THIS Is How You Deal with Difficult People | Tom Bilyeu Q&A

How do you make it stick? Your biggest enemy is you. Hey everybody, today's episode is brought to you by Impact Theory University's own business decision-making workshop. If you're a business owner looking to scale your company, I can help. I've created a four-week intensive workshop that's going to give you the decision-making strategies that you need to scale your company. It's the exact things that I used to take Quest to a billion-dollar exit, and it's exactly what I'm using today on Impact Theory that's allowed us to grow by 400% in just the last 2 years. If this sounds like something that would be beneficial to you and your business, I want you to go right now to decision.impacttheory.com to apply. Once again, that's decision.impacttheory.com. You can apply today. All right, I'll see you on the inside. Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Impact Theory. Today, we are going to be talking all about difficult people, all of the things in your life that people can do that might trip you up. This is something that as you begin to master your own emotions, as you begin to implement certain belief systems that are going to allow you to progress in life, that focus you on you taking responsibility, suddenly you're going to find that other people become a lot easier to deal with. But nonetheless, other people can be a source of friction, and learning how to navigate that well is really the difference between being frustrated and hopeless and not sure how to make things come true in your life and actually doing really great things. And this comes back to an African proverb, which I think is really powerful, which is, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go in a group." If you want to do something really amazing with your life, you are absolutely going to have to figure out how to work well with other people. And we all know that not everybody is as easy to deal with as each other. So, figuring out how to navigate the particularly tricky situations is critical. So, that is what we're going to spend our time on today. Let's start off with this. How do you deal with toxicity in the family? What if my parents are actually the difficult people to deal with because of the mindset that they're in? Okay. Cut right to the chase on this one, man, because let me tell you, a lot of people struggle with their family. Now, here is the hard reality to be faced. For a lot of toxic people, the right answer is to just distance yourself, to not be around them, to um close that door, create the boundaries, and make sure that you don't have to deal with them. And the reality is that option is on the table even for family. But, if you guys are anything like me, the idea of um cutting them out of your life, even if they're difficult, um I'm grateful that I don't have toxic people in my immediate family. That is for sure. But, nonetheless, there are certain people that I wouldn't cut out of my life, no matter what their mindset is. And so, because that's the harder group to deal with, I want to address that first. So, let's say that there's somebody in your life. It could be your parents, could be a sibling, could be a loved one. And for whatever reason, you're unwilling to carve out that boundary and just say, "I'm not going to have them in my life." Um then, it becomes part of the toxicity is that you're taking on what they're saying. And this is where I want you guys to understand. You don't even have to make a big scene about it. When people try to put something on me, tell me that I can't be something, I can't do something, the way that I live my life is a mistake, and I'm hurting myself, and I'm hurting other people, I don't have to take that on, just because they believe it. And then, more importantly, I don't have to convince them otherwise. So, it is okay for people to have a negative opinion about you. And one thing that I want you guys to understand is when somebody is coming at something with that kind of negativity, when where they live is a negative place, when their world view is this dark and gloomy place such that they feel the need to moralize to other people, to tell them what they're doing is wrong. That is such a gnarly place to live. It is a corrosive mentality. And so people that imbue that, not only do you not need to take it on, not only do you not need to convince them, but the thing that's probably going to serve you the best in that moment is compassion, to understand that living in that mentality of self-righteousness, of seeing the faults in other people without having the self-awareness to see your own mistakes, your own foibles, the the problems with your own mentality, to be so outwardly focused that you feel that you need to go around telling other people how to live or to judge them. That is a punishment unto itself. And part of the reason that it's a punishment unto itself is anytime that you are looking to the outside world for the problems, you fail to recognize in yourself your own deficiencies, which stop you from progressing. Now, if I'm right that progress is a foundational pillar to human happiness, which everything I know about life and humans reinforces that that is a true statement, then anything that stops you from seeing yourself clearly is something that holds you back. It stops you from having that progress. It stops you from building a life of joy. And at the end of