Typology of Pedophilic Disorder (Pedophilia and Pedohebephilia)

I just finished watching the excellent Scandinavian limited series, The Glass Dome. It deals with very delicate issues, including pedophilia, child sexual abuse, child abuse in general, and the deception that is involved in all these practices. It gets most everything right. And according to the latest studies and research, they've been well advised. But I would like to clarify a few things about pedophilia and pedohhibophilia. And I would like to give you an overview of the state-of-the-art when it comes to these paraphilas. My name is Sambachin. I'm the author of malignant self- loveve, narcissism revisited, and I'm a professor of psychology. [clears throat] The committee that is in charge of writing the diagnostic and statistical manual has declined to render pedohilia as a subtype of pedophilia and in doing so it created a major uproar [laughter] and dispute in the community. Pedoh hepophilia is when adults are sexually attracted to teenagers around the time of puberty to new teenagers. The famous book by Nabokov Lolita describes hibophilia or pedohhibophilia but is it is it some kind of variant of pedophilia? Pophilia is a paraphilia. In other words, a sexual disturbance or a sexual malfunction if you wish. Can we lump the two together? Here's what the new scientists had to say many many years ago in December 2009 in an article titled Psychiatric Civil War. The rouse of a hepophilia and paraphilic coercive disorder are not academic because 20 US states at the time more now have passed laws that allow sex offenders who have served their sentences to be detained indefinitely in a secure hospital if they are deemed sexual predators. This can only be done if the offenders have a psychiatric disorder that increases their risk of reoffending, which few do according to the DSM. A critic says that if heilia and paraphilic coercive disorder make it into the DSM, they will be seized upon to consign men to a lifetime of incarceration. So, there's a lot of politics involved. gender wars between men and women and the question of the age of consent and when is someone capable of rendering consent free informed enthusiastic yes is yes it used to be 14 in in uh Canada is it at the age of 18 multiple studies by twinga and others demonstrated that adolescence now lasts into the age of 25 that the brain finishes its development at the age of 30. Should we not protect these vulnerable people? So there's a debate going on but I would like today to focus on the classical pedophilic disorder used to be known as pedophilia. Theophilic disorder is well defined and there's a lot of information about it. It's been studied for decades and we know more or less I think everything there is to know about it. First let us divide all pedophiles into three groups. There are pedophiles who transgress against children. They commit crimes with and against children because they like they like the sense of control and power over the child. It is a form of self-enhancement, grandio omnipotence which feeds into their self-concept as godlike. In other words, these pedophiles are narcissists actually. So the power and control group are essentially narcissists and I would say malignant narcissists, psychopathic narcissists. Then there is a second group of pedophiles. I call them the purity pedophiles. These are pedophiles which actually do not engage in sex with minors or with children. They preserve the child as an unadulterated and safe entity by not contaminating the child with sex. They perceive sex as dirty. By not contaminating the child with sex, they believe that they can secure the child's unconditional love and keep the child, maintain the child as this angelic creature, all good, untouched, unblenmished. So this is the second group of pedophiles, the purity pedophiles. And then there is the third type which is by far the most dangerous and that's the type that makes it into media reports and movies and serious TV shows and and so on and that's what I call the shadow pedophiles. The shadow pedophiles project onto the child parts of themselves that they f they find objectionable. parts of themselves that they hate and reject and find unacceptable and intolerable. These parts of themselves they attribute to the child. That's classical projection. But they project not only mentally and psychologically but also physically. They considered the child contaminated, dirty, wicked, dangerous, um deceit of all unacceptable passions and desires. And so the child in their mind is essentially a container, a receptacle of sin. There's a lot of religious there are a lot of religious undertones here. The receptacle of sin and needs to somehow be eliminated not purified because this kind of pedophiles do have sex with the child. And the more they engage in sexual activity with a child, the more the child becomes dirty. The more the child is infected with sex, the more the child is adulterated, the more they engage in sexual activity to the child, the more they affirm and butress their view of the child as an abomination, a myasmic creature, diabolical and demonic. um the living the living container and receptacle of their own sinful thoughts and