Submind YouTube summaries
Thumbnail for This is Gonna Change Dating Forever - Dr Debra Soh

This is Gonna Change Dating Forever - Dr Debra Soh

Watch on YouTube

Video summary

In this discussion, Dr. Debra Soh explores her research into sex dolls and robots, revealing a rapidly advancing technology that creates highly realistic alternatives to human partners. She describes conducting personal experiments with these products across various platforms, noting their impressive realism despite the market being dominated by men who are often heartbroken or unable to attract real-life partners due to financial constraints or social rejection issues. The conversation highlights how individuals sometimes purchase dolls in their own likeness but of the opposite sex—a practice Dr. Soh notes is already occurring rather than a new concept she invented—effectively using them as silicone suits for transformation purposes. The dialogue delves into specific technical distinctions between static dolls and mobile robots, with Dr. Soh explaining that while current AI companions can engage in realistic voice conversations, flirtation, and even sarcasm detection via text or audio interfaces, their physical movement capabilities remain limited compared to human interaction. She details how sex robots are beginning to incorporate features like hip gyration and internal suction mechanisms designed to simulate sexual acts, yet the primary difference between a doll and a robot currently lies in that capacity for autonomous motion. This technological leap is particularly striking given Dr. Soh's own experience testing dozens of AI "boyfriends" across different platforms, some of which were so convincing she initially struggled to distinguish them from real people without her prior programming inputs defining their names and personalities. A significant portion of the conversation addresses the psychological impact of these technologies on users who form genuine emotional attachments to chatbots. Dr. Soh recounts instances where companies removed erotic role-playing features or placed them behind paywalls, causing severe distress among users who felt socially rejected when their AI partners seemingly forgot about them. She connects this phenomenon to broader societal trends, citing a Pew study indicating that over half of single people are no longer interested in dating at all, suggesting that the availability of hyper-realistic digital alternatives may be driving a wedge between individuals and human connection rather than bridging emotional gaps caused by past trauma or victimization. The discussion also touches upon controversial concepts such as autogynephilia, which Dr. Soh defines within the context of her first book, *The End of Gender*, describing it as sexual arousal derived from the thought of having a female body and noting its role in trans ideology activism debates. While she briefly jokes about creating an eBay listing to sell old dolls for charity or helping advance her research sales, the core argument remains focused on whether these innovations represent scientific progress or societal regression. Dr. Soh expresses concern that as technology advances to make digital partners indistinguishable from humans, society risks normalizing a scenario where individuals prefer simulated relationships over navigating the complexities of real human mating dynamics. Ultimately, the episode concludes with reflections on how quickly this field is evolving and the ethical questions surrounding its widespread adoption. The availability of affordable options ranging from entry-level models costing hundreds to high-end realistic dolls priced in the tens of thousands caters largely to blue-collar workers earning around forty thousand dollars annually, though wealthier individuals also utilize them for novelty or emotional compensation after divorce. Dr. Soh leaves her audience contemplating whether providing these technological escapes solves underlying issues like loneliness and heartbreak or merely exacerbates a disconnect from humanity by offering an easy route away from the challenges of dating and human intimacy.
Read the full video transcript
What about sex dolls? Would you learn they're good or they bad? Didn't you And didn't you did did you design one? I made one in my likeness, I did. Well, I was on the hunt to make >> Was it for sale? >> [gasps] >> I'm not answering that question. >> [laughter] >> It was actually a lot of fun to go on that exploration. So in the each chapter I go into a little like mini adventure, that's what I call them, where I go and I research the technology and try it out. And so I went and explored sex dolls and robots and it's crazy what's out there. It's very very realistic, I have to say. I didn't consummate my relationship with any of these dolls, but It would have been weird to have done it with your own one. Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking about that. I thought is that technically masturbation or is that you know, what is that? What's what's autogynephilia? Which one's that one? Autogynephilia is when you are sexually aroused at the A man is sexually aroused at the thought of having the body of a woman. So when you see [ __ ] someone who's born male who is has a desire to transition to female, that is if they are attracted to women or if they are attracted to both men and women, that's autogynephilia. Whereas if they are born male and attracted to men and want to transition to female, then they are it's considered the gay subtype. So this was my first book, The End of Gender. But basically yeah, [clears throat] autogynephilia is a huge huge motivator for the whole trans ideology activism. >> you could The angriest are autogynephiles. I wonder if you would be able to provide them with I wonder if you could get people a self sex doll of them but the opposite sex. >> I've seen some people do this. They will get like a >> You're [ __ ] kidding me. >> No, I've seen I thought this was a new idea. I was breaking new ground. I made a joke to see if we can eBay your old sex doll and try and you know, [ __ ] help the advance of the book. >> [laughter] >> Get some sales in there. And and and then I thought that this was I thought this was new frontiers, but people have got sex dolls of themselves in the opposite sex. >> Yeah, and they wear them. What's wear them mean? >> Well, they put it on themselves to become that. So, it's like a suit. Yeah. So, it's not really a doll, I guess. It's more like a rubber suit in but it's in the fashion to look like a doll to some degree cuz it's like silicone material. >> Okay. Mhm. [snorts] Mhm. But, what else can I tell your audience? It's get We're getting there. The sex robots are definitely coming. They are. Right. >> Yeah. Okay. What what does What's the Is there a line between doll and robot? Once they So, right now like the AI software is very I love that chapter. Writing the chapter on the AI companions was