The ULTIMATE ADVICE For Every Young Person! (HOW TO SUCCEED IN LIFE) | Tom Bilyeu
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Tom Bilyeu begins his message by revealing a crucial truth: he was never born an entrepreneur but started with what he calls a "slave's mentality," characterized by avoidance and minimal effort. His journey shifted after meeting two wealthy, fit men who taught him that controlling one's life requires wealth and discipline. This realization led to the founding of Quest Nutrition, which grew from misery into a billion-dollar company through immense hard work over eight years rather than the expected eighteen months. However, Bilyeu eventually quit his role as CEO and returned equity because he realized money was not the ultimate game; instead, life is about brain chemistry and finding fulfillment. He argues that while society often focuses on survival of the fittest, Charles Darwin actually stated that it is the most adaptive species that survives, emphasizing humanity's unique ability to change in response to stressors. Central to Bilyeu's philosophy is the concept of antifragility, a term borrowed from Nassim Taleb, which describes systems or individuals that become stronger when attacked rather than just resilient against damage. He illustrates this with an anecdote about David Goggins running 100 miles in under 24 hours despite severe injury and exhaustion, highlighting how enduring pain builds self-esteem based on antifragile traits like being a learner rather than fragile intelligence or ego. Bilyeu stresses that success requires admitting when one is wrong quickly to build credibility and fostering an environment where others feel safe bringing ideas forward without fear of ego clashes. He also references the Stanford Marshmallow Test, noting that delaying gratification—a skill learned through mental tactics—is predictive of long-term success in school and careers. To develop grit and passion, Bilyeu asserts that these are not innate gifts but constructed traits developed through sustained interest and mastery over time. He advises against romanticizing talent or early promise, pointing out that even legends like Michael Jordan were cut from their high school teams yet achieved greatness through relentless work ethic and the willingness to "break themselves in half." The path to success involves doing more than others by working hard, smart, and long hours because of a deep belief in one's mission. He emphasizes that boredom is often the primary killer for entrepreneurs who fail to push through tedious tasks like dealing with bureaucracy or repetitive practice, urging listeners to find their "why" so they can endure these difficult periods without losing momentum. In building a business today, Bilyeu highlights how social media has democratized access to consumers, removing gatekeepers that previously controlled advertising and distribution. He shares Quest Nutrition's strategy of using platforms like Facebook and Instagram not just for sales but to build authentic communities by partnering with influencers who already have trust within their niches. Examples include sending knitted sweaters to Jenna Marbles' dogs or collaborating with Cassey Ho, turning transactional relationships into genuine partnerships that transcend sterile business norms. He advises creators to be true to the specific culture of each platform—whether formal for Facebook posts or intimate and playful for Instagram stories—and to consistently publish high-value content rather than trying to sell directly, ensuring their marketing feels like a contribution to the community's well-being. Ultimately, Bilyeu concludes that execution is the only thing that truly matters between dreams and reality, requiring hyper-specific goals and pragmatic data-driven decisions rather than vague aspirations. He challenges individuals to know more about their industry or product than anyone else in the world through relentless research and grinding work ethic, citing his own preparation for interviews as an example of exceeding expectations. The true purpose of life, he argues, is not merely acquiring wealth but discovering how many useful skills one can acquire and applying them to serve something bigger than oneself. This mindset transforms time management into a spiritual consideration where taking vacation days becomes easy once the individual has earned every moment through dedication, proving that anyone willing to pay an extraordinary price for their own transformation can achieve greatness regardless of their starting point.
Read the full video transcript
So, here's the bad news. I am not a born
entrepreneur, and that is very important
for you to know about me. I had a what
I'll call a slave's mentality. I kept my
head down, I did as little work as
possible, and I avoided punishment at
all costs. That's where my life began.
Thank you for laughing at my pain.
In fairness, I have been to Mars, so
there's that.
Uh you weren't supposed to mention it
though, so but thank you guys so much
for having me.
Um I want to know how many born
entrepreneurs do we have in the crowd?
Don't be shy about it. How many born
entrepreneurs do we have? Let's hear
you.
All right, there we go. So, here's the
bad news. I am not a born entrepreneur,
and that is very important for you to
know about me. I had a what I'll call a
slave's mentality. I kept my head down,
I did as little work as possible, and I
avoided punishment at all costs. That's
where my life began. That's thank you
for laughing at my pain.
It really was um brutal growing up for
me. I felt entirely lost. I felt
entirely out of control. I had visions
of what I wanted my life to become, but
I had absolutely no idea how I was ever
going to get there.
And understanding that, and really
believing that, that that's where I
started, the rest of my journey becomes
that much more interesting to you
because I have some fundamental beliefs.
I believe that we're all trapped in the
matrix.
And the matrix are the limiting beliefs
that you've pulled over your own eyes.
They're all a bunch of lies.
And so, it's really learning how to get
yourself out of that, to get rid of the
limiting beliefs, so that you can
execute against your dreams, but it
starts with belief. And humans lead with
belief.
Growing up, I knew two things about
myself. I grew up in a morbidly obese
household that teetered between
blue-collar and white-collar, and I knew
in my future two things would be true.
One day I would have six-pack abs, and
one day I'd be rich. I had absolutely no
idea how I was going to make those come
true, but I knew that they were going to
be two of the things that I was going to
make come true in my life. Now, it's
important to understand that Quest
Nutrition is a company that rose from
the ashes of misery.
Each and every one of you at some point
in your life, you are going to hit rock
bottom.
The question isn't will you hit rock
bottom, the question is what are you
going to do with yourself when it
happens?
And for me, I was teaching film, and I
met these two buff, rich guys. And I
thought, "Oh my god, six-pack abs and
wealth."
I've got to follow these guys. It's
literally like I was meant to meet them.
And they said, "Tom, you're coming to
the world with your hand out.
And if you want to control your art, if
you want to control your life, you've
got to get rich.
So, hey, come on.
We're starting this technology company,
we need a copywriter, you'd be perfect
for the job."
So, I went and I did it, and they said,
"But don't think of yourself as a
copywriter.
Understand, this is a startup. You can
have any job in this company that you
want. You just have to become the right
person for the job."
So, I took them seriously,
and I started working my ass off to get
better.
To focus on the things that I needed to
do in order to get good, to grow, and be
able to execute.
And I got so good
that by the time we sold that company, I
was the chief marketing officer, and
they'd given me 10% of the company just
based on performance. So, imagine giving
somebody something that amounts to
millions of dollars just based on how
hard they've worked.
That was the kind of blood, sweat, and
tears that I put into it. But when I
came into it, we all thought it was
going to take us about 18 months to sell
the company.
Eight and a half years later,
in the depths of despair,
I realized something had to change.
And I went to my partners and I quit.
And I said, "Guys, here's your equity
back.
I don't believe I should get anything. I
don't plan to cross the finish line.
I'm going to go do something that makes
me feel alive."
And let me tell you right now, I said
that from the position of being in a
place where I had ownership in a company
worth millions of dollars.
I was making more money than I'd ever
made in my life.
I was standing in a beautiful conference
room overlooking the Pacific Ocean in
the house of a company that we had built
that was winning awards.
And I was so fundamentally unhappy that
I finally had the first of what would
become a string of very profound and
important realizations. And that is the
game you think you're playing is money.
But I promise, the game you're actually
playing is brain chemistry.
If I gave you $4 billion tomorrow, but
inside you felt suicidal and you felt
worthless,
what would be the point of the money?
Conversely, if I gave you $3, but you
felt fulfilled and like you were
contributing not only to yourself, to
your family, to other people, you felt
alive inside and what you're doing meant
something to you and you felt that you
had significance,
what does the money matter?
Anybody ever read the poem Richard Cory?
I read this poem when I was like 9 years
old and it left a lasting impression on
me and it was about the best looking,
richest guy in town. The guys wanted to
be him and the girls wanted to be with
him. And the poem ends with Richard Cory
going home and putting a bullet in his
head.
That's the human condition. How many
people have you met in your life you
think they're spectacular, they're
amazing,
and yet they're so fundamentally unhappy
that they're in the grips of depression.
We're living through a mental pandemic
right now.
It is almost ubiquitous to know somebody
who has depression and or anxiety.
And the reason is people don't
understand the game they're playing. The
game you're playing is a game of
brain chemistry.
It's chemicals that flow through your
brain. It's a mindset. Once you
understand that, then you can begin to
structure your life in a way that
actually makes sense.
This is a long ass quote, but I'm going
to read it all to you because these Once
you understand this,
you will understand everything you need
to know about life.
To those humans
who are of any concern to me, I wish
suffering,
desolation, sickness, ill treatment,
indignities. I wish that they should not
remain unfamiliar with the profound
self-contempt, the torture of
self-mistrust, the wretchedness of the
vanquished. I have no pity for them
because I wish them the one thing that
can prove today whether one is worth
anything or not.
