We’re Living in a System Built by Lunatics - Tom Segura (4K)

what is going on with the health and fitness stuff it seems like I looked at some photos of you from 10 years ago and you're like half the size yeah yeah I don't know I just you know you just get tired of everything so you go I'm just gonna I'd like to be around and feel better so you just you know it's it's like it's a it's a it's an always happening thing it's I don't feel like it's a uh thing that you just address once and you're done with it it's it's something that you are just thinking about I think all the time you know what I mean is this sort of gone of the days where you can fully live out the degenerate smoking creating a lifestyle because I did that I already did it yeah I mean it's you know when you're really in it there's a there's a kind of a freedom to being like I'm a [ __ ] gross sack of [ __ ] and you just don't care and you just eat in bed and smoke and I mean my I used to go to bed every like at 3:00 in the morning almost every day and I would sleep until I don't know noon like that was normal I did that for years and there's like a freedom in being like yeah I don't care I don't give a [ __ ] but I do think it has well it literally does have an expiration date I don't think it does like you will die quicker if you do it that way so I think you kind of just go like uh I actually don't feel physically feel so great after a while I think in your head too like you psychologically are just kind of like uh there's there's another way of doing this um that because part of you kind of I was one somebody who like I would admire those comedians that were kind of a mess so you you know what I mean like you go like I need to be like this but it doesn't feel so contrived right oh this is their purest artistic expression look they're on stage being themselves they're a sack of [ __ ] being themselves yeah and and I thought that was like that's kind of like the way when I started I was like I leaned into it more I remember like one of my friends came to one of my early shows Once and he was like Hey man that that T-shirt has a hole in it and I was like I know and he was like you want to wear that on stage like people are watching you don't you think they want to see like somebody that's presentable and I was like no no like this is this is this is the presentation it's like that you have holes in your shirt and I kind of was like I was sure of it I was like yeah I mean that's the whole thing I'm I'm I'm I wasn't I didn't feel like I was pulling on an act I was like yeah this is what I would wear around the house in a way uh making effort is sort of detracting from you being you yeah yeah but I do think that it's look it's all part of like this is why I hate telling uh young comedians like how to how to do it like you know when they go give them advice I'm like I really don't like giving advice to Young other than do it a lot like that's the advice but as far as like don't do this I go that's not how to do it like the way to do it is to do things you think you're supposed to do and then you figure out how to actually do it whether or not you're supposed to do them yeah if I tell you don't do make sure you don't do this that might keep you from encountering something that actually really spark something in you you know me well there's a a difference between 2D lessons that you learn from someone telling you or you're reading it in a book and 3D lessons that you learn from experiencing it firsthand a th% yeah yeah there's a a guy called Bill Perkins who lives here in Austin he came on the show he wrote this book called die with zero which is about how to sort of make the most of your wealth and and it's written for people who struggle to spend money even though they might earn a little bit more than they need to and they're you know sort of skin Thrift and they they don't spend their money so much you have no idea what I'm talking about um and I read the book and then immediately after that from the podcast he said oh why did you why did you come and wake surf with me and I got to learn the lesson both from the book and then from the podcast and then I got to experience it with him Firs hand and there's a driver outside and there's a boat and there's a blah blah and it's like ha now I know what he's talking about and it's the same with this you can tell someone hey you maybe consider yourself a professional be presentable consider your health go to bed on time Etc yeah but if you arrive at that realization yourself it's way deeper it's opposed to being like yeah I mean Tom said that but maybe he's full of [ __ ] I don't know yeah and and honestly also to make it like to on the money thing of like one thing that nobody ever wants to hear is like money won't make you feel fulfilled like no one wants to hear that [ __ ] and then when you actually earn it and you and then you go like oh yeah this is what people were talking about like the lesson is not going to someone's saying it's not going to affect you the way that actually experiencing it will there's a category a very unique category of lessons I call them unteachable lessons yeah and that's one of them oh for sure another one is uh you're not in love with that girl she's just pretty and difficult to get uhhuh and it's how many times do you need to learn that over and over again yeah some people never learn it yeah you just continue to chase the slightly unavailable pretty hot girl yeah and you go it dude it's it's you you're doing it again and then when you get there you're going to be like this is different this time and and then you oh yeah this is not it's not and money won't make you happy is another one of those it's just it just I know it's to and I understand it too because so many people hear that and they go yeah give me that problem y uh give me that problem because you're thinking of like your current money problems and what happens is yes that money will solve those problems but it's not going to solve all of you it's not going to make much deeper problem which is inside of you exactly you're you're not going to be like now everything is satisfied you're just not going to have those bills it's a difficult one with this right because what you want to do especially if you've hard one a lesson you want to try and help other people you go do you know how much I went through to get to this place of fame or status or [ __ ] the hot chick or whatever realize the blood and the sweat and the tears and the sleepless nights and all of that stuff please please let me save you from the same sort of misguided assumption about life and yet it's received not even neutrally it's like negatively received oh with with tons of resistance but I think that that's it just goes to show you that is part of The Human Experience like you can't teach some of these lessons it's also why these cliche Expressions exist and you're like that sound like the reason that thing is said that way is because it's true and because millions of people have already experienced it that's why we're saying that thing but again no one wants to hear it and I actually don't I the the older you get the more you realize that it makes sense that you need to experience it in order to actually you know what I mean like in order to act and to to have it resonate with you what the total addressable MO for people who want more fame or more hot chicks or more money is basically everybody and the total addressable market for people who have got some amount of fame or money or hot chicks is basically zero so you end up with this sort of weird privileged position it's like no no no no if I had that it would be different yeah my I can watch me dance through this Minefield I know that you kicked a couple of trip wires but like you're [ __ ] so like watch me watch me do the pirouette through here like and it'll my internal voids will be fixed because I'm unique yeah yeah and then you the other thing you just realize also as you get older is that like you're so not unique you really aren't like all the [ __ ] that you all your insecurities all the problems you encounter all the things that you think about that you think only you're thinking about man that's everybody like it's you really are in this thing with eight billion other people and all the things that you think are unique to you they're really not the veils fall from your eyes uh on the weight loss thing I saw a study that said 37 % of genz plan on skipping the gym and just using a zic instead so 30% of genz women are intending to use gp1 drugs to reach their weight loss goals compared to 20% of men and on average women are setting more ambitious weight loss targets aiming to shed 23 pounds in 2025 and men are looking to lose 19 huh well I mean part of that is probably that those women have like a a tougher time in like Society with what they think they need to look like I mean you know even though it affects both genders but yeah I I think that's like a temporary solution to this I mean they're end they're going to end up the the real problem if you read some studies about those gp1s is that people lose muscle mass and they're losing at a much higher rate than they think they are sometimes they're losing 66 in a 10 pound loss they're losing 66% of that is lean mass which is not what you want like the one thing you want for Health and Longevity and strength and all that is to retain lean mass so doing it the slower way with like good nutrition and good workout plan is what you want I mean but also are you surprised like we're everybody wants a quicker solution to something so yeah um I think we're going to have a bunch of people with gaunt faces and uh and and lacking muscle uh over the next decade is going to be a new issue tell you what's been interesting so I've trained it on it maybe once a week something like that yeah and for the last three months four months Tuesday morning I've seen Alex Jones in there doing be crawls he's running around outside he's flipping Tires over he's doing this stuff Alex Jones yeah and then I S of I I hadn't I didn't know whether I hadn't seen him up close or something and then I saw this famous like OIC Jones before and after thing and he's lost a ton of weight yeah and there's a bit of me a lot of people on the internet were like aic's a hell of a drug I go I get that but I've seen him working really really hard in on at gym and uh there's kind of now if you lose weight through hard work people are just going to say dude oic's a hell of a drug I know I might as well use o there like some weird Russian Roulette undeniable situation this is the same reason I think why there's all these guys especially uh stars who though the one thing they won't talk about is that they're all juicing you know it's like this Universal thing in Hollywood and everyone sees their if if you see a photo or a video everyone the comments are all like it must be nice with this needle it's like yeah dude if you just injected that you're not going to look like him like that guy still busts his ass training to be just beyond jacked right like so but it's like in other words people don't want to they think that these things are just a quick solution you still have to work at it uh whether you're going for the the juice head that wants to be like super jacked or the person who's just trying to lose weight if you're just going to do the inject nothing else you're going to have L appropriately yeah exactly your results are not going to be impressive but I mean that's great that he's dud he great I mean the you're right on the 66% thing I think almost all of that can be mitigated if you just do resistance training if you lose the weight and you train but the problem is that people who don't have a health and fitness routine are taking an injection and suppressing their appetite and then losing weight and still not having a health and fitness routine I mean the thing that I learned was that I when I I saw a nutritionist can really really change the way you view a lot of things when it comes to weight loss and so my my journey I would say is like it's it's always Uno it's up and down right even like in the last couple years like it's it's not steady state and like uh Midsummer I knew I had this series coming up um to shoot and I was like okay I go um at the time I was about 100 days out and I was like you know I can just show up as I am and and it's it's fine it's going to be fine no one's like you know Tom needs to be a model for this thing but I was like I'm going to hate myself for not at least putting in an effort and so I had considered like just uh doing glp 1es have you ever tried them uh I did try it once yes how do you feel I just didn't eat anything and then I got off of it I didn't like that um so I considered it for this just for the shoot though and I met a nutritionist and he I told him what I was doing at that moment which is in the midsummer and I go um so I'm thinking about you know maybe just doing he's like what are you what are you doing right now and I told him what I was eating and how I was training he's like you're not eating enough so if you get on gp1s you're definitely not going to eat enough so the thing that I ended up doing was eating way more but of the right foods and I dialed up the training and I lost you know in this period going from the be from the 100 days out through the shoot like around 20 pounds but looked way better probably a little bit of lean mass as well and and it was but it and also the the thing that was like surprising was that it was it was more like I was eating so much more I mean every day I would have you know I would start the day with like four eggs some fruit um a little while later I usually train in that period and then uh like a 50 g protein shake lunch was 10 to 12 ounces of lean meat with green um another uh snack in between and then my dinners were uh 16 oz of lean protein with greens right so it's like I was like I wasn't eating like this two months ago I was having like you know a chicken sandwich and be like that was good protein you know it's like it's so much like my protein intake must have been like I don't know I was probably having like 40 grams a day not even thinking about it versus every day then trying to get in exactly but nobody sleepwalks into 200 g of protein Nobody Does it it's impossible it's deliberate the only way that you get there is by accident is if you've gone to some buffet and you've just decided to like cave on the like Brazilian [ __ ] whatever it's called fogot a chow um but it does work it's like my point for like people who are like they're like I need to eat I'm hungry it's like dude eat this and tell me that you're like still hungry starving yeah it's just not the case on the OIC point uh I think was it the Golden Globes that happened recently what was the award show that happened recently uh such an awesome take from someone that writes for the Free Press and they said uh OIC and the uh body condition of most of the people at the Golden Globes shows that the fat acceptance movement was all a scam ah I [ __ ] so [ __ ] true I hate the fat acceptance the moment that you had an easy rout out of being overweight body positivity went out of the window that's so true because there's such Hypocrites there's such pieces of [ __ ] and this whole thing has always enraged me more than anything I think I think because of the fact that I've struggled with it and I had to deal with the fact that I hated the way I felt or looked or you know you hate that your genetics are the way they are whatever it is but I also I also think part of it just being a guy and that like guys talk to each other differently like you know I played Sports and you just get used to someone being like okay fat ass and you're just like [ __ ] you you know that's just like the way dudes talk to each other and this whole idea that like one of my friends is going to be like I actually think you you look really good at any weight it's like [ __ ] off like that's not true and that's what people started to do like I remember this one post where it was like Adele and they showed her like at her heaviest and and then she'd lost a bunch of weight I don't know how she lost weight but she lost Bunch weight I think she pre OIC as I think it was too and she looked