The Origins Of Human Emotions And Their Purpose - Dr Laith Al-Shawaf
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Dr. Laith Al-Shawaf argues that emotions are adaptive, evolved mechanisms designed to solve specific survival and reproductive problems rather than irrational forces or mere feeling states. While often maligned as sources of distress or conflict with cognition, each emotion serves a distinct function: fear protects against danger by narrowing attention and mobilizing energy for escape; disgust triggers immune responses like increased body temperature and inflammation to avoid pathogens; anger acts as a negotiation tool to demand better treatment from those who undervalue us; romantic love bonds individuals into pair-bonds that solve the commitment problem; envy helps navigate status hierarchies; guilt repairs damaged relationships; shame prevents social devaluation by signaling potential loss of status; pride encourages advertising valued traits for social gain; and sadness prompts resource conservation and strategy recalibration. These emotions coordinate changes in physiology, perception, memory, attention, and behavior to address immediate adaptive challenges effectively. The transcript highlights the "emotion paradox," where emotions are both essential for survival yet cause significant suffering. An evolutionary perspective resolves this by explaining that negative feelings like anxiety or sadness do not evolve to make us feel good but to promote safety and action; they may be hyperactive due to an error management strategy known as the "smoke detector principle." Just as a smoke alarm is designed to err on the side of false alarms rather than missing a fire, human brains prioritize avoiding catastrophic errors (like failing to detect a predator) over minimizing nuisance costs. This explains why anxiety often feels excessive or irrational; it is not a bug but a feature built for maximum safety in an ancestral environment that differs from our modern reality, leading to evolutionary mismatches where current stressors trigger ancient responses disproportionately. Dr. Al-Shawaf also addresses the concept of "spandrels," which are byproducts rather than adaptations, distinguishing them from true emotional functions. While emotions themselves have evolved purposes, certain behaviors or beliefs might be spandrel-like side effects; for instance, religious belief could stem from hyperactive agency detection (seeing agents behind random events) and attachment systems, while murder might result from the overtriggering of aggression mechanisms when parental love fails to activate sufficiently in step-parent relationships. Similarly, reading is a byproduct of our spoken language adaptations rather than an evolved skill itself. The discussion emphasizes that even adaptive emotions can misfire or be expressed at inappropriate times—such as pride becoming hubris or anxiety manifesting without threat—but the underlying systems remain functional and necessary for intelligent action in social environments. Finally, the speaker advocates moving beyond a binary view of emotions as either purely wise ancestral wisdom to be trusted blindly or irrational biases to be suppressed. Instead, he proposes a nuanced, case-by-case approach where individuals assess whether an emotion is currently serving its function or interfering with their life goals. For those high in "need for cognition," understanding the adaptive logic behind emotional responses can reduce distress and foster self-compassion by reframing emotions as protective signals rather than personal failures. By recognizing that we are not cursed but operating within a system designed to keep us safe, even when it produces false alarms or mismatched reactions, individuals can better regulate their second-order emotions (like shame about feeling anxious) and make more informed decisions about whether to reframe, accept, or mitigate specific emotional experiences in the modern world.
Read the full video transcript
Why do we have emotions?
Well, emotions are adaptive and they
serve a function even though they're
often maligned and regarded as
irrational. And there's a long history
in psychology and philosophy of
regarding emotions as these irrational
forces that get us into trouble. They
really uh each have evolved for a reason
and serve a function. And so for
example, fear protects us from danger.
Disgust protects us from pathogens and
from contamination. Anger helps us to
negotiate with people who are not
treating us well enough or who are
blocking our goals. Romantic love serves
to uh bond people together in a pair
bond to bind each other to bind two
people to each other. Envy is a useful
status in navig is a useful emotion in
navigating status hierarchies and and so
on and so forth. And so each emotion has
an evolved function. Something tied to
survival or reproduction or some other
kind of goal that is tributary to
survival and reproduction like
navigating status hierarchies and
repairing relationships and building
friendships and alliances and so on and
so forth. And uh so they all serve a
function.
Why
have they been so maligned? Why have
they not been super popular in the world
of psychology? If they're this useful,
if they give us all of these advantages
and they help us stay alive and navigate
things,
why are people saying that they're
irrational or that they're in conflict
with cognition?
Yeah. Yeah, that's a good question. I
think part of the reason, and this is
something that we might talk about over
the course of the podcast, is that
there's something that I think of as the
emotion paradox, which is that on the
one hand, yes, the emotions are adaptive
and useful and functional, and they help
you survive and reproduce and raise your
children and avoid illness and
infection. But on the other hand, they
also do cause people great distress.
They can lead us astray. They are
involved in a lot of psychological
disorders. And a lot of people in one
way or another do suffer because of
their emotions. And so there are these
two truths that we need to reconcile.
The fact that they are adaptive and
useful and functional on the one hand
and we really couldn't do the basic
tasks of survival and reproduction
without them. But on the other hand,
they do cause distress. They do
sometimes lead us to behave in ways that
don't serve our interests. They do
sometimes seem short-sighted. And so we
have both of these together and we need
to figure out a way to reconcile them.
Um, we can either do that now or we can
build up to that as you wish. But, um, I
do I did want to add one other thing,
one other reason why I think emotions
are given short shrift. It's that we
tend to think of emotions as just the
way that state feels. Fear is usually
thought of as feeling afraid, what it
feels like to be afraid. Disgust, when
you say the word disgust, people think
about what it feels like to feel
disgusted. But emotions are more than
just the feeling state, more than just
the subjective phenomenology. There are
a whole host of changes in our body and
brain and mind and behavior. So for
example, when you feel afraid, it is the
feeling state, but it's also that your
attention narrows to the dangerous
stimulus and your perception is
heightened. your physiology, things like
digestion and reproduction are
suppressed because they're not needed
right now. And your hunger falls away
and you focus instead on escape and
energy is shunted toward the muscles for
escape. And your memory is activated
such that if you know the terrain,
escape routes become more salient for
you. And
no way. You're better at navigating when
you're afraid.
Yeah. And we see similar things for
other emotions, too. They're essentially
not just affecting how you feel. They're
affecting your psychology and your
physiology and your behavior all at once
in an orchestrated coordinated fashion
in order to help you solve the problem
at hand. So when you disgust people, for
example, they don't just feel disgusted.
They also actually mount an immune
response involving the release of
pro-inflammatory cytoines and they have
an increase in basil body temperature
which is part of the immune response and
they report feeling less extroverted and
feeling less open to experience which
makes total sense because if there is a
pathogen threat this is not a good time
to be like hugging and affiliating and
touching people and trying new things
and trying new foods. They also
behaviorally like uh avoid the the
source of contamination. And you can
actually see that in the lab. And they,
you know, sexual arousal becomes more
difficult to achieve if you've disgusted
someone. Subjects become less willing to
engage in risks, especially pathogenic
risks. So you're not seeing either just
a feeling change or an arbitrary set of
irrational changes. You're seeing a set
of adaptive changes that functionally
cohhere and fit together and serve a
function, which in the case of disgust
is avoiding infection. And so I think we
have this tendency in the general public
and in psychology to overly identify the
emotion with the feeling state when in
reality the feeling state is one of more
than a dozen things that's going on in
the body and mind. And so one way of
thinking about it, this is kind of the
way that I and some of my colleagues
talk about it is emotions as
coordinating mechanisms, which really
means an emotion coordinates or
regulates many different systems in your
body and mind, attention, physiology,
perception, behavior, memory, etc. in
service of solving uh an adaptive
problem, the problem that that emotion
is geared towards solving.
Why do we pay so much attention to how
it feels then? Is that simply that it's
the the most salient? It's sort of front
and center. And h how could we
experience our increased basil
temperature and the the the
cytoine response? It's the only part of
our emotions that we have access to.
I think that's a huge part of it. I
think it's basically a cognitive bias on
our part whereby one as you say it's
simply the thing that is most salient
and that we have the most conscious
access to and secondly it's ob it's also
the case that the feeling state is the
most veilanced it's the most by nature
positive or negative emotions tend to
feel good or feel bad and since we
obviously care about how things feel we
tend to hyperfocus on that so I think
it's kind of a product of it being the
most consciously accessible and salient
on the one hand with us caring about how
it feels and it being the most veilanced
on the other hand.
I've heard you say emotions are there to
help us advocate for our own needs and
interests. Is that an overarching uh
summary in some form of most emotions,
all emotions?
I think so, but I'd probably need to add
some caveats and tweaks. Um, first of
all, some emotions seem more social than
others. So for example, guilt seems to
be about repairing relationships where
we've harmed somebody that we are
supposed to be valuing but we failed to
value enough. Anger seems to be about
demanding better treatment from those
who aren't valuing us enough or not
placing enough emphasis on our welfare.
