These DAILY HABITS Will Prime Your Brain For FOCUS & PRODUCTIVITY In 3 Days | Tom Bilyeu
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Morning routines serve as a critical defense against entropy, which naturally drives systems toward chaos; therefore, establishing a structured daily habit is essential to maintain momentum and focus from the moment one wakes up. Tom Bilyeu emphasizes that this routine must begin the night before with adequate sleep to optimize cognition, followed by physical exercise or meditation to lower stress levels often referred to as "background radiation." He advocates for identifying and executing the "lead domino"—the single most important task of the day—before addressing secondary items on a pre-written list. This approach prevents distractions from controlling one's schedule; Bilyeu argues that responding immediately to texts or emails allows others to dictate your time, whereas focusing solely on ranked priorities ensures you are working toward goals only you can achieve effectively. Nutrition plays an equally vital role in sustaining energy and focus, with a primary strategy centered on consuming whole foods whenever possible while strictly avoiding added sugars. Bilyeu notes that individual responses vary based on heredity and microbiome composition, suggesting the use of continuous glucose monitors to test personal reactions to fruits versus vegetables. His specific regimen involves intermittent fasting, averaging about 17 and a half hours between meals during weekdays by finishing dinner early in the afternoon, alongside a diet rich in red meat, eggs, green leafy vegetables like bok choy and kale, and extra virgin olive oil. He also highlights that eliminating artificially sweetened beverages significantly reduced his anxiety levels, reinforcing the idea that dietary choices directly impact physiological performance and longevity. To maximize cognitive function, Bilyeu integrates physical fitness, meditation, and environmental optimization into his daily life despite admitting a personal dislike for working out. Exercise increases blood flow to produce Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF), which acts as "Miracle-Gro" for the brain, enhancing memory and clearing mental fog. Meditation is described not just as relaxation but as a biological tool to reset the nervous system from sympathetic fight-or-flight states back to parasympathetic calmness; he recommends focusing on the breath cycle until anxiety reaches zero. Furthermore, he suggests minimizing distractions by facing away from windows or other visual stimuli and disabling all digital alerts, ensuring that one's environment supports deep work rather than constant interruption. The foundation of sustained productivity lies in building a strong "why" attached to one's goals, which provides the emotional resilience needed to endure boredom and difficulty. Bilyeu explains that people often fail because they lack meaning behind their pursuits or prematurely optimize by chasing too many opportunities instead of closing 99% of doors to focus on what truly excites them. He encourages individuals to find a pursuit where engagement generates more energy than it consumes, creating a virtuous cycle of improvement and service to others. This mindset shifts self-esteem away from fragile traits like being "right" or "smart" toward the willingness to assess progress honestly and admit when one is in a rut without beating oneself up. Ultimately, fulfillment comes not from wealth, fame, or avoiding pain, but from working hard to master skills that serve both personal growth and others' needs. Bilyeu asserts that nature has hardwired humans to feel good only when they are gaining unique skills that allow them to contribute to their group; failing to do so results in a profound sense of dis-ease regardless of how comfortable or entertained one feels otherwise. He concludes that there is no true retirement if the goal is fulfillment, as progress remains essential for mental and physical health. By aligning daily actions with deep personal purpose and adhering to bright-line rules regarding sleep, diet, exercise, and focus, individuals can overcome their average nature and achieve extraordinary results in a world defined by constant change.
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Morning routines are one of the most
important things that you can create in
your life. And the reason is when you
start the day, if you get early momentum
going, the rest of the day is often
going to follow in that. It's an idea
called entropy. Everything moves towards
chaos. And the only way to combat that
is to put energy into the system. You
are not going to wake up and randomly
have a good day. You're going to have to
structure your day in a way that sets
you up to overcome all of the entropy,
all of that chaos, all of the thousand
things going to come at you in uh on a
daily basis that are going to knock you
off course. And the easiest way to do
that is to have a routine that you
follow every morning so you don't have
to think about it. You don't have to
reinvent the wheel. You don't have to
wonder or think about what you should be
doing. It's just right there. It is
baked into the routine. So, by doing
that, now you can actually accomplish
the most important things first. So, the
thing to doing your morning routine well
is to optimize for what Tim Ferriss
refers to as the lead domino. What's the
thing that if I did this, it's going to
make everything else easier down the
road. So, number one, a morning routine
actually starts the night before. You
want to get plenty of sleep. Why?
Because that's going to optimize your
your cognition. The next thing you want
to do is either meditate or work out.
Typically, I will work out first. The
reason that I work out is because it
optimizes your cognition. So, that
everything else is going to get easier.
It also dramatically impacts your energy
levels. Talk about two things that are
incredible lead dominoes. If I'm getting
sleep and optimizing my cognition, if
I'm working out and optimizing my
cognition, and I'm making sure that I
have the energy levels that I need to
get things done, now I'm really making
sure that everything that I do after
that is easier. The next thing that I do
is meditate. Why? Because it optimizes
your cognition. You want to make sure
that you're getting all of your
background radiation, the stress, the
anxiety. You want to get that as close
to zero as you can. That way, you can
think clearly. You get into what I call
a calm and creative state so that areas
of your brain that don't often
communicate or able to communicate, get
better ideas that way. Again, lead
domino, improving your cognition,
lowering your stress levels, making sure
that you're centered and that you've got
that energy to move forward. Then, I'm
going to go down my list of important
things. I make that list the day before,
so I know exactly what I should be doing
at any one time. And again, it's a lead
domino strategy. What the first thing
that I'm going to do is going to be the
thing that makes everything else on my
list easier. I'm going to do everything
that I can do on the most important
thing. way, they should always be rank
ordered. There is no such thing as a
tie. There is a number one, a number
two, a number three, a number four, so
on and so forth. There is not two number
ones. There's not two number twos. There
is a one, two, three, four, five, so on
and so forth. I do everything that I can
do on number one.
Once that's now where I'm waiting for
something else or, you know, I just have
to let it bake, whatever, then I'm going
to move on to number two. I'm going to
do everything I can on number two. Then,
I'm going to move on to number three.
You set your day up like that and you're
not checking your phone and you're not
responding to other people because
that's letting them control your
schedule. And what are the odds that
somebody other than you knows better
what you should be doing to make your
goals come true than you. The answer
should be zero because if somebody else
knows better than you, we already have a
problem. It means that somebody else is
paying more attention to your own life
than you are. That would be problematic.
Get that morning routine down, get that
momentum going, do the lead domino
strategy, make sure you're optimizing
for energy and cognition. Absolutely
critical. Your diet is one of the most
important things that you can do to
boost your energy, your focus, and your
productivity. What you should be eating
varies wildly and I will just tell you
right now that while I'm going to give
you a very simple thing that you can
follow and it's going to take care of
80% of all of your desires and problems,
know that there is massive
variability at the individual level and
that you should be testing a lot of
different things to find out what is
right for you. So, what I'm about to lay
out is the sort of generic strategy that
I think everybody should try. But
getting into the nitty-gritty is going
to require you to do a lot of testing.
There is no way around this. I wish that
dieting was more simplistic, but based
on your lifestyle, based on your
heredity, based on your microbiome, all
of this stuff is going to dramatic to
dramatically vary. So, be very
thoughtful. Make sure you run
experimentation. Having said that, what
are the things that I think are
universal? Number one, you want to be
eating whole food whenever humanly
possible. So, you want to eat food that
is recognizable from what it was in
nature. So, a piece of meat should look
like a piece of meat. It shouldn't be
highly processed. Your vegetables should
look like vegetables. I mean, you should
be brushing dirt off of them. That kind
of recognizable from nature. Nuts should
be
I mean, ideally raw. I'll be really
honest, I do sometimes eat uh roasted
nuts, but if I'm honest, that's worse
than if you're just eating them raw. So,
you want things that are as close to um
their natural state as humanly possible.
The less that they have been messed
with, manufactured, altered in any way,
the better off you're going to be. I
will say that heat is something that I
apply to virtually all of my food. There
are some really interesting theories
about from an evolutionary standpoint
that cooking is one of the things that
allowed us to grow the big brain because
by cooking it, you not only soften the
food and make it easier to chew, but you
also release some of the nutrients. It's
beyond the scope of uh this to get into
that, but when I say raw, I don't mean
that everything needs to be uncooked. I
just mean the less processed, the
better. Things that I eat every day. I
eat a lot of eggs, red meat. I eat some
chicken, a bit of pork, but I'm eating a
fair amount of meat. So, I get a good
portion of my calories from that. Again,
individual variability. If you're doing
a vegan thing, word, I'm totally about
it. Test for the individual response
that you get. I find that the more
plant-forward I go, there's like a
breaking point where I start feeling
worse. Could be me, could be me doing it
poorly. But as long as you're doing
whole food, I think you're on the money.
So, eating whole food and making sure
that you're avoiding sugar, that is like
the big thing. So, I don't think that
you can eat fruit with impunity. Think
you have to be very thoughtful about
that. If you're unsure of what fruit is
going to impact you and how, I highly
recommend getting a continuous glucose
monitor. That will allow you to eat
fruit if you want and see what kind of
glycemic response you have. For
instance, I find that I can make certain
fruit smoothies, and if I eat it slowly
enough, my uh glycemic response will go
up to about 120. I prefer to keep it in
the 80s, but hey, if it goes up to 120
and it's sort of even and it comes back
down, I don't consider that too
problematic. But, if I eat it really
quickly and it spikes up to say 140,
150, that to me is problematic and I
don't want to be that high. So, you can
play with things, also what you put in
the smoothie, etc. If you're going to
eat fruit and vegetables, make sure that
you separate fruit and vegetables. Keep
those two things distinct. I think you
will find by wearing a continuous
glucose monitor that you're going to
have a dramatically different response
to most fruit than you will to
vegetables. Again, there's a lot of
variability here, so the more that you
test on yourself the better. But, that's
really the the sort of generic response.
If you're our generic setup that I think
everybody should try. Whole food
whenever humanly possible, avoid sugar.
Keeping your blood glucose below 100, I
highly recommend it. For me, I try to
keep my glucose in this the 80-ish
range. That's sort of my default. I also
do intermittent fasting. I think that
that is very effective. Getting into
things like autophagy is beyond the
scope of what we're talking about right
now, but even that I think it's going to
be huge. Body composition is greatly
affected by intermittent fasting. Again,
individual variability, make sure that
you experiment with this stuff for
yourself. I do, when you average it out,
I think I went about 18 months where I
was tracking every day. My average over
that extended period of time was 17 and
1/2 hours. So, on the weekends it's it's
shorter, but on the weekdays, sometimes
it's longer. Sometimes it's 19, 20, 21,
22 hours that I'll go uh between meals.
But again, over a very extended period
of time, it averages out to 17 and 1/2
hours of not eating. Now, the way that I
do that, I have my last meal around
1:15, definitely done chewing by 2:00
p.m., and then I don't eat again until
the next day at around 9:00, 9:30,
somewhere around in there. Shorter on
the weekends, longer during the week,
and it it balances out. I'm having
everything from uh green leafy
vegetables like uh bok choy, uh collard
greens, kale, broccoli,
um
to carrot, jicama. Um I do occasionally
have some sweet potato. You got to be a
little thoughtful about that one. Watch
your glycemic load. That definitely
spikes me more than green leafy
vegetables, but those are the mix that I
use. Again, I'm eating whole foods.
Virtually all of my calories come from
whole food uh during the week, in fact.
I'd say 95% of my calories come from
whole foods. It's very rare that I
deviate from that. But doing that allows
me to have tremendous focus, a lot of
energy, get the most out of my workouts,
maintain my body composition, keep my
fat low, keep my glycemic uh spikes low,
so I'm not getting, you know, blood
sugar spikes, which helps me maintain my
energy through the day. And also, just
from a longevity standpoint, I think
that's a great idea. I will say, go look
at David Sinclair. He's got some pretty
compelling information around the fact
that meat may not be great for
longevity. So, while it makes me feel
awesome, it's something called mTOR. So,
be thoughtful as you get into the
complex weeds of this stuff. Nutrition
is a very big, complex topic. Again, the
only things that I consider universals
are whole food and reducing sugar.
Universals. Close to a universal would
be intermittent fasting, though some
people can have differing responses to
that. So, be thoughtful as you
experiment with this stuff. But if you
do that, like I said, 80 plus percent of
your problems are going to go away.
That's a nice low inflammation diet, and
keeping your inflammation low is
incredibly important. The way that I
found to stay focused, be productive,
and not get distracted is one, by
auditing my time, so that I know, one,
what I'm supposed to be working on, and
then two, that at the end of any task,
I'm going to reflect back on how long it
took me, how much time did I spend on
task, and also, I have rules. Like if
I'm working on something, I don't take
out my phone. I don't look at it, no
matter what. I have no alerts on my
computer, no alerts on my phone. If
somebody's calling, I would never know.
