“This Is Why You’re Broke!” - How To Get MASSIVE Wealth In 2025 | Ken Coleman
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Ken Coleman emphasizes on The Ramsey Show that individuals must take massive responsibility for their own future, rejecting the notion of waiting passively for others to help them change their lives. He highlights a crucial statistic from an 80-year Harvard study which found that 95% of success or failure in life is directly related to the people one associates with; therefore, auditing one's social circle regarding financial health, relationships, physical habits, and spiritual growth is essential for improvement. Coleman illustrates this point by recounting how Dave Ramsey challenged him to run a half-marathon despite his dislike for running long distances. By surrounding himself with an ultramarathon runner friend who set a faster pace, Ken was able to achieve results he couldn't have attained alone, demonstrating that one's environment dictates their performance and potential. When addressing callers seeking guidance or those feeling stuck in confusion, Coleman identifies three primary barriers preventing success: fear, doubt, and pride. He defines these as anxiety about moving forward, a lack of belief in positive outcomes, and prioritizing others' opinions over personal convictions. To overcome this paralysis, he advocates for gaining clarity to build confidence, noting that once an individual sees clearly what needs to be done, courage naturally follows. This concept is vividly demonstrated through his memorable story where a radio station executive told him he lacked the talent to succeed in broadcasting and should focus on his own business instead of volunteering there. Although devastated by this rejection at age 32 with three young children, Ken chose not to retreat but rather used that moment as fuel to write books and start a podcast, proving himself right eventually while maintaining humility about needing to prove his worthiness. Coleman also tackles the difficult topic of losing one's job or facing layoffs, offering a four-step recovery process grounded in emotional intelligence and community support. He suggests first mourning the loss fully rather than suppressing feelings, then immediately surrounding oneself with "lifters"—friends who encourage growth—rather than those who enable victimhood. Thirdly, he recommends serving others whose situations are worse to gain perspective, and finally, actively seeking new opportunities by telling one's story honestly. Furthermore, when discussing retirement, Coleman argues against the idea of simply stopping work entirely, suggesting instead that individuals should "downshift" into volunteerism or passion projects where they continue using their talents for a sense of mission rather than succumbing to depression often associated with traditional retirement. The conversation extends to finding purpose in employment and developing self-awareness among young people, which Coleman considers the most critical superpower currently lacking due to social media distractions and an overemphasis on fleeting passions like basketball that may not align with natural talents. He advises listeners to start by expressing gratitude for their current job's provision of stability before reimagining how it positions them for future growth, reminding themselves daily who benefits from their work even if direct feedback is absent. For young adults navigating a developing frontal lobe and immense societal pressure, he recommends reading "Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty" by Harvey McKay to understand the importance of investing in relationships early on. Ultimately, Coleman concludes that while no one sits around waiting for you to succeed or change your future, taking massive responsibility allows individuals to seize opportunities, heal from past wounds like his broadcasting rejection through humility rather than pride, and build a resilient life defined by clarity and purposeful action.
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no one is sitting around today thinking
about how they can help you if you want
to help yourself and change your future
you have to take mass of responsibility
I recently just changed job sorry I'm
going to get upset okay you just do you
every caller is calling and they're
looking for confidence the work I'm
doing though is not quite what I thought
it was going to be it's understand that
a great coach doesn't just tell someone
or show someone how to do what they need
to do they Empower them to do it gosh
you know exactly what to do yeah set
yourself free man content is a wonderful
thing what am I supposed to do with my
life every human will one day wonder
that question that's fascinating to me
once you seek Clarity then confidence
takes care of itself there's your answer
so what do you do with the people who
are lazy lazy is a symptom the source of
the
laziness
[Music]
is Ken Coleman thank you so much for
coming on host to the ramsy show really
appreciate it what have you learned from
Dave and what makes him stand out above
other people that he's the genuine
article he really is the same guy in
meetings uh around a fireplace with a
cigar he's the same guy now his his the
way he may come across may be a little
bit different in in personal or
professional settings when he's not on
the air but one of the things that I've
been just so uh uh
genuinely impressed with having known
him for 20 plus years now work with him
for 10 is that he's the genuine article
he really and I'm not trying to stay on
that one theme but that's the thing that
impresses me most um is that uh he he is
a guy who lives what he believes there's
just no hypocrisy there so that's that's
one thing the other thing is is U he
surrounds himself with really good
people is very very disciplined with
that and you know that's an entire topic
like that to me is probably is at this
stage of my life and career um as I've
got three teens one's in college
now um the data is clear that 95% of
your success or failure in life is
directly related to the people you hang
out with and this is from the Harvard
study the longest study on relationships
that's ever been done continues to this
day that's one of their key findings and
you know he's just very intentional from
how we hire who we hire from a
professional standpoint but then in his
personal life uh just very disciplined
and very selective in who he hangs out
with that's interesting I haven't heard
about that Harvard study so you're
saying 95% of your Su success is derived
from who you spend your time with
success or failure success or failure
how do they even conduct a study like
I'm curious because this this to me is
like Earth shattering oh yeah statistics
so you can look it up you can Google it
and find it in one second it's been
going on now for 80 plus years oh wow so
they've been following people from
birth to death and they're following
generational so they're following entire
families and they've been this is an
ongoing study it is you talk to any
psychologist anybody that's an expert in
the field of relationships it's the gold
standard it's so there's so much that's
come from that study as you can imagine
I mean it's like a beautiful onion but
that's the piece of data that I've
locked in on and I share that all the
time because if you think about every
area of your life just set this this
this for you you think about your
financial life you think about your
relational life you think about your
professional life think about your
physical life if we just leave it to
that okay and we can throw spiritual in
there if you're a person that considers
yourself to be spiritual let's take
those five areas of your life if you
were to sit down right now Jack and kind
of score yourself out kind of go okay am
I winning in each of these
areas when you look at whether you're
winning or
losing that study would tell you dig in
winning or losing and you can
extrapolate from that that I'm winning
largely or I'm losing largely because of
the people I spend the most time with
and the whole takeaway of that is is the
unbelievable
influence that we have on each other as
humans that's the big takeaway so how
can like the viewer apply this in their
own life you're just saying like maybe
write down how you think you're
performing in those categories map out
your friends and see if there's any like
lagging people there let's take money
for instance let's just so where are you
feel so you're listeners right now all
right folks where are you at you're
winning financially or you losing are
you just kind of hovering you rate it
write it down this a fabulous exercise
I'm doing okay all right now look at the
people you spend the most time
with are they doing okay in their
finances are they winning in their
finances you're going to see a
correlation and you could just keep on
going with that you know are you are you
winning physically do you have good
habits and how you eat how you
exercise yes no average whatever you
want to do there great average suck
whatever and think about the people
you're spending time with and you know
Jim ran also popularize this you know
the the legendary kind of motivational
guys like The Five People You spend time
with you know so you know this is not a
New Concept but this is actual data like
the data is you can have opinions all
you want to I like data and so when you
begin to look at that you go okay and so
what's happening is as you begin to do
inventory on your life do inventory on