great and it was just filled everything was just filled with I think she looks great in both and it's like no don't why are you saying that that's not true like what she looks great now she put in the work and she obviously ate a certain way and trained and she look and now she looks great like you can say that like yeah yeah she wasn't ugly before but no both look both are wonderful it's like this is this is just nonsense weird with what people are doing especially with the fat acceptance body positivity thing like you don't want to [ __ ] lambast or castigate or be mean to people that are overweight and that are trying no but also removing any sort of judgment on what is better or worse for you just that's bad for them but yeah there there's this idea from Isaiah bin called the inner Citadel and it's basically if you can't get what you want you have to teach yourself to want what you can get so you sort of retreat into this so um I struggle to make monogamous relationship work therefore monogamy is a flawed system and everyone should be polyamorous uh I struggle to lose weight naturally therefore weight has no bearing on health and the entire world needs to accept me at any size and I need to be beautiful no matter what I struggle to hold down a job therefore I'm turning to a life of crime and that actually this is like just as acceptable as a normal leg it's it's it's all it's it's completely disingenuous and it's all about a lack of accountability and I think that's the thing about like when you talk about body positivity it's like yeah you don't need to rip people apart who are not um you know that are overweight or whatever it's like I don't know I don't think that's very productive for them it's just going to very few people are passive aggressed or patronized into Behavior yeah for sure but to say like this is great and you know and then now people are also doing the same manal gymnastics with the the term healthy like what is healthy it's like you know what the [ __ ] healthy means stupid like it's not I'm not making up this word and they're like well who is to say what is healthy well we actually have a pretty good idea of what is healthy so if your cholesterol is [ __ ] 600 you're not healthy like why are we pretending and but people want you to go yeah but like I can't believe a a a doctor is going to tell me if I'm healthy you're like that's the job stupid like that's what he's supposed to do they're they're telling you that this is not good and we all know that if you're carrying that much weight you're talking about like 350 400 and the idea that like that's okay you know it's not before we continue Tom just confirmed what we all knew steroids in Hollywood are everywhere but the reality is there aren't any cheat codes for losing weight and keeping muscle unless you want to end up on some Olympic doping list however there are science backed supplements like tonat alali to support testosterone strength and recovery and that is why I partnered with momentus because they make the only NSF certified tonat Al on the the planet that means it's so rigorously tested that even Olympic athletes can use it and that is why I'm such a huge fan because they make the most carefully tested highest quality supplements on Earth this is a huge part of my brain body and sleep stack which makes a huge difference to my cognition my strength and my recovery the evidence behind this is really impressive it is completely natural but has a profound impact on your testosterone as I learned from Dr Andrew hubman and if you're still unsure momentus offers a 30-day moneyback guarantee so you can buy it and try it for 29 days and if you don't love they'll give you money back and they ship internationally right now you can get 20% off everything plus that 30-day money back guarantee I'm going to the link in the description below or heading to liv.com wisdom using the code modern wisdom a checkout that's L IV m n us.com wisdom and modern wisdom a checkout did you see that uh rapper who was disallowed from getting into a lift car and she's now suing lft yeah also let's rapper is like let's I know that she claims to be let's not give her too much credit I don't I don't think she's signed to a label but yeah I did person who raps yeah I identify as a person who raps a person who raps who was uh I believe the thing said she was 392 which is like not a lot of scales giving you that um I don't know if they went over to the truck stop and figured it out but she is enormous and and a driver was like yeah don't get in here I think he was worried about his tires yeah he's probably thinking about suspension rear axle and was like no and now they're like just shooing for discrimination it's like maybe the guy has a a point that he has a older car could you imagine I don't know whether this is right but imagine that she'd got in the car and there'd been some sort of an accident due to that I I don't know I mean it's £400 like surely you you could have like two or three other people in the car that seems unless it's because it's all in one space I don't know anyway I think it's it's an interesting but also I guess on the flip side of that this I realized a while ago that people who were fat had a problem with asmic because it was sort of denying their right to exist and it was this yeah but then there was a bunch of people that were in shape that had a problem with it too because it it gave people who didn't need to use as much hard work and willpower an easier route to being in shape I'm aware that losing fat isn't being in shape because there's muscle tone and all the rest of the stuff but still like you would look at somebody that is half the size that's 150 as opposed to 300 you go yeah they're more in shape at least with clothes on yeah and uh yeah it's everybody is threatened in one form or another by shortcuts everybody is yeah yeah because the reason that you look at someone who's in shape and you go wow that's I really that that's good there's I feel some sort of sense of like warmth and trustworthiness it's because it's a reliable signal of what they've done to have to get there exact whereas now you just think hey are are you hardworking and consistent or have you got a prescription for a zic yeah exactly yeah that is what that is a thing that people do and it's like like especially you see um somebody who has never done anything before and then they drop weight and then they go yeah you do the you do you you kind of look at them like oh you did the cheat code and then you you kind of dismiss them as a person you just go like oh you're a you're a shortcut person which I understand I mean that's yeah and now it's an unfalsifiable it's losing weight either naturally or with assistance is the getting jacked naturally or with assistance for dudes it's like it's just an totally like unprovable hypothesis the crazy thing about this getting jacked thing though is like people don't know how even the people that are in Hollywood that they go well that person's not on it they're on it too I've I know so many people who are geared out of their minds and even ones who you go well this person had had a naturally lean aesthetic before and so it's it's believable that like no they're on they're on it too they're all on it they just never want to talk about it uh it's almost like the the most uh taboo thing you can bring up for some of these guy even though it's like so obvious and out in the open especially like for people that like are around Fitness and in the gym like you just know like there just tells you just know but they don't want to be seen they don't want the perception to be that they took a shortcut but that change people are coming out online fitness influences and stuff like that it would be great I mean for some reason the last place where they're not doing it is Hollywood is which is like it's all [ __ ] anyways right it's all the fugazy it's all people are wearing makeup they've got special lighting it's all [ __ ] but none of them want to talk about it and it's pervasive it's it's it's so incredible how many are doing it did you see that you can reset your Instagram algorithm now they just released this this week so you can completely wipe your Instagram algorithm and start basically a fresh wow so probably be healthy for me well yeah you have a death in cause right that's it I mean I got like I have the workplace accidents uh barbecue recipes Italian women's feet watches yeah I probably gotta I gota you really need this this was made for you wow uh but yeah I wonder if it'll uh Purge all of the fitness influences that everybody followed when they first started Instagram in 2011 because you kind of get there's this trick that happens to your mind too when you open your algorithm you just go well this is what it is this is the world this is everybody's looking at everybody is is seeing these yeah and you're like this is how we're all spending our time yeah I I think that'd be fascinating reset your Instagram algorithm how do you there's like an actual but yeah it just it's in the app they've relased start over I think it said um want to start a fresh question mark is the page that you go to you have to accept some terms and conditions I it feels a little bit like euthanizing someone you're like okay you're are you sure that you're prepared to get rid of you know a decade of you building up this very carefully curated algorithm I wonder if there's a little bit that lingers there and they go we'll let him try but I something tells us like we might just have to throw the old [ __ ] in a little bit until it get used to the new stuff but that would be I mean that'd be fascinating to see what I actually want now as opposed to what I've [ __ ] compounded I've ruined so many other people's algorithms you know that by browsing on the phone no just I send them videos and then they go dude now they're like now I get sent like cyclists falling off a cliff every day and I'm like oh yeah they're like you [ __ ] everything up for me and nothing makes me happier than like knowing that one of my friends is is getting C with the same ALG Ryan long Ryan long was doing some research for a bit uh and he was looking at uh quadruple amputees and he's now just got his entire Alm it I know you dive down these rabbit holes on there and then you're like oh that's the [ __ ] you like oh we'll give you more of I was doing some research but now kind of I do yeah now it's like yeah like uh my buddy Bert looks at like just like poverty stricken people preparing meals so it's just like somebody like really lower income being like this is all I have and they're making lunch and then like he's like yeah I'm just fascinated by this I'm like what the [ __ ] and he's just like and if you look at his phone it's just like people below the poverty line making meals it's a feedback loop yeah there's a I had a guy on that wrote the book on artificial intelligence the textbook that was used worldwide in like a hundred languages something like that and uh Stuart Russell he said there's this really interesting thing there's two ways that algorithms can be better at predicting what it is that you're going to click on one is that they continue to feed you uh clickable content but the other one it's by directional the other one is to nudge your preferences so that you become easier to predict I was like huh that makes so much sense because all that it's looking to do is maximize clicks yes but there's two people in this there's both the content that's being served and there's the preferences of the person that's clicking so over time these algorithms nudge people's preferences and how how easier is it to predict what somebody will or will not click on than by pushing them out to The Fringe of any Viewpoint if you are I know exactly what you're going to like what you're going to hate because you're out on the right or you're out on the left or you're at the top or the bottom or whatever super easy if you're in the middle and you're like I'm going to fall this way I'm not so bothered about that really really hard so I like huh I haven't ever heard anybody talk about the other direction of how algorithms work by nudging your preferences to be more predictable not by getting better at serving you stuff that it knows you're going to click on yeah that's really fascinating scary too that the way it I've actually used utilize the thing a lot on Instagram uh the not interested cuz like sometimes you're like like what the [ __ ] is all what why is this here and you start to like hit that cuz hopefully just to get like something new yeah there's uh I remember this was on Facebook ages ago but uh the power of saying don't show me this page again or show me fewer posts like this yeah 100 to one I think compared with a like so it's so R right it's so much more effortful F you like not interested in this thing so yeah I mean that's the tra or you can just completely you know 500 Days of Summer it and uh and decide to get by have you done that have you done totally like no I only found out about it yesterday so I'd consider I think I probably will unplug oh yeah well no just reset I I spent a week in Jamaica where I didn't have my phone does that count no that mean but doesn't wasn't that though like t a type of experience for you the fact that you like I have friends that like are really at like have done the thing where they they give the the account to somebody else to post they're like this is just rotting my brain I'm spending way too much time and a couple of them that I can think of told me that it made them so much happier so in other words they just go here are the P here's the password um I'll tell you when to post things I don't want to have anything to do with it anymore I think a lot of people like that but one of the things I realized when I was in Jamaica was if you don't have any so this was the week leading up to Tik Tok ban all of that stuff if you have to self-generate things to talk about it's really interesting because you get to places that are a little bit deeper that are a little bit more interesting but on the flip side like you realize how Reliant you are on yo do you see that that happened this morning oh have you noticed that Trump said to do this this thing you go okay so not only is it sort of capturing my time and my attention it's even like getting inside of me and staring out through my own eyes and making noises come out of my mouth yeah because you're part of it is that you feel like you're in the game right like contributing yeah and and and also like if you're completely unplugged then you're one of those people that's just like huh what happened a healthc care guy got shot like you want to be that guy you don't want to be the guy that doesn't know anything so it's there is like this kind of balance of like do you want to be in the game or you don't want to be obsessed also with like because I I do this thing where I I when especially when I'm alone right where you do you do the cycle I call it like like where I go like uh YouTube Instagram emails Tik tock you like whatever like you just yeah what's and then you just you're just like wow like two like I the hard thing for me is when you get back from a show like we're on I'm on the road at to show you're in your room and you're like all right it's time to like I should go to bed soonish I'm just gonna look for a second yeah and that's like you get into that that loop it's like you have to have the discipline to just be like the advantage of being around people and it's the disadvantage if you spend a lot of time on your own because you like assuage your feelings of loneliness Yeah by having a friend I'm not going to feel alone I don't need to feel bored I don't need to have the whatever you're okay well if the person's here it's like Fone can [ __ ] off I don't think about it having a great conversation with a friend I'm not thinking about it that's right the second that they leave like ah B again yeah and it's like the SEC the millisecond correct yeah I mean sometimes you're just like like I mean when some it's like they're like I'm going to go to the bathroom you're like okay it's like it's so it's so immediate like it is a drug I got a i got followed it was a couple of weeks ago now there was a period for about two weeks