These are very social emotions. Um
disgust on the other hand, especially
pathogen disgust is is geared toward
avoiding infection and avoiding
contamination. So you could still think
of it as like serving your interests.
Your interests are avoiding infection
and fear is still serving your interests
in terms of avoiding falling off a cliff
or avoiding being harmed by an asalent.
Um but some of these emotions are a bit
more interpersonal than others. And
there the notion of like serving our
interests acquires a more u specific
meaning. It often involves negotiating
with others. But I I do I want to add
one other caveat because someone
recently told me that maybe they had
misinterpreted this or it had been
unclear. It it made I guess they when
they heard advocating for our interests,
it seemed to them like I was suggesting
emotions are selfish or that they're all
about looking out only for me. They're
not only about looking out for me.
They're about pair bonding and raising
my children and protecting them and um
helping friends and allies and so on and
so forth. But those are also our
interests. Helping our children, helping
our friends, having loving relationships
and so on. So when I say advocate for
our interests, I don't mean in a purely
selfish way. I mean in the broader way
of building networks of affiliative kin
and friends and all of that good stuff.
Yeah. It's like uh our interests in the
ultimate fitness version of the sense.
Yeah. Which includes kin, which includes
the local tribe, which includes etc. or
excludes other tribes, so on and so
forth. Um I wonder if there's almost a
way that you could see the advocacy,
which is kind of like the the functional
word in that that uh quote of yours. Um
disgust almost advocating for why you
should behave the way that you do during
disgust. fear advocating to you about
why you should. It's almost like you're
negotiating with yourself. And
those of us that have got um stronger
inner monologues almost do that quite a
lot. Uh so yeah, I I kind of get this
almost get this sense that that it it's
like a personal advocacy for me. This is
why I should behave in this manner. But
then there's other times especially with
something like love where tell me why
you love them. Oh, I don't know. It's
and then list totally. It's the way that
she walks and it's the smell of her hair
and it's the curve of her lower back and
it's the way that she drinks her. You
know what I mean? It's like totally
arbitrary things. Um so I guess we have
uh more transparency with some than
others.
Yeah, that's probably true. Uh some
emotions functions are probably clearer
than others and some maybe are supposed
to be harder to discern um or they're
more useful when they're harder to
discern. So this there's a famous view
on love which is that love helps you to
solve the commitment problem. It helps
you to bond with another person when it
in the absence of love it might be in
your interest to always remain open to
other options and to cheat on your
partner and so on. But what love does is
it um the way that this author puts it
is it brings the costs of cheating it
from the future into the present. So,
one of the classic problems is that
if you were to cheat on your partner,
you would obtain the benefits now and
you would pay the costs later. But we
tend to be future discounters who pay a
lot of attention to present and discount
future. But when you have and if you had
a purely rationalist calculator who
didn't have emotions who also had the
tendency to delay the f to future
discount and to focus on the now it
would often be the case that the
rational calculus would tell you to go
ahead and cheat rather than holding back
and cementing the pair bond. But if you
experience love then right now you feel
guilt at the notion of cheating. right
now you feel compelled not to because
you're pair bonded and emotionally glued
to your partner. So the way he puts it
and I kind of like this phrase is it
sort of brings or pulls the costs from
the future into the present so that you
feel the costs right now and it alters
your calculus and you're more likely to
stick with your partner. The other point
that this author makes, his name is
Robert Frank, is he points out that you
don't really want to be with someone who
can give you a very rational explanation
for why they love you. Because if they
list all of these reasons, well, they
might just meet somebody who does better
in the future on
I've got all of those plus they can play
the guitar.
Exactly. And so, um, you know, kind of,
uh, counterintuitively, but it makes
sense when you reflect on it, he
suggests you want somebody who doesn't
love you for rational reasons, who's
emotionally glued to you without a
rational list of criteria. And so, um,
that's kind of interesting because
that's very much related to what you
were saying a moment ago. The idea of
our own insight around certain emotions
being obfiscated or opaque or muddy in
one form or another being adaptive even
that like the our own sense of
metacognition about emotions
individually being different is also
adaptive to be able to keep these
emotions doing their thing. It's wild.
It's so interesting.
Yeah. I think another reason emotions
have been uh have been regarded as
maladaptive or have been given short
shrift is that some of the emotions feel
bad and we just don't like feeling bad.
Um and there's this emphasis in some
areas of psychology and in the general
public uh on feeling good. I mean we
really have a cult of positivity in a
lot of western cultures and so you know
fear is supposed to fear feels bad
disgust feels bad but they all serve a
function you know feel fear feels bad
but it protects you from various
dangers. Disgust feels aversive but it
protects you from pathogens. Shame feels
bad but it helps you to avoid status
loss and reputational loss and engaging
in the behaviors that would cause that
status loss. Uh, jealousy feels bad, but
it protects valued maid ships from
abandonment or mage maid poaching. And
so it's kind of like pain. You know,
pain feels bad, but pain is not a
problem itself. It's a signal to you
that there's an external problem that's
happening like tissue damage and that
it's important for the organism to avoid
that problem. So the the fact that the
emotion feels bad, we tend to hyperfocus
on that. But the negative or aversive
emotions are just as functional and
adaptive and useful as the positive
emotions. It's just that they evolve to
help us survive and reproduce, not to
make us feel good.
Yeah. And we don't like them. So why
would you spend that much time thinking
about them? So what
what additional perspective does taking
an evolutionary lens to emotions give
us? What is it that's special about the
evolutionary frame that allows us to see
emotions more clearly?
Well, one thing it does is it highlights
the utility and adaptiveness of even the
quote unquote negative emotions, showing
that they're just as functional as the
positive ones. Another thing that it
does is what we were talking about a
moment ago, which is highlights that the
emotion is not just the feeling state.
It is a whole host of changes in
attention and memory and conceptual
categorization and physiology and
behavior and so on. And all of these
changes are geared toward again solving
the adaptive problem at hand. So it not
only broadens out our conceptualization
of emotions so that we stop thinking of
it as just the feeling state, the phen
phenomenological state, but it shows us
how the other components like the
changes in cognition and physiology and
behavior form a functionally coherent
set that are solving a certain problem.
They're not arbitrary or willy-nilly. Um
I would say it also uh offers kind of a
different perspective on we know that
some emotions are universal
and there's debate about other emotions
and there's a perspective on the
emotions that suggests a kind of
cultural perspective that suggests that
different cultures have different
emotions and if you look at some
languages like the Japanese have amii
and the Germans have shaden fua those
words those emotion emotion words don't
exist in English. And so some people
will say, well, that means that we lack
those emotions or we can't feel those
emotions. An evolutionary perspective
suggests a different way of looking at
it, which is that those superficial
linguistic differences are underllaying
by cross-cultural uniformity in the
psychology. We still have those
emotions. We just don't have a single
word for that. And so to paraphrase
another author, he he suggested that,
you know, when you share with an English
speaker the German word shaden, they
don't say like, "Oh, what is this
concept? I've never my
concept. I couldn't possibly imagine
it." They say, "Oh, you mean there's a
word for it?" Cool.
Yeah.
And so an evolutionary perspective
offers us a different way of thinking
about these linguistic differences.
They're more like surf on a wave.
superficial linguistic differences
probably underllayed by deeper
cross-cultural uniformity in the
psychology.
Um
and then I think another thing that an
evolutionary perspective does is it help
it helps us understand how to resolve
the emotion paradox. Remember we were
saying earlier that emotions are useful
and functional and adaptive but they
cause great distress and they can lead
us astray and it helps us resolve uh
this paradox or reconcile these two
facts. One insight is that emotions
evolve to promote adaptive action not to
help us feel good. That's an important
distinction because we start to see why
aversive emotions could be totally
functional. Another insight is that
again emotions evolved for adaptive
action but not to be maximally accurate
or maximally veritical. They might be
what does veritical mean please?
