Try These Mindset Hacks to Find Your Passion and Conquer Your Goals | Impact Theory

[Music] hey everybody welcome to impact theory we have had the honor of having some of the most amazing guests on impact theory not only did they blow up the internet but they also revealed some of the most powerful advice on one of my favorite topics of all time how to develop an empowering mindset the advice from these past guests is so impactful that i wanted you to have it all in one place so you could make the most of developing your own empowering mindset this episode will give you tangible advice on how to start changing your mindset right now for anyone who missed these guys the first time around here is a brief summary of the amazing people you're about to encounter in today's episode lily singh youtube superstar named by forbes magazine the number one influencer in the entertainment category and also taking on her newest role as host of the late show a little late with lily singh on nbc marie forleo an eight-figure entrepreneur recognized by inc magazine for building one of the fastest growing companies in america in addition to being a best-selling author trent shelton a former nfl wide receiver one of the biggest social influencers on the planet and considered by many to be one of the most impactful speakers of his entire generation jay shetty a former monk whose wisdom has truly gone viral helping to land him on forbes 30 under 30 list in 2017. wim hof a real life superhero who holds 26 official guinness world records for feats that were long believed to be fatal or just outright impossible john assaraf a wildly successful serial entrepreneur who has built five multi-million dollar companies he's a multiple time new york times best-selling author and a much sought-after coach and speaker so get ready to completely change your mindset starting with our first guest v1 and i assure you only lily singh okay so i begin to recognize the things that that are making me tired fatigue and these are signs that i'm not on the right path but i know the next question is going to be so how do i find the right path what what is that process yeah you know for me i went through this phase where i just stopped saying no to things so when i first started youtube i thought okay i'm i'm opening the gates up to this new platform and this new type of creation i've never done before but i've also started going to shows more often i start to meet different types of people i think a big part of finding out what's right for you is stop confining yourself to a path that you've been convinced is the path this what i'm doing right now is nowhere on the path for a young indian girl that's a part of my family like this is nowhere on the path it was very much so go to school and get married and have kids and that's a success if you if you're able to have those kids and give my mom some grandkids you're successful and i think it's about really stepping outside of that and exploring whether that's in school and taking classes that you might not take at first glance whether it's going and experiencing different types of arts meeting different types of people making new friends i think there's so much out there that you don't even know exists and i'm a testament to that i make videos on the internet ask my mom if she thought that could have been a job when she was growing up you know so i think it's all about just really getting out there and seeing what's available and so then what are the signs that somebody should look for to know that okay this is something that resonates i think i okay i love sleep i just do episode i love sleep but there's some mornings when i wake up and i'm like i don't even care how tired i am i'm so excited about this day so i think being excited to wake up also you'll just see it in your energy i think as well the little pep in your step i have when i'm walking to set is really telling also the people you surround yourself with i think when you start to get surrounded by people and my team is a great example of this that really bring out the best in you and you feel yourself growing and learning and maybe a little more patient or a little more creative or you think about things a little differently any type of evolution like that i think is definitely signs you're doing the right thing you know this this entire career path has been everything but comfortable no part of it's comfortable so even on the days when i come home and i think that was horrible that audition was horrible i can literally feel part of me evolving as like okay what you did and now you know for the next one what to do you'll know what to expect for the next one and those scary things are all signs that you're doing the right thing because you're growing that's really interesting and the concept of getting outside of your comfort zone i know that's really big for you how do you push yourself to do that and how do you make sure that you're getting something out of it because i'll give you like a real fear that i have for people because it's exactly what happened to me so i forced myself out of my comfort zone same thing i know that famous quote like your your dream world's just on the other side of your comfort and all that so i put myself into business i was learning it i was always behind i always was embarrassing myself and looking stupid and so as i was gaining skills i was also gaining a massive amount of anxiety and so how do people make the most of those moments of discomfort well you know it's i'm happy that you touched on anxiety because it's a real thing and a lot of being an entrepreneur is stressful and it is it does take a toll on your body your mind and your health and so something i believe to be equally as productive as work is meditation and taking some time to recover i have something called rejuvenation sunday i mean it's in my calendar it prompts up sometimes on that sunday i'm like need to even work but it's in my calendar and it goes off every sunday um i think taking those times to actually consolidate those lessons and resetting yourself is very very important because at the end of the day we are beings that get tired and we wear down and i think that's important but making the most out of stepping out