That one endures.
That's life.
That's the human condition.
Most people think that Charles Darwin
said that it's the survival of the
fittest. Darwin never said that. It was
said years after his death. What he did
say, and burn this into your nervous
system,
what Darwin said was
it's not the strongest of the species
that survives, nor the most intelligent,
but rather
the most adaptive to change.
The reason human beings are the apex
predator is because what we are good at
is change. What we are good at is taking
a stressor, a stimulus, and changing our
body. Look at the people around you.
Look at homie over there, jacked to the
nines. Tommy, shredded.
They were not born like this.
Okay, I grew up in a morbidly obese
family. I'm not supposed to be lean.
We adapt because we force ourselves
through something that is painful and we
endure.
What was Tommy talking about? The
takeaway from Angela Duckworth's book
that really stuck with him. Many people
start, but few endure.
It's not interesting whether or not you
guys have a dream. I don't care if you
have a dream. I am so uninterested in
empty dreamers, I can't see straight.
What I care about, do you have the
fortitude to fail? And what do you learn
from that failure? Do you get back up?
Do you keep going? Do you force yourself
to recognize that this is a question of
adaptation? You simply have not done to
yourself what you need to do
in order to be good enough to succeed.
And it really is that simple. Once you
accept
that the thing that separates you from
the rest of the animal kingdom
is an unimaginable ability to become.
You have an unimaginable ability to
become something.
In 2014, private companies averaged 8%
annual growth.
After I went into my partners and I said
I quit
and I'm going to go do something that
makes me feel alive, they were totally
shocked.
And I got all the way to my house and I
was on the phone with my wife, I did it.
I had been unhappy for so long.
And I said I did it. I told them I quit,
I gave back the equity, here I am and
I'm pulling into the driveway at my
house and my phone rings.
And it's my partners.
They say, "Come out to dinner with us."
Out of respect and love, I went out to
dinner with them
and they said the now famous words,
"We could do this without you.
But we don't want to.
And that gave me what I needed to
connect to something other than money.
It reminded me of the brotherhood. It
reminded me that I'd fallen in love with
these guys as human beings, that there
was something more than money, there was
something more than being a clever
marketer.
That I remembered for a second who I am.
The things that make me unique. That I
have a desire to connect, that I
actually enjoy communities, that I'm not
a guy with a killer instinct. I'm not
interested in stepping on my my
competitors necks. This is not how I'm
wired.
I'm wired to build something. I'm wired
to see people shine. I love seeing other
people win. I think it's incredible.
Now, that doesn't mean that I don't want
to win. I want to win at the absolute
highest level. I want to be the greatest
of all time.
I want more people to write about me
going to Mars because they're terrified
to try to match my intros.
I want that, right? And I hope each and
every one of you wants to play at that
level. I hope each and every one of you
looks at the greatest of all time and
says, "If I'm willing to break myself in
half to get there, I could do it."
But being honest with who you are, being
honest that if there's something else
that you want to bring to the table that
you find a way to do that. And so I
said, "Guys, I will come back and work
with you on one condition.
I will never
prioritize money again.
My highest value in business is
camaraderie.
And at the time that was sacrilege. We
had made a pact with each There was
three of us. The three of us had made an
actual pact that we would do whatever it
took to make our technology company more
profitable. And if that meant skipping a
family vacation, if that meant waking up
at 2:00 a.m. on a Saturday to meet and
brainstorm, we did it. Both of those
stories are real. We did things like
that. I would go away with my wife for
Christmas to see her family in London,
and I would literally take a camera with
me so I could watch
the company
back in LA.
I've never switched off. I didn't take
days off. I was working. No matter where
I was, I was working 7 days a week. I
didn't take a real vacation, meaning
that I wasn't actually working while we
were on it, for 6 and 1/2 years.
Hello, my friend. You know that I
believe success requires you to see
failure as the ultimate learning tool.
Success requires you to be disciplined
and gritty and to never, ever quit on
your dreams. I say all of that because
one thing is certain, the road to
achieving your goal is not smooth or
linear. I wish it was, but it's not.
It's going to be bumpy, sometimes scary.
Some days you'll take two steps forward
and slide 10 steps back. And that's why
success also requires you to know how to
pull yourself out of a rut and get
unstuck fast. Life is short. You can't
be messing around with your goals.
You've got to make progress every single
day. So, I've pulled a class from Impact
Theory University called How to Get
Unstuck, which you can watch for free
with the link on your screen or by
clicking below. When you join me for
that free preview of that workshop from
Impact Theory University, I'm going to
teach you my strategy for how to
understand exactly where you need to be
going, how to identify the obstacle
that's blocking you, and the best way to
make the most progress towards that
goal, and keep your momentum. All right,
click that link and let's get to work.
All right, I'll see you on the inside.
So, if I'm going to go back to that,
this is going to be in service of
something that I can believe in. This is
going to be something that makes me feel
alive. This is going to be something
that I'm passionate about. It's going to
be something that I actually feel like
I'm contributing to the world, that I
would be willing to do all of that with
a smile on my face. And I said, "The
only question I will ever ask again in
the context of business is this.
What would I do
and love every day
even if I was failing?
If you guys can get on board with that,
if we can build something from a
position of wanting to bring value and
not worrying about the money, then we
can work together.
And so they said that they felt the same
way, and we started this crazy protein
bar company called Quest Nutrition.
Everyone told us that we were out of our
minds. I was talking to Ben earlier
about imagine you're a 15-year-old who
wants to play in the NBA and all you
hear all day long is kids, you're never
going to make it.
And to have the fortitude as a teenager
to push through that and believe in
yourself is what I call the arrogance of
belief. I was so on fire with the notion
that now I was going to do something
that I believed in. Now I could think
about my mom and my sister every day. My
mom and my sister both morbidly obese, I
knew they were going to die too soon if
I didn't do something about it. I
believed it was my problem to solve. I
believed there was nothing I couldn't do
if I set my mind to it.
And armed with that, armed with the
passion to know that I'm showing up
every day fighting for my mom and my
sister, I'm not thinking about money.
I'm not going to make decisions based on
profitability. I'm going to make
decisions based on what is metabolically
real. What is the actual answer to the
question of how do you end metabolic
disease?
And I play a game called no [ __ ]
what would it take?
No [ __ ] what would it take to end
metabolic disease?
And the answer is you have to make food
that people choose based on taste and it
happens to be good for them.
That's the only way it's going to happen
on a global scale.
And so that's what we set out to do. But
when you're armed with the notion of I
want to end metabolic disease, not I
want to get rich, not I want to sell my
company.
I want to end metabolic disease and you
let that be your driver. Now you know
what your why is.
And we'll get to that more in a minute.
By putting that mindset at the
forefront,
from 2010 alone, Quest grew by 57,000%.
Comparative companies were growing by
eight.
We grew by 57,000. I'm telling you right
now, saving the world, doing the right
thing, thinking about your customer,
wanting them to win, wanting them to
shine, wanting great things for your
employees, it's big [ __ ] business.
At Quest, we made more in a single day
than our previous company made annually.
All by putting the customer first.
All by saying we're only going to do
what's actually metabolically
advantageous. Because how does it serve
me to make a product that doesn't when
my mission, in my opinion, was to save
my mom.
And I would ask myself of every
decision, tough decision that we had to
make,
which decision actually helped save my
mom?
And then we would make that decision.
We hit number two on the Inc. 500 list.
We were officially a unicorn company. We
were a startup that bootstrapped,
believe it or not, and made it all the
way to a valuation of over a billion
dollars.
All right. If you guys want to have
success in your life, and I don't care
what it is that you're trying to do,
there's going to be two things that you
need to do. We're going to talk about
the first one now, which is develop your
mindset. We'll get to the second one
later, which is build your business, but
we'll get to that. For now, let's just
talk about your mind. The most important
thing
is your mind. Make no mistake about
that. Right now, the only thing that is
holding you back, I promise you, and
whatever excuse you're telling yourself,
it's [ __ ]
The only thing that's holding you back
is the way that you think about yourself
and the world.
That's it. Flat. You not built the
mechanisms in your mind that you need to
free yourself from the Matrix. And boys
and girls, the Matrix has you.
Who knows David Foster Wallace?
You all have an assignment to do. And by
the way, if you don't do this,
don't think for 1 second you actually
want to be successful. Stop [ __ ]
fooling yourself and go do something
easier.
Because this video is like 18 minutes
long. It's one of the most profound
things you'll ever watch. David Foster
Wallace, This Is Water.
