this has always been a part part of my life and I'm so thankful for it, but and then at the age of 10 it was actually my mother who led me to Christ and that formed a bond with her that lasted her life until she went to be with the Lord, but my mother, my grandmother, they they were strong spiritual influencers in my life and so I accepted Christ when I was 10 and and it's it's been a great journey walking with the Lord ever since and you know, I used to think Angela that you know, I didn't really have a a great testimony. I didn't have this incredible moment where I was far from God and he redeemed me, rescued me, but as I've gotten older a little bit and reflected, you know, I realized what a powerful story this is that God has done in my life to save me at a young age and then allow me to walk with the Lord all these years and it's been a been a great blessing in my life and then while I was a student college student at the University of Tennessee, I I experienced a call into ministry to serve the church and and so for over 30 years now, I've been a pastor and been able to been able to to see the work of God in powerful ways all these years and so it's a been a great joy to serve the Lord and and so my story is maybe not remarkable to some but it's remarkable remarkable to me and what God has done. >> Well, Pastor Sam, tell me how did you experience the call of God on your life because that looks so different for so many people, but what did it look like for you? >> You know, I was in college and I had in my mind kind of my career path and thinking what I wanted to be and do in life and and I thought I had it all mapped out and when I went to college really for the first time having grown up in church and and in a faith family I started to hear things I never heard before experienced things and that you know, I just had not been accustomed to seeing or hearing growing up in that environment and so it was not a crisis of faith but it was a moment in my faith where I had to decide which direction I'm going to go and so I spent a lot of time alone with the Lord and just seeking him and his guidance and it was through that time just really clarifying what I believe in some ways I had to own my faith it'd had given to me, the legacy. It had been passed to me from my family. Uh but it was in that season I had to own my faith. Um and as I did my research and searching and reading God's word and asking some hard questions, uh it was in those moments that God began to stir my heart. Uh and I experienced the the call of God in my life as a freshman in college. Uh and and the neat thing about that was uh my girlfriend at the time, uh which is now my wife, um we've been married for 34 years. Uh she was able to walk with me through that. Um and we just kind of experienced that together, the call together. Um and and so we've been together for 34 years serving God and uh it's been a real joy. >> That's amazing. Now, when you say that, was it a process or did you have a moment where like the Lord spoke to you and then somebody else confirmed it? What did that look like? >> Yeah, it's kind of a a neat story, you know. It's uh it was a little bit of a journey, a process of just seeking God's will and um and you know, Angela, uh I learned something that stuck with me for my entire ministry that uh don't don't ever doubt what God can do and uh and who he will use uh in the ministry. I I went to a person um that um uh that I I I thought could help me. I was I had questions and I had uh was feeling like maybe God was leading me to ministry and was trying to discern that call. Um and I went to this person and and they they really expressed a lot of doubt um uh that are you sure God is calling you? Would God call you? And uh I was a pretty introverted kid at that time in college. Um and so uh that that that sparked in me this uh this um I guess uh the understanding that I've tried to hold through my ministry that God can use anybody. God calls people with their own unique personalities. And and so it was a more of a process of me just discerning that with God's word, with some counselors, and with my soon-to-be wife, and and all that together came together to really show me this is what God wanted me to do with my life. >> I love that because very early on you went through an understanding of how do I make this decision? How do I know? You begin to ask that hard question. And that's still the question you're helping others to answer now. So help us. How do we make these hard decisions? >> Oh, if I Angela, if I had the easy answer to this, I I would be be be famous for sure, but you know, I can't tell you Angela. I can't give you a three-step process. If you If you do these three things, then you're always going to make the right decision. And the truth is that if if we always made the right decision, we would not need Jesus. We would not need grace. >> [laughter] >> So we're not perfect, and we're not always going to make the right decision. But what we can do Angela is I believe build a foundation that is going to help us make good decisions, and it's also going to give us a steady foundation to stand on when we don't make the right decision. So I think what happens Angela that at most people, at least a lot of people, they make reaction-based decisions rather than values-based decisions. >> Wow. >> So you know, life just gets busy, and we get distracted. We're working. We're trying to take care of the kids. They're involved in all of their activities. And we begin to react to our circumstances, and we