This Insane Keter Troll Is Literally Scott Steiner (SCP-6599)

Item number 6599 level three confidential containment class keater special contain procedures Waldo.aiic AIC currently tracks all known accounts under the username hog slice. Post from this account are to be taken down as soon as possible. Should an alt f4 event occur, embedded foundation agents and law enforcement are to recognize the markings of an alt f4 event and effectively contain the situation following standard bail protocol. Update November 19th 2014. Following the events detailed in addendum 6599.6. SCP 6599's object class is pending reclassification of neutralized. Description: SCP 6599 is a collective of internet accounts registered under the username hog slice. SCP 6599 are present across 68% of all websites that allow for account creation. Though activity is centered on hobbyist message boards with the oldest recorded instance dated to 1999. SCP 6599 accounts are somewhat knowledgeable about the topic of the website they are posting to as well as extremely active posting upwards of 100 times a day across all accounts in the form of responses to other users. accounts have been observed to post contemporaneously with one another, though typing pattern analysis coupled with SCP 6599's anomalous effects indicate that the likelihood of SCP 6599 being multiple individuals or an organized effort is remarkably low. SCP 6599 accounts are English-speaking and communicate in a hostile argumentative pattern consistent across all instances, insulting users and making boastful statements about themselves. This behavior often prompts action by site moderators who will most likely implement a ban on the account. To date, there have been no recorded instances of an SCP 6599 account attempting to circumvent a ban. If an individual engages an SCP 6599 account in a combative way, such as insulting the instance or provoking a response from SCP 6599, an alt F4 event is likely to occur. These events result in a hostile entity designated SCP 6599-1 manifesting near the individual's present location a short time after the argument. Analysis of SCP 6599 activity has determined only 40% of engagements result in the appearance of SCP 6599-1. SCP 6599-1 is a humanoid entity resembling professional wrestler Scott Rexsteiner known under the ring name Scott Steiner. SCP 6599-1 is sapient, sentient with an estimated intelligence similar to that of an average adult human, an anomalously enhanced strength and durability. After manifesting, SCP 6599-1 will locate the individual it engaged in an argument with online and proceed to verbally berate and physically batter them to the point of hospitalization. SCP 6599-1 will then de manifest from its target location. While no fatalities have resulted from an all death war event, SCP 6599-1 frequently causes damage to the surrounding area during its assault. Addendum 6599.1 Discovery SCP 6599 was discovered on March 28th, 2008 on paratch.net. Favorite crypted thread? Big fan of the squonk personally. It's a little pig-l lookinging thing from Pennsylvania that cries because it's so ugly. People track it by looking for a path covered in its tear stains. And when people find it, it dissolves itself by crying. I wonder if that's saying something that I like it. What kind of beta male [ __ ] is that? Women and children cry. I don't. Be [ __ ] brun. Be [ __ ] heavy. You're too busy creeping your own pants over an idiot no one ever heard of instead of admiring a real [ __ ] But Moth Man, fact. Moth Man can fly. Fact. Moss eat clothes. Fact. Moth man has red eyes that peer into your [ __ ] stained soul. I don't even think you look anything or anyone in the eye because your father never taught you respect. Grow a pair of balls. Hog slice. I don't know why you're so upset about this. Chill out, man. I just wanted to talk about some cryptids is all. Sorry if my choice offended you. >> Don't tell me what to do again, [ __ ] Your choice was stupid and you should feel upset about it. Go cry about it like that dumb thing that doesn't even exist. This is Obama's America. Hog slice. >> You know what? I was having a [ __ ] day and I wanted to talk with some nice people and you just ruined it. Go [ __ ] yourself. >> The [ __ ] did you just say to me? Hulk slice. The operator of the Greg the Cararp account, Oregon resident Gregory Kaplan, was discovered later the same day with a fractured skull, two broken femurss, and a shattered humorous. A police report that was filed by Kaplan described a humanoid entity that appeared, attacked him, and disappeared from his home. Waldo.AIC's AIC's anomaly detection software was triggered and then