If somebody has text me, I would never
know. I don't have anything that pops up
on my computer. You want to eliminate
distractions. I don't even work facing a
window. I will go into a room, and I
will intentionally face myself away from
a window. There was one period of my
life, and the only reason I stopped
doing this is cuz I think it's really
important to get daylight in your eyes,
but I was putting myself in a dark room,
and literally with a stand-up desk was
the only thing between me and a wall.
So, even though I was in a nice, uh,
expansive, beautiful room, I was putting
myself facing the wall, so that there
was nothing for me to even look at. That
I want to be working on the thing that
I'm trying to accomplish. And the other
thing is that's hugely important is to
make sure that you care about what
you're working on. The number of people
that don't give a about what
they're doing with their life is
terrifying, and when you don't care
about what you're working on, there's no
meaning or purpose behind the thing that
you're trying to do, then of course,
it's going to be harder to stay on
track. Of course, you're going to be
looking for that dopamine hit from your
phone, from that email, because working
on the thing that you're working on
doesn't give you the dopamine hit.
Making sure that you're pursuing things
that you care about, that's a huge part
of it. So, caring about what you do,
making sure that you're optimizing your
environment to minimize distractions,
and then having rules about things like
not checking your phone, not letting
yourself wander off. Like for instance,
I won't even let myself go get a drink
of water until I've accomplished a
certain thing that I'm trying to do. And
I will find myself taking like that
first step to go get a drink of water.
You're on autopilot, you need some drip
of dopamine when you're working on
something that's boring or difficult.
But then the rule kicks in and I remind
myself, ah yes, I'm going to finish this
thing and then I make sure that I reward
myself for doing that hard work. So when
you're doing hard work in service of
something that you really believe in,
that you're really emotionally connected
to your why, now all of a sudden with
some rules put in place it becomes easy
to stay there and get your stuff done.
Then on top of that, I know when to give
a break, to go get a drink of water or
something like that, to get up, to walk
around. All of that stuff is incredibly
important to make sure that you're able
to stay on task. A big thing, maybe the
biggest of all, is personal standards.
You got to have standards. I see people
accept the lamest from themselves and
they let themselves get away with not
being productive, wasting an entire day
before they call themselves out. Or
worse, staying at a job that they don't
care about, doing something that doesn't
mean anything to them just to collect a
paycheck. And I get how people would be
unable to stick with something, but let
me promise you, your life will pass you
by in an instant. Not only is tomorrow
not guaranteed, tonight isn't
guaranteed. So if you're not working at
something that you really care about,
that means something to you, your life
is going to pass you by. Make sure
you're focused on things you care about,
you're eliminating distractions, and
you're rewarding yourself when you crush
it. Then just make sure you audit your
time, you should be ready to rock. If
you fall into a rut and you want to get
out of it, the first thing that you have
to do is be honest with yourself that
you're in a rut. So often I see people
not wanting to admit that things are not
going the way that they want them to go,
whether it's because they're trying to
keep up with the Joneses or they have
low self-esteem and they're really
struggling and so they're trying to tell
themselves a story that isn't true
because they're building their
self-esteem around being right, being
good, being talented, whatever, all of
those fragile things, and so they're not
willing to stop, take a good hard look
at whether or not they're making the
kind of progress that they want to make.
Now, my advice is to switch what you
build your self-esteem around, so that
you're building your self-esteem around
not being right or smart or good, that
you're building your self-esteem around
the very willingness to look at whether
or not you're making progress, recognize
that you're not making progress, and
make a change and get moving again. But,
that's the key to really be honest with
yourself, to audit that time, to make
sure that you really are making
progress, and to not be angry, upset, or
diminish your sense of self because
you're in a rut, but instead be proud of
yourself for really being willing to
assess, where am I at? What am I trying
to accomplish? Am I actually making
progress? And that willingness to stare
nakedly at your inadequacies, to really
be honest about whether you're making
progress, to be honest about whether
you're um improving enough at something,
to be honest about whether you're
working hard enough at something. All of
those things are incredibly important,
but you'll never be honest with yourself
if in recognizing that you're
underperforming, if you just beat
yourself up. You want to recognize
you're underperforming and be proud of
yourself for recognizing that you're
underperforming and being willing to do
something about it. If you build your
self-esteem around that, now you have
that self-reinforcing engine that you're
going to need to get moving again. But,
first it starts with acknowledging the
problem. Being pristine on prepping for
bed, I think is incredibly important.
Getting good quality sleep is critical.
So, there are several things that I do.
Number one, I wear myself out during the
day. I'm going all in on the things I'm
trying to accomplish. So, man, at the
end of the day, I feel like I've earned
my sleep. And that idea of earning your
sleep, the idea of earning your days
off, of earning a vacation, is something
that is incredibly rewarding. Remember,
we're only pursuing things that we care
about, that mean something to us, that
we have the strong why, the strong
attachment to not only us, but the
people that we're trying to help, but
then going all out for it. So, that by
the end of the day, I've worked out,
I've eaten right, I've been disciplined,
I've worked my ass off, I stayed
focused, I pushed myself, I've avoided
distractions, I've left everything out
on the field trying to move myself
forward, going down my important things
list, taking things one at a time,
really pushing the ball forward, not
just chasing dopamine, but actually
trying to do something. So, by the time
I get to bed, I am worn out. The next
thing I do is starting about 3 hours
before bed, so for me cuz I go to bed at
9:00 like it's a religion, I'm putting
blue blocking glasses on at 6:00 p.m.
You want to make sure that you're not
even around very bright light, so I
start dimming the lights towards the
evening time. Not exposing blue light
into my eyes really helps with circadian
rhythm. In the morning, I try to get
outside and actually get direct sunlight
into my eyes. That does not mean staring
at the sun, just means looking up at the
sky, being outside, letting all of that
natural light get on your skin, get in
your eyes. It's going to be a huge part
of setting that circadian rhythm. For
about I stop checking my text messages
usually about 2 hours before I go to
bed. The reason is that the most
stressful things in my life come in via
text message, so I know better, so I try
to stop that 2 hours before, definitely
an hour before, because it's going to
take me time to sort of recalibrate my
mind. One thing I'm always telling
people is the reason that I'm able to
work as much as I work, to endure as
much stress as I endure, is I'm very
good at compartmentalizing. When I have
something stressful, I take it and sort
of coat it in the things that I'm going
to do to deal with that, because action
cures all. So, earlier in the day, if I
get something really stressful, if I can
get the ball rolling, then all is well.
I get things going, I know that that
problem's going to be be
my brain goes, "Ah, we're in action
mode, All is well. I can deal with
this." As we get later in the night, I'm
not going to be able to do the things
that I need to do to get it moving,
which means that my brain is going to
worry on it all night. So, I've got to
do something to compartmentalize that,
to figure out what my strategy is going
to be, and then I put that thing away.
Now, that takes some time, so I'd rather
not encounter that an hour before I go
to bed, right? So, like I said, about 2
hours before I go to bed, I'm going to
stop looking at my text messages. So,
I'm going to keep working. I'm going to
execute on the things that I'm working
on, but I'm going to try to
compartmentalize that so that I'm not
introducing new things that I have to
come up with a new strategy for. The
next thing is about an hour before bed,
I now only work on things that I find
fun. So, that that's moving my brain
into like, "Oh, this isn't stressful.
This is actually enjoyable. This is
fun." So, I do a lot of my research for
episodes that I'm going to be filming at
night because I love it. That's one of
the most fun things about my job is
getting to learn something new. So, I
can do research right up until the
moment that I go to bed. So, that's
something that I'll save for that time.
If I don't have an episode coming up and
I want to keep working, then again, I'm
going to focus on something that I find
enjoyable, which for me often means that
I'm working on storytelling or something
along those lines because it's really,
really pleasurable. And then, about a
half an hour before I go to bed, uh I'll
be listening to something, but I just
start my night routine. I'm going to be
brushing my teeth in sort of a
meditative fashion, really relaxing. I'm
not listening to anything that's going
to be stressful, doing things that are
chill. If I've had a really stressful
day, I might even sit down and meditate
for the last 15 or 20 minutes before I
go to bed. And then, when I am actually
going to bed, I go into storytelling
mode. So, the great news is for me, that
actually works for work as well, but I'm
putting in headphones. Uh I might start
listening to an actual book if I don't
have a story that I'm trying to work on.
I start listening to a book, a fiction
book, puts my brain in a different
space, and if I've worked right up until
the moment I go to bed, at that point I
will still put a fiction book on right
as I'm going to sleep, and I have
learned an incredible technique that
allows me to deal with stress. I'm not
necessarily suggesting that people push
themselves this far. If you find
yourself at night having a hard time
falling asleep, this works unbelievably
well. I don't have a trick that works
better than this. This This is the
closest thing to magic that you're going
to get. I put my AirPods in. I put on a
fiction book, a book that doesn't have
murder or anything like that cuz I don't
want to hear screaming and yelling. I
made that mistake, so I've run that
test. It does not work well. I will put
a book on. It's usually sci-fi, a great
narrator, and I turn the volume down so
I can just barely make out what they're
saying. Just a little bit of pressure to
my ear in order to clearly hear what
they're saying. And then I apply that
pressure, and I leave the book running.
I don't put a timer. I let it go, and
then I fall asleep, and then the
pressure comes off my ear, and now
I can no longer make out what they're
saying. So, as I'm drifting off to
sleep, I lose the words that are being
said, but my brain has gone out of
problem-solving mode into story mode,
narrative mode. I'm able to relax and
fall asleep all by listening to that
story. I forget about the things that
are stressing me in the day. Then if I
wake up in the middle of the night, I
will swap out my headphones so that the
battery doesn't die cuz that little
beeping noise telling you that you have
low battery will wake me up. Again,
learned that the hard way. Uh and then
again, it's just as I'm trying to fall
back asleep, I put a little pressure on
my ear so I can hear it, and then uh the
story takes me back into dreamland, and
I sleep. I went through a phase where I
was really struggling to sleep. Man, I
tried everything, and finally figuring
that system out works like a charm. I
use 1.4x. Everybody knows I like to
listen to things at 3x, but I can't do
that if I'm trying to fall asleep. I
found the perfect rate where my brain
doesn't have to struggle to listen, but
the words are coming in fast enough that
the pauses don't irritate me. Put it in
pressure, good story, good narrator,
boom, I'm off to sleep. If you do all of
those sleep hygiene things,
you ought to sleep like a baby. Oh, and
keep the room cool. Get a chili pad if
you don't have AC.
They're not the cheapest thing in the
world, but they are worth every penny.
Making sure that your room is cool or
that you are cool on a chili pad makes a
huge difference. So, make sure that you
do that. And then get your room as dark
as possible when you're sleeping.
Personally, I know this is going to
freak some people out. I sleep with the
blankets up over my head to ensure
complete darkness. Uh so, my wife and I
don't share blankets, which is another
thing that I recommend, which everybody
thinks that I'm crazy. I forget now uh
that that's even a thing cuz I told my
wife from the jump uh we're never going
to share blankets. Hope you're okay with
that. Forever we have slept with
separate blankets. That way I can wrap
myself up in mine. I never have to worry
about her stealing them or me stealing
them from her. And all of those things
allow me to sleep like a baby night
after night even in the middle of
stress. Won't say that it never happens
where I'm so stressed that I wake up.
It's pretty rare because of all the
things that I do for sleep hygiene. If
you're not going in the right direction
in your life and you want an action plan
that you can use, you can just try it
for the next 7 days. It's going to
change everything in your life. It goes
like this. Follow the morning routine
plan that I laid out before. Plenty of
sleep, perfect sleep, getting up,
working out, meditating, intermittent
fasting, important things, absolutely
critical, getting your diet right. The
number of people that are in pain that
don't realize that they have brain fog,
that don't realize that there's just a
general sense of suck in their life
because of their diet. Once you clean
that up, get that right, get your
inflammation down, get your stress and
anxiety down, which is also majorly
impacted by your diet. Getting your
sleep right, your energy levels are
going to feel awesome because your
diet's there, because your sleep is
there. Meditation changing the game. So,
you're going to do all of the things
that I talked about in that morning
routine. And then the next thing that I
will add to that, human connection.