Um accurate or cottoning on to the
truth. So like a great example uh is
anxiety. Our anxiety is hyperactive
overreactive. And this is explained by
what uh psychiatrist Randy Nessie calls
the smoke detector principle or what
some others have called error management
theory. And it's basically the idea that
when you build a smoke alarm, there's
two kinds of errors it can make. Can
either fail to detect a real fire, which
would be catastrophic and deadly, or it
can detect a fire when there isn't one,
and it can sound the alarm when we're
just cooking. And that's just a minor
nuisance. So, we actually build smoke
alarms on purpose not to be maximally
accurate. We build them to be biased
toward false alarms so as to avoid the
catastrophic error. And the idea is that
this underlying logic doesn't just apply
to humanly engineered systems like smoke
alarms. It applies to animal brains. And
it applies to the human brain when it
comes to anxiety. Anxiety is like a
sentry or vigilance system that detects
threats in the environment. And so it
can make one of two kinds of errors. It
can fail to detect a real threat, which
could be very deadly. or it could detect
a threat when there isn't one there and
mount the anxiety response in a
defensive fashion that isn't actually
needed. And so the insight is that our
brains have evolved to be adaptively
biased in the direction of the safer
error. That's why our anxiety has so
many false alarms. That's why it's so
overreactive. But the cool insight is
that it's not a bug. It's a feature.
This is not our brains going haywire.
there's nothing pathological about us.
The system is actually built not to be
maximally accurate but to be maximally
safe. And that design produces errors.
And so this distinction between emotions
evolved not to be maximally accurate,
but rather to serve our survival and
reproductive interests helps us to
understand something like why anxiety is
so hyperactive.
And I think maybe that could even take
some of the sting out of anxiety because
it helps people realize there's nothing
wrong with you. Your brain is working
normally. Everybody's like this. And the
reason our brains evolved this way,
there's an underlying adaptive logic to
it. You know, it's not a bug, it's a
feature. You're not a weirdo. We're all
like this and there's good reason for
it. So that's another thing I think an
evolutionary perspective can do. Um, and
then of course there are other useful
distinctions that it offers in uh
reconciling uh the the two facets of the
emotion paradox. And another another one
is evolutionary mismatch. You know, we
evolved in a very different environment
than the one we inhabit today. And so
there may be, you know, emotions that
were ancestrally adaptive may or may not
be currently adaptive in some of the
situations that we face. And we may face
conditions now that um heighten our
anxiety or our depression relative to
ancestral conditions. You know we many
of us live for example without close kin
and friends around us in these modern
anonymous cities. We get less exercise
and live sedendary life sedentary
lifestyles and eat crappy fruit food and
processed food and so on. And so there's
a number of these insights like uh
evolved for survival and reproduction
not for happiness not for accuracy
evolutionary mismatch meaning
ancestrally adaptive not necessarily
currently adaptive. uh that help us to
understand how emotions can be both good
and bad at once.
Are there some emotions that are more
basic than others? I seem to remember at
some point reading something about
facial expressions and there's five
basic emotions and maybe there's a six
and we don't know or whatever. But when
I think about emotions like the the
sympathy sympathy empathy line or the uh
guilt shame line, you know, there's like
a million permutations and there's even
words in other languages for ones that
we have to say an entire paragraph to be
able to explain. So when it comes to
thinking about the constituent colors,
the primary colors of of emotions and
how that works, how do you come to think
about that? There there is a common view
that there are some emotions that are
more basic or more fundamental than
others. I don't buy this view, but I'll
just say that the people who do buy this
view typically view um joy, distress or
sadness, anger, disgust, surprise, and
fear as more basic, quote unquote, than
other emotions. But the there isn't a
strong theoretical reason to call these
basic and others non-basic. And it's
honestly it's a bit of a historical
accident that goes back to some seminal
findings in the 60s and 70s where as you
said researchers discovered that some of
these emotions had universal facial
expressions and also these facial
expressions were universally
recognizable. So you could take a
picture of somebody expressing emotion
from one culture to another culture and
they knew exactly what they were looking
at. Um and those were really cool and
really groundbreaking findings. But then
the authors kind of went beyond that and
said that in order to count as basic or
fundamental, an emotion must have a
universal facial expression and that
facial expression must be universally
recognizable. But there's no real reason
to stipulate that. It's kind of an
arbitrary stipulation. If you think
about it, whether or not an emotion
comes along with a facial expression
depends on the costs and benefits of
signaling that emotion to others. There
might be some emotions that are
positively harmful to signal to others
like envy, which is a covert emotion
that you use to
that's clever.
Climb up the status hike. You wouldn't
want to signal that to others. Or maybe
regret might be an internal
recalibrational emotion that helps us
make better decisions in the future when
we've messed up in the past. You
wouldn't need to wear that on your face.
Um, jealousy may be one that jealousy as
distinguished from envy is about, you
know, protecting your valued
relationships from abandonment or loss
or or made poaching or whatever may be
useful to signal it, may not be useful
to signal it depending on context. And
so a kind of a more a more modern way of
thinking about emotions from an
evolutionary perspective suggests that
some of them may have universal facial
expressions. Some of them may have no
facial expression at all. And some of
them may have facial expressions that
are only deployed in certain contexts
depending on the cost and benefits.
There isn't really a need, as those
earlier theorists did, to insist that it
must have a universal facial expression.
Do you come to think of some as more
fundamental than others or is it simply
that some are more commonly used?
I don't think of them as any of them as
more fundamental than others. I think of
each of them as having evolved for a
different purpose. And so, you know,
guilt is guilt and romantic love and
gratitude are usually not included in
the basic emotions list. But why not?
They appear to be universal. They each
have a function. Romantic love bonds us
to partners. Gratitude helps us to
increase how much emphasis we place on a
valued other when they've given us
something good and helped us out. Guilt
helps us to repair a relationship that
we've messed up or hurt the other
person. Everybody seems to have these
except certain psychopaths. Um these
emotions and all cultures seem to have
them and they seem to serve a function
and um just because they don't have a a
an associated facial expression is not
good reason to count them as less
fundamental or less basic. So, no, I
tend to think of each one as having
evolved for a different reason, uh, but
not being more or less basic than any of
the others.
All right, I want to go through a list
of different emotions and get your
evolutionary lens on them. So, fear
first. It's one of the ones that you've
mentioned an awful lot. Why have we got
it?
Protect us from dangers such as falling
off cliffs, being assaulted by um,
hostile humans, being attacked by
predators. And what does it do to us?
You said makes you better at driving the
car home. You can more accurately map
your room.
Well, well, it it mobilizes a bunch of
different things in your psychology to
solve the problem at hand. So, it
heightens your your perception and
narrows your attention to the the
predator. It let's say you need to run
away from this predator. It shuts down
the other things like digestion that you
don't really need right now and
mobilizes resources for running away.
Shunts energy toward the muscles. It
affects even the way that you
conceptually carve up the world. So I
would no longer carve up I would no
longer think of this mug as
aesthetically pleasing or or as useful
for drinking. I would start to carve up
everything I see as useful or not useful
for escaping the the dangerous
situation. Um it is it must it must
really kill creativity in that form then
because you're only looking at things in
this much more sort of binary how does
it relate to this scenario that's going
on. Yeah, I think that's probably true.
It mobilizes all of your resources
towards solving this one thing. So, it
probably makes you less good at solving
other things.
Um, and so,
and so what's going on is it's changing
the way you feel, the way you think, the
way you remember, the way you
conceptually carve up the world, and the
way you behave. It's all of these things
at once in service of solving this goal
which is escaping this danger. And the
way that we might think of this is I
mentioned one term earlier which is
emotions as coordinating mechanisms
meaning systems that coordinate a lot of
changes in the body and mind. The other
term that's sometimes used is emotions
as modes of operation. By which we mean
that the whole body and mind go into a
different mode of operation. And when
you're in fear mode, you're in a
different mode than in disgust mode,
which is a different mode than guilt or
gratitude mode. And it kind of
highlights again that there's a whole
cascade of changes in your body and
mind, and they functionally cohhere
towards solving this problem. So that's
that's fear, for example.
Okay. What about surprise? That's one
that I I it's a emotion that I literally
forget even exists. Not that I never not
that I never feel it, but just
I don't know. It's it's not front of
mind.
Yeah. I don't I don't tend to think much
about surprise either and I haven't done
any research on it. Um, and I tend to
think of it as being a slightly less
interesting emotion, but it's supposed
to focus your attention on the
surprising thing, quickly evaluate it as
positive or negative, and then react
accordingly. To me, it's it's less of a
rich emotion than some of the other ones
that we might
It's already fleeting, right? I I guess
it's how would I think about it? I'd
probably think about it as some kind of
pattern prediction that has been broken.
Like there is a particular expectation I
have and that expectation has gone
sideways and you know uh maybe it's a
creature that's jumped out in front of
me and scured across in front of the or
maybe it's my partner getting down on
one knee to offer me a ring so that we
now get married. You know, surprise
covers a whole range of sins. What about
shame?
