The Power of Vulnerability | Kerri Walsh Jennings on Impact Theory

if I'm doing something I'm doing it to win it whatever winning it means and to me I'm not going for silver like I'm not going for bronze I'm not going for fifth I'm not going for the experience I'm doing it for the growth along the way absolutely because I love growing as a human being if I fall short it's not going to be a failure everybody welcome to impact Theory you're here my friends because you believe that human potential is nearly limitless but you know that having potential is not the same as actually doing something with it so our goal with this show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams all right today's guest is arguably the greatest beach volleyball player the world has ever seen together with her longtime partner misty may-treanor they absolutely dominated the sport for more than a decade winning 21 consecutive Olympic matches in three back-to-back gold medals losing only a single set in their entire 11-year run as teammates she is one of only two people ever to be a four-time All American volleyball player and she has an Olympic bronze medal to go through three golds making her the single most decorated female Olympic beach volleyball player ever not bad considering she's played injured and even pregnant her work ethic unending drive and raw horsepower have made her not only a fan favorite but someone who has literally transcended the sport she's been sponsored by some of the biggest and most well respected companies on the planet including Lululemon pampers and the honest company to name but a few and she's become a household name not only for her unprecedented string of victories but for her infectious positive attitude Grayson defeat and unyielding determination even now as she's about to turn 40 she continues to push the limits of both herself and her sport and is preparing to make a run at an astonishing sixth Olympic appearance as we head towards the 2020 Games in Tokyo absolutely consumed by a desire to get better every day despite six surgeries on her shoulder and having appeared in her first Olympics before many of her fellow competitors were even born she continues to be one of the most elite athletes on the beach today and even though she hasn't even retired yet she recently launched a platform and movement called p40 40 that is poised to revolutionize the entire sport of beach volleyball so please help me in welcoming the Stanford grad mother of three and one of the greatest athletes of our generation regardless of the sport Kerri walsh-jennings that's the perfect reaction to that she's totally in coach that's exactly it so good wow that's a that is a lot and it was leaving things out and I love that response and I've seen you talk about that before where it's like you'll hear something in an interview something that you did and be like that makes me want to go push harder and how many more where does that drive come from man well I feel like I'm kind of preaching to the choir here with you know self motivation and this the intrinsic motivation I have to experience my potential and keep you know upping that and I just love what I do and I love life and I feel like my life is so damn simple with regard to what I want you know I want great relationships I want to kick ass in my career and I want to stay connected to my faith and within those three simple things like I live this really profound life and I don't want it to stop like I don't care the obstacle like I've had a lot of obstacles I had many more great moments and obstacles but I'm just [ __ ] hungry for more because I keep growing you know you've talked about finding your joy so how did you do that because a lot of like one of the number one questions I get asked is how to find that how to find happiness how to find passion yeah so how did you create that find that I was born with it I was certainly born with joy it was bred into me by my parents and I grew up in the most loving unconditionally loving environment and supportive environment possible truly my parents are rock stars I have four siblings who are incredible a million cousins and aunts and I was just always taught like and shown that life is meant to be lived with joy you know when you're doing something what's the point of doing it if you're not going to win and B you're not going to have fun you know and so I just feel like it's a bit of nurture and it's a bit of nature and I keep creating and finding these environments where that's a constant so it's one thing to know it it's another thing to actually cultivate it and create it in your life in fact I have a quote from you my weaknesses were exposed and it's a gift and I thought wow that's like I get it when you say that you were born into joy and the family obviously did a lot to make sure that they helped you bring that out but that that goes beyond just like life is good and goes to like a really intense and seems cultivated mindset so what's been your process to get to the point where you can actually say this sentence in all seriousness my weaknesses were exposed and that's a gift you know I I feel things very deeply and like my experiences I don't necessarily think really deeply about experiences but I [ __ ] feel them and I know that through every experience whether it's good and I'm triumphant triumphant or bad and I'm exposed there's opportunity in every single thing no matter what the face of it is you know defeat or victory and I've had just my life I've lived a lot of contrast and by contrast that means obstacles that means injuries that means failures that means you know I have heartbreak and within that having lived it truly and like letting myself feel exposed and vulnerable and letting myself learn and be devastated I've learned that there's [ __ ] positives and it fortifies you for whatever's next and there's always something that's next you know I'm never gonna get to a place and be like I'm here I'm done you know light let's call it quits