Find a loving relationship and put time
into it. Find a loving relationship and
put time into it. Even though I have a
rule, Monday through Friday, if I'm
awake, I'm either working or working
out. But you will note, I'm involved in
storytelling, so I'm around things like
anime and manga and I'm talking about
stories. I'm interviewing incredible
people, so my job, even though it's
hard, even though it's a lot of hours,
it's doing things that I love and care
about in service of people that I'm
trying to help. 92% of people that set a
New Year's goal fail to achieve it,
which is why I've created a 90-day
challenge designed specifically to
ensure that you hit your goals. You
really can radically transform yourself.
Just click the link below to join me and
the entire Impact Theory University
community to kick off 2023 right with
the Impact 90 Challenge. Right, guys,
now back to the episode.
And
I'm doing it with my wife, my best
friend, the person that I care most
about in the world. Everything that
you're striving for, everything that
you're trying to do and accomplish, if
you don't have people that you love and
care about and that you're spending time
with, it's all for naught. We are a
social creature. So, optimize your
sleep, optimize your diet, optimize your
exercise, and all of that is going to
take care of your cognition and your
energy levels and your general feeling
of well-being, which comes largely from
your diet, exercise, and sleep, and
love. And if you're doing all of that in
a package and the thing that you're
working towards really matters to you
and to the world,
it's about as good as it gets. Yes, a
negative mindset is going to have an
overall impact on your mental health.
So, anxiety is the easiest one to talk
about because I've experienced it, but I
think depression is also going to be um
hugely affected by what you allow
yourself to repeat. So, one core
mechanism of the brain is to understand
that while we are a very active species
that's meant to go out and explore and
master our environment, there's a
secondary evolutionary force pushing on
us, which is that we also want to
conserve calories to make sure that we
survive
a famine. So, we have this dual
competing thing of wanting to go out and
do cool hence the big dreams and wanting
to sit on the couch and eat a bag of
potato chips. Hence why we
procrastinate, why we feel lazy, and the
way that the brain as a physiological
organ has dealt with this dual impulse
challenge over evolutionary time frames
is that it's a process called
myelination. And what that does is it's
wrapping fatty tissue around neurons
that fire together at the same time
frequently. So, this is why they say
neurons that fire together wire
together. They are literally getting
optimized for the efficient transmission
of the signals across those synaptic
gaps. And the reason that they do this
is that it becomes easier from a caloric
perspective to do those things. So, now
you've made whatever you repeat, whether
it's something empowering or
disempowering, whether it's something
that makes you anxious or feel like you
can do anything, it's going to make
thinking those thoughts and feeling
those feelings easier from a caloric
perspective. It also begins to move it
into what's called the default mode
network. So, the default mode network is
responsible for
anything that we'll call automatic
thinking. If you've done something a
bazillion times, you don't think about
brushing your teeth, you just brush your
teeth. You don't think about driving to
work often times, certainly before the
pandemic, you just drive to work. And
there were times where you would show up
at work and be like, "Whoa, I almost
don't remember the journey getting
here." And the reason is that what ends
up happening is your cognition can be
put on to basically something else. So,
you're thinking through daydreaming,
whatever, and the thing that you do in a
repetitive way is just happening
automatically, super efficiently. And
it's a thing that happens to the brain
where you can scan somebody and go, "Up,
they're in the default mode network
right now." And if worry, anxiety,
panic, fear, stress, if that's what
you're doing all the time, then that's
what's going to be moved over, made
calorically easier to do, uh moved into
the default mode network. So, that by
default, that's where you go. And this
is where most people spend the majority
of their lives is living in that default
mode network of these emotions that
they've created these very well-worn
paths to looping around over and over to
feeling those feelings over and over.
And so, you can understand since the
body responds to your
the mental states that you're constantly
in, that each of those mental states is
characterized by hormonal and
neurochemical states, and the body will
have different long-term consequences
based on what you're feeling. So, for
instance, if you are constantly stressed
or
constantly anxious, your cortisol levels
are extraordinarily high. Cortisol
levels begin to damage the um
the elasticity of your blood vessels.
It's one of the vectors of attack on
your body. And so, you don't want to
stay in these chronically elevated
levels because it deteriorates the um
integrity of the lining of your blood
vessels. And this is the kind of thing
that leads to stroke or coronary heart
disease. So, being incredibly thoughtful
not to loop on those things, which
doesn't mean that there aren't bad
things going on in your life, but it
does mean that when you allow yourself
to loop loop loop, that there is this
hormonal and chemical cascade as a
response to that that your body will
have negative consequences to or
positive consequences if you're in a
loving, calm state a lot, and that's the
thing that becomes the default mode
network. That becomes the easiest thing
for you to think and you're in this
really calm and creative state a lot of
times,
uh then you're going to prolong your
life. Um so, I I hesitate only to say
that because of course there are other
extenuating circumstances like if your
diet is terrible, uh but you're in that
calm and creative state a lot, I think
you're still going to run into issues.
And quite honestly, if your diet is
messed up, then the odds of you being
able to stay in that calm and creative
state are very, very low because of the
communication that happens between your
brain and your gut. Getting into
dysbiosis is a whole 'nother thing, but
anyway, you want to be very careful the
things that you allow yourself to think.
Now, how do you train yourself to get
out of that
get out of a negative default mode
network and into a positive default mode
network. So, one is something called
pattern interrupting. This comes from
cognitive behavioral therapy. Uh it's
extraordinarily useful and I highly
encourage you guys to get very deft at
this. And this is simply not allowing
yourself to think certain thoughts. And
every time you catch yourself doing it
to pattern interrupt and you remind
yourself you don't do that. So, for
instance, one of the reasons that I
don't get overwhelmed is because I don't
allow myself to be overwhelmed. That
doesn't mean that I can carry an
infinite load. What it means is every
time I can feel that escalation, I can
feel like, "Oh my god, this is
overwhelming." I say to myself, "Ah,
you don't do overwhelm."
And saying that thought interrupts that
pattern and breaks me out of it, brings
my conscious control back in, right?
Victor Frankl, between stimulus and
response there is a gap. We want to mind
that gap. We want to get in there,
insert something like the statement, "I
don't do overwhelm." Which then puts me
back into conscious control and I decide
what I want to insert in terms of the
emotion that I want to feel, which of
course is more calm, more relaxed, able
to handle more things.
Now, I also remind myself that doing
less is always an option. So, if there's
just too many things happening at once,
99 times out of 100, even if I'm really
in something busy and there's a lot
happening, if I feel overwhelmed coming
on, boom, pattern interrupt. I don't do
overwhelm, and then I'm going to sit
down, I'm going to deep breathe from my
belly,
and I'm going to slow things down.
And I'm going to let that stuff go,
and that's exactly how I'm actually able
to end up doing more, because I don't
let that become a runaway process.
I pattern interrupt it. I breathe from
my diaphragm. I slow down. It doesn't
take long to reset,
to get yourself focused, and then
typically what I'll do at that point is
shift back into an aggressive mental and
emotional posture, which then helps me
push through anything that might
potentially feel overwhelming.
And that is the training. So, you're
doing that pattern interrupt. You're
doing the physiological things that you
need to do to shift your state. And
then, you're inserting yourself back
into that gap, and you do that over and
over and over and over, never wasting
time being angry with yourself that you
start to feel overwhelmed, but instead
being proud of yourself that you do the
pattern interrupt, that you slow things
down.
And when you reinforce that behavior,
that's what begins to wire together. And
now, over time, it becomes this very
easy loop that happens automatically.
You don't even think about it. When you
start to feel that sense of overwhelm,
you don't get lost in the overwhelm.
Boom, you stop, slow down, breathe,
insert the aggression. In this case, I'm
just giving you an example from how I
deal with it, but whatever you're going
to do to deal with it.
I do something exactly uh similar to
that for anxiety. I start to feel the
anxiety build up. I'm not going to allow
that to become this runaway process. I'm
going to slow down. It happens again
that I'm going to breathe from my
diaphragm.
I'm going to relax. I'm going to close
my eyes. I'm going to start some sort of
visualization of things going well
instead of going wrong. You only get
anxious
when you imagine things going wrong. So
now I'm going to force myself to imagine
them going well.
I'm going to breathe from my diaphragm
doing the physiological work of making
sure I'm shifting state. And just do
that over and over and over.
Do you know what the best way would be
to accelerate the electrical neural
connections in my brain so I can learn
faster, change habits, and improve
exponentially in my life working with
the neuroplasticity that you know so
well. Thank you. Okay, so this is a game
of repetition and understanding that for
the reasons that I just outlaid in the
previous question, it just comes down to
what you repeat. Whatever you repeat,
then you're going to get better at that
thing. Better meaning more efficient
from a brain wiring standpoint. It gets
easier to do. And so as you think about
trying to learn faster, a lot of this is
going to be practice learning. You're
going to be learning as much as you can.
And one, you're going to lay down those
neural pathways, but two, and maybe more
importantly, is you are going to learn
tips and tricks along the way that will
optimize for exactly you. So I'm giving
you all the things that work for me. I
think it'll probably work 80 to 85%
exactly the same for you, but there's
that 15% that's going to be optimized
just for you. Where you're like, "You
know what? That thing, like I'll give
you an example from my own life, box
breathing."
So to meditate,
people will typically tell you to
breathe in four equal parts. I found
that that didn't work for me. So I found
by optimizing for the pleasure cycle of
those four parts of the breath cycle
that it worked perfectly. So it was like
85% of it was just sitting down,
meditating, understanding how to come
back to the thought, understanding how
to breathe from my diaphragm. All that,
that was by far all of the heavy
lifting. But then that little tweak at
the end made a big difference. And so,
by practicing learning, by repeating
learning, by doing it over and over, by
finding out do you do better when you're
reading a physical book? Do you do
better when you're listening to audio?
Do you do better on YouTube videos? Do
you do better on audiobooks? Do you do
better when you can take physical notes?
Do you do better notes handwritten or
typed? All of these things. So, it's
it's all the same stuff, but there are
going to be little nuances that are
different for you. And so, getting in
there and doing them over and over and
over, that's going to be the key to
learning faster, increasing the speed,
and then just overall getting better at
that by doing those things over and over
and over so that you get the hardwiring
that you're looking for.
Next. Is it possible to train your brain
to control dopamine addiction,
especially with things like YouTube,
games, and NFTs that are so
all-consuming and addictive? How can you
redirect your brain to focus on your
goals? All right, let's talk about time
management. So, I am very grateful that
while I have a very obsessive
personality, I don't have an addictive
personality. And what that means is that
I find it relatively straightforward to
create rules in my life.
And I highly encourage anybody to do
this, whether you have an addictive or
an obsessive personality or anything
else, to create bright lines in your
life. Rules that you simply don't
violate. That way there's no question.
Like imagine if you say something like
This is actually true from my childhood.
My mom would say, I don't remember the
exact number, but it was something like
13. We could have 13 Doritos.
So, you're eating your 13 Doritos, but
like Dorito number nine was kind of
broken. So, that doesn't really count as
a full Dorito. But then the next one
maybe only has a tiny bit of a corner
missing. So, you take that one, you're
like, well, they were both broken. And
so, you end up eating, you know, the
equivalent of more. Or maybe you lost
count, and so you don't want to cheat
yourself, of course. So, you know, at
number six, maybe you start the count
over. So, there are all these ways where
you end up in taking more than you mean
to versus saying I only eat Doritos on a
Saturday.
That way, if it isn't Saturday, I'm not
eating Doritos. And then if you find,
well, what I end up doing is on Friday
night, I stay awake until 12:01 so I can
eat Doritos, go to bed, wake up, eat
more Doritos. If that isn't the outcome
that you want, then you say, "Cool.
I don't eat Doritos until I've woken up
on a Saturday morning after, you know,
at least 7 hours of being in bed."
Whatever you need to do to make sure
that you're not getting up in the middle
of the night or only sleeping 4 hours
because you're so excited to go eat.
These are sadly all real things from my
past. And so, figuring out all of those
things and understanding how you have to
refine your rules so that you can be
very clear about what you do and what
you don't do. Once you do that, now you
can start breaking that dopamine loop
that people can get into. So, one area
that I do find that I get into it, and I
have to be really thoughtful about this,
is this weird loop around checking uh
WhatsApp, checking uh Twitter, checking
my text messages if I'm moving something
forward in the business. So, I never do
it just like in my personal life, but
there are times where I'm trying to move
something forward in my business, I need
to see what the team is doing. Some
people on the team communicate via
WhatsApp, some for text, and then on
Twitter if I'm trying to promote
something. And so, I'll get in this loop
of just like going going going going
going. And each thing leads to the next,
and, you know,
getting to sort of inbox zero on
WhatsApp triggers me to go get to inbox
zero on my text messages, triggers me to
go get to inbox zero on Twitter,
triggers me to go back to WhatsApp, to
text, and and I get in this weird crazy
loop. And so, what I do to end up
breaking that cycle, one, becoming aware
of it is hugely important in
understanding how that dopamine cycle
works. And then two, to make sure that I
put confines around it, even if I have
to set an alarm. Normally, I don't
because my day is so busy
that I've got to get on to the next
thing. But, recognizing, okay, this is
something that I'm prone to and that I
need to have a hard stop because if I
don't have a hard stop, then I know that
I'll end up in this loop and it begins
to not feel good. Like at first, it
feels like I'm making progress, I'm
pushing things forward, and then at some
point, it begins to start to feel really
uncomfortable. And like that I have a
compulsion, I have to check again, I
have to go back. And so, recognizing
that that's a thing and then instituting
rules. So, for instance, I don't care
about inbox zero. I care about moving a
project forward, I care very much about
time management, I care very much about
having my priorities in order and going
down my list of priorities. And once
that thing is no longer a priority, even
if I see that a notification comes in
and now there's a message waiting or
five messages waiting or 10 messages
waiting, I train myself that I'm not
even going to look at that.