In the talk, what he makes clear is the
fish is the last one to realize that
it's in water. Think about it from a
human perspective. We had to discover
air. We had to discover gravity. They're
so ubiquitous, you literally don't see
them.
You take them for granted as just being
there. And that's how people take their
belief system. Right now, you think
you're capable of certain things and
incapable of others. And that is your
water.
And until you can identify it, until you
can see that you're telling yourself
lies, and they are disempowering lies,
by the way, because I am not some grand
fan of the truth,
I'm a grand fan of doing and believing
that which moves you towards your goals.
Do and believe that which moves you
towards your goals. That's it. Once you
put that belief at the core of your
being, you will be amazed at what you're
able to accomplish. When I say take the
red pill, what I'm talking about is
waking up to the way the world really
is.
The amount of potential that you have, I
always say is nearly
unlimited.
But I only say that so I don't have to
get into stupid arguments with people
about throwing absolutely ridiculous
things out just to try to defeat the
notion.
And that's somebody who wants me to be
wrong. But ask yourselves right now, if
my message is you can do anything you
set your mind to without limitation,
don't you hope I'm right?
And even if I'm wrong, how much farther
will you go simply because you were
willing to believe? Humans lead with
belief. Humans lead with belief.
You won't take the first step down any
path unless you believe you can actually
get where you're going. And this is
where people get stuck in the matrix.
You don't push yourself hard enough. You
don't make big enough demands. You think
small. You dream small. You make small
demands of yourself. If you want to see
what big demands look like, look at
David Goggins. Anybody know David
Goggins?
For those of you who don't, let me tell
you a quick story. David Goggins is a
Navy SEAL. He wanted to honor fallen
SEALs. To do that, he wanted to pick the
hardest thing that he could think of. It
was a 135-mile
race. The person who put on the race
said, "You can't enter my race unless
you run 100 miles in a 24-hour period.
Have you?" The answer was no. He said,
"There's one 4 days from now. If you can
complete 4 days, who weigh 250 lb, in 4
days, if you can complete a 100-mile
race literally running around a high
school track, think about how torturous
that would be,
if you can complete
100 miles
in 24 hours, then you get to run my race
and raise the funds for your charity."
So, David decides he's going to run that
race.
He wasn't prepared. He was overweight.
By mile 70, he had broken both of his
feet. He had shin splints. His calf
muscles were beginning to tear off the
bone.
He sat into a chair because he literally
had nothing left to give.
He urinated on himself blood
cuz he couldn't move. He couldn't get up
to go to the restroom, so he defecated
on himself.
And as he's sitting there in the chair,
peeing blood, in total agony, with
feces on his back,
the only question he had was, "What do I
need to do to finish the remaining 30
miles?"
And so he taped his feet so that they
would go numb, and he would stop feeling
the pain of the broken feet. He ate
something so that he would have the
needed energy to keep going.
And he got up and he started walking.
And he walked for, I don't remember how
many miles. And his wife said, "At this
pace,
you're not going to finish."
And so he ran
the remaining 19 miles.
Broken feet,
stress fractures in his shins,
blood,
excrement, and he finished on time.
That's what a human being is capable of.
We limit ourselves.
And it's only us. There's nobody else
that's doing it to you. You've chosen to
adopt those beliefs.
And once you push yourself outside of
that comfort zone, what becomes possible
is absolutely miraculous. Now, I choose
to believe that my potential is
limitless. And because of that, I've
gone from scrounging in my couch
cushions to find enough change to put
gas in my car, that is a true story, to
building a billion-dollar business.
All right. How do you do it? If this is
about building your mindset, how?
To me, it's about mind the gap. There is
a gap between who you are now and who
you need to become. And that gap is a
gap of skill set, plain and simple.
Remember, you're an adaptation machine.
Your job is to place yourself under
stress,
and then force yourself to grow.
So, back to Mr. Yoked,
you don't get those muscles by looking
at the weights.
You get those muscles by going under the
weight and not stopping when it hurts.
You stop when you can no longer recruit
the muscles enough to move the weight.
That's when you're done.
And when you're able to do that, what
you're actually doing is tearing down
the muscle fiber.
And a lot of people, when they begin
working out, they don't realize that's
actually the name of the game. The name
of the game is to break the muscle down.
And then the body comes and builds it
back up.
The conscious part is tearing it down.
Your job is to put yourself in stressful
situations. Your job is to push yourself
to the limit of what you think you're
capable of, and then go past that. And
when you're able to push yourself past
that, when you're able to get into the
Goggins reps, as I call it, when you're
able to exist in that zone, long past
where it started hurting, long past when
it got boring, long past when you were
terrified that you'd never be able to do
it, that's when you'll begin to adapt,
because you're telling your body adapt
or die.
That's how you're going to get where you
want to go.
Now, I love the movie The Matrix, as was
made very clear in the intro.
The real question is, what is your kung
fu?
You've got to figure that out. Right?
This is a path to execution we're
talking about right now. Path one is
about the mindset.
So, what is your kung fu? My kung fu is
business.
I knew that I was going to have to learn
business in order to control the
resources, in order to control my art.
And this is how you're going to develop
your kung fu.
One, always be reading.
The most important mathematical formula
you will ever encounter is right there.
I I equals I O. It stands for ideas in
equal ideas out.
If you want to solve a problem in your
business that's become particularly
tricky, you need to be taking in a ton
of data so that your unique mind, your
unique world view, your unique life,
having grown up the way that you grew
up, the way that your brain is wired,
all of it. You will come up with ideas
that nobody else is going to come up
with.
But, you first have to be getting that
stimulus.
Now, I doubt I have to over preach that
one to a bunch of people that have come
to a conference like this. These are
literally the kinds of ideas you want to
be encountering. Two, open yourself up
to being changed. I can't tell you how
many times I've recommended people my
list of books, which by the way you can
find on impacttheory.com Tom's reading
list. It is the 25 books any human being
that wants to excel should read in
order.
And before every book, say a little
prayer. And the prayer goes like this.
I am open to being changed fundamentally
and for the better by this book.
I am open to being changed fundamentally
and for the better
from this book.
You've got to go into the book wanting
it to be right. You've got to go into
the book hoping that it gives you some
piece of knowledge. Remember, everyone,
everyone is your superior in some way.
And once you learn to check your ego,
sit at their feet with absolute
humility,
and be open to their ideas, especially
the one that contradicts what you
believe today,
then you'll get somewhere.
And I've got some really amazing news
for you guys.
Your current skill set
has already taken you as far as it's
going to take you.
If you don't put yourself on a path to
learn and very aggressively, where you
are now is where you'll be in 5 years.
The key is crossing that chasm of skill
set.
All right, realize what you believe is a
choice.
This is something that's really hard for
people because they think some things
are objectively true and other things
are not.
And that's simply a lie. And that's why
the Matrix is the perfect metaphor.
Think about this for a second.
Your brain
is locked in total darkness. It never
sees light.
Your brain is locked in total silence.
It never hears sounds.
What your brain does is take stimulus,
the agitation of the air, and it
transmits it into chemical electrical
signals. It does the same with photons
falling on your eye.
But ultimately, this thing that you're
experiencing, the distance that you feel
for me, it's all happening in your mind.
There's actually two dime-sized blank
spots in your field of vision where the
optic nerve connects to the eye, and yet
you don't experience it.
It's right in the center.
So, why don't you experience it? Because
your brain is insanely good at guessing
what should be there and filling it in.
That's when I realized, my brain is
lying to me.
Now, it may have all the best intentions
in the world, but make no mistake, your
brain is making [ __ ] up.
And it's making up a lot of [ __ ]
And so, you've got to choose what to
believe.
Who here has a negative voice in their
head that tells them to be careful, be
safe, you probably can't do it, this is
all going to go wrong?
Now, do you believe that voice to be
objectively true?
Okay, so that voice is lying to you as
well. Now, it has great intentions. It's
trying to make sure you don't get eaten
by a lion in the bush.
That doesn't happen a lot in modern
society. So, maybe a little less useful
in today's day and age. And then the
really protective one is trying to make
sure you don't get ostracized by the
group, which in years past would have
meant certain death, but now
you don't need the group. You can
survive just fine. There's a grocery
store around every corner. You can get
shelter of some kind.
It may be lonely as hell, but the
chances of you dying from being
ostracized are virtually zero.
So, you've got outdated software,
outdated algorithms running in your
mind.
Your job is to develop what I call an
overwatch mechanism.
The overwatch is the emotionally sober
part of you
that distrusts
every signal and impulse that your brain
gives you.
And once you can get over that, in fact,
there's a great quote from Da Vinci, the
greatest form of control is control over
oneself.
So, the reason I love Star Wars is
because it's all about mind control.
But not mind control over other people,
don't worry about that. Mind control
over yourself.