of your comfort zone i have this thing where i like to visualize things i know because it's easy to talk about all of these things and then talk about tumblr quotes and like oh cool success but when you're actually down to it it's hard it's hard walking into an audition for example and then doing really badly and going home and thinking well oh well i stepped out of my comfort zone so i should be happy that's not a practical thing that's going to happen you're going to go home you'll be sad you're going to eat the ice cream i've done it i've done it all the time but i think visualizing like okay this is me this is my goal and i literally do this with my hands every time i have a failure this is me this is the goal there is nothing in between there i need to create what is in between there whether i do really well or really bad that's going to be a step and i think visualizing every failure as a little stone towards where you need to go is really helpful you talk really powerfully about ownership and taking on mistakes in those moments where you've just fallen on your face and you're feeling uber shitty and you want to go eat the bowl of ice cream or maybe you're knee-deep in the haagen-dazs um how do you begin to like get yourself out of that to tell yourself something that's that's ownership-based that's like this was me i created this situation and so yeah the reason i'm so big on ownership is because i'm obsessed with efficiency and i just feel like it's so much more efficient to take ownership for things than to not because if you don't take ownership for something who's gonna fix it then it's just hanging there in the air of this unsolved problem that no one's addressing when you take ownership from a mistake or a decision or something you did not even a mistake maybe a bad audition you did you are then able to at least work on it and improve for the next time if you don't take ownership like oh is the casting director oh it was because i was sick it was because of whatever you've literally said okay i need to change nothing now it's not in my control taking ownership means you've taken control to actually make a different impact the next time you do that thing so it's just the smart factual scientific efficient thing to do so speaking of being able to back out of a show yes you've talked about having shit-tastic days which is a great word yes um we all have them but you also talk about our ability to control our state and that we can actually shift the way that we feel inside without having to have any new external stimulus just literally decide i'm going to change the way that i feel how do you do that because i think if people can understand not only the effectiveness of that but actually the steps to take it could be a game changer yeah i think it's really simple for me i try and play this practice of you know if i ever feel like in any moment life is not going the way that i think it should be going it's because i'm resisting what is you know if someone didn't turn in their work on time and i'm just like you know getting that way or something didn't come out right or the delivery doesn't come or the technology breaks again we can list anything in that slot right it's me arguing with reality i'm making myself miserable in that moment because i'm choosing to argue with what is that's always a losing proposition so the more awareness i can bring to that and go like is this really how you want to live your life in this moment marie because every single moment as you know sets you up for the next moment and you string these moments together and guess what you have your life until we get to that incredible death bet we never know when that's coming so every single moment is an opportunity for us to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves and so i just try and play the game if i'm miserable if i'm upset if i'm angry if i'm cranky it is my responsibility because it's based on what i'm thinking or believing in that moment it's not the outside world causing me to feel this it's what i'm doing up here that's making me have that reaction and if i'm the problem i am also the solution so how do you in your own life begin to unwind that so you i'm assuming you literally walk yourself to that so you realize okay i'm the problem i know this yes um is it visualization is it framing is it saying i'm going to take a new perspective on this yeah it it literally is like lighten up girl you're fine like do you have a roof over your head right now yes then things are damn good is there some food in the fridge you're probably luckier than millions of people on the planet right now is there running water in the kitchen and in the bathroom yes again you're better off than probably a billion people or more so that little reframe helps me and then in the moment again it sounds so simple but i think we're all searching for these really complex things and we don't need them if you can catch yourself arguing with reality in the moment and realize that's not a wise thing to do you can then back yourself up and go okay that didn't turn out right so what am i going to do about it am i going to be miserable in this moment and let this ruin my night or am i going to send off the email to say hey when's that work going to come and let's readjust our communication plan so this doesn't happen again but the argument and the irritation is not necessary to get a new result yeah energy is something that's i find really interesting and i'm picking up on something that you said in that oftentimes i find people can't talk about it in a way that uh does anything but give me the hives but you actually can so just because it gets so detached yeah from my real experience yes but you one way that you make it really concrete which i think is super interesting and gave me this real sense of how to externalize what i'm doing internally to actually change the neurochemistry that i'm experiencing yes in order to be able to convey something new which is you've said hey you're about to write somebody in email and then you give people advice on like what to visualize and all that um do you know what i'm talking about i don't so this sounds really good i'm like wow did i come up with this this is great it's you so