I know that there are people waiting for
a response, I've already moved it
forward as much as makes sense given my
time allocation, given my priorities,
and therefore, I'm going to be
completely fine with that. And so, one
thing I've done is
on almost everything. It's not on
everything everything, but on almost
everything, I've turned off all visible
notifications. So, that if you were to
pick up my phone, it looks like I have
nothing waiting for me. There's nothing
in my email, nothing in my text,
nothing.
Um
but there are. But, I force it so that I
have to go in to check it. So, there
aren't these little things dripping on
my mind. So, being very careful about
doing that. And then things that are
just pure fun like games or NFTs or
something like that. Again, it's it's
knowing that I'm going to allow myself
to spend this much time. So, for
instance, having a bedtime that you
stick to is incredibly important. I'd be
lying if I said that NFTs haven't led me
beyond my bedtime a few times.
Um but, I really do try to be religious.
So, if once or twice out of the week, I
end up going say 20 minutes over my
bedtime, I'm okay with that. We'll call
that a margin of error.
Um but if it started to be a problem,
then I would put bright lines and I
would say something like, uh I cannot
stay up past my bedtime more than twice
in a 7-day period. And you do something
like that.
And again, bright lines are incredibly
effective at making sure that you don't
end up in a behavior pattern that you
don't want to be in.
All right. And then go look at Andrew
Huberman and his work on dopamine and
all the things that he's discussing. Uh
it's really powerful to understand how
dopamine works and that it isn't
actually rewarding you for getting the
thing, it's rewarding desire. So,
dopamine is the anticipatory
neurochemical that feels good. It's
exciting to want something, to pursue
something. And so, once you understand
that dopamine is actually triggering the
desire to pursue it, then you're more
likely to be able to break that pattern
cuz you realize that doing whatever
behavior, playing the games, looking at
NFTs, all of that, it's never going to
satisfy
it. You're never going to be like, "Oh,
cool. Now I've had my fill and I can go
stop." Dopamine is specifically making
you want to do more of something, to
pursue it, to go after it, to repeat
that behavior. So, be very thoughtful
about that. Next. Should you be hard on
yourself or soft on yourself? How can
you tell if someone's brain is geared
towards hearing negative affirmations or
needs negative persuasion to get things
done? Okay, so there's moving towards
and there's moving away. And once you
understand what your baseline
personality is, are you more likely to
move towards something or more likely to
move away from something? I'm a move
towards kind of person. So, the vast
majority of my life is spent moving
towards the things that excite me, call
it 80%. And then 20% of the time, I find
that moving away from something is very
powerful. And what the person asking the
question is referring to in the gym,
because I hated it so much and it was so
exhausting and felt like such a waste of
time. I had to think about protecting my
wife and that if I wasn't able to get
strong and not be able to protect my
wife that something bad might happen to
her. And so, that was a real motivation.
But, if I'm honest, as I get into the
nuance of that, it was really the thing
that I would imagine was just
ruining the person trying to get after
my wife. And so, that it was about me
winning in that scenario, being able to
dismantle them. And
even that was like a move towards it. It
was moving towards getting stronger.
But, there's no doubt that there was
some negative impulse there. But, it's
figuring out from yourself what
motivates you, what scenarios as you
imagine them walk through them push you
to do more, and then recognizing that
nature has only given us two things,
pleasure and pain. And so, the more you
can optimize them both the better. Now,
part of the optimization cycle of
pleasure is understanding that when you
think about the beautiful things, the
pleasurable things, that you want to
bring into this world, that you could
soak there. You could spend all of your
time there, and it would feel wonderful.
The negative stuff, I think is actually
higher in amplitude in its ability to
incentivize behavior,
but is corrosive. And so, um
there are video game references coming
to mind. There is a gun in Destiny 2,
and the longer you use it, the more it
overheats, and it will actually end up
damaging you as you use the gun. And so,
you have to be careful not to use it too
much because it starts taking away your
own life. So, that's negative energy all
day. So, as you are using that negative
energy, it works at first and gives you
this real boost.
Then, if you stay there too long, it
begins to become a problem, both
physiologically and just from a is it
fun living my life perspective. So, you
want to be really thoughtful. I find
that an 80/20 balance is roughly right.
Find the right balance for you. I would
be startled if it was ever more than
20%. Um but in my darkest times where I
am just exhausted and cannot bear the
thought of going on any longer,
to get that like reinvigoration,
I need only think about the people that
are waiting for me to fail. And that
gives me the juice that I need, but I
try not to spend a lot of time thinking
about that. So,
be thoughtful in your own life, but both
are powerful, and I would learn how to
wield both tools.
How do you stay up and positive when you
keep getting kicked down, things get
worse, and before you know it, uh you're
buried neck deep and completely lost as
to what to do? How do you get back to
center and beyond? Can you break down
step-by-step how to train your brain to
move past how you see yourself?
Yes, I can. So, here is how to think
about
yourself.
Number one,
recognize that you are hopelessly
average.
That way you don't have to think of
yourself as special. Because that
negative voice in your head is going to
constantly tell you that you're not
special. So, now, just admit you're
average. And given the distribution
curve, the odds of you being average are
extraordinarily high. So, you're
average. You meet what I call minimum
requirements. So, if you're asking this
question, you were smart enough to do
all of the amazing things you want to do
in your life. You may not be the best in
the world at them, but you'll be able to
do extraordinary things that are going
to dazzle yourself and other people. So,
step one, recognize that you are
average. Step two, recognize that you're
an average human. And the average human
has become the apex predator of all apex
predators because of one simple
principle. It is not the strongest of
the species that survive, nor the most
intelligent, but rather the most
adaptive to change. As the average
human, you are the most adaptive
creature the world has ever seen. So,
now, even being an average
adapter, you're going to be able to do
things that are incredible. It's what I
call the only belief that matters. The
only belief that matters is that if you
put time and energy into getting better
at something, you will get better.
The second part of this idea is that
skills have utility. So, you're putting
time and energy into gaining skills, and
those skills let you do something in the
world that other people can't do. When
you can do something in the world that
other people can't do, that the world
values, you will always be able to make
a living.
If you get good at something that the
world values, that other people can't
do, and you love it, now all of the
sudden, you're optimizing for a life
that fills you with joy. And if you're
optimizing for something that the world
values, that other people can't do, that
you love, and it serves other people as
well, you now have the magic formula for
fulfillment. And the harder you work to
gain that set of skills that serve
yourself and others, you will begin
getting feedback from the world because
they value it. And you're out there
doing something that lifts them up. So,
you're lifting them up in a way that
they recognize and value, and inevitably
they're going to thank you for doing
that thing. And that makes you feel
good, which makes you want to go get
better at that thing. And so, now you go
gain more skills in this thing that was
hard, that the world values, that you're
getting better at than other people, and
doing things other people can't do, and
elevating people in ways that other
people can't elevate them. They're
thanking you for that, and now you're in
a virtuous cycle. And so, that was the
breakthrough for me was recognizing I
did not need to believe that I was
different or special because I was
having a very hard time doing that. Life
was showing me that that just wasn't
true. That there were so many people
that were better than me. And so,
dealing with that was emotionally very
difficult in the beginning. So, that big
first step was recognizing, "Oh, I'm
just hopelessly average. But, that's
okay. I'm the hopelessly average
adaptation machine." And now it's a
question of, "What are my goals? What do
I love doing? What do I love doing even
when I'm failing? Even when it's really
difficult?" And as long as I'm doing
something that I find exciting, okay? It
has to be fun. It's got to be exciting.
And it elevates other people. Now, the
harder I work at that thing, the better
it is for everybody involved. And it
becomes this really magical thing.
Brain optimization. I am joining you
from the gym, which is my least favorite
part of brain optimization, but it's an
absolutely critical part. There are many
things that you can do to get your
cognition at the highest level possible.
And I often hear people thinking that
they can grind their way to a better
performance. And while working long
hours is certainly one of the strategies
that you can run to get ahead in life, I
will say you have to be very careful not
to spend extra hours
in a sub-optimal cognitive state. And
that's what most people do, is they
think the first thing to go is sleep.
The second thing to go is exercise. The
third thing to go is diet. Things that
we're going to be talking about today.
And the reality is that the first thing
you want to do is optimize your
cognition. So, that all of the hours
that you're spending on your chosen
pursuit are things that are done at the
highest possible level from a cognitive
standpoint. Now, nobody wishes more than
me that you did not need to pay
attention to the body, that you could
simply live this entirely cerebral life
and get everything going that way. But,
the reality is that you cannot separate
the organ of the brain from the rest of
your body. This all works in concert,
much to my dismay. So, if you want to be
thinking quickly, if you want to be
thinking clearly, if you want to be at
your best, feeling good, operating at a
high level, the reality is you must
focus on cognitively optimizing. That's
what we're going to talk about today.
One of the most important things that
you can do is to get yourself in shape.
Now,
I am not a fan of working out. In fact,
it is very fair to say that I really
don't enjoy working out. But, when I
think about getting my brain in shape,
one of the most important things you can
do is get your blood pumping. Now, I'm
also not going to lie, there are
cognitive benefits psychologically, if
nothing else, to also being strong and
looking good. None of those are going to
hurt your feelings, but the real reason
that I spend my time in the gym is that
you're sending a very particular signal
to your brain when you're working out.
And so, you increase the production of
things like BDNF,
um brain-derived neurotrophic factor, if
I remember all of the letters correctly.
But, basically, you're sending
Miracle-Gro to your brain to make sure
that you're creating the optimal
neurochemical soup that you need in
order to be performing at a high level.
It really has big impacts on memory. And
so, getting in the gym, getting your
blood pumping, getting yourself in good
shape is going to be a critical part of
getting rid of brain fog, making sure
that you're incredibly sharp, and making
sure that you're creating the growth
factors in your brain that you need to
enhance your memory. And that's going to
be a big part of it. So, I personally go
into the gym roughly five times a week.
There are definitely times where I might
miss a day, and there's some weeks where
I might add a day. But, on average, it
comes out to be about five times a week.
You can do any kind of different split
that you like, but I personally find
that weights over cardio, um is one,
it's far more pleasurable for me, and
the best workout is the one that you
will actually do. And so, I'm far more
likely to stick with a routine that is
revolving around weightlifting. Now, I
will often do the weights at a cardio
pace. So, I'm moving very quickly in the
gym from thing to thing to thing, and
not a lot of rest between periods, which
has a twofold effect. One, I'm going to
move quickly through my workout, so the
amount of time that I need is very low.
And then the other part of that is that
I'm actually getting that cardio
workout. My heart is pumping. It's a
very intense workout. And that way it
allows me to basically combine the two
things. But some people prefer to do
cardio, and certainly getting yourself
in cardio shape can be very advantageous
as well, certainly for heart health, for
your vasculature, all of that stuff is
incredibly important to maintain well.
Diet, exercise, and sleep are going to
be the magic trifecta with a little bit
of meditation thrown in. We're going to
cover all of that. But then finding, if
you're going to do that split, how much
can you mix it up? Now, I am
particularly bad about mixing up my
workouts. I'm just going to be really
honest. But
having some sort of split, so you're not
doing your full body every time, is
going to be better. So, the way that I
break it up is for me, I do a push,
pull, legs, abs split. So, it's a
three-day cycle that I rotate through.
So, I typically start with my back and
biceps, so that's going to be your pull.
And then I go to chest, shoulders,
triceps on the following day, that's
going to be your push. And then I do
legs and abs on a separate day. And
that's the basic split that I use in my
gym. I work out roughly
45 minutes, sometimes an hour, sometimes
I might be able to get out a bit faster.
Sometimes I have to get out faster if
I've got a lot going on for the day, but
that is the basic cycle. Put in the
work, you will definitely get the
results.