actions and transgressions. And by eliminating the child [snorts] s they symbolically purge themselves, they cleanse themselves, they become pure, they purify themselves. Killing the child is a ritualistic act of purification. It's a tiny minority of pedophiles luckily, but they are the ones who abduct children, rape them, and then kill them. Let us now retrace our moves and begin to discuss pedophilia or pedophilic disorder in general. Pedophiles are attracted sexually and mentally, more importantly, romantically and mentally, to prepubescent children. A minority of pedophiles also act on these sexual fantasies. I mentioned it the shadow pedophile and it is a startling fact that the ethology of this paraphilia is actually to this very day unknown. There are numerous theories childhood sexual abuse and this and that but none of these theories has been substantiated beyond doubt. There are even ideas that pedophilia may be a brain abnormality or some hereditary thing. But none of this has been has been established. None of this is has been rigorously studied. And so we don't know why what makes pedophile a pedophile. We don't know what causes pedophilia. I want to dispel a few myths which is something I do often. I debunk myths in this on this channel channel. Pedophiles come from all walks of life. Pedophiles have no common socioeconomic background. And contrary to media propagated myths, most pedophiles between 50 and 70%. Had not been sexually abused in childhood. Many pedophiles are also drawn to adults of the opposite sex. They're heterosexual. So it's not true that a pedophile is exclusively attracted to young children. That's completely untrue. The majority of them lead a perfectly normal sex life with adults. The vast majority of them are heterosexuals. There are a few homosexuals but they have they have like parallel lives on visibly public the public facing life is normal with a family with regular sexual activity. They enjoy it. They're not pretending. They like to have sex with adults. And then there's a parallel life, a second life where they are aroused mentally, romantically or sexually or all three by a child. the presence of a child, talking to a child, hugging a child, cuddling with a child, or unfortunately having sex with a child, penetrative or otherwise. And so this is the minority of pedophiles actually. Now only a few pedophiles belong to what came to be known as the exclusive type. The ones who are tempted and seduced only by kids. The ones who are attracted inexurably and irresistibly by kids or to kids to children. This is the minority and they're known as the exclusive type. 9/10 9/10 of all pedophiles are male. They're fascinated by pre-teen and teenage males, pre-teen females, or more rarely both. So there is a type preference. You have a pedophile attracted to young boys, your pedophile attracted to young girls and you have rarely a pedophile attracted to both. Studies have demonstrated some neurological abnormalities as I said possibly some common genetic background but none of it is at this stage wellounded at least 1/5 and probably more of the population have pedophiliac or pedophilic fantasies that is a fact that is glossed over taboo politically incorrect no one discusses it but that's a fact one in five People have fantasies of having sex with a child. Mind you, there's a gap. There's an abyss between fantasy and action. People fantasize about rape. They fantasize about about pedophilia. They fantasize about fetishes and they never never enact the fantasy in real life. That's the vast majority of people. The prevalence of child pornography and child prostitution proves that beyond the classicalally clinically defined pedophilic disorder, there's a wide range of people who may engage in pedophilic activities even though they would not they would not qualify. They could not be diagnosed as pedophiles. start out as normal people. And in various studies and case studies, the literature, we know that when a pedophile realizes that they are attracted to children, they experience profound shock and they're very distressed and they discover their illicit sexual preference for the preubertal or prepubescent child. Most of them go into absolutely a traumatic state. They're traumatized by their own sexual uh preference. The process and mechanisms of transition from socially acceptable sexuality to much condemned and of course criminal pedophilia are still largely mysterious. We haven't been able to map and trace the transition mentally, physically, biographically. These parts are missing. One of the reasons of course is pedophiles are highly dissociative uh when it comes to their own sexuality. They kind of suppress it or deny it or repress it. The vast majority of pedophiles do not want to harm children in any way, shape or form. The pedophilia is confined to the consumption of child sexual abuse material. Um this kind of thing and the ones that are active are as I said on the malignant on the malignant part of the spectrum but still they're very distressed by it. They hate themselves. They loathe themselves. They reject themselves. Pedophiles do seem to have narcissistic and antisocial psychopathic traits. They for example um have problems