now i get to teach you yeah please teach me my own stuff so this sounds awesome it it you said that hey you're about to email somebody and depending on what it is you may be in an aggressive statement oh yes yes yes um so the fact that your energy gets embedded into your communications we all know that right like you've received the email that's curt and you can just almost feel the punch in the face that comes through you've gotten the text where you're like they are definitely pissed at me um i believe and i do this a lot with email marketing especially in our business every time i sit down to write a new email i want the other person who receives this email to the best of my ability to feel the love and the energy and the respect and the excitement that i have not only for the idea that i'm about to share but for the impact it could have on their life i want them to feel all of me you know if i'm sitting there writing an email and i'm like just feeling flaccid i mean what's that copy going to be like it's not going to be any good but if i'm there and i'm like playful and i'm excited about it so that excitement is conveyed and when someone's looking through their inbox and they see something from me nine times out of ten because i'm consistent they know if they click open it's gonna be a good time right there's gonna be love in that email there's going to be an energy to that email that's different and i mean you've probably experienced this in your own life in simple ways when someone makes a request of you they care to even put an emoji because it's not just them try it's like that was a genuine expression of their excitement i'm sure if your wife asks super something and her energy is such that there's love embedded in it you're a hundred times more likely to want to say yes right 100 yes so we all feel this stuff and i think that if you can consciously begin to practice it then you're going to notice the impact and the results your obsession with authenticity with being really who you are at all times i think is really cool to see you um get the kind of community that you've gotten around that being vulnerable and opening yourself up but what i find really interesting is you're also the flip side of the coin so as you were talking i was like he's absolutely right but the reason that i'm willing to listen to you about it because you're also driven you're trying to improve yourself you are trying to be great you are trying to be strong and tough you're just not afraid about it yeah like how do you do both i just i'm real with myself and i'm honest like we're humans you're gonna i mean everybody isn't on all the time you know we all have our struggles our silent battles as i like to call them and instead of ignoring those solemn battles i let them out but yes i am a person that's will tell you make the world respect your greatness i'm very firm on that i'm a person that believes in myself i'm a person that wants you because i believe that's contagious like even with social media i feel like that's what really grew my platform is people looked at my life not because of my knowledge or whatever it's like trent really believes this like he really does he really lives it he really he doesn't just talk it or type it he lives and that's a big thing for me you know i can tell people a secret right be transparent like in a real way because that creates connection now it's like i can relate to that person you know growing up in the church i'm gonna be real with you tom like i would watch pastors and preachers and i would be like i could never be them because it was always perfection i was like i could never beat him so i just chose a different lifestyle but now when i see people like say you know what i struggle with this i struggle with addiction doesn't mean you're not awesome because you have addictions everybody has addictions everybody has about battles some people just hot there is better so i relate more to that because now it becomes attainable now you become relatable to me and i can be like wow like i can still go through this there's nothing wrong with me i'm a human i'm going to have my insecurities my flaws and i can actually grow from it so i think we need more examples of the world of that and that's what i just try to give people as much as i can you have a great way of like packaging things up and these really memorable um phrases one that you said earlier that i want to get back to you is you said a lot of people never unwrap their gift yeah and that really hit me what is that look like like how does one unwrap their gift yeah it's it's a process this is the process of i think face and fear i mean and we can talk about fear for like because facing fear is is super important we can talk about like my process with that i think in order to unwrap your gift so i'm not gonna go into my skydive story that'll take forever but i realize like what fear is right and for me fear is creating a known result right from a situation we haven't experienced yet and so when i used to go back to football when i would be scared to go out there and perform i'd be like you know what i'm gonna drop the ball i'm gonna miss the pass and the whole crowd of 80 000 people is going to be like ah so i'm like i'm scared now stage when i'm on stage before i was speaking what do you think i was thinking i'm gonna freeze up again nobody's gonna care all of these things i realized that i was creating a result before i ever experienced it and so i said hmm if that's the case i need to create something better on the other side of that door something more empowering that's going to force me to actually go through the door so now when i speak i say you know what i'm going to impact at least one life so go out there and do it you know when it comes to my skydiving of course that thing was the parachute's not going to open you're going to die of course you're not going to jump out of playing but i immediately changed that so this is going to be the most incredible thing and also leverage where now i can use this in every area of my life because i conquered my biggest fear so people out there that are going through fear for moments it's kind of like this you will never step into the ring if you're already telling