All right, meditation is one of the most
important things in my life. It would be
very fair to say that it changed my
life. That is for sure. It might It's a
little bit of an exaggeration to say
that it saved my life, but it certainly
saved my sanity. And I resisted doing it
for a long time, and I'm very glad that
I finally met Mark Divine who told me to
stop being ridiculous and to start
meditating, and it really was a
game-changer. So, managing your
neurochemistry is one of the single most
important things you can do, and
understanding how to shift back and
forth between the sympathetic nervous
system and the parasympathetic nervous
system. So, sympathetic is the fight or
flight response. So many of us that are
hard charging, you're going to spend so
much of your time there, and it really
does have some sort of cumulative
effect. So, that after a while, you just
feel on edge all the time, the sense of,
you know, something is wrong. You just
feel antsy, unsettled, and that can get
really unbearable in your life. And
meditation is a magical way that nature
has given us where you can reset that to
absolute zero to where you feel
completely calm and creative and
anchored. It is
truly a phenomenal gift of evolution
that simply
staying in a comfortable position, which
I'm literally sitting exactly how I sit
when I meditate. I breathe from my
diaphragm, down at your belly, and that
by bringing your thoughts back only to
the breath, back to your breath, nice
and simply, back to the breath. It's
going to wander. Your mind is going to
wander. You're not doing anything wrong
when your mind wanders. That is the
nature of the human mind. So, don't
worry that you have what they call the
monkey mind, that your mind is
constantly bouncing around to all these
thoughts, many of them negative.
Just when you realize that your mind has
wandered, come back to the breath. Now,
I use headphones when I meditate and I
play the sounds of nature. Typically, my
favorite is a thunderstorm. There's
something about hearing the rain and the
occasional crack of thunder that just
keeps bringing me back to the present
moment, right there with the sound of
that rain, the sound of that thunder,
the rhythm of my breath. And then, I
find when I maximize the pleasure of
each part of the breath cycle. So, there
are four parts to the breath cycle.
There's the inhale,
the inhale hold at the top,
the exhale,
and the exhale hold at the bottom. And
then, you just repeat that cycle over
and over and I'll do a couple cycles
here so you can see. Now, oftentimes
people will talk about making each part
of the breath cycle four equal parts. I
have found that
optimizing for the pleasure of each part
of the breath cycle is a far more useful
way for me, everybody needs to try it
for themselves, but a far more useful
way for me to get what I call that
background radiation, that anxiety, that
stress, all of that down to zero. And
so, this is what it looks like for me. I
sit cross-legged just because I find it
comfortable. You don't need to.
Whatever's comfortable for you. I put my
hands in my lap. I have found there's
something weird about touching my hands
together ever so lightly that, I don't
know if it creates like a circle of
energy, I don't know. It sounds cheesy,
but that's how it feels. And then, I
close my eyes and again, I would
normally have my headphones over my ears
listening to the sound of a thunderstorm
and then, I just start my breath. I
breathe in through my nose and out
through my mouth, but whatever feels
right for you. So, this is what it looks
like for me.
All right. Can't help but be relaxed
doing that even just right now here on
camera. And the key thing is you'll
notice that for me I hold at the top of
the inhale for a very brief period of
time. But then I hold the exhale for a
much longer period of time. And the only
reason that I do that is that it feels
better. And so finding that rhythm for
you is going to be the key. And then I
meditate for the exact amount of time
that it takes me to get completely calm
and creative so that I have no
background radiation, no sense of
stress, no sense of anxiety. Sometimes
it takes 2 minutes, sometimes it takes
45 minutes. Now it's never taken me
longer than 45 minutes even at the most
stressed out and anxious I've ever been
in my life, which is extraordinarily
stressed. Uh
it's never taken me more than 45 minutes
to get to complete equanimity.
And
that is worth its weight in gold. Now my
wife does not enjoy meditating, but she
does enjoy drawing where she gets into a
very meditative state. Now I think that
if she
let herself off the hook and stop
thinking that there's ever going to be a
time where her mind doesn't wander off
onto things and just realize that's part
of it and you just come back to the
breath and you're going to get better at
it over time, that she would get
additional benefit from traditional
meditation, but having something,
anything in your life that's meditative,
maybe it's the gym, maybe it's drawing,
maybe it's cooking. Whatever your thing
is, finding something that makes you
feel absolutely calm and creative. Find
that thing. At a biological level, it's
going to help you, and few things will
help you optimize your cognition better
than meditation. So, develop that
practice. I promise you'll reap the
rewards. The truth is, hitting your
career goals is not easy. You have to be
willing to go the extra mile to stand
out and do hard things better than
anybody else. But, there are 10 steps I
want to take you through that will 100x
your efficiency so you can crush your
goals and get back more time into your
day. You'll not only get control of your
time, you'll learn how to use that
momentum to take on your next big goal.
To help you do this, I've created a list
of the 10 most impactful things that any
high achiever needs to dominate. And you
can download it for free by clicking the
link in today's description. All right,
my friend, back to today's episode.
All right, welcome to where the battle
is won or lost. Now, all of the things
that we're talking about today are
important for cognitively optimizing,
but very few will have the deleterious
effect of failing to get your diet
right. As somebody who went through a
brief period where I could not
understand what was going on, I had
brain fog, I was tired, it literally
felt like I had lost my will to fight.
It was crazy. It was the weirdest period
of my
life as it relates to diet, that is for
sure. And
the culprit ended up being pecans. I
still can't believe that that is true,
but I know that if you're not feeling
good in life,
uh at a physiological level, the first
thing you should do is ask, "What am I
eating a lot of?" and then cut that out.
It is shocking how much your diet
impacts your cognition. So, now what I'm
showing you is basically everything that
I eat. Now, full disclosure, if I make
any error in my life, it is that I don't
eat a wide enough variety of foods. But
I'm going to be honest with you about
what I eat. So, this is my Monday
through Friday diet in its entirety with
the exception of jicama. I don't have
any jicama, but I do eat a fair amount
of that. All right. So, the vast
majority of my calories um So, I eat a
lot of meat. And the vast majority of my
calories, this is a sponsor, but they're
a sponsor because it's real. So, Lisa
and I um in trying to fix her gut needed
a good source of grass-fed and
grass-finished meats. Um so, we get our
meats almost exclusively from
ButcherBox.
Uh again, they are a sponsor, but that
is not why I eat them. Uh
I eat a lot of eggs. So, intake calories
um a fair amount from eggs. And then
between the different meat sources that
we get, I have found that consuming a
lot of vegetable matter does not sit
well with me. I'm perfectly willing to
accept that if I were to transition my
microbiome slowly over time, that it may
work. Uh but I have not found that
advantageous. But I do eat a fair amount
of green leafy vegetables. Three of my
favorites right here. You've got bok
choy. You've got um kale and collard
greens are ones that I particularly
enjoy. I also eat a lot of carrots. And
then for a snack, I'll have berries. So,
it's something very sweet. Almost always
either blueberries, raspberries,
sometimes blackberries.
Um but those are the ones that I eat.
Olive oil, extra virgin olive oil is the
um the only oil that I use. So, be very,
very thoughtful about um getting
vegetable oil. So,
vegetable oils, A, they rancify even
just sitting on the shelf. And then they
have a very low flash point or smoke
point. Um so, you can damage the fats in
cooking. I use olive oil um largely
because it has a high smoke point, so it
doesn't tend to get damaged in a normal
cooking process. Of course, if you cook
it too high or too long, it can.
Um and I probably get about, I don't
know, 60 to 65% of my calories,
um from meats and
if you throw in the eggs, maybe it goes
closer to 70, 75% of my calories.
Um
and that's all that I eat Monday through
Friday. Now, on the weekends, I eat
differently. So, on the weekends, I um
have a fair amount of sushi,
uh but it's mostly what I'll call clean
sushi. So, it's things like baked crab
hand rolls. Um so, it's basically crab,
rice, and avocado.
Um and that helps me mix things up. I'll
also get some of the things you see here
or maybe like a a beef burger. I don't
eat the bun or anything like that. It's
literally just the patty,
uh which I tend to mix with eggs or
bacon.
Um and
yeah, that's my diet. Now, in terms of
what I drink, I'm not sponsored by these
guys. Uh just so happens that I mix
cold-brewed coffee, cuz I don't like hot
liquids.
And uh again, no sponsorship or
anything, but I drink Perrier water and
I mix them together. And that's very
weird for people, but I don't like the
idea of being addicted to caffeine, so I
like to keep my caffeine intake very,
very low.
Um so, what I do is I take one of these
and I normally have an empty one and
I'll pour some from the full one into
the empty one, so that I get about a
third of the coffee, then I mix with the
water, and I continue every drink that I
take, I add more water until it reaches
a point where I can sort of just barely
taste the coffee. And the only reason I
do that is that when you don't drink
anything other than water, it gets a
little bit tedious. So, one, I like the
sparkling water, and two, I like to mix
it with the coffee just to get a little
bit of a different flavor, and the
reason that I chose coffee is I didn't
want to drink anything that humans
haven't been drinking for thousands of
years. That was the idea, and that
actually made a big difference in my
anxiety levels once I cut out all of my
um
artificially sweetened beverages. So, I
was drinking a lot of zero calorie
Monster and a lot of diet Coke, and I
miss them, and they're amazing, and to
anybody that drinks them, I get it. Um
but, I had begun to notice a tie between
having that and feeling anxious. And so,
I decided to cut it out and just see if
it would help, and it helped massively.
I'll say it probably reduced my anxiety
by about 70%, which is massive. So, um
that's been a a big win. So,
this is it. Now, on the weekends, on a
Saturday, I may have a full-blown cheat
meal. I don't do it every weekend, but I
absolutely do it when I'm in the mood.
It tends to be something like Cold Stone
ice cream, which I absolutely love.
Um so, I'm very thoughtful about how
often I do that. I'm very thoughtful
about monitoring my blood glucose
levels. Uh in fact, literally just off
camera is a new blood glucose monitor
that I'm excited to try out. Um a
continuous glucose monitor, and I think
it's really important to understand what
your average glucose level is. Like,
where are you spending the most of your
time? Um and then, another big part of
my strategy is intermittent fasting. And
so, I will intermittent fast 7 days a
week. There literally isn't a day, even
during the Christmas season, where I am
totally off the chain in terms of my
normal diet. Uh even then, I'll do
intermittent fasting. And I do that one
for cognition. It is hugely valuable to
staying sharp, to have these long
periods of time without eating. And
then, usually one to two times a year,
I'll do an extended fast. And some of
them might only be 24 hours, other times
it might be up to um 72 hours. I've done
a full 5-day fast before. That was
miserable, though, and I don't plan to
be repeating that uh unless some new
evidence comes out that really shows
that there's a huge difference between a
72-hour fast and a 5-day fast. I just
found that it was like having the flu. I
couldn't pay attention. It was just
horrible. And I'm somebody who's
keto-adapted. So, for me to really
struggle at the 5 days, like it it
negatively impacted my business, which
is something that I don't like to do.
And certainly had a negative impact on
my cognition. I find a 24-hour fast
pretty amazing. Longer than that, and I
do find that it has negative impact on
my performance.
So, I do limit that. But every day,
literally every day,
my average is probably about 17.5 hours.
So, that means there are some days that
I'm doing, call it
19 hours, and then other days in the
weekend where I'll do typically 16-ish
hours. But in the wash, it comes out to
about 17.5 when you factor it over the
course of a year.
But that intermittent fasting is
something that I do all the time, every
day. It's just a natural part of my
life. And the way that I do that is I
have my last meal around 1:15 2:00 p.m.
at the latest. And then I don't eat
again until the following morning. And
then I'll usually eat somewhere between
8:00 and 9:00. Sometimes a little
earlier, sometimes a little bit later,
depending on what I'm doing that day.
But making sure that I get that average
of 17.5 hours has been incredibly
beneficial. So, there's all kinds of
health benefits. But in terms of its
impact on body composition and
cognition, it really can't be beat.
Especially when your diet consists of
whole food. And that's the thing. Other
than the olive oil, everything that you
see here on this table
is the thing that you would see out and
about. So, the bacon looks like the
flesh of a pig as it is, and the eggs
obviously are just whole eggs. The
carrots carrots, the berries berries,
the vegetable vegetables. And so, not
eating processed food, eating whole food
where during the week, I'm going to
guess 95% of my calories, even including
a week where I cheat, 92 to 95% of my
calories are going to come from whole
food.
Uh and that's that's been a huge win in
terms of um how I feel, how I sleep, um
cognition, all of it is vastly improved
by whole food. So, that's my easy advice
to people is to eat whole food whenever
possible. And that's my diet.