Shame has been well studied and so is
much better understood especially by a
researcher named Daniel Sneezer. And um
he's done some really good work showing
that shame seems to function to prevent
you from engaging behaviors that would
cause you status loss and reputation
loss in your society and to try also to
prevent information about those things
if you have engaged in those things from
getting out. so that it again prevents
this kind of status loss. And if you've
done a bad thing and it's become known
to try to engage in behaviors to
mitigate the damage. And so shame is all
about
reducing the likelihood of social
devaluation because remember in you know
the way we evolved closely knit
huntergatherer communities we were and
to some extent still are very
interdependent. We need and needed each
other to survive. And uh you can't do
the basic tasks of life alone, whether
that's shelter or hunting or repelling
invaders or repelling predators or any
of that stuff. And ostracism or being
kicked out of the group is one of the
worst things that can happen to us. For
many groups, especially ancestrally,
that would have been a death sentence.
And so falling in status or being
ostracized or being devalued by one's
peers is a huge adaptive problem. And so
there's evidence that shame um works to
pre prevent us from engaging in those
behaviors that cause that loss, prevent
information about that loss from getting
out and then if it has gotten out to
appease social others, to plate them, to
withdraw, to accept support and to
apologize and try to repair those wrongs
for the future. Um, all of these changes
are cohering toward trying to not let us
be socially devalued, try to reduce the
likelihood of social devaluation. I'm
going to guess that
in the same kind of bucket as these
would be something like guilt and maybe
regret as well. Maybe although there is
an important distinction between shame
and guilt which is that guilt is thought
of as functioning to repair a
relationship with a valued other when
you have hurt them or wronged them or
transgressed against them or failed to
place enough value on their welfare. So
it's about fixing that bond that you've
messed up whereas shame is about
preventing yourself from falling in the
eyes of your peers. M I wonder how many
people sorry I wonder how many people
are feeling shame when they say that
they're feeling guilt. Uh I think um I
for instance only until a month ago had
interchangeably used jealousy and envy
my entire life only for William Costella
to tell me that I was stupid and that
that wasn't that they're not the same
thing and you can't just interchange
them. Uh but yeah, I just thinking about
that thinking about the um
he feels guilty that's why he's
apologizing. It's like does he or based
on what you're saying does he feel
shame? His shame it's this uh
reputational
uh curation that somebody's now doing.
Yeah. And he might feel both, right?
Because uh given that they're distinct,
we can feel both of them. We might be
feeling guilt toward the person we
harmed and we're trying to fix that. And
we're feeling shame that other people
people found out about it and we have
fallen in status. So you can feel either
one or the other or both, but they are
solving different problems. with shame.
One of the cool findings is that um what
we feel shame about closely tracks what
others would devalue us for. For
example, if we list things that I might
feel shame about being a bad parent or
cheating on a test or hurting these
other people or stealing or whatever and
then we ask other people, how much would
you devalue somebody for being a bad
parent or cheating on a test or hurting
these other people? we find that there's
an extremely strong correlation between
the amount of shame I would feel and the
amount of social devaluation that others
would engage in of me for those things.
So thei the mechanism works because the
degree of shame tracks the degree of
third-party social devaluation. And this
is even true across cultures
because it has been shown in like a 16
culture study that in each culture shame
closely tracks the degree of social
devaluation that would occur for that
bad trait or that bad behavior.
And presumably that changes across
cultures. There's some cultures that
would shame you more for this thing and
other cultures that would shame you
less.
Absolutely. Surprisingly, it changes
less between cultures than you might
think because many many cultures still
agreed on what were the things that
would be shameful or that would make you
lose in status. And so even correlations
between cultures were on the order of
like positive.7 which is actually a very
strong correlation. Um within a culture
it was even stronger. the degree to
which shame tracks third party social
devaluation. The flip side of shame
seems to be pride, which is about
engaging in behaviors and traits that
bring you social valuation and respect
from your peers and then advertising
those traits and the fact that you have
those traits and skills to your peers so
that you can benefit from that rise in
status. And um studies on pride show
that similarly within a culture the
degree of pride that you feel at those
traits or behaviors closely tracks the
degree of valuation others would give
you for those behaviors. And even
between cultures there's quite a strong
positive correlation between cultures in
terms of um what people value and thus
what people would receive or feel pride
for.
What do you make of the
uh very wellestablished and sort of
recently resurging criticism of pride?
You know, uh it's uh the Christians
aren't keen on it. Uh a lot of other
groups say that it's something that you
shouldn't uh you shouldn't have, that
it's it's a a sort of a toxic trait. And
yet every time I'm I'm yet to meet
somebody who gives me a compelling case
from a psychological standpoint about
why it's a bad idea. Uh, I understand
like if you get symbolic and start to
play lexical Brazilian jiu-jitsu with me
and go what I mean what I really mean by
pride is XY Z like okay like I kind of
get it but your explanation there which
is something positive pro-social which
benefits yourself and the group and you
would be happy for other people to know
about and would give you positive um
uplift in the eyes of the people around
you like
I I wonder basically how much um
potential potential self-esteem we have
neutered in people by not encouraging
them to take pride in things that
they've done well.
Interesting. Yeah. I mean we might be
inclined some people like to distinguish
between pride and hubris where they
think of pride as earned pride and
hubris as unearned pride basically or
pride you know pride for things that you
actually for good traits you actually
have versus hubris pride for traits that
good traits that you don't have. Uh so
that we might draw that distinction but
you know for any emotion even for any
functional adaptive emotion it can still
undersshoot or overshoot. So you might
feel too much pride for a given thing or
you might advertise it too much. And so
I can see why even for highly functional
adaptive emotions, they can still
overshoot or undersshoot or they can be
triggered in the wrong context or at the
wrong time and this could rub rub people
the wrong way. And so, you know, we
talked a little bit about anxiety and
how it's adaptive and yet it's expressed
when it's not needed. And that's by
design. It's it's not a bug, it's a
feature. But nonetheless,
we might there are instances where we
might bemoan how overactive anxiety is
and want to reduce it. So I can see how
even something good like pride or shame
could rub some people the wrong way when
it's being overexpressed or
underexpressed.
Why do you think that we have seen
anxiety potentially and depression are
the emotions dour of the modern world?
the the conversations about it, talking
all the time, these persistent feelings
of hopelessness and listlessness that
young girls have between the ages of 12
and 16, etc., etc. A lot of people
talking about rising levels of anxiety,
whether it's on their own or social
anxiety.
From your perspective, why is it the
emotion of the 21st century?
Yeah, a bit speculatively, but I think
that we live in a very different way
than we used to. You know, I live, for
example, in a country very far from my
kin. Um, and I've moved a lot, as you
may have as well. So, you need to build
new social support networks. Some of the
people who matter most to you are very
far away. Many of our jobs may be
sedentary. Many we may not get a good
diet cuz fast food places and
supermarkets are filled with processed
food. And so in some ways I think you
know not being supported enough or
surrounded enough by kin and close
friends, changes in diet and exercise
and things like that as well as being
exposed to
people um
you know on social media and in regular
media like movies and so on. You're
exposed to people who are like
unrealistically attractive and
unrealistically successful and
unrealistically good at what they do.
And in small group hunt huntergatherer
living, there was a fair shot that you
were like the best at something. You
were the best weaver or hunter or
speaker or healer or whatever.
There just simply wasn't enough people
for everybody to try their hand at
weaving or hunting or speaking or
whatever.
Yeah. And if your whole world was 150
people, you have a fairly good shot at
being the best or close to the best at
something. But now you can watch
Olympians and famous actors and famous
whatevers and you know for a fact you're
not the best tennis player or basketball
player or skater or whatever. And so I
think with the broadened exposure to the
best of the best and the sort of curated
facade that people portray on social
media where you compare their facade
with your real life and the fact that
many of us now have overly sedentary
jobs and bad diets and are not
surrounded by kin and friends as much as
we used to be. I think these things can
all lead to an uptick in sadness,
depression, and anxiety.
Um
but again even in the best of times we
would still have anxiety and we would
still have sadness and it'd still be
serving a function. So sadness for
example seems to function to do a couple
different things. One is to
solicit aid from friends and loved ones
and family saying I'm in need. Please
support me. And the other thing is to
help you withdraw, conserve resources,
and recalibrate because you're stuck in
something that isn't working. A bad
marriage, a bad job, a dead-end path.
And so, it's helping you to recalibrate
and figure out whether your resources
and your energy might be better
allocated elsewhere, and you might to
quit this thing or adjust your strategy.
And so even in the best of times, we'd
still have sadness because it's
functional and we'd still have anxiety
because it's functional. And as we said
earlier, that anxiety would still be
manifesting in response to things that
it's not strictly needed for because of
that overexpression smoke detector
principle that we talked about. And it
just seems that we have a modern world
which has created a physiological
foundation, a uh kin group atomization
foundation. And then it seems like the
third big sort of side of it was more
kind of like a status anxiety hierarchy
uh foundation where we can just see all
of the successes of everybody. And those
things all spun together create a a
pretty vicious cocktail for creating
persistent anxiety.