like I'm in it for the long haul and I don't care it I'm gonna be 90 years old on my way to heaven still learning because that to me is what life is about and so when I say that my weaknesses were exposed and there's strength in it it's I believe in it with all my heart you know I like when there's a high light on you and it's the softest part of you and you're therefore have to look at it and either train it better or figure out why it's weak or whatever it is if you take advantage of that that's a beautiful powerful thing yeah I really agree with that and I don't know if you follow MMA at all and I cannot believe I'm blanking on her name right now but she was crazy dominant she had the armbar like she could just armbar anybody to death basically and she was undefeated forever ever ever and was just amazing and then she lost in spectacular fashion came back and then lost again and then just disappeared and everybody's like she's never gonna come back from this and I don't know enough about the situation to like give a detailed account but from the outside judging by what she said in interviews it was an unwillingness to face that it was entirely her fault yes that she just there were skills that she never took the time to develop to actually get good at so knowing that I think that's a far more typical way like looking at the amount that you won the fact he lost one set one set in 11 years is so crazy Austrian sister but like that string of success does not set you up to handle failure well and yet in failure you've been astonishing like I know you deal with sports psychology a lot like what how can you pass that on to anybody watching right now like what's that how did you process the failure I think it's just accountability and ownership of your part in any situation that is a failure you know Matt myself on the court I'm there to perform I'm there to you know elevate my partner's play in our team play and if I'm failing then am I gonna blame her am I gonna blame the Sun in my eyes like then I'm a victim and then I have no power same thing with relationships you know Britt before you came on here I was tell you about my husband we just got in a fight and I always want to take accountability of my [ __ ] you know and I mean I love to cuss I'm so so crazy Joe is the role model Goggins I can't wait together oh he's that [ __ ] explosive that was he is he swears a lot so you are I know but there's something so pure and true about it and I don't mean to sound you know unintelligent and ridiculous actually sounds really interesting and I don't want to derail you from your point but I will say that that you saying there's something pure and real like that's a part of your personality hopefully we can really explore in this interview because I find it fascinating so I think of and I really am derailing you from your point please because I lost it already I think of the mind is like a pachinko machine have you ever seen the same drop a ball or whatever and it bounces around so you start with a negative idea whatever that's gonna be and then you you create all these points of positivity that that negative thing bounces around and then by the end it's turned into a positive thought another way to think of it as mental jujitsu so what I've seen now so many interviews on you I have seen you one of the most fascinating things is to watch your talk about getting the bronze evolved and how you talked about it in the beginning versus how you talk about it now it's pretty interesting yeah and I feel working through it and and I get that and I the ability to be vulnerable and to always be looking for the positive and something seems incredibly wise is that is that intentional for you man no I think it's how I'm wired I think it's how I'm wired to see the positive in any situation and I think I've learned the hard way that focusing on the negative is gonna keep you there you know I'm a really big believer in the law of attraction you know what you focus on is what you're gonna invite in your life and just this past year I've had a since the bronze medal I've been living in this kind of really funky place of insecurity and like am I gonna let that defy me [ __ ] no and then defending myself and it feels really weak and terrible to me and I want to go to a place where I can own that performance own that beautiful bronze that is gonna serve me for less of my life without feeling defensive you know but it still hurts my heart you know that I had that performance and that my performance affected other people you know that's the bummer of everything so how do you conceptualize the bronze as a part of a journey and well can I bring you back to why that like how that came to my life life in my life so okay so I've been to five Olympic Games four of those were like the most glorious experiences ever like where I was really excited about every day and I was in everyday and living in the relationships are so important and valuable and you know just in it and smelling the roses along the way and like living the defeats but owning it and learning growing there was one Olympic experience which was on the way to Beijing misty and I were going to try to repeat and never been done in our sport you know the repeated gold medal so exciting and I was only focused on go metal and so day one of the quadrennial four years out from the Beijing Olympics I was only focused on four years from them and I literally could not be happy I could not connect with my relationships and I was so focused on the end result that I had a miserable four years there was some joy in it cuz we were winning a shit-ton and we were growing in the job of it was really fun but I totally totally lost connection with my husband my friends who I loved and I would travel around the world for two months in a row and I would you know write them letters and be connecting like I felt connected to them but I was so detached from them and so having lived that experience to Tokyo having won gold the moments at