with empathy for their victims and they express no remorse for their actions. But at the same time there is some duality because while they have no empathy or little empathy for the victims and express no remorse and regret they at the same time reject themselves. So when they feel distressed and shocked and traumatized it's not by what's happening to the victim, it's by what's happening to them to themselves. I think it has a lot to do with social injunctions and strictctures. I think what happens is the pedophile is not so much concerned about his um illicit and illegal activities and pedophile is much more concerned about his standing in society or the way he might be perceived by society should the secret emerge. There is a terror of rejection and and of course punishment. Pedophiles are in denial and they are pathological confabulators. They rationalize their transgressions. They claimed that the children were merely merely being educated for their own good or anyhow derive great pleasure from the sexual act or even that the children the victims initiated the sex and actively sought the sexual act. This is a self-justified narrative and they should be distinguished very clearly from the pedophiles unease and terror of being exposed and of the possible social let alone criminal repercussions. So the distress is more like self-pity or self apprehension or a rejection of the parts in the pedophile that could lead the pedophile to adverse consequences and outcomes. It's as if the pedophile resents the fact that there is there elements in him that are out of control and could destroy his life and take away his freedom. The pedophile's egoonyy rests on the pedophile's aloplastic defenses. He generally tends to blame others or the world or the system for his misfortunes, failures and deficiencies. That's when it comes to the victim. Pedophilic disorder is one of the few mental health conditions where there is concurrent or co-occurrence of egoony and egoistony. ego syntony when it relates to the victims. I have done nothing wrong. I've been actually helping and educating them. They wanted it. They they enjoyed it as much as I did, etc., etc. So, these are aloplastic defenses. If I'm caught, it's the fault of the child who snitched on me. It's the fault of society who doesn't encourage this kind of love or doesn't countenance it, doesn't understand it, etc. There's always aloplastic defenses. other people, institutions, society at large, civilization, history, someone is guilty. The and that part is egoonic and there's no regret, no remorse, no shame. On the other hand, there's an egodistonic part which is where the pedophile dreads the possible consequences and outcomes of his actions and realizes that there's nothing he can do about it. So the ego destiny is about inferiority like I I am not in control. I'm not a master. There's external locus of control. I'm at the mercy of this illness or this impulse or this drive or an urge. I can't help it. And that's very humiliating. And it's among the very few mental health issues or disorders or conditions where we have both egoistony and egoony. Another example is of course a narcissistic personality. So pedophiles frequently accuse their victims of acting promiscuously or coming on to them or actively tempting and seducing, provoking or luring or even entrapping them. And then once they are in the clutches of their predatory child, they are they lose control. It's as if they're weak. They're feeble. They are laughable and they can't tolerate this. It's very humiliating. So every act with a child becomes self-inflicted narcissistic injury and even mortification. That's why the actual incidence of sexual acts with children by pedophiles is very low because it triggers in the pedophile injury, narcissistic injury and narcissistic motification. It's unpleasant. It's an unpleasant experience. The sex with the child may be rewarding physically and even romantically, but the aftermath is always egoistonic, threatening, unpleasant and humiliating. That provides the pedophile luckily with an incentive to minimize the number of occasions in which the pedophile has actual sex with children. The pedophile, similar to the autistic patient, misinterprets the child's body language and interpersonal cues, social cues. The social communication skills of the pedophile and the reality testing of the pedophile are impaired. The pedophile fails to adjust information gained to the surrounding circumstances to contextualize it. For example, the feed pedophile takes to take fails to take into account the kid's age, emotional maturity and even physical ability to have sex. All these are forgotten. All these are somehow ignored or denied so that the interpretation of the context and the environment and the circumstances is highly lacking. And rather than engage in an act in reality, the pedophile constructs a shared fantasy with a child. And within this shared fantasy, the pedophile and the child are loving one, mutually irexually irresistible, craving each other's presence and sex, etc. These are the elements of the shared fantasy that supplants displaces reality coupled with the pedophile's lack of empathy. This recurrent inability to truly