where tons and tons of Latino and Spanish accounts were following me I was like that's a [ __ ] red flag and like something's happened in Spanish somewhere and I can't read it I can't decipher it I don't know what has caught but something upstream was it AI translated all your [ __ ] no no it was just like I maybe someone or something had got a hold of something that I'd said I'm like this could be positive this could be the beginning of me [ __ ] starting some sort of war with like the country of Mexico I don't know but I just I had no idea what was going on I'm like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] like being followed by it was the same Whitney Cummings told me that um after she did that CNN thing tons of comedians texted her saying that was so funny and she's like immediate red flag if lots of comedians text you and say that the thing you just did on TV was funny huge warning sign massive [ __ ] warning sign like that was the wait did you figure out what still no I'm just like this is it's an open loop I'm flying in the dark here I have no idea comedians complimenting you definitely makes you go like hm [ __ ] up yeah I did something wrong I went to this uh daytime house music party in Austin on Saturday it's called mushroom Cowboy so it's uh micro do the kind of event I don't know I think they're kind of hinting at that but it's in a coffee well was outside of a coffee shop off Congress yeah so I turn up at half 10 it started at 10: and the queue is 250 yards long for coffee what and there must have been 1,500 people there one guy brought a b was raving with his baguette those dogs you know pretty pretty sober looking from the outside maybe some people smoking weed but uh I think this is maybe the beginning of us seeing the end of like hardcore drink culture if you've looked at how few of jenzi now drink yes it's I think maybe 20% the interesting thing is like the the theories on why because there's obviously the there they have to be theories right on on we don't actually know exactly yeah uh one of them is that people the youth views drinking as like what their parents did right so that's like that's naturally uncool yeah my [ __ ] lame ass dad drinks like I don't I'm not interested so that's one thing the other part of it is that this uh group of people uh that are the youth right now are so much more informed on what the negative aspects of drinking and what it can do to you that they're just like why would I you know why would I consume yeah to to something like that and that they've found this whole other you know when you want to take the edge off there's a lot more options and it's also a lot more accepted today than it was 20 years ago like the idea that you could micro do or do Edibles or smoke or you know what I mean and then there's like all the you ketamine and everything is like I have a I have different things that I do when I want to have a recreational good time um and yeah but it's it's undeniable that it's it's definitely way down there's more daily uses in the US of weed now than there are of alcohol is that for real overtaken or at least that was the the most recent study that I saw in the US they're now more daily or near daily marijuana users than daily or near daily alcohol users and that and that that thought was just completely like if you're a a teen right now you don't understand how how Preposterous that sounds coming from like if you were growing up in the 80s and 90s like you were just like that that those were like Fringe people almost you know what I mean like yes it was popular but it it was not like a respectable person really wasn't doing that you know it was like the Arts it was like hippies and and yeah it was I mean people thought of it as like the absolute worst thing that could happen I mean people from like my dad's generation likened marijuana to heroin they didn't even see like really a difference they're just like you're a junkie like but what for smoking a joint and like yeah that's the way they viewed it so the fact that it's that accepted now it's it's mind-blowing to me I wonder if some of it is that drinking in the house on your own feels pretty [ __ ] bad yeah but smoking in the house on your own you're like I'm just watching I'm playing Call of Duty yeah leave me Al alone but if you're if you're six beers deep playing Call of Duty yeah it's a different story yeah and and you're not playing well at that you're just like I don't know how well people are playing on weed either but [ __ ] yeah yeah you're probably more likely to yell out pejorative slurs um yeah I think that um I mean look smoke smoking is still not good for you so like you're probably but but we've discovered that you know there's other ways to ingest and like consume and that's that's what I think is part of like this youth culture thing about staying away from drinking is they're like whatever I do drop in this or I you know I I have my gummy or whatever however they want to consume but they're just they're definitely not drinking man they're not drinking like they like everybody else before them did I used to run nightclubs for ages and one of the big downturns we've seen has been in Nightlife industry I think the UK is losing a nightclub a week There's not like an unlimited number of nightclubs it's like one is shutting down pretty much every single week and I asked a friend who's still in the industry why he thought that was the case he said smartphones man back in the day you could be as Loose as you wanted you could sort of have that Lar ly drinking Spirit at least in in Britain they don't want to be recorded of course like if you mess up and like [ __ ] yourself in the middle of a nightclub in 2002 it's a story that you can deny the next day and then after 6 months most people have probably forgot whereas if that happens in 2025 that's now concretized on the internet for everybody to know and bring back up and make memes out it for the rest of time I mean it's but imagine like how the pro athletes of the 80s and 90s and early 2000 would just go out and just just destroy just destroy a woman's hopes dreams and then now they're all yeah they're like everyone's on edge yeah everyone's got a phone out it's just yeah it's it's a totally different by the way do you ever think about why as I still remember that like why was house music and d and dancing in general so much bigger in Europe than here people here were never like let's go dance I'm not sure I mean I guess why does any scene of any kind appear anywhere we certainly have in the UK like a good house music culture yeah uh a lot of people didn't have much else to do other than go out and party and drink yeah if the weather's bad then you we're not going to go out to the ranch we're not going to go and see the sunset we're not going to go to the beach cuz all it's [ __ ] freezing cold all the time so you kind of just zero in on the one thing that's reliable which is beer yeah pubs or clubs yeah yeah no I just remember like so many times like being in the states and having like European friends are like why don't you guys you guys don't like to go dance I was like no no one's we're not going dancing bro like No And and then I would remember like studying abroad and being like Oh yeah we would that's that was like a normal thing just go to a place that was just like packed and everybody just loud music dancing it just was one of those things where I was like it just didn't translate over here I mean there were still clubs obviously but it just wasn't the same type of oh I just want to go listen to this and literally dance like that's what people I felt like we're doing a lot more in Europe than here yeah there's a another study that just came out recently about rates of sexlessness so this has sort of been talked about for ages and there was this big study in 2018 that looked really scary and then it kind of got reversed in the GSS data then there's this new one rates of sexlessness Are Climbing among adults aged 22 to 34 stats plugged from the newly un sheathed National survey of family growth showed 10% of young males and 7% of their female counterparts saying they're still virgins that's 22 to 34 damn in some for all young adults adult males sexlessness has roughly doubled in all measures over the last 10 years for young females it's risen by roughly 50% so 24% of men 22 to 24 had not had sex in 2022 up from 9% in 2013 and for females the number was 133% up from 8% when asked if they'd had sex in the last 3 months 35% of men said no jumping from 20% and women didn't far Fair much crit with 31% up from 21 so basically not going out not partying not having sex at like not social highest rates yeah it seems so yeah so there's a there's a real real pervasive issue of L loneliness is a real thing that most people don't think about if they're not lonely if they if they have company if they have friends if they have relationships you don't realize how many people are literally lonely people like they're alone they don't have that companionship and you take it for granted I think if you're if it's not something that you have to deal with you know and then you I've have you ever met somebody who you realize is lonely in this world and it it it affects you I it affected me like where you just go like oh this person just doesn't have relationships like they're and there's you know there could be so many reasons why but what I'm saying is that it's so many more people than you think about when you're not in that position it's so many more people so many people are lonely it's I'm not surprised by it the other thing about like the sexual statistics it I was first like uh surprised when I heard one of my friends has daughters that are college age and was saying that you know he was like yeah like she all through her adolescence into High School everything just hung out with girls and she was like she doesn't she's never had the experience of like like oh guys are aggressive she was like guys don't talk to us like that's that's the world that she grew up in is like she was going to college and was like you know she was like well hope it don't get raped but that's all that's what she thinks of like men is that like they're either Predators but she just didn't Predators R cells those are the twoes she was like yeah like she just didn't have the experience of like boys trying to like hit on her or just even engage she was just like with girls and then she was like yeah guys kind and I I think there's like a lot you can deduce from that but some of it too is that like is like about the guys not necessarily but like about how those guys have been growing up in the last you know decade Plus in a different environment than like we grew up in or I grew up in right which was like they came up in this sure there's been like a feem there's a feminism cycle that's always happening but they also grew up in like me too and and all this these things that become report and like some of those boys become fearful of interacting with them they're like well I don't want to be seen as like this so and they just what happens is they just wait I'll that'll happen later like my interactions then they're 15 16 17 now they're in college and they've still yet to interact with no experience with talking with no experience so then it makes sense to when you hear a statistic like well they're 22 or 24 and they're a virgins like they're still probably like oh that that's going to happen later because me too happened as they were about to stop speaking to girls I I mean it's to me it seems like a pretty logical way to tie things in right like and these were like the dominant stories remember you couldn't get away from these stories and so I don't know to like build I mean you want you want to raise somebody I have boys you want to raise them in a healthy environment and like you know teach them how to interact with the opposite SE but like I think if you're if you don't have encouragement to like yeah try and talk and just be normal um and you're just like you you know you guys are the predators like it can be probably scary for some of those young kids the huge problem with telling men don't be pushy yeah is that the guys who need to hear it the most aren't going to take heed never and the guys who really should be encouraged more are going to take it to heart yeah that's true it's like gun laws how so well I mean like you can have the strictest gun laws but the people who really like who want guns are just going to [ __ ] get them anyway if you're sufficiently motivated you'll find a way to yeah dude you're just I mean gun laws are like you know there it they exist on paper but like if you want a gun and you're like I'm getting one and I'm going to shoot someone like that's you're not going to be like oh [ __ ] that's against the law like you're just going to you're just going to do what you want to do you know what I mean like so it's it's those are the people that that they write the laws for they write them for those guys we'll get back to talking to Tom in one minute but first I need to tell you about nomatic traveling should be about the journey not see that one hand the chaos of packing which is why I partnered with nomatic their travel pack this 14 liter is this the 14 this is the 14 liter travel pack this is the biggest life Cher from a luggage perspective that I've ever had it's what I use every single day and it makes feeling genuinely so much more enjoyable they've got compartments for everything your laptop your shoes your sunglasses the bag is so clean you have expect it to start flirting with a flight attendant and if you're still on the fence their products will last you literally a lifetime with their lifetime guarantees this is the final backpack that you ever need to buy plus you can return or exchange any product in 30 days for any reason so you can buy your new bag try it for a month if you don't like it they just give you your money back and they ship internationally and you get a 20% discount and see everything that I use and recommend including this gamechanging backpack by going to the link in the description below or heading to Nom matic.com slod wisdom that's Nom matic.com modern wisdom have you learned much about like yourself or your nature seeing it reflected back to you and your boys um a little bit yeah I mean my youngest is like a my twin and it's [ __ ] it's just he's uh he's very sensitive and he also like flies off the he's like Joe peshy though he's just like [ __ ] and you're like God damn he's 6 years old and he's just he he has the craziest mouth on him but like every time he does something like he explodes with like a reaction to something you know my wife just goes she goes that's your genetic she's like that's you I'm like you know I mean I'm talking about like if he bumps at table you know he's like what the [ __ ] why is this [ __ ] thing here I'm like then she's like you do that I'm like okay um but he's also like a very like he's really sweet and he's really sensitive very tender kid and she's like that's who you are like at your core you know you're this sweet guy and you have this exterior like this little maniac but she was like you guys are the yeah so sometimes you're like sh and the other thing that kids do is like you don't realize cuz you you interact so much with adults you know as an adult and then they'll they'll say things to you like I've I've flown off the handle been like what the [ __ ] are you guys doing like my kids will be like hey we are kids you don't talk to a kid like that and I'll be like okay sorry reverse discipline yeah like seriously and they're like why would you yell like that I'm like cuz you're painting the house you're putting pain on the house like stop painting the walls of the house and they're like okay just say it I'm like okay I shouldn't have to tell you don't paint the house you're not a we should have to tell you not to fly off the handle and yeah we shouldn't tell you not to Y you don't have to yell like that I'm like okay can you please stop painting the house so that because I have to call a real painter now to fix what you just did and they're like okay see how that worked I'm like yeah great but yeah it to it totally resets you you're like what am I on my [ __ ] mind here like yeah but