your friends there's going to be
correlation so if I if I need to change
something in my life should probably
change the time I'm spending with these
people change my friends now that sounds
heartless I'm not saying that you just
go break up with everybody in your life
but I would begin to put some boundaries
up audit it audit it put boundaries up
where we need boundaries by the way this
this applies to family as well if you
have a family member that's pulling you
down you need some
boundaries that's real and so what
happens is to give you an example uh
Dave Ramsey challenged me years ago in
this companywide Marathon challenge half
marathon challenge he guilted me in
front of the entire staff Coleman you
got to run I hate running I love
exercising I hate running long story
short he put me put the pressure on me I
said I'll do it so I decided I need a
stretch goal in order to do this or I'm
going to wake up one day and go I'm a
grown man I'm not going to run I'm going
to watch football today and so we had
the stretch goal and I called A buddy of
mine who was an ultramarathon I said I
need you to train me and I said I'm
going to need you to run with me a few
times because I inherently knew that if
I run with a better Runner he's going to
set a better Pace than me and by running
with him on one of those long runs he's
just a better Runner he's in better
shape I knew my performance would be
better because he's setting the pace I
am it's almost like he's pulling me in
this gravitational pull that's the
example here of what we take away from
that as we audit and we look at okay who
do we need to be spending time with I
want to spend time with people if I
don't like where I'm at financially I
want to start spending time with dudes
that or my wife and I spending time with
couples that are ahead of us financially
that are because they're going to set a
pace and I think that's the that's the
real richness of that idea it's really
interesting so when people call in and
you're giving them advice on the show
what's one of the commonalities that
really stands out to you or what's
what's one of the most memorable calls
that you've
gotten yeah that that's that's a
different question and it it's uh it
will probably
be one of two calls um it was a lady who
started the call she said uh Ken I think
I'm going to be a unique call for you
today and I was kind of like well all
right let's see we're thousands of calls
in you know everybody's kind of similar
just slightly different details and she
said I said okay shoot she goes I make
$350,000 and I'm miserable and I laughed
and I said tell me what do you do she
goes I'm in pharmaceutical sales and I'm
really good she had a lot of personality
and I was loving this lady you know and
I said okay so why are you so miserable
cuz you got margin you're crushing it
she goes I don't like the work Ken and
she's chuckling and I knew where this
was going and I'm just letting her and
fast forward
um uh she said I'm just so confused I
know it's not this pharmaceutical sales
but I don't know what it is and I Ed
three questions that I use with
everybody who sits and presents that
problem I said all right shut your brain
off and answer the following three
questions with your heart don't think
answer she said okay I said who are the
people you want to help she said women I
said great tell me the problem that
these women have or the desire that they
have she said they're not physically
healthy they're stressed out you know
she went on to describe some things and
I said what is the
solution to that problem that you just
described that you could get most
excited
about and she
said I think coaching and guiding women
to uh get their nutrition and their
exercise uh in a very healthy place and
it will change their physical body and
when they change their physical body and
she began to get emotional I could hear
just a little bit of emotion and she
finish the sentence she said when they
get their physical body in order I think
that they're going to get their
emotional and mental life in order and I
could hear it and I just went right to
it and I just said is that deeply
personal to you and I knew the answer
and she began to
cry yes yes and I said tell me about it
she said I changed my life six months
ago I said what what did you do she said
I've lost 150 lbs and she just broke and
so that's probably the most memorable
call
because it was fun to take that
construct of those three questions that
I've learned over time I didn't come
into this gig knowing those questions
but after coaching thousands of people
on the air you kind of start to see
patterns and it was such a beautiful
thing to see a woman present as
completely
confused and finish the call completely
confident and so I think that's the
answer to the first part of that
question I I have summed it
up um to every caller
is calling and they're looking for
confidence because I represent a coach
and so whatever you're coaching people
on if you're in the coaching business or
want to get in the coaching business
little little little hack here
understand that a great coach an
effective
coach doesn't just tell someone or show
someone how to do what they need to do
they Empower them to do it in other
words they give give them this boost of
confidence almost like a shot in the arm
and they go from seeing to believing
I've seen what you've shown me I need to
do now I think I can go out there and
run that play and I think that's why
those calls for me when someone presents
is so confused and then has this
emotional breakthrough and on the other
side of it this this unbelievable
confidence that's what I think I'm I'm
providing so that people can seize
opportunity but before we get into that
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back to the podcast and how can you help
somebody that is maybe suffering and You
observe them suffering but they can't
they don't see the fact that they're
suffering in their life like how do you
help someone that either doesn't want to
be helped or just doesn't know that they
need help but it's so painfully obvious
to you that's a very insightful question
it's one of the best questions I've been
asking a long time I'm actually glad you
asked it because the answer is in your
question you help them see their pain in
order to get over you s you go how do I
help them see their pain show it to them
get them to a place where they they are
really hurt hurting you see what I'm
saying and and helping them see oh this
is the source of my pain it's it's the
same thing as a as a person who's got a
knee injury going to the doctor all you
know is your knee hurts right and so
what does the doctor do asks lots of
questions moves the knee maybe prods
touches it all this kind of stuff and
what is the doctor trying to do there
just find the source of the pen get
right to the source oh it's here maybe
it's in your MCL right okay now let's
let's go scan the MCL and let's see
where we're at if it's strained you're
going to be okay if it's torn we're
going to have to do surgery and so out
comes all these Solutions so how you
help someone see something that they
don't see is taking them deeper to the
source of the pain it's so because
they're in a place of confusion so they
present like really
confused got all this kind of going on
right same thing we do on the Ramsey
Show on money somebody calls in and
they're going I got 150,000 in debt and
I feeling okay we already know no we got
to get to what is causing all of this
stuff that is making you make decisions
to put yourself behind the eightball we
got to get there because Behavior change
doesn't happen until we see clearly and
so the answer to your question is you
got to take them deeper into the source
of the pain then they go oh okay now I
can see clearly I'm feeling this way I'm
acting this way because of this it's
just like therapy you know anytime you
go to a good therapist they're trying to
take you deeper deeper deeper deeper so
you can see why you're in pain does that
make sense what are some of the traits
that you notice with people who you
don't think are going to succeed where
they call in and you could just tell the
convictions not there are there any
similar any similarities on yes it's the
opposite to that confidence they are so
consumed with
self-doubt or so consumed with fear or
so consumed with pride I think it's
those three things and sometimes they
all work together quick definition fear
is um I'm
worried or anxious that something bad is
going to happen if I move forward if I
take a step forward a positive
step um doubt is I don't believe
something good is going to happen if I
take this step and then pride is I care
more about what other people think or
say about me than what I believe that I
should do right we get this gut feeling
I should do this I should do this I
should do this and it's quickly
overridden by what's my mom going to say
what's my dad going to say what's my
spouse going to say what are my friends
going to say that's a real struggle so
fear doubt and pride are those three
commonalities that I see and when I'm
coaching someone and and I can feel it
and I can hear it that they're not going
to get Beyond those things I I I
absolutely leave that call going they're
not going to do anything yeah not today
okay now right after this uh you
mentioned that you have to prepare
yourself for people who are calling in
and really worried about the election
results and that they're they're you
know having to wrap their mind around
result that they didn't want yeah what