comprehend others caused the pedophile pedophile to objectify the targets of his lasciviousness. Pedophilia is in essence autoerotic. The pedophile uses children's bodies to masturbate with. And this is why the internet is so successful among pedophiles. The internet offers disembodied anonymous murbatory sex. The pedophile can use child images and so on so forth to induce self arousal. It's a very autoerotic kind of act. Children in cyberspace are mere symbols and representations, avatars, nothing more than erotic photos and screen names. It is crucial to realize that pedophiles are not enticed by the children themselves. They're not attracted, contrary to popular mythology, they are not attracted to the child's body or to a budding nubile sexuality. That part is completely untrue. That is hephilia or pedohhibophilia. That's not pedophilia. The pedophiles are drawn not to the child himself or herself, not to the child's genitalia, not to the child's body, not to the child's smell, not they're not drawn to any of this. They are drawn to what the child or what the children symbolize, to what pre-adolescence stand for and represent. With the advent of feminism and gender equality, women have lost their traditional role as socially acceptable and permissible sexual child substitutes, except maybe in countries like Japan. And so the reservoir of childlike entities, women, has vanished, dried overnight, literally in historical terms, and left a gaping hole, which no pedophile actually used children to fill fill in. So historically, pedophiles were attracted to wafish childlike women and they were having sex with the inner child or with the childlike or childish manifestations aspects traits of the woman involved. They were actually having sex with a child who happens to be embedded in a woman's adult body. When this course of action has been rendered difficult or impossible by feminism, women are no longer very childlike. They're very menlike. Actually, according to studies by Lisa Wade, others, they're very masculine. The pedophiles lost this hunting ground and instead have reverted to real life children. So, there's been an explosion of pedophilia in the wake of feminism. Not the fault of feminism mind you know what I'm saying but I can trace it. So there's been absolute explosion of pedophilia in the past 60 years or something. It's not been the case in prior in previous centuries. Um this social upheaval may account for the rise in pedophilia across the world. But how does a pedophile internally how does a pedophile represent a child internally? What's what's a story? What's a narrative that the pedophile tells himself in order to act this way? This reprehensible horrible way. What are the stories? So there are several stories. Number one, sex with children is free and daring. Having sex with subtins implies freedom of action with impunity. It enhances the pedophile's magical sense of omnipotence and immunity. It's kind of magical thinking. It's as if the pedophile can become invincible and divine via the agency of a child's attention, the child's love, ultimately a child's body. It is through the trial that the pedophile becomes this godlike entity, acquires omnipotence, becomes infallible and is immune to the consequences of his actions by defying authority, the authority of the state, of the church, the edicts of his culture and society, the mores, the norms. By defying all this, the pedophile experiences an adrenaline rush to which he gradually becomes addicted. Illicit sex, forbidden sex becomes the outlet for the pedophile's urgent need to live dangerously and recklessly. Pedophiles are thrill seekers and risk seekers. They are reckless. They're defined. And this sense is a close affinity between pedophiles and factor one psychopaths. Pedophile is on a quest to reassert control over his life. Studies have consistently shown that pedophilia is associated with anomic anomic states, war, famine, epidemics. Uh pedophilia is also has also been shown to be associated with major life crisis such as failure, relocation, infidelity of a spouse, separation or divorce, unemployment, bankruptcy, illness, death of the offender's nearest and dearest. In other words, people who have never acted never acted as a pedophile, people who have never even had fantasies of pedophilia, people who have been married, raised a family throughout their lives, have have been heteronormative and heterosexual. These people suddenly can flip and engage in pedophilia pedophilic acts when they find themselves in situations such as war, famine, epidemics or when they experience a traumatizing life crisis which somehow dismantles inhibitions. Disinhibits and creates a terrain which legitimizes sex or at least romance. falling in love with a child. Child probably feels safe or safer than adult alternatives. In such situations, it is likely though hither too unsubstantiated by research that the typical pedophile is depressive and with a borderline personality organization. In other words, low very low organization and fuzzy personal boundaries. Pedophiles are reckless. They're emotionally labile. The pedophile's sense of selfworth is volatile and disregulated. Pedophile is likely to suffer from