Video summary
The reviewer approaches the newly released 2026 re-cut of *The X-Files: I Want to Believe* with deep skepticism, noting that despite creator Chris Carter's claims of finally realizing his original vision for a dark, gritty horror film, the result feels like a complete regression. Although Carter had previously been forced by Fox executives to tone down the movie into a PG-13 version that he felt was "torture porn," this new R-rated edition is supposed to be the definitive fix. However, the reviewer argues that the film remains sterile and lifeless, failing to deliver on the promise of intense scares or gross-out moments. Instead of the expected darkness, the movie feels like a standard, by-the-numbers procedural that lacks the soul of the original franchise, essentially presenting a boring hour-and-a-half extension of a forgettable TV episode rather than a cinematic masterpiece.
The narrative structure and character dynamics are heavily criticized for being watered down and illogical, particularly regarding the relationship between Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. The film strips away the romantic chemistry and emotional depth that defined their partnership in both the series and the original movie, removing key moments like their kiss to focus on a forced conflict where Scully hounds Mulder unnecessarily. This dynamic makes little sense given the plot's reliance on Mulder returning from his reclusive life in the woods; instead of a compelling reunion driven by genuine stakes, the interaction feels artificial and bickering. Furthermore, the main plot involving a psychic priest and missing body parts is described as mundane, resembling a *CSI* episode more than a supernatural thriller, with almost no actual violence or surgical gore shown despite the premise involving stitched-together victims.
The production quality issues extend to the audio design and casting choices, which the reviewer finds distracting rather than immersive. The film suffers from an overwhelming, blaring soundtrack that drowns out conversations and fails to build tension, while the iconic *X-Files* theme song is used in cringeworthy moments instead of enhancing the atmosphere. While the cast includes notable names like Amanda Peet and a cameo by Walter Skinner, their contributions are deemed negligible, with new agents serving little purpose beyond minor plot functions. The reviewer concludes that this reimagining is arguably worse than the 2008 original, representing a waste of time for fans who have long awaited a proper conclusion to the story arc involving aliens and closure, which this version completely ignores in favor of recycling existing elements without adding any genuine excitement or fear.
Read the full video transcript
I want to read you a quote from Chris
Carter on this new version of the XFiles
film.
I wanted to make the scary movie that I
always intended to make. When we first
made the movie, we had a vision and we
tried to bring it to life. And when we
took it to the executives at Fox, they
said, "This isn't PG-13 movie. This is
torture porn." And so, we cut it back to
what we thought was a PG-13 movie to
plate the executives. And then we gave
it to the motion picture sensors and
they said this isn't a PG13
movie.
Well, with that out of the way, here we
are in the grand 2026,
18 years AC Slater, and we have a brand
new version of the movie, a brand new
cut, I should say, of the film. This
one's rated R. It's on Hulu and Disney
Plus, and it features our Dana Scully
and Fox Moulder in the way you've never
seen them before. And by that, I mean
they're less romantically entangled. But
director Christopher Carter knows what
the fans of the Files really want, and
that's to see dark, gritty, scary beyond
all belief, torture porn, gross out
moments. Oh, wait. That's more of a
Millennium thing. Anyway, here's my
review for the new cut, the Frankenstein
thingy mabobber. Let's talk about it.
Say, if you saw the second featurelength
film in theaters back in the day and
thought to yourself, "Well, this is
terrible. I sure hope someday they can
recut this into something manageable. I
want to believe there's a good version
of this film out there."
You were alone. I never thought that
once. I watched the movie, thought it
blew ass and didn't think there was any
possible way to salvage it. Well, Chris
Carter had different plans. And so, here
we are. All these years removed, there
is an announcement of a new version of
XFiles coming out. Chris Carter's
producing, but has nothing to do with
it. According to him, it's a Ryan
Cougler vehicle. It's a complete
reimagining of the franchise that's not
called Fringe. And I'm thinking I don't
give a [ __ ] because without my David
Dov, without my Jillian Anderson, what
the hell are we even doing anymore? You
gonna have Dogit in the mix? We gonna
get Dogit back
going to make a cameo? I don't think so.
So, if I were to put up my I want to
believe poster and come up with a
conspiracy theory as to why there is now
a new cut of this shitty movie in 2026,
I think it's pretty simple. They gave
Chris Carter a participation producer
award on this new X-Files version. He
has nothing to do with it according to
him. And they wanted to make sure he
didn't interfere and start running his
mouth. So they let him go to the old
tapes, get back in the editing room, and
they said, "Hey, you know what? to kind
of appease you for all the great years
of, you know, in all the multiple
seasons of X Files and that badass first
movie. Let's get let's let you take
another run at that crap movie you came
out with, the monster of the week movie.