I I think they could. Yeah, it's a
little bit speculative, but to me all
that makes sense. Um and then you know
another question that people ask is why
is happiness so difficult to achieve?
Why is it so elusive? And I think
there's good reasons for that too. And
these insights again come from thinking
about it evolutionarily.
I mean, for one thing, happiness is we
have the hedonic treadmill, for example.
I'm sure you're familiar with this. This
is the notion that we accomplish
something and then we feel happy and
proud for a short period of time, but
then the pride quickly dissipates. The
happiness melts away and we revert to
our emotional baseline. And it sucks and
we often feel angry or frustrated with
ourselves about that like why can't I
just remain happy or proud? But the
answer is that if you think about our
ancestors and you imagine some of them
achieved something and then they rested
on their laurels forever versus others
achieved something and they felt good
for a brief period but they soon began
craving their next goal and their next
accomplishment. And you ask who would
have outco competed whom? The answer is
very obvious, right? So the reason our
brains are subject to the hyonic
treadmill is again it's not a pathology.
It's not a mistake. They're like that
for a reason. And so that helps explain
one element of why happiness is so
elusive, especially like long lasting
happiness. And by the way, I think it
takes some of the sting out of the
hedonic treadmill. It helps me to know
that this is not a pathology that my
brain is like this for a reason. That
the surface apparent irrationality is
undergirled by a deeper adaptive logic.
Um, but there's other uh reasons that
happiness is elusive too. There's
unavoidable competition between people
for status or for jobs or for mates or
for food or whatever. And as long as
different people have different goals
and don't have perfectly overlapping
fitness interests, well, there's going
to be some competition between people.
And as long as there's some competition,
there's going to be some unhappiness
because other people maybe are besting
us or we're not able to get uh our goals
because there are obstacles in our way.
Um, as we talked about before, you know,
the uh the overexpression of negative
emotions like anxiety is another reason
why it's difficult to achieve lasting
happiness. And as we also talked about
mismatch, evolutionary mismatch is is a
factor there. And then there are other
things as well. Recall that we said that
emotions to to begin with, they don't
evolve for our happiness. They evolve
for our survival and reproduction. So,
we shouldn't be all that surprised when
um they don't feel good, but they work
to help us solve our goals. And so,
yeah, I mean, just thinking about why
happiness is so elusive, there's lots of
reasons from an evolutionary perspective
why it would be difficult to achieve
long lasting happiness. It seems like
your approach to a lot of the emotions
that you have is to almost especially
the negative ones to realize that you in
some bizarre circular sense should be
grateful. It's like thank you to my
brain for looking out for me. I know
that you're misfiring now. I know that
you didn't mean to be worried about that
thing tomorrow which you totally don't
need to be worried about and you've
worried about last night and you worried
about the night before and I tried to
get you to not worry about it but I
appreciate that you're there looking out
for me. I understand where this comes
from. Uh yeah, it's a treating yourself
like an ancestor that you should be
helping.
Yeah. Yeah. I like that way of thinking
about it. Um it's basically seeing the
utility of the stuff that initially
seems harmful to you. It's yes, you can
you can recognize the the harm, you can
recognize the pain, but then it is also
helpful to recognize the utility and the
functionality. And I do think that for
many of us, like if you're the kind of
person who likes explanations and
understanding stuff, well then
understanding why something appears
irrational but is underllayed by a
deeper adaptive logic, that itself takes
some of the chaos and confusion and pain
out of it.
I learned from you about a trait that
I'd never heard of before. Need for
cognition. Is that what it's called?
Can you can you explain that?
Yeah. So that's a personality trait or
an individual difference that describes
the extent to which you enjoy thinking
about challenging things, like working
on puzzles, like understanding stuff,
like explanations. You enjoy explaining
things or or understanding things. And I
think I was probably talking about it in
this context and I was saying that these
insights may help some of us take this
sting out of our negative emotions
especially those people who are who are
higher in need for cognition who enjoy
explanation and comprehension and who
feel a need to understand like if you're
not just dealing with sadness but you're
constantly asking yourself why am I like
this why do I have the hideonic
treadmill then these insights help you
to explain that and you can put it to
rest. Okay, you're not weird. Your
brain's not pathological. It's working
as intended and that might provide some
solace especially for those who are like
seeking answers and high in need for
cognition.
I think so. I think that's probably
every single person in this audience
listening. you know, it's a
the
you know, the I felt my love for
evolutionary psychology began with
Robert Wright's uh the moral animal
um which I think still now in
35
years old that book probably something
like that still 33 years old still holds
up like it's still so cool it's still
such a great read and um then he wrote
another one called Why Buddhism is true
and in it he he quotes this Buddhist
thinker who says ultimately in life
happiness comes down to the decision
between choosing to become aware of our
mental afflictions or the decision to be
ruled by them. And for me the becoming
aware of your mental afflictions is
always the more satisfactory answer. Uh
I just I I think I'm very much uh that
person that need for cognition that
closing the loop on understanding why.
Yeah, I get it. I get it. Like I I feel
this way. I feel this way. But why? Even
if you have a coping mechanism for it,
even if you've done the mindfulness or
you your CBT or your breath work or your
sauna or your cold plunge or whatever,
even if you have a coping mechanism to
be able to reeregulate yourself, I think
there's still for a big number of
people, of which I'm one,
this degree of frustration that you
can't work out where it's coming from.
Like why is that there? And I think that
you that need for cognition, that that
need for explanation, um really does
sort of lie at the bottom of much of
what I've done for like the last seven
years of my life, which is just trying
to work out why
I am the way I am and why humans are the
way that we are. And every time that I
get a new answer, I I feel a little more
satisfied.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, a related thing is
that I think a lot of us tend to place
emotions in this dichotomy with
cognition where it's like emotions
versus cognition. Emotions are
irrational. Cognition is rational.
Emotions are hot. Cognition is cold.
Emotions are impulsive. Cognition is
reflective. And that contributes to us
thinking of emotions as something that
need to be reigned in or controlled. And
I mean, yes, it can be beneficial to
reframe emotions, to revise or um modify
them when we experience them acting in
the wrong times or to the wrong degree.
But one of the useful things that we can
do is drop the dichotomy and realize
that emotions like cognition are complex
information processing instantiated in
the nervous system that evolved for a
reason. And you know, we talked about
instances where it'll seem irrational,
like the hydonic treadmill, but it's
really not. One way of thinking about
this is that it's not irrational, it's
adaptively rational. And that surface
level irrationality actually has a
deeper logic to it. Um oh so just sorry
just there what you're saying is that um
oh one implication is if you can't see
the adaptive rationality which appears
in terms of its first order for you as
irrationality
this insight if you have this need for
cognition you're able to collapse those
two together so that you don't have this
discordance between the two or this
isn't irrational I'm aware that it's
maybe misfiring but I even understand
why the misfiring is there
yeah so I Maybe you're collapsing or
maybe you're holding both in mind
together and you're acknowledging both
which I think is healthier than either
always vilifying emotions or always the
other error is always saying oh emotions
are full of ancestral wisdom always
trust your emotions or and that's wrong
too like we don't want blanket
vilification and we don't want blanket
always self-help trust your emotions.
What we want is a more nuanced approach
where we can go on a case-byase basis.
We can decide if the emotion is serving
us or not. And if it's not, we can try
to reframe or we can try to um use some
of the tools that you were talking about
to adjust it. But it's important to
realize both the good that they do and
the bad that they do and be able to hold
them both in mind at once rather than
blanket vilifying or blanket self-help
trusting.
What about anger? Anger. Anger is one of
the most vilified because it does lead
to a lot of problems. At the same time,
it evolved for a reason. And um the
theory I'm going to refer to here is a
lot of this work was done by someone
named Aaron Cell. And uh he thinks of
anger as a device for negotiating with
others who haven't placed enough value
on our welfare. Like when we feel that
we're being mistreated or we feel that a
friend or a loved one or whoever is not
placing enough emphasis on our
well-being, we express anger in a way to
bargain with them or negotiate with them
for better treatment in the future. And
we're like, what anger is basically
saying is treat me better or I will
impose costs on you or if you're already
in a collaborative relationship with
that person, treat me better or I will
withhold benefits from you until you
treat me better. And there's no doubt
that anger leads to problems, lots of
problems. But it also evolved for a
reason. And organisms without anger
would not do very well. They would not
advocate in these kind of diatic
relationships for their interests.