Being able to tell yourself, "These are
not the droids you're looking for."
That's when this gets really powerful.
All right. So, belief is a choice. We're
going to talk about that more. Be an
eternal student. We've talked about
that. And last one, become antifragile.
All right. We're going to go really deep
on antifragile, so I won't belabor the
point, and develop grit. All right. How
do you become antifragile? This is
probably one of the most important
things you guys need to learn. Becoming
antifragile was literally the thing that
changed my life. And I remember the day
that it happened.
I had just started working for my two
partners.
They were very smart, clearly much
smarter than I.
And I had built my self-esteem around
being smart and being right. And now,
all of a sudden, I found myself with
these two incredible minds that could
process data more rapidly than I can.
So, I'm not going to place a value
judgment. I'm not going to get into an
argument about how valuable IQ is. I
will just say that a high IQ, in my
opinion, means that you're processing
raw data faster than somebody else. So,
you can run through the list of possible
scenarios for instance that could be
very helpful going into any negotiation.
You've just thought through all the
possible permutations.
So they made me feel badly about myself.
So as you can imagine I didn't always
want to be around them and the times
that I was around them I wanted to find
some way to be right.
And so we were arguing about something a
way to do something in the business and
I had an idea and then they threw out
another idea. I recognized immediately
that their idea was better and yet I
kept arguing for mine.
Ever come across somebody who does that?
I promise what's happening in that
moment is they're feeling insecure.
You've triggered their insecurities and
now they're going to fight for it
because it's theirs.
Because if they can at least win that
argument while they may not feel smart,
they may get reflected back to them that
they were smarter than you in that
moment they could convince you of
something. So I had this moment of
crisis.
Because I actually convinced them. And I
convinced them that my way was right
even though there was voice in my head
screaming, "It's wrong, dumbass. You
know it's wrong. What are you doing?" It
was insane. I was literally heading in
this collision and I couldn't stop
myself. So at the end of it I asked
myself, "What do I really want?"
Because I tell people I want to get
rich.
But my actions say I want to feel good
about myself.
And I had a moment of crisis because I
realized I need to feel good about
myself.
Everybody needs self-esteem.
In fact what suicide is is when somebody
no longer believes they'll ever feel
good about themselves ever again.
And if that were true, it's not, but if
that were true, suicide's actually a
reasonable option. Why would you want to
go on living if every day you're
miserable and there really is no way out
of that?
So I knew I couldn't give up my
self-esteem. I couldn't accept some
weird role where I just was always the
dumbass sitting in the corner.
Right?
So, in that moment I realized if I'm
actually going to move towards my goals,
I've got to pick something to build my
self-esteem around that's antifragile.
Now, this is a term that comes from
Nassim Taleb in his book by the same
name. And in the book, he points out
something that is resilient, something
that is strong, something that endures,
they are all defined ultimately by their
breaking point. They still break. They
can just take a lot more abuse before
they break.
Antifragile, on the other hand, is
something that the more you attack it,
the stronger it becomes.
So, think of it this way. If I pride
myself on being smart and you tell me
I'm dumb, and you put up a pretty good
case for it, that's going to damage my
self-esteem.
My self-esteem in that situation is very
fragile.
If, on the other hand,
you tell me that I'm dumb, and I build
my self-esteem around being the learner,
now I'm going to say, "Thank you. Please
tell me in what way that I'm dumb,
because you will open my eyes to
something that now I can address, and I
can go learn about that thing, and I
will have a new skill, and I can go out
and push and execute against that
skill."
That's antifragile. The more you try to
tell me I'm dumb, the more areas that
you point out that I'm weak, the more
things you tell me I need to learn
about, my eyes are open to something
that, if true, I'm going to go down that
path and I'm going to learn how to do
that. And that is absolutely critical.
All right. Identifying as smart is a
deadly trap, as is the notion of being
right. One of the most powerful things
that you could do
is become the person that admits that
you're wrong
really fast. And it's crazy how much
credibility you will earn with people
simply by admitting, "I was wrong." Like
30 seconds ago, I was fighting so hard
for something. I was really fighting for
my position, and then somebody says
something and I realize
that's actually better.
Imagine that. You're You're in the
meeting, you're going die hard because
you believe it. You should stand up for
what you believe, and you should fight
for it. But, when you find somebody that
when they actually cuz they actually
listen, and they hear, "Holy [ __ ] like
that's actually a better idea." And they
say it in real time,
and not just say it, but like, "Oh my
god, that's a great idea. I'm totally
amped. I'm on that. Now, I'm going to be
the energy for that idea."
It was crazy. When I started doing that,
people would actually come to me with
their great ideas because they knew if
it was right, I would get so
enthusiastic about it. I would give them
all the credit cuz I did not pride
myself on owning the idea. I prided
myself on recognizing the idea.
And so, people would keep coming to me
with these great ideas because they
wanted me to be the energy. And so, even
though all I would do is try and point
out whose idea it really was in like
every breath that I mention the idea,
talking about the person who actually
came up with it, I would get credit for
it because I was the one actually moving
it forward.
Because at the end of the day, only
execution matters.
You can build an amazing reputation for
yourself. And one of the best ways that
this plays out is that time when you
hold steadfast, and you refuse to bend,
people know you're not doing it just to
argue for your own idea because you've
shown a thousand times as soon as
somebody gives you a compelling idea
that you think is better, you'll move on
it.
And that there's no ego in it.
What is up, my friends? I have huge news
for you about one of the most exciting
and important projects I've ever worked
on in my life. As you guys know, it is
my mission to help teach people about
how to build a mindset and the skills
that they're going to need to live an
extraordinary life. And over the last
few months, I've been working hard
behind the scenes to create a brand new
tool that will help you do exactly that.
It's called Project Kaizen, and I'm
proud to announce that I'll be bringing
it to the world later this year. Project
Kaizen is a web 3 based game-like
experience that is a story-based world
that's going to allow you to get inside,
build an avatar that is aspirational of
who you want to become, and then take
the path of the warrior seeking
continuous improvement inside of a story
world and game experience. All right, my
friend, I cannot tell you how excited I
am about this amazing new project which
I think ushers in a whole new form of
entertainment, and I want to meet you
inside of Project Kaizen and help you
have fun with these ideas of always
getting better. All right, click the
link and join me in Discord, and until
then, my friends, be legendary. Take
care. Peace.
All right, how do you develop grit? If
grit is as important as we say it is,
sustained interest over time. That's
really what grit is.
And a lot of people talk about. In fact,
the title of my speech is supposed to be
about how you develop a passion, which
we will talk about in a little bit, but
this is going to be one of those things.
When you have passion, one of the things
that comes out of that is you've got the
ability to sustain your interest over
time. Do the hard things.
Do the hard things.
I can't emphasize that one enough.
Put yourself in uncomfortable situations
just to find the mental tactics that
you're going to need to deal with the
hard things. It's getting those tactics.
Who knows the Stanford marshmallow test?
All right. For those of you that don't,
this is one of the most breathtaking
examples of the human condition. In the
Stanford marshmallow test, they bring
in, I don't know, they're 5 or 6 years
old. They bring them in, and the person
in the white lab coat says, "Here's a
marshmallow. I'm going to go out of the
room for a minute. I'll be back in just
a few minutes. If you wait till I come
back, I'll give you a second
marshmallow. So, essentially double your
money.
Not bad.
Now, what the kid doesn't know is the
researcher's never coming back. And all
they want to know is how long will you
wait before you eat the marshmallow.
Some kids have literally gobbled it up
before they even get to the door.
Other kids are like singing to
themselves, putting their head down,
getting up, dancing around the room.
Some of them bite like the underside and
try to put it back so you can't see.
And here's what's scary.
They followed those kids for 25
years.
And based solely on the length of time
they were able to wait before they ate
the marshmallow,
predicted their level of success in
school,
predicted their level of success in the
job market. The people who waited the
longest got into the best schools, got
the best grades, went on to have the
highest paying jobs.
Just your ability to delay
gratification.
Your ability to find tactics that work
to get your mind off something.
There's no greater control than control
over oneself.
Anybody here ever done a 3-day water
only fast? Not intermittent fasting.
3 days.
Do it. You will learn something about
yourself. And it will be profound. And
what you're going to learn is that your
body is manipulative.
And I did a 3-day fast just a couple
weeks ago.
And I had the flu right before, so there
were cough drops laying around.
And every time I walked by those [ __ ]
cough drops,
my brain was like, "Eat one."
I was like, "Motherfucker, like
you know I'm fasting."
And I literally couldn't believe like
how consistently every time I walked by
those damn cough drops, that my body
like gave me this really intense
impulse.
And that's when I realized, like the
notion that there are multiple voices in
your head, by the way, is very, very
real. And I will give you one quick
quick example. Who knows what the corpus
callosum is?
