Video summary
The video explores the chaotic and satirical experience of playing as a police officer in *The Precinct*, a game that glorifies the abuse of power through reckless violence and rule-breaking. The protagonist, Kevin, embraces his role not as a protector of the law, but as a loose cannon who believes he is the greatest policeman of all time by any means necessary. His approach to policing involves running over civilians with patrol vehicles, firing indiscriminately into crowds, and using explosives to clear out suspects without regard for collateral damage. Despite causing massive destruction, costing the city millions in damages, and killing numerous innocent bystanders, Kevin receives praise from his superiors, earning pay bonuses and stickers for what is described as "tidy work."
The narrative highlights the absurdity of the game's mechanics, where lethal force is often the only viable option due to poor AI behavior and a lack of meaningful non-lethal alternatives. Kevin frequently ignores standard police procedures, such as reading rights or attempting de-escalation, opting instead to shoot suspects immediately or use improvised weapons like fire extinguishers and car bombs. The game's logic seems to reward this brutality, with the protagonist often finding himself in situations where he must choose between following protocol and achieving his own twisted sense of justice. Even when faced with internal monologues about avoiding paperwork or dealing with drunk driving scenarios, the player consistently chooses the most destructive path, further emphasizing the theme of unchecked authority.
Despite the carnage caused, the game's world reacts with a bizarre mix of apathy and encouragement from fellow officers and civilians alike. Kevin interacts with colleagues who either ignore his actions or join in the chaos, such as flying helicopters without experience or engaging in drunk shootouts. The setting itself is filled with humorous inconsistencies, from criminals running directly into police stations to suspects surrendering immediately upon seeing a patrol car. The protagonist's internal monologue reveals a complete disregard for consequences, viewing the destruction of property and loss of life as acceptable collateral damage in his quest to clean up the streets. Ultimately, the video concludes with Kevin accepting his role as a destructive force who operates outside the law, finding satisfaction in the very chaos he creates while being celebrated by the system he supposedly serves.
Read the full video transcript
Hey there friends. How's it going? My
name is Kevin and today we're playing
The Precinct where I'm going to be the
greatest policeman of all time. This is
probably the best police game I have
ever played. I've never felt so
powerful. Hell yeah. All right, let's
get out of here, buddy. We got littering
to stop. Oh, she was jwalking or
something. I don't know. I just know it
wasn't my fault. How do I put on the
siren? There we go. You see, we got an
emergency because I've been given the
vehicle and a gun. No hot dogs for you.
What? I ran a woman over with my vehicle
and I opened fire into a crowd of
civilians. And the thing that failed was
not getting myself a hot dog.
All right, remember where we parked.
>> Good job, rookie.
>> Thank you. Yes, I know. Hand over the
hot dogs.
>> The guy's fearless. He knows he has plot
armor for some reason.
>> Central to all units. Bank robbery in
progress.
>> Bank robbery. Bank robbery.
Ow.
I blocked the door so they can't get
out. Wait, there are side doors.
>> Ow. Ow. Ouchie. Hold on. My plan will
still work. I'm going to shoot the car
enough so it explodes and kills all the
baddies.
Just a couple more minutes and it'll be
all over for you guys.
I have run out of ammo. [laughter]
I can get ammo from my patrol vehicle,
but my patrol vehicle's over there. An
officer has died. Any second now,
there'll be an explosion so large it'll
kill all of the bad guys.
There we go. It didn't get anyone. All
right, I got another plan. Mister,
you're not using this as cover or
anything, are you? I'm sure you're not.
You'll be fine. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I'm
bleeding out. I'm bleeding out. My car
is on fire. How come their car is so
flammable, but mine held out for ages?
Call out failed. Where did they draw the
line? [laughter]
This time, I delivered the car bomb
right to them. Oh no, I'm stuck. Oh no.
Oh no.
My excellent car bomb idea worked. And
now the rest of the villains are
fleeing.
>> Sorry. Sorry.