are your predictions for a trump economy
going forward well it's interesting I
think you're going to see pockets of the
economy that will jump start but I'm
friends with a lot of wealthy guys that
are investors and that are in companies
where and I think one of the things I'm
hearing from them uh they believe that
you're going to see a uh uh a a spike in
investment dollars as it relates to
you're going to see some companies that
maybe weren't ready to sell now they're
going to sell you know you're going to
see more investment big business
investment in the economy people kind of
going all right I feel better I'm going
to you know start buying some things
that maybe I was on the sideline for
that kind of thing I think you'll see
that but there's a part of me Graham and
Jack that this is you asked me for a
prediction so I don't mind being wrong
fine there's a part of me that wonders
if we don't see a dip in the economy um
um at first M um I wouldn't be surprised
because we've been talking about this
soft Landing this whole time and it
appears as though where we're seeing
inflation right now has cooled
unemployment's at 4.1% that's again
historically really really low uh so it
appears as though we've had a soft
Landing um but uh I still believe that
commercial real estate's going to blow
up in a bad way I just think everybody
that's smart in that space that I'm
watching they're saying that crisis is
coming coming has nothing to do with
who's who's in the white house so there
might be some interesting things um
housing is still a mess and needs to be
figured out in the sense of
affordability so you might see some
negative things in the economy and I
think you might see some positive things
my guess is he will usher in a lot of
confidence but there might be a dip
before it comes back out sure I think
with that too there's been a lot of talk
about social security and raising the
retirement age and I found it very
interesting I really enjoyed your take
on Ben Shapiro's thoughts on not
retiring and why it's a bad idea and you
mentioned that one in five retirees ends
up getting depressed yeah what are your
thoughts on not retiring yeah um I think
it's overrated I think it's bad for your
health physically and mentally that's
the data it's not my opinion what I
would say is I'm okay with you
downshifting so if retirement means I'm
going to I'm going to step away from
this full-time career that I've been
doing for a long time and I'm going to
change my
lifestyle um but I'm going to stay
active in some type of
volunteerism excuse me guys this is what
happens when you smoke cigars till 3: in
the morning if it means that I'm now
contributing to society in a different
way but it still looks like work not
from the have to but the want to which
is what I preach so I'm getting up and
I'm using my talent what I do best to do
something that I enjoy that's passion to
then produce a result that I care deeply
about that's a sense of mission so use
what I do best to do what I enjoy to
produce the result That Matters to be
let's just shift let's shift our time
and our resources to that
sentence in a different season of life
and that's the point I was making where
I took a little bit you know of an issue
with what he said you know it's like
that's not the human dream to just get
to a stage in your life my gosh the 70s
you've worked your butt off you've done
a great job you've got a lot of freedom
um you know I've read from some some
really interesting people that the 70s
could be your best
decade if if health is
okay and and so I think it's the
equivalent of who's the first guy to
scale Mount Everest my brain is is tired
this morning but he gets to the top of
Mount Everest first person ever he's
with his sherp climbing
partner it's recorded his his Sherpa
partner told the media later that they
put a few momentos down can you imagine
first people ever top of the world and
they're looking
around and he goes points to another
mountain range looks at his sherp of
climbing partner he goes that's the one
we do next that's what I think
retirement should be slow down if you
want to downshift whatever great but
this idea of what work really is which I
Define work is a positive contribution
to
your ZIP code it's that simple yeah so
what I find interesting is that social
security retirement is one of the most
controversial issues in terms of like
the older generation like younger
generation is more social issues as you
get older it's just Social Security and
retirement when Ben made the claim that
you should not retire he got lit up
honestly unlike anything I've ever seen
Ben get lit up before and he said some
controversial things what I'm curious is
Can you steal man the argument where
maybe retirement is good when I Envision
my future if I'm trying to put myself in
in the shoes of somebody who who doesn't
want to retire that or who who does want
to retire um I like to think okay well I
can play golf I can go and I I can play
pickle ball I can live on a a farm with
my family and just kind of hang out go
see my friends and practice my hobbies
and that sounds amazing from the years
of 65 or 70 to the rest of my life do
you think that that could still be a
fulfilling life is there any Merit to
retirement if you're steelmanning the
argument I think that that can be a nice
life but I don't think it's
meaningful I really would take issue
with anybody on that and I love Ben I
think that what he was missing here and
and I think what we're missing is we
were made to work I just believe that I
just believe it it goes back to the very
core of our spirit whether you're a
person of Faith or spiritual and atheist
it doesn't matter CU I don't think you
can deny this you don't have to teach a
human to lay in in bed at night or be
behind the wheel of a car or in a shower
or walking along and your mind goes to
what am I supposed to do with my life
every human that's ever been on the
planet and that will come on this planet
will one day wonder that question that's
fascinating to me so to me that speaks
to meaning now I derive great meaning
from work and I think that work is not
all that we are but it is something that
we are wired to do if I say work just
means contribute my talent to create a
positive result that could be as Martin
Luther King Jr so famously said to
middle school students if it falls your
lot to be a a street sweeper sweep
streets so that all the hosts of Heaven
look down and say and I'm paraphrasing
there was there is the Michelangelo of
street sweepers you know he was getting
to something there right that there is
good that can be done and should be done
and must be
done and I think if you look at that way
it goes okay I love the way you set the
question up but like do all those things
I love pickle ball by the way I'll just
answer it very personally my goal in my
70s and 80s is to wake up and uh start
off with some exercise in the gym I I'm
very religious about that and uh then I
see myself uh sitting with a bunch of
old cranky dudes or maybe couples with
my wife wife cuz we love spending time
together and other couples and uh
there's a nice breakfast or something
along those lines and we're laughing
talking talking about kids grandkids
whatever socializing and then there's
some type of pickle ball I'm obsessed
with pickle ball uh obsessed I will play
I will play tonight for three hours if
you were in town I would welcome you we
have a great group of guys anytime
you're in Wednesday night I'll bring my
P shes the whole next time you're
welcome it's a great group of guys about
30 of us we play for 3 hours oh my gosh
7 to 10 3 hours oh man I'm exhausted but
I'm so f
because it's competition and Community
if you guys play pickle ball give the
video a like pop a subscribe in fact if
you're in Las Vegas and you're a good
pickle ball player want DM I want to
play pickle ball and next time I'm in
Vegas I'm texting you and if you got
time I'm in okay deal I'm in love with
the game it's phen is so uned in he
hates he hates talk about all the time
any sports any sort of ath we apologize
to all the listeners and viewers who are
sick of the pickle ball evangelist just
try it you'll it just try it um and then
after that um or whatever that day looks
like it's going to have the working out
the community and food eating together
there will be the hobby that physical
kind of sports hobby uh but then I will
have to do something MH and maybe that
looks like me mentoring a bunch of
20-year-old dudes three days a week I
consider that work so when I say that
it's like you can downshift and I'm not
saying you got to work a 40-h hour week
but this idea of retiring if you
actually look up the word it's to
retreat I don't want to retreat in my
old age in a treat So speaking of work
like that are we in a white collar
recession saw your video on that I found
it very interesting according to the
data yes well what's happened is um we
came out of the the great resignation
right which is where we saw for about 2
and a half three years record numbers of
people leaving their jobs it was over 4
million a month it was absurd it's it's
when you saw out of the pandemic really
out of 2020 2021 we just saw this okay
everybody's like okay I don't think the
world's coming to an end not sure where
we're working or how we're working but
companies began to reinvest we saw a lot
they saw the government put a lot of
money into the marketplace and so
company started hiring and it was like
all right I'm going to pay you more to
come over here and that created the