All right, the corpus callosum is a
thick bit of tissue that connects the
left and right hemisphere of your brain.
If you sever that, you will get people
that have literal multiple
personalities. One in the right, one in
the left. Some of the most intriguing
stuff is one of them will be devoutly
religious, and the other will be
devoutly atheist. In the same brain. And
you can talk to them differently.
Absolutely crazy.
But the multiple voices notion is real.
There are multiple
factions, if you will, pieces that your
brain is broken up into. And by the way,
you have the equivalent of a cat's brain
in neurons just in your digestive tract.
So the whole notion of gut instinct,
think of all the cool [ __ ] cats can do.
And you've got that
in your digestive tract. Neurons.
It's literally the same material that
your brain is made out of is in your
digestive tract. Utterly fascinating. So
we have all these competing things that
we want.
But inside, if you think of that
overwatch, that one person, that's you,
that's meant to say, I have goals, and
I'm going to act in accordance with my
goals. I'm never going to sell out what
I want most for what I want right now. I
wanted a cough drop right now, but I
wanted to get on the other side of a
3-day fast and say I did it. And I
wanted that more.
And in learning what your tools and
tactics are, so for me, I welcome hunger
like an old friend. And I literally,
people must think I'm schizophrenic,
because you'll walk into the room, and
I'll literally be like pinching and
poking at my fat going, "Hunger, thank
you. I'm so glad you made it back. It is
so good to see you. I'm glad you're
here. I know that you're oxidizing my
fat, and I'm very grateful for that. So,
thank you." And in doing that, I reframe
it not as something that is unwanted or
painful, but as something that is doing
exactly what I want it to do.
And learning those mental tactics,
that's the game. Learning those mental
tactics, that's the game. That's how
you're going to get good at whatever it
is that you want to do. If you want to
start a business, learning how to deal
with your employees is absolutely
critical. But let me tell you right now,
if you lash out emotionally, your
employees will lose respect for you.
But it's just like the cough drop
moment. Now, if somebody had seen me
walk by the cough drop, they wouldn't
know that I had it literally had to
stop myself from lunging at a cough
drop.
They didn't know that because I have
control of myself.
I've practiced things like that. I do
3-day fast. I do what I call bright
lines.
So, I have a bright line.
During the week, I don't eat my second
meal before 11:30 under any
circumstance.
My wife one time brought my food 30
minutes early. I was preparing for an
episode. It was so sweet of her.
But I don't eat before 11:30 under any
circumstance. So, the food literally sat
on my lap smelling so good,
and I was so hungry,
and I said, "Hunger, thank you so much
for showing up because you're giving me
the opportunity to prove to myself what
a badass I am
because I'm going to smell how delicious
you are, knowing my stomach is grumbling
and tying itself in knots because I want
to eat so badly,
and I'm not going to."
And in those moments, you earn
credibility with yourself.
I hate working out.
Absolutely despise it. It's why I do it
first thing in the morning.
And the reason I hate it, the weights
are heavy,
and your muscles start burning when you
get into the supposed good reps.
So, that just seems shitty and
backwards.
So, it is not in any way, shape, or form
fun for me.
But, I earn credibility with myself
because it is something that I don't
like.
I earn credibility with myself showing
up every day, and it also reminds me how
much I can transform my body. Like, it's
very easy for me to show you my before
and after picture. I used to be 60 lb
heavier. It's very easy for me to show
you when I was heavy, and then show you
six-pack abs. You get it.
But, what you don't see is the body's
just a reflection of the mind.
What really happened
was I changed my mind, and I had
garnered skills. I had garnered tactics.
The things that allowed me to not eat
the coffee drop were the things that
allowed me to not eat the things that I
wanted, to not have a bowl of ice cream,
to not indulge in things that are
wonderfully delicious, but instead ask
myself, what are my goals, and then back
in with my behaviors.
All right.
The thing about grit that I really want
to highlight
is boredom.
Boredom is the thing that I think kills
most entrepreneurs.
It's not lack of funding. It's that 90%
of the things you're going to do suck.
They're tedious.
I I actually had to get in a fight with
the IRS to get my EIN number for my most
recent company.
That [ __ ] was boring. Like, I can't I
was flying into a rage cuz it was
wasting so much of my time. I literally
had to get an advocacy group to help me
go through the process. That's how
painful this was. And I literally I
remember stopping and telling my team,
"This is where entrepreneurs fail, right
here. Like, it is so tempting just be
like, 'Peace, everybody. Go home. I'm
not dealing with this [ __ ] anymore. I'm
going to go get a job.' Like, that would
will so much easier. Let somebody else
deal with this.
It's the boredom that erodes people. And
to get through the boredom, you have to
know what it is that you want. When you
know what you want,
then you're going to have the energy to
get through. Now, to have that energy,
you're going to need passion. The number
one question I get asked, the number one
question I get asked I get asked this
question multiple times a day, every
day, from all around the world. I've had
people in
Australia, UK, Germany,
uh Netherlands, Brazil, Paraguay, I
mean, just literally everywhere.
They all want to know,
"How do I find my passion?"
Asking how you find your passion makes
the assumption that your passion has
been lost somewhere.
Your passion has not been lost. Your
passion has never been developed.
Passions are created. They're
constructed. They're developed.
And it starts with interest.
You want to identify an area of
interest. So, if you've ever wondered,
like, "Oh man, that person is so lucky.
Like, how do they get lucky to find
their passion so early, and now they get
to do it and live like this amazing
life?"
And you're searching inside your mind
for that thing that's going to be like a
lightning rod that's hidden under like a
lampshade somewhere in your mind, and
you're like, "There it is. I finally
found it."
But it doesn't work like that. It starts
with these areas of interest. And if
it's something that you're trying to
turn into something that you can
monetize, it starts with ideally
overlapping areas of interest. So,
you've got multiple interests
coalescing, and it coalesces with can
money be made here.
But even that is not enough. Now, once
you have that, you've got to start going
deep into gaining mastery. And it's in
the process of gaining mastery that
you're going to find out if that
interest turns into a love, then turns
into a passion.
People who are passionate are willing to
fight through the boredom. Think about a
musician. If you want to become the
greatest musician of all time, let me
tell you how many hours, literally days,
weeks, months, years of your life will
be dedicated to playing a scale. Do do
do do do do do do do do do do. All day,
every day, the fundamentals, blocking
and tackling.
And what makes people great, and I know
Ben will back me up on this one, what
makes the greatest basketball players?
They walk out onto the court at 4:00
a.m. and they say I'm not leaving until
I've made 2,000 shots from the
perimeter.
Simple.
Period. It is what it is. They put in
the work. Now, they're not doing it
thinking, "Oh my god, this is so much
fun."
They're thinking, "I want to win. I want
to play at the highest level and I am
willing to break myself in half." And
this is the thing that I cannot get
entrepreneurs to understand. If you want
to be great, I promise you, as Tommy
said, you already have in you what you
need.
Which is the ultimate evolution-approved
ability to adapt.
So, you can change to get great. You can
change to become whatever you need to.
And if you're leveraging an earlier win,
so much the better. If it's something
that you have that little spark of early
talent, and now you're just putting the
work on top of that, fantastic. But it
is the people that are willing to
literally break themselves in half to
get the result that they want.
Research Michael Jordan.
The absolute symbol of being the
greatest.
His work ethic
is way more impressive than what he did
on the court.
If you haven't read Tim Grover's book
Relentless, read it.
And what he talks about,
Michael Jordan has darkness in him.
And if you've ever watched his induction
into the Hall of Fame speech, he just
lays that [ __ ] out.
Michael Jordan's a dark [ __ ]
But as Star Wars taught us,
there's power in the dark side.
And understanding how to leverage that,
but what I want you guys to understand
is intensity is required.
Putting in the work is required.
Doing more work than anybody else is
required for greatness.
There are three things that you can do.
Work hard,
work smart, and work long hours.
Most people get real weird when I say
they should work long hours.
But Tom, if I'm working hard and smart,
why should I work long hours? I'll tell
you why. Because I'm also working hard
and smart, and I'm working long hours on
top of it.
So I will beat you every time.
Right? Because I'm willing to do all
three. But why am I willing to do all
three? Because I believe in what I'm
doing. I know why I'm doing it.
It isn't about the money.
It's about knowing where you're trying
to get to.
And this is how you build your business.
We live in a very very new world.
That new world has been defined by
social media.
For anybody that in the last year has
spoken ill of social media,
get rid of that matrix style belief
immediately.
It is the greatest revolution in
business ever.
It is the reason that you're going to be
able to build a business without
gatekeepers being able to tell you yes
or no. Social media has completely
democratized access to consumers.