the day, living a joyful life is really the sum total of this. So when people are coming after you like that and they're not coming to you from a place of compassion or empathy, that darkness, that bitterness, that anger, that vitriol is its own punishment. It is corrosive. It does hold people back. It will stop them from ever having the joyful life that they want. The most joyful people in the world, the only fingers they ever point are thumbs. And they point them back at themselves. And when you look for what you can control, when you look for the things that you can do differently in your life to get a different result, now all of a sudden you realize that you're not out of control. You're not powerless. There's no reason to feel hopeless because you can get better. You can improve. You can recognize where you are deficient. You can recognize what your goals demand of you, and then you can just go about building that skill set, improving yourself, and getting the outcomes that you want in life. And that progress that progress in and of itself is the reward. It is the thing that leads to joy. Having skill set that matters to you and other people is the thing that leads to fulfillment. And the very thing that makes people attack you is an outward-focused gaze. And those that focus outward fail to see the opportunities in themselves. So, what I do when I'm around somebody that is struggling, even when it manifests as an attack on me, is I remember I don't have to convince them, which is a huge thing for me to realize. It's okay for them to feel that way. I don't have to change their mind, which will be a fruitless endeavor, which will only be frustrating for me. And I can do what they call loving-kindness, which sounds really cheesy, but when you look at meditators who practice loving-kindness, it has a profound psychological, but also physiological impact on the brain. So, just be compassionate. Have empathy. Fill your heart with love for that person and whatever they're going through. And honestly, when you do that, you'll be surprised. Maybe not in the immediate term, but you'll be surprised on a long enough time scale how that changes the energy between the two of you. It's what I call just sit. Just sit with the person. Just be with them. Don't try to change them. Don't worry about what they think about you. Just sit. Just be. And that's it. Then, all the toxicity that they have cannot permeate your mind. And no matter how toxic the outside world is, if it doesn't permeate your mind, it doesn't really matter. At least not for you. And that's my advice when you can't get away from somebody who's toxic. Next. How do you deal with people that show irritation when you speak, but don't address what their problem is? I love this one. Okay, so here's what I do. I call that [ __ ] out in real time. Now, I don't call it out like, "Yo, [ __ ] what are you doing?" I call it out like, "Hey, let me know if I'm misreading, but you really seem frustrated." It is so scandalous. Nobody ever does that. Nobody ever acknowledges the elephant in the room. People feel like they can say something however they want to say it, and you're only going to be able to comment on the actual words that they say, which is [ __ ] That's some weird convention that just isn't true. And if you take the time to say, "Hey, totally, I could be misreading this, but you seem frustrated." No, no, no, I'm not frustrated at all. You're coming across aggressive. And if you can help me understand why, cuz if there's something that I'm doing or saying that's upsetting you, I want to understand it. And if you're saying that not as a gotcha, but really actually trying to understand it. Like you're you're trying to disarm the situation. You are more than prepared to point those two thumbs at you. You're more than prepared for you to actually have done something that you didn't see that might have upset that person that might They might really have a legitimate grief. And if you come at it from that standpoint and you're not trying to trick them, trap them, you're just actually trying to understand that desire to understand and when they realize there's nowhere to hide because you're going to point out the way that something is being delivered. And by the way, I will throw people a lifeline. So, when I say, "Hey, you know, I'm really just trying to understand. You seem upset, frustrated, agitated. Help me see cuz if I did something, I would want to address that." And then if they keep demonstrating that they're angry but keep saying that they're not, then I would just say, "Help me understand the the level of aggression that's coming across now. Do you think I'm just misinterpreting it? Whatever." And so then we go down that path. Now, in a fantasy land, there's somebody nearby that you can actually pull in. And so in impact theory, we always tell people, "Don't go have one of these arguments alone. Grab another peer or in the case of a company, somebody that you report to to essentially moderate the discussion." So, you could say, "Hey, if you think I'm misinterpreting the signal and that there is no frustration or agitation here, I'm perfectly willing to um be told that I'm just misreading the situation." And so, then if it's like um they're having a hard time recognizing that they're being frustrated. If we were alone and there's nobody there to moderate, then I might say something by way of a lifeline like, "You know, is it