it it does work yeah dude yeah it's so funny uh this I got to we got to talk about this headline the department of governmental efficiency in this Office of Management finding $50 million was earmarked to spend on condoms in Gaza do you see this no in condoms Department of governmental efficiency in the Office of Management and budget found that the Biden Administration was about to send $50 million to fund condoms for Gaza this was yesterday this is the biggest thing on Twitter at the moment and when like do we know when they were they were about to do this so they were just like stop having babies I don't know why so there's two main theories for why it might have been okay first one's moneya laundering 50 million okay lot of money laundering second one is uh a lot of Palestinians had been attaching IEDs to condoms that were filled with like refrigerant gas what IDs okay and then releasing incend devices in Israeli territory so it's like the mo it's they can float these things over and then drop IEDs drop incend devices so those are the two main theories the one that it's money laundering and the second one that it's improvised explosive condoms wait but money laundering benefiting who though I don't know yeah well it's not I actually think that's not enough money to be like a strong money laundering 50 mil 50 Milli is not that much money when you talk about the ocean well when you talk about the grand scale of like government munding uh fundings and and you know criminal laot like 50 million is not like the amount where you go like it's not like maybe they thought they could get it under the radar I don't know I don't know how useful that is but I mean it seems like I didn't know about the IID that that part is if they're like look we can't send you bombs but we'll send you some condoms and you guys know you do your little some helium in them you do your little Wizardry it's so fascinating that people can make anything useful for what because you always hear these like prison stories where they're like get the [ __ ] out of here yeah well that's how they're just like yeah these guys they made their shoelace in a toothbrush into a knife and you're like what the [ __ ] are you talking about and and then you know they can't give them anything because everything becomes a weapon right and so that I mean I would have never guessed that I thought what you were going to go with was they were just saying like look you're going to keep having sex but stop making babies cuz you you just you know like that that that would be the explanation restriction and stuff like like that yeah I mean or just like you can't you don't want to have babies in this environment so start wearing yeah that's an altruistic way to look at it it's like a logical way to go like no no no no no no no floating IEDs floating IEDs Touch by also because it's like it it it it's dark in that they if if the explanation is like look on paper we can't send you weapons but you you guys just have this you know what to do you know what to do you know what to do condom and that's our way of saying we support you too yeah we support both of you just you with condoms and you with missiles yeah imagine that that's the fight condoms versus missiles I mean it kind of is one person's throwing rocks the other one's throwing an entire technological Armory it's [ __ ] wiped out man yeah there was uh it's like the two stories that I saw yesterday the first one was about maybe these condoms are being used for IEDs and the second one was the international Doomsday Clock Federation saying it's at 89 seconds to midnight it's like the closest that it's ever been and this is how close humanity is to destruction or self-destruction or something like that I'm like if we if it's like a day clock or something or 12 hour clock and you're 89 second maybe it was at 90 or 91 or something before like we're so close now we should just move it back to like 600 p.m. and then increase the increments between it like 89 like what does that mean 89 I don't know well it's basically that uh this decision reflects concerns over nuclear risk climate change and disruptive Technologies like AI indicating a dire warning about Humanity's proximity to existential threat it's the closest point it's ever been to symbolic Global catastrophe it's like what does 89 seconds mean what does that ever mean I have no idea I'm completely lost I micro do this morning so I don't know let's [ __ ] go okay let's [ __ ] go 89 seconds I don't know I don't know what it means but I it seems to me like this um period that we're in now has got def definitely a lot more unpredictability largely because of trump it's like what's actually G to happen do you think that you know how people are always doing this thing of they're like hey the end of the world has to be near at this point like everything do you think there's ever been a time where people weren't saying that no I think it's always been a thing right but people always are like and I mean yeah Trump is like I mean he's such a polar like polarizing figure I've never seen somebody also in my opinion be so transparently themselves and have people react to that person in such extreme different like he's so clearly is who he is there is no he doesn't put up this disguise and then you have people who see it through the lens of like this is like somebody who's here to save us and you're like what and then or destroy us yeah and so like every people either see him as like this great person who has best intentions for Citizens and Country and then other people who are like this is a con man you know um but I mean it's just so insane to me that there's both views the same guy is the same guy doing the same things yeah and it's pretty I thought it was so clear who he is like he just reads so clearly it's like an you know the r shck test yeah it's like an ideological R shck test it kind of is you hey look at the tell is it bunny rabbit butterfly Sunrise like what is it yeah and some people see one and some people see the complete opposite that's a it's a fascinating thing though right when you think about it that way about this person that he can exist and be who he is say the things he says has his resume has like a clear a clear uh uh list of actions and um you know it's there there's no mystery to who this person is and people still choose to view it through we or it's not even choose it's just the way it is like human beings view this through completely different lenses it's kind of fascinating yeah have you ever met him no no I sat like six feet from him okay and uh I didn't meet him though didn't get to shake his hand I saw I saw this video of him shaking Gavin Newsome's hand and uh there's a huge debate online about who out Alfred who oh and uh because Trump does the that thing but then new like knows it's coming they must have prepped they must have like practiced the thing like this is going to be a big deal and as he pulls him in N puts his hand on his shoulder like that so you know he's like sort of pushing and pulling like that yeah yeah yeah so it's like you know how you you sort of tap someone on the but he's gone on the front so as he gets pulled in he's able to leverage it's so interesting but I don't know like the there's a bit of me I mean how long's it been in office like [ __ ] two weeks or some [ __ ] yeah it's very very quick every every morning I wake up to NPR because I like to drop my testosterone first thing in the morning sure and it's just Trump headline Trump headline Trump headline Trump headline Trump head it's like just him I kind of already a bit I had this sick of it I had this like so on the LA on his first term I got 1,000% news fatigue from that no like when when he went out of office I was like like collapsing and I I realized that actually over the last four years I consumed way less news than I used to I I used to like be kind of all day MH reading that and since he's been in office I've seen headlines I know about you know multiple executive orders but I don't even want to get into that uh that emotional investment it's almost like when you're a fan of a team like you don't really have the experience of being a sports fan unless you're emotionally invested that's really when you're a fan is when you're unless could ruin your day yeah it has to ruin your day otherwise you're not really a fan and yes you know obviously like I live in this country I want things to to go well here um I'm hoping for the best but I cannot emotionally invest in Trump news and and just what's happening with this Administration like I did the first time because it just frankly takes up too much energy and too much time and I do not I have a number of things going on and I do not want to be it's it's also a distraction it's not really affecting you the way you think it is you know you you start to like hear these things and and then you just bark at your friend about it you know you're like you [ __ ] believe this [ __ ] it's like it's not really affecting most people uh in the way that they think it is and they say it is it just isn't like in the way that most presidents in there don't really change your life that much so now I know there's people that are going to hear this and be like well you know it kind of affected my life because X Y and Z happened okay so there's things that are exceptions to that but for the most part like what the president is doing whoever the president is it doesn't really affect your life that much you can choose to invest in such a way where it starts to do like literally it's like the the energy of your day went into reacting to what this person that did that you either love or hate and it's like I don't I can't do it well think about you're worried about the outcomes of the policy or whatever maybe that'll impact you maybe it won't but you can ruin your day worrying about woring about no matter regardless of what happens this thing does or doesn't happen it doesn't matter your day's already been ruined by worrying about what it is that's gone on like I don't know political anxiety or something it reminds me of like the fear of of conversations like confrontation like when you go uh Chris did something I don't want to talk to him about it but like [ __ ] and you start to like play in your head all the ways that it could go you know what I mean and you have like this anxiety building in inside of you of like and you to avoid and avoid and avoid and then it's just like just have the conversation and and you realize that the worry about the conversation is worse than the conversation itself right like the all everything leading up to that it's all in your head but I don't want to have all this exercise in my mind where I'm just like so emotionally drained by what the president is doing you know it's like I feel that as a distraction isn't it interesting that like our fear of fear is so much worse than whatever it is that we've got to fear yeah like just reliably yes it's like uh you learn that you can actually if you're in your 20s you can start you know I think getting into the practice of like you learn that like having because conversations are a thing that I think really make people scared communicating with people about like what you want what you need uh like those types of things it those aren't enhan ently you're not just like good at that you you have to get into it and like the younger you can get into the practice of doing it this is what I think this is how I feel oh my God you're in a totally different group you're in a totally different group than the people who you know repress and just shut down like I mean that's how I was built like just don't talk about it yeah don't talk don't you don't have needs subjugate them your desires aren't worthy yeah there's no point in doing this you just shut down and then yeah that's going to show itself somewhere else yeah uh Neil Strauss says unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments and people just have this like sense well you should have known like I wanted this thing you go well you didn't [ __ ] tell me yeah how do you but now I'm resentful about the fact that you didn't do the thing that I didn't ask you to do you I resent you for not knowing my thoughts is what you're try if you yeah if if we were really friends and that's you would have known this that is an unrealistic expectation to put on somebody yeah and sometimes the the it's you that needs to go like oh yeah myself yeah yeah I mean so I mean some people like you really can put that work in you can realize that earlier in life this there's actually like a similar thing I think for like health and fitness which we were talking about which is like they're not tied to communication but you realize that there's some people who they get it kind of beat into them how important that is Young and they they stay they stick with it and look man it's a lot I want to say it's easy but it's easier to stay and maintain in your good health and fitness than it is to get way out of it and go back there so like if you're a young person and you are you know I one of my friends said one time he goes you know I've never been out of shape you know like I I was training as a teen and he's like I've just never been out of shape I'm like oh yeah like he's like so I just you make that that priority that's a way better thing and I think there's a parallel for learning how to communicate about yourself if you can work on those skills of like standing up for yourself learning to talk about things that are bothering you or feeling or whatever and you can maintain and build on that in in a in a younger age you're way ahead you're way ahead that assertiveness something that you struggled with when you were younger a th% I mean I don't I didn't have a good model for it honestly you know like I I think like my dad was somebody that just like he was a just kind of shut down and take it and so I kind of I feel like I was just like oh like if something is bothering you you just kind of you just deal with it yeah yeah you just deal with it and I think I totally modeled that behavior you know of just just okay like just just push it down MH so yeah it took years I think of of it bothering you enough to realize yeah then and then you of course explode right because you you just repressing things you have all of these resentments that build up over time yeah and then it it just kind of shows itself in other ways but yeah I mean I've gotten to a place I think where I at the very least an awareness of like you have to communicate and you know be I've become much more assertive and i' you know say what I want and talk to people way differently than I did 10 15 20 years ago it's strange that we I have that too uh lots of people have lots of discomfort around advocating for themselves yeah so the only way you can serve anybody else is if you're you can whatever the serve people from the sorcer that overflows around your cup like how how are you going to sort anybody else if you if your stuff hasn't been sorted and uh yeah you know there's this stat about it's the likelihood that people ensure their dog completes a course of antibiotics is 95% the likelihood that they complete a course of antibiotics is 50% you were literally better at looking after an animal than we are at looking after ourselves that makes total sense I also think that there's something where like you know like if you have a friend like it's more likely that I would advocate for you harder than I would for myself way easier yeah it's way easier to do yeah like and really dig in to how [ __ ] dare you tell oh yeah yeah like yeah but yeah you'll really stand up for them but then you'll be encouraging to them like I'm going to fight on your behalf but once we're done I'll come don't worry man like you know you you tried your best it's like the level of support yeah that's self oh my God the way that you talk to friends about any of their struggles and like how they should see themselves versus how we talk to ourselves when I heard that first broken down I was like oh my God like I'm so abusive I'm a criminal yeah like it's like yeah you talk the way I talk to myself like I I have much less self-loathing these days than I did like everything always rears its head and you Al and it's it's not I don't