Think about that for a second. Back in
the day, you had to pay for radio ads,
or you had to be on TV. That was it.
Those were your options. And it was so
expensive. And that's exactly how the
big companies wanted it, because they
could keep you out. So, you may have a
superior product, but the world's never
going to know, because they have a way
to ice you out.
That is gone. Like, really think about
that. And I'm seeing some young faces in
the crowd. You may not realize it didn't
used to exist.
It didn't used to exist. You, to get to
a mass audience, you had to pay hundreds
of thousands, millions of dollars
potentially, to reach those people. And
they made you buy in bulk. It's not like
you could do one commercial and see what
happens. They made you buy in bulk. They
made you commit to big dollars.
Now, not anymore. Not only that, when I
was growing up,
commercials had to be high quality.
Now, you can film [ __ ] with your iPhone.
Be like, "What's up, girl?"
And you can sell product doing it.
Michelle Phan, you guys know who that
is?
Built a multi-hundred-million-dollar
empire by doing vlogging with her phone
on YouTube.
The world has changed. And thank God, it
really puts the power in your hands. But
you have to understand exactly what kind
of company
it's making room for.
In a hyper-connected social world,
everything is different.
And the reason that Quest grew as fast
as it did,
besides us having Yemini, who you guys
will get to hear speak tomorrow,
the reason that we grew as fast as we
did,
was because we understood social media
before anybody else. In 2009, when
everyone was saying that Facebook is
just a distraction, how's it ever going
to be good for business,
and we were preparing to launch our
company,
we realized that it was a megaphone. And
it gave people the opportunity to
comment on your company within minutes
of an interaction with you to a global
audience. And if we put value creation
at the center of our company, then we
had an opportunity to get you to say
something powerful. And so we said,
"We'll never ask you to say anything in
particular. If you love it, say you love
it. If you hate it, say you hate it. But
please, just say something." And then
our job is to make sure we do the really
hard work of making sure that that
product kicks ass, that it is actually
delivering results, that for people that
are trying to lose fat that they're
going to lose it and they're going to be
excited that it's delicious.
But understanding that generation
millennials and generation Z,
they want impact. They have an inherent
distrust of companies.
So right now, and let me tell you
because I've been through this,
what's going to happen? First, you start
as the undiscovered band.
And the first people that find you, they
love you like no other. You can do no
wrong. They'll follow you like in the
van on tour. They'll stay at the same
dirty, filthy motels you stay at just to
support your product.
Then, you start getting big.
And everybody's like, "Yeah, I
discovered them first. I knew these guys
before anybody else."
And then you get really big and you're a
[ __ ] sellout. And now, I don't want
to hear your music. That shit's played
out. I'm on to the next looking for the
small guy.
Because what you failed to take into
account
is they want to know what kind of impact
they're going to have by using your
product.
Sometimes that's the product itself.
Quest, having the mission to end
metabolic disease, really got people to
understand what we were about as human
beings. The fact that we were investing
millions of dollars of our own money
into cancer research because we believe
that it may be a metabolic disease,
that let people know who we are, who we
are as people.
Me starting to do a show and stepping
out front and coming and giving talks
like this so people can look me in my
eye and ask me questions. Which by the
way, every time I do a talk,
I will stay and answer questions until
there are no more questions to answer.
I've done it for 8 hours straight
before.
So at the end of this talk, even if they
kick us out, we'll do it on the parking
lot, whatever it takes. I will answer
every single question that you have.
That's the world that we live in. When
you're a servant to your customer, when
you understand that that's the level of
obligation that you have if you want to
build a real community,
that's the new way of doing business.
And I now get people that write to me
every day saying that I've changed their
life. Imagine building a company and
having people write you from all over
the world that you changed their life,
that their life is fundamentally
different and better because of you and
your products.
It's an unreal time that we live in that
you can get that kind of feedback and
interaction. All right, who knows Simon
Sinek?
Oh yeah. All right. Simon Sinek wrote a
book called Start With Why.
This is one of the most important
things. If you're looking to build a
business, I promise you, and this is
it'll happen tonight. Even though I'm
going to say it right now. I know it's
going to happen tonight. One of you is
going to come to me and you're going to
start describing your product and you're
going to ask me how you should market
it. And all you're going to describe to
me are features and benefits.
And I'm going to say, "No, no, what's
your mission?"
And you're going to say, "We want to
make computers faster."
That's not a mission. That's a feature
and benefit. What's your mission?
We want to empower entrepreneurs with
faster, cheaper computers so that even
low-income entrepreneurs can launch
companies. Okay, helping low-income
entrepreneurs launch companies, that's a
mission.
The faster computer thing is a path. And
understanding the difference between a
path and a mission is critical. I'll
give you an example.
The mission at Quest
is to end metabolic disease.
What if we found that food is totally
irrelevant to that? What would we do?
Well, our mission wasn't to make protein
bars. Our mission was to end metabolic
disease. So, we would change. As we got
deeper and deeper into cancer, it looked
like
this whole high-protein thing may
actually be really dangerous in a cancer
environment. You may have to go
high-fat.
And so, even though everybody considered
us the high-protein, low-carb company,
we started investing massively into
high-fat.
Everybody thought it was crazy. What's
going on? What are you doing?
But we were looking at the data. We were
looking at what just metabolic truth was
showing us.
So, don't ever be married to a path, but
be deeply convicted about your mission.
And choose your mission carefully. It
needs to be real. It needs to be
something that sits at the heart of who
you are.
There's an awesome quote often
attributed to Mother Teresa. No one will
act for the many,
but people will act for the one.
I showed up every day thinking about my
mom and my sister. They were very real
to me. They're people that I know, that
I love, that I see frequently, that I
will be mortified to my core if they
were to die.
So, it was very personal. It was very
easy to fight and push because when you
know why you're doing what you're doing,
when you have your mission, and you are
hell-bent to make that come true, when
things get boring, when things get
tiring, you're still going to do it.
And when you have that thing, you're
able to take advantage of one of the
kingmakers,
transparency.
There are two new kingmakers we're going
to talk about both of them. The first
one is transparency. Social media allows
you not only to reach people, but it
allows you to reach them in a super
transparent way where you can tell them
who you are, what you're about, what
your mission is, and let them see your
company from multiple angles and see if
you actually hold to what you say you're
about.
And don't get me wrong, in some ways
it's actually harder to build a business
now.
Because there's no corporate veil.
Right? If you've got a billion dollars
to start a company, you were way better
off before. It was so much easier, all
you could just hide things and lie and
tell people what they want to hear and
put out marketing messages. Anybody the
cigarette industry? I mean, it's
unbelievable how well it worked and for
how long it worked. Those days are over.
I promise you the bullet has already
been fired that's going to kill the old
way of doing business. They're bleeding
to death and they just don't realize it
yet. Now you're going to have to be
transparent. Now you're going to have to
tell people what you stand for and the
thing you stand for better be the
creation of value.
Don't think about profits. Focus on
value. The reason you want to focus on
value is it's the only thing that you
can sell sustainably. You can trick
people with clever marketing, don't get
me wrong, but it's always going to be
short-term. The only thing that lasts is
something that actually adds real
tangible value to somebody's life.
When people write in and say,
"Dear Quest, I've lost 150 lb using your
products. You've changed my life. My
wedding day, which I never thought would
come, is now just 2 months away. I
couldn't be more excited. Here's a
picture of me and my fiance."
We would get stuff like that all the
time.
Because we were focused on making a
product that was actually real.
Finding your passion for something and
building a product that's better than
what anyone else is doing.
All right. Leverage technology to
connect. People get really lost. Like,
I'm not a digital native. I didn't grow
up with this stuff. But, once I
understood what it was really allowing
me to do, in fact, many of you came up
and you saw me sitting out there and it
looked like I was working on my phone,
but what I was actually doing is
engaging with my community.
Because if you ever get a response from
me, it's actually me.
So, you can imagine I'm writing and
replying to people a lot.
But, I do that because the technology is
meant to facilitate that connection.
Once you understand that building the
community is the thing that gives you
power. And I'll give you an example.
At Quest, we had a decision to make. Do
we go to retail first, which are known
as the traditional king makers? A
retailer can make a brand. If you get
into Walmart, you can go from nothing to
a hundred million in like 12 months.
Same with Costco. They can pluck you
from obscurity and make you a big brand
almost overnight.
So, do we do that first? Or do we go
direct to consumer?
We decided to go direct to consumer
because we wanted to build a community.
We wanted the power on our side. We
wanted customers going into retailers
and saying, "Why don't you carry Quest?"
So, we said no to retailers for a year.
In fact, we ended up hiring somebody
just to say no to the retailers in a
nicer way.