yourself that you're gonna lose before the fight you'll never do that like why would you right so tell yourself you're gonna win even if you get knocked down guess what you're never knocked out in life until you actually tap out into your last day so figure out that leverage point with your fear what's going to help you walk through the door and then you have to just give it to the world i never knew speaking was my gift until i actually went out there and failed i actually went out there and embarrassed myself and i realized like wow this is what i was created to do and i knew that because i like to put it like this and i hope they get it that's watching this but i've never had so much like peace in the midst of like fear never had so much confidence in the midst of like my weakness in that moment and so when it comes to gifts think about it like this like when someone gives you a physical gift like christmas and your birthday what do you do you unwrap it you show it to the world you put on instagram you got that same gift inside you that the world needs and you're doing the world of disservice by leaving your gift wrapped up somebody needs your story my mom told me this and i'll never forget he said trent you're assigned to reach people i don't know how many but you're assigned to reach people that nobody else can reach but you she said everybody has that and the more you leave your gift wrapped those people that need your message that need your encouragement whatever it is that needs your talent they're never gonna get it and you're not gonna leave this world a better place codify this for me or for anybody that wants they don't know what their ideal life looks like they just know that they're not living it yet so uh step number one is take it seriously to find out if the hypothesis is true or not you have to take the um the the experiment you have to do it sincerely um what comes after that i think even one step before that is is opening yourself up to new role models and new experiences see we live in echo chambers we're just surrounded by the same thinking how often do you bump into a monk you know it just doesn't happen you don't have no one has a dinner party and goes oh yeah we just invited the monk you know from town like the local monk like no one ever does that and so we meet people who are just like us most of the time and we talk about this in business all the time if you want to be a billionaire spend time with billionaires if you want to be a millionaire spend time with millionaires if you want to be a tech startup spend time with you know that's that's the common rhetoric that we hear all the time but what if you want to find purpose and master the mind there's no one better than a monk who's mastered the mind so so for me the first step is just opening yourself up to new experiences and new role models because most of us can't see ourselves in people so then we try and fit ourselves into the boxes that we do see and and i mean there's this beautiful quote that i've been saying it everywhere and i wish i wrote it but i didn't so it's by a philosopher and writer named cooley and he said that today i'm not what i think i am i'm not what you think i am i am what i think you think i am right and just let that blow your mind for a moment it's uh it's so powerful i'm not what i think i am i'm not what you think i am i am what i think you think i am so we live in this perception of a perception of ourselves hence my identity is made by what my parents think i should be my identity is made up by what my college or university thinks i should achieve while you're living in that bubble in that echo chamber getting to what you really want to do is impossible because maybe that just doesn't fit and i think so many people feel that way today that they don't fit into the current education system they don't fit with the three or four or five careers that you're taught exist so that process of self-excavation and actualization first requires being exposed you can't be what you can't see if i never saw a monk i would never have wanted to be a monk if i never meet a billionaire i wouldn't want to be one because i wouldn't know what that feels like i don't know what it looks like i don't know what it takes and i think that's the biggest challenge of our society that we're not exposed so that's the first step being exposed to unique experiences and role models second step is finding that experience or role model that you're passionate about and exactly like you said taking it seriously shadow them network with them spend time with them observe them even from afar it takes that observation being addicted to observing that person's lifestyle and then the third step is going yes or no does that work for me not everyone who's going to go off and become a monk is going to feel like the way i did and that's cool but not everyone is going to go and follow and shadow a billionaire anger that's exactly the lifestyle i want they may want the result but do they want the hard work that goes with it and so for me that's the third step it's observing focusing shadowing getting as close to the process of that individual and then going yes or no do i want that process not do i want the result everyone wants to be that monk who's fully enlightened you know can walk through has an incredible aura that people just gravitate towards but when you realize he has to wake up at two am every day and sleeps about four to six hours you're like ah you know i don't want to do it that doesn't sound like me all right so a couple things one you said he's as powerful as he is yeah find power for me power being so from amongst perspective perspective the greatest power is to be self-controlled to be able to train the mind and energy to focus it exactly where you want it and when you want it to be you are completely detached and undeterred from external ups and downs you're able to navigate anything that seems tough challenging fun excitement with the same amount of being equipoised and balanced in equanimity without being too excited in pleasure or being too depressed in pain but knowing how to navigate every situation to me that's great strength and great power i heard in one of your talks you were saying that if you