>> Look out.
>> Yeah. Look out, idiots. I'm doing police
stuff over here.
Sorry. Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
>> Sorry, everyone. Sorry.
>> Oh, sorry, partner. Look, I'm just going
to say sorry once and you can use that
as a blanket apology for all of my
actions. Die. Die. Die. Yes. Look out,
partner. Vehicle fire. Run out.
[screaming]
>> Always give suspects an opportunity to
surrender. Um, he's already dead. I just
shot him before you told me. Then I'll
role play it anyway.
>> I will shoot you.
>> Terminated.
>> Copy that, 84.
>> You did good, kid.
>> What the Oh my god. Oh, a lot of
explosions today. I'm wrapping up the
bodies now. Why do I have to do
everything? Case closed. Get out of the
road, you mad man. What's this guy doing
with a body trolley in the middle of the
road? Lunatic. All right, I'm out of
here. I've saved the city. Yep. 10 bad
guys dead. About 20 civilians that I hit
with my car. And I cost the city
millions of dollars in damages. But
that's why this precinct needs me. I'm a
loose cannon who doesn't play by the
rules. I'll stop at anything to clean up
the streets. Did you just litter? I
didn't see you do it, but I do see it in
your body language. Oh, sorry, partner.
>> Kick your fire.
>> What? But he was a criminal mastermind.
Go to the evidence room. Why would we
need evidence if I just shoot everyone?
Well, that's the end of my first shift.
Let me summarize the feedback they gave
me. Well, Cadet Kevin, that was some of
the best police manning this precinct
has ever seen. You've earned yourself a
pay bonus and two smiley face stickers.
[cheering]
>> Morning, Cortell. Tidy work yesterday.
>> Tidy? I mean, yes. Thank you. I need to
go out on patrol and this is my
handbook. Non-lethal force. I am not
reading that part. This is what I want
to read. Lethal force. The suspect is
extremely hostile and there's a
perceived threat to human life. Oh, so I
just have to perceive it.
>> Let's go find some parking violations.
All right, that's enough.
[laughter]
>> It sounded like I was just shoting my
partner down. You're blocking a hydrant.
Let that be a lesson to you. What the
hell? Now I can't shoot at all. I
thought this was America. What's this
guy doing? You doing some graffiti
there?
>> Issue the fine and let's get out of
here.
>> No, first I want to antagonize him.
>> Hold it. Don't make it worse for
yourself. All right, that's enough.
>> Yeah, stop resisting arrest. Ow. Oh my
god. Why should I have to go non-lethal?
He punched me in the back of the head.
>> Sorry, partner, but I'm mad at you, too.
You should have had me covered.
>> Assaulting a [ __ ]
>> That's enough. I think you've learned
your lesson. What? It was appropriate.
Name [laughter] one thing I did that was
inappropriate.
>> Get your baton out, partner.
>> There we go. I stunned him. I must break
you, but he's angrier than me.
>> Call an escort unit to take our suspect
to the precinct.
>> The precinct is right there, though.
[laughter]
It's this one here, officer. Make sure
he gets the chair. Wait, what's going on
over there? There's a chase already. But
I'm tired from running in circles. Wait,
I'm the main character, you guys. Lucky
for us, the criminals keep running
towards the police station. You have the
right to remain silent. Hey, so this is
where I work. Let me show you my desk. I
work here. I got my own typewriter and
everything, and I know how to use it.
This is the water cooler. Sometimes me
and the bros hang out here and just
shoot the [ __ ] That's just a saying, by
the way. We don't literally do that.
This is the police chief. I think you
guys will get along really nice. He's
firm but fair and he loves to read as
you can see. I'm just going to boost the
speed of his fan there. He loves when
you do that. And uh I'm going to change
the TV channel. Yeah, he usually just
refuses to acknowledge my existence.
These are two of my best friends. Hey
guys.
guys. All right, hold on. Yeah, there we
go. That got their attention. That
concludes the tour and you are formally
jailed. Just watch out in that cell. One
of them's a psychopath serial killer.