abandonment, anxiety, separation, insecurity, and to be a codependent or counterdependent. Paradoxically, it is by seemingly losing control in one aspect of his life, the sexual aspect. By losing control there, the pedophile reacquires a sense of mastery over a child. A child who would offer no resistance, who would comply with everything, be submissive, a child that can be molded, shaped, and a child that can be rendered an extension or an instrument or a tool that allows the pedophile to regain a sense of mastery. The same mechanism as it were the development of eating eating disorders for example an inhibitory deficit is somehow magically perceived as omnipotence. The second type of narrative is sex with children is corrupt and decadent. Remember the shadow pedophile pedophile who thinks that children are inherently dirty and should be should be cleansed or eradicated somehow. So this is the second narrative. The pedophile makes frequent though unconscious use of projection and projective ident identification in his relationships with children. This kind of pedophile makes his victims treat him the way he views himself and and so forces them to affirm his self-concept. Another option is that this kind of shadow pedophile attributes to the victims, to the children, traits and behaviors that are truly his. The pedophile is aware of society's view of his actions. Society would say that pedophiles are vile and corrupt and forbidden and evil and decadent, especially if the pedophiliac act involves incest. But and so the pedophile knows all this and it is very difficult to not internalize society's view of pedophilia. And yet at the same time the shadow malignant pedophile derives inordinate pleasure elation even from the sleazy nature of his pursuits because he tends to sustain his view of himself as unworthy bad a failure deserving of punishment and guilty. In other words, these kind of pedophiles sometimes use children to sustain, butress uphold and prove the veracity, the truthfulness of their internalized bed object, the clust cluster of voices that pulls them down, tries to take them down and destroy them. Pedophilia therefore is sometimes an act of self-destructiveness via the agency of a child and remember this is only subtype one subtype of pedophile not all pedophiles are linked I'm describing various narratives and various subtypes pedophilia you're beginning to understand is not a monolithic mental health issue exactly like ADHD and autism spectrum disorder and so on we are mixing there's a mixed bag here. We're mixing all kinds of subtypes and variants. We get a total rigmmoral, total total mess. This kind of pedophile, the shadow pedophile, in extreme, mercifully uncommon cases, projects these torturous feelings and self-perceptions onto the victims. The children are then defiled by the this kind of pedophile, abused by these sexual attentions. Every time the pedophile has sex with the child, the child becomes more rotten, decomposing somehow, bad object, guilty, punishable. This leads to sexual sadism, lust, rape, and ultimately unfortunately snuff murders. These kind of pedophiles end up in some cases killing the child. The third type of pedophile. So this is a this is the non non-ben so to speak pedophile. The really dangerous one. The third type of pedophile or third narrative of pedophilia is that sex sex with children is a reenactment of a painful past childhood. Many pedophiles truly bond with their victims and prey. They get attached. They love them. To these pedophiles, children are the raification of innocence, genuiness, authenticity, trust, faithfulness, qualities that the pedophile wishes to nostalgically capture. Somehow it's like going back to the womb. It's like reverting, regressing to a safe, secure base, safe environment. The children afford this kind of pedophile a sense of safety, predictability, determinacy. The relationship with a child provides a pedophile with a safe [snorts] passage to his own repressed and fearful inner child. And through his victim, this kind of pedophile gains access to his own repressed, suppressed and thwarted emotions. He emotes through the child. It's a fantasylike second chance to reenact childhood this time benignely. The pedophile's dream or the dream of this kind of pedophile is to make peace with his past. And this comes true in the eyes of the pedophile by transforming the interaction with the child to an exercise in wish fulfillment. Of course, it is easy to immediately discern that the child in this kind of narrative fulfills some parental functions. I mentioned secure bays, sense of safety. This is what parents give their children, not the other way. So there is a role reversal here. The pedophile infantilize, self-infantilizes, regresses. Whereas a child in the eyes of a pedophile becomes more and more parental. This could lead to very dangerous consequences. The initial experience, the original experience with the pedophile with his real parents was not good. The more parentified the child becomes, the more the pedophile is likely to resent and hate the child as a father figure, as a mother figure. And this could lead to aggression culminating possibly in violence. The fourth type of narrative