So, he went back to the drawing board.
He got out all the notes. He got out all
the old schematics and the and the
different drawings and whatnot. And what
he has produced is a movie that's
shorter, a movie that's somehow more
lifeless, and a film that still feels
like it's PG-13.
Where is the dark, gritty, torture porn,
gross out, intense moments? Did I watch
the right cut? Granted, it's been a long
time since I saw that original in
theaters, but this felt like the same
[ __ ] movie all over again. So Chris
Carter going out there running his mouth
saying he came. He he gave us the vision
that he initially fever dreamed up. If
you believe him, congratulations.
You played yourself. Because the XFiles
I Want to Believe Franken Weeny edition
is arguably worse than the previous. Now
I don't know what new scenes were added
in. It seems like it's just the dog with
two heads that you see for all of 3
seconds max. But I know what they took
out any sort of chemistry, any sort of
relationship between Fox and Scully.
They they got rid of the kiss. They got
rid of more of the sentimental emotional
moments. And so what we have is a very
sterile, very by the numbers, media, not
even mediocre, it's just bad. It's It's
a bad XFiles episode extended to a hour
and 40 minutes long. So, if you never
saw the movie, but you've been curious
as to what it's about, maybe you watched
the initial run of the show, but you
just you avoided the film, which is
smart of you. Well, it takes place
several years removed from the TV
series. I think 10 years has gone by.
Moulder is a recluse. He's off in a
cabin in the woods doing his best.
Walter White, he lasted a lot longer
than Walter did out there. He seems
pretty contently miserable. He's got the
pencils in the ceiling, a nice little
call back to the early days of XFiles.
And Scully is working at a hospital as
by God, a doctor, what she always wanted
to do. But it's still not an easy walk
in the park for her because she has a
kid with a terminal disability. And
there doesn't seem to be a solution in
place. That is until she starts looking
into stem cell research. And now she's
going to have to once again marry her
faith with her science and hope for the
best. While this completely forgettable,
boring secondary plot is going on, we
have the completely forgettable, boring
main plot happening, which revolves
around a psychic priest pedophile who
can find the whereabouts of body parts
of women that were killed. I think they
killed men, too, but I'm not sure
there's any in the film. Not that
anybody's really killed at all. Nothing
happens in this movie. It's going to be
a series of scenes where the psychic
priest is wandering off onto the ice.
searching out the the the souls of these
people while 40 or 50 FBI agents saunter
behind him. This character is played by
Billy Connelly. But we have a
starstudded cast here. We got exhibit in
the mix. This is the first day of the
rest of my life. X X marks the spots.
Nah, X spots the marks. I'm sure Chris
Carter thought to himself, "This is the
X Files. Who can we get in the actor's
space that has X in their name?
[laughter] Oh shoot, we got Exhibit.
Apparently DMX was busy that weekend.
The film also features Amanda Pete.
Remember her? Do you remember her? Cuz I
completely forgot until I saw her. And
when she showed up, I was like, "OH,
IT'S AMANDA PETE. That's nice." The last
time I saw her was what? When I saw this
godforsaken pile of [ __ ] [ __ ] in
theaters back in 2008. It would not
truly be an XFiles movie though without
Walter Skinner. And he does show up for
a kind of more of an a cameo than
anything else. It's a shame how how he's
in the movie for just like a little bit
of time. But regardless, it's always
nice to see the skin head when he shows
up. That is not the right way to use
that term. Now, I can set aside the fact
that this isn't an alien invasion
storyline. That's that's perfectly fine.
Some of my favorite episodes revolve
around the monster of the week stuff.
Tombs is is easily in my top 10 for
XFiles. the incest family with the mom
under the bed. That's that's scary [ __ ]
What we have here though is something
closer to a CSI than an X Files. After
one body part is found, I think they go
to Moulder, who's again, he's he's off
in a cabin in the woods, they need
Scully to go find him. Skull Monster, I
need you to go get your boyfriend out of
his cabin and come back to the job. All
is forgiven. you know, all the run-ins
with the FBI in the past and and the
shadow government and and blowing up
labs and and then trying to free aliens
and and all this stuff. You know, it's
all it's all water under the bridge. We
desperately need him right now because
one of our FBI agents is missing. They
got one of our own and we're so
desperate and out of ideas. We need Fox
Moulder. Why? Unclear. There's really
never any real reason they have to get
this guy out of hiding, but Dana Skully
goes to find him. She said they need you
back. Fox doesn't want to go. He's
perfectly content being miserable on his
own. Looking at the photo of his
longlost sister on the doorstep. But
after a grand total of 10 seconds of
soularching, he says, "Fine, I'm back,
baby. Let's do it."