make decisions out of reacting to those things rather than making decisions based on our values. >> Yes. >> We see this a lot with comparison. We we compare our life to other people's lives. Uh we compare our marriage to others, our kids to others. And then we we begin to react to that. And and we make reaction-based decisions that often lead to regret um or a lot of times uh Angela, it will lead to just drifting through life. >> Yeah. >> When you're always making reaction-based decisions, you you you're making decisions based um on comparison, your circumstances, distractions, it leads to a lot of times you drifting through life. And then after a while, you realize, "I don't know how I got here. I don't know how my life turned out this way." And that's because you are reacting rather than making values-based decisions. And so the 10 pivotal decisions in the book that I wrote, it the these are values-based decisions. And when you make these decisions, it builds that platform that you might not always make the right decision, but it's certainly going to give you the platform to help you make good decisions as you go through life. >> Wow, I love this. And this is such a powerful work you're doing because like you said, you know, you're reading my mail over here. Sometimes I am drifting through life. I've got two very active girls. Got a husband who runs his own construction business. And I'm here doing all this, you know. So so our our schedules can kind of run us instead of us running our schedules. So help me, Pastor Seay, without giving all the things we know we need to get this book. We get that. But share with me some of the things that I can do starting today to help me set up a good foundation. >> Uh yeah. Okay, let me let me give you a where we start with this because this is this is the key. And the and I know, Angela, that that some people will hear this and think, "Well, this is what the pastor is going to always say." However, uh this is really key to making good decisions in your life. And I start out in the book by talking about the number one decision you have to make in your life. The pivotal decision is that I will know God and I will know him well. And this is the key. If you know God and know him well, you're going to build a foundation in your life to help you make good decisions. >> Yes. >> This this moves beyond just being religious or knowing some of the traditions. Um But when you have a personal deep relationship with God through Jesus Christ, then you have a foundation that's going to help you make decisions. His the Holy Spirit's going to lead you and you you have that solid foundation. And so it starts with there. But then we let's move on to things like how important it is that you make the decision that you're going to live in community with other believers. Um you know, we we have a loneliness epidemic in our culture. And there's a study that says that just yesterday, you take one day, yesterday, that one out of four people ate every meal alone yesterday. Um that's a 53% increase over the last 20 years. It's an epidemic problem. >> Yes. >> Um and so when we're making decisions in our life and we're thinking about our kids, you know, you're thinking about your kids and your family. Um a lot of times we're living just right now in the moment. Um how will this decision impact me right now? Um rather than thinking down the road. What what do I really need in my life? What what do my kids need? They need real authentic community in the body of Christ. And I believe when you have that authentic community, you make that decision that you're going to nourish that and live in that community, then 10 years down the road, you're going to be really thankful because that community is going to walk with you through the hard decisions of life, through the pain of life. They're going to be there as a resource for you to go to and say, "Hey, I'm dealing with this in my life. How can you What do you think? And can you pray for me?" So, making the pivotal decision to live in community is really important. And And the thing is, Angela, to live in community to do many of these decisions, it means you have to give up something else. >> Wow. >> But, if you think only for the moment, you're unwilling to give up those things. But, if you think long-term, >> Wow. >> then you realize these pivotal decisions are what I need to build into into my life. And so, I discuss 10 decisions you can make, and it's going to build a good foundation for you going forward in your life. >> That's so good because it does help me to not avoid that decision I I don't want to make, you know, I I don't want to make that decision. Should I just avoid it, put it off? But, it really makes me sit back and say, "Okay, that decision is going to ultimately impact the long-term, the future goal." So, if I can make that decision now based on my values, then I will have that future that I want, even if I don't want to make the decision, right? >> That's exactly right. And I I do believe if you have values-based decisions that you're making in your life, and you know God and know him well, then the Holy Spirit is going to lead you down the right path, even when you don't know what what exactly to do. God is great, sovereign, and good, and he will lead you down the right path, whether you realize it or not, God will lead you. >> Come on. Such good wisdom. Thank you so much, Pastor Steve, for being with us today, and thank you for helping us to all make better decisions. >> Thank you so much. It's been a joy. >> Mhm.