feel like you get like this is done right but it when something peaks in like that I feel like it it has a much shorter shelf life CU you realize it's it's it is not very loving um there there's no acceptance there and it's it's ultimately it's it's not productive what's productive is like taking action on whatever the thing is so like I I just feel like whenever like even like if it's like fitness health and you like you [ __ ] a piece of [ __ ] sitting around doing nothing look at this [ __ ] gut or whatever it is that it doesn't really I I could sit in that if I wanted to and I have before for a long time but it just like no it's like today now let's go right like whether it's what you're eating or let's go train and you just feel like you know with even with like creative things you you get in these like self-loathing kind of ruts also about like what your productivity is whether you're writing a script or you're on stage but sitting in that you just realize it just you just fall deeper into it and you just it does you don't do anything the older you get the more you just realize the only solution for this feeling is just action so like what I just do in those moments when I feel that is I open my laptop or I get a pen or I just go to a get on stage and I go I'm forcing myself even if this [ __ ] bombs and like I don't want to sit in that feeling of like I suck cuz I and also like I wouldn't do it to you right like if if you were like I suck I wouldn't be like you know you do suck man like you should just sit here and do nothing I would be like get up let's go let's go do something let's go train whatever let's let's work on a project like so you just learn I think with age and experience that action is like it really is the the big solve I I that's the one thing I I would tell I told you I don't like to advise like young artists and I really don't but the one thing I would feel fortable telling them is like doing something is the way to getting where you want to go I don't care if you're a painter or a writer or an actor or a comedian like you're not going to achieve any of that by sitting here and feeling bad about yourself go ahead if you want to but the way out of this is by doing the thing you have to act Once Upon a Time Tom seura used to look like Bert ker ate Tom seura but those days AG because Tom took control of his health and with function you can take control of yours without any of the guesswork they run lab tests twice a year that monitor over a 100 biomarkers their team of expert Physicians then takes the data puts it in a simple dashboard and gives you insights and actionable recommendations to improve your health and lifespan they track everything from your heart health to your hormone levels thyroid function and even nutrient deficiencies they even screen for 50 types of cancer at stage one which is five times more data than you get from an annual physical getting your blood work done an analyze like this would usually cost thousands but with function it is only $500 and right now you can bypass their weight list and get the exact same blood panels that I get by going to the link in the description below or heading to function health.com slod wisdom that's function health.com modern wisdom well if you think that action really is the only thing that matters in the end and what you're trying to achieve presumably by calling yourself a piece of [ __ ] internally is motivating yourself to go and do the action you go okay so what I think is independent of the action so if I can just go and do the action I don't need to make myself unnecessarily suffer beforehand that's just an addiction to me always seeing me like the villain or like the loser or like the person that doesn't get anything done and has there ever been a time when you've gone and done something without calling yourself a piece of [ __ ] for doing it yeah loads of times all the time all the time you got do stuff without first like [ __ ] whipping yourself into submission yeah okay so try and continue to shortcut that calling yourself a piece of [ __ ] thing just go straight to I'm just going to do the thing I'm just going to try and do the thing and uh yeah there's a an idea around there are so many people working so hard and achieving so little and I think the same about the internal landscape of people's minds there are so many people thinking so meanly about themselves and having so few outcomes from it it's like okay so the reason you want to go and do something is presumably to make your life better and in the process of trying to motivate yourself to go and do something to make your life better you make your life [ __ ] miserable it's like you're sacrificing the thing that you want for the thing that's supposed to get the thing that you want and then you realize well the more that I call myself a piece of [ __ ] actually kind of doesn't really motivate me yeah all that much it's kind of like a toxic fuel that doesn't last that long maybe it gets me in a really really bad situation really really like down in my health or whatever it is or I'm young you go after a while it's just habit and routine it's people get addicted to the suffering right and and what you need to what you try to get to is just it's actually looking at that that voice as almost like a a sign you're passing on a highway you just kind of look and you go like oh yeah there's that like I think that's a place you want and then hopefully one day it's not it's not even there at all it's in the it's in the past but yeah the longer you're in the cycle of being productive the less that voice is there and the less it lasts and the more you see it for what it is which is like it's a nuisance and it's an obstacle and you and it's an enemy as well it's not your friend it's not your friend your mind's not your friend when it's doing that yeah at all yeah but it is something that again like I think so many people think that that's just them you know what I mean like they just go like man I'm the only one with these like dude it's yeah your therapist has those thoughts like for real it's funny as well a lot of people I think that maybe have those kinds of thoughts um have high goals for themselves and they've probably maybe started to make some movement toward them so you go wow so you believe that you have agency in the real world you think that your efforts can uh cause an outcome to happen and you know your um the fact that you moved out of the house a little bit younger than most of your friends or the fact that you changed that career that you didn't really like or you know when you acquired that skill that you really really wanted why do you think that happened like well because I worked at it I worked really hard okay so you're you're telling me that you and your agency can influence the world outside of you yes okay you know the texture of your mind you know the way that you think like do you think that you have agency over everything and then that for some reason stops at the boundary of your skull yeah so like the only thing that you actually do directly have agency over which is what's happening inside of your mind is the one place that you don't you feel like you're a victim most help yeah most helpless in there and it's such a paradox right it's like I even people have even been able to um save relationships you know my partner really wasn't sure that this was going to work and I proved to them that that this was the right thing and now we're married and we're so happy and we're all the rest oh well so it's not even like you think that you have more agency over other people I know than you do over the way that you think but it just shows you like like all this just makes me think about how complicated the human mind and experience is it just it like you know when you go to like talk about like health and weight loss right there's so many people who you go like do you know what to do like do you know what to do to do it and so many people are like yeah just eat this and do this and you're like so what is the holdup right well the holdup is that sure that formula is simple but existing in the world and dealing with life and emotions and thoughts is not that simple and so the execution of this plan sometimes it just doesn't go as simply as it kind of should right like that it being a human being is complicated it just is we have sophist we're sophisticated minds and and and entities on this in this it speaks to like what you were just saying it's like how can you have so much control over this situation but not here it's like you know I mean how can you not know to eat some [ __ ] chicken and go on a walk it's like well you do but it's just being here is is more complicated than that it just is I remember you told this story about a friend of yours who got diagnosed with real late stage cancer and he was like I'm gonna beat this you're like dude yeah you tell that this was like is so insane I I it one it was like my closest high school friend and he came to see me uh do a show in Palm Beach and I remember uh we walked back from we went to a bar that was near the hotel and we walked back to the hotel and he was like he's overweight he was like really huffing and puffing sweating and I was like God I was like I'm fat but you're a [ __ ] mess like I like that was hard for you like we just walked like on a you know no Hill just like straight down the street it's like all right well it is Florida you know it's humid or whatever and the next day uh I think they yeah they spent the night and they were driving back so then and then the day after that I go I was living in La I get back to LA and another friend was like oh did you hear what happened I was like here what happened I didn't what do you mean oh yeah on their way back to their house my friend's wife was like I don't like the way you look or you're breathing so we're just going to stop by the emergency room and like kind of you know convinced him to they go to the emergency room he gets x-ray he's got tumors everywhere he's got stage four lung cancer and it's like and so this is how I find out on this call and then you know I he goes immediately into treatment right and they're like yeah this is you know this is basically as bad as it can get so his brother finds the specialist who treats this particular type of cancer in Indianapolis he's doing like trips from like Florida Indianapolis I go visit him in the hospital and you know he's this is like I don't know maybe a month has gone by or something so he's deep into his chemo he's bald he's lost 80 pounds or something and like I'm like everybody's face is kind of like you know you could just read it doctors spouse friends everyone's like it's good that you're here you know and you're like yeah and then him he's just like yeah man just doing this and like you know I'll beat this thing and then maybe uh by the way in the summer we can go to this and I'm like what the [ __ ] and I'm like oh he's just like crazy you know and I'm like does does he understand the gravity of this and they're like I mean I think so but I always told him I go I think you're dumb enough to think you can do this and and I actually remember that like when my uncle my uncle was like a world-renowned urologist and when he got uh mesoa I remember my dad being like you know it's it's he's too smart he knows how to read these charts like he just he's like he knows he's going to die he knows he just he he there's just no and I I I say it jokingly but I feel like my friend was also like uninformed and determined obviously to just be like yeah I mean I know this sucks and this this treatment sucks but I'll be fine and like believe it believe and they consider him like in this field and and especially with like in this specialty as like a a a true Miracle he beat it yeah he's been in remission for what is it now like seven or more year I forget how many years now and he beat it and he's and he's and like right away by the way you're like he's like he drinks he [ __ ] dips he eats like [ __ ] and you're like like doesn't that scare you into a a different lifestyle he's like huh oh you're [ __ ] [ __ ] he's got a watermelon head so maybe there's just like air in there I don't know but yeah no he doesn't take like particularly good care of himself which is a look this it's further into like the the convers we're talking about like how minds work it's like I remember when my dad uh also I was at the same this is Fu I just realized this right now I was at the same Comedy Club this is more than 10 years ago this is like closer to 15 years ago in Florida and he came to a show and also didn't look good and was also breathing heavy stop going to that comedy club I know right killing people and my mom also made him go to the emergency room on the way home and he had 98% blockage in his one of his arteries so they did an emergency stint right open up the artery which is like fairly common but obviously like if it's one of those things like if he didn't do that he probably would had a heart attack in the next whatever couple weeks or something and like I don't know when he got out of the hospital you know you feel this relief at the time and like the next time I called him CU we would talk like almost every day I was like where are you like I'm at McDonald's and I'm like didn't you just get an emergency stint put in like for your clogged arteries yeah I know and I'm just having a McMuffin like what the [ __ ] man and I'm like don't you want to like you know go oh thank you for this new lease on life and eat differently he's like what you're like okay like people just are who they are you know in some cases like I I would think I don't know maybe it's just like in in like when I I broke my [ __ ] arm and tore my patella tendon and I view like some of that was just like a catalyst of like oh I need to take better care of myself so I guess it's just how you're wired I guess in a way right where you're like I don't want to be to learn from experience so I guess I'm friends with stupid people I don't know like yeah like I don't know I was like you don't want to start eating healthier CU your arteries are clogged and he was like it's a McMuffin I'm like okay my friend beats cancer and you're like how much tobacco are you consuming every day he's like I don't know like you know there's a correlation right to the thing that you narrowly beat and what you're doing every day yeah it's yeah before we continue I've tried pretty much every green drink that I could find trying to work out which one was best and I came across ag1 they've stuck it stuck it stuck with it for years because it's literally the best it's the most comprehensive it's the most rigorously tested and best formulation and if I found anything better I would switch but I haven't which is why I still use it and I got my parents to use it I got my friends to use it and I put it inside of my body every single day this is NSF certified for sport meaning that every batch is not only held to strict standards for heavy metals but also is tested for 280 band substances one scoop of ag1 contains 7 five vitamins minerals and Whole Food sourced ingredients including a multivitamin multi-mineral pre and probiotic green superfood blend and more that all work together to fill the nutritional gaps in your diet increases energy and focus aids with digestion and supports a healthy immune system all without the need to take multiple products or pills and if you're still unsure they've got a 90-day money back guarantee so you can buy it and try it every single day for three months and if you do not like it they'll just give you your money back right now you can get a your's free Supply vitamin D3 K2 and five free ag1 travel packs plus that 90-day money back guarantee by going to the link in the description below or heading to drink a1.com wisdom that's drink a1.com modern wisdom have you ever seen the midwit meme do you know what that is oh dude so imagine a a bell curve it's an IQ bell curve and on the left hand side's this sort of Neanderthal looking meme guy with the heavy brow and then in the middle at the top is the sort of raging lib guy and then on the far side is the sage that's got his hood up looking like a Jedi and the joke is that the guy on the left and the guy on the right always