But I won't tell you which one cuz I
like to keep things fun. Don't worry
about me, guys. I don't need any help. I
just really like playing the bell. In
any case, we're going to need to keep
this quiet. What you guys talking about?
I can keep a secret. I overheard
something really bad. So, they let me
fly the helicopter with no experience.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Sorry everyone. It's my
first day. And by that, I mean first day
of flying helicopters. Of course, not my
first day on the force or anything. I've
been here 3 days now. Wait a second. I
think that guy just littered.
>> Hawk 12, you're too low.
>> How am I supposed to deal with the
litterers if I can't smash him? What? He
just surrendered immediately.
>> Increase altitude, Hawk 12.
>> But then he'll just walk away. Shouldn't
we wait for some backup? I did make him
stop in the funniest possible location
right next to that barricade that just
repeatedly goes up and down. Anyway, I
guess we'll just trust him to stay
there. A police pickup will swing by in
a couple hours or so.
>> Why don't you take Cordell out and show
him how we handle reckless driving in
this town?
>> By promoting the cops that do it most.
>> I sure hope so. I'm going to be the
commissioner in no time. Hey, would you
like to talk to me?
Oh, see this is the water cooler where I
hang out with all my cool friends. Oh,
what about this guy? Will you talk to
me?
>> Nope.
>> He just walked away. Hey, civilians, you
got to talk to me or I'll shoot you.
That's not my current objective. That's
not very good small talk at all.
>> Nothing to see over here. Yo, no
lording, folks.
>> At least I can boss them around like
that. I'm looking for speeding vehicles,
but I'm driving backwards. So, they
think I'm driving away from them and
don't reduce their speed.
>> Sorry.
>> Stopped in front of me, but then I
realized I tapped my siren, which asked
him to pull over. [laughter]
Well, that's what he gets for complying.
>> I don't want anyone complying. Okay, you
hear me? If you're doing crime or in my
general proximity, you better be ready
to throw down in a gunfight.
My neck hurts. Oh god, I got to get out
of here.
>> Emergency. Emergency. I need to avoid
doing a lot of paperwork. I can't find
anyone speeding. But I guess if I speed,
then I'll know if I crash into someone.
They're driving safely.
>> Yeah, you're fine, sir. Keep moving.
>> I'm not really crashing into this guy
yet. Okay, I'll pull over. You pulled
over into me.
>> Control, we're on it. What? No,
>> I asked you to pull over, I think. I
don't know what I'm doing with the siren
and I keep hitting [clears throat] into
you. I guess it's confusing. I'm giving
mixed messages for sure. Okay, this
criminal mastermind is pulling over.
Michael O'Neal. Oh, Jesus. You're Irish,
are you? Ah, sure. I probably know your
mommy. Sure. You just drive on. All
right. This guy's probably not Irish.
>> Pull over.
>> Too slow. Too slow. Keep going. Keep
going. Go faster. Go faster.
>> Making my job so difficult.
>> Too fast. Too fast. Pull over.
>> Jeez. If you were given this as a
picture and asked which one of us were
were drunk driving, I don't think you'd
guess it was this fella. But you also
wouldn't be wrong if you guessed me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened here?
Uh, doesn't seem important to me.
Faster, faster. Come on, go faster. We
have formed a conga line. Just a little
more. Come on. Come on. Come on. Just
Here we go. Speeding. Speeding. Don't
let him get away.
>> Yeah. You can't run from us now. We're
going to kill you. Yeah. Can we call in
the army, please? I need a helicopter
backup.
>> The monsters going through the
residential area. How many people have
to die for this one person's
recklessness?
>> Oh, now you want to give up.
>> You have the right to remain silent.
>> Yeah, please do, actually, cuz this is
going to look bad on me if you tell your
side of the story. Please be drunk.
Please be drunk. Please be drunk.