look at um a literal lifeline a heartbeat for instance you know it's up and it's down and people have this sense that something like enlightenment would be that um the equanimity forever and just an even keel and you said but what what does that resemble it resembles a flat line when you die correct so what is it like what i love about you is you sort of went into the wilderness of being a monk but you've brought it back to the real world because when you talk about a monk you talk about them being detached and that to me seems like the only real way to have that sort of super even keel existence which is not appealing to me personally so if you're bringing back that notion of power of having control over yourself not letting your emotions take you everywhere but knowing that life is is the series of ups and downs what does that power look like when it's brought back absolutely and actually that's the whole aim of monk training it's it's more like a training system than it is a lifelong commitment it is bringing that mindset into the real world where you get to test it now i got to do that for real when i left being a monk around five years ago and when i left it was like oh my god i'm in the real world now again real world i have to think about how to apply all this i'm gonna test for real all this stuff that i've learned and i was scared like i was nervous i was anxious and all those things that i've been trained not to be rushed back because for the first time in my life i had to really put it into practice and i love that feeling i'm so glad that i had to do that so for me actually the mindset is completely trainable to bring into the real world that's that's what i'm trying to do and and what it allows you to do is it allows you to grain clarity and perspective when you need it because you know when you can just take a bird's-eye view from something you know when you need to get close into something you know when you need to pull back from something there's a beautiful verse in the bhagavad-gita that says that detachment is not that you owe nothing detachment is that nothing owns you so you've got happiness strength and health and health so what is happiness happiness is all the euphoric hormones related to the endocannabinoid system we have absolute access therein at will we only need to invest and exercise into that like a child has to learn to walk so what do you want you want to be dependent on pills and this and that and drugs etc or do you want to get high on your own supply it's there why do you play guitar uh music is the voice of the heart of course of your feeling and it's resonance and resonance getting into the brain waves and we have tested this with the nasa equipment doing the breathing makes you able to go into these deep alpha delta gamma waves inc fully controlled but music shift your brain wave just at will yes anybody can do that how far could you could you go to like if i said we're all gonna make noise but i want you to get into a gamma wave state which is like deep meditation could you do that in like five minutes or less a couple of minutes i'm getting there wow i'm resonating with that voice with that resonance and that affects certain parts of the brain deeper parts of the brain who are connected with the voice and the and and of resonance and which is a deeper part of the brain begins to actively be activated thus the blood flow begins to descend into the depth of the brain and then it becomes enlightened and activated and gets the nutrients and the biochemistry that's meditation all about now mindfulness is very much researched and it shows that through mindfulness you are able to activate deeper parts of the brain they become more alive because simply the blood flow goes to these deeper parts but what we have seen now in the brain scans not even seasoned practitioners in mindfulness are able to activate those parts you have been activating and i say it's innately capacitated to anybody but it needs the conscious technique and the passing on of that not money etc but it is there but it needs to be awakened it needs to be shown if you always walk to this way to the house because that's your knowledge you don't know the shortcut which was always there god is there any way for you to put it into words so obviously there's no substitute for the training but what what is it like they're such practice meditators but they can't do what you can do so what is that thing that you're able to pass on in four days the confidence opening up your heart and suddenly you become aware that it is simply there within four days we get into a tribal sense together there is no me and you we are together in nature battling call there there is no thought you help each other you get this natural sense of helping each other which enables me like oxytocin i help you it's really strong that oxytocin within those groups i do in nature within one and a half day they are out of their conditioned state of the mind holding in tension and they are completely open relaxed and then they are able to let go and let the body do what the body is able to do in extreme situations because they are no longer confined in their narrowed consciousness everything reacts directly and finds the answer and with that comes everybody and and it all suddenly makes sense that love is the greatest power of the universe and that we lost the tribal sense of helping each other and that makes them able in just four days to go in temperatures like way down and freezing temp freezing conditions and then having great fun and dense harlem shake and your socks off on the mountain top after hours in the those conditions those that makes the depth suddenly aware to one's consciousness and that is like i never felt this i never yeah but that's you and that you we are here to promote to show that everybody has it and so all the problems in the world we have a system inside in willful possible command if we only exercise and awaken to it to handle anything that comes to us because that's the way we were built not hopeless full of hope and not 20 of the brain capacity within our command but hundred and there it is and with 100 we find freedom because we can go anywhere without fear because we are in control you always