over after the celebrations over I'm literally miserable and empty and my my husband and I are hanging out in the hotel room and we are so disconnected and we are on this way down that was so sad and so ugly all because I was only focused on the end result and because and it was hard for me to accept this because my people are sacred to me and I honor them and I carry them with me wherever I go that allows me to play free and be free in my dreams and in my ventures but it was hard for me to be like [ __ ] man I blew this like I Casey I know how much you love me but I totally took of you for granted you know and so that was one experience that changed me forever and I will never ever live for the end-result anymore you know so fast-forward to to Rio and having won bronze it was a rad you know three years with April and it was so fun and there were so much great stuff going on and having you know suffered a bad defeat and had it had a terrible performance on the world's biggest stage on the way to go to the gold medal and losing that in retrospect I see why that happened you know I kind of created these monsters and things in my head that you know when you're feeling vulnerable if you're feeling vulnerable and you've kind of created these monsters the monsters gonna get bigger and then crunch time you know and so I don't know if that makes sense but I was so committed to living the journey in arena Rio I lived the journey I got a bronze devastation but there's so much beauty in that and that will always triumph that trumps that one defeat you know and that will serve me kind of moving forwards if I [ __ ] and result focus is it's great to have goals I need I need little goals on the way to big goals but to only be focused on the big wall at the end you're just gonna lose out in life how do you find that balance though so you said that you you felt like you're appreciated the choir with me about intrinsic motivation and I I really think it comes down to success at a high level demands a price and it's just a question of whether you're gonna pay that price or not now there are ways you can structure your life like Lisa and I build the company together but that's not easy like how do you and now as you focus on twenty twenty twenty which seems and correct me if I'm wrong it seems like you you want to go out back on top you want to get a goal so how do you avoid becoming overly obsessed and still make it worth going after like if it's just the journey is that the right part of the journey or is it like really owning the gold is the point here the gold is the goal so I also want to win a gold medal every single way every single day on the way to winning a gold medal in Tokyo you know and I feel like I didn't do that in Rio like I feel like my heart was in it but I compromised a lot on certain things and certain parts of my relationship with my partner and in one thing get hot and heavy if you're not fortified together and totally aligned shit's gonna happen you know and I take full ownership of that and I learned from that I'm gonna live that on the way to Tokyo and if I'm doing something I'm doing it to win it whatever winning it means and to me I'm not going for silver like I'm not going for bronze I'm not going for fifth I'm not going for the experience I'm doing it for the growth along the way absolutely because I love growing as a human being and the relationships that I have that just get deeper and richer and my life is so beautiful because of the journey to the games if I fall short it's not going to be a failure you know I'm not gonna talk like that like if like [ __ ] that I just want to talk I don't like talking about losing it's part of my job is to handle the losses and talking one of the points of contention with Mike Gervais and I am i support psychologist he's like you got to talk about losing like what if it happens like you need to be prepared for that I'm like [ __ ] that like I've lost too much in my career I know what that's like it's not life or death you know I almost lost my marriage that's a hundred million times worse I've lost love in my life that's a billion times worse this is just a game that fills me up so much that matters to me so much that's willing to risk and suffer the heartbreak if that happens you know and again those losses and that exposure through losses like I it said every single day but it's so true like you just learned so much more winning and you know winning like covers up a lot of [ __ ] you know and only like writing like in a feathered nest and perfect it's [ __ ] like it's beautiful I'm sorry for that I will never say like no I don't want the easy path like but I want to earn it and grow through it and that generally comes through the challenging times you know you know that very well yeah it's so now we're to that part of your personality that I hope we'd really get to one of the things that listening to you talk now it is so fascinating the level you're not trying to clean it up you're not trying to make it seem like something that it's not and this is where I get frustrated with people especially that now in the social influence game like they want to make it seem like it's really clean and my thing is if you want to be successful we have to hold to competing ideas in your head at the same time and if you can understand I want to win the [ __ ] gold I'm showing up for that reason and that reason only but what I'm really here for is the journey like they're both equally true Sabah and you have to know when to lean on one and when to lean on the other yeah well I've got this place in my life where people say like you know what are one of the biggest lessons you've learned and to me it's like not to compare myself to others because that's just a recipe for failure right I'm never gonna be you and never gonna be as articulate or passion there to convey myself like you do I'm never gonna have misty Mays hand or her ball control and I for so long I compared myself against the greats I mean like [ __ ] I'm falling short like I need to become them to become great which is just [ __ ] you know and once I stopped you know honestly comparing myself and owning myself and being inspired by them and stealing all the best parts of them and making my own like that is so much more powerful you know and so I want to do that for the rest of my life and I I'm not a literal person you know like I think there's all shades of grey and life as a [ __ ] rainbow and it's not black and white and thank God because I am like an in-the-moment person that I could dick myself from one to the next but I'm not bullshitting I get some my truth and this is my experience and I believe that we're always in flux and we're always expanding you know so please take me with a grain of salt but know that I mean my [ __ ] you know it's like this weird like there's so many that I caught a museum II and I feel like sometimes I'm nonsensical but I know what the [ __ ] I want and I Know Who I am and I know that what I want is gonna help me become more of a of what I am well it's interesting so I see very differently than I think you see yourself and that moment that we just went through is really surreal for me because Liz it I want you to imagine for can you feel the insecurity yes just working through which is absolutely incredible and I already know the comments we're gonna get on this you're gonna change people's lives the way that you are because what they're gonna hear is I want you to hear what I heard because it's what they're hearing they're literally listening to Michael Jordan say how [ __ ] I'm never gonna be as good as Scotty as this and you know I'm never gonna be as good as you know god I can't Charles Barkley at that like that that is so surreal like I get it I understand it like that's humans that's human nature we all go through that but like writing your intro and realizing like you haven't won by a little you've completely dominated the sport and like at some point every athlete like comes to a change in their career where they're not a player anymore maybe they're a coach or like what you're doing building up the entire industry that's just the nature of the human body at this point in our evolution right like yeah it does unfortunately have a shelf life and so for you to to still have those super like watching you makes you so accessible because you have the same vulnerabilities and insecurities that we all have but the part of your personality that is so special is your willingness to share it and I remember the first time I was watching an interview and you talked about what you and your husband went through and I was like Jesus like it was so real and there was like there was no filter and I was so grateful for it I take great pride in that like I take great pride in the fact that my husband might have literally been in hell together and we survived it and we worked our asses off on you know as ourselves individually and collectively and yeah I don't I don't know I I'm really sick of being insecure I'm [ __ ] sick of like I want to I want to turn this corner because I I believe I'm enough and I believe that everything I have that I need for life to make all my dreams come true I know it's already inside of me and this mental and emotional side of what I'm going through ever since bronze and there's like kind of [ __ ] up two years since then it's been gnarly you know and so I'm trying to get my footing in an honest way and I'm really trying to like focus on the positives but in the past year I think I was gonna say this before like I've been called out by two people I loved so much by being a [ __ ] liar by how I live my life because I'm too positive and they're like you need to be more honest with yourself and we're honest with the public and I'm like what the [ __ ] do you mean like I'm totally honest and they're like well not everything can be okay all the time and I'm like if you think everything's okay all the time with me what are you like what do you mean like so you resent me or think I'm being dishonest because I put a positive perspective on things like that's so unfair to me but but it caused me to look in the mirror and be like carry like are you full of [ __ ] you know like are you really proud of that bronze are you really in this for the journey are you no are you walking your talk and it's part of this kind of like weird shifting stands that I'm in where I have so much security and so much confidence saying that's [ __ ] that's who I am I know that's who I am but also being like [ __ ] I need to do better and I need to like grow from this and become more because it's feeling a little shallow right now even though I feel this so deeply does that make sense well I'm gonna push you on it a little bit so when you say that it feels shallow it feels shallow because that's what other people that you trust are reflecting to you or at you actually do feel like there's something deeper you can get to and you just don't have the words for it I think I can go deeper and I certainly don't have the words for it yet I think I need to go deeper by experience you know I think after Rio winning that bronze I need to go and experience more competing more life so I know that I'm still what I hope to be which is about us you know and I haven't really had that chance but I think also like like my talking points and the way I don't have talking points but I sometimes I feel like a [ __ ] soundbite and I don't want to be a sound by it like I want to be a human being and I really am and but I need to like change what I'm speaking because it's not resonating as deeply anymore and yet it's the only truth I know right now you know I'm saying like I'm a podcast junkie I listen do you [ __ ] all the time I listen Mike Gervais Tim Ferriss like I listened to amazing people and I'm really I'm really trying to work on my vocabulary because again I do feel so deeply but my language is pretty surfacey and I feel like life is so simple and that's the beauty in