prompted Foundation investigation. Following confiscation of relevant materials, discussions on how best to contain SCP 6599 were held at secure facility area 179. Addendum 6599.2. Notable examples. Notable examples of SCP 6599 behavior have been cataloged below. Date December 12th, 2010. Website: Muppet Central. A forum dedicated to discussion of Jim Henson's The Muppets and Associated Works. Description: Incident occurred in a thread posted by user Thog Life. Exchange have been described below. Super exciting find. An acquaintance of mine has located the singing ship from the in the Navy sketch. The owner is a relative of a former Hensen prop engine engineer, and he's debating either auctioning it off or donating the item to an archive of Muppet memorabilia. What say you, Muppet Central? Any takers? No. No one wants this [ __ ] Caddyy ass. I hate those damn puppets. Not calling them the M name. That's stupid. I know I'm going to shatter dreams here, but I don't care, baby. That's what I do. Jim Henson, con man, is a fraud and has thrown the wool over your eyes for decades. You watch this show without even questioning what's on the screen in front of you. Frogs do not talk. Bears cannot dance. Dumbass red guys who look like they live in a throat. Don't play drums and fruit. Ain't do chemistry. You can see the strings when they move. They are puppets, [ __ ] I have puppeteered in the past. Anyone with half a brain, half the balls, and any experience in the puppets business can tell you that show is all puppets. I saw this in the 70s when you were still in diapers. I wasn't falling for that [ __ ] The puppets are fake and full tiny baby dumb children who don't do anything with their lives. Pay for some actors, Jim, or put my fist up your ass like a real man and a mint used puppet. Hog slice sent from my phone. Aftermath thread developed into an argument between SCP 6599 and other Muppet Central users concerning the purpose, popularity, and production of the Muppet Show that lasted for seven pages of post before disciplinary action was taken by a moderator. Hours following the ban, Georgia resident Jamal White, operator of the Thug Life account, reported SCP 6599-1 entering his residence via detaching the front door with his hands. Anthony brandished the banjo and delivered a rendition of Rainbow Connection with lyricsing Henson and the Muppets while assaulting White with the object of a consciousness. An excerpt of these lyrics, which SCP 6599-1 repeatedly, unceasingly throughout the incident, have been transcribed from a recording of the assault and included below. Someday I'll find it a reason to give a [ __ ] about Hansen, the Muppets, and you. Upon SCP 6599-1's exit, White's wife filed a police report and admitted him to the hospital where he was treated for blunt trauma. A fractured carpass, an internal bleeding in the brain. Following treatment, standard veil retention protocol was enacted and amnestic were administered to the White Household. Date: April 28th, 2011. website. Money Beetle, a Japanese message board for insect fighting enthusiasts to congregate, bet on competitions, and discuss the sport. The website has recently come under scrutiny from law enforcement after the murder of a hobbyist following a dispute over winnings from a tournament. Description: Incident occurred in a thread posted by user prize cricket. Exchange have been transcribed below. Messages have been translated from Japanese with the exception of post made by SCP 6599. >> I'd like to thank everyone for participating in the District 11 semi-final competition yesterday. The prize money has been distributed and Money Beetle's very own Doki has taken the winnings with his female Doc Bug Cerno demolishing the competition. Here's to a successful remainder of the tournament. Exciting matches as to be expected from the District 11 superstars. They've been uploaded to my YouTube channel. I really thought the Mantis was going to win that last match, but I guess Cerno really is the strongest. >> Don't know what the hell any of you are saying cuz I only speak American, but it sounds to me like you don't know how much of a badass [ __ ] my Hercules Beetle is. You think you're a big man? [ __ ] Meet Rocky. He's a machine running off the fumes of pure hatred and sin, just like his daddy. I found him outside of a YMCA. Look at him. That's his shell. Woo! Mama, it's titanium. In case you bug fighting professionals, quote unquote, have any more doubts, let me list some of his feet for you. Rocky pulverized an ant pace and ate him, too. Rocky took on five millipedes and won. My dog Brutus is scared of Rocky. Rocky trains daily and is