arrive at the same conclusion and the guy in the middle tries to over complicate it so we we've spent me and George my friend have spent I'm not kidding like months talking about this he sent me another meme about it this morning it's like the most I think it's the most philosophically important meme because uh let's say it's getting in shape yeah lift weights eat protein lift weights eat protein I must ensure that my predigested way is consumed within 30 minute window I have to make sure that my blue blockers are put on before like it's just the guy in the middle ruins everything is over complicating things and what you've got what you found is a bunch of people that are on the left and here's the thing that people don't get about the midwit me this is we've refined this over a million dinners every guy in the middle is a guy on the left trying to be the guy on the right that's for sure you can't be the guy in the right it's impossible to be the guy on the right the only thing you can be is the guy on the left and some people just don't know they're the guy on the left some people are aware of precisely correct precisely correct yes so there's some people who are naturally gifted with that now they've got some challenges too that maybe they're going to get hit by things that they didn't quite see you know it rolling the dice and having these sorts of stories where like the miraculous recovery because of this guy's it's like uh it's like inability to realize how ridiculous his goals are because he's not trying to be the guy in the right and ending up being the guy in the middle he's like I'm going to beat this thing yeah uh but yeah you can't be the guy on the right you can only be the guy on the left so what you're trying to cultivate it's like cultivated stupidity is the best you can hope for if you don't if you're not gifted with it if you're not gifted with like ah you got the natural stupidity congratulations like if you didn't have that it's like you just need to be okay I'm going to default to being the simple thing not trying to be the over complex thing which ends up being the simple thing anyway but what you end up doing is just being stuck in the middle you don't want to be the loud dumb guy just be dumb and quiet basically like the nothing worse than like the IGN most ignorant people are always like yelling about it and you're just like man you just don't you don't want to have to be like that do you ever think because another bellur thing somebody I forgot who brought this to my attention was the idea that you know there's a the average IQ is like a 100 and then you think of like people with developmental issues who are you know let's say technically under 70 right it's like yeah and you kind of go oh yeah average is it but then you go like do you realize how many people are 90 80 75 like it's not a couple it's millions and millions of for that to be the average that like you're surrounded by a lot of noise from people that are barely putting sentences together you know and you can you if you stop and have enough conversations you'll figure it out like there's a lot of nonsense that you should ignore and they have a voice too and the best thing you can do is tune them out like seriously there's like yeah I mean you might not be on the far other side of that equation where you're you're not 140 or something but if you're even just lucky enough to be blessed with the average or slightly around there there's a lot of people you should not be listening to there's a really interesting stat that guys in high school who have got IQs of 70 are more likely to not be virgins than guys in high school got IQs of 130 well like stupid people only know how to [ __ ] that is kind of a thing right I mean I've been to those countries and they're underdeveloped and that's what their whole currency is they're just like I [ __ ] so it's not crazy to me to they yeah they have their own showering system they're there's a lot of sand but dumb people if you ask a lot of chicks like who is the best [ __ ] of your life they're going to be like it was a dumb guy that guy was a machine didn't over complicated he yeah he just got in there and knew what to do and like that's his if you're dumb I mean that might be like the thing you're best at you know because it feels good it's like it's this dumb equation you're like touch this it feels good they that makes sense to them I feel like they're not they're not introspective they're not going to have any well they don't get in their own head about it right they're not the they're not the urologist reading his sheets no just in the moment they're just in the moment and they just go the guy on the left is the best [ __ ] in the world who knew he definitely is it's definitely not the guy on the far right no no well yeah I I don't know the uh the idea of trying to be a little bit more simplistic another perfect example of this um in atomic Habits by James Clear he talks I think it's like the head of the Chinese weightlifting team and there super advant they're getting these kids from like 5 years old right it's a religion weightlifting in China uh and and he asked what is the difference between the guys who are world champions and the rest of the elite and he said the guys that are world champions are prepared to come in and do the boring things without complaining and realizing that it's not supposed to be there it's like oh okay so if you have this cultivated stupidity where you can say look this is going to suck and I shouldn't rail against the fact that it sucks um Matt Fraser who won the CrossFit Games five six times in a row uh he did an engineering degree and there's a story in chasing Excellence by Ben beron where he says I uh he would wrote memorize his entire engineering textbook page for page and if he got one word wrong he'd go back to the start and do it again so this guy basically very very smart very very driven but then he had to have this cultivated stupidity thing if you're going to go and do monor structural work on a a rowing machine or a ski or a a air Runner or whatever you need to go any go this is going to be 90 minutes at 140 BPM it's the Zone 2y boring it's the most boring it's not even going to give me the satisfaction of feeling like I've worked yeah yeah like I've got to just sit time in know I know that it's going to help my steady state kind of uh you know conditioning improve go slow to go fast and so like it's kind of back to the thing though that like those Elite athletes are either so smart that they know to be the guy in the left or they are the guy in the left left who just goes show up and do it this feels good the [ __ ] midw m is is undefeated but I mean that's why I have a I I find it interesting when sports stars get criticized for boring or basic postmatch interviews I do too it it's I it what did you expect yeah and also we didn't he didn't sign up to be a great interview you know he or she like they that that's not part of that you're making that you're you're putting that on them that they have to be fantastic and charismatic because you're using your own barometer for what you consider to be successful as a non-elite athlete yeah this person is just [ __ ] hitting forehands and backhands that's what they're supposed to be good at lift weights hit bow that's it and like they they did it well so like whatever comes after that is like you know you're projecting onto them oh I can't believe that they said this or they had an attitude why or that didn't give like an eloquent answer like this supposed to supposed to be a philosopher it's like it's a [ __ ] Neanderthal half the time for every for every Tom Brady or Aaron Rogers there's like 200 guys on the left like someone that I've thought really deeply about this I understand exactly what it means to me etc etc tell you one sport that actually feels like that's not the case where everybody is the guy on the right Formula 1 I don't see many people many of the drivers in Formula 1 Dean is any in Formula One is Dean here anyone in Formula One the guy on the left is there any like Neanderthal super simple like drive car fast go sideways people Danny Ricardo maybe but he's more like the party guy in the left he's like the guy in the left but in a party hat uh but you know what I mean if you like Danny is though he's a pretty nuanced thinker like he has this he has this Persona of like cuz is like fun that but then you sit with him and you talk and you realize yeah these these guys are all oh [ __ ] you went to that that's where you met Zach at that party right weren you at some F1 party was that not something to do with Danny Ricardo last was it last year or the year before yeah yeah yeah I'd met Danny uh at in Australia at his place I went to and then when he had his party that's right Zach was at that thing here yeah everyone accused him of being a Pedro Pascal from wish that's right on Instagram I mean he looks a lot like [ __ ] Pedro Pascal does it's not a bad thing man it's got a good thing going on um I thought the new hair was for a new part I was like what are you what are you in yep um no but you're right those guys are they're pretty bright they're pretty bright guys um maybe there's some correlation between high performance driving and you can't be a box of rocks to I just there's certain things that are so technical yeah uh I would imagine for instance golf uh I don't know golf but I would imagine that it's probably pretty difficult to be a golfer and also be the guy on the left because a high level one yeah yeah because and most of the well I guess there's other factors most of the time when you see these most PGA people had a certain upbringing they're usually well educated you know that sport is usually associated with a certain socioeconomic level I mean it obviously there's people who have started elsewhere but for the most part you find it in well-to-do you know environments and people who have a certain level of education but you're right there's there's not a lot of I don't know like Back N [ __ ] I've thought this I've thought this through really carefully yeah yeah well that's the difference if you were to go I'm going to again I'm going to NASCAR at Kota in a couple of weeks time so please don't take this the wrong way I don't imagine that the NASCAR drivers have quite the same mentality that the Formula 1 drivers do I imagine you could get some more guys on the left in NASCAR despite the fact that it's probably a very similar sort of sport yes that's 100% true for sure yeah I mean there's yeah the Formula One guys for the most part are more sophisticated yeah but also yeah I mean there's definitely some really bright people whove done the NASCAR and then there's some people who just go like [ __ ] foot down fo down just hold on baby yeah yeah yeah that's definitely true and then like I think you find more guys on the left if you're talking about violent Sports too right so like for I mean no one's going to Nate Diaz for like his sort of deep philosophical insights about stuff but holy [ __ ] yeah he's going to annihilate you and there's that you know I've heard these stories about his and his brother's un like they do triathlons and sort of this endurance racing thing their ability to put their head down I don't like that's one that I you know you always you're drawn to do things that you naturally have some skill at right right or it feels good to do and then we you naturally you reject things where you're like I this doesn't I don't I'm not good at this and I don't like this like with sport right like you just always are like doing the things you have some skill at and you're like I don't like this other thing these [ __ ] ultramarathon people like part of it I realized is that like it's just not in me and not I don't even understand this mental aspect I've talked to a few I'm like I I don't understand you're doing this 150 mile horrible idea like how but like that just speaks to like it's again I feel like you want to be the guy on the left for that you don't want to have as much awareness there's certain Sports where it's it's a real competitive Advantage there's this kid called Ned Brockman out of Australia so I I when I did my tour over there I had him on the show he ran a thousand kilometers or a thousand miles around a track uh and it took him just over a week and he like his shins were just torn apart and he's got shaved on top like the classic Aussie like real Aussie mullet not one not one of these trendy wanky Austin things you know where there's like a bit of hair up top to make it balance it's like like theovon theovon basically and he he did that he ran across Australia tried to break the record for running across Australia and you speak to him in particular and you're like I was trying to find the goggin's ancestral trauma void yeah inside of him sure I'm like oh you're just you're just doing this because you like the thrill of it like you're just doing this because run far feel good and uh yeah it's it's I wonder I wonder how people can kind of get out of their own head so a lot of the different things that we' touched on to do with the the self loathing the criticism that internal voice all of those things are putting limits on your self belief in Your Capacity M and then making you think well maybe maybe you can't do that or maybe you shouldn't do that or maybe in the pursuit of even doing that you should hate yourself a little bit more and I'm like okay how can we I want to work out how to cultivate how people that are uh intrinsic overthinkers can create a little bit more cultivated stupidity I think that would be like I don't know hit hit everyone on the head [ __ ] micro do of mushrooms smoke weed on the M I don't know no we all I mean I think we we all have this thing where we o we can overthink you can make like I remember talking to someone about like for instance production when you go I'm going to shoot something you can always find reasons to not do the thing well this is just going to be it's I mean it's going to be a night shoot or it's going to cost this or I don't know if we're going to get the right sound person and I don't the makeup is not g like you can just find reasons to not do things I guess it goes back for me to just if whether you're underthinking overthinking just just take action in any you know what I mean so like overthinking that production thing is something that happens to so many people like I'm using the example of production but this just happens for like whatever thing they want to do career change yeah career change or like even something pleasurable yeah talk to the girl go on a trip H we're going to go skiing and you're like you know I don't know if I have the goggles and I have to go get them and you're like dude like we we talk ourselves out of a lot of things whether it's like production pleasure um it's just it's honestly all these things are just like it's life it's like it's it's being in the game like people you want to be in the game right whe whether it's like in work or in in your own love life or whatever you don't want to be on the side you don't want to be not to like pile on but you don't want to be one of the lonely people and those people there's a lot of reasons where someone can up in that situation but one of them is definitely they're talking themselves out of things talking out of engaging yeah that's so interesting well there's a vicious spiral you know you sort of touched on it earlier on that when you've got good habits they feed your good habits and then you believe in yourself more but the same thing happens in Reverse yes and it's such a I understand why people on the internet rail against anybody that appears to have had runaway success because they go if you're not that if you're using the same Dynamic but in Reverse which is you've got runaway failure that [ __ ] sucks and I've been there I've been in the I I just continue I reliably face plan every single thing that I try to do from the smallest to the biggest and I need to use the I don't know how to do but I need to like rip this 10ton gorilla off the floor attached to a barbell I need to like find a way to reverse this momentum and then when you're on the other side of it you almost have this sense of like Survivor Guild like retrosp like oh holy [ __ ] this is this is me feeling the win that that was the loss of yeah and um I had this conversation this guy William Von hipple fascinating Anthropologist evolutionary psychologist yesterday he was telling me about how uh two fundamental needs that humans have one is autonomy and the other one is connection and the thing is if you've got a hierarchy everybody needs connection and his belief is fundamentally that's what everybody's after they want to be warm they want to be friendly they want to be valued weird thing is in order to be valued autonomy allows you to build up some of that uh some of the capacities so you need to be selfish you need to go if you're good at comedy there is a degree of connection you've had to sacrifice to do that because you don't do comedy in Union with your wife or in Union with your friends or whatever you have to spend a lot of time if you're Steph Curry and you shoot 3,500 threep pointers in training I know that you've had to sacrifice some connection in order to be able to build up that autonomy right and the autonomy then creates this like capability people value the capability thing but what they really really want is the connection so there's this fascinating bit of research that shows that people who are more competent as seen as colder regardless of how friendly they are and people who are more incompetent as seem as more warm and friendly regardless of how warm and friendly they are and there's this sense that huh I'm I sort of infer from someone's capabilities and whether or not they're uh smart or successful or whatever hey you're not very pro-social because if you're rich or you've achieved status or you've you've done a thing you you've lost all of this weight Adele like you've lost all of this weight you were there's this bit in the back of our mind that kind of knows like you were selfish for a while like you had to work on you you had to be selfish for a while whereas you don't have the same in the opposite direction I thought that was so interesting this sort of tension between competence and warmth and the fact that we see them as opposed to each other competent people seen as cold and incompetent people are seen as warm that is and as you said it I was just nodding along because it feels like one of those things where you realize it's kind of automatic like it's it's it's like you know the the test where they say that um and they use every like Psychology 101 department does this where they have the person carry the books and they drop them in front of and and they have an attractive person do it everyone's like hey here you go like it's just it's automatic it's in your brain and then people are people are uh colder or or I would say more um inviting and warm and wanting to be help to natur to Attractive people that's another thing that's just like automatic like if you're in a somebody's like lost and you just go yeah but like the competency is really interesting because I've I never actually heard it's one of those things where it's like can stand up when somebody articulates a thing that's always been there and you go like no one's ever [ __ ] said it but it's interesting that we have we do have yeah like you feel naturally warmer to somebody like somebody can't figure something out you I guess that's kind of like a in a way that's a good thing where you go I'm let me embrace this like help you want you want to help the person who is seemingly incompetent at least to a degree right yeah yeah some well sometime but then there's a a there's a point of frustration with that too [ __ ] God damn it um but the more interesting thing is is the other side of it the fact that you would have a perception that a highly competent person is just cold yeah well the other you know you Trump's kind of maybe an interesting example around you could argue about his level of competence but he's not stupid um and I I wonder whether a little bit of it is if somebody's really competent there's this sense in the back of your mind where you go are they really being themselves mhm is this them or is this some sort of sub fuge act thing that they're trying Secret Squirrel Society me and and and fugazy me whereas there's I mean I you know I look at um a a bunch of different people whether it's in sport whether it's in entertainment the sort of simple lovable O type character yeah there is this sense of warmth to them because you go hey he might make some errors but he owns those errors and they're from the heart the errors that are kind of like natural outgrowth they're not manipulative they're not being done for some particular reason he's not being speaks to fear though right because what the thing is is you're less scared of that o you're you're more scared of the very intelligent person it's always been this way somebody who's like highly intelligent part of your brain just goes what's this person capable of doing to me that's that's really at the root of what you're going what you're feeling you're feeling that this highly intelligent person is either going to be is going to want like pull something over on you uh they're going to get you to do something you didn't want to do this information against me yeah what should I tell them that's exactly what your brain's doing is it's like it's protecting itself the O The Lovable oath you don't have to worry about that your guard goes down completely you go this is like a puppy you know like there there's there's nothing uh uh going on behind this person's eyes that I can't pick up on this person just wants to whatever they say is what they want and so like that's the thing is that we're just kind of protecting ourselves with the highly competent person well you know I guess one of the interesting areas of this is lots of people that listen to podcasts of the endemic overthinkers they're the people that are trying to learn more about the world and they're spending time doing that even now as it seems like the podcast election and every it's like I think only about 50% of Americans listen to a podcast once a month and then you've got the power users that listen to the multiple hours per day but you think okay so you're probably listen to podcast I do you do I do yeah yeah yeah uh it's changed my listening habits have changed a lot since doing the show um and I think in order to kind of be fresh there's an amount of exposure that you need to limit yourself to yeah or else you end up being too heavily influent I imagine that watching other Comics is probably like this as well yeah you you really just want to like I mean the thing is I get so much anxiety watching this sounds like bad but like just watching somebody not I I only want to watch really good comics in person so like if somebody's really good I want to watch that if they're not I don't want to watch why I just I I think you you you're feeling you know all those things the feelings of trying to figure it out and the insecurities and like and also there's tired bits and like there's you know like you're watching a seven-year guy you're like this is like the best version of this is not great anyway so you don't want to's a seven-year guy like a guy who's been doing it just like he's still in like this development phase and so you just go like it just makes me I just don't want to be around it I I I want to watch like high level people I want to watch because it's um it's really good it is inspiring it makes you go like [ __ ] like ah [ __ ] I need to I need to write more like th those are the people I want to watch which I mean that's my own thing right like I but I also know a lot of people like that like I can't stand in the back of the room and just watch a like person after person go up who's like fledgling and trying to figure it out oh that's kill Tony that is what kill Tony is for a kill Tony is well yeah but you've got a release valve the difference with that is got a pressure release valve true uh so I wonder the only totally broci s this pulling it out of my ass um this has to be the same I would guess if you to watch if you were a musician watching a musician not perform particularly well on stage I continually Miss notes and do other bits in fact I know that this is the case I know that this is the case firsthand from being in Jamaica recently uh I wonder whether there's a bit of it where you're starting to tune your own nervous system to like the this Sensation that you're working really really really hard to avoid you're watching this person do the thing that you do MH and going I'm feeling I've got PTSD yeah it is there's there's definitely PTSD part part of this is bringing it back into me I've worked really hard to get rid of that I don't want that in my world exactly no that that's definitely happening it's definitely happening you you you're it's triggering hundreds and thousands of like bad memories bad memories yeah and you just are like and you like you can just see like you you see all of a sudden you you see the these micro movements of like oh I see that discomfort I see where this is going I know what this top like this is just I I this is bad I want to leave so I I want to leave literally leave the room and then if you tell me like somebody's on stage who you go this person's really good I yeah I want to watch that that feels good it actually relaxes me like I feel I feel Rel well it could go yes yeah it relaxes me I wonder what the I wonder what the sort of common lesson is there or what the sort of rule is there to try and spend time watching people but you're but you're right on Kil Tony though in that um you know in those P people are doing like a minute and that anxiety in me can build high in that minute I mean I've sat up there where I'm like and then you just [ __ ] waiting for that cat to meow you're like oh thank God like just yeah it's it's there's a very uncomfortable feeling people we don't all react to it the same way I think though but for a comedian who's done it yeah you start to feel what they're feeling yeah yeah it's such an such an emotional area yeah I I really do think that the that cultivated stupidity thing and trying to trying to simplify down trying to not to not not hold yourself to too high standards but just realize that the outcome that you're trying to achieve only really depends on the actions that you're going to take and all of this [ __ ] that you've got going in all of the stories that you tell yourself all of the rumin all of the fear of of the conversation all of the concern about whether should I be assertive but what they're going to say I had this really lovely question on a Q&A last week that said um I know that I deserve more but I'm really terrified to ask for I didn't specify what the situation was maybe something at work maybe something in a relationship maybe something with family or whatever um like I know that I deserve more but I'm really scared of asking for it it's like what an odd but totally relatable toally relatable thing situation to be in it's like I know that this is something that I'm allowed that I can have that I should have and they probably know too and I'm still in my head about all of this the same thing goes for your Pursuits your professional life your personal life all of that stuff yeah that's that's a extremely Universal question right and I mean my immediate thought is like I I can't help but think about like actually in entertainment like in what in what I do is that you come into it feeling like that you're like I want these things and then you have representation but you view representation as like Mom and Dad which is not how you're supposed to do it how so cuz you're young and you go like can I is it okay would you approve of me do you think I can and then it cultivates these this relationship a lot of young actors and comedians have this like kind of Twisted relationship with their first reps right which is why a lot of times you people hit the next phase in their life and they change if they can because they need they need a relationship that's more equal as opposed to like this weird power yeah that's not supposed to really be there because it's like with the woman you go like but I want but I don't feel like I should say to that person it's like there's certain people you just feel like you can't say the thing too which is fine I think that's a normal thing you need to then switch the person that you're talking to that you can speak like that to and that's what happens a lot in our field I would say like that people want to ask for things and they're scared to I like well then you need to change who you're asking you know I mean obviously you need to get to the point where you feel like you can ask for these things but sometimes you just don't feel like you can say certain things to certain people what have you learned about human psychology through this Le recent obsession with True Crime mine mhm recent I mean 40 years vestigal long time yeah um I mean I just feel like crime and you know behaviors um of criminals is a I don't understand how somebody's not fascinated by how other human beings can act I think there's something about crime in it in and of itself that is so accessible that that's part of in other words you can go into the bank and Rob it you've gone in there before but you you you you I'm fascinated by the fact that somebody does that right like I was just there I'm in line I see what they're seeing but like the fact that they do that is everyone's felt rage everyone's like I could kill this [ __ ] whatever dri Sal person yeah salesperson driver whatever and but you just don't and then to you know the rage thing I guess everybody understands how you could trip over rage but then when you realize that some people are calculated and they they are getting their thrill out of doing that um it's just a fascinating aspect of I think the human experience that there's somebody there same the reason I fascinated with dictators and how they can you know you you see certain um similarities between people that commit violent crimes and certain people that are uh super highly malignant narcissists that run a a country um but yeah it's just like a study for me it's like the study in in how somebody becomes that is what's fascinating so like you do see parallels sometimes and then sometimes you don't and so in other words like you know there's neglect there's abuse there's trauma and a lot of people that commit horrible acts of violence but sometimes there isn't and um I mean I guess for for me I don't know it's like it I have always had that Curiosity about those stories because I like the story I like learning about what somebody did and I really love learning about how somebody gets caught I mean those those are like you know there's a whole genre of uh books and films just about this these topics obviously and um like this reminds me of my wife's like I can't believe you're watching this I'm like you think they made this for me like you think I'm there's one guy watching this this is a [ __ ] number one show right now like like the these are these are fascinating stories but I think the reason they're fascinating is because it's right there like like you know what I mean like you're here and you're like there's someone who's just like dialed M two degrees this way and they're doing this so much of them are so similar and the behavior is so different yeah yeah yeah and then I mean like yes I mean some of it is that you I think in you hear some of these stories you feel fear or you feel a rush or you know sometimes I mean look there's even stories that repel you like there's there's a variety of like I I there's stories that I don't even I got to start learning about I don't want to learn anymore about this just depends on the actual story but yeah I do I can I can deeply house a True Crime Story yeah I like I I like documentaries I like the the the limited series on all these things I I watch a lot of them yeah I had uh Marissa Harrison on she's the world expert in female serial killers s new book out called uh just as deadly and um only one in six serial killers are women but because of the ways that they kill it's way less newsworthy so a lot of this are nurses looking after babies and infants carers looking after old people or uh disabled people people that have got mental disorders stuff like