True story. Because we didn't want to
burn that bridge. But, the contracts
they were sending us were so one-sided,
so aggressive in the favor of the
retailer, that we never would have been
able to be profitable. And that's how
Walmart puts companies out of business
that have been around for 115 years.
They're squeezing your margins so tight,
they become so much of your business
that one misstep and like the cost of
lids or something, which is what I think
killed what was it, Vlasic pickle or
something?
They'd been around for over a hundred
years, gone.
So, you have to have the power going
into the negotiation, and you're living
in a time where you can build a
community that believe passionately in
you and your product, and you can
mobilize them to go in stores and start
asking for the product. You can even do
it region by region. Think about that
for a second. Hey, we want uh right now
today guys, it's going to be Phoenix. We
want everyone going into whatever you
whatever store you would sell into, we
want people going into the Phoenix area,
going into the store and asking for this
product.
And they'll do it.
It's absolutely crazy. They get nothing
for it other than the pride of being in
that community because you've done
something positive. You've sold them
something of value that's touching their
life. It's making their life better.
You're transparent. You're stepping out
front. They know who you are. They'd
recognize you. They feel like they've
looked you in their eye, and you do
things to go above and beyond for them.
All right. This is the face of
authenticity, my friends. This is
actually an Instagram post that my wife
and I posted every year. We go sit on
Santa's lap.
And I thought, hey, we really do it.
It's really a thing for us, so share it
with the community. And it's stuff like
that, as embarrassing that it is, it's
stuff like that that lets the community
feel like they know you.
And in today's world, you need somebody
in your company that people will warm
to, that they will feel connected with
because what's going to keep people from
losing faith in your company as you get
bigger
is feeling connected to a person.
Companies aren't nameless, faceless
organizations,
and you don't want them to feel like it.
Our customer support department had
their own Instagram
just so people could see the people that
they were talking to.
I don't market, build a community.
That's critical. How do you build a
community? It goes like this. At the
top, there are thought leaders. Thought
leaders are the people that when you
hear them talk you don't understand what
they're talking about. Neuroscientists,
all the people that are publishing
papers, doing if if they've ever done an
abstract, then they are very much a
thought leader.
Influencers in the middle,
that's who is listening to the thought
leaders. They understand what they're
saying, but they have a way of making it
accessible to the masses. The masses
ultimately are who you're trying to sell
to, but if you're going to find the
people that you need to find, you're
going to get to them through
influencers. They're called influencers
because a lot of people listen to them.
Your job is to get a thousand screaming
fans. The way that you do that is by
partnering up with influencers who
already have the trust of those people.
Now, when most people think of
influencers, they think of people like
this.
But really, you should be thinking of
people like this. And I'm guessing most
of you don't even know who they are, but
I'll give you one random example. This
woman here, Jenna Marbles. Anybody know
Jenna Marbles?
All right. Jenna Marbles has a reach of
over 20 million followers a day.
A day. That's primetime TV numbers.
One person can reach 20 million people a
day.
Now, how do you get social influencers?
How do you create momentum with them?
So, first of all, you need to identify
them. You need to add value to them and
their community, and you need to go
above and beyond. So, Jenna Marbles is
somebody that we actually worked with.
And how did we get Jenna Marbles
to post a photo of huge stacks of our
bars?
We sent her knitted sweaters for her
dogs.
And she loved it cuz she felt like we
understood her, that we'd gone above and
beyond. She felt a sense of obligation
to post that photo because she was so
touched by what we had done. And we did
the research to find out what she really
cares about. She loves her dogs, always
talking about how they're cold they're
so skinny and they don't have fur.
And so we knit them sweaters, she loved
it, and then staged that whole photo for
us, took the picture, which was huge for
us
cuz it reached such a huge audience.
And you do that and start turning those
relationships into partnerships and
beginning to work with them. Cassey Ho,
anybody know Cassey Ho?
So Cassey Ho was one of the first
influencers that we started working
with. Uh she has a total social
following somewhere in the neighborhood
of 5 million people, just absolutely
massive. And getting her coming in, and
first it was just a paid relationship,
but then as she got to know us and know
everybody at the company, we actually
turned that into an ongoing relationship
where we've teamed up and partnered um
now to the point where my wife and
co-founder in Impact Theory is actually
creating a podcast with her,
uh and just goes to show that when it's
authentic, real connections, that you
really can transcend the normal sort of
day-to-day sterile nature of a business
relationship, and not being afraid to
recognize that the times really have
changed. Following some of your vendors
on uh their social feeds and getting to
know them can be a really interesting
way to spark interesting conversations,
to feel more invested in them as people,
and I can't stress that one enough.
And then at the end of the day, if
you're using social media, you've got to
publish. You've got to be creating
content.
Who here has a Instagram account for
your work?
Instagram account, Facebook, all of
that. Okay. The only thing I will tell
you that you're doing wrong, and I don't
even have to look at your account, you
don't publish enough.
The consistency of publishing is what
it's all about. Every time I do an
Instagram story, I get
30 inbound requests on my feed.
Just got to be putting it out there. Now
it's got to be value add, but you want
to be publishing, publishing,
publishing.
All right, how do you grow your
community? So now you have them, how you
going to breathe life into them and
really get them to go somewhere? You've
got to be where your customers and fans
are. I routinely get asked, "Tom, which
platform should I address?"
And the answer is wherever your
customers are. If they're on all of
them, you need to be on all of them. And
I know that that means it's a lot more
work and it's redundant. And yes,
Snapchat and Instagram stories are
basically the same and maybe Snapchat is
going away, maybe it's not,
but if your fans and customers are
there, then that's where you need to be.
And by the way, this stuff is going to
turn over every 2 years. It's going to
be constantly on the move, constantly
different. Maybe Twitter pulls it off
and they race back to the top. Maybe
Facebook makes a misstep and they've
gone too heavy into video and something
else comes up. You've got to be there
and as much as you can be an early
adopter, so much the better.
Cuz it's always the early adopters that
win. So keeping your eye on where the
technology is going is absolutely
critical.
All right, be true to the platform.
Every platform is different. I'll give
you one just quick example, even within
a platform how different it can be.
So first of all, I'll do Facebook versus
Instagram. On Facebook, if I'm going to
do live content, I do live content with
three cameras on a beautiful set and we
switch between the different cameras so
that the live feed feels like a live
television show. When we do that on
Facebook, we get huge numbers. If on
Facebook, I was just putting the camera
phone on a tripod and talking to the
camera, my numbers will plummet.
But on Instagram, if I just grab the
phone and hold it right in front of my
face and talk to all the people coming
through in the feed, "Hey Bob, hey
Sally, so good to see you. Oh my god, oh
hey, what's up everybody? Oh, we've got
Denmark in the house." Do that kind of
stuff, my numbers just keep going up,
up, up. So understanding what each
platform is looking for, how they want
to be talked to, how they want to
interact with you. Twitter, right?
One-on-one communication. Rapid,
real-time, news-based.
Now, Instagram, even within the
platform, there are different ways you
want to interact. So, I'm very formal
for the most part in my main posts, but
my stories are playful and a little bit
more intimate look into my life.
And they perform well like that. If I
take something that feels right on a
story and I put it in my main feed, it
won't perform well. If I put something
overly formal in my story, then it
doesn't perform well. And this comes
from publish a lot, pay attention, look
at the data. You've got to be really,
really data-driven.
All right, and boost what works. So,
once you find what's working, then you
want to put some ad dollars behind it.
Okay? And ad dollars gets very tricky.
You don't have to throw a lot of money
at something to get a big result, cuz
what you're going to do is do a bunch of
free stuff and look at what pops.
And when something pops and it's
outperforming all your other stuff,
which both Facebook and Instagram will
tell you, this is performing better than
95% of your other posts, well, that's
probably a good candidate to put some
money behind. Also, partnering up with
other people in your space to do
crossovers or um trade shout-outs,
things like that.
All right, what if I told you your
customers hate your content?
Hopefully, you would believe me, because
chances are that they do. Because what
most people are trying to do with their
content, they're trying to sell.
Don't try to sell with your content. Try
to add value. Your content in and of
itself should be a value add. So, at
Quest, a lot of what we do is cooking,
cooking with the product sometimes, not
cooking with the product, but really
trying to think, what is the consumer
want? What would be value add for them?
What are they looking for?
And those are of things that are going
to allow you to continue to build that
community out.
High value content. It's all about value
add. You're living in the era of value
creation. So, not only does your product
have to be amazing, but your actual
marketing in and of itself can't feel
like a commercial. It's got to be true
to the brand. It's got to be true to the
brand ethos.
But, it has to be
in and of itself interesting and
valuable. So, rethinking that, moving
away from traditional features and
benefits buy this.