it but there's so much profound things to express and experience within the simplicity that I don't really know how to articulate you know and I have really [ __ ] hard moments and yet my face on social media is rainbows and sunshine because that's what I want to give to the world I'm not saying I you know I don't have issues in life I have plenty of them hard ones yeah I think the only logical place to go at this point is to dive into Bruce Lee to me the things that you say and I I want to fully acknowledge your saying it doesn't feel right anymore and hey fair enough but from the outside like I would literally point people at you and say do that like do the the raw vulnerability talk about things that are wrong like it is never once struck me and the hours of footage that I've seen on you it's never once struck me that you're trying to hide or pretend but there is as Bruce Lee has taught us there is a lot of power in ownership owning your mistakes spinning it seeing how it's not a limit it's a plateau you can pursue that plateau if you hold yourself accountable to that I mean the whole book I don't know if you've read it but the the Dow of jeet kune do-- which is his book about martial arts and and what he went through with the motorcycle accident and how everybody told me is never gonna walk again and if he walked he would never do martial arts and yet everything that we know about Bruce Lee was after all of that and so it's like when people allow themselves to to overly focus on the things that are wrong and that there is bad stuff in the world and all that and all that's true but it doesn't serve you so my thing is like start with your goal what's your goal and work backwards and so one that's on my list of things to talk to you about so I know that you just said I need to have small goals that lead to a big goal and I don't yet see and if you can help me understand I don't see how overly focusing on how things really are bad would serve you in getting your goals it doesn't I don't think it serves me at all like I think it's just an experience to experience when bad things show up but I don't want to focus on it I want to learn from it and move on like I'm not afraid of my dark side I'm not afraid of my mistakes they still hurt me you know they drive me but I'm not a believer in that like it's a [ __ ] choice to be positive and you know some days it's easier than others and it's a and but it you know it's just if I can be cynical and negative or positive and optimistic about the future like I know what I'm going to choose every single time and doesn't call it doesn't mean it's [ __ ] I couldn't agree with you more and how often do you use sounding boards whether it's a psychologist or just friends how much is internal how much is external I'm a yapper oh you know and I I don't have a ton of friends but I have a really amazing group of core friends and I use them I first sure use them and that's something that I had to grow into um certainly you know growing up I was taught to not complain you know just do your [ __ ] and I make no excuses and you know take care of yourself and I think it's a beautiful way to grow up but it really scared me from raising my hand in life and now that I've gone through life and I'm a mother and I have three kids and a husband and I have all these things I'm doing I know that you have to raise your hand and ask for help and I know that there's so much wisdom in other people that you allowed them to bring to the table so I used my sounding boards I'm so grateful for them I'm never the smartest one in the room I'm never the one who knows the most [ __ ] about anything and so it's a beautiful thing in my life to have people that I trust that are like-minded and the fact that we don't really believe in shelf lives I believe that things are gonna shift I don't want to be a competitive athlete forever but I believe my body can keep getting better in a lot of great ways and I believe myself as a whole human can keep any better in a lot of ways them and my people believe that too so on my tough days of my days where I'm feeling insecure or whatever it is I look to you I look to them to my best friends and they all kind of get me a repointed where I want to go love that I want to go back to what you were saying about your kids and how you grew up so when you say that I get super inspired right that I unfortunately I wasn't taught to like be hardcore and dig in and so I had to learn that lesson much later in life what do you plan to teach your kids like whether or not cuz I know that the question get asked all the time is you know are your kids athletic are they gonna you know go on to be champions like you and your husband to both professional volleyball players so but how do you I have back up I have a hypothesis to create somebody that good you have to find a way to put a chip on their shoulder and as a parent I don't know that I could do it which is one of the reasons I don't have kids because I want that level of success for them but I knowing what it takes what I fear it takes requires like a little bit of like the hard edge to figure it out letting them fall the life does that anyway right it's not my job I think to create that chip like I don't want resentment for my kids and I don't think that's what you're saying but like I my kids more teach me than I teach them you know I remind them to be respectful I remind them to be kind the way they speak I remind them that if they signed up for something they have to finish it and have to do it right like I feel like that's my job is to guide them in that way but my kids on the flip side of it are reminding me to be playful and to have [ __ ] fun in life and a smile and to engage and be curious about learning about new stuff of myself you know and that to me is way more powerful is gonna serve me way better in life than the flip side of it but my kids are rad and they're good human beings their souls they're so wise and I just don't want to get in the way you know