proud to be a winner like me. I would not abandon him like your dumb [ __ ] father would. Your bugs are vomit and would not survive a day in the wild. So, it's a good thing they're kept in cages. Ha! I didn't laugh away. That's a [ __ ] thing. I don't do that. And yes, I named him after Rocky Balboa the movie. What a badass movie. Wow. I bet you never heard of it, kid. I will crush you miserable pieces of [ __ ] Hog Slice. Slow down, cowboy. You lost. I mean, that's a great beetle, but we have specific threads for showing off our prized pets. This is a commemoration for a tournament that you didn't participate in. Besides, this is not an English-speaking forum. Please use a translation service. They're incredibly easy to use, and we'd love to talk with you. [ __ ] you're making me break my [ __ ] Hog slice. Aftermath thread was then flagged by Foundation.AIC's and removed from public view. Nakatossa resident Saw Hiroata reported SCP 6599-1 entering its residence via emerging from underneath the floorboards despite the home being built on flat ground. Entity assaulted Herotata with punching gloves, repeatedly asking if the victim had ever seen Rocky. When the victim fell to the floor, SCP 6599-1 unlocked multiple cages containing exotic insects and poured them a top Heroat's body. SCP 6599-1 left into the air and drove its elbow into his chest. SCP 6599-1 demanifested and suck contacted law enforcement and was later admitted to the hospital with a shattered rib cage. Standard Foundation veil retention protocol followed. Addendum 6599.3 containment log. Following a period of data collection related to SCP 6599 attempts to contain the anomaly was authorized by area 179's containment authority under the direction of researcher Coats. Attempts are listed below. Proposed containment. Lure SCP 6599-1 via use of a class D subject. Subdue SCP 6599-1 with tranquilizer darts. Result: SCP 6599 account engaged on a forum related to scrimshaw. SCP 6599-1 manifested, battered its way into area 179's testing chamber, Alpha 4, and immediately attacked D662833. Tranquilizer darts were unable to penetrate SCP 6599-1 skin and effectively sedated. D662833 survived with a fractured skull, three broken vertebrae, and a broken tibia. Proposed containment lure SCP 6599-1 via use of a D-class subject. Test chamber alpha 5 will be refitted with conductive bluring and wall panels. These will be electrified until SCP 6599-1 is subdued. Result. SCP 6599 account engaged on a board related to square dancing. The door to test chamber alpha 5 was left open and a path was cleared. Upon SCP 6599-1 entering the chamber was electrified. This was ineffective as SCP 6599-1 was able to withstand the voltage, remarking that the feeling was weak as [ __ ] D109682 was grabbed by SCP 6599-1 and thrown at the opposite wall, electrocuting him. D110465 suffered thirdderee burns on 60% of his dermis and two broken arms. Proposed containment lure SCP 6599-1 via use of a D-class subject with approval from 05-5. Agent Woodcock wielding SCP 5175 will then be implanted in the test chamber alpha 6 to confront SCP 6599-1. Result incident 6599-029 C addendum 6599.4 addendum 6599.4 Four personnel dossier, agent Woodcock, and SCP 5175. SCP 5175 is an ornate Moroccan knife harboring an incaporeal entity designated SCP 5175-1, which claims to be the spirit of a Japanese samurai named Karoli Tonken Hanzo. When wielded by its host, Agent Woodcock, SCP 5175 is capable of removing any form of life from baseline reality upon laceration. Due to a specific set of circumstances related in the cross- linked file, SCP 5175-1 and by extension SCP 5175 is intrinsically linked to Agent Woodcock and the two share a connection that would lead to Woodcock's employment with the Foundation. Agent Damian Lawrence Woodcock, captain of mobile task force Omega 5, Damian's Angels, is stationed at Area 179 for the purposes of wielding SCP 5175 as the object has proven successful in the neutralization of dangerous anomalies. While Woodcock has demonstrated immaturity and character unbecoming of a Foundation agent, most likely attributed to his unconventional background, his effectiveness and various neutralization, decommissioning, and tactical efforts have proven him a valuable asset to the Foundation. Transcript begin log. SCP 6599-1 appears outside test chamber Alpha 6 and punches through the plexiglass viewing area, shattering the plastic. The entity climbs into the chamber through the window. The interior lights have been turned off. Who the [ __ ] turned off the lights? I don't like the dark unless I'm having sex, which I'm not. So, turn the lights on. All attempts to write