The Procrastination Method You Shouldn't Tell Anyone About...Yet

probably don't tell your friends about the videos you're watching here or about the book I've written. At least not until you've put it into practice. Okay? I'm going to give you a little heads up on something. Um, you may watch my videos. If you do, I'm so grateful that you watch them. You may watch these videos. You may read the the new book I have out there um after you don't show up where in which I talk about a very very counterintuitive approach to personal productivity and overcoming procrastination. And I think a lot of people who are openminded to it read it and think, "Yeah, that's a pretty good idea. It's weird maybe, but it's a good idea." And um because I've I've heard a few people and they've said I was I was doing what the book suggests and I was mentioning it to other people and people said it's nuts or that it's ridiculous or it won't work. BS [laughter] and um that can be fair point. I mean it's a book right? There's 160 pages in it to explain the reasoning behind it. And you want to be careful when you're trying something for the first time and you're casually explaining to people what you're doing because when people hear if if people hear a casual explanation for what I'm talking about here, they're going to dismiss it, right? Because it doesn't make it's it's it's so it's too counterintuitive. People will think that is insane what you're trying to do there. That won't work. And they'll probably tell you and that might discourage you, right? So, I wouldn't want you to get discouraged by that. So, I'll give you an example, right? Um, this is what it could sound like in a conversation. So, you might say, I'm trying this new method for personal productivity. Okay, tell me about it. What is it? Well, basically, I tell myself I'm going to do the thing, and if I don't do it, I don't do it for the rest of the day. Right now, that is true. That is what the book says, right? If I I said I was going to do something and if I didn't if I don't do it, I don't do it for the rest of the day. You tell that to somebody who has never heard of this before or certainly maybe never read that book. What are they going to think? They're going to think you've lost it or what the hell are you reading? [laughter] Because again, it's a very counterintuitive idea. It goes into the whole problem of reflex promises and how trust is eroded etc etc. Really it's because the book isn't about personal productivity as such. Yeah that's a great side benefit to it but it's all about selfrust and the erosion how our self trust gets eroded. So you might be better off telling them if you want to tell them something tell them that you're reading a book on selfrust rather than personal productivity because if people hear that idea they're going to dismiss it. They will. Okay. So it takes um a little bit of nuance with that. So the other way people can hear uh let's say you tell them about this idea. Um another aspect of the method is that um I don't okay I didn't show up today. Let's say then the day is closed and I can try again tomorrow. The opportunity to recommit opens up again tomorrow but today it's closed. Right? What that sounds like is so you do it tomorrow. you tell yourself you're going to do it tomorrow instead. And people there's like a such an association with basically people think procrastination is telling yourself you're going to do it tomorrow. So if people hear that you're reading this book that says uh just tell yourself you'll do it tomorrow, they're going to think well that's obviously insane. That's what that's not going to work. Now the nuance in it in the book is that it's actually not telling yourself you're going to do it tomorrow, right? It sounds like that. Sounds eerily similar to that. But that's not what the book is suggesting. The method says it's about telling yourself that today is closed. It's about telling yourself when you won't recommmit as opposed to when you will recommit as in tomorrow, right? So, it just happens to be that tomorrow is the next time you can do it. But it's not about doing it tomorrow. It's about saying today it won't happen. Because what we're trying to do is introduce decisiveness and clarity to things. not having the decisions looming over us and always be open, always open for discussion and debate and internal arguments with ourselves. When we close the day, we get clarity, stability, we're more grounded. And we also mo most importantly have now we have some space when we're not trying to scramble to to recommmit and repromise to get it done. We have space to stop and pause and look back and say what happened there honestly without judgment. what what were the real contributing causes to the fact that I wasn't able to follow through on something that I committed to? And you'll look at that and you'll realize, well, one of the first things that comes up is, well, I guess I'm lazy. But now, you see, when you're not trying to salvage the day, you're going to realize, well, that explanation there, I'm sorry, that's not going to cut it. That explains nothing. What really happened? overwhelmed, took on too much, poor boundaries with other people, with other demands, lack of communication for space than I needed. Now, we're really getting somewhere. And with that sort of level of insight as opposed to basic judgment, we're going to actually have a much better chance of engaging moving forward with it. Okay? what this video is about. Be careful about sharing this idea casually with somebody, right? I'd much prefer that you demonstrate to people that this works rather than telling them about it, right? Um so do the method. The method tells you it it invites you to try it for 5 days and usually within that 5 days selfrust reemerges. It doesn't take long for selfrust to come back. takes a long time for it to to erode it right through constantly recommitting and not following through. But when once you realize ah the whole thing hinges on what I don't do after I uh what I do after I don't show up and it's in not recommitting it's stopping and pausing and reflecting you realize ah okay this is actually pretty