musical chairs and so that took up
salaries and hourly wages and so it was
the great resignation because what it
really was was was the great hiring it
was like companies were competing big
time for talent and so everybody was
cashing in people were leaving for 15 to
20% hikes who was an unbelievable
Economic Development well so that slows
down and so out of that comes this white
collar recession so leading into this
election so if you go back two years
companies begin to go all right we're
not sure where this is going the economy
was beginning to show some ugly signs is
Biden going to get reelected you know
and you start and so what companies do
is they start going all right we're
going to kind of let's going to slow
down we're going to slow down and um
we're not going to invest in more Talent
so what they're doing is they're
mitigating risk and that's what happened
because when you say white collar
recession I should Define it these are
these are professional roles and these
are six figure everything from low to
mid six figure and I saw this in my own
personal life with a couple guys that
left during covid they were laid off
from large biotech companies and were
out of work for two years and here's why
they were making in the $800 $900,000 a
year well for a company they're going to
go that's we're taking on a lot of you
know they look at payroll and that's
what big public companies do they start
to look at payroll and they go okay
we're going to uh uh reduce expenses
kind of the advice we'd give people at
Ramsey when your when your money life is
tight all right let's reduce expenses
let's see if we can get more income so
that's what's been happening that's
going to be interesting to see if that
loosens up because we saw even the
latest job numbers
that hiring is still really slow right
now so that's going to be a key to watch
in the first two quarters of the Trump
Administration will there be
professional uh uh uh let's call it uh
will there be corporate confidence we
always talk about consumer confidence
will there be corporate confidence where
companies start to go all right we're
going to start hiring that's a risk
that's an investment but we're willing
to make it so that's why we are where we
are I think there's been a wait and see
um as a result of this weird economy
that that we've been in the last couple
years yeah I do worry though that with
some of that economy that if companies
get used to being able to get the same
amount of work done with less people as
they're hiring less but all of a sudden
now they get this injection of money if
tax rates go down let's say they have an
extra 10% on the books are they actually
going to hire people with that or they
going to say well now we have an extra
10% on the books Let's boost the stock
price we'll you know pay out our CEOs a
little bit more I tend to believe that's
more likely to happen than oh we have 10
million let's hire more people again
yeah um I think it's an interesting
point I don't disagree with you but I
would offer
this companies love to expand yeah
companies love to grow and um CEOs can't
help themselves um you know because
they're that's what their performance is
measured on so I I get the bonus piece
but keep in mind that you know we got
boards and
stockholders and and so if you aren't
growing you are dying is not just a
motivational
thing that's thrown out too
much it's it's actually a business Maxim
it's hyper competitive up hyper so I see
what you're saying if that were to
happen Graham I think that would be
minimal and situational but I think at
some point companies go we got to grow
and when they got to grow they got a
hire Talent yeah and what about for the
people who get fired how are they able
to turn that around to a really good
thing first thing you got to mourn the
data psychology data says that losing
your job whether you're laid off or
fired so fired is a little bit
more uh egregious laid off of a part of
a big cut or whatever either way uh
losing your job is the equivalent of
losing a loved one emotionally it's
pretty Stark so let's start there so we
need to grief so mourn this if that's
with a therapist fantastic highly
recommend
it if it's just sitting in your feelings
and honestly going man I'm going home
today and I'm I'm just going to mourn
I'm going to put my sweatpants on I'm
going to eat a lot of ice cream watch a
lot of Netflix whatever morning looks
like let's mourn it let's own that this
sucks second this isn't a in a couple
days you know um I would surround myself
with Community I would make sure that
I'm around uh friends and loved ones
that are lifters not friends and loved
ones who are victims back to the start
of our conversation very important after
losing a job that you're spending time
with people that are naturally people
who lift you they're not going to let
you wallow now they're going to feel for
you but they're going to be injecting
you with hey Ken it's okay you're so
talented you're going to have a ton of
opportunities man this isn't going to
hold you you need those people in your
life not the aunt and uncle like well
welcome to the reality and they just
keep you down um third I would um make
sure you go do something for somebody
whose life is way worse than yours
that's what I would do uh go serve go
help find yourself in a situation where
you go man my life sucks right now but
man it could be a whole lot worse and uh
and I'm I'm going to help somebody who
has it way worse than me that begins to
lift you four I would begin to tell the
whole world hey this what happened to me
I need help I need connections I need
some
opportunities uh I'm willing to look and
listen to anything uh um those would be
the four things from a practical thing
to turn a loss like that losing your job
into something that you rebound from
those are the practical things that will
allow you to rebound because on the
other side of those four things you're
going to get another opportunity you
step in and you go okay I realize that I
Rose From the Ashes here I'm going to
now be able to reflect that would be the
fifth thing after you kind of get reset
into another job reflect on it is there
something that I can learn from this
could I have seen this layoff
coming what what can I learn from
getting fired even if I say I did
nothing
wrong could I have seen that this is an
unhealthy boss and this was a not so
good situation and my own fear of of
leaving and going to something else kept
me in a really toxic situation the idea
is we want to walk away from this and
learn from it and and and we you know we
we're going to be better from it so we
look back on it we go I can look back on
that point in my life and I can can rub
my hand over the scar I got a scar right
here where I made a bonehead mistake and
I can rub on that right now and it takes
me back and remember but I can't feel it
because I've healed from it and I think
that's the key but you know what before
we go into that let me ask you a
question how often do you have the time
just to focus in yourself think about it
between work family and everything else
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get back to the episode what was a
pivotal moment in your own life cuz I
noticed this like this optimistic
undertone to everything that you say
whether it's like surround yourself with
the right people if you get laid off you
need them more and this and that what
would you say is a time where you felt
like you had risen From the Ashes or had
some sort of negative thing and like
practice some sort of thing to get
through to it that's contributed through
this philosophy uh it was early on in
this journey to broadcasting I was 32 33
really old to try to get into
broadcasting I had three little kids and
uh I had found a season of life where I
had some gumption and I said I'm going
to try some things so I went down town
Atlanta I was Liv in Atlanta suburbs I
go down and I I walk in one day to this
huge office building and I go up to this
reception this young girl in her 20s and
I said is uh I'll make this name up um
is is um is Don so and so in today and
she looked at me she goes yeah he is do
you have an appointment I go no but we
have some mutual friends and I just if
he's got 2 minutes you can put me on a
clock tell him I just want to say hi to
him for two minutes and it so kind of
befuddled her that I talked my way in
and she goes okay so next thing oh this
guy pops into the lobby and he goes he's
looking at me literally like that and I
go hey Ken Coleman I know this person
this person this hey I want to tell you
something I own my own business uh I
don't want you to pay me anything I'm
not even looking for a job first thing
out of my mouth and he's kind of looking
at me and I
go I'm wondering if there's something
that I can do a few days a week for a
couple hours at a time to just volunteer
because I just want to learn this
business and that's all I want I can
give you my resume references we have
these mutual friends he looked at me he
was like are you serious and I go yeah
he goes yeah man sure he's like um give
me your email I'll email you a time we
can come meet and we'll talk through it
so fast forward I do do that and I end
up going in three days a week Monday
Wednesday Friday the ESPN Radio
affiliate that's what this was I love
sports and I start volunteering I'm
answering screening calls I'm doing
YouTube research for the guys that are
on the air I'm just in the building you
know and it led to me getting on the air
they were sending me to Falcons training
camp to the SEC basketball championship