All right, let's talk about the big
daddy of all things related to cognitive
optimization, and that is sleep. If I
were going to say the two most important
things that you can do to optimize your
cognition is sleep and eat right. Those
are the big ones, but sleep is the one
that will impact you the fastest. You
could mess up your diet for a day, two
days, maybe even a week before it really
starts to hammer you, but man, you miss
one night's sleep and there is a
catastrophic cascade of biological
problems that will present themselves
rapidly. So, somebody that gets, I think
it's less than 6 hours of sleep a night
shows the same kind of blood glucose
response as somebody who's pre-diabetic.
So, that gives you an idea of missing
only part of one night's sleep can have
that kind of massive cellular impact.
So, being incredibly thoughtful about
getting your sleep is super important.
Now, as somebody who loves hustle porn
and being hardcore and working an
amazing amount,
I do all of that with precious little
negative impact to my sleep. I won't say
that it never happens, especially not
since I've gotten into NFTs. It is there
has been some wobble in my perfect sleep
record, um but it's really minor. And
the reason that I do that is to me,
being tired is a unique ring of hell. I
do not understand people who are
prepared to go their entire lives
fatigued. It makes everything worse.
Your ability to enjoy your life goes
down. Your likelihood of being depressed
goes way up. Your likelihood of having
metabolic disturbances goes way up.
There There are just so many things go
wrong. And then of course, the most
traumatically impacted is your ability
to think clearly and think quickly. If
you've ever gone even one night with bad
sleep, let alone two or three nights,
you can feel yourself declining rapidly
in performance. In fact, if you take
somebody that hasn't gotten any sleep
and put them in a car, they have the
same sort of delays that somebody who's
intoxicated has. So, the impacts on
cognition cannot be overstated. So,
be very careful. If you're trying to be
at your best and really perform at an
elite level, the thing that you must do
is get sleep. So, make sure that you're
prioritizing your sleep. Now, how do we
do that? How do we get sleep done in a
high-quality way? Number one is you want
to make sure that you're sleeping in a
completely dark environment. So, no
nightlights. Hopefully, no even like
charging lights or things like that.
Now, one way I do to make myself
absolutely bulletproof, not only do I
have blackout curtains, but I sleep with
the blankets completely over my head.
Now, admittedly, it didn't start for
reasons of light pollution, but now as I
get older, I'm actually grateful that my
whole life I've had this um pattern of
sleeping with the uh blankets up over my
head, which I know for some people is a
just nightmare scenario, but for me,
it's like
I mean, if I'm honest, it's like
sleeping in a womb. It's just to be
completely encased is so wonderful and
it makes me feel so relaxed. Absolutely
incredible. Uh and then the other thing
that I do is I use white noise. And so,
to make sure that there are no little
noises that are going to wake me up in
the middle of the night, I have white
noise. Basically, it sounds like a fan,
um but from a little machine that plays
that consistent sound, and that helps me
sleep incredibly well. And then, because
my mind is so frequently in
problem-solving mode, what I've found is
that about 30 minutes before I go to
bed, I switch into narrative mode. And
so, I'm going to be reading a book. I
use Audible, but I'm going to be
listening to a book that shifts my mind
out of problem-solving mode into
narrative mode. And then, if I wake up
in the middle of the night, I keep next
to me three pairs of iPod Pros so that I
can put them in,
I listen to the book, it makes sure that
I don't go into problem-solving mode,
that I can stay there in narrative mode,
and I turn the volume down just to the
point where a little bit of pressure on
my ear is required to hear them
perfectly. And so, I'll put that bit of
pressure, listen to the story, and then
as I fall asleep, that pressure comes
off my ear,
and now I can barely hear it, and I fall
right back to sleep. Now, I will give
you the advanced tip, which is don't
pick an audio book that has a bunch of
murder in it, because then you wake up
to the narrator screaming and yelling,
and that was waking me up. So, I had to
learn the hard way that there's a
certain type of book that's a good,
engaging story, but doesn't have
narration where, you know, there's
yelling and screaming at any point in
the story.
And yeah, the last thing that I will say
about my sleep is that I go to bed at
the same time every night, which is 9:00
p.m. I treat it like a religion. I go to
bed every night at that time, sometimes
a few minutes earlier if I can convince
Lisa.
And then, the second part of that is
that I don't set an alarm. So, I haven't
set an alarm for the last, you know, 16,
17 years at this point. So, trust me,
you can do amazing, incredible things in
your life without needing to set an
alarm. I get as much sleep as I need.
Now, I don't have kids, so that is no
doubt a big part of how I'm able to
maintain that. But, the more that if you
do have kids, you can sleep closer to
their sleep rhythms to make sure that
you're getting as much sleep as you
need. And let me tell you, if I had kids
and I needed to go to bed at 7:00 p.m.,
I would go to bed at 7:00 p.m. So, I'm
going to go to bed at whatever time I
need to in order to get all the sleep
that I need. If you need 9 hours, get 9
hours. Your brain shrinks in the middle
of the night, which basically the
inflammation is going down so that the
glial system can flush everything out,
get rid of any toxins that might be
building up in the system, get rid of
the amyloid plaques, which are very
present in people that have Alzheimer's.
Probably doesn't cause Alzheimer's, but
nonetheless, lets you know that it's
doing something that we don't
necessarily want sticking around. And I
said the glial system, I think I mean
the glymphatic system. Somebody will
have to fact check me on that cuz I'm
actually not sure which, but the brain
shrinks nonetheless and allows you to
clear out that system.
Um so, being very thoughtful to get as
much sleep as you need so that you can
enjoy your life.
So that on a biological, cellular level
that you're able to run all your
processes, so that you're able to do all
the memory consolidation, all the things
that go along with the ancillary effects
to sleeping. And then, making sure that
you're able to think
as clearly, sharply, and quickly as
possible. And all of those things come
down to the quality of your sleep,
the quality of your diet,
the quality of your exercise, and your
ability to manage your psychological
life, which we can do most easily
through meditation.
So,
that in a bundle, my friends, is how you
take care of yourself cognitively to
make sure that you can deliver an elite
level of performance day after day, week
after week, month after month, year
after year. Let me tell you why so many
people procrastinate and experience
laziness.
Number one, the most important reason is
people just don't want it badly enough.
That is the hard truth that not a lot of
people want to face, but the reality is
when you're struggling to get something
done, you have a desire problem. There
is a very famous story that I think
perfectly encapsulates what you have to
harness if you really want to accomplish
something difficult. Think of somebody
drowning, being held under water, and
desperately wanting that next breath of
air as the person lets them up and being
dunked back under and held back up and
dunked back under. Every time that
they're under and they're being held
under, think about how badly you want
that next breath of air. You would claw
at their flesh. You would tear at their
eyes if you could get a hold of it. You
would flip yourself over. You would go
deeper into the water to try to push
yourself back up. You would do anything,
including kill the person that is
holding you under water to get your next
breath. When you want success that
badly, you will find a way. And when it
comes to being an entrepreneur, when it
comes to being successful, that's what I
always tell people. Success
is a game of problem solving. But you
have to really want to solve that
problem. And the only way to really want
to solve that problem is to build your
desire. So people have to understand
everything in life is a process. Love
is a process. You go on dates. I don't
believe in love at first sight. Lust,
sure. Evolution took care of that for
you. But nobody loves at first sight.
You don't know the person well enough.
You haven't done the reps. You haven't
gotten to know them. You haven't spent
the time with them. You haven't
developed love. That's why we have
dating. That's why first it's dates and
maybe not a lot of commitment. It's just
getting to know them. And then it's
like, "Whoa, we're getting a little bit
more serious." And then it's an
engagement. And then it's the wedding.
and then it's the actual life lived
together. It is a process. Love even
changes colors and textures as you go,
so that in the beginning it's a very
lustful, all-consuming, drug-like
effect. You can actually put somebody
in an fMRI machine and scan their brain,
and at the beginning, in that passionate
love phase, there is no difference on an
fMRI between somebody who is in love and
thinking of the person that they're in
love and somebody who's on cocaine.
They are identical scans.
But over time, that changes into
something more mature and I would say
more wonderful, more sustainable, more
incredible. Now, once you understand
that desire in and of itself, whether
it's for another person, whether it's
for a goal, is a process of building
desire, then you realize that you can go
through that process. You can build up
that desire. So, when you think about
that person having their head held under
water, you can build that level of
intensity in your life to want something
so badly. The only way that you're going
to do it, the only way that you're going
to escape laziness, is by attaching
meaning and purpose to that thing that
you want. You have to want it for a
reason. As Simon Sinek would say, you
have to start with why. Why do I want
this thing? And you're tapping into the
evolutionary drivers that you have
embedded in your brain that are going to
compel you to get better.
That's a huge part of this whole
process, to serve not only yourself, but
the group, and get to the point where
you can translate your potential into
usable skill set. So, when you're doing
those three things, when you're
transferring your potential, making it
usable skill set, that's allowing you to
actually make progress at something that
you care about, and serving not only
yourself, but other people, now you're
going to get into this positive feedback
loop that's like falling in love. You're
going to be building that desire because
you're getting good at something.
Progress is a foundational pillar to
human happiness. If you're progressing,
okay, this is evolution embedding
something in your brain. You have a
desire to progress, period, end of
story. If you are a human being, you
have an embedded deeply embedded
desire
to get better. You will never feel a
sense of progress, you won't feel good
about yourself. You will have a profound
sense of disease if you're not
improving. Why? Because that was
nature's way of ensuring that you went
out and did the hard things that you
would need to do to feed your family, to
keep the group intact, to protect
yourself from the devastatingly vicious
nature of nature. Nature is doing its
best to kill you at all times. Okay,
whether it's from starvation, exposure
to the elements, or being attacked by a
predator, we were at risk constantly
throughout our evolutionary past, and
all of those directives that nature had
to give us and implant deep in our
brains to make sure that we went out of
the safety of the cave to go get that
next meal, to go find a mate, to fight
to raise our kids, to make sure that
they had kids. All of those things that
nature had to embed in our brain still
exist in us today, and they govern our
wants, desires, behavior. So, if we
don't take the time to build that up, to
fan those flames, to get us hyped about
this thing that we want to do for
whatever reason, if we don't do that,
then the laziness kicks in, which is the
flip side of the evolutionary coin. So,
side number one, you better get out, you
better go do something, you better hunt,
you better take these risks, you better
protect your family, you better be a
tough nut that is going to contribute to
the group. Otherwise, you're going to
get ostracized, you're going to get left
behind, and you're going to die.
Laziness is about, "Yo, this hard.
Finding calories is tough. You've got to
go out and forage, hunt, kill, chase,
defend yourself against this thing that
you're trying to take down. And once you
get those calories, it was a lot of work
and often times you had very little to
show for it, especially if we're talking
plant matter, which from a caloric
standpoint is not very dense. And it's
not like it is today where we have farms
everywhere, you had to literally hunt
and forage in dangerous spaces in order
to get those calories. So, you had to
have a competing desire to chill. So,
you've got this desire pushing you
forward make sure that you do hard
things to make sure that you're
progressing, contributing, getting
better. But then over here, you've got
this weird-ass completely contradictory
desire to chill. Because the brain, if
nothing else, there are two things that
just gobble calories, and that is muscle
and brain. And your brain, by far, is
the hungriest thing in your body. It's
something like 2% of your body weight
and takes up 20 to 25% of your caloric
intake just to run your brain. So, you
can imagine if you've got muscles
gobbling calories even at rest, you've
got your brain just mowing through
calories to keep you alive, to leverage
your intelligence, then you better have
a directive embedded in your brain that
once you've gone out and done the thing,
whether it's hunt, protect, mate,
whatever, that you then relax. So,
you're always going to have these two
competing desires. It is a very weird
part of the human experience. So, to
overcome that laziness, you've got to
have a very compelling reason to go out
and hunt, especially when the grocery
store is right down the street and for
very cheap you can get plentiful
calorie. You can swipe left or swipe
right and decline or find a potential
mate, right? Everything has gotten so
easy. You have to have a compelling
reason to go out and do these hard
things. But if you don't, then you have
this profound sense of disease because
again, progress is a foundational pillar
of human happiness. So, people
procrastinate because nature is telling
them to procrastinate. They are lazy
because nature is compelling them to be
lazy. And if you don't build the desire
to overcome those things, if you don't
build that up, walk that process, do the
things that you need to do to fan the
flames of desire, then you won't. You
will chill.
You will relax.
Because that's how nature designed you.
So, you have to go down the process of
building desire. Now, the process of
building desire is very simple and I
will walk you through it. It goes like
this. You're going to tell yourself your
why. I am doing this for this reason. I
want this goal for this reason. For me,
I want to build this mega media company
because I believe that the only way to
break the relationship between your zip
code and your success is through ideas.