Um, in fact, I think, you know, there's
this notion that if only we could be
free of emotions, we'd be so intelligent
and so rational. But organisms without
emotions, creatures without emotions
would be stupider than us, not smarter.
They'd be less capable of intelligent
action.
How? How? So,
well, they wouldn't avoid infection.
Well, they wouldn't advocate for their
interest in diatic relationships. Well,
they wouldn't be able to avoid the
temptations of the moment and build
long-term relationships. They wouldn't
repair things with others when they had
hurt them. They wouldn't escape
predators. They would be like, "Oh, that
cliff, it's not a problem. Let me try to
slide down and see what happens."
Without emotions, I mean, it's like
pain. Organisms. Some people are born
with without pain congenitally and
they're usually dead by 30 or 30
something. Um, organisms that have areas
of their brain devoted to fear often die
early. I mean, if you take a rat or a
mouse and you leion the part of its
brain that's involved in fear, it will
no longer be afraid of the smell of cat
piss and it'll go right up to cats and
it'll get eaten. And so um emotions or
creatures without emotions would be less
capable of intelligent action in the
world not more. Actually there's another
cool example of this which is there are
patients with brain damage to parts of
their brain that are involved in emotion
like the ventromedial prefrontal cortex.
And these patients have trouble making
even very simple decisions like where to
sit in an auditorium or where to go to
dinner or what appointment to make for
their next medical appointment.
I seem to remember a study being done
with a a guy who had this and they asked
what time did he want to come back
tomorrow and sat and observed him for 30
minutes or something while he is it 3
p.m. or is it 4 p.m.?
Yeah, that's a classic example. And so
the Damasio, the neuroscientist who did
some of this work, asked, as you said,
the patient when he wanted to come back,
this date or that date. And so the
patient took out his notebook and
started listing all the pros and cons of
each date for 30 minutes, unable to to
decide on which one. And eventually
Damasio just said, "Why don't you come
on the second day?" And the guy was
like, "Okay, done." And so that this
person was still intelligent. He was
still lucid. He was still rational. But
he was incapable of making the decision
because sometimes emotional inputs like
a slight preference for that day over
this day is what helps us make the
decision. When you look at which chair
to sit in in an auditorium, there often
isn't a huge objective difference
between the chairs, but you have a
slight emotional preference for one of
over the other. And that helps you make
the decision. And so without emotions,
if we have brain damage like this
patient, we we find ourselves unable
sometimes to make even trivial, mundane
decisions. What about when we feel
emotions about our emotions? Say that
again.
What about when we feel emotions about
our emotions? Ah yeah for me I think of
this often uh I sometimes think of them
as secondorder emotions like I am
frustrated with myself for being anxious
or I'm annoyed with myself for the
hideonic treadmill and you know emotions
are normally like fairly shortlasting
but you can renew them if you have a
thought that triggers the emotion again.
Like often when you're angry about
something, the initial episode of anger
will be fairly short, a few seconds, a
few minutes. The reason it can go on for
much longer than that is that you've
reexperience the external trigger or the
internal trigger of thinking about the
thing that made you angry. And so you've
basically renewed the emotion. And so
this is one of the reasons why cognitive
reframing is important because you can
try to stop renewing the emotion. But
for the second order emotions, uh were
you think what kinds of examples were
you thinking of?
Uh yeah, the ones that you used. So
frustration at myself for being so
anxious. Um a uh degree of uh guilt
about something despite the fact that I
probably don't need to feel guilty about
it. Perhap like a sense of shame around
something and then frustration at the
guilt and and and uh self-resentment at
the shame. And then you know you get a
third you get a third order one which is
like being bored at your agitation at
your persistent anxiety.
Yeah. This is sometimes we flagagillate
ourselves for our emotions with more
painful emotions. Uh to me it really
helps to understand why the emotions are
there in the way that we were talking
about earlier. I think that takes a lot
of the sting out of the second order
self flagagillation. If you understand
why the hedonic treadmill exists, it
makes total sense. You no longer need to
be pissed at yourself for feeling it. If
you understand that sadness serves a
function and it's not weird of you to
feel sad when you're stuck in a dead end
marriage or job, then you don't need to
berate yourself for feeling sad. If you
understand why anxiety is hyperactive by
design, well, you can try to regulate
your anxiety, but you don't need to beat
yourself up for feeling anxiety. And so
to me, and I hope this helps others as
well, the insights for why the thing
exists and why it's functional helps us
to feel less bad and beat ourselves up
less for feeling it in the first place.
Mhm.
But I do want to add something about
shame, which is pretty cool, which is,
as you said, feeling shame about
something that you don't need to feel
shame about. There is this really cool
research
where the experimenters set up a bunch
of experiments where they teased apart
whether or not participants had actually
done anything wrong from whether or not
audience members thought they had done
something wrong. And they were able to
show very clearly that participants felt
shame even when they were innocent and
when they knew they were innocent as
long as audience members thought they
were guilty. And what's so great about
that, I mean, it's it's kind of sad, but
what's so great about it for our
purposes pedagogically is that it really
shows that
shame is not about being culpable, about
having done something wrong necessarily.
It's about falling in status in the eyes
of your peers, about being rejected or
ostracized or devalued by your peers. So
you can absolutely feel shame when
you're innocent and you know you're
innocent as long as you think correctly
or or erroneously that others are
devaluing you. And that's a major
insight.
Um and it does like people who are
feeling shame may be entirely innocent
but they may be thinking correctly or
incorrectly that others are devaluing
them for whatever.
Yeah. It's optics management, brand
management. I got to control I must
control the narrative. Yeah. Yeah. I
mean, that's such a what a ruthless uh
little byproduct of our emotions that we
can do something or we can do nothing
wrong or we can do something which isn't
wrong and still be at the mercy of a
group who is wrong in judging us for
having done something wrong even when we
didn't. Yeah. I I I think about this a
lot. you know, the rise and fall and
re-rise of internet personalities and
and politicians and and cultural
commentators and authors and who's hot
and who's not and who's in and who's out
and um so much of it is optics. So,
there does tend to be very little uh
smoke without some fire in one form or
another, but
so much of it can run away with itself.
Somebody's reputation can precede them.
uh both in in a positive sense or
increasingly on the internet I think in
a bad sense. And yeah, I I I really do
think that reputation management in that
way is just so important because the
this sort of new hologram projection of
you uh very much is what people
experience like we and in a world as
well where people are very quick to jump
to um conclusions and not do their own
research. Well, we know that this is the
fact. It's like I don't think that
that's the case. And also the
implications not only for you, not only
for everybody else and their
assumptions, but for the person in their
felt experience of day-to-day existence
as well is pretty drastic. So I think
yeah, we should uh maybe all pump the
brakes a little bit on uh judging other
people too harshly, especially with
imperfect information.
Yeah. And then if if I can add
something, I think that you know some
people listening might think you know
reputation management like it's it might
seem superficial or or not that
important but really reputation and
acceptance by your peers that would have
meant the difference between surviving
and not surviving in the environments
that we evolved in. You know, if you're
cast out of the group, you're not going
to be able to hunt and build shelters
and fires and fend off predators alone
in the environments in which we evolved.
So, it would have meant death. And so,
falling in the eyes of one's peers can
be extremely
painful. And some of the worst
punishments that we have to offer are
basically kicking a person out of the
group. Right? You've got ostracism,
exile, uh revoking citizenship. In
prison, the worst thing is solitary
confinement,
um, dishonorable discharge. These kinds
of things are some of the most painful
things that can happen to us or that we
can do to each other, kicking someone
out of the group. And there are studies
that clearly show that the amount of
pain felt at being excluded, even when
it's a simple virtual game, you bring
participants into the lab and they're
passing a ball to one another and they
don't get the ball passed to them. And
it's not even other people passing the
ball. It's CPUs. They still feel pain.
And so it's like it's not a superficial
thing. It's like very poignant and felt
and powerful. And there are reasons why
it is like that. Are there any other
interesting elements that you don't
think that we've covered when we start
to scale up emotions into a group
context? When it comes to uh group
cohesion, social status, our place
within it. um uh the way that sort of
emotions move through groups especially
with reputation and stuff like that. Is
is there anything interesting there?
Um I think that some of the positive
emotions get underststudied and at least
don't get
you know the function of some of the
positive emotions is less obvious than
the function of fear or disgust for
example. And so as you mentioned earlier
for people who think that there are some
basic emotions and some non-basic
emotions they never talk about like
romantic love and parental love for
example as basic emotions but these are
universal emotions that every culture
has and that evolve to serve a very
clear function. One of them being pair
bonding the other one being raising and
protecting offspring. So there are very
important emotions that are either
groupish or diatic or in some ways
social that are positive that are
functional that are universal that get
um maybe not ignored but underststudied
because they're not as obvious as what
the or their function is not as obvious
as some of the basic survival related
emotions.
