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“We Are What We Pretend To Be”

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The podcast episode centers on a profound reflection derived from a Kurt Vonnegut quote: "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." The speaker recounts attending a retreat in California where he met a business owner who had previously run a popular YouTube channel but eventually stopped producing content. When asked why, the creator explained that he began feeling compelled to live up to his public persona in private life as well. This realization led the speaker to analyze the concept of "fake it until you make it," distinguishing between adopting an ideal version of oneself for motivation and becoming tethered by social expectations. He argues that while committing to a worldview or philosophy can provide direction, it also acts like a stake in the ground; if one's private beliefs evolve, the pressure from those accustomed to the previous public iteration creates significant friction. This tension between personal growth and social consistency is illustrated through examples within the health community, specifically regarding dietary shifts. The speaker notes that leading figures of the ex-paleo movement who transitioned into adding fruit or adopting a meat-and-fruit diet faced intense backlash not because their new approaches lacked evidence, but because they had ardently stated different beliefs in the past. This highlights how social incentives often discourage public changes even when private growth occurs. The speaker emphasizes that updating one's worldview is actually a sign of intelligence rather than fickleness, yet unwavering commitment to narrow views can be mistaken for cleverness by those who do not understand nuance. Consequently, changing one's mind publicly often invites attacks from people who view such evolution as unsophisticated, making it increasingly difficult to reverse course the more publicized a change becomes. The discussion provides Alex Okonour as a stark example of these dynamics in action. A vegan driven by ethical concerns regarding animal suffering and philosophical underpinnings, Okonour eventually found his health deteriorating while attempting to maintain a balanced plant-based diet despite his conscientiousness and preparation. Unable to reconcile the challenges posed by his new philosophy with his physical well-being, he made the difficult decision to return to eating meat. Despite having been transparent about this struggle from the start and not seeking financial gain through vegan products, Okonour faced years of castigation on the internet for reversing his stance. The speaker uses this case to underscore that individuals often cannot be compatible with public expectations derived from their own stated ideals, leading them to feel forced to "peel off" a skin they have grown out of simply because others expect it there. The narrative further extends these themes into personal relationships and the scrutiny inherent in social media culture. The speaker admits to keeping his romantic life private due to the immense difficulty of existing for oneself when thousands of observers are watching every move. He recalls how Facebook notifications regarding relationship status used to be a major source of anxiety, where friends would comment on engagements or breakups, effectively turning personal milestones into public performances. This constant observation creates a "digital hijab," as Mary Harrington calls it, forcing individuals to question whether they stay in relationships too long out of fear of judgment or leave them prematurely because they are terrified of what others think. Ultimately, the speaker concludes that true growth requires navigating these external pressures without letting the expectations of those who do not have one's best interests at heart dictate personal choices, a challenge made significantly harder by the permanence and visibility of public declarations.
Read the full video transcript
I told this story a couple of times about a retreat I went to in California, but then I saw a Kurt Vonagut quote that sort of perfectly summarized it, zipped it down, uh, and it's easier to remember. So Kurt says, "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. So, I'd gone to this retreat in California and I met a business owner who had a big YouTube channel that I used to watch a lot a long time ago. And then I asked him why he'd stopped making videos and he said, "I started feeling like I had to live up to in private the things which I was saying in public." And I think about this quite a lot. Um, I've come to sort of realize there's two sides to fake it until you make it. And one is positing an ideal or a better version of yourself which you're motivated to live up to due to the need for social consistency. But that stake in the ground acts as much like a tether as it does a finish line. If you commit yourself to some worldview or life philosophy, what happens if you stop agreeing with it? Sure, you might want everyone you might want to change, but everybody around you has grown accustomed to the previous version of you. And whether it's lifestyle changes like your dietary approach or your training methodology or worldview changes like a religious belief or political affiliation or personality changes like commitments to growth or going sober or changing friend groups, social consistency bias is a double-edged sword. A while ago, some of the leading influences of the ex-paleo diet movement, then the carnivore movement, started to add fruit into their food. And the aptly called meat and fruit diet, caused uproar, not because of evidence that the diet is based on, but because its new proponents had ardently stated a different belief in the past, and the change caused the people around them to feel uncomfortable. This is the danger. The social incentives align for you to not change in public, even if you grow out of your beliefs in private. Stupid people see someone changing their mind as an indication of unsophistication because they don't understand that updating your worldview when you grow is a sign of intelligence, not fickleness. And that an unwavering commitment to a narrow worldview is not cleverness, but a substitute for it. which unfortunately means that after changing your mind in public, it often results in you being attacked by a large number of mostly stupid people. And the more public you are about it, the harder it is to reverse. Perfect example of this. Alex Okconor goes vegan, is convinced about the ethics, the philosophical underpinnings of veganism, does not want to contribute to animal suffering, but as a byproduct of that, his health suffers, and he is struggling to keep his health to where it needs to be whilst eating a balanced plant-based diet. It's not something he says that he doesn't think you can do, but something that given his level of conscientiousness and preparedness, it was something he was struggling to do. So his demeanor was incompatible with the challenges that his new diet informed by his new philosophy had given to him. So he went back to eating meat. He had to announce in public something which he had changed in private. And he got [ __ ] castigated on the internet for it for ages. I mean, he's now out the other side. I don't think anyone really brings it up anymore, but that was uncomfortable to watch, especially when you think this guy's doing it for his health and he said it. He told you. He, you know, he made this change and and he told you about it. He didn't lie. He didn't continue to get those sweet vegan dollars if they ever existed. Uh, he never did that. He told you as soon as you changed and people still had a problem with it. So be careful of the things that you say in private uh not being able to be compatible with the expectations people have of you in public. And um yeah, that stake in the ground versus finish line. Am I positing an ideal or am I attaching my selfworth to an expectation that I'm then going to have to rip off me? I'm going to have to sort of peel this [ __ ] skin off me that everybody else expects. It's difficult. Personal growth is hard enough as it is without all of the expect. It's why, you know, to be honest, what are we 45 minutes in? I can talk about this now. It's the reason why I don't talk about like deeply talk about my relationships on the show. Uh, you know, even though I talk about relationships and dating, uh, and a lot of the dynamics, it's evidently something I'm interested in. I'm obviously, you know, on the path toward trying to build a family and do all the rest of the stuff, but I think it's [ __ ] so hard to have a relationship full stop. Having a relationship with even a couple of thousand people observing it. You remember what it was like when you used to get the um uh Chris Williamson is in a relationship notifications on Facebook or whatever and you would see it from your friends and people would be able to like it and comment on it and so and then it would tag the other person but then it would also show Chris Williamson is single. [ __ ] Like you've only got what I think thousand friends or something on Facebook. That was a huge deal. I mean I don't know maybe I'm speaking depends how young you are. You might not have ever seen that on Facebook. That was [ __ ] revolutionary by the way. bring back Facebook uh dating [ __ ] but that was hard. Just doing that was hard. So, how hard is it when you're posting photos of you both? And you know, that's the reason why I've kept that area of my private life private because again, you've got this like expectation, the stake in the ground, additional scrutiny. Um, you know, do you stay in relationships for longer than you should because you're scared about what people are going to think? Do you leave relationships more quickly than you should because you're scared about what what people are going to think? Like you just you're never existing for yourself. You're always existing for this version of of what people who don't necessarily have your best interests at heart think about how you should behave. And uh yeah, a digital hijab, as Mary Harrington calls it. Uh I've got my I've got my digital hijab on. 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But if you want more, don't be sad. The full episode is available right here. Go on.