Video summary
The podcast addresses a stark decline in sexual activity among young men, citing viral statistics from 2018 and subsequent data indicating that virginity rates for males under thirty have worsened significantly since the onset of COVID-19. The speaker attributes this trend to a confluence of factors including social media dynamics on dating apps, which facilitate hypergamy where a small number of men monopolize access to women while others face rejection due to fear of being "meat-fished." Compounding this issue are digital distractions like pornography and video games that numb male desire. The discussion highlights the profound emotional disconnect in modern relationships, noting that many young men have become desensitized or gullible enough to accept superficial connections with AI chatbots as substitutes for genuine intimacy, a phenomenon exacerbated by dating app culture where women tolerate multiple partners while other men struggle to find stability. The conversation shifts to the societal impact of this crisis, touching on demographic concerns such as falling birth rates and the rise of alternative male role models like Andrew Tate. The speaker argues that figures like Tate are symptoms rather than causes; they emerge because disenfranchised young men feel demoralized by a lack of recognition for their masculinity and social mobility. In contrast to these radical voices, there is an absence of positive masculine figures currently championed by the culture at large, with Jordan Peterson briefly filling this void before facing backlash. The dialogue suggests that while some on the right look up to traditionalists like Joe Rogan or Peterson, the left largely rejects masculinity entirely, leaving a vacuum where young men seek validation through extreme ideologies rather than constructive self-improvement. A central theme is the speaker's philosophical view of sex as an act of profound generosity and vulnerability from women, which serves as a mechanism for natural selection to encourage men to become better versions of themselves. He posits that historically, women acted as gatekeepers who pushed men to achieve stability, get jobs, and develop skills in order to earn respect and intimacy. However, the modern pathologizing of male desire has broken this dynamic; when society labels traditional male pursuit of sex as "disgusting," it removes the incentive for young men to strive for self-improvement. Instead of being driven by a partner who pushes them toward excellence, many men now rely on solitary outlets like OnlyFans or masturbation, which offer no pathway to elevating their character or building a shared future with another person. The speaker emphasizes that sex is not merely physical but a unique form of connection where feeling loved and worthy are inextricably linked for men. He recounts his own childhood excitement about the prospect of having sex as comparable to becoming wealthy, viewing it as a goal that propelled him forward toward worthiness. This perspective contrasts sharply with current cultural attitudes, such as mocking women's bodies or treating relationships like business transactions where one party extracts value from another. The transcript concludes by asserting that for men and women to function healthily within the evolutionary framework intended by nature, there must be a return to a dynamic where responsibility is shared but distinct: men bear full personal responsibility for their lives while women help shape them into better individuals through genuine connection rather than antagonism or detachment.
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young men are not getting laid and we
saw the viral, you know, 2018 stat of
like it jumped up and we just didn't
have any stats past COVID and we're
like, do you think it got better in
COVID or worse during COVID? And we
finally we finally got the stats, so
>> right?
>> It's way worse.
No way that that got better.
So, this is the update.
>> Look at that.
>> So, young male virginity rates. Share of
young men under the age of 30 report
zero female sex partners since they
turned 18.
>> I mean, that is like proper exponential
growth.
>> The housing market crashed and then it
got real bad since then. That was it.
That was it.
>> Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to figure out
like do you feel like you have a thesis
on that point and like what the hell
happened?
>> 100%. This is very simple. It's a
confluence of events. Getting mocked is
huge. Being afraid of getting meat toed
is huge. Effect of we'll call it social
media, but dating apps, social media,
all of that where hypergamy kicks in.
Right now, we are in a period where
women tolerate
a guy who's sleeping with multiple
women. And so, now a small number of
guys, thanks to the dating apps and
thanks to shifting culture, are able to
monopolize a huge amount of uh sexual
access to females. And then men have
numbing things as well. So, they've got
pornography and they've got video games.
And so, they've got things that like
>> the new graph update.
>> She be saying all of the things.
>> launched in 2016.
>> that one is still such a trip to me. You
can get your porn for free.
>> But again, I mean, you understand though
why OnlyFans is so big.
>> you what it is, but to your point,
because I'm fed like a steady diet of
deep emotional connection, intimate
conversations, like really and I mean,
look, the one gift I wish I could give
people is to share a life with somebody
who really puts you first. Woo. It
there's just nothing better. From my
perspective, because I have that, it
just seems so wild. It's the one thing
that I never And I try to put myself
back in the days before I unlocked the
key to being good with women and my
sexual market value. I want to be always
very clear about that. Running it like a
business would just be so apparent to
me. And in fact, I've never been
bamboozled by strip clubs. So, I would
not have been bamboozled by this. I know
that the women are on the clock. I know
that their job is to extract as much
money from me as they can. And so, I am
so aware of the game that's being played
that it would stop me from ever being
like, "Oh, this is a cool relationship."