>> Okay, that's sober.
>> All right, but don't don't specify that.
Let's just leave it open to
interpretation. Control, check this one
for prior.
>> Yeah, she's an international gang
leader, right?
>> Nothing flagged in the system. They're
clear.
>> N this um disregard that last background
check.
>> Let's say we run this one downtown
ourselves.
>> Yeah, let's do it. And let's take her
car because ours is kind of rough
looking. Wait, I don't have the
authority to commandeer a vehicle. The
precinct gives out responsibilities in a
weird and erratic manner. All right,
ma'am. Get in the vehicle. I'll show you
what real driving is like. Sorry, lady,
but we contacted everyone you know, and
no one wants to talk to you. Whoopsy
daisy. Nice driving. Thank you very
much. You know, I say we let her go,
actually. I think she needs to pee or
something. What's she doing with her
legs? Come on, don't be shy. Yeah,
goblin posture your way over to the
desk. Hey guys, we uh lost the paperwork
on this one, but I'm pretty sure she
killed a load of orphans or something. I
say send her right to the chair.
Probably better for everyone. Another
hard day's work hanging out at the bar.
Good thing, too. My buzz was starting to
wear off.
>> I've mobilized a SWAT unit for tonight.
>> I'll drink to that.
>> Cordell and Kelly, I want you there with
Ferrer and Lee as part of the backup
squad. But I'm already eight drinks in.
All right, I'll go. If driving the
helicopter drunk was that fun. A drunk
shootout would probably be fun, too. Uh,
where are the baddies coming from, you
guys? Who we hiding from?
There's gunfire. That's probably good.
>> TEAM, GET IN THERE.
>> OH. OH, that's us. Yeah, we're the
ground team. Ground team, wait up.
What? Did they lock the door after them
or something? Hey guys, sorry I'm late.
It's my first shooter. Stop shooting me.
I'm new. I'm new.
>> Okay, that wasn't my fault. My buddy
went in my way intentionally. He just
wants a medical discharge. Say hello to
my little friend. That guy's pretty
friendly. That guy just said, "Eat
this." And did a sick dance. Well, boys,
I guess you could call it murder on the
dance floor. I'm really sad that dancing
guy had to die though. He was really
good. That took us so long and you still
haven't gotten away. Wait, why am I
restraining force? I opened fire on
graffiti artists and this is some gang
leader who just tried to kill the whole
department. All right. Well,
unfortunately for you, I picked a fire
extinguisher as my non-lethal weapon.
Pop, pop, pop. Wait, son.
Wait a minute. I don't have a son.
Before I was sympathetic to you, but now
I know you're a liar. You want to dance?
Are these guys even a gang? Did I
interrupt some sort of dance club? He
just said eat this instead of [laughter]
break dancing. Well, fortunately for me,
your dance moves are fire.
Yeah, sorry. I probably should have
saved that pun for a while. Now we both
got to awkwardly just wait until you
pass out, I guess. Uh-oh, I'm out. Oh
god, don't push me. Hold on. Not to
worry. Surely you keep fire extinguisher
ammo in your ammo crate. He does. Now
that's responsible. All right, I've worn
him down. Now pull his hair.
Yeah, get in the car. Get in the car.
The guy had a video cassette and a
library card. Are we sure we have the
right person? Just drive carefully.
Yeah, this guy just seems like a
responsible citizen.
Oh yeah, the suspect. [laughter] I
didn't even crack a window. That would
have been so cruel. He's just a baby.
>> Good work, all of you, except you,
Cordell. my office.
>> Uh-oh. Is this cuz I didn't read him his
rights or anything?
>> Your father would have been proud of
what you did today, Cordell.
>> Oh, he's trying to inspire me. I'm just
not going to reply. I'll let him get it
out of his system. Inside job. Augustus
gang leader killed after less than 24
hours behind bars. Well, I had to do
something. I didn't read the guy his
rights. Now he has the right to remain
silent.