All right. I mentioned this earlier,
only value is sustainable. The only
thing that you're going to be able to
sell over time is that. So, you guys
need to be having meetings in your
company talking about value. What is the
value of this ad? What is the value of
this marketing? What is the value of
this product? Like, you have to know why
that thing is valuable. That is
absolutely critical.
And execute. At the end of the day, only
execution matters.
You all have a dream. That's why you're
here. There's something that you want to
do. There's something that you want to
create.
But, at the end of the day,
the only thing that matters is your
ability to execute. So, get really good
at that. Crossing that chasm of skill
set. And I can't say that enough.
The only thing that stands between you
and executing on your dreams at the
highest level is skill set. It's getting
good at something.
All right. Have very clear goals. It
always freaks me out. Most people stop
at the first sort of vague notion of
what they want to do. I'm going to punch
myself in the mouth if somebody comes up
to me again and says, "I want to help
people."
That's rad. That comes from a beautiful
place. Like, I totally get it. But,
that's like coming to me and saying, "I
want to win an Olympic gold medal."
Awesome. Winter or summer?
Summer. Fantastic. Swimming or tennis?
Swimming. Excellent.
Backstroke? Freestyle? Like at some
point it's got to get so specific
because you have to know what skills you
need to acquire. You have to work
backwards from the goal and the goal has
to be hyper specific. So if boredom is
the number one killer of entrepreneurs
that they're not able to make it
through, the next one is they don't have
clear goals. And the worst part is they
think they do.
That's the part that terrifies me. The
worst part is they think they do.
Until you know exactly what your mission
is and exactly what your business model
is and what problem you solve, what very
concrete problem that people are
freaking out to have solved, until you
do that, you don't have the necessary
ingredients to build your business.
All right, don't be romantic, be
pragmatic. Look at the data. The data
will tell you what to kill, the data
will tell you what's working and what's
not.
This was the single best piece of advice
that was ever given to me and I ignored
it for 3 years. I'm so embarrassed by
that that I always make sure any talk I
give people hear this.
Know more about your product, service,
industry, whatever, than anyone else.
Than anyone else.
If you guys have ever seen my interview
show,
the reason that it's doing as well as
it's doing is I know more about the
guest, one guest actually said this, I
know more about the guest than their
mother.
I just put in more work than their
mother.
That's the truth.
I go out and I research and I read
everything and I watch every video that
I can. And so I know so much about that
person. I know I'm going to give a
different interview than anyone has ever
given before because nobody's done that
level of research. Not only does it blow
the guest away and totally endear them
to me,
but it gets us to the point where we can
give an interview that has unique value.
So, know more about what you're doing
than anyone else in the world and grind,
baby, grind. For 2 years, for 2 years,
that's what I look like every day.
Hairnet, lab coat, gloves.
Put in the [ __ ] work.
Put in the work. And this is where the
rubber meets the road. This is where
you're really going to separate the
people that are wantrepreneurs
from the people that are people that are
real entrepreneurs. You've got to want
to grind. You've got to learn to love
that. You've got to learn to love to put
in the work. To be proud of yourself
that you showed up and put in the work.
To be proud of yourself that you taught
yourself how to suffer. To be proud of
yourself that you're developing a
mindset where you believe I can do
anything I set my mind to. And by the
way,
once you believe that you can do
anything you set your mind to without
limitation, how you spend your time
becomes a spiritual consideration.
How you spend your time becomes a
spiritual consideration because you
could be doing something. If you want to
end hunger, end hunger. What's stopping
you? Bill Gates is actually going to end
malaria. He's going to do it because he
had the tenacity to generate the
resources and because he has a mind that
allows him to work on the infrastructure
and figure out how to actually solve
that problem. Do not under any
circumstances make Bill Gates or anyone
else extraordinary to let yourself off
the hook.
Don't [ __ ] do it. Don't sell yourself
short. And this is where I see people go
wrong all the time. They look at
somebody who's amazing
and they say, "Well, they're just
naturally gifted."
I could never do that.
You couldn't do it because you believe
you can't. And because you believe you
can't, you don't start putting in the
work.
Michael Jordan got cut from his high
school basketball team.
He wasn't exactly showing all the
promise in the world. My own mother,
when I left for college, quietly assumed
I was going to fail and didn't admit
that for years.
I showed no early signs of promise.
I actually have a version of this talk
where I show photos from my childhood
and people are like, "Yeah,
[ __ ] you just look stupid."
And it's true. I used to dress like a
clown and I mean that almost literally.
So, my waist was size 36 and I wore size
54 pants.
I wore literal jester hats.
Um I had one of those big chains that
connected to my belt.
Uh I had shoulder-length hair. I did not
exactly look the part and I didn't take
myself seriously.
It really is a game of transformation.
It really is a game of understanding
that you can become something. So, even
though I didn't start with the requisite
skills, even though I wasn't a born
entrepreneur, which is why I start this
tale with that,
even though I wasn't a born
entrepreneur, I could acquire and did
acquire the skills that were needed to
execute.
It is a very long road
that leads you here.
Right now,
most entrepreneurs in the world are
thinking about one thing.
Winning a championship ring.
Once you understand the difference
between wanting to win a championship
ring
and wanting to be capable of a
championship performance,
then you'll have the breakthrough that
you need.
Because most people are okay
winning a ring while sitting on the
bench.
I am not.
That holds no interest for me. I don't
want to win the lottery. I don't want
something handed to me. That was why
when I quit, I gave the equity back. I
didn't want it.
If I didn't do it, if I didn't earn it,
if I didn't make somebody's life better,
if I didn't force myself to actually
develop my potential, which for me, the
very meaning of life, write this down,
the very meaning of life is to find out
how many skills you can acquire that
have utility, and then put that utility
to the test
in service of something bigger than
yourself.
I'll say that again. The very purpose of
life
is to find out how many skills you can
acquire that have utility, and then put
that utility to the test in service of
something bigger than yourself. If you
do that, not only can you build a big
business that adds tremendous value to
people, but you'll have what's called
techne. You will have something
beautiful, a skill that you have fought
hard for that can help someone else. And
that, my friends, is fulfillment. And
going back to the game that you're
actually playing, which is brain
chemistry, it is not money, it is not
accolades, it is not number one on the
Inc. 500 list. The game that you're
playing is being proud of yourself.
The game you're playing is being able to
look yourself in the eye and go,
"Damn, you left it on the field.
You really played to your full
potential, and you're prepared to go
back to the gym to get better." When you
know that about yourself,
everything changes.
Like people always ask me, "Tom, you
work so much. When are you going to take
a day off?"
I'm like, "I'll take a day off whenever
I want one. I've earned it.
I'm not conflicted. I know how much I
work.
But I didn't take a day off for 6 and
1/2 years at the beginning of my journey
because I didn't believe I'd earned it.
Some part of me was guilty because I was
still fighting my own mindset. I wasn't
always doing the things that I should be
doing.
Once you get to the point where you know
you leave it out on field every day,
take a vacation whenever you want.
It won't even be a second thought for
you.
This is the most fundamental belief that
I have.
I've hired drug dealers.
I've hired former gang members. At one
point, the staff at Quest, literally, I
had Bloods and Crips working the same
production line. It's a true story.
Because I told the neighborhood,
"I don't care who you are.
All I want to know,
who do you want to be?
And what's the price you're willing to
pay to get there?
Boys and girls,
I promise you,
once you answer that question for
yourself,
once you know exactly who you want to
become, and you're willing to pay a
price that is higher than anyone else's
willing to pay, you will win.
That's the only path to success.
Think about what you know about humans.
Your job in building a company
is to get people to feel so bonded to
you, so bonded to your company, that you
dazzle them.
And have you ever dazzled somebody
by lowering their expectations
and then comfortably delivering more?
The phrase that makes me want to break
something, "Under promise and over
deliver." [ __ ] that. If you tell me you
want to under promise and over deliver,
you're dead to me. I don't even want to
talk to you. Because I know what you're
trying to do is manage my expectations.
You are not trying to be the greatest of
all time. You are not trying to be
capable of the extraordinary. You will
happily win a championship ring while
sitting on the bench. I'm not looking
for that. What I'm looking for is
somebody who knows who they want to
become and they're willing to pay an
extraordinary
price to become that. Because all that
matters to them is becoming capable of
the extraordinary.
And when you get to that point, the only
way you will know how to act is to set
the bar ridiculously high. So high
you're almost embarrassed to say it out
loud. And then my friends, you're going
to surpass all expectations.
Thank you.
For my parents biggest frustration was
that I was epically lazy and if they
handed out gold medals for being lazy, I
would have won, I assure you, hands
down.
There was a period in my life where I
would spend between two and three hours
in bed because it was warm in bed and it
was cold out of bed. All right? That's
true. I actually did