I don't want to teach through words because my words are imperfect and we all have our different definitions of certain words and vocabulary I want to teach their example through the good in the bad and my husband and I are pretty transparent with our with our kids you know when we fail we fail in front of them when we fight we argue in front of them which I don't know if that's the best but they see us and sometimes I see them looking like you guys gonna make it through this you know and it kind of brings us back to what's important but the accountability that my kids have given me is beautiful and then I'm just trying to you know to bring out the lions and the kings and queens instead of them that's cool it's cool way to say it so what is the example that you hope that you're setting for them like what are like three or four key attributes that you want them to embody themselves man I think leaving with love I think is a really beautiful thing love for yourself first and foremost and love for what you're doing like you're never a victim in life I don't I really don't believe that regardless of circumstance you can choose to not be a victim and I would like to be an example of that being kind is never out of fashion and it's never going to lead you astray personal accountability is huge I mean my parents were really like if you're gonna do something do it the right way never make excuses and if I can do it with a smile like those are the three things in my life that my parents told me and they modeled that for me and if I could just hit on those three things with my kids I think they'd be very successful why do you think it's so important not to make excuses what's the [ __ ] point like again it's kind of bringing me it keeps you there and it keeps you weak and soft you know if you own it then you're gonna transform that whatever weakness excuse whatever into something powerful but if you make an excuse for it you're just kind of accepting failure to me you're not owning it I hear that so I want to go back to Bruce Leakes I never asked what is it about Bruce Lee that you are so drawn to you tweet that guy out like almost every day are you I do I think just the essence of him is just so beautiful and powerful to me like he was just he seemed to be so like an apology an apologetic Lee himself and therefore unfuck with a bull which is like what I aspire to be in life unconditional in his values and his principles I just really like what he stood for you know and I think he is timeless I just appreciate the essence of him because he was entirely human you know he's kind of like what Michael make what made Michael Jordan so incredible is the Michael Jordan assem you know his skills were incredible but [ __ ] his heart his soul is it he is untouchable with regard to the greats in any sport I believe and I would put Bruce Lee in that category I would put Muhammad Ali in that category because it's there something in essence of them that transcends everything and they lived it well let's talk about that essence so it's something that I find very very interesting I have Jordan hanging above my fireplace I don't follow sports at all so when I say that that is there not as a reference to sports whatsoever it is to me a nod I don't want to give you my answer I want to hear like what is what to you is the essence of Jordan like what made him the greatest of all time to me he showed up every single day with all of himself all themselves and the essence of Jordan was that he his soul was on display like his vulnerabilities his insecurities his [ __ ] power were on display every single day I love that when he got inducted to the Hall of Fame he called out all the haters and he called out his losses and I think that's so beautiful because I know that he was so largely confident in his life but I know those [ __ ] haters tapped into the softest part of him and made him say what if they're right on his weakest moments I know he had moments of that like [ __ ] what if they're right what if I'm not as good as my stats show or whatever it is and I know that allowed they allowed that to fuel him and I love that he just owned it all [ __ ] he had no apologies that's beautiful and he wasn't a dick like he was so confident in cocky but I totally tolerable for me because he lived it you know I'm saying current some athletes where I'm like ah it's a bit much you know like [ __ ] but because he was so authentic do you know what I mean like Steph Curry to me the kid can do no wrong because he just [ __ ] owns it and he's being true to himself and that's really beautiful he's consistent you know the Masters are consistent and the consistent at the highest level and it's not just about the performance it's about what like the power behind the performance which to me is a soulful spiritual thing it's funny that you ended on that as well because you said it in the middle the power his power was on display and it gave me the chills but he gave me the chills not because of Jordan gave me the chills because a you and your your wedding ring says six feet of sunshine which i think is very cool but the part that I'm responding to is a six feet which by the way I'm gonna challenge it's two in a bit like we said [Laughter] six two in a bit exactly there you go that that I'll believe that and you a lot of tall women try to look shorter and you definitely do not do that and you play with authority and you play with power and I think that somebody who wants to live as an example I think you're such an incredible example of what power looks like in a woman and it it is aggressive it is dominant it is forceful it it's no apologies and what what does that word power mean to you like how much how important is that to you to pass on to your daughter um power to me is almost a dirty word because that's not what I'm after I love powerful like I love that thought and the gravity behind that but [ __ ] man I just I think there's so much beauty in authentic leadership and when people show