This Interview Got More Ridiculous With Every Question

Oh, hello. >> I don't know if you remember me. >> I do. >> Miami >> Aquarium. >> Oh, you don't? It's okay. We talk because >> Where do we meet? >> You're Persian and that's why I said hi. >> Yeah, but but where do we meet? Cuz I I >> am the player summit. >> Oh, okay. That's where it was, right? >> What are we doing in Germany? >> I'm uh here for Gamescom. Are we live? >> Yeah. >> Oh, hold on. Hi, how is it you? It was Sal. >> Yeah, I'm right now. Yeah. >> Hey. Um, cool. You're in my town, I guess. >> I am. Wait, are you from here? >> No, I'm from Switzerland. But >> that's the same thing. >> Actually, no. We are cooler than Germans. >> Well, yeah, but it's just a different part of the country. >> Yeah, but we are cooler. >> Yeah, it's the cooler part of the country of Europe, right? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Cuz that's like Switzerland's like North Europe, right? North. >> Have you been to Switzerland? >> Absolutely. >> Really? >> Yes. >> Where? >> Sweden. >> Okay. Try again. >> Just kidding. >> Hey, I've been to Switzerland. >> Wait. Um, it's your first time Gamescom? >> Uh, I have been to Gamescom once before. >> One time. >> And you're just private here or >> Okay. Okay. So, the reason I'm here is because I'm on a mission. Yes. >> A side quest. >> No, it's a main quest. >> Okay. >> Yeah. So, I am a fugitive on the run. >> Yes. I'm an enemy of the state right now. >> Oh, okay. >> Yeah. >> Basically, what happened was I was in a time where it seemed like all hope was lost. I made a decision. I was playing basketball in New York. >> Okay. Yeah. You look like it's Yeah. >> Thank you. I've been told. So, I was playing basketball and you know, we're playing street hoops as we call it on the streets. >> Street hoop in the streets. Are you from the ghetto or something or >> No, it's just it's just we do what I do. So, I performed an illegal maneuver. It's called a chaos dunk. So, we were about to lose the game and I was like, I got to do something drastic to score as many points as possible. So, I go and I and I hit the chaos dunk. And >> do you smoke? >> Nope. >> Yeah. Sorry, I just I didn't want to interrupt. It was just a question. >> I have asthma. >> Oh, okay. Sorry. >> So, anyway, I land the Chaos Dunk. >> Yeah. >> Mushroom cloud explosion. Millions died. And then what ends up happening is New York was completely raised, very little survivors. And then what ends up happening is the FBI comes in and they end up starting the anti- basketball regulation and they need to get one guy who can handle this and actually be in charge of this and like we need to stop SAN television. So who did they get? I know what you're thinking. Michael Jackson. But he's dead. They got Michael Jordan. >> Well, do you play Fortnite? >> I play basketball. >> But do you play Fortnite? Nope. >> There is an amazing Michael Jackson map in part. >> Is there really? >> You should play it. >> Michael Jordan is the guy though. >> Yeah, but you talked about Michael Jackson and you should play the Michael Jackson. >> I really that last >> Hold on. I have a I have a phone call real quick. You get pulled over by the cops now that you have lost all your hi. They'll have to check to make sure. >> I wasn't done with my story. >> Okay, that's >> I'm going to mute that for now. >> Have you ever played um Oblivion? >> Uh I have. >> Yeah. >> I I I've got this Oblivion feeling, you know. >> Yeah. >> Do you know the main Yeah. >> Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. >> So anyway, >> yeah. Um, I end up landing the Chaos Dunk. Michael My Jordan comes in. He's in against the anti- basketball federation. Basketball is now legal in America. >> Wow. >> Yeah. So, most of the people live in the sewers of New York and all the basketball players, they're in hiding. Jaylen Brunson, all of them. So, it's like super bad. So, I end up leaving the country and coming to Gamescom. >> You're amazing storyteller. I have like a little bit pee in my eyes. >> Yeah. >> I've been told that that happens to a lot of people. Amazing. >> Yeah, a lot of people say that. >> So, you're also um Persian, guys. Do you think he looks like like my uncle or >> what do you mean? What do you mean you're like your uncle? >> Yeah, because you >> What do you mean uncle? >> What do you You're scared of that? You're Persian. I could be like, "Hey, we're home. >> We're home." So, do you think he looks like my Do you also say Kuz? >> Wait, what? >> Kuz Kuzan >> cousin. >> Cousin? Yeah. I'm sorry because I'm not fluent in English. My language is German. You know German. >> Yeah, but what? No. >> Can you say something in German? >> Uh, dasis. >> Dasis. What