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The Silent Struggles Men Are Facing

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The podcast addresses a critical vacuum in men's advocacy regarding positive masculine role models, noting an inability to identify healthy examples beyond figures associated with the manosphere or internet subcultures like DGN. The discussion highlights how this lack of supply has been filled by controversial voices such as Andrew Tate, whose meteoric rise is attributed directly to society's failure to provide alternative guidance for boys and men without fathers in their lives. Key advocates mentioned include Jordan Peterson and Warren Farrell; while both are described as wonderful and thoughtful individuals who cared deeply about the issue, they reportedly stepped back due to intense backlash and vilification rather than a lack of conviction or capability. A significant portion of the conversation focuses on the disconnect between public perceptions of male privilege and the lived realities of men facing severe struggles. The speaker recounts conducting street interviews in London where every man spoken to was dealing with horrific personal crises, such as losing children, addiction, or dying parents, contradicting the archetype of privileged masculinity often portrayed in media like sitcoms. This gap suggests that instead of labeling boys as toxic or misogynistic, society should reflect on its own failures to engage directly with men and boys through conversation rather than solely about them. The prevailing sentiment is that these struggling individuals are not receiving adequate support but are frequently mocked, driving them toward figures who validate their experiences despite the controversy surrounding those figures. The dialogue shifts to strategies for social change, emphasizing the importance of collaborating with people whose incentives already align rather than alienating potential allies through tribalism or making others feel like outsiders. The speaker expresses deep feelings of being othered, left behind, and excluded from mainstream conversations about men's issues, noting that such isolation can lead to resentment if not managed carefully. To maintain mental well-being against this backdrop of alienation, the conversation includes a sponsorship segment for Element electrolytes, which are promoted as a way to support adrenal health and reduce fatigue without relying on caffeine during its initial inactive period in the morning routine. Ultimately, the episode concludes with a call to action for collective effort rather than siloed advocacy, suggesting that successful campaigns work by uniting those already on their side while avoiding tactics that push people away. The speaker expresses willingness to provide data and support to collaborators like Scott Galloway if they were willing to engage in open dialogue about the most recent statistics on intimate partner violence and other critical issues. The overarching conclusion is that fixing this problem requires a shift from pointing fingers at boys to questioning how society can do better, bringing men and boys back into supportive communities before it is too late.
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who do the powers that be in men's advocacy put forward as positive role models I don't I don't honestly I do not know I do not like this is a question we we had maybe a year ago who are who are the positive masculine role models for men and I don't know we didn't have an answer there I have answers but I'm not sure who they're supposed to be like I think they I think these this this certain type of advocacy really struggles to present a male role model healthy male role model especially one that is masculine and I'm still waiting for them to present one like have you seen one like who who are we supposed to look up to if not all these manosphere men it's uh the vacuum of any role models has left the Gap that has been precisely filled by people that those those supposedly providing us with Role Models say aren't Role Models right like it's the the issues that you have are laid at the feet of the vacuum um you know I think very much the rise of the manosphere and whatever version that is like the djn internet version of the manosphere the proper one uh I think that that largely was laid at the feet of Jordan abandoning his conversation about boys and men you know he moved on to other things he moved on to talking about political issues and and religion and and faith and stuff like that and he'd opened up a market there evidently was a market he'd inspired a lot of people to have these sorts of conversations and it showed proof of concept that you can be very popular by doing it but he didn't continue servicing the market so there was demand and no Supply which sucked in a lot of other people well I think I think Jordan probably gave up on that because he got so much backlash like he clearly cares a lot about men and boys and he he must have been sick about being vilified for it the same for like Warren Farrell like he could have been a really great role model and Champion for men and boys no one really knows who he is but he's a wonderful man very thoughtful and sensitive A Lot Like Jordan and he was just I guess castigated and as I know like I I can understand why Jordan would give up I often feel like giving up too and um you're right that there is a massive lack of positive male role models especially when you think about how many boys haven't got fathers at home and how few men there are in classrooms and how bad the role models are on TV especially like sitcoms and people like Andrew Tate capitalized upon that he just stepped into that vacuum because he does speak positively about masculinity whether you like it or not he does speak positive about men and boys and they just naturally gravitated towards it I I always like to think that who could have predicted well is I always like to think that his his meteoric success I think he was the fastest growing influencer in history that massive success is exactly proportionate to our failure that's how badly we've done that's how big our failure has been so if we need to stop pointing the finger at boys calling them toxic misogynistic or oppressive and start pointing the finger at ourselves for not helping them not talking to them only ever talking about them never talking to them that's the real big problem like we always talk about boys we always talk about men we never talk to them like I actually spent last Friday on the Streets of London just interviewing random men and I'll tell you what every single man I spoke to was [ __ ] in his own unique horrible way like losing his children addicted to alcohol his parents are dying he's like every single man was going through something horrific and yet the archetype of men as privileged just didn't does not line up with my lived experiences and I get DMS every day from these men like really really struggling often with the issues that we talked about earlier and they're not being helped and they're not even being seen and they're actually being mocked a lot of the time and those are the men that gravitate towards people like Andrew Tate because we are not doing a good enough job in my opinion and so like I said like instead of us fighting the man is fear like this ghost let's start actually questioning are we doing a good enough job can we do better and can we bring these men and boys back cuz I think we can I think you already have and I would I mean I would give you I mean you don't need any more money but I would give you a lot more support like I would be like I'll be I'll be calling you every single day if I was at November like Chris can I can what's the secret Source you've got the secret source for instance one of the things that I rely on you for is uh stats you know I'm not balls deep in the data I don't know what the Cutting Edge uh most recent CDC intimate partner violence stuff is saying so I have to pick it up from your Instagram or DM you and you know like I I feel like if you had a if you really wanted to make an impact you would have a big email chain or some big folder and Scott Galloway would have access and I would have access and you would have access and would everybody would be working collaboratively together um and that's not to centralize me in this I'm hardly like the Vanguard of like fixing this problem my point being that when I look at import and successful social change campaigns they work with the people who are already on their side but the incentives align to push people away if human tribalism is so strong if you make someone feel like an other they will position themselves in opposition to you and I think you I think you're seeing that an awful an awful lot I relate so much to that I feel othered so often I feel let down left behind excluded like shut out of the party so so often and it's so difficult I have to take breaks not because I struggle like I'm not like rning out energy but I generally feel like alienated and I'm like I don't want to become resentful I don't want to become bitter I need to step away for like two weeks and I'm on a break 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