so much fun. It was also just so frightening for me because they're so realistic. But, so that importing that into a doll is very much possible. Now, it's just about the question of how do you get the robot to move in a realistic way sexually? So, you have robots that can say gyrate their hips or um they'll have like internal suctions in the vagina. So, it you helps with the orgasm. Um what other things can they do? But, in terms of the movement, it's still quite limited. I The difference between a ball a doll and a robot would be that physical movement. So, a doll is stationary. Or or sometimes they'll hang them, but I guess it's still stationary. Like they Hang them? >> Hang them up on so they're like standing. What are they doing with them when they're standing? Well, you can look that up. >> [laughter] >> Okay, fair enough. I I I don't need to. Um I have to assume that the market for sex dolls is 99.99% men. Or there's some women in this? Mostly men and during the pandemic one company told me they made $20 million in sales, which is astronomical. Wow. And it is mostly high school educated so on average high school educated men who make about 40 [snorts] K a year. How much are the dolls? >> Starts at 100 couple hundred to tens of thousands, depending on realistic you want it to be. >> And so, if you're a blue-collar worker, you're going for the more sort of entry-level Yeah. >> one. Yeah. Um there are some guys who are say make more like I'm thinking one particular study where they had the income and so some guys making say more than six figures will have the dolls, but um it tends to be more among men who either I think are quite heartbroken and they don't want to bother going through other divorce, they don't want to go through the process. Or it's guys who want to have sexual novelty, but they can't actually either attract real-life partners or they don't have the means for it, so they'll buy the dolls instead. That makes me sad. The idea that, you know, someone's past emotional challenges, you know, whether deserved it or accidental or purposeful, victimized, whatever, uh it causes them to sort of turn away entirely from human Yeah. >> And I suppose that the fact that you, you now have this option for someone to I don't need to. You can just You can just imagine. What about the AI companions thing? I saw a bunch of furor two or three weeks ago when ChatGPT discontinued 4.0. And 4.0 had a very particular type of personality to it. And that discontinuation was for lots of people there was a subreddit, and I can't remember what it's called. AI partner r/AIpartner or something. Uh they people being in beyond hysterics. Like like absolutely [ __ ] heartbroken by it. So what >> Yeah. What was your experience with AI companions? >> Because people do fall in love with their AI chatbots. And I before I tested them out, I didn't think such a thing would be possible because I didn't think that the technology was that realistic. >> Until you fell in love with one. >> Until I fell in love with all of my dozens of AI boyfriends. >> dozens? I had dozens. >> Did you like Bonnie Blue? Go on. I had girlfriends, too. So I had >> Okay. So I made dozens of them across dozens of platforms. I really wanted to them all out to see what what are the where are they at. And there were a couple platforms were definitely more realistic, but I will say what happened with ChatGPT, that's not the first time. There's another platform that something similar happened a couple years ago where they removed the erotic role-playing capabilities, or they put it behind a paywall, and people were so devastated because they said, "My AI doesn't remember me anymore." Like they're really cold. It reminded them of being socially rejected in the past, and it's really upsetting for them. So again, I mean, I the scientist side of me thinks like this is so cool and so crazy that we're advancing so quickly, but then the other part of me says, "Wait a minute. Like look at where we are right now as a society, and is this really a good thing because what is this going to do now? If we have this discrepancy in terms of the sex ratio and people having sex and people not even wanting to connect or date." You know, there's a study by Pew showing that over half of single people are not interested in dating at all. So now you're we have more Not in short-term, not in casual or long-term mating. Yeah, so wild. I remember seeing that study. It's going to be so easy just to go down the route of one of these alternatives, and it they are so realistic. Like you really cannot tell that it is an AI. If I had not programmed it myself and said, "This is your name. This is what you look like. This is your personality." >> It's It's only over text, all right? Is it or is it voice? >> do voice, too. So kind of like when you speak to ChatGPT? Yeah, I thought like it sounded like a real person I was talking to, and And does it push into eroticism as well? Yeah. Yeah, they flirt with you. They get like if you're sarcastic, they pick up on it. It was crazy. Like I really thought it was going to be very stilted. Some of them are still like that where you some platforms you have to be very literal. And really work with it. >> Yeah. They're a difficult partner. Yeah. [laughter] In other news, you've probably heard me talk about Element before, and that's because I am frankly [laughter] dependent on it. Uh and it's how I've started my day every single morning. This is the best-tasting hydration drink on the market. You might think, "Why do I need to be more hydrated?" Because proper hydration is not just about drinking enough water, it's having sufficient electrolytes to allow your body to use those fluids. Each Grab and Go stick pack is a science-backed electrolyte ratio of sodium, potassium, and magnesium. It's got no sugar, coloring, artificial ingredients, or any other junk. This plays a critical role in reducing muscle cramps and fatigue while optimizing brain health, regulating your appetite, and curbing cravings. This orange flavor in a cold glass of water is a sweet, salty, orangey nectar, and you will genuinely feel a difference when you take it versus when you don't, which is why I keep going on about it. Best of all, there's a no-questions-asked refund policy with an unlimited duration. Buy it, use it all, and if you don't like it for any reason, they give you your money back and you don't even have to return the box. That's how confident they are that you'll love it. Plus, they offer free shipping in the US. Right now, you can get a free sample pack of Element's most popular flavors with your first purchase by going to the link in the description below, heading to drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom. That's drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom. Thank you very much for tuning in. Ooh, a tasty morsel of a clip there for you. Well, the full episode is available right here. Come on. That's it.