up again and with that essence which I don't have more words to go more depth with you I would love to hear your words about Michael Jordan and what made him great in his power but you know I just think power comes from living authentically and being where you're at and always striving for more and when I feel most powerful I will be smiling and I will be going through the for your throat with the sharpest knife I have and I will be having so much fun and respecting you at the same time you know like that to me is beautiful like my ultimate like the way I can respect my competitors most is to try to [ __ ] crush them because I honor them like make me better bring good what do you got I'm gonna make you better you know and that to me is a beautiful thing in life you know me showing up with all of me feeling insecure like rambling not knowing I'm staying with you like that's there's what I got right now but I'm gonna give you everything I got you know some days it's cleaner than others but I think that's the fun part of life and for my daughter I just want her to be herself which she owns herself so much and I never want to change that same thing refer my boys that's really interesting especially as it relates to finding ones you know power powerful as you said that's really interesting so my breakdown at Michael Jordan I'll just steal straight from Tim Grover who was his strength and strength and conditioning coach and he said Michael Jordan has darkness and inside of him is a need to win that is so crushing that he'll do what ever it takes he will suffer anything he will pay any price to be great and I'll say he'll pay any price within his code of ethics I think it's always important to say that because for me that is the truth I will pay any price within my code of ethics to get what I want and so I'm not gonna step on people backstab lie or anything like that but beyond that I will take myself to my physical limits to my emotional limits and beyond and that to me is the joy and I think that's why I resonate with you it's like you you can say in like the sweetest way possible I'm coming for your throat yes I have like I love that so much and wish I could talk duper but the thing is I totally get it and that's the fun right like you you want to play at the highest level and you want them to show up and play at their highest level and I'm going to guess that it would hold no joy for you whatsoever if they let you win [ __ ] I'd be insecure I heard this in a podcast this top performer total wolf like mercedes-benz driver I think formula 1 but maybe not that he was like I'm I'm always skeptical of my success and that resonated so deeply with me and I think that's probably the dark side of Jordan or you have to keep [ __ ] yeah this desire to prove and prove and prove not to the world like love you all but [ __ ] you and this is about me knowing that I'm good enough and I'm capable and having not sit well with me like it's amazing to be loved by so many like I'm so grateful to have the support that I have but sometimes it makes me insecure because it doesn't I'm like I don't deserve that like I need to keep proving myself and I think proving that statement like I don't want to have to prove myself I just want it to feel good within me you know job well done is a job that feels good when you're done doing it you know regardless of the outcome so yeah I will have Darkseid's I love that that yeah that was incredible and and I really agree about I don't want to live there whether it's insecurities whether it's aggression I don't want to live with either of those things but they are incredibly powerful tools and I'm certainly not afraid to look at them to see what they can teach me about myself how can they help me improve my skills so that I can get better and push forward at all sure yeah so you've been an incredibly adaptive player and you've talked about how my body's changed is still there for me I really believe I can do this and most importantly even though there are your words a lot of miles on my body I've gained a lot of wisdom in that process so what does this phase of your career look like and what is so important to you about P 1440 and what's the plan moving forward well you know this next phase so I'm on a parallel path like I am on the path to Tokyo 2020 I went in gold I'm not even gonna say ideally the plan is to qualify the plan is to win and have a [ __ ] ton of fun along the way the other path that I'm on is to you know revolutionize and repackage the way our sport is brought to market beach-volleyball it's incredible and so I want to do both those simultaneously and I want to stay connected to my nearest and dearest because I never want to experience what I experienced before which is losing touch with that which matters most with Ehrman people so those are three pretty [ __ ] big things you know and there's a lot of scariness you know where I'm an entrepreneur now like I'm trying to build this stuff and I'm also want to live in my power and be better than ever as I compete and I don't know how I'm gonna do all this but I know that I'm gonna work my ass off I know I'm gonna surround myself by people who know what they're doing and who can elevate me and I know that I'm willing to do what it [ __ ] takes I'm not willing to sacrifice my family you know like I I don't really believe in sacrifice in my life because everything is a choice the one thing that comes closest to that is my family time you know like I I'm away a lot and I'm chasing dreams and I'm doing a lot of phone calls and I'm doing this [ __ ] and that feels like a sacrifice but the other day I sat down with my boy and I'm like babe do you know why I'm doing this like I want you to know like when you're building something and chasing big dream like it's not always gonna be fun and playful and you know I can't always do everything that I want to do but you are always there and I'm trying to explain to him like kind of the give-and-take of life and taking the good