else? >> I don't know anything else. >> That's it. >> Uh, leader hosen. >> Leer hosen. >> I don't know. Is that a word? It's like leather pants. >> Oh, uh, leader shirt. >> It's like a leather shirt. >> Yeah. Yeah, that's okay. Can you say something in Persian? >> I can't speak. >> Not at all. >> No, I'm joking. I don't speak I can speak. But here's the thing. We don't call it Persian. I'm from >> I'm so sorry, boss. >> No, no, no. We call it Iranian cuz I'm from Texas. >> So So it's Iran. >> You know, you know, if you say Iranian, people think about like puffang. Wait, what? Like, >> but if you >> like Wuhan clan? >> No, no, but but if you talk about Persia, you think about this like historical documentary and Oh, so nice. >> You might you might be my grandma. >> Damn. That's crazy. I thought you were my uncle. >> No. Okay. So, in Texas, we say Iran instead of Iran. >> Why? >> Because that's, you know, it's that's how it's spelled. Yeah. But it's Iran. >> But why don't you say Persian? Per Persian. You're Don't you say you're Persian? >> I mean, sometimes >> it depends on your mood or on your >> Yeah. I mean, I just Well, usually I just kind of say all the above. So, I'll be like, "Oh, I'm Persian, Iranian, Iranian, Iranian, >> Persian, Iranian, >> Persian, Iranian, Iranian, like >> mermaid, uh, helicopter, you name it." >> Okay. >> Yeah. Paladin, Red Paladin, >> four time multi-gladiator, grand marshal scare in the same week in 2019. >> What's >> 2020 actually? >> What's your hair routine? Uh, wash it sometimes. >> With what? >> Uh, I use it's a 10 shampoo. >> Just one shampoo. >> Yeah, it's a 10 >> and just >> uh 10 10 in one like the what what men use like for washing their cars, for the rocks, and then for their hair. >> 10 in one. >> Uh, oil change, uh, you know, whatever it is, you name it. Window cleaner, the whole thing. 10 in one. >> Okay. But it looks great. It looks um >> That's what it is. And sometimes whenever whenever like something's dirty, I just do this and I clean it. I don't know if you say that, but you look bougie. >> Uh, I say bajgeoa. >> I never heard that before. >> Oh, that's cuz it's really bougie. >> Oh, are you bougie? >> Of course. >> Look at my nails. >> Can you would you say you're Sorry, that's the wrong English. But are you a Betty? >> Uh, no. I'm a good guy. >> Yeah, >> I I'm a paladin. I would never do anything bad. >> But that's not meant to be bad. Like, >> what do you mean? >> Betty is like a Betty. like a really good looking >> Wait, baddy. That's >> what the meaning that's gay, >> isn't it? Cuz Ali G. >> I said that all the time about myself. So that's not the thing in America. Being a baddy. >> I know. In Ali G they say that's gay, right? >> So I'm gay. >> Maybe. I don't know. >> Are you gay or a gamer? >> I'm uh I'm not a doctor. >> Gay or a gamer? >> Technically, I don't know. >> Okay. >> Because the only way to really know is you have to try both. >> You should visit >> and you have to compare. You should visit KitKat in Germany. >> I thought you were going to say you should visit Kit Boga. >> No. No. Kit. >> You know Kit Boga though? >> No. >> He's a great guy. >> But do you know KitKat? >> Uh the candy or the planet? >> No. No. That's like a club here. >> A club? >> Yes. >> I don't go to clubs. >> Yeah. But you should like you want to find out if you're a game gay or gamer. So you should go to Kit Kat. >> The only way to know is to try both though. And then you have to compare >> whatever your stomach is telling you. >> Stomach. >> You You know what you just did? >> You You did a triple translation. >> Oh my gosh, that was crazy. >> What did I say? I forgot. >> No, you said whatever your stomach is telling you. Oh, >> so you said you said in your head and then you translated it to German and then you translated again to English and you said the wrong word because D means two things in Farsy. >> You are Albert Einstein, >> I've been told. >> Amazing. Persian one with more hair. >> Yeah. And more hair and uh bigger muscles >> and smaller nose. >> Yeah. >> A little smaller. Not that much smaller. >> Yeah. But you look you look like >> Thank you. smaller mustache. I didn't even said something. You said thank you. >> Well, I Well, I mean, it was it was probably going to be nice. >> No, >> thank you. >> You're welcome. >> It was great talking to you. >> I know it was. >> Do you want to say something to to Germany, >> guys? Germany is great, but you know what's even better than Germany? >> Trump. >> German cars. >> True. Yeah. Nice. >> Cuz German cars are sick. >> Wait, what is the best German car? >> Mercedes. >> Why? >> Because I drive one. >> Which one? >> C. >> CL. >> Yeah. >> Is it Is it okay? >> Uh, yeah, it's