is that sex with children is a shared psychosis or a shared fantasy. The pedophile treats his chosen child as an object, an extension of himself, devoid of a separate existence and denuded of distinct needs. The pedophile find the child's submissiveness and gullibility highly gratifying. Pedophile frowns on any side of personal autonomy of the child of the child's agency and independence. He regards all these as threats and he incentivizes the child to suspend itself to not show signs of independence. He in he he rewards the child when the child becomes an echo of the of the pedophile. This kind of pedophile rewards a child when the child imitates him, emulates him, echoes him, reflects him and extends him somehow by intimidating, cajoling, charming and making false promises. The pedophile isolates his prey, his victim from the child's family, school, peers and from the rest of society. And this way makes the child's dependence on him on the pedophile total. To the pedophile or to this kind of pedophile, the child is a transitional object, a training ground on which to exercise the the art of adult relationship skills. It's like the pedophile is training with a child to have a relationship with an adult because the child is unlikely to push back, humiliate, reject, abandon. It feels safe to play act adult relationships with a child and thereafter transition these skills into real adult relationships. This kind of pedophile erroneously feels that the child will never betray them and will never abandon them and this guarantees object constancy. The pedophile stealthily, surreptitiously but unfailingly exploits the vulnerabilities in the psychological makeup of his victims, the children. The child may have low a low self-esteem or a fluctuating sense of self-worth. The child may exhibit primitive defense mechanisms such as splitting, experience phobias, mental health problems, a disability, a history of failure, bad relations with parents, siblings, teachers, peers. This kind of child may have a tendency to blame herself or himself, autoplastic defenses or to feel inadequate, autotolastic neurosis. The child himself may have an internalized bed object. So the kid may come from an abusive family or environment which condition this kind of child to expect abuse as inevitable and normal. In extreme and rare cases, the victim is a mazoist possessed of an urge to seek ill treatment and pain. And then the pedophile can lie to himself that he is just catering to the child's needs and wishes. The pedophile is the guru at the center of a cult. Like other gurus, the pedophile demands complete obedience and obeisance from his partner partner. The pedophile feels entitled to adjulation and special treatment by his child mate. Pedophile punishes the wayward and the straying lambs. Any display of rejection or resistance is severely penalized. Pedophile enforces discipline. The child finds himself in a twilight zone. The pedophile imposes on the child a shared psychotic disorder, a shared psychosis or um shared fantasy replete with persecuto delusions, enemies, mythical narratives and apocalyptic scenarios. If the pedophile were to be flouted by the child, the child is rendered the joint guardian of some kind of horrible secret. bonding by guilt, association by mutual recrimination. The pedophile's control is based on ambiguity, ambivalence, unpredictability, fuzziness, and ambient abuse. The pedophile's ever shifting whims exclusively define right versus wrong, desirable and unwanted, what is to be pursued and what is to be avoided. The pedophile alone determines rights and obligations and alters them at will and the typical pedophile is a micromanager. This most pedophiles exert control over the minutest details and behaviors of the child. They punish severely [clears throat] and they abuse withholders of information. children who fail to conform to wishes and goals, do not obey uh the intricate rules. The pedophile does not respect the boundaries and privacy of the often reluctant and terrified child. Pedophile ignores the child's wishes and treats children as objects or instruments of gratification. He seeks to control both situations and people compulsively and completely. And so the pedophile acts in a patronizing and condescending manner and he is highly and harshly and sadistically critical. The pedophile alternates between emphasizing the minutest faults devaluation and exaggerating the looks, talents, traits and skills of the child idealization. In this sense, the pedophile exactly like the narcissist is wildly unrealistic in his expectations and this legitimizes the subsequent abusive conduct which can be interpreted within the narrative as disciplinary. Narcissistic pedophiles claim to be infallible, superior, talented, skillful, omnipotent, and omnisient. They often lie and confabulate to support these unfounded claims [clears throat] and to justify their actions. Most pedophiles suffer from cognitive deficits and they reinterpret reality to fit their fantasies. One of the most common cognitive distortions is grandiosity. Of course, in extreme cases, the pedophile feels above the law, any kind of law. This grandiose and horty conviction leads to criminal acts, incestuous