possible that when I said this, that that hit you the wrong way?" And so, you sort of pre-masticate the idea for them. Maybe you have an insight that they're unable to have. And recognizing that a lot of times people are angry, but they don't have the self-awareness to understand what's happening. So, they're getting frustrated, they're angry about something, but they're not even sure why or what they're angry with. Now, as somebody who's had that happen to me, where I'm like, "Why the hell am I getting sharp all of a sudden?" I have nothing but empathy and compassion for whoever's going through that. So, again, I'm not trying to trap them. I don't want them to look bad. I'm going to help them navigate their way out of this, and I'm not trying to win, I'm not trying to prove anything, I'm trying to understand. And if you go into it trying to understand, now the other person feels that. You can pull you can hand that olive branch, or you can say, "Hey, why don't we take a minute, go our separate ways, let's come back, rediscuss this, and I'll try to see if I can understand what I might have said that upset you, or to understand why I'm misreading you, or whatever." And if that's sincere, and you're not just trying to trick them, then I think you will be shocked at how far that goes. I use that in my marriage all the time. We each do with each other. If the other person is like getting agitated, instead of pretending that they're not, in the most gentle, loving, reconciliatory way, we're trying to figure out what happened. And over time, especially when people see you do this, and you're not trying to be like, "Ha ha ha, I told you, I knew it, you're pissed, you're being petty, whatever." Then over time, people are able to slow down, they realize you have good intentions, which gives them the ability to self-reflect, cuz it's very hard when things are elevated like that, right? So, when you're in fight-or-flight mode, which is probably why they're getting agitated, blood is actually leaving the prefrontal cortex, which is the seat of higher-level cognition, which means they're going to have a harder and harder time the more agitated they get if you're coming at them, they're going to have a harder time recognizing what's actually going on. So, helping to diffuse the situation through a desire to understand and through compassion goes a really long way. But then don't just let people act like they're not displaying aggression or frustration or whatever cuz that's what I call crazy-making. There it is. All right. How do you deal with people who refuse to accept they are wrong? They get aggressive if you try to convince them their opinion is wrong and confuse their opinion with facts. Okay, so this is a really tricky situation. And if you are dealing with somebody who is just hell-bent to be combative, then just recognize you're never going to win. And so trying to convince them makes no sense. It is a fruitless moment and you are probably, if you're human, are prone as they entrench themselves more and more into their position, you more and more want to show them that they're wrong. Now, if a person is feeling defensive, they're feeling attacked, the odds of them having the sort of emotional wherewithal to go, "You know what? Actually, you're right." Because most people build their self-esteem around being right. So, as they back themselves into this position refusing to admit that they're wrong. And in this instance, I'm assuming they actually are wrong, which by the way, it's entirely possible that you're both sort of just arguing at each other instead of actually trying to understand each other, which might really be the root of the problem is that we have a two-way street problem here. But let's just assume for a second that they actually are just wrong empirically. The The facts don't line up. I know about humans that the more they're being defensive, the more they feel attacked, the more they feel attacked, I know that their self-esteem is on the line here. This feels like an attack on them as a person, not an attack on their ideas. So, even though for you, this is about just we're just discussing facts here, for them, their whole world view may be under attack and they're not going to be able to acknowledge that. So, if this is an issue where you have to achieve common ground and you can't just say, you know, I've essentially I've tried and walk away and save yourself that aggravation. If there's some reason, like this is a business discussion or we're talking about raising how how we're going to raise our kids or whatever, where there's no way to just agree to disagree and walk away, like we actually have to come to a conclusion. Then, when you're in that moment, asking questions can be really powerful. So, if somebody makes an assertion, then just say, "What's that assertion based on?" And then if they're like they're giving you something that's feelings, then what I will do in a moment like that is I'll say, "I just want to lay down some, you know, base assumptions or parameters that we can agree on." And then I'll say, "Can we agree that neither of us are experts in this field?" Yes, we can agree on that. Okay. Does it seem sensible for us to appeal to an expert opinion on the subject? Yes, it does. Can we mutually agree on who an expert is? Now, if we can agree on who an expert is, as defined as somebody who's had success in that area three times or more, then it's