good. Good one. >> Nice. >> It's okay. >> Okay. And do you want >> I mean, it could be better. >> Swiss community. >> Uh, Swiss Switzerland is good. But you know what's even better than Switzerland? Iran. >> No. >> Swiss cheese. >> Obama. >> Yeah. True. And chocolate. >> Cuz cuz there's nothing bad about those. But you know, in every country there's going to be like, oh, there's good and bad, >> but there's nothing, you know, Swiss cheese is just good. >> Yeah. Oh, so the watches. >> Uh, the watches are mostly good. >> It's a little expensive. >> Yeah, that's right. >> Money's tight. Twitch Prime, please. >> It's hard rock. >> Absolutely I do. Now, now here's the real question. What's the follow-up question to that? >> This is a test >> of my question. >> Yeah, this is a test. What's the What's the proper follow-up question to do you have a Persian rug? >> Do you like your woman like your rugs? >> No, that is not the follow-up question. >> I don't know. >> No, the follow-up question is mine buffed yet buffed. >> You can speak Fisty. Of course. >> Of course. Amazing. >> Teleprompter show. I He walked away. >> Yeah, he walked away. Yeah, that's I only knew for when we had the thing on the wall. Yeah. >> Amazing. >> Other than that, it was pretty good. Oh, he's back. Oh, no. He left. >> Well, it was nice talking to you, my Persian friend. >> Thank you. >> It's funny that we see I know you forgotten, but it's funny to see you again. >> When do we meet again? It was in the bazaar >> in the in the village. >> Yeah. >> Oh, >> it was in the swinger club. >> I don't think so. >> Well, I wish you a nice uh staying in the game. >> Wait, so why are you in Switzerland? >> Huh? >> Why you you said you're in Switzerland? >> Yeah. >> Why? >> Because I spawned there. >> Why though? >> My parents met there and that's the best spawn place to be. >> Yeah, but why didn't you just choose something else? >> Where? >> I don't know. You could have just chose anywhere. >> Switzerland is the best place to be. >> No, it's like there's so many other places though. >> Like I spawn in Texas on purpose. >> Why? >> Because why not? >> Don't you have like a really weird accent? Like >> No, you know what? I Okay, I met a guy. >> Oh, is not the Texas thing where like families are like really really really >> Alabama. That's Alabama. >> But is Texas not like really? >> Texas is classy. Texas is bougie. >> Ah, bad bad stuff. >> Yeah. Well, that's Houston. >> Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. >> But the south, Texas is like not like when the south, it's actually more of the southeast. It's like Louisiana to like Atlanta and then Atlanta starts to shift into Florida. >> Oh, you have here Texas? >> Yeah, Texas the best. >> Do you have a cow? >> I have two cows. >> Really? Do you milk them? Like >> one for my wife, one for my other wife. Oh. >> Oh, >> I'm going to trade them for the future wives. >> Oh, you like woman? >> Uh, >> we'll see. >> I mean, like is actually a very strong word cuz like >> uh it's how do you call that? Ali, how do you say that? But >> uh no alibi, >> is it >> like u g l y? You ain't got no alibi. >> You >> when the police needs to know where you have been and you have a >> Oh, uh Google maps. >> Yes, Google Maps >> cuz they know everything. >> Yes. everything of the English >> and my chat said you you lost weight. Is that true? >> I've been looking for it the whole weekend and >> Oh, Zen. >> No, I wish cuz then I then I could find it cuz as soon as I was >> Craig Oh, I should ask Craig. >> No, >> Craig was my Uber driver. I must have left it in my Uber. >> Christmas. >> Oh, no. Not Not all. Because here's the thing. It's um >> too expensive. >> Oh, okay. >> Too expensive. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Um, lipos suction. >> Oh, you had a liposuction. BBL. >> Uh, well, I Yeah, but it was like a self thing. So, I just took a straw and put it in my belly button and then I just >> pooed it out. >> Well, I just kind of squeezed and then it just went right in my ass. Just like this, actually. >> Yeah. >> I think that's what Drake did. >> What? >> What Drake did. Drake. >> Drake. >> Drake had also >> Drake barked like a dog. >> A dog. Ah. Oh my god. Would you bark for a dog? >> I know. I know her. Really? Yeah. She looks amazing. And I don't want to sound like a gooner, but >> she looks amazing. >> I will never say anything nice about anyone ever. >> Why? >> Because it's not free. >> I'll do it for money. >> So I can pay you and then you will say something nice. >> Yes. Like for example, Joe Muse, thank you for the $3. >> What's your act now? What do you do? >> What is my act? Um, what is your >> like what is my next action in the