or polygamous relationships and recurrent friction with the authorities. And now on to the next type of narrative. Remember these are organizing and explanatory narratives in the pedophilic space. ilic [clears throat] disorder has multiple types, subtypes and varants and they're organized within these narratives. So now narrative number five, the pedophile regards sex with children as an ego booster. Subteen [snorts] children are by definition inferior. They are physically weaker. They depend on others for the fulfillment of many of their needs. They are cognitively and emotionally immature or under underdeveloped and they easily manipulated. The fund of knowledge of these children is limited, their skills restricted. And so the pedophile's relationship with children butresses the pedophile's twin grandio delusions of omnipotence and omniscience compared to the children that he is abusing. He is omnipotent and he is omnicient and very often the pedophile uses gadgets, external props to demonstrate this superiority. He may for example uh cage the child. He may put the child in a cage. He may restrain the child's space and movement locking the child in a room. He may he may demonstrate to the to the child his superiority by placing the child in situations where the child needs the pedophile and cannot manage without. All these are enactments of superiority and compared to his victims. Pedophile is always the stronger, the wiser, the most skillful and the most wellinformed. It's a good feeling as far as a pedophile is concerned. It's intoxicating and ultimately becomes addictive. The next narrative is sex with children guarantees companionship. These are lonely pedophiles. Inevitably, the pedophile considers his child victims to be his best friends, his companions, his lovers, his romantic counterparts. Pedophiles are lonely, erottomanic people. The pedophile believes that he is in love with or simply loves the child. Sex is merely one way to communicate his affection and caring and it's not even necessary. There are other venues. He would take care of the child. He would be very attentive. He would cater to the child's needs. He would he would groom the child on the one hand and on the other hand help the child develop. He would act as a good parent in effect but an incestuous one. A parent who falls in love with a child romantically to show his keen interest. The common pedophile of this type keeps calling the child, dropping by, writing emails, giving gifts, providing services, doing unsolicited errands on the kid's behalf, getting into relationships with a pre-teen's parents, friends, teachers, and peers. and in general making himself available at all times, intruding into the child's life, insinuating himself into every aspect and cell of the child's existence. It's a form of massive or perervasive stalking. The pedophile feels free to make legal, financial, and emotional decisions and arrangements for the child, acting as some kind of self-appointed custodian or guardian. This kind of pedophile intrudes on the victim's priv privacy, disrespects the child's express wishes and personal boundaries and ignores the child's motions, needs, and preferences even as claiming and professing to do exactly the opposite. To the pedophile, love means only one thing. enshment, clinging, neediness, dependency coupled with an overpowering separation, anxiety, fear of being abandoned. So, no amount of denials, chastising, threats, and even outright hostile actions convince the erottom erottomic uh pedophile that the child is not in love with it. The child as I said may deny, threaten, act in a hostile way, reject, insult, nothing. The child has no way to convince the pedophile that the child is not in love with the pedophile. Pedophile knows better. The pedophile will make the child and the world see the light and the veracity, the authenticity, the genuiness of the love relationship. The child and his gu in this sense this kind of pedophile is highly delusional. The child and his guardians are simply unaware of what is good for the kid says this kind of pedophile. I know I know they don't the pedophile determinately sees it as his or her task his task to bring life and happiness and light into the child's weary and unhappy existence. It's as if the only source of happiness in the child's life is the pedophile, his gifts, his attention, his touch, his love. And so regardless of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, this kind of pedophile is convinced that his feelings are actually reciprocated. Reciprocated, the child is equally infatuated with him. Maybe the child doesn't know it yet. Maybe others are envious of the situation but they will they will all come around. The child will the child will wake up to his to his or her true feelings. The pedophile interprets everything the child does or refrains from doing as some kind of coded message confessing to and conveying the child's interest in the in in the pedophile. The child's eternal devotion to the pedophile and to the relationship. the child child is communicating uh the child's communication is encrypted and only the pedophile can decode it. Some although by no means all pedophiles are socially