>> you feel like guys nowadays have just
become more gullible, or the hole has
been so deep
>> that the hole is so deep that they're
okay with it.
>> Yeah.
>> That just like a video game can be a
proxy enough to something that you're
like, "Oh, this is dope." I mean, even
talking to an AI actually made me feel
like I have a writing partner. I can't
believe this trick works on me. So, it's
really possible that they've just gotten
so slick at the communication that you
really you're like, "This isn't quite
real, but I feel the thing I want to
feel." The one that freaks me out more
than anything is it really does feel
like We saw that uh DSA, Democratic
Socialists of America, where they were
talking about uh the only difference
between prostitution and marriage is the
price and the length of the contract.
And so, I'm like, if I'm walking up to
somebody
If If I'm walking up to somebody who
might hold that belief, I'm like,
and might film me and be like, "Yo, this
guy's a creep." Like, when you think
about like Aziz Ansari and like what he
went through for just being awkward,
it's like, "Yo, that is so crazy." So, I
get why people would back off.
>> I know people have talked about
overpopulation, but now it's all about,
you know, we're losing the amount of
kids, replacement level. But, I'm seeing
so much sentiment of like, "Who cares?
This is good. Like, great."
>> Like, they're they don't miss it.
>> Yeah. They're like, "This is amazing.
Like, this this is great for our our
issues. This is less issues.
>> Okay, so I I will give the pitch that
people always give me about having kids.
Because you haven't done it, you don't
know what you're missing. That is true
about having children. I am well aware
of that. And so I constantly think
about, okay, what's the thing that I'm
doing that becomes the trade-off that's
going to make that worth it. So first of
all, Lisa and I tried to We had a guest
on the show that we've gotten to know
quite well. Their kids were in town.
We're like, "Oh my god, bring them over
to the house. Like let them swim." Lisa
put out art supplies cuz one of them
likes to draw. One of them happened to
be like super into anime and manga. So
I'm like showing them all the
collection. And so you get enough of
that energy. My sister has Her best
friend has kids and so we'll game with
them. And so I try to have interactions
with kids in my life. We have these
neighborhood kids that play in our
bushes. They've never once uh talked to
us or anything. But Lisa and I are like,
"If that is the small contribution that
we can make to kids having a good
childhood is to let them trample our
bushes, like not a problem. Like we want
to see people having fun." So we try to
at least get like those little bits. So
when it comes to relationships, the
thing that I would say for people is
when you share a life with somebody,
one, they shape you, which is
tremendous. Two, the human mind desires
connection so aggressively that um this
was another thing we were talking to
Andrew Bustamante about. I think it was
actually his wife Gigi who said, "Oh,
one of the ways that you target somebody
is you know that they need connection."
And so you can get people to confess the
most outrageous [ __ ] just because you're
their friend, you're there. And part of
American CIA statecraft, tradecraft,
excuse me, is to build real friendships.
I'm like, "Real friendships with
dirtbags?" Like, "Yeah. Like you really
want people to build real authentic
friendships." And I was like, "Damn."
That level of connection is important.
>> some feedback. Yeah, I'm getting some,
yeah.
>> A good point that other people are
saying that we need to talk about, which
is you can't talk about this trend
without talking about the Andrew Tates
and Fresh and Fits of the world and
their effect on this.
>> I would say Andrew Tate reminds me of
Donald Trump in that he is a symptom
long before he is a cause. What happens
is you get guys that are being made fun
of, told they're not enough, they're
finding it impossible to climb the
social ladder, and that is very
demoralizing. It's going to make you
feel some kind of way. And then someone
like a Tate will rise up in the same way
that Momodou rises up when people feel
disenfranchised from housing. You get a
guy that's like, "I got you, bro." When
you feel like you're not being
recognized as a man, you're not being
celebrated for masculinity, you're not
being pushed to be better. And cuz once
as a guy you're pushed to get stronger,
to get tougher, like a flywheel that
exists entirely in your own mind takes
over, and it feels incredible. And so
I've said many times one of the greatest
gifts that a man can give himself is to
get physically strong. Like when you go
through the transformation of going into
the gym, lifting heavy weights, at my
peak I could deadlift almost 400 lb. And
look, by standards it's not a lot, but
that felt so good to go from like I can
only deadlift let's say 185 lb to like
working my way up up up up up up up up
up. You're like, "Okay, this makes me
feel some kind of way." I have a feeling
people that do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu feel
the same way, like I'm in control, I can
fight, I can defend myself. And so there
are things that take over in the brain.