here in Nashville and I was doing live
call-ins and these guys they just they
just began to like me and they knew that
I was just trying to learn and get into
the game and I didn't need anything from
them and U so like you're pretty good on
the air and so they put me on so one day
I get back in it was my day to be in I
think it was a Wednesday and this guy
this program director is the guy that I
met in the lobby and he calls me in his
office and he had this weird look on his
face and he just looked at me he goes
hey you got to
stop and there's no tension nothing's
happened I go what do you mean he goes
you got to stop you're you're not you're
not going to be on the air anymore I go
oh okay I said hey by the way I am sorry
your host put me on the they just asked
me if if I do it I said he goes no no I
know you've not done anything wrong I've
already talked to them they shouldn't
have done that we have a company policy
no um non-employees are allowed to be on
the air which again made total sense to
me but it was the way in which he talked
to me and he said this he goes I don't
know why you keep coming in he goes
you've been great you're a good guy you
got a lot going for you I don't know why
you're not focused on your business you
don't have the talent to make it in a
number eight Market
and it
just devastated me so I walk out and I'm
spinning emotionally spinning why is he
doing this I what okay I get the policy
but why did he say that is he right am I
delusional am I wasting my time three
days a week coming here what am I doing
I'm 33 I don't have a broadcasting
degree I don't have any experience what
am I doing and I began to just just
really go inward like dude you're
delusional wake up smell the coffee and
go be a good husband and a dad and grow
your business and go another Direction
This is a Fool's errand this is where
I'm at so I go home and uh I really
didn't want my wife to see it I was so
embarrassed I was
ashamed and um so it was time to cut the
grass and I remember going to my garage
get my lawnmower out and uh I went out
and I just zoned out back and forth Just
self-pity and about 10 minutes
in the the thought hit me do you think
that you have the talent do you really
think you have it are you willing to see
if he's right are you willing to see is
he right or is he wrong are you willing
to figure it out and uh for whatever
reason I summoned a little bit of
Courage there and I was like okay and
and uh came up with a few ideas and I
don't want to go into it for sake of too
long of an answer but I came up with a
couple ideas on the rest of that
lawnmowing session that ended up turning
into my first
book and uh pretty successful podcast
that then got me on the air in North
Atlanta that led to some amazing things
and Dave Ramsey eventually calling me so
the reason I am the way I am is moments
like that where I had to choose right do
I believe in me and am I willing to
prove it and it's not that I was super
positive and that I was this because I
wasn't I was miserable I was insecure
all these things but I did choose in
that moment
to prove it so I was either going to
prove that he was right that I didn't
have the talent or I was going to prove
that I was right and I was willing to
deal with that and get to that answer so
that when I'm an old man I don't live
with regret did you ever see that guy
again never have have you been curious
to reach out to him yeah okay I'm gonna
be very vulnerable yeah um there have
been multiple
times um that I've wanted to call him
and in my mind I've got it that I would
be classy but I would say hey just want
to let you know that what you said hurt
me you were wrong and I'm calling to
tell you that you're wrong not out of
spite but that you don't ever crap on
somebody else like that again cuz words
matter and uh that's what I want to do
and I have resisted it and the first
time is when uh I found out that I was
going to be the first person to ever sit
in Dave Ramsey's chair after 20 some
years and I was with Rachel Cruz and
another one of our Ramsey personalities
at the time and it was like a big deal
and I had radio experience they were the
money people and so my job was just to
get them in out of the break because
they had no experience doing it and I
could do it but I was still it was a big
deal and um yeah there's been multiple
times three time best-selling author you
know but what's holding you back um I
don't think that's right I don't think
it's necessary I I have gotten to a
place through therapy and some maturity
that nothing good comes from that phone
call and no matter how classy I I play
it out of my mind I think it's an act of
Pride why don't send an email that you
Pro I I tend to think that sending that
you could look at it two what do you
think it accomplishes and I mean this
from a utilitarian perspective love yeah
I I think it does make sense for him to
get the perspective that hey I can
actually be incorrect and I shouldn't
just shoot someone down with you know a
not super convicted argument to make
them feel bad but also I think that it
depends on how you frame it so for
example if you call them and you're like
I was right and if I was right what does
that mean you were it means you were
wrong like you know there's a way that
you can there he loves that he loves
that but it basically is just
establishing a winner and a loser it
doesn't need to be that way you could
say hey look after our our phone call
you motivated me to actually go and try
my own thing and I did and it worked so
I wanted to thank you because think
about it you are where you are today
because of that so even though
to take that even though it hurt and it
sucked and it created some wounds that
turned into scars eventually it ended up
working in your favor by a lot who knows
what would have happened if you stuck
with that network no one has Anya think
that that would help me with other
wounds cuz I I'm going to be really
vulnerable here cuz this is actually
refreshing that you're challenging me on
this maybe the audience learned
something I'm real timing this folks
these guys are challenging
me I I deal with the voice we all have
these voices that we deal with and that
these come from you know Primal wounds
and things of that nature mine is I'm
not good enough just being honest yeah
so that comes and I don't want to you
know get into this son of psychotherapy
session but it comes from real things
that have happened to me in my life and
I and I am actively right now in therapy
um I do it seasonally from time to time
and I just think this is a very
interesting timing so I'm asking you
guys knowing what I just told you m
do you think that would actually be
healing for me to send it I like your
approach Jack do you think that that
would be a sense of healing if I were to
word it that way to go I'm acknowledging
that you hurt me
deeply and yet I also want to thank you
and release that because i' I don't
think I've ever released it I think it's
a chip still on my shoulder I think the
solution or the answer to the feeling of
not being good enough or some sort of
impostor syndrome is humil
is understanding that like you are you
know you deserve nothing you know it's
just you have to accept the fact
that you put yourself wherever you are
and I think that the humility will
essentially solve that you can thank
him and it's also kind of in a sense
taking responsibility because you ended
up making the decision to put you where
you are today yeah I don't know that's I
think you gave you a great lesson great
experience that you're able to share
with so many people and you owe that
him and him saying those really hurtful
words so I think in a way it's a
blessing in disguise where back then
like you so much be I would send the
email um or if you take it a step
further send the email and say I'd also
like to take you for a coffee or
something like that to take him out and
show your appreciation in hindsight and
I bet through that experience he'll
change a lot too interesting wow this
been a long time since that happened so
he could be a completely different
person you know true yeah yeah yeah but
I but you understand my concern is I
don't want to be prideful and and you
answered that's the humility I'm I want
to act in a humble way here but but
imagine this imagine he shares his
perspective years later and it's not
what you what you that's interesting
where he said I'm sorry I said those
things the reason why was because I got
pressure had a bad morning you know like
isn't that true it could be it could be
something so stupid of like yeah oh you
know got in a fight with a spouse this
morning I was in a really bad mood I you
know as soon as you walked out I
regretted it but I I was too prideful to
say anything and uh you know something
you have no idea what's going on through
his mind at that day yeah that's well
said or where pressure was coming from
from like someone else got jealous that
you did a better job than them and he
had to save this person who was g giving
him an earful and you weren't the
employee and there could have been so
many dynamics that you just had no idea
about that I bet now he would share and
if you do reach out to him I'd love to
to hear about a followup I'm going to do
it I'm going to commit to it good and
I'm going to if you if because I trust
you guys on this I'm going to send you
if you'll allow me I want to send you
the draft deal yeah because we've talked
about it yeah and you're both of you are
completely objective that you're perfect
like I wouldn't want my wife to read it