What's the difference between me and
you? You took a good one, but you don't
do what you're supposed to do. Subscribe
for exhibit songs. Immediately after he
gets back in the fray, starts talking to
the pedto priest. Dana Skully is all up
in his snatch, saying, "What's wrong,
Moulder? You're your backsliding. I'm
afraid you're getting too far into the
darkness. You got to walk away from this
one, dude." He's not even doing
anything. He's seriously just following
the leads, listening to the priest who
is taking them to useful locations where
they are finding things. But the whole
movie, these two are bickering like a
married couple. And in the show, it
worked a lot better because Moulder
typically would go like way to the
extreme, put himself into harm's danger,
go against the government, go against
protocol, and Dana would have to like
reel him back in or try to or question
his decisions. Are you suggesting,
Moulder, that there's some sort of a
putty man who can slither in and out of
vents and he's eating the livers of his
victims? That seems a tad out there. But
in this instance, it doesn't make sense.
She's on him, hounding him, even though
she's the one that got him to come back
in the first place. Make it make sense.
Now, this can all be forgiven, of
course, if there are some scares, some
chills with that cool background sound
they always do.
No, there's none of that. I DON'T EVEN
THINK THAT SONG'S in there. But there is
music. Oh my god, is there music? It is
blaring the entire film
while people are just having like a
regular conversation. That music is at a
thousand%. Because Chris Carter knows
this movie is so freaking boring that he
has to constantly bombard the viewer
with a bunch of epic sounds so that
they're kind of distracted from the fact
that they're just watching mainly people
fight in different rooms OF HOUSES. HOW
EXCITING. ALSO, the use of the XFiles
main theme song, which is barely
present, does get queued up in the
cringiest points possible. One of them's
pretty early after Scully, I think,
makes some revelation and you just hear
the
Amanda Pete and Exhibit's characters
bring absolutely nothing to the table as
agents. They're just there to kind of
again push against Moulder a little bit,
but not even near as much as Scully's
doing. There are a grand total of zero
scary scenes or thrills to be found. The
the major focus is going to be on a new
agent who goes missing. She's she's
kidnapped by one of two guys. So, the
whole Frankenstein thing plays out like
this. There are gay lovers. One of them
is dead or dying. I think it's never
fleshed out well at all. So the
boyfriend goes out, grabs a couple
agents who are on the donor list, takes
them back to his place,
cuts off body parts, and then stitches
them to his uh his boyfriend. But we
don't see any of that. It's so rare.
There there's like no violent moments at
all. There's barely any surgery stuff
going on. This is so watered down. And
again, it's XFiles. Where are the
scares? Where is the chilling to the
bone moments? It honestly annoys the
[ __ ] out of me that I'm talking about
this movie again. I I left that thing
buried in 2008 where it belongs. And the
fact that Chris Carter has brought it
back into the conversation again. Why?
Your movie was terrible, dude. Take the
W's where you have them. The first
XFiles movie was badass. The show was
great. Yeah, there's there's duds, of
course, but after nine seasons, who's
not going to have some? But overall, it
was a very fun ride that ultimately went
nowhere because he refuses to give fans
what they want, which is closure, which
is finally a great relationship between
these two, which is the alien invasion
stuff coming to fruition. None of it's
ever going to happen probably at this
point. Instead, he's going to milk the
stuff he already has. He's going to
cling on to it for dear life because
everything's about to change because
Ryan Cougler is involved and who knows
what the [ __ ] he's doing. As of right
now, I have zero interest in a new
XFiles, but I do like Ryan Cougler's
work. He's made some great films in the
past. So, I'll give him the benefit of
the doubt when I see the trailers. As of
right now, though, I have no reason to
believe it'll be good, and this movie
certainly was not. What a complete waste
of time to sit through this crap again.
Let me know if you wasted yours in the
comments below. I would again appreciate
it if you sub to the show. Adam does
movies. I'm on YouTube. I'm on Spotify,
Apple Podcast. Wherever you watch or
listen, you'll surely find me. And I
hope to see you next time. All right,
take care.
[laughter]
Exhibit. We in the house. It'd be sweet
if there was like an exhibit remix
version of the XFiles theme song. What a
waste.
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