Um
I think
yeah I mean there's a lot of emotions
that we haven't talked about and there's
also linking you can link emotions to so
many different aspects of psychology and
behavior because if you adopt the
coordinating mechanisms approach or
modes of operation approach that we're
talking about here that makes emotions
not some weird quirky part of the mind.
It makes them a very central part of
psychology and behavior because they
organize or orchestrate so many
different aspects of psychology and
physiology and behavior. So they're
involved in everything from friendship
to punishment to forgiveness to warfare
to loving your children to hatred to
murder. I mean emotions are they pervade
all aspects of human life and everything
we do. And at at one point they were
kind of considered a fringe topic of
study. But I think with the realization
that they pervade everything we do and
the fact that they're adaptive
um is now coming an appreciation that
they are central to how the mind works
and to psychology.
What are some of the emotions that I've
missed off from my these should probably
be interesting list?
Uh we did discuss pride and shame
briefly. Uh we discussed the distinction
between guilt and shame. We did we
discuss the distinction between envy and
jealousy? No, we didn't. Okay. So, you
know, jealousy for protecting your
valued relationships. It's usually
discussed in the context of romantic
relationships. But there can be
friendship jealousy too. Protecting your
valuable friendships from uh friendship
poachers or from loss. Uh whereas envy
is about wanting that thing that
somebody else has that you don't have.
may be coveting that corner office or
car or increased status or whatever.
Pride and shame can be thought of as
sort of flips of each other. One of them
about engaging in stuff that helps with
social valuation and advertising it to
the group. Shame about not engaging in
stuff that results in social devaluation
and and if you have trying to hide that
from the group or engage in damage
control. Disgust for protecting from
pathogens. fear from protecting for
other dangers.
On on the uh on the discussed point
actually you you mentioned about um
sexual arousal kind of being muted in
dampened down which makes complete
sense. Are you
did you see any research about post
pandemic or during pandemic sexual
activity? Because I I had this pet
theory in my mind that with a pathogen
out there, all of the news, everyone's
really worried, you can see where I'm
going with this, that maybe we would
have this sort of global turnoff uh for
everybody's
uh everyone's desire for sex, especially
sexual variety. Now, obviously, you it's
not like the only emotion that we have
is discussed. you also have a desire for
novelty which is being cailed by you
being locked in your house for 18 months
and then you maybe that that's a
stronger sense of cabin fever whatever
um but yeah I just I kind of had it in
my head I thought that would be maybe
something that we would have seen
increased pathogen concern more
heightened disgust response we also know
uh that this is uh sexed it's it's it's
not equal between the sexes I think
women have a a more sensitive discuss
response than men do um was there
anything interesting think that came out
about that?
I haven't seen research on that, but I
think that that's a a reasonable
supposition, a reasonable prediction. We
do know from research that if you
experimentally discuss participants,
they their desire for sexual variety and
novelty goes down. Like bring them into
the lab, show them disgusting things,
they will experience a downturn in
interest in short-term mating and
interest in new partners, interest in
sexual variety. We also know that if you
look globally at different regions of
the world, some have higher pathogen
prevalence than others, often because of
temperature, you know, because certain
pathogens do better in warmer climates
than in colder ones. And that this is
correlated with interest in short-term
mating and extraversion and openist
experience, whereby people who grow up
in more pathogen dense parts of the
world tend to be less interested in this
kind of sexual exploration. which makes
sense.
Mhm.
Um, and given all that, I think your
prediction makes sense, but I didn't see
anything specific on it.
I was reading morbidly curious,
if you've read that,
it's a uh psychologist that looks at
sort of uh morbid stuff. And um Colton
Scriber, do you know that guy?
Yeah.
Yeah. Uh and he was talking about um why
some women uh find serial killers
attractive. And I I I thought that uh
that was like an interesting sexed
difference. I don't know of many men who
well also you don't have a massively big
pool of female serial killers. Uh but I
thought that that was that was an
interesting
pivot away from much of what we've
spoken about and a lot that people can
probably infer about this sex difference
of the fragility. The reason that women
tend to use sort of venting and gossip
and like interpersonal [ __ ] as
opposed to their fists to try and settle
disputes or work out the pecking order
within some social hierarchy that
they're just the little bit not much but
a little bit easier to kill than guys
are. Uh and you think well you have this
very reliable like you literally know
like he's defined his job title is
serial killer. Um, and I thought that
was an interesting element. But I guess
with much of what we're talking about
here, uh, one other part I wanted to get
into was the sort of concept of
spandrels or the idea that there are
well actually you can explain spandre
better than me cuz I'm going to mess it
up.
Sure. Spandrels are are sometimes called
byproducts and it's the idea that, you
know, not everything in the human mind
or body is an adaptation that evolved
for a reason. Some things are just side
effects or byproducts. And you know to
give a silly example, if we look at my
my fingers here, the negative space in
between my fingers that forms a V, that
V didn't evolve for any reason. It's
simply a byproduct of the structure of
my fingers. And there's plenty of
byproducts in the human brain and body
and mind. Um,
the whiteness of bones. Bones didn't
evolve to be white because it helps to
fend off predators or to attract mates.
It's just a side effect of the calcium.
The redness of blood didn't evolve
because it's attractive or protects you
from pathogens. Just a side effect of
the hemoglobin. And so a spandrel is an
architectural term for again a byproduct
of uh a couple of architectural features
then when put together yield this uh
this byproduct. And this term comes up
in discussions of when we're looking at
human biology, psychology, and behavior.
And we're asking, is this thing an
evolved feature? Is it an adaptation
that serves an evolved function? Or is
it merely a byproduct, a side effect, a
concomant? That's where the term
spandrel comes up.
What are your favorite postulated
spandrels when it comes to the world of
human behavior and emotions?
Um so some some famous ones one is uh
belief in religion and gods uh is
sometimes some people try to explain it
as an adaptation like that evolved for a
reason and serves a function but some
people explain it as an as a byproduct a
byproduct of for example hyperactive
agency detection where you see agents in
the world even when there aren't any and
of the attachment system. What I mean by
hyperactive agency detection is, for
example, if you're walking by and
there's a rustle in the bush, you could
think that something is there that
caused it when really it was just the
wind. That's one error you could make.
Or you could make the other error of
thinking that it was just the wind when
there was something in the bush that
caused it. Now, the more dangerous of
the two errors is to think that, oh, it
was just the wind when there's actually
an agent there that might be hiding
hiding there and waiting to hurt you.
could be an animal, could be a hostile
human. And so we tend we have a tendency
to hyper perceive agency, to detect
agents even when there aren't any. We
see um nefarious dealings even when
things happen by chance. We think
somebody what made the noise in the
bush. We uh think that there's somebody
behind this even when it might have
happened just because of you know chance
factors or or happened without an agent.
Even in natural selection, people think
of mother nature is doing the selecting.
They think there's an agent who's doing
the selecting. When in reality, there is
no agent and there's no active
selection. It's a passive process where
whereby some organisms survive and
reproduce more than others. But we take
these passive processes and we tend to
read agents into them. We tend to see
hidden agents in them. Some thinkers
have said, "Well, that may be relevant
to religion because when you see the
thunder and the flood and the famine or
other things that happen, you may think
there's an agent behind these things
trying to punish you or reward you or
whatever." And so, some people have
viewed religious belief as as a
byproduct in that way. Some people have
viewed um murder or killing as a
byproduct because again, there's usually
debates about all of this stuff. Some
people think that that kind of
aggression, including murder, could have
evolved for adaptive reasons. But other
people think it is just
slips of people going too far. Where
aggression evolved, but it wasn't meant
to result in murder. But when you get
involved in an aggressive encounter, you
can go too far. The mechanism can get
overtriggered and can result in murder.
And so famously, evolutionary
psychologists um Martin Daly and Marggo
Wilson proposed that murder and other
kinds of of killing such as uh killing
one's children or one's stepchildren are
essentially byproducts they said of a
failure of mechanisms of parental love
to activate sufficiently. So they were
looking at all this data showing that
stepchildren were were abused and killed
at a much higher rate than biological
children. And they were trying to
emphasize that their hypothesis isn't
that people have evolved an adaptation
to kill those stepchildren, but rather
that when the normal mechanisms of
parental love and attachment are not
engaged and triggered as fully, then you
can get as a slip up or side effect or
byproduct. you can get murder. Um, as a
result,
uh, some people have pointed out the
distinction between how we learn to
speak language and how we learn to read
and write language. We learn to speak
language very, very easily. We don't
really need to be taught much. Put a kid
in an environment where he can listen to
normal language and he will develop
normal language. By contrast, reading
and writing take a lot of formal
education and a lot of work and are much
harder to accomplish. Why? the
difference. Some have theorized that
it's because we have an adaptation for
speaking and comprehending spoken
language, but written language is a more
recent evolutionary and cultural
innovation. And that's why it's so much
um harder to teach and harder to learn
and that it is a byproduct of mechanisms
that we actually evolved for spoken
language.