like, "Okay, well, let's go see what the experts say in this or let's get um multiple experts. We'll pick three of five and see if, you know, there's consensus on the issue." Or if we're in a company, if there's somebody else in that company that's a recognized expert in that field, what do they think? But some way to lay essentially the groundwork for how we're going to determine what is and isn't accurate. Because what people end up doing, as you very aptly pointed out, is they have formed an opinion, which is based on their life, their assumption, maybe headlines they've heard, whatever, they've taken on that notion, that ideology, whatever it is that we're talking about, and now they've infused that with their sense of self. And so, being able to tease that all apart is very, very difficult. And one of the only ways to get somebody to reflect on that, rather than telling them anything, is to ask them questions. So, asking them why they believe something, asking them how we're going to determine what a fact is, who an expert is, what we should be listening to, not listening to. And by the way, in that, if they continue to give irrational answers, at least you'll be able to figure out sort of where the irrational answer lies. And if somebody is just determined to be irrational, if somebody is entrenched in their opinion, and it becomes their identity is wrapped up in this, at some point you really have to understand that you're having what I call a collision of values. And the only way out of that is to try to steel-man each other's arguments. And so, if you can state their side very clearly and succinctly, generously, with warmth, like actually trying to understand where they're coming from, and that they can do the same for you, now you at least can say, "Yes, you understand my position perfectly, and I understand your position perfectly." Like you're each acknowledging that the other person has actually been able to articulate generously your position. And so, it's like, "Yes, I have There's no nuance left. You completely understand it." But now we still disagree. Okay, now you've hit a collision of values. Now there's no layer to go beyond that. Now you just have to either say, "Okay, well, there's no way for us to come to an agreement on this because we both see this whole situation very differently. We value different things in this moment. And when you're there, when you know that this is a collision of values, one of you either has to adopt the other person's values, or you have to walk away. There won't be any coming to a conclusion on that. And you know, we're obviously living through a point now where people are doing that more and more. Algorithms are sort of pushing people into these really siloed, really like hardcore, ultra like processed versions of any idea that's like driving people farther and farther apart. And the only way back is for people to recognize that the other person has value, that the other person deserves compassion and warmth, and that again, going back to my earlier answer, if they're so dogmatic and so letting their identity get wrapped up in that, that's its own punishment and and is pathology. And they will never be able to see the world clearly and move forward in a a functioning way. And so, being somebody who is truly open-minded, who is looking for the right answer as determined by I have a goal, what answer moves me towards that goal, right? And so, that goal though is that's part of that values, making sure that we're actually aiming at the same thing, which can be an important question to ask. Where are we trying to end up? Because if you're both trying to end up in the same place, it gets a lot easier. But if you recognize we're actually both trying to end up in different places, then we know, okay, at least we can acknowledge that we're both trying to end up in different places. So, again, this comes back to wanting to be able to understand, wanting to be able to articulate their side, not trying to force them into meeting admitting that they're wrong, which most people will not be able to do. They just won't have the emotional wherewithal to pull that off. And so, trying to get people to do that is very, very difficult. It makes it about winning and losing, and you're triggering a natural human tendency to defend. And so, you're just not going to get what you want. So, I would do everything I could to let go of right and wrong and just focus on understanding. I know that's not very satisfying, especially in a world where people want to dunk on each other. That's part of the problem. I hope you guys are enjoying this episode, which is brought to you by Impact Theory University's business decision-making workshop. With nine full-length classes and weekly live case studies with me, the business decision-making workshop is a hands-on approach to honing your abilities to scale your business. I'm going to be in there with you working through your hardest problems so that you'll be able to master how to overcome any impediment by getting the most foundational way to think through novel problems. And that, my friends, is exactly what you need to do if you want to scale your company and have the kind of crazy success you've always dreamed. I promise it is possible. This is teachable. This is something that you can learn. It is a process that you can deploy against your business and be able to move confidently forward. Just go right now to