SCP 6599-1 speech during the transcription process of this log have resulted in capitalization. The cause of this minor anomalies unknown and a way to circumvent it has yet to be discovered. Agent Woodcock, who is levitating via the use of SCP 5175-1, kicks SCP 6599-1 in the stomach before darting back into the shadows. SCP 6599-1 groans, then frantically looks around the chamber, attempted to find the source of the blow. Hey, what the hell? Why don't you come out and fight me like a man, piss clown? Scumfish. The lights flicker and eventually stabilize, revealing Agent Woodcock, crouching against the corner of the chamber and holding SCP 5175 outward in a defensive position. SCP 5175-1 hovers above him. Woodcock wears a modified SICA suit which is capable of enhancing his performance on the field. Special issue combat armor. >> Holy [ __ ] Scott Steiner, that is so badass. Hey, do the math promo. >> Shouldn't you be managing a GameStop version? >> AND IS THAT A WHOA, THAT'S A SKULL TATTOO on your bicep. I've got one just like it, but with more flames. And there's also a snake coming out of the ice. And there's a banner underneath that says, "No gods, no m." >> SCP 6599-1 sprints towards Woodcock, lining itself up for a spear tackle. Agent Woodcock slides under the entity's legs. SCP 6599-1 attempts to tackle SCP 5175-1 instead, but phases through the spectre, colliding with the wall. Woodcock reorients himself towards SCP 6599-1, ready and SCP 5175 and leaves the entity. SCP 6599-1 quickly turns, catching Woodcock midair over his shoulder before slamming the agent into the floor, cracking the Lenolium. Shut the [ __ ] up. Woodcock spits out a wad of blood. Huh? Finally, a worthy opponent. Control. Play my music. >> Woodcock has compiled a playlist of songs to be played during his engagement, claiming they help him focus better. As foundation analysis to determine better performance when music is played, Woodcock's request have been granted and a speaker had been installed into his protective combat gear. Woodcock's armor begins blaring the song. 96 Quite Bitter Beans by Music Collective CKY Woodcock demonstrates approval of the song Squealing and Glee. Okay, Hanzo, it's time for our training to pay off. Prepare to be vanquished by Death Knife, [ __ ] >> SCP 5175-1 appears above Woodcock. It then flies towards SCP 6599-1 who once again attempts unsuccessfully to punch the entity. While SCP 6599-1 is distracted, Woodcock unholster shurikens from his armor and slings them at SCP 6599-1. The entity quickly punches through a wall, ripping out a large chunk of concrete and uses it as a makeshift shield. SCP 6599-1 launches a concrete at Woodcock. Before it makes contact, SCP 5175-1 appears in front of the agent and diverts the rock to a wall. SCP 6599-1 grabs Woodcock by the throat, throwing him into the air, then grabbing his legs and slamming the agent into the ground, shattering the tile. SCP 6599-1 does not release his grip and instead tosses the agent into the air again by his legs. As agent Woodcock begins to plummet, SCP 6599-1 [ __ ] his fist and connect with the agent's chest, sending him soaring into the opposite wall. SCP 5175-1 manifest under agent Woodcock, orienting the agent to allow him to spring from the wall. Woodcock flies over SCP 6599-1, who attempts unsuccessfully to grab the agent midair and bounces again off another wall and onto SCP 6599-1's back. SCP 5175-1 punches at SCP 6599-1's legs, attempting to take it off balance. SCP 6599-1 begins to thrash as Woodcock's grip tightens. Woodcock is unable to stab SCP 6599-1 as his knife hand is firmly in the grasp of SCP 6599-1. SCP 6599-1 runs backward into a wall, jumping and slamming Woodcock onto the concrete, who finally releases his grip. Woodcock lands on the beam and surveys the chamber as SCP 6599-1 appears to be catching its breath. You're pretty good. >> Not so bad yourself, [ __ ] The two run at each other. Woodcock tosses SCP 5175 into the air, catching it and stabbing at SCP 6599-1, who dodges each attempt. All attempts to punch Woodcock made by SCP 6599-1 are deflected by SCP 5175. Is that a [ __ ] >> Jojo reference? Uh, he's kind of like a stand. Actually, if you think >> I don't know what that is. He's a skeleton, though. That's [ __ ] cool, brother. SCP 5175-1, grabs SCP 6599-1, and throws it to the ground. >> Tell me, my friend, you ever dance with the devil in the uh under the in the moon? The Joker said that. I [ __ ] love the Joker. Hell yeah, bro. SCP 6599-1 leaps to his feet and readjust his sunglasses, which are now visibly cracked. The entity charges forward, but Woodcock counters with a punch from SCP 5175-1, who