Video summary
The podcast addresses a critical vacuum in men's advocacy regarding positive masculine role models, noting an inability to identify healthy examples beyond figures associated with the manosphere or internet subcultures like DGN. The discussion highlights how this lack of supply has been filled by controversial voices such as Andrew Tate, whose meteoric rise is attributed directly to society's failure to provide alternative guidance for boys and men without fathers in their lives. Key advocates mentioned include Jordan Peterson and Warren Farrell; while both are described as wonderful and thoughtful individuals who cared deeply about the issue, they reportedly stepped back due to intense backlash and vilification rather than a lack of conviction or capability. A significant portion of the conversation focuses on the disconnect between public perceptions of male privilege and the lived realities of men facing severe struggles. The speaker recounts conducting street interviews in London where every man spoken to was dealing with horrific personal crises, such as losing children, addiction, or dying parents, contradicting the archetype of privileged masculinity often portrayed in media like sitcoms. This gap suggests that instead of labeling boys as toxic or misogynistic, society should reflect on its own failures to engage directly with men and boys through conversation rather than solely about them. The prevailing sentiment is that these struggling individuals are not receiving adequate support but are frequently mocked, driving them toward figures who validate their experiences despite the controversy surrounding those figures. The dialogue shifts to strategies for social change, emphasizing the importance of collaborating with people whose incentives already align rather than alienating potential allies through tribalism or making others feel like outsiders. The speaker expresses deep feelings of being othered, left behind, and excluded from mainstream conversations about men's issues, noting that such isolation can lead to resentment if not managed carefully. To maintain mental well-being against this backdrop of alienation, the conversation includes a sponsorship segment for Element electrolytes, which are promoted as a way to support adrenal health and reduce fatigue without relying on caffeine during its initial inactive period in the morning routine. Ultimately, the episode concludes with a call to action for collective effort rather than siloed advocacy, suggesting that successful campaigns work by uniting those already on their side while avoiding tactics that push people away. The speaker expresses willingness to provide data and support to collaborators like Scott Galloway if they were willing to engage in open dialogue about the most recent statistics on intimate partner violence and other critical issues. The overarching conclusion is that fixing this problem requires a shift from pointing fingers at boys to questioning how society can do better, bringing men and boys back into supportive communities before it is too late.
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who do the powers that be in men's
advocacy put forward as positive role
models I don't I don't honestly I do not
know I do not like this is a question we
we had maybe a year ago who are who are
the positive masculine role models for
men and I don't know we didn't have an
answer there I have answers but I'm not
sure who they're supposed to be like I
think they I think these this this
certain type of advocacy really
struggles to present a male role model
healthy male role model especially one
that is masculine and I'm still waiting
for them to present one like have you
seen one like who who are we supposed to
look up to if not all these manosphere
men it's uh the vacuum of any role
models has left the Gap that has been
precisely filled by people that those
those supposedly providing us with Role
Models say aren't Role Models right like
it's the the issues that you have are
laid at the feet of the vacuum um you
know I think very much the rise of the
manosphere and whatever version that is
like the djn internet version of the
manosphere the proper one uh I think
that that largely was laid at the feet
of Jordan abandoning his conversation
about boys and men you know he moved on
to other things he moved on to talking
about political issues and and religion
and and faith and stuff like that and
he'd opened up a market there evidently
was a market he'd inspired a lot of
people to have these sorts of
conversations and it showed proof of
concept that you can be very popular by
doing it but he didn't continue
servicing the market so there was demand
and no Supply which sucked in a lot of
other people well I think I think Jordan
probably gave up on that because he got
so much backlash like he clearly cares a
lot about men and boys and he he must
have been sick about being vilified for
it the same for like Warren Farrell like
he could have been a really great role
model and Champion for men and boys no
one really knows who he is but he's a
wonderful man very thoughtful and
sensitive A Lot Like Jordan and he was
just I guess castigated and
as I know like I I can understand why
Jordan would give up I often feel like
giving up
too and um you're right that there is a
massive lack of positive male role
models especially when you think about
how many boys haven't got fathers at
home and how few men there are in
classrooms and how bad the role models
are on TV especially like sitcoms and
people like Andrew Tate capitalized upon
that he just stepped into that vacuum
because he does speak positively about
masculinity whether you like it or not
he does speak positive about men and
boys and they just naturally gravitated
towards it I I always like to think that
who could have predicted well is I
always like to think that his his
meteoric success I think he was the
fastest growing influencer in history
that massive success is exactly
proportionate to our failure that's how
badly we've done that's how big our
failure has been so if we need to stop
pointing the finger at boys calling them
toxic misogynistic or oppressive and
start pointing the finger at ourselves
for not helping them not talking to them
only ever talking about them never
talking to them that's the real big
problem like we always talk about boys
we always talk about men we never talk
to them like I actually spent last
Friday on the Streets of London just
interviewing random men and I'll tell
you what every single man I spoke to was
[ __ ] in his own unique horrible way
like losing his children addicted to
alcohol his parents are dying he's like
every single man was going through
something horrific and yet the archetype
of men as privileged just didn't does
not line up with my lived experiences
and I get DMS every day from these men
like really really struggling often with
the issues that we talked about earlier
and they're not being helped and they're
not even being seen and they're actually
being mocked a lot of the
time and those are the men that
gravitate towards people like Andrew
Tate because we are not doing a good
enough job in my opinion and so like I
said like instead of us fighting the man
is fear like this ghost let's start
actually questioning are we doing a good
enough job can we do better and can we
bring these men and boys back cuz I
think we can I think you already have
and I would I mean I would give you I
mean you don't need any more money but I
would give you a lot more support like I
would be like I'll be I'll be calling
you every single day if I was at
November like Chris can I can what's the
secret Source you've got the secret
source for instance one of the things
that I rely on you for is uh stats you
know I'm not balls deep in the data I
don't know what the Cutting Edge uh most
recent CDC intimate partner violence
stuff is saying so I have to pick it up
from your Instagram or DM you and you
know like I I feel like if you had a if
you really wanted to make an impact you
would have a big email chain or some big
folder and Scott Galloway would have
access and I would have access and you
would have access and would everybody
would be working collaboratively
together um and that's not to centralize
me in this I'm hardly like the Vanguard
of like fixing this problem my point
being that when I look at import and
successful social change campaigns they
work with the people who are already on
their side but the incentives align to
push people away if human tribalism is
so strong if you make someone feel like
an other they will position themselves
in opposition to you and I think you I
think you're seeing that an awful an
awful lot I relate so much to that I
feel othered so often I feel let down
left behind excluded like shut out of
the party so so often and it's so
difficult I have to take breaks not
because I struggle like I'm not like
rning out energy but I generally feel
like alienated and I'm like I don't want
to become resentful I don't want to
become bitter I need to step away for
like two weeks and I'm on a break right
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