decision.impacttheory.com to apply. Do not delay, my friends. Spots are limited. Again, go to decision.impacttheory.com and apply today. I'll see you guys on the inside. Right, I'm a cashier at Walmart and I encounter a lot of rude and obnoxious customers. However, I know it is my duty to treat them with respect, but it can be difficult. Any tips on how to approach trouble people while being honest, straightforward, and genuine? Yes. So, this comes down to what you value in the exchange. I like Jordan Peterson's idea of tell the truth or at least try not to lie. Sometimes there can be a truth that we leave unsaid because this is a momentary interaction where I would say kindness is the higher value than pointing out every flaw that we see or every bit of obnoxious behavior because at some point it just spirals into madness to point out every misstep that somebody is doing. And so when I look at somebody that is being obnoxious, being rude, my goal is to shift their energy. How can I get them back into a place where they're feeling good, they're feeling warmth, they are in a place where they feel kind, right? Cuz most people, it isn't that they are incapable of kindness. And if they are, like imagine how shitty that life would be. Somebody who never experiences kindness, joy, warmth, connection. That would truly be its own hell. So I'm not going to worry about pointing out every obnoxious thing that they're doing. And I would play a game with myself of how much joy can I spread. And in some ways you are leaving a truth unsaid, which is that they're being unkind or obnoxious or whatever. But by trying to spread kindness, you're not lying. And especially if you share that value with me of wanting to just put as much good vibes into the world as you can. And look, I'm not perfect and there is no doubt that sometimes people are just like, "God damn. Like I just don't want anything to do with it." But that doesn't feel like me at my best. Me at my best feels like, "All right, cool. Can we switch this energy around? Can we get them to soften, to feel that human warmth and a bit of connection?" And can I I mean, with a smile, you will be shocked how much you can change somebody's demeanor. So, that's how I would flip it. I would just see how much joy can I spread even when people are being problematic to me. Now, it doesn't mean that I let people abuse me or anything like that. I don't. I imagine you guys can get a pretty good guess about uh what I'm like. I don't let people walk over me or be a dick to me or whatever, but I find it far more interesting to try to change somebody's energy than to get them to go, "Yeah, I am being a dick." That's just not interesting to me. Trying to get them to sort of confess that they are the problem. I'd much rather hold myself accountable to like how much sort of emotional jujitsu can I do here. All right. Next question. How do I know if I'm being a difficult person? Well, the fact that you're asking the question is already gives me a tremendous amount of hope. And ultimately, you're just going to have to pick up on cues. So, look at how people leave a an exchange with you. Are they leaving feeling more upbeat? Is there a positive energy between the two of you? Um do you feel yourself getting agitated or flustered a lot? Um cuz I don't think people set out to be difficult. I think what happens is their insecurity gets triggered. They're they feel like they're being attacked. They're you know, like one of the most just gnarly positions to be in is to feel like you're supposed to think this way and this is supposed to be your stance. And you can't really defend it. It makes you a little bit insecure. And so, when people come after you and you know that like you feel like you're being outmatched intellectually. Oh god. Like you just launch in with ad hominem attacks and you make it personal and you, you know, it's name-calling. It's, "Oh, this person's an idiot." Whether you say it out loud or internally. And if you find yourself in that position, feeling like that, feeling agitated, feeling defensive, then odds are that you are being difficult because difficult isn't about, "I'm setting out to be a jerk." It's, "Ooh, something has triggered an insecurity in me and now I'm not at my best. I'm not at my most compassionate. I'm not at my most open. I'm not at my most friendly. I'm not trying to elevate other people. I'm not trying to spread joy and warmth and all of that, right? I'm defensive. I feel like I'm, you know, in a sort of intellectual boxing match. Maybe I'm trying to win. All of that stuff is exactly what it feels like to be the difficult person, right? That's what's so fascinating about this is we all think the other person is being difficult. When in reality, there's probably something that we could have done differently to have that exchange go in a completely different direction. And instead of focusing on how difficult that person is being, asking like how could we do a bit of emotional jujitsu in this moment and get the kind of outcome that we want. So, having that self-awareness, understanding the body sensations that you're getting, being able to interpret them, and then ideally being able to dial them back. So, this is really a a the ability to build the self-awareness around excuse me, around the emotions that you're having. And uh there's a book called How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett that goes into great detail