now stands in front of the agent. The two exchange blows for a period of time, fighting to a stalemate. I'm thinking of getting a portrait of the Joker on my thigh, actually. >> That'd be sick. Wait, I'm fighting you. Stop distracting me. SCP 6599-1 goes to punch Agent Woodcock, but is once again deflected by SCP 5175-1. Angered, SCP 6599-1 begins to target SCP 5175-1 as Agent Woodcock slides under the entity's legs and towards the chuck of concrete left on the floor. Haha. Domo origato, Mr. Robato. >> Woodcock runs at the concrete, using it as a springboard. He leaps towards a wall, bouncing off of it towards SCP 6599-1, driving the blade into SCP 6599-1's back and pulling the knife out. SCP 6599-1 falls to a knee. loosely translates to not only the moon apples, but also the mayo. Goodbye, my pet. God damn it. That ain't no pocket knife, son. >> You know, it sucks having to end this so early. I was having fun. >> Never had anyone who could actually keep up with me before. You're dead. All right. I'd buy you a beard, you piece of [ __ ] >> In the next life, then. Okay. >> If you're going to finish me off, do it right, bastard. SCP 6599-1 grabs SCP 5175 and stabs the knife further into SCP 6599-1's back. >> You're a badass [ __ ] >> Hell yeah, you are. That was kind of purple mist surrounds SCP 6599-1 and the entity disappears. Tears are seen forming in agent Woodcock's eyes. He she's SCP 5175 and exit the testing chamber. Analog addendum 6599.5. behavioral changes. Following the altercation with SCP 5175-1 and POI 3445, SCP 6599 and SCP 6599-1 were presumed to be neutralized, as was the case with other anomalies that have been lacerated by SCP 5175. However, SCP 6599 accounts resumed activity the following day. Though a number of changes in posting behavior were noted, SCP 6599 began writing opening post instead of responses, seemingly inviting communication from others. Secondly, SCP 6599 account began posting exclusively on websites related to psychology, therapy, anger management, self-improvement, and life advice at a rate less frequent than his previous activity levels. Below is an a bridge list of examples. Website Flowers Galore, a website dedicated to advice and do-it-yourself life hacks regarding personal gardens. Flowers galore. Hog slice, August 23rd, 2020. Hello, douchebags. Some [ __ ] told me I needed to touch grass, and when I did, I really liked it. I would like to grow more grass, please. I have a few questions. Answer them or I'm going to throw [ __ ] I'm very tall. Does that scare the grass like it does people? I like the smell, but it only happens when it gets cut. Does the grass like being cut or is it a [ __ ] I want to have the most goddamn grass this side of the country. How much grass is that? I also want enough to shove up that [ __ ] who told me to touch Grass's ass. Thank you. Honk Slice website R. Self-improvement, a subreddit dedicated to self-improvement and helping others in the community grow. What I like to do, submitted 7 months ago by Hog Slice. When I get mad, sometimes I go outside and pretend I'm a chuck hog. I tear the grass up with my hands and dig a hole until I forget what I was angry at. And I have a sick hole to play in. Hog slice. How do I not break anything when I think of the mucinics commercials and that [ __ ] ball of mucus? I hate that [ __ ] He thinks he's better than me. I don't want him to win. Hog slice. I want a friend. Hog slice. I think I will get a therapist. I was watching the Sopranos. Don't know I could resonate with Italian so much. And that guy Tony and I have a lot in common. He has a therapist and she says he has anger issues. He also kicks ass and has lots of sex and I identify with that part more. But maybe I will see a therapist to help me find a friend. Hog Slice. This pattern continued uninterrupted for months. On June 11th, 2012, all SCP 6599 account cease activity and went offline. Redesation of neutralized remains pending. Addendum 6599.6. Update. On November 19th, 2014, all accounts registered to Area 179 skipnet server received the following email in their inboxes. Two. Area 179 from me. Subject: This is an update. Hello [ __ ] who tried to kill me and failed. I'm ripped. I stopped using the internet for 2 years after I realized I was kind of [ __ ] up. I went to one of those Midwest states with a lot of corn and met up with a kick-ass group of bikers. I drive a Harley-Davidson because they're nicknamed hogs. Tell that weirdo with the knife that he's cool and if he ever wants a beer, he can reach out. Hog nice. No further activity on any SCP 6599 account has been noted. and SCP 6599-1's whereabouts are currently unknown.