that um some of them are what they called Angel of Death Mercy Mercy Killing Type things but they feel like that's G to skew because if you keep doing it over and over it's actually for the thrill um the uh methods are totally different as well that a lot of the time it's poison it's sort of surreptitious ways it's not like and that makes it way less newsworthy as well there's like an ax and a load of blood everywhere that's a pretty big story oh my God you know another infant dies in a ventilator or something it's like yeah we really to know but um yeah I I know exactly what you mean this sense that this person's really similar to me and yet their outcomes in life have been really different to me and the way they behave has been so different to me why what is it about that why and how how how does it get here like what's the story and then how how did they move from this to that I mean it's like why I you know people always talk about like these the worst dictators as like Monsters and then you just kind of get used to that term but you're like yeah but they're not you know what I mean like sure their acts are what they did was horrible you just remember that this no it's just like another dude like he's just a guy and he was capable of this and that's I want to I want to get like to the real story of how this person yeah there's a a great example that Sam Harris uses about Udi Hussein Saddam Hussein's son goes on to be pretty bad guy yeah yeah kind of a knucklehead yeah um but you say okay so imagine that you're three-year-old UD Hussein and you're maybe squashing bugs in the backyard but you've grown up in this sort of crazy honor culture you've got the genetics of a literal [ __ ] war criminal you've got this sort of very odd reinforcement mechanism because everybody's bowing down to you and your family and no one's telling you that you can or you can't do anything and you're watching your dad and do all of these things and maybe there's a I don't know harm or whatever the [ __ ] you go okay now you're seven years old and you're bullying the kids in the schoolly yard now you're 15 years old you go like at what point does that person kind of become the architect of themselves you go well I don't really know but it's an interesting question to think like from the very moment from before the moment you were born from the moment that you were conceived your behavior was being shaped in this way and then this interaction between the raw materials that you were made of and the environment that you were put in especially given that the environment you're put in is usually the same one that created the material so there's this sort of you know two times B boost multiplier effect thing going on because you've got the aggressive genes and you're raised in an aggressive household which means oh that's the way that I deal with my anger or whatever it might be I've got the suppress the emotions down Gene and I saw my dad always suppress the emotions down so I thought I never need to assert myself you're going to do it I mean he and his brother UD and uh forget his brother's name but you know they would like they would pull people out of traffic like if you if you like honked at them bagged at they' just rip you out of the car [ __ ] either kill you or just beat you throw you in a trunk they they ran around that place like it was all theirs because it was they would [ __ ] people up did whatever they want so yeah if you're born into that environment and you have you have like anything you want to do is signed off on like there's there is no accountability it's not going to it's not going to create this this loving spirit that you know what I mean like it's it's going to what did you expect him yeah it's going to bring out the worst than you yeah he those guys I don't think they never had really a chance with mhm being born into that in there with their father being who he was there was never a chance those guys were going to be good chill dudes who have you been fascinated by mostly in True Crime recently um let's see what did I most recently watch I mean I'm I'm listening to that true the real dictators podcast and I'm learning about uh verela right now one of the Argentine dictator or generals that be kind of became a dictator um and then I've been watching I mean I watched a bunch of the the series like the thing that was fascinating to me about the I was saying this to um I had Susan Hendricks on the CNN crime reporter is we were discussing how like when you watch the documentaries now about like famous cases that you grew up with part of your brain goes yeah I already know that story and then you watch these and you're like oh I don't remember a any of this or B I didn't even had any idea about any of these details nothing like I remember when I watched the Lacy Peterson one the Scott Peterson one I I just had like I was like oh yeah I mean I remember like vaguely this detail or like the Menendez brothers I was like yeah they shot their parents I didn't have any recollection about the love like the abuse that they went allegedly through at the hands of their father I had no recollection about that I had I really didn't know the fact that like their father was so loathed by everybody he had ever interacted with that they couldn't even provide a character witness at the trial for him to speak on his behalf on a guy that was murdered who had you know seemingly relationships with people he had worked with and in his person one person would be like yeah this was a good guy like details like that that really start to shape the story in your mind a little differently um I had forgotten I could not believe because they had the interrogation footage of Scott Peterson just how crazy cold that guy was and how casual he was like yeah this is like the the day they pull him in and she's missing he's like uh I went fishing and like came back the dog was barking and I hope you find her and you're like that's you're like wow because it's what's interesting to me in that story is that the person is sure cold enough and calculated enough to do this but they're so removed from how they should be behaving in that situation you're like oh you can't even like he couldn't even either lacked the awareness or couldn't even pretend to be somebody well I always think about that I mean everybody has imagined how am I going to behave what am I going to do and your nervous system is just un [ __ ] fire yeah like it's just a I would love I mean this would obviously never happen but I would love for uh hubman or someone to get in and tap their cortisol and their adrenaline see like what is going on under the hood because that would everything all you're hearing is just this ringing in your ears you've had the same thoughts over and over and over again you're watching you're watching the interrogator seeing what saying thinking what what should I say here you're four steps removed from being in the room yeah you know you're thinking about how you should act based on what you know that the interrogator thinks about what you should be doing if you were the person that did the there's too many Hoops you're going through so it's it's but this is the other thing where you know mine mccan case yeah yeah so uh missing girl three-year-old girl I think from Portugal in the '90s British girl who was there on holiday and um one of the criticisms that her parents had one of the criticisms lodged against her parents was that on the Press tour they didn't seem like they were behaving like grieving parents wor yes and you go so I get that and in some situations that might be an incl indication of guilt but also what does a grieving parent that's faced with an entire press call behave what what is normal in that situation same Jean Benet criticism and it it really made me think about did you watch American Nightmare the no so this is one of the most is that the one next door no that was was murder next door I saw that one yeah that's a different one um or into the fire that one's [ __ ] that's really crazy but American Nightmare the most fascinating aspect of the story to me which I don't know how to tell it without like giving too much but like the most fascinating aspect is that on episode one this guy tells in he's telling you at at as the interviewer but they go to the interrogation footage telling the police of what just happened which is that he was with his girlfriend and somebody came in and tied them up gave them like something to drink I have seen this I have seen this yes yes yes and kidnapped her right and you're watching this and you're like this guy is full of [ __ ] like something is off the he is not speaking to the police in the way that he should that he should his emotions are not reading the way that I know they should the second episode begins and they're talking to the woman and she's tell you're seeing her in the interrogation and you're still like yeah this is not this is not and then when you get through the story you're like oh they were both telling the truth and I'm sorry I just ruined it for everybody but that was like the real I was like that was the thing that threw me the most was like no I know how you're supposed to behave in a truthful way and this is not that so this is not truthful and then you're like wait a minute this was truthful and that to me was like the most like I I still couldn't get over it the way that he was talking about what had just happened I was like I understood actually why the police were like this is It's you dude yeah what the [ __ ] and the same thing with the girl they're like well she's full of [ __ ] this is not it's like the party and they seem like they're seemingly normal like they're nice people at least they come come across this way when you see them like in the moment now telling the story but you're like the [ __ ] was going on and maybe is what's going on is what you were saying is that there systems were so so [ __ ] far in their head so there's this really interesting idea called the keian beauty contest so in a keian beauty contest you're not asked to pick which is the most beautiful model imaginary beauty contest you're not asked to pick out of 10 which you think is the most beautiful you're asked to pick which you think the other judges will pick as the most beautiful model oh yeah so rather than choosing your own opinion you're trying to Outsource this sort of fake consensus using theory of mind to all of the other people that are in the room and I always think about that kiny and beauty contest thing in situations like this because there will be a sense in the back of these people's minds except for the person that's so stricken and sort of taken by their emotions that they all of that second third fourth order processing is just like [ __ ] off out of the room but there will be people that are like I bet they think it's me how can I make sure that they don't think it's me God I'm so sad that this thing happened I'm so traumatized from this thing they think it's me like just bouncing around you go okay what's the how do you get yourself you're you're trying to be the normal that both guilty and innocent yeah I'm trying to be the version of me that I think they would want to see right if I wasn't guilty and by doing that I'm getting in the way of being the unincumbered vers it's the same as watching the um stand up person on stage it's like I'm trying to be a standup comic that isn't nervous and isn't bumbling through his lines therefore I am I watch it yeah yeah yeah you're right you go I just whatever that person is doing is not I want to watch the person who feels control and and and is like you know confident whatever like the I yeah at ease I want to see that and it's true what's funny is that like you with the like the Scott Peterson example you automatically go right but this person jumping through hoops because they're lying and they want you to not know that they're lying with the other one what's so interesting is that he's telling the truth but he's probably like like I hope you believe that I'm telling truth cuz I am telling truth and I don't know how to because you what you do is you think about times where you realize someone has thought are you telling truth and you're trying to convey no I am I'm telling you what really happened and you can see doubt in their face like you can see them so you lean into this weird there's a fascinating Insight around guilt so uh this [ __ ] broke my brain when I realized this our level of guilt is directly proportional to the likelihood that we think that we're going to get caught so if you've ever noticed that you do a small indp that you know that no one will find out about you're way less guilty about it than if you do a larger indiscretion that you think you're going to get caught for so it's like an early warning system that like maybe you should behave in a slightly different way or maybe you should own up to this before you get found out but if you like no one's around it's late at night you toss a coat can out of the window it's like I feel like guilty you toss a Coke can in front of a family that's walking past and it's the the strollers about to R over the top of it you're like holy [ __ ] like they know that the it's going to sit with you yeah yeah so guilt being in proximity to your likelihood of being caught this early warning signal I always think about that is that like a scientifically studied thing it's a a posited theory I mean you could observe it but emotionary psychology suggests that this would be one of the mechanisms by which it makes a lot of sense I mean we just see it in ourselves right you can observe it within yourself it doesn't necessarily need to be a LW it's just something that you can notice but yeah the I I always I always think about like going back to times when I felt really really guilty I'm like yeah I I was pretty sure that someone was going to find out about the thing that I did yeah that makes so much sense and I want but like people who commit these some of these heinous crimes you know they're um they're not going to feel guilt one way or the other but it's interesting that like maybe somebody who doesn't have that personality disorder that guilt shows itself if they start to feel the likelihood that they're going to get caught well think about what we were saying earlier on that the lovable elf type thing feels less threatening to us in a way I wonder whether the person who makes killings out of Rage feels less threatening to us than the cold calculated killer should detached from it because you go okay well if they're not enrage if I don't enrage them I'm sweet also we all we all can relate we' been enraged we've all been enraged so that's a big factor there is few of us have been Dexter with the scalpel and you know yeah if some when somebody when you hear about somebody who emot has zero emotion about going in and and tying up and cutting somebody open that's not you're not like yeah I've been there man like it's it's a totally different thing so that that that person I think is definitely the more terrifying one [ __ ] yeah what have you got coming up next what can people expect from you um well I'm on tour so I've been um I've been on tour and it will continue through the rest of this year um I have a a series that will I don't know if I might can even announce it yet I can sort of yeah Loosely it's coming in the spring something will happen over the next few months you'll see something in the spring I'll I'll shoot something else later this year and I'll tell you about it later are you part of the CIA now are you part of Trump's cabinet you know what's so funny is like they always have these like don't say a thing and then you're like okay and then when you do you're like nobody [ __ ] cares dude like yeah but yeah uh stuff is coming soon stuff is coming soon and more stuff will come later and I also have a few other stuffs that'll I'll do later in the year dude what a sign off it's awesome to meet you I'm looking forward to bringing you back on thanks so much thanks for having me man appreciate you what's happening people thank you very much for tuning in if you've made it this far to the end of that episode you must have enjoyed it here's another episode that you'll love with Dry Creek Dwayne go on hurry up