with the challenging but [ __ ] me on this next journey like I I love my sports so much and I want to leave it better you know when I check out the one I came in and if I were to leave today I couldn't say that like the top level the sport is it's not good it's shanty like the kids are it's a hobby it's really sad but underneath the top it's the most amazing [ __ ] gangbusters there's a millions and millions and millions almost you know 900 million people around the globe play volleyball that's incredible 25 to 40 million in the US play volleyball like we are not a niche sport we are ginormous but at the top we're niche so we need to flip out on this edge and in order to do that we're creating this platform P 1440 and we're gonna like everything that makes the beach pilot viable lifestyle so incredible everything that the athletes do to live an optimal life with regard to health and wellness personal development you know the music the entertainment the way they educate themselves we're gonna have on on our event sites and then on our technology platform because we want to scale we want people in [ __ ] Brazil to hang out with us every single day we're a go-to resource for them to develop themselves and so selfishly it's a way for me to grow my sport it's a way to for me to keep evolving and learning and growing and to give back to the world that which I'm so fortunate to have which is experts on call and how are you learning because being an entrepreneur is is new for you so what are you applying to how you learned volleyball to being an entrepreneur man I I feel like an idiot every single day you know I'm man I I'm just everything that I've learned from being a mommy and an athlete being nimble being adaptive you know teamwork communication perseverance being [ __ ] gritty for what you love taking the good with a bad like all of these things are serving me very well always focusing on what I want not necessarily on the tough reality that is I'm a big believer in workarounds you know in my professional career I've only had to play with my left shoulder for a lot of tournaments you know there's always there's always a way and so I'm bringing that entire mindset to what we're doing on P 1440 and it feels really incredible the people were doing it with it's the most special part and the people were doing a4 which is the current situation and players and athletes and beach volleyball in the next generations like my children that you know fortifies me every single day and the 1440 I know you know this but there's 1440 minutes in the day right and I waste a lot of those minutes I have it on my necklace it's a constant reminder of how I want to live my life so that's the filter through which we're going to create everything on our platform and on site like we don't want to waste people's times we want to help you cut through the clutter we want to give you a sensory experience we want to allow you the chance to get dirty with us and to take go away practical takeaways that you can implement to your life you know it's amazing to read it's amazing to listen but to experience and touch and feel and do like that turns into wisdom real fast I love that all right before I ask my last question working these guys find you online I think at Cara Lee Walsh on most things social yeah yeah you're incredible [ __ ] I'm sweating it's crazy I feel like I have so much to talk about and this was so fun and so gnarly at the same time just a little micro zoom of life right here no it was amazing thank you for having me thank you for being trying to stall I think for the last question well here it is not that you don't know but what is the impact that you want to have on the world so I think my impact is that I certainly want to leave this world a better place and I want to inspire the world to own their lives like literally take accountability for your life create it it's theirs it's only yours to create you know [ __ ] everyone else don't be selfish don't be rude don't be evil but if you create your life the way you want it it's only going to be positive for the people that you love so I think accountability autonomy and to live the 1440 every day that's what I hope to inspire and that's what I hope to live yeah Gary thank you so much coming on the show is incredible guys literally you were looking at somebody who in their sport in every way shape and form matches Michael Jordan I actually considered putting that in the intro and I thought she would have a seizure so I didn't but this is what a living legend looks like she has been so dominant in her sport you can't even imagine it is unparalleled it's absolute insanity and when you see that this is somebody that has insecurities when you see that this is somebody who wants to be a great mommy when you see that this is somebody who's trying to be a great wife when you see that this is somebody that's going through all the same things you're going through the greatest legacy she could ever hope to have she already has in my opinion and that is to show somebody what greatness really looks like it is not sanitary it is hard as hell it is messy it's a grind it's a [ __ ] joy it's beautiful it's unlike anything else to hold yourself to a standard that makes everyone else think you're absurd and then come back again and again and again and defy all expectation and believability it is breathtaking to witness it was an honor to have you here and to me the very point of life is to see how much of your potential you can actually actuate and use and do something with and she exemplifies that better than most any human I've ever come across in my life so I hope that you guys enjoy this episode as much as I did and if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends be legendary take care everybody thank you so much for watching and being a part of this community if you haven't already be sure to subscribe you're gonna get weekly videos on building a growth mindset cultivating grit and unlocking your full potential