about how you can do that and I highly recommend that book. All right. How do you deal with someone who when losing an argument grabs at other topics they've had issues with in the past and brings those in to argue about instead of finishing the current argument and admitting they're wrong. Okay, so interesting. If you want people to admit that they're wrong, there're going to be times there are going to be times. In fact, there are definitely times where I am focused on explaining why I think I'm right. Now, when I do that, whoever I'm discussing with cuz they know my stance, right? Don't worry about being right, just try to find the right answer. Now, what do you do when you're not worried about being right, but you really believe you have the right answer? So, now you're in this pickle, right? So, I'm not worried about them admitting that they're wrong. If you find yourself wanting somebody to admit that they are wrong, already the energy is in the wrong place. So, now if you're trying to explain to somebody why you're right because it matters. Now, when it doesn't matter, that's the time to just let that [ __ ] go. But, if it matters, right? Again, how we raise the kids, um what should we do with our finances? Who are somebody we're working with, how they're engaging, how we talk to our boss, whatever. Things where it's like, okay, the outcome of this thing actually does have consequences, and so we have to see this through. Okay, so first of all, if I think that I'm right, I'm going to present my case. I'm going to be as succinct as I can. I'm going to recognize that communication is difficult, that I have what I call base assumptions. So, what I'm trying to do is get to the point where we're being understood. So, we're doing the steel man thing, right? So, now I'm going to say, all right, I'm going to try to make my explanation as simple as I can because if you understand it well, I should be able to make it quite simple. So, if you find that you're doing run-on sentences and, you know, 4-minute rants trying to get them on board, you may not understand it clearly enough yourself, so you may be speaking so that you can be understood. Sorry, so that you can understand yourself rather than so that you can be understood. And recognizing when you're speaking so that you can understand is very important. So, I'm going to state it succinctly. Then I'm going to ask them if they can steel man my argument. Now, if somebody is discussing this with you in good faith, then they should be able to generously present your argument back to you. Now, if they can't, you'll at least understand which part of it is that they're missing. Now, once they can steel man your argument and they can say as articulately as you what your position is, and then they say, "And I still disagree, and I disagree for this reason." Now, at least we know what we're arguing about. But the problem is when somebody's bringing in a new topic or whatever, people just let the like scope creep go. They're like, maybe they're getting confused as well. And so, in those moments, what I do is I just take it on myself and say, "Look, I'm getting a little bit confused, so I'm not sure where you're going with that. There may be a completely valid reason why you're bringing that thing in. I don't yet understand it. I'm worried that you may not fully understand my argument, which by the way may be because I'm not explaining it well. So, if we could, I'm just going to quickly state my whole thesis, right? Super succinctly, like in a sentence or two. And if you can't do that, you don't understand it well enough. So, I'm going to give it to him in a sentence or two, and I'm going to say, "Can you repeat my stance back to me? Just so that I know that we're on the same page." And that is one way to keep the argument grounded so that as they begin reaching for something else, we call it out generously, not like, "What the [ __ ] Why are you bringing that up? That doesn't have anything to" Right? That posturing matters and forces everybody into these more and more defensive postures. So, with that generosity, the true desire to understand, you're going to take it and break it down piece by piece, and that's the key. Let's just take it one piece at a time. Here's my thesis. This is why I say this. This is why I think this is right. What's your thesis? Okay, that's your thesis. That's why you think that's right, right? We have two conflicting views. So, now, when we can both explain each other's sides, we can diffuse that situation. We can stop the scope creep of the argument. We can keep things just to the facts. But if you're you're able to state those things. Okay, we're going somewhere that feels like it's outside outside the scope of this discussion, right? Reground it. If you're not able to state your thesis, then things just start going everywhere. And what people are doing, and this is this was a really powerful realization for me, and unfortunately I forget who said this, but often times people speak not so that they can be understood, but so that they can understand. So, they are trying to talk their way through a problem. They're trying to figure it out in real time, verbally processing out loud. And so I'll actually say to people, are you just processing verbally out loud right now? Because I might be able to help, but when I think that you're trying to present an argument, like you actually believe this, you think this is