straightforward I'm no longer undermining some of my self trust my start times and my commitments actually mean something I need to slow down with them and you'll start to show up right and within about three five days your your your self trust will return and then you're going to start engaging with this whatever your goals are and you're going to notice I'm becoming consistent. Then after you've done that, tell everybody about it. Tell anyone you want about it, but don't do it. Be careful about doing it when you're in the middle of it or you're just considering trying it or you think it's a good idea. This it is a good idea but the whole point about this is that it has to be lived. It has to be experienced. The the return of selfrust is like like a light bulb going off over your head or going on over your head, right? It's like oh ah yeah at some point in the 3 five day period you going to have a a light bulb going on. I get this now. I realize that my commitments were wishful before. Now they're not wishful. Now they actually mean something. Right? It's about insight, slowing down, being decisive. That's the trick. Once you do that, you're putting that into practice, you're becoming consistent. You tell that to anybody you want after you've lived it and you know it works. Someone tells you, "Well, that sounds ridiculous." You will not bat an eyelid because you know it works because you've experienced it yourself. Okay. So, so this is I I don't have any sort of defensiveness around people saying that that idea is ridiculous. Why? It's not because I'm defending the idea. It's because I know it works. I know it works, right? Because I've lived it and I've seen it work with with other people. But more importantly, I've lived it and I still use it on a daily basis. Right? If I don't show up for something, we're done. Not doing that now. Um, and then it's going into not analyzing but figuring out, okay, I wonder what what was going on there. What was that resistance about? And usually almost always I get some sort of ah, all right, that's what was going on there. Okay, adjust that. Let's revisit that tomorrow. Let's let that shape the strategy. See, this thing the thing about not showing up for yourself, it's not bad. You're allowed to not show up. That's why the book is about what happens after you don't show up. It's not about not showing up. Not showing up is fine. You're allowed to not show up for something. Of course, the little inner inner critic will show up and say how bad you are and how terrible you are, right? But that's that's not even your voice, right? And it's not helpful in the least. That voice has never helped you one day in your life, believe it or not. But, um, once you once you start putting this method into practice, you'll see that it works. Okay? And uh by the way, doesn't have to work for everybody. Other people have different approaches. Other people like to do the discipline thing. And maybe that works for some people. And to them people, I say to those people, I say, "Awesome. Good for you. Keep doing whatever works for you." Really, there's there's a video I saw recently someone talking about like um how I think there's a new term I heard it was it was called grind slop. So there's this sort of criticism out there. Now I guess my videos could be perceived that way as sort of um critical of this grind slop stuff which is you know grind and wake up and have a shower and be on it and know what you're doing right etc etc and take things off the list morning routines and all that. This is what they're calling a grind slop or at least I've seen that in a video recently. And um I think there's a there's a growing backlash against that. But I think there's going to be an understanding that there needs to be balance, right? It can't be about emphasis on hustle culture all the time, but it can't also be about the fact that you don't need to do anything in your life, right? there there's going to be a f a balance with this. So I I even talk about in my book about hustle culture doesn't work. Compassion alone when practiced doesn't even work. Right? So there's there's a balance between both of those things. Two of those things both of those things have something valid to add to this or to contribute to this. But if we're stuck in one extreme, that's typically where we where we run into problems. Now the reason my book focuses on sort of you could see it as a anti-hussy hustle culture thing is that I think that has been the predominant me message for so long but um I am certainly not against getting things done taking action. I think most people want to do that and everybody wants to go after their goals right everybody wants to see growth. I would say the the most important word that's missing in the whole conversation is the word growth. People need to feel like they're growing in their lives and that is achieved through I another word that's that's missing in it is the word boundaries. People talk about discipline and compassion. I think a much use more useful word is the word boundaries there. Boundaries with yourself, boundaries with your own commitments. Okay, so that's uh maybe more nuance here than I maybe should have entered uh brought into this video. But the main thing just to close the video is that be careful who you talk to about this at the start when you're doing it because most people will not understand what this is because it's just too counterintuitive. Don't let it put you off. If people are dismissive of it, give it your best shot. You're only asked or invited to try it for 5 days. If you try it for 5 days, honestly, you have absolutely every right to say didn't work. That doesn't make any sense to me. And then, you know, trust yourself on that. I'm not here to defend uh the book, but give it a shot and just be careful about keep it yourself right for a while and then later on once you've had that aha moment, you're in much better position to have those types of conversations with people. Thanks for being with me and I really appreciate all the comments recently and uh I'll uh I always read them so I appreciate that. Take care of yourself and see you again in the next video. Bye-bye.