she's got too much invested in me uh so
I will do that I'm going to send you a
draft within a week of this conversation
I'm trying to give myself a little time
but I need to act on it quickly actually
within 72
hours team's back there somebody hold me
accountable I'm going to send an email
to both of you if you allow me
absolutely and I want your honest
feedback and uh I'm going to send it I'm
honored boy wow this is crazy I was
supposed to do this selfishly I think
for that that's so cool but I hope our
audience gets something from this
because I think I love that you
challenged me on that and I I'm learning
real
time um now it's interesting now I'm and
I'm an evangelist for therapy because
I'm literally doing weekly therapy right
now and Di on this stuff at 50 years of
age not cuz I'm in crisis I'm not in an
area of Crisis right now in my life but
um I'm I'm seeking to be better you know
what I mean because there's a lot of
responsibility and and going through
different seasons of my life right and
dealing with grief of my my oldest son
being in college right and some of that
stuff and just being okay with that like
it's hard to see my boy go I'm proud of
him he's crushing it you know yeah so
all that to
say this is the example of spending time
with now this is a professional podcast
however I'm grateful and blessed to be
in the orb that I'm in that I get to be
on your show have this conversation and
this is the whole point you know I
actually did something similar with the
guy who hired me when I was 18 uh when I
was doing data entry and he gave me an
earful when I wanted to quit I came in
like a week later and told him that I
wasn't happy doing this it didn't feel
right for me and I wanted to quit and he
gave me an earful and he told me the
story that there were like he mentored
another guy and this guy was like in his
late 40s early 50s at the time and he
like mentored another guy and this guy
said the same thing that he wanted to
quit that it wasn't right and the guy's
like you have to stick with it because
if you're not a able to overcome this
hurdle you're going to go sideways get
to another hurdle not be able to
overcome that get to the other hurdle
and you're going to be moving sideways
throughout your life and it's really
important when you get to a hurdle to
overcome it and so he talked me into
staying into this job and he said by the
way at the end of that conversation he's
like by the way the other guy ended up
quitting guess what he ended up getting
a divorce he ended up coming back to me
years later trying to get his job back
we couldn't hire him back I don't know
where he is now but I'm like I don't
want to be broke and get a divorce later
so I stayed there uh and every time I'd
go into quit which was like every 3
weeks just to talk to him would give me
that same sort of Spiel and I think it
was after about two months I finally
like had enough I wrote up a letter I
gave it to him he tried to talk to me I
I couldn't do it cuz I knew he could
talk me back into it but sent him uh I
found him on LinkedIn this is maybe like
two years ago I found him on LinkedIn I
didn't tell him how much that impacted
me about his whole speech and whatnot
but I did thank him for the opportunity
and just giving me that chance like
changed my life of of really figuring
out what I didn't want in a job which is
like a desk job data entry fluorescent
lights back Office Accounting like I
hated it but if it were not for that
experience I wouldn't be here today
agree so I just thanked him for that and
he got back to me and it was like I see
you on YouTube I'm glad you're doing so
well that makes me really happy to hear
so maybe I tell him how much it affected
me but uh just sending him that thank
you was really important no I think it's
cool to find him years later I while you
were talking I want the audience to hear
I I just got a little takeaway grit is
earned not
summoned and and thankfully we have
people in our life that Force us into
places where we have to choose and so
it's back to your question oh are you
positive I'm not the most positive guy
on the planet but I do think I'm really
gritty and it's because I've had
multiple opportunities to
either as your boss told you there that
guy told you there to either jump
through it go through the hurdle go over
the hurdle go over the mountain whatever
that's important stuff because on the
other side of that you start stacking
grit do you know what I mean you can't
just summon grit the only way to get
grit is to earn it in other words choose
to walk forward you walked forward the
other guy went sideways and walked away
I think that's a profound story of of
one decision yeah and I love that I like
the idea of being forced into a position
where you're where you're where you have
to choose that's actually exactly the
same both you guys as when I was working
in the restaurant I was a buser I really
wanted to be a waiter the waiters earned
a lot more than the busers I took the
waiting exam several times failed every
single time but at the same time I
thought the management had something
against me cuz they were passing other
people that I was clearly more qualified
if then to be waiters and then finally
after you know I guess being in despair
because I was this like lowly Buster not
making a good living I I was like I feel
like I should do so much more than this
I tried out e-commerce I failed I tried
out trading I failed I tried out a
different business I failed and then
eventually I emailed Graham and it
worked and it was because I was forced
to make a decision because I was so
dissatisfied with where I was in life
whereas if maybe they had just promoted
me to being a server I would have gotten
a little bit more complacent I mean I
was a full-time student at the same time
as working a good amount of hours in the
restaurant so maybe I would have been
okay you know I'll just go to the
college I I'll do the normal route but
it forced me to make a decision and to
finally continue trying things until one
of the things worked out love I love
that hard times Force us to choose you
going to do hard things or you going to
do the easy thing see the easy thing is
to retreat that's easy walk away I'm g
go over here and by the way we can
really talk ourselves into how smart
that is you can really spin that up well
I did it for this and this and and at
some point um I think you just have to
choose to do hard things and that's
where grit comes from by the way that's
where opportunity lies and I think that
that's one of the things I'm fearful for
for my kids generation is we've screwed
up I'm talking about my my generation
and parenting um because I grew up in
the 80s and I do see a shift I'm not
trying to sound like a boomer and take
us another Direction but I would say
really quickly
that we have removed heart
hardship and the opportunity to step
into
fear and that's a dangerous thing for a
society hard
things lead to great things why do you
think it's going in that direction
because there does seem to be this
element that Millennials and gen Z are
very anti-work anti- difficulty why is
that have you noticed anything with this
yes I think that two
things
fear
and find
es quick breakdown one
it's when I was growing up if my parents
were sitting here they're in their 70s
they would tell you both that the type
of commercials that were on
TV they weren't fear-driven it wasn't
like hey you know you could sit and
watch a football game this weekend and
you're going to hear a a scad of
commercials come at you and they start
something like this are you experiencing
tightness in your chest and you might
not be but if they ask you you start
going well you that's we marketers have
figured out like I I I literally put
this on the on the on the uh back of
marketers they figured it out they
figured it out scare the crap out of us
we buy stuff uh you know what I mean
there weren't bike helmets when we were
kids it doesn't mean that parents of my
generation my parents were meaner
parents she didn't think about a bike
helmet for heaven sakes my mom told me
the other day when I was a baby she held
me in her arms in the front seat
now I'm not saying that car seats aren't
necessary I'm getting to a bigger Point
fear through marketing and and then
24-hour news think about how the world
has changed with news right social media
it's all designed to freak us
out and that's what gets our attention
and so that has just progressed from the
news media to marketers that's the fear
of Peace So parents go I'm afraid and
natural for your parent you want to uh
remove opportunities for your kids to be
hurt in some ways that's the fear the
finances piece is you know look man if
you just look at the the wealth growth
in in America alone and you look at
parents and they're always trying to
help their kids do better than they did
and then their parents did and so you
start to go okay and so what they're
trying to do is want to get him the best
grade to best college and so they start
emailing the teacher in the fourth grade
you s at C minus home with my kid what
did you do wrong that's coming from a
place of fear you talk to a teacher in
America today they'll tell you the the
hovering parents are the number one
reason why they're leaving the
profession where does that come from got
to help them got to help them gotta get
they got to keep up with everybody else
got to get a good gota to make more
money and all these things and so what's
happened is we've removed the very
element that makes our kids successful