true, but you're sort of all over the map and you're wandering around, I can't [ __ ] follow you. And so that gets crazy making. So, now I'll just say, it seems like you're speaking so that you can sort of think through this, which I'm here for. Let me help you. And giving them the space to like walk through it, you'll be shocked at how people will just be like, actually, you know what? You're right. I can't say my position in two sentences. I am just talking through this so that I can understand something. And now it's like if you're generous in that moment and are like, hey cool. Like, you know, I'll give you the space, right? I'm not going to interject. Like go until you feel like you've really got it out. Or ask the same, like, hey, I'm actually not entirely sure what my position is, and I just need for a second, I just need a sounding board. If you can give me like 3 minutes, I'll even time it. I will legitimately do I will take my phone out and hit a timer so I don't get crazy long. And just say, hey, I just need to process through this. Man, when you do that kind of framework conversation around it, of like, here's what I think my thesis is, or you know what? I just need a minute to think through this, or hey, this feels like scope creep. When you start just stating this stuff, okay? The scaffolding of the conversation, You're actually call attention to it. Man, it just lowers everybody's stress. People don't feel backed into a corner. They feel like they can really get to something. And then don't be afraid to hit the pause button and come back. All right. At the end of the day, if you almost play a game with yourself and say, "I want to see if I can change the energy of somebody who's being difficult. I want to see if I can stay compassionate, generous, kind, warm through all of this." Don't get me [ __ ] wrong. Sometimes it's really hard, especially if it's your kids or your parents or your spouse. Like, it can be hard. I get it. But as we try to be our best selves and present ourselves in the way that's going to get us what we want, which is a harmonious relationship, which is the ending of the difficulty, by looking at what we could do to change that situation, you will be shocked at how far that goes. Figuring out how to point out the scaffolding of a conversation is huge. Breaking things down into small pieces, being generous in articulating their stance, recognizing a collision of values and knowing, "Hey, if we can't agree on where we're trying to end up, if we can't agree on what the value is, this is going to be a fruitless conversation." And the sooner you recognize that's where you're at and that you need to actually talk about the value or just go your separate ways, the healthier all of your relationships are going to be. And then just lead with kindness and recognize that people that think differently, that's important. And we shouldn't want everybody to see the world exactly the way that we see it. And if we can come at things from that perspective of trying to understand before we try to be understood, woo-wee, you're going to find that a lot of that difficulty just goes by the wayside. And that's how I deal with difficult people. All right, guys. Not only do I hope that adds value, I really think if you actually do those things, it will change your life. This is one of the ways that I'm able to navigate in the business world. You're inevitably going to need to partner with people that don't see the world the same as you. You're going to have employees that don't see the world the same as you. And if you can't navigate this, you're in real trouble. Same in my marriage. There are inevitably going to be things where you don't see the same. And being able to navigate a situation where sometimes you're going to be convinced the other person is [ __ ] with me. They are literally going out of their way to try to be difficult. And then you realize it's actually not true. We just don't see eye to eye on this issue. And I'm sure from their shoes, I seem just as difficult as they seem to me. And when you point them thumbs back at yourself and look at what you can do, the world gets a whole lot better. All right, that's it. Did that add value? Be sure to subscribe. Until next time, my friends. Be legendary. Take care. Peace. Thank you for watching this episode, which again was brought to you by Impact Theory's very own business decision-making workshop. If you guys are ready to take your business to the next level by investing in yourself and learning the first principles of business, then I want you to take action right now and go to decision.impacttheory.com to apply. I promise you I am giving you every piece of information that you will need to overcome any obstacle that your company is facing to stare down problems that will arise a year, five years after you take the course. This is the strategies of business decision-making that every successful entrepreneur has to learn to deploy against their company if they want to grow. All right, guys. I promise it will deliver 10x the value of what you pay for it. And if it doesn't, I'll give you your money back, no questions asked. You know me. I live in the public eye. There's nowhere for me to hide. This is me trying to give as much value as humanly possible. I really think this class would be transformative and I hope you will sign up. Now, we'll see you in the next live class. All right, guys. Take care and be legendary.