queue? >> Yeah, your next action >> look at phone uh chat. What do I say next? >> You said you will you do you aren't you going to do something for your money like now? >> Uh, for money? >> I'm confused. You said you need money to say something nice. >> Well, yeah, but I also need money to think and I ran out of money. >> But he gave you money right now. So >> Oh, I said thanks. >> That's it. >> Yeah, it's only $3. >> What do you do? Thanks for $3. Stormville, >> what do you do for 30? $30. >> For $30? >> Yeah. >> Yo, thanks for $30, dude. >> Well, in Germany, we say kiggy. I mean, you do this. >> Hey, what? >> Yeah. >> What is that? >> Kiggy. >> Diggy. >> Yeah. >> Kiggy. >> Yes. And then you do this. >> Like you kiss. Yeah. >> Why don't I just >> Amazing. And >> cut out the middleman. >> Amazing. Can you do a back flip? >> Absolutely. >> Can you show it? >> Not now. My knees are uh >> So you're my uncle. >> No, they're just No, I'm cool down. I could do a back flip. I trained for it, but I haven't trained for it >> ever. Voila. >> Voila. Voila. >> Voila. Va >> va. Wait, was >> voila. >> Is that Is that a um is that a thing? >> I don't know. Well, most Germans say wala and they're not even like from the Middle East or it's like it's really a thing. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> I' I've noticed that happens a lot. Yeah. >> Yeah. They're like really influenced. >> Everybody's a habibi. >> Yeah. >> It's like, "Oh, habibi." >> Why not Azizam? >> Look, do you How much harder is that to say? >> Is like so nicer. >> Yeah. Yeah. But it's like ah but habibi it's like habibi. Yeah. It's like easier. You can Okay. Say, say say them both. >> I think you're Indian. >> No, I'm Chinese. >> No, >> prove it. >> I think you're from Sri Lanka. >> You know where Sri Lanka is? >> Yeah, it's uh where Doulson's from in Street Fighter, I think. >> Close. Really close. >> Okay. Somebody in Street Fighter is from Sri Lanka. Oh, no. No. Chad, who's from Sri Lanka and Street Fighter? Wait, they said true. Wait, was I right? Edgy Sniper gave us up the hot grandma 420. Bison Blanca. Wait, no. Blanca's from Brazil. I >> Yeah, I said you were close. >> What's your What's your favorite game? >> Witcher Tree. >> Are you excited for The Wisher 4? >> Of course. But first, the DLC will come. >> Have you played Witcher? >> Oh, absolutely. >> Which woman? >> Uh, wait, what? Which one or which woman? >> Which woman? >> Oh, that's a really important question. >> Yeah, I just kind of the default. You know, >> you're gay. >> No, the default one. The one with the white hair. Kira Mets. >> Yes. >> I think Wait, you're talking about his daughter. >> I knew you're That's what I said. Your Alabama and Texas stuff because you know >> I Yeah, >> I know where you come from. >> I haven't played The Witcher 3. >> And that's not the thing we do here because that's his daughter. >> Oh, okay. I haven't played The Witcher 3. I lied. >> Hey, it's a Yeah, you should do that. >> The >> What's your favorite >> the Alabama thing? >> No. Player three. >> Oh. >> What's your favorite game? >> I don't play games. I think games are for losers. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> So, what do you do in your free time? >> I just like to stare at the wall. >> Ponder. >> Crack. >> Yeah, not crack. >> Press the map. >> No, I just like to stare at the wall and be like, "Yeah, it's a nice looking wall." I like to build things >> like what? >> Like uh destroy them with bombs. >> Uh yeah. >> Chaos. I can tell like >> Chaos Dunk. >> Yeah, >> I see. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> That's what I like to do. Um, also World of Warcraft sometimes. >> You wake up sometimes? >> No. World of Warcraft. >> Oh, >> and GTA sometimes. And ball games. >> But are you in World of Warcraft? >> A Paladin. >> Are you aliens? Are you What's the >> Well, I'm hoard right now. >> Oh, because normally I was feeling naughty, but uh I normally play Alliance. >> Yeah, I'm a naughty girl. That's what everybody says to me. They say, "San, you're such a naughty girl. You're a pal paladine. >> Paladine. >> That was a knights. >> Knights. >> Templar. >> Knights. Knights. >> They don't speak German. >> Yeah, I speak with my chat. >> Hold on. Let me talk to them. >> Oh, no. >> Chat, do you have any idea what she's saying? >> You There's You guys There's no way you guys have a clue. Night elf. >> They know what they're saying more than you know what you're saying. Yeah, because I was like my my language is like overused now. I used everything. >> Oh, you ran out you ran out of space. >> Ran out. >> Out of RAM. RAM's expensive. >> Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. >> Wait, so where do we meet again?