So anyway, you're feeling
disenfranchised as a man, nobody's
pushing you to get better, you're not
getting any attention back from females,
and then this former nerdy guy turned
kickboxer who makes a lot of money, gets
a lot of girls, is in great shape, he
can fight, comes on the scene and is
like, "Fuck everybody who tells you
you're not the man, you're the man. [ __ ]
all these hoes." You're going to be
like, "Yeah, [ __ ] all these hoes." Like
they make me feel bad, this guy makes me
feel good. And as
for people that know how I got started
on YouTube, it was all mindset. So it
was doing the like, "Listen, you can
really do something with your life." And
we used to do these things called impact
quotes, and I would take two or three
quotes, and I would do like an improv,
almost like spoken word
poetry aggrandizes it a little bit too
much, but they were
They were very
And so I was trying to like hype people
up and take them on this journey and
make them feel that they could do
anything. And so people would put them
on a loop. They would string a bunch
together, and they would just listen to
me for like an hour in the gym while
they worked out. You know, I mean just
you can do anything you set your mind
to. You got to do this, but you have to
be aware of that.
You really can manipulate somebody's
neurochemistry by doing that kind of
performance. I think Tate is best
understood as a WWE character who has
risen to popularity specifically because
people already feel like that. He puts
words to it and tells them I can pull
you out of this. That to me feels like a
cause and effect. Like you're If men
feel that way, that kind of character
will rise.
>> Yeah, and I think again, if we look at
the chart, it's not like his popularity
popularity grew right at that pivot
point. It was really after this really
kicked off right at the height.
>> This [ __ ] already started happening.
>> Correct. And so he was the answer to it
for some people. When I would hear the
pushback, first you got to understand
why, again, what's the the actual cause
behind his success, but also is there
anyone else, let's say, on the other
side? Where's the positive divine
masculine figure that's really being
like pushed by culture? Like who is
that? Like give us that person. Yeah,
where are they? Like ultimately I think
that's what culture is looking for.
There was a time early on when Jordan
Peterson Peterson was kind of seen as
internet's dad kind of thing. And then
he went down for a little bit, and then
like people tried to cancel him, all
this other stuff. And then I feel like
more radical people have filled in those
gaps.
>> honestly, the closest person is probably
Rogan. He is very smart. Very wealthy.
Uh funny, very successful at his job,
yolked. He is
>> that the culture has turned on him and
saying no, he's the toxic masculine
again.
>> Like he's still massive. Massive,
massive, massive. There for sure people
on the left have turned on him because
masculinity is viewed negatively. It's
absolutely absurd.
>> But you're saying, what does the left
consider to be the positive? Cuz there
are plenty of positive versions of
masculinity being put out by people that
lean right.
>> Right.
>> And so, people on the right have plenty
of people that they can look up to. But
if you reject masculinity out of hand,
if you're an effete intellectual, it's
like, okay, then. But even that, like,
look up to somebody like Jordan
Peterson. Like, if that's your bag. But
I don't think that that is something
that has a flywheel internally, and I
don't think the left has a positive
masculine vision. But that the whole
left and right divide thing feels like a
different problem to me.