That it is a mindset problem, a belief
problem, a value system problem. It is
not a money problem. You can actually,
just by where you live, dramatically
increase the likelihood that somebody
will remain poor generationally. Okay?
That's an idea problem. That's a mindset
problem. It's a It's a way to think
about the problem problem. It's not an
IQ problem. Plenty of smart people. It's
an idea problem. Since I believe that
and I believe that the best way to get
ideas across is through story, I'm
building a media company to help people,
people like the people that I have known
and loved that did not succeed because
they had the wrong frame of reference.
Now, the idea of frame of reference is
beyond the scope of today's video.
Because I have known extraordinary
people, smarter than me, that did not
end up having success that they could
have had if they had that right set of
ideas, I have dedicated my life to
building this media company. That gives
me a pretty compelling why. There are
people that I know and love that I can
think of when it gets hard and I'm
exhausted and I'm tired and I do not
want to keep going. I don't think think
money. I don't think about adulation, I
don't think about recognition. All I
think about is those people having a
better life or their kids having a
better life. And that is what propels me
forward. Or I flip to the dark side and
I think about the people that want me to
fail. Again, this is maybe outside of
the scope of what we're talking about
today, but I have these things that I
tap into that fan the flames of my
wanting, that make me want it
badly.
And when I can capture that sense of
wanting the success the way that a
drowning man wants that next breath of
air, then I have the willingness to
fight, to keep pushing, to do the thing.
So, I'm going to tell myself, I'm going
to tell other people that I want this
thing. I'm going to repeat it. I'm going
to be saying it internally. I'm going to
be saying it externally, fanning those
flames. And most importantly, and you've
been watching me do it this whole time,
I'm going to embody the emotion that I
want to feel. So, when I say it, I don't
say it like this.
I want to help break the relationship
between your zip code and
your future success. Instead, I say
there are people that I know and love
that are smarter than me, that haven't
achieved half of what they could have
achieved because they had the wrong
ideas. As I embody that and somewhat act
out the emotion that I want to feel,
there's a part of my brain that
everybody has that goes,
"Why are we getting so hyped up about
this?" We're getting this hyped up about
it for some reason. Oh, that's right,
because people that we know and love
have struggled in life because they
didn't have these ideas. And as my brain
relates that feeling to that story, they
begin to get intertwined. And now I can
trigger that emotional state simply by
remembering the people that I'm trying
to help. So, that's a part of the brain
that you really want to leverage. So,
that as you think about this, you can
recapture that physiological state. And
when you can change state at will simply
by remembering the kind of people that
you're trying to help or the the that
you're trying to achieve, the reason
behind it. Now, when you get tired, when
you're procrastinating, when you feel
lazy, you can tap into that, the desire
kicks in, and now you've got the juice
that you need to push forward. Take the
time, it's a very simple process, take
the time to build that desire. Tell
yourself, tell other people, repeat it
like crazy, and then make sure that you
embody the emotion, and then just
repeat, repeat, repeat. Right, if you're
trying to accomplish something
extraordinary in your life, there's one
thing that can really become a problem,
and that's burnout. Now, I think that
most people, if I'm being quite honest,
are spending way more time giving into
laziness, and burnout is probably not
the thing that they have to watch out
for, but they are two sides of a coin.
So, you want to be very thoughtful about
pushing yourself, not allowing yourself
to be lazy, not accepting that or
tolerating that in yourself, which most
people do, and it has become very
fashionable to be anti-work, and I'm
telling you right now, if you're
anti-work, if you're looking for ways to
be lazy, you are going to get your lunch
eaten. You are going to get mowed over,
because there are people out there who
understand one immutable truth, skills
have utility. Skills have utility, okay?
As Kobe Bryant used to say, booze
don't block dunks. People can hate you
all they want, but if you can outperform
them, they can't stop you. They cannot
stop you. There were people, very
talented, highly paid people that
scouted the entire globe looking for
people that could play basketball better
than Kobe Bryant. They were paid
millions of dollars every night, and
their sole job was to stop Kobe Bryant
from scoring. And yet, despite that, he
scored 81 points in a single game,
because he got better than they were.
And if you get better than somebody
else, you can outperform them. You can
do things they can't do. Skills have
utility. Now, if you remember that, and
you really you that at the core of your
existence and you push yourself and push
yourself and push yourself, then you can
accomplish extraordinary things. Now, on
the journey to doing that, if you know
that you are leaving it all out on the
field, now you can earn the credibility
with yourself to check to make sure that
you're not burning out. Burnout is a
totally separate beast. Burnout happens
when you become pathological about
getting better, about pushing yourself,
and it no longer is about what it should
be about, which is an end mental state
because you are playing a game of
neurochemistry. Make no mistake about
it. The sole purpose of life is to be
fulfilled, to work really hard to garner
a set of skills that serve not only
yourself but other people. If you are
doing that, if you are pouring your guts
out every day doing everything that you
can to get better at something that
matters to you so that you can serve not
only yourself but other people. And yes,
you should serve yourself as well, but
you also need to be committing
contributing to the group. If you're
doing that, if you are going all out
every day and achieving that level of
fulfillment, then life is going to be
amazing. If, however, you're not
focusing on that and you're living by a
set of rules that, like for instance, I
have rules in my life. Monday through
Friday, if I'm awake, I'm either working
or working out. That is a rule that I
live by. Unless I'm burning out, unless
it stopped being fun, unless
through all of this, I'm pushing myself
too hard and even though I'm doing all
of the things that I just laid out, I'm
working my ass off to garner a set of
skills that allow me to serve not only
myself but other people, but I hate my
life, then I know that I'm burning out
and that I need to back off. And let me
tell you, the reason that I can have a
rule in my life that Monday through
Friday, if I'm awake, I'm either working
or working out is because I trust myself
to do two things. One, leave it all out
on the field. I play to
win and I play to win every day. And
number two, if I'm burning out, I do
less. I cannot tell you the number of
times I've seen incredible people not be
able to do less. If you don't trust
yourself, that's a whole 'nother issue
that needs to be dealt with. But if
you're leaving it all out on the field
and you don't have a release valve, you
will burn out and you will stop and you
will actually get less done. This is
like people that don't prioritize I
sleep. As hard as I go, you'll notice I
say, "If I'm awake." If I'm awake
because I prioritize sleep. I get as
much sleep as I need. It is rare. I may
work up wake up to an alarm 10 times in
a year. I mean, it's really a
vanishingly small number of times that I
will wake up to an alarm. Most of the
time, I'm able to just sleep as much as
I want and I have built several
successful businesses, all without
needing to set an alarm. You prioritize
sleep, you can get efficient. So, you
got to prioritize your mental health. I
don't understand people who don't do
that. You're living for the wrong thing.
You're living for external validation,
other people's praise. You're trying to
impress your parents. You're trying to
make a certain amount of money. You're
mistaking something as the punchline of
life. The punchline of life is not
money. It's not fame. It's not
recognition, adulation. It's none of
those things. It's just fulfillment.
That's it. It is a neurochemical state.
You will
respect yourself if you're fulfilled.
You will have self-worth if you're
showing up every day playing to win in a
way that serves you and other people. If
you follow that fulfillment formula,
everything else is going to take care of
itself unless
you don't know when to quit. One of the
rules that you need to have in your life
is if you are unable to achieve
fulfillment because you're burning out,
because you don't recognize that Tuesday
that you just need a day off because
you've been going too hard. You've been
pushing yourself too much. You're
starting to get poor sleep. Whatever the
triggers are for you. Depression is a
big one. Overly anxious, not being able
to eat or eating too much depending on
how you deal with stress, not being able
to enjoy your life, not being able to
enjoy the smile of a loved one, not
being able to enjoy your favorite song.
All of the things like that where you
can't shift your state, where you're
locked in that negativity, all of those
are signs that you're burning out. If
you've been working hard. Because you
can have those same symptoms by being
lazy. So, you are going to have to
structure your life, build rules, be
accountable to yourself to make sure
that you're actually living up to your
end of the bargain. What's your end of
the bargain? You have a goal and that
goal is something that you believe
passionately about. You have started
with why. You are trying to do something
that matters, that serves not only
yourself but other people. If you're
doing all of that, going all out, and
you're not feeling good, you're either
pointed in the wrong direction
or you're burning out. So, be very
thoughtful, but remember most people
fail on the lazy side. They never get to
burn out.
What are some practical steps that I can
take to introduce discipline into my
everyday routine? All right, the key
when it comes to discipline, one, you
have to know what it is that you're
trying to achieve and why
and why you want to achieve it. Once you
know what you're trying to do and why
you're trying to achieve it, then we're
going to put rules in place. So, when
you have rules and you know these are
the things I do, these are the things I
don't do, they are bright lines in your
life, we can start to create some
routines and habits that are going to
take us where we want to go. So, I'll
give you some rules in my life,
especially at the really it's the night
before and the morning of, so that
everyday is set up for success. So, rule
number one, I go to bed at 9:00 p.m.
like it's a religion. So, that way I'm
going to get as much sleep as I need. I
almost never wake up to an alarm
because I just want to make sure that I
get plenty of sleep. So, rule number
one, bright line, go to bed at 9:00.
Rule number two, I'm out of bed in 10
minutes or less. So, from the moment I
realize I'm awake, I'm getting out of
bed in 10 minutes or less. Now, the
reason I need that rule, even all these
years later, because I first put that
rule in my life in my early 20s, the
reason that I put that in place is
because I was laying in bed 4 to 5 hours
a day every day and getting absolutely
nothing done. And so, I realized that if
I didn't have that rule, if I didn't
just have a mandate, a bright line, a
non-negotiable that I got out of bed in
10 minutes or less, I was never going to
get anything done. Now,
you have to have that goal and that
reason, otherwise you're not going to
stick to your goal. And so, a big part
or you're not going to stick to your
rule. A big part of your discipline is
knowing why you're doing all of this.
So, I had all these big dreams and quite
frankly, I had shame because I was at
that point engaged to my now wife and I
felt like I was letting her down, the
family down because I wasn't
actually taking steps to make my dreams
come true. So, trust me when I say that
if you don't build the desire, if you
don't really want something that makes
it worth having these rules, you're not
going to stick with it. So,
out of bed in 10 minutes or less. Next
thing is, I set beside my bed my workout
clothes. So, it's not like a big debate
whether or not I'm going to work out. I
put my workout clothes on, I give my dog
his medicine, long story, and then I go
and work out. And it just makes it easy
when the very thing there next to your
bed are your workout clothes.
The next thing I do is I make sure that
I always have an important things list
so that I don't have to think or wonder,
what should I be doing? I know exactly
what what I should be doing with the
next 15 minutes of my life because I
keep that list of important things that
I would need to do in order to take
meaningful steps towards my goal and
because I really want my goal, I've
built all that desire, it becomes very
easy for me to stick with it.
So, those are some really simple
practical steps that you can put in
right now.
Know what you want.
Build the desire to get there. Put in
rules that optimize your time and get
rid of any and all excuses and sort of
weak moments because I find people that
have to hmm, what should I be doing?
They get distracted. They end up living
by the law of accident. So, go to bed at
the right time, have rules about getting
out of bed, put your gym clothes or
whatever is important to you right
there. If you know the first thing that
you want to do when you wake up is get
to work or whatever. Make sure that
whatever work implements you have, your
laptop, whatever. This is not what I
advise, but I'm just saying whatever
that thing is that's important to you,
grab it and get going. And then keep an
important things list that's in order so
that you know exactly what to do first,
what to do second, third, fourth, so on
and so forth. And if you do that
and you have those bright lines, you'll
be off to a very good start.
All right.
What tools do you use to keep yourself
dedicated and focused on your main
priority on a daily basis? All right, so
much of what I do and how I'm able to
accomplish the things that I'm able to
accomplish is because I've taken the
time to actually build the desire to
want the thing that I'm chasing. Now, a
big part of that is assigning meaning
and purpose to your goals.
Your goals should not be random.
They should not be designed to make you
rich. Even if that's a second or third
order consequence, great, but the
primary goal should be something that
gives you meaning and purpose. Now, when
you have meaning and purpose, you will
be willing to fight through the lame,
the boring, the difficult. Okay? I've
said many times, boredom kills more
dreams than fear, than failure. It's you
get in there, and to get good enough to
do the thing that you want to do, it's
really boring. You have to do a lot of
stuff that you do not want to do over
and over and over. And so, the only way
for you to have the stamina to see that
through is to really want that thing
that you're pursuing. Now, if you really
want that thing that you're pursuing,
and you've tied meaning and purpose. So,
back at Quest,
it's real boring being under the
equipment trying to fix it.