inapt, awkward, schizoid and suffer from a host of mood and anxiety disorders which only exacerbate this situation. So the pedophile may consider himself legitimately involved with a child, especially if the pedophile does have some legally ordained and regulated relationship. If the pedophile is the child's stepfather, foster parent, former spouse, teacher, gym instructor, sibling, you name it. Or the pedophile may say, I mean, I have a legitimate relationship not with a child, but with a parent, with a child's parents. Um, I don't know. I'm a former boyfriend. I'm a one night stand. I'm a colleague. I'm a coworker. And this legitimate entry, this legitimate access point, intrusion point allows the pedophile to extend the legitimacy and misapply it to the child itself. The pedophile does have a legitimate relationship with a child or his environment and then extends it to the child himself. Consequently, pedophiles react badly to any perceived rejection by their victims. They turn on a dime and they become dangerously vindictive, out to destroy the source of their mounting frustration. When the relationship looks hopeless, some [snorts] pedophiles violently embark on a spree of self-destruction and the destruction of the child. For example, if the child is held captive and then runs away, the pedophile catches up with the child, the child life, child's life is in danger. Pedophilia is to some extent a culturebound syndrome defined as it is by the chronological age of the child involved. Ephibop ephibopilia for for instance the exclusive sexual infatuation with teenagers is not considered to be a form of pedophilia or even a paraphilia. It may be criminal if it's under the age of consent but it's not considered me mental a mental problem psychological problem. So ifophilia heilia they are not the same as pedophilia. The very idea of impermissible and possibly illegal sex with I mean sex with various population groups is highly contested and it's a question of a specific culture, specific society, a specific period in history. In some countries what would qualify as children get married legally are of marriageable age. So what's permissible and impermissible is in flux. But I think there's a consensus worldwide that sex with children is taboo, is wrong, is forbidden and criminal. Sex with children has emerged in the west hand in hand with the novel concept of childhood and as I said with feminism. There was no concept of a child until the 19th century. Basically there were little men and Louisa May Olcot little women little men in Dickens there were little men and little women childhood and adolescence as designated periods in personal growth and development are new concepts especially adolescence it's a very new concept and so um sex with children has emerged in the west hand in hand with a novel concept of childhood and as western dominance and values spread globally ly so did western mores and ethics, sexual ethics. In some cultures, societies and countries, Afghanistan for instance, the age of consent is as low as 12. It used to be 14 in Canada. The marriageable age in Britain until the end of the 19th century was 10. Sex and genital foreplay with children was common, encouraged, and even medically prescribed literally all over the world until 150 years ago. insist and pedophilia were often linked and in some cultures sanctioned. Various religious texts, including the Jewish Talmud, surprisingly progressive for its time, permit sexual relations, including incest, as early as age three for a girl or eight for a boy, including what we would call today incest. Yeah. And that's because there was no concept of child. The minute the body was ready, people didn't see any problem with sexual relations. It's not the case today. Of course, we do realize nowadays what these people did not know that childhood is a window of vulnerability should never ever be probed or exploited in any way, shape or form. Pedoptohilia was and is a common and socially condoned practice in certain tribal societies and isolated communities. The island of Pitken for example. But there is no real justification. There is no way to legitimize this. This is horrendous, abhorrent. There's no way to justify this. And so it should absolutely be criminalized. And so taking all this into account, it would perhaps be wise to redefine pedophilia as an attraction to sexual acts or to romantic love with prepubescent children or with people of the equivalent mental age. for example, intellectually challenged people in contravention of social, legal and cultural accepted practices at the time. You take all this into account and in view of all the narratives that I've mentioned earlier, you would understand that pedophilia is multivaried, is a kind of spectrum. Some of types of pedophilic disorders, pedophilic acts are mutually exclusive. Sex doesn't play a major role actually at all. It's more about romance and companionship and so on and love, a sense of safety, childhood. And that increasingly pedophilia is becoming a substitute to adult relationships [clears throat] because of the breakdown in gender relations and women's refusal to continue to play the childlike wave to cater to men's hidden pedophiliac tendencies.