>> We can't talk about this problem in
isolation, but there are different
layers that stack up against it. So,
yes, they're not having sex. The young
male grads are just as jobless as the
people who have degrees, so they're not
>> really fast, cuz I I you're going
somewhere very important, but when we
first uh pitched talking about this, the
thing that I actually want to talk about
is sex. I don't think people fully
understand what sex is for a man. And
so, there is in a relationship, for
sure, I will tell you the quote that has
given me the highest predictive validity
is that a woman needs to feel loved to
have sex, and a man needs to have sex to
feel loved. So, there is a feedback
loop. I can feel it in myself, where sex
is really a thing. It's a a totally
unique form of expression, a totally
unique form of connection. And if
anybody has kids in the car, now's the
time to take them out, cuz I I I I
really mean this seriously, and I'm
going to talk about this as um sort of
plainly as I can, but I'm going to say
things that are very strange. You and I
were talking about this off camera. I
really really mean this. We were talking
about the dildos being thrown on the
court of the WNBA, and I was like, I
really hate this. I have a really strong
reaction to this. It is a a mockery and
a threat of a gift that women give. And
the thought of being sexually receptive
is so crazy to me. I can't believe that
women are willing to do that. I cannot
believe that they are willing to put
their body in an insanely vulnerable
position to allow me to place a part of
myself inside of them. It is an act of
such generosity of kindness. I don't
know. It It's For me, when a woman has
sex with you, she is saying at the
deepest level, you are worthy. Pick a
mic up just so you can drop it. Like
that, yes. That's very profound. And to
feel that and have somebody
uh look at you in the eye in a positive
way is amazing. Plus, I mean, obviously
you can get Sex is a very complicated
thing, and we're describing something
that's far more tender, and it is
certainly not always that. But like,
that act is a thing. And I remember as a
kid being like, "Oh my god, one day I'm
actually going to have sex." And it was
like, I could not believe it. And I
remember that emotion so well. And I was
like, "This is going to be awesome." And
I was as excited about actually one day
getting to have sex as I was about one
day being rich. Those were like the two
big like I can't believe my future
contains I'm going to be rich and I'm
going to have sex. This is
I really was over the moon about it.
That propelled me forward becoming
worthy, becoming the kind of man that a
woman would be willing to do that for.
And it's like I try not to take that for
granted. I try to make sure that I'm
earning that that level of gift,
connection, whatever with my wife. And I
feel like that's getting lost in all of
this. And when you get antagonistic
towards women, you make it so much less
likely that you will ever get her to
cross that because now it's like, "We're
what? At war?" And you somehow expect
her to make herself vulnerable to you in
that way? Like it's just wild. I see
Okay, so on the woman side, when I see
that chart, you know, that looks insane.
The woman What the market is telling me
is the women are like, "There are no men
worthy." And yeah, they're all in their
mothers' basements. They're all They
don't have jobs. They don't have all
these things. And I'm sure Drew will
have all the stats to back that up.
>> you a real hot take?
>> Mhm.
>> Oh god.
>> Give me
>> believe this, so I'm going to say it. I
think the way that evolution made us,
women are meant to help men become men.
>> They are the natural selection.
>> They Well, they're the sexual
gatekeepers for sure, and that creates a
natural selection, but I'm talking about
something slightly different.
>> Interesting.
>> By pathologizing men's desire to get
laid, by pathologizing that men do a lot
of things simply to get laid, by saying
that that's a bad thing, we have broken
this sort of like time-honored thing of
like, "Okay, ladies, you got to make him
jump through hoops to prove that he can
become a stable, well-adjusted man in
order to get access to sex." And men
will do all this crazy [ __ ] get their
life together, get a job, get get steady
work, make money, so that they can get
laid.
>> Mhm.
>> And because we said, "Ah, that's
disgusting. That's horrible. These men
are terrible." We broke Women are now
like, "Yeah, [ __ ] Like, what is that?"
What I got very fortunate that I
found a woman who was raised to be the
most traditional woman you could
possibly imagine. And so, I got a good
decade or more with Lisa where she
interfaced with the world through me.
And she pushed me to be a better version
because she wasn't interfacing with the
world directly. It was like, "We're only
going to get paid what my husband gets
paid." And so, now I'm going to push him
to do better, to get more skills. Hey,
take that move. Take that risk. Yeah, go
there. Do that. Like, she was always
behind me pushing me to be more, to be
better. And I wanted to earn her
respect, and I wanted to keep having sex
with her. So, it was like, there was a
lot of things that I would do just to
impress my wife. I wanted to be a better
writer to impress my wife. I wanted to
do better in business to impress my
wife. I've wrote written so many cards
because they're true to my wife saying,
"Everything I do, I do to impress you."
We made that toxic. And so, now, through
all the things that we've talked about,
plus this idea, you've got men there's
nobody pushing them to be a better
version. They're going to OnlyFans, and
it's like, "Well, if you can pay the
money or whatever,
you can jerk off, great." But like, you
can imagine, they're not trying to
elevate you. They're not trying to make
you a better version. They aren't
connected to you in a way where it's
like, "Well, we we go, we succeed or
fail together, and so now we're going to
work as a unit."
>> responsibility in that relationship?
>> Men have got to bear responsibility for
their own lives. This is your whole
schtick is you need to be the one with
the massive amount of personal
responsibility. And women need to
understand, "Hey, this is part of the
dynamic between men and women." And when
that breaks, if you're wondering why
there's no good men, well,