But, I was there fighting for my mom and
my sister. I wanted to end metabolic
disease. I wanted to make sure that they
lived long enough that I could enjoy
their company for decades and decades
and decades to come. But, to do that,
the price for that, if you will, was I
had to create food that they could
choose based on taste, and it happened
to be good for them.
At Impact Theory, I am trying to make
sure that nobody gets to the age of 15
without encountering a growth mindset
through Story at Scale. And so, all the
boring things dealing with finance and
contracts and all of that stuff,
I do it because I really believe in the
people that I'm trying to help, and I
have deeply personal connections with
the with people that I've encountered in
my life that because they didn't
encounter a growth mindset in those
years, they have struggled needlessly in
their lives. And so, that really matters
to me. So, when it gets hard, when I get
bored, I can stay focused because I
really have this deep, spiritual, quite
frankly, connection with what I'm trying
to do. It isn't about making money, it's
not about getting famous, it's about
helping people that I love and care
about. And so, when you have that,
you're going to be able to keep yourself
focused and on your main priority. And
then, if you actually believe that you
can accomplish it, that helps. And so,
uh you need to believe that you can get
good enough. You don't have to believe
you already are good enough, but you
need to believe that you can get good
enough in order to achieve this.
How do you decide on what you want to
dedicate yourself to? How do you keep
yourself focused on that goal while
other opportunities are opening up to
you or unforeseen obstacles come up?
Okay. Here is how life works. If you're
trying to achieve something great with
your life, right now, I know exactly
what's happening to you. You are
metaphorically standing in a room with a
thousand doors. There are many things
you're excited about, many things you
could do, so many opportunities before
you.
The hard part isn't finding opportunity.
The hard part is standing in a room full
of opportunity and knowing out of those
thousand doors that are open to you, how
to close 999 of them and have the
courage to walk through just one.
Most people are so dazzled, distracted,
so worried that they're going to choose
the wrong one that they never step
through one. And so, my advice to you is
just run around closing doors like
crazy, walk through one with reckless
abandon, knowing that you can always
come back the other side and try
something else. And also,
if you're young, don't prematurely
optimize. Go through a bunch of doors,
come back, go in, come back out, go in,
come back out, try a bunch of different
things, find the things that excite you
the most, find the things that the more
you engage with it,
the more interested you become.
If you engage with something and over
time it starts to lose interest for you,
that's not the right door.
If, on the other hand, the more you
learn about it, the more you engage with
it, the more you're like, "Man, this is
so fun." That's what you're looking for.
You're looking for something that gives
you more energy than it takes. If it's
taking more energy than it gives, this
is not the door for you. So, you want to
find that thing where the more that you
engage with it, the more fascinating it
becomes. Now, if you do that
and the only thing that you pursue is
the thing that's giving you more energy,
and again, it's going to give you more
energy because there's something innate
about it that's fun, and
you did what we talked about earlier,
where you figured out why you wanted it.
You started assigning meaning and
purpose. I'm doing this to save my mom
and my sister, whatever the case may be.
But, you're assigning something to it
that is deeply personal, that really
makes sense with that thing.
And now, when an unforeseen obstacle
comes your way, you know why you're
fighting for this, and you will push
through that boredom because it's
something that you know on balance you
love anyway, and you're fighting for
something that matters to you. When you
get that magical cocktail, as Friedrich
Nietzsche said, "A man with a strong
enough why can endure any how."
So, you need that strong why to keep you
focused, to ignore all the other
obstacles and opportunities, to really
go after that thing, and to have tested.
You've tried a lot of things. You did
not prematurely optimize. So, I know
that this one is good for me. I know
that I'm not cuz a lot of people they
end up just they like the beginning. And
so, in the beginning,
I know I'm here. I'm ready to fight.
This is good. And then, as time wears
on,
laziness kicks in.
They like distraction. Maybe they have
ADHD. They want the next dopamine hit.
They pick up their phone, and suddenly
they think it's, "Oh, well, this Tom
said to only do the one that gives me
more energy. This doesn't give me enough
energy. I'm going to go try something
else." I would say, once you've done the
early exploration, you know, of 15, 20
different things, and found some that
give you more energy than they take.
Then, if more than three times you find
yourself starting only to stop and want
to start over again, that is you're
lacking grit. Angela Duckworth has a
book called Grit where she addresses
this, but basically you have to at some
point draw a line in the sand and say,
"Look, I know that in the early phases
of this I loved it. Now I just need to
push through the boring stuff by knowing
why I'm doing this and having a desire
to progress in my life, which is
incredibly important, and I'm going to
do that by gaining mastery in the skills
that I would need to master in order to
be good at this thing. And then you
commit and you go."
All right, that's how that's done.
Next, I struggle with the consistency
aspect of discipline. What advice do you
have for someone like me? All right.
So, first of all,
you want to set yourself up in the way
that we were talking about earlier to
make consistency the default answer. So,
we go to bed at the same time. We have
our meal plan prepped out, so we don't
have infinite ingredients in the house
and a bunch of junk food. It's like we
have the ingredients we need to make the
food that we want to make. Our gym
clothes are right next to the bed. All
of that stuff.
So, we are setting ourselves up so that
the right answer is the easiest answer.
And the pantry is an easy way to explain
that. If you don't know what you're
going to eat, you don't have rules
around what you eat, and you've got a
bunch of junk food in the house, the
odds of you sticking to your diet are
basically zero because you don't have
things laid out. You have not said,
"This is what I eat for breakfast. This
is what I eat for lunch. This is what
time I eat. This is what time I stop
eating." All that stuff.
Put rules in your life.
Buy according to that.
Live according to that. And then keep
that list of the things that you know
that you're supposed to be doing, okay?
It's very important for you to make the
right choice the easy choice. As you do
that in multiple areas of your life and
just start ruling things out and this is
again where bright lines really come in
handy. You have to have things that you
don't do as much as knowing what you do
do. And a lot of people get themselves
in trouble because they don't have these
bright lines. There aren't things that
are off-limits. So, for instance, Monday
through Friday, if I'm awake, I'm either
working or working out. So, you can
imagine if I start goofing off,
I start playing with the dog, I
play video games, I would know
immediately that I'm not doing what I'm
supposed to be doing because isn't
Monday through Friday? Yes.
Am I working or working out? No. Cool,
then you're doing the wrong thing. And
so, by having these rules and writing
them down can be really useful. Having
these rules, writing them down, knowing
exactly what you're trying to accomplish
and why you're trying to accomplish it
cuz remember, you don't want to live the
way that I'm describing unless it's in
service of something you love, that
you're excited about, that you believe
in, that you want it.
Because when you want that stuff, none
of what I'm describing is a pain in the
ass. You're excited to have these rules
because they're actually allowing you to
get done the thing you want to get done
and the more you engage with it, the
more exciting it is, the more your
passions are ignited because you're
getting good at something, you're making
progress. And something we haven't
talked about,
make sure your goals
are exciting and honorable. They're
exciting, you just want to do it, it's
fun, this is an area that you like to be
in.
And it's serving people in a way that
elevates not only yourself, but other
people.
Okay?
When you're working your ass off to gain
a set of skills that allow you to serve
other people in a way that's fun,
now you've really got something. If you
hear me talking about all this and I'm
saying apply it to a thing that you
hate,
that doesn't make any sense.
But when you apply it to something that
you believe in and you have to do that
work, you have to decide to attach that
meaning and purpose to that thing.
But when you do that, now all of a
working hard and being a badass and
seeing who you're becoming,
that is amazing.
As Tony Robbins says,
progress is a foundational pillar to
human happiness.
Make progress.
Make progress and you will feel
amazing.
Discipline isn't meant to make your life
suck.
As Jocko Willink says,
discipline equals freedom.
The point of these rules and all of that
is to know you're not going to quit.
And you're not going to quit on
something that you care about, something
that matters to you, something that
you're building towards that is
improving your life and giving you a
sense of joy.
Unfortunately, joy is not easy to come
by. All of the default answers are going
to lead you somewhere negative. And the
reason they lead you somewhere negative
is because nature has hardwired you
to work really hard to gain a set of
skills that allow you to serve not only
yourself but other people. Nature has
hardwired you for that. So, if you fail
to do that, you sit around just playing
video games all day, and I love video
games, but I don't sit around playing
them all day.
So, if you're just sitting around,
staring at the wall,
getting lost in a book,
working out all day, and you never do
anything that allows you to serve other
people, I promise you, as much as you
don't want this to be true,
you will not feel fulfilled.
Okay, nature only has two levers to
pull, pleasure and pain. And if you're
not doing the things that nature has
deemed you need to do in order for you
to live long enough to have kids that
have kids,
you will have a profound sense of
dis-ease.
And the only way to combat that is that
formula for fulfillment, working really
hard to gain a set of skills that allow
you to serve not only yourself, because
it should be fun for you,
but also serve other people.
All right.
That's how you get consistent.
Next.
What makes you keep pushing towards your
goal after you've already had some level
of success?
Nature.
You're having a biological experience.
Nature has those two levers, pleasure
and pain.
I think a lot of people make the mistake
of thinking, "Well, as long as I don't
do things that create a problem, I don't
do bad things, I'll be fine." What could
possibly be wrong with sitting around
in my apartment all day,
goofing off,
watching TV,
playing video games,
all that stuff, all individually
wonderful,
but when you put it together,
suddenly it does not give you the life
that you want, and you start to feel
disease.
You don't feel good. Something's not
right. Something's off.
I don't know why I don't feel good. And
then, by the way, you're probably eating
terrible food,
and each bite individually is amazing,
but it adds up to inflammation,
dysbiosis, meaning your gut
bacteria, your microbiome, is out of
whack, and it's sending
signals to your brain that alter your
brain chemistry and make you not feel
good. Something isn't right.
But why don't I feel good? I'm doing
things that are awesome.
This food is awesome. Playing video
games is awesome.
Relaxing, awesome.
Reading a book, awesome.
But life in total,
not awesome.
And how is that possible?
Because nature has implanted directives
in your brain to ensure that you work
hard cuz you grew up on the
the the plains of the savanna.
And life was hard, and life was scary.
And And you weren't a part of the group,
you were going to get eaten by
something, you were going to die of
exposure, you weren't going to make it.
And so, nature
by way of natural selection
has made it extremely pleasurable
to work really hard to gain a set of
skills that are unique and exciting to
you
that allow you to serve not only
yourself, but the group. Makes that
really feel good, even though it's hard.
Even though each step of that way is
difficult.
And yet it adds up to something
extraordinary.
Okay? It's It is the most
counterintuitive, weird thing in the
world that if you do all of the
individual things that are fun, it ends
up where you feel like crap. And if you
do individually all of the things that
are hard and a struggle and are
difficult, you end up feeling awesome.
That's a reality of life. So, I knew
that. So, even as I became successful, I
never thought, "Hey, why don't we just
retire?" It won't work. It won't work.
Meaning work because I won't be able to
feel the way that I want to feel. I want
to feel good about myself. I want to
make progress in my life. I want to feel
like I'm contributing. I know all of
that because I understand how the brain
works. I understand how nature embeds
these directives in your brain, and it
isn't enough to not do something bad.
You have to be pursuing something that
matters. Meaning, purpose. That's it.
That's the game. It isn't success. It
isn't wealth. It isn't adoration. It's
not trophies. It's not goals. It's
nothing other than fulfillment. And
fulfillment is work really hard.
Okay? If it comes easy, it won't work.
Work really hard
to gain a set of skills that you care
about, that matter to you. Don't worry
about what everybody else thinks.
Skill set that matters to you. That
skill set could be playing video games.
That could be how you're going to reach
and touch the world and elevate people
and show them what's possible and
entertain them. Absolutely great.
You're doing something for other people.
But you work real hard to gain a set of
skills that matter to you, that are
exciting to you.
But they don't just serve you, they
serve other people as well.
Nature, baby. You're having a biological
experience and nature will with
your neurochemistry if you don't follow
that pattern.
So,
no matter how much success you have, you
still need progress. You still need to
be moving forward in your life. You
still need to be gaining skills. There
is no retiring, not if you want to be
fulfilled.
Not if you want to enjoy your life.
You need to go after something.
Now, make it fun. Should be joyful.
Should be the joyful pursuit
of something that matters to you.
But man,
if you do that, life is amazing. It's
hard,
but it's amazing.
But if you don't do that, it's easy,
but it sucks. Every time something goes
wrong in my life, I am asking myself one
simple question. What is it that I suck
at? I suck at something. There's
something I'm doing wrong. By
definition, if I were doing it right,
then I would be getting the outcome that
I wanted.