say release weight you never say lose weight yeah what do you do when you lose something look for it yeah i don't want to look for weight that i've lost i want to release it i like to use language patterns as well that are going to empower me versus disempower me self-talk is so critical and so i'm consistently paying attention to how am i speaking to myself am i speaking to myself in a kind motivating empathetic compassionate way or am i consistently self-deprecating and putting myself down i used to think a lot like when i was younger i'm not good enough i'm not smart enough i'm not worthy those thoughts uh and you know lots of fear fear of being embarrassed fear of failure fear of being ashamed and i still have the thoughts every once a while especially when i'm setting new goals those come up holy mackerel they come up so freaking fast are you smart enough to achieve that are you good enough to achieve that even when i got into really diving deep into the brain science and even my new book i had i was petrified to release my book it took me two years to write it because now i'm entering another whole domain of neuroscience and neuropsychology with world-renowned experts that i've worked with for years but now here i am putting myself out there with hey this is neuroscientifically correct so i had to make sure that it was but there's a lot of fear but i understand what the emotion of fear is it's a subconscious trigger that causes this feeling that i don't like and it's a ghost signal for me not a stop signal for me that's interesting what do you mean by that well fear is an emotion emotions are all triggered at the subconscious level they release neurochemicals that causes a feeling we are consciously aware of feelings that are triggered at the subconscious level the feeling is the end point of the human experience in the physical body and so when you have something in your brain that that a neural network says well what if this book comes out and you fail what if it's not good enough what is scientifically not correct what if what if what if my brain is going to process that the same way as your brain and everybody else because that's everybody's brain is the same the mechanism of how the brain works it's einstein's brain hitler's brain genghis khan's brain tom biliu's brain john acetate all the same functionality so if you understand the mechanics of what's supposed to happen then you say okay great when i feel this then what am i going to do so i like to use an analogy of a car you're driving a car and you're talking to a friend of yours and a light pops up on the dash you don't take a hammer and hit a light it's a signal something's happening in the in the in the engine in the trunk in the in the tires something's happening emotions and feelings aren't uh positive or negative they're empowering or disempowering to varying degrees if you don't understand them and so if you think about fear right how does a firefighter go into a burning building when there's this enormous adrenaline and an epinephrine you know that could stop most people dead in their tracks they learn here's the feeling it's normal do you have the knowledge and the skills and the preparation to deal with this in a safe way go if you don't now you retreat so we have this phenomenal brain right it's it's it's genius abilities we can't figure out how to replicate it anywhere with billions of dollars but we are getting some of the user's manual now so when you feel fear what should you do i teach the first two inner sizes that i teach every one of our students number one is called take six com the circuits so if you have this unpleasant anxious fearful emotion energy in motion right and it's unpleasant and the breaks have gone on if you just take six deep breaths in through your nose out through your mouth like you're breathing through a straw you will deactivate the stress response center which means blood is going to go back to the left prefrontal cortex the einstein part of the brain can actually think through this problem because what happens when the stress response center is activated blood goes away from that into the fear response so you have epinephrine cortisol adrenaline to be able to get you out of this situation it's part of our instinctual brain part of the reptilian brain the first part of the brain that was developed was that then the mammalian brain the limbic system then the neocortex the thinking brain so when our brain has this signal of oh my god you might get hurt you might lose this you might get in trouble you might be embarrassed ashamed ridiculed judged etc that part of the brain is going to get activated so if you take six deep breaths first calm down calm the circuits first then do inner size number two is called aya aia the first day is for awareness what am i thinking right now what am i feeling right now what am i sensing right now what is my behavior right now to you thoughts feelings sensations awareness of behavior what's my intention right now that's the i well my intention is to move forward i want to do this great what's one very small action step that you can take now the reason you want to take one small action step is one small action step your brain can handle if it's one small step towards it the threat response goes away but if you focus on the end game right away you're going to get that rush and that instant trigger of the fear response stress response so the first thing you want to do is learn how to manage your mindset and what you focus on learn how to manage your emotions because they drive your behavior more than anything else because we move away from pain and we move towards pleasure but we move away from pain a thousand times faster and pain wires in the brain faster for survival mechanisms so purely from a neuroscience perspective just understanding self once you understand okay this feeling is normal okay what should i do take six comm the circuits ayah and now you can start being progressive and make progress towards what you want that me focus on progress to just keep getting better little incremental gains every day every week every month every quarter and even when you move backwards a couple of steps what's the progress that you made in what you learned