and that is failure hardship so the way
I say it and a sound bite is American
parents have
stopped paying attention to doing things
that make our kids good because we're so
focused on what makes our kids feel good
so it's like stop worrying about how how
good they feel start paying attention to
how good they're doing and the only way
your kid's going to do better is is
failing I remember sitting with Malcolm
Gladwell once years ago I said what's
the one thing you tell parents he said
get your kid in a in a in an
extracurricular activity where they will
only be measured by success or failure
it's like play an instrument in the band
play a sport try out for the drama team
where you may not get the lead role and
what he was getting at is the quicker we
can get people to taste failure and
digest failure then the tougher the more
resilient they become and so what I
think we've done is we've just removed
all of the Challenge from life because
of Technology we kind of can you know
yeah so what do you do with the people
who just are lazy and they don't want to
help themselves yeah and they're there I
love this question
yeah if you are a person right now that
has a person in your life that you just
thought of when Graham threw that
out I want to challenge
you they are not lazy they're
lost lazy is a symptom the source of the
laziness is they're lost let me put it
another way the person that presents is
lazy the young man maybe your husband
ladies I've gotten this call
before they're not lazy they're lost in
other words if you look at the science
behind um of why we
procrastinate a large portion of
procrastination is
depression and I can't think of a more
debilitating emotional state than
feeling lost I remember as a kid going
to an apartment store with my mom and
dad once one of my earliest memories and
you know those circular things where
clothes are all around the rack and
picture being a little guy you know and
I remember oh this is fun and I jumped
in the little clothes rack like oh I'm
hiding from my dad you know and uh
thought this is kind of fun and then I
was like oh he's not looking for me I
better pop out I popped out my dad's
nowhere to be seen now when you're five
or six and you can't even see over the
clothes rack and you're just staring at
you can imagine the fear and panic that
came over me and I began to cry and y
for my dad's name okay um I'm trying to
take us to that emotion because that's a
very real emotion for let's take a young
man um or or a married man it's got a
family and all of a sudden he
realizes I I don't know where I'm
supposed to go I don't love my job or
I've just been laid off and I feel like
that little kid who's just staring at
all these clothes racks and while I'm
looking for my parent that person is
looking
for clear Direction in their life okay
when you are confronted with that you
just immediately feel helpless it's the
equivalent of being in a car and you're
driving along and a thunderstorm comes
up and the rain comes down so hard you
can't see past the hood of the car what
do you do you immediately stop pull over
the side of the road it's like I I can't
see past the hood of the car this is
scary this is dangerous stop and it is a
very real emotion okay so if you take
that and you realize that day in and day
out you have no clarity for the
direction of your life or a Clarity of
how to solve a problem in your life you
will naturally press the emergency break
and then when you're confronted with no
way
out you you panic and then after
prolonged Panic guess what
happens helplessness I I'm stuck I'm I'm
I no longer I'm panicked because my body
is adjusted to the original fear now I'm
just in prison and I think that's what's
going on emotionally is they appear lazy
well of course they look lazy they have
no gumption they have no direction and
so what do they do they just stay put
and I think it's a depressive state so
the answer then is Clarity you got to
get to that person and you've got to get
to them where they cannot take
themselves and that is they almost need
to see a mirror and they need to see and
it's my methodology I'd start with hey
you're really talented your whole life
everybody said this about you and we've
seen it and you have something to offer
you're really really
talented and and and boy you light up
when you do this it's passion and this
and and and and and what what what
problems do you want to solve like what
would you you know and you just become
that that almost coach that goes hey you
got this get back in the game I believe
you can make the play and that's all you
can do as a friend or loved one now in a
coach situation I mean we're going to do
some serious heart surgery and I'm going
to dive in and we're going to go okay
um once you SE Clarity then confidence
takes care of itself Clarity leads to
confidence confidence leads to
courage every time when you see a person
step into a fiery car we've all seen a
media report on someone who saved a
stranger and that the person says to him
Graham what what were you thinking and
and Graham goes well I really wasn't
thinking I just acted exactly what
happened you come up on a scene of a
fiery car crash you're the first
one instant radical Clarity someone's
going to
die if we don't get them
out immediately confidence follows I
think I can pull them out and before you
know it you're in the car pulling them
out Bam Bam Bam Clarity leads to
confidence confidence leads to courage
you cannot summon courage in your life
to do hard things absence of clarity so
we always want to retreat to Clarity the
most confused person is a depressed
person is a lazy person so we want to
get unlost and the way we get unlost is
Clarity the minute that lady heard me in
that department store hey buddy what's
wrong where's my dad okay I got you she
takes me by the
hand she takes me to her little register
area she pulls out her phone which is an
intercom with the parents of little
Kenny Coleman please come over to the
men section he's okay he's
here Clarity confidence mom and dad are
on the way right and I I just that
that's what I think has to happen it is
an
emotional situation that is absolutely
creating
paralyzed State and so to get
unparalyzed we got to get clear although
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now let's get back to the podcast how
would you recommend people try to find
more meaning and purpose in their job if
it's a W2 job if you're self-employed if
you're running a business I'll admit
sometimes I feel like my job doesn't
have as much purpose as I would like it
to and that may sound weird to some
people I don't know because I like to
think that I have some form of influence
or I provide video that has some sort of
positive influence on people when I do
find meaning it's when when people like
for example last night actually we were
at this watch party and someone came up
to to gram and I and they're like hey I
saw the podcast you did with Jordan
Peterson that actually I watched it with
my girlfriend and it solved a lot of our
relational issues and I was like okay
wow and and when I hear stuff like that
it makes me feel more purpose more
meaning and it drives me to continue
working harder but maybe for other jobs
where it's a little bit more difficult
to find that how would you recommend
they go about that love the question
first gratitude so start with what am I
grateful for that this job provides me
all right so we can start with income
provision takes care of me so this is
what it does for me now it's a W2 job
not where I want to be but I start with
gratitude for what it's doing for me now
then we begin to say what is this job
doing for me later in other words it's
giving me that stability that I just
said I'm grateful for and so it's
positioning me so we begin to to really
reimagine how we see this current job
that's not the rung of the ladder we
want to be on but it allows me the
opportunity to cl to climb the next
several rungs and so we start there
that's going to really shift things to
go okay great uh I probably would have
been very grateful six months ago for
this gig or six years ago okay I'm I'm
grateful because this is giving me a
platform for a stability and then
opportunity going forward that changes
our mindset but then we get right back
to what you were talking about I think
you have to sit there and you go how is
my work helping a human today I think
it's that simple that question now it
doesn't mean that it's going to be as
rewarding as that person saying that to
you last night that's one of the awesome
benefits we get from the work we do is
people say things that are incorrect
like you changed my life no we didn't
you changed your life I had a little
coaching moment thank you and that's
really rewarding okay but for those of
you that are in W2 jobs where you're not
getting that feedback from a real person
who is so overwhelmed and that was such
a beautiful testimony to what you do but
what you've got to do is go okay if I
were going to talk to people today who
benefit from my
work what would they say on a base level
that I did for them today so if I'm a
programmer and I'm programming a I'm
programming code for an app that does
this for people remind yourself of that
on a daily basis maybe type it up maybe
put it on your desk you know you know
have it on your phone you can look at
every once in a while reflect on there
are humans on the other end of this work
that I will not get to hear from but I
know that what this is doing is making
their life better in this way this way
in this way and that's really important
to remind yourself of your why when you
aren't getting that personto person
Accolade from that end user that's what
I would do and I think that's really
really important and it's a very
important question because a lot of
people sit there and
go I did this today I did this today I
did this today and it's really great on
my weekly report and I felt very
efficient but does my work matter that's
a very very scary place to be in because
if you keep asking the question does my
work matter it's only a matter of time
before you start to go do I
matter what do you think is one of the
biggest problems facing young people
today
self-awareness there's this
unbelievable faux self-awareness that
comes from social media in the form of
likes and
followers and how people reacted to this
post and this post and this
post when
what is a superpower for any individual
but certainly for young people because
they're in this season of life where
their brain is still developing their
frontal lobe is still
developing you know it's late 20s for
men I'm not sure it ever develops at 50
I'll be honest but uh women a little few
years earlier so think about that your
frontal lobe go do your research go
Google that and understand how
significant this statement is frontal L
is still developing in your in your
20s you got all this
pressure from the time you entered High
School get good grades so you can get
good SAT scores get a good college
acceptance get a good degree get a good
job it's a lot of
pressure and they're navigating that and
I don't think as a society we do a good
job in our education institutions and in
our homes of true focusing on the thing
that matters most to a developing young
person and that is
self-awareness what am I good at doing
it comes back to that what am I good at
these become the
tools that allow you to be successful so
we start there forget passion and
Mission there's too much focus on
passion in our world that's that's an
empty part of the equation because I
love basketball but I could never be a
professional basketball player right so
what am I good at okay there's a lot of
confidence and and Good Vibes for our
self-worth when we can reflect on and
then actually do things on a regular
basis where it comes easy for us and
people go nice work good job you're a
natural and so that's that
self-awareness play and then what makes
what makes what angers my
heart what breaks my
heart what encourages my heart these are
key questions that begin to reveal how
you might use that
talent and and then as you begin to age
and you try things and you experience
things you begin to go I remember that
result not mattering much to me but man
I lit up when I delivered this result
and so that self-awareness of and then
two other quick things your story and
your environment it's really important
for young people to look back on the
house that they grew up in that shaped
the way you see the world they're like
glasses shape the way you see the world
politically spiritually relationally
financially okay physically so you're
stewing in this pot that you have no
control over your environment growing up
let's say birth 18 massive massive
impact on you good and bad then look at
your story the wins and the losses to
keep it simple up to this point in your
life anybody who's listening watching
and you just kind of feel you know all
right I I I I want a young person and
you're going I I feel like I'm just uh
it's you're not self-aware and it's back
to what I just said about Clarity when
we can be very self-aware then we are
clear on on where we've won in life
where we've lost how that shaped us how
that is driving us forward
self-awareness is a superpower it's
where everything good comes from and
it's where everything bad comes from a
lack of self-awareness a confused life
where you're trying to medicate you're
seeking pleasure cuz there is no no
purpose and then the flip side when you
are very very self-aware and you know
who you are and who you want to be and
why you want to be that man that's
that's a Wellspring it's either
quicksand or a Wellspring and so I think
it's self-awareness and by the way it's
not just this generation of young people
I could have said that that's like if I
could wave a wand Graham and give
something to every young person it would
be self-awareness I've always thought
that uh things are maybe a little too
easy for people
anded a lot of people intoy where it's
not bad want to change but it's not
great either so you're not exactly
unhappy but you're not really happy and
it's that weird Middle Ground where a
lot of people get stuck yep the I heard
someone say it's like the poorest person
today in America is still you know
wealthier than the the wealthiest man
like a couple hundred or so years ago
it's like the fact that you even just
have an iPhone it's more powerful than
you know anything any billionaire had
access to you know 1950 it's a great
point because you know complacency is a
result of a lack of self-awareness cuz
you just kind of go well I can just kind
of downshift and put it in neutral and
choose an average life and to your point
an average life in America is a fabulous
life MH and that's where complacency
sets in really quickly for the viewers
that are trying to expand their
knowledge what books would you recommend
for them classic book called dig your
well before you thirsty written by
Harvey McKay I read it when I was 18
it's still true today it's all about
understanding that when you need
something most in life it's too late to
dig the well invest in relationships and
connecting in every area of your life
and that's where opportunity will always
be for you when you need it we're going
to do this this is something we've been
doing recently I love it it's
hypotheticals so we're going to present
you with a scenario you tell us how
you'd respond this is called the
promised position okay you were up for a
promotion that you've worked years for
but you learned only way to secure it is
to publicly support a policy you
privately believe is harmful do you
voice support to advance your career
believing you can make positive changes
from within or stay true to your
principles and risk losing the
opportunity stay true to your principles
and risk losing the opportunity snap
call Easy very easy for me because on
the other side of that the high of
getting the promotion the influence and
the money will wear off and you will not
like yourself and that means you will
not like to place you're in and it will
end up eating you alive and you'll leave
anyway so I choose the hard upfront and
then leave next one competitor secret
you accidentally come across
confidential information about a
competitor's upcoming product that could
allow your company to beat them to the
market with a similar offering using
this information could give you a
Competitive Edge but it wasn't obtained
through legitimate means do you use the
information to benefit your business or
ignore it to maintain fair play I don't
think you could completely ignore it
it's kind of like getting that secret
email that no one thought you were going
to see you can't expunge that um so I
don't think you can ignore it but I
don't I don't use that I just want to
win the right way interesting so both of
those questions were kind of
abstractions of do the ends justify the
means yeah and for both of those answers
you said no they do not they do not last
question the risky investment your
company has an opportunity to invest in
an Innovative new technology with
potentially huge rewards but the
technology is untested and could end in
financial loss if it succeeds the
company could Thrive and gain an edge
over competitors if it fails employees
might face layoffs do you take the risk
or stick with the safer more proven
Investments I'm going to take a
mitigated risk on that one I'm going to
look at the numbers and make sure that
this risk doesn't destroy the company
but if it requires that we've got to
make some belt tightening decisions I
think it's worth a shot there but it is
a mitigated risk not a disastrous risk
but I take it if you were to say one
position one controversial opinion or
anything that could hopefully if there's
a viewer out here Inspire them to to
wake up and do something make something
out of their life to change their course
entirely what would it be no one is
sitting around today thinking about how
they can help
you if you want to help yourself and
change your future you have to take
massive responsibility there will be
people who will help you along the way
but this idea of sitting around and just
waiting for someone to tap you on the
shoulder or that happen s is going to
help you no one is here to help you
they're all worried about their own
stuff so start acting like that you go
after the future that you want you make
the difference no one is going to help
you until you become helpable by showing
up and actually doing something for
yourself thank you very much Ken for
coming on the show I wish we could talk
for an extra hour this is fantastic and
also shout out Ramsey solution the crew
amazing every single time we come here I
mean they're Pros the coffees the front
incredible her name is Melissa oh yes at
the front Melissa she's amazing she's
our she is the first face and voice that
people get to see when they come in and
she's amazing she has the gift of
Melissa love Melissa thank you guys so
much for watching we'll link all of Ken
stuff down below in the description
thank you again Ramsey until next time
until next time