Oh, that's so interesting. kind of like
how uh you could look if if you didn't
know that humans had evolved for a big
long time and you saw a human sat on a
bicycle and you'd say, "Well, look at
the bicycle. It perfectly fits the
human." And you go, "Yeah, but they had
to design it that way." And then they
had to learn to be able to use the
bicycle and actually those feet, they're
supposed to work in a different way. I
know that they're there and I know that
they fit the bike, but they're actually
there to do a very different thing.
Yeah. Um Yeah. So those are some some
byproducts in the world of emotions.
Most you know I'm sure that there are
byproducts for every given emotion in
terms of what side effects they yield.
But each emotion in and of itself seems
to have evolved for a reason and seems
to be geared toward solving a problem.
So you know we can talk about anger
misfiring and we can talk about anxiety
being triggered by things that it didn't
really need to be triggered by. But
anger nonetheless as an overall emotion
as a system evolved for a reason and
anxiety as an overall system evolved for
a reason. And so I think the distinction
for us when we look at these emotions is
often the system will have evolved to
serve a function but it can still
misfire. It can still be overactive or
underactive. It can still maybe have a
too sensitive threshold for being
triggered or it can be triggered in the
wrong context. And so there are
certainly ways in which the emotion can
misfire and misfire maladaptively
while the system itself still is
functional and evolved for a reason. But
that's true of our immune systems.
That's true of our memory. You know
these things evolved for a reason. They
can still make mistakes and misfire as
well.
beyond the insight that your
understanding of your emotions and where
they come from can help you to not feel
so personally cursed uh in having to
deal with these things even when they
get it wrong um or they they fire when
you don't want them to.
How else have you applied your work to
your own life when it comes to dealing
with wanted or unwanted emotions,
mitigating them, prolonging them,
allowing yourself to make better
decisions? What what are some of the
other things that uh your work's helped
you with?
The main thing I think is in issuing
both dangers of an over vilification of
emotions or an overacceptance of the
wisdom embedded in them and replacing
that uh blanket good or blanket bad
approach with a case-bycase nuanced
approach where I try to look at each
emotion and think why it's there and
what its function is and whether or not
in this instance it's useful. uh because
again as we said you know the emotion
can be useful doesn't mean that in this
instance it's being useful and so if you
take something like sadness for example
um
you know for most of us when we
experience sadness the tendency is like
to distract from it or run away from it
or medicate it and what this kind of
this kind of approach instead would say
well let's sit with it for a minute
let's see what kind of ruminations it's
throwing at us let's see if it's telling
us to quit any paths we are on that are
not working, stuck in an abusive
relationship, stuck stuck in a dead-end
job. Is it helping me to reallocate my
resources elsewhere and telling me that
this thing isn't working and I need to
quit? If so, well then it's useful. But
if instead I can't identify any trigger
for it, it is persistent. It is
interfering with my ability to do my job
and love my loved ones and it is messing
up my life. Well, then it's maladaptive
and I should try to in that case reframe
it cognitively or uh meditate or
exercise or take medication or whatever.
But for each emotion that crops up, you
can begin by asking what's the function
and the purpose? And then in this
instance, is it serving that function or
in this instance is it misfiring?
And then you can also ask, is it has it
gotten to the point where it is
interfering with my life and making me
unable to do my stuff or is it actually
helping me to recalibrate and solve a
problem? And then you can decide whether
it needs to be interrogated and revised
and reframed or if it if it's actually
offering you some wisdom. So, it's kind
of like a it's a bit of a boring answer
because it's saying each one on a
case-byase basis and acknowledge the
good and the bad of each one, which
sounds like well, I mean, it sounds both
a little boring and a little obvious,
but the truth of the matter is that
that's probably what's going to get us
the best response rather than the way
that some people tend to either vilify
emotions as irrational or think that you
should always trust your emotions
because they always have ancestral
wisdom embedded in them. Well, certainly
beyond the emotion, the emotion can
occur or not,
one thing, the more uh levels of degrees
of separation that you get away from the
original emotion, the more I think that
you are culpable for what's going on. Uh
so, look, a thing happens and you got
anxious, but what about your frustration
at your anxiousness? And what about your
shame at your frustration about your
anxiousness? Like the more that you
stack up there, I think okay, I I may
not have been able to step into this
largely system one style like out of
nowhere thinking, but I come on, I
cannot castigate myself for being
anxious or I cannot get agitated at my
castigation about myself about being
anxious, you know. I think that that
that really not vilifying uh or deifying
uh emotions sort of too much I think is
cool. Certainly for me uh and one of the
journeys I've been on over the last year
or so since uh spending a good bit of
time in therapy has been to actually uh
embrace emotions more. I think those of
us that were kind of I don't know
seduced by the
new atheist rationalist
secular worldview. I'm going to learn
all the cognitive biases and once I've
got a glossery of all of the 150 most
likely ones I'm basically going to be a
perfectly rational human. And you
realize after a while that you're I mean
Daniel Carman famously said, you know,
after an entire career of studying human
biases, are you any more rational? And
he said, no, you know, this guy's got a
[ __ ] Nobel Prize. So if he's not
going to do it, I'm not going to do it.
Um, and trying to embrace as as you
mentioned about the gentleman in the
study who couldn't work out whether he
wanted to come on Tuesday or Wednesday
to the next appointment.
uh trying to think about the wisdom that
does come up, trying to sort of embrace
get the cerebral horsepower cognitive
[ __ ] tune that down a little bit. Uh I
think that's probably for for those of
us with a my newly uh new favorite need
for cognition uh personality trait. Uh I
think that's probably something we could
all do with doing a bit more.
Yeah, I think that's right. And I think
um you're probably right that we can
exert a good amount of control over the
second and third third order emotions
when we're like berating and castigating
ourselves for our emotions. It's
interesting. I think when we speak to
our friends too, we often say like don't
do that to yourself. Like don't make
yourself feel bad for feeling anxious.
Like we can talk about the anxiety and
whether it's warranted or not, but
independently don't be m don't be mad at
yourself for feeling anxious. just
accept that your anxiety was triggered
by this thing and now let's see whether
it needs to be reframed or not but don't
add a layer of beating yourself up for
it. Um I think we in intuitively do it
that with our friends and we can do that
with ourselves too. Um you know there is
one other thing that comes to mind. It's
a little bit of a digression, but I
think it's it's kind of an an important
way of thinking about it, which is it's
again the distinction between
the system is adaptive, but it can
misfire, or the system is adaptive, but
it can lead to outputs that are
maladaptive. And this isn't just
emotions. This is true in a lot of
different cases. I mean, if you look,
for example, at foster birds that have
brood parasite chicks deposited in their
nest. So these are other birds that
deposit their eggs in someone else's
nest so that this foster parent can
unwittingly raise these parasite chicks.
You sometimes see the foster parent
feeding and raising the chick and you
think why is it doing that? That is so
maladaptive that it's raising this
offspring that has been you know foisted
upon it. And if you think not about the
individual behavior of tolerating this
chick and you instead think about the
neurocognitive mechanisms that exist in
this bird's brain when it has to deal
with parasite chicks, there's two kinds
of errors it could make. It could be
overly tolerant and tolerate the
occasional chick, or it could make a
mistake and push one of its offspring
out the nest and kill it. And often the
safer error is to over tolerate rather
than risk killing your own offspring,
especially if you're in a species or in
an ecology that doesn't have that much
parasetism going on. And so it's like
yes, you look at the behavior of raising
the foster the the parasite chick and
you think that behavior is individually
maladaptive, but the system that
produced it is super adaptive. the
neurokcognitive mechanism in the bird's
brain that produced that is super
adaptive because by engaging in that
error sometimes it doesn't have to
engage in the more catastrophic error.
And so like occasionally when we look at
individual outputs we need to either
average in our minds across the entire
sample space of the behaviors produced
by that mechanism or we need to think
about the distinction between the output
and the mechanism. the neurokcognitive
mechanism in the brain is adaptive even
if this individual output is
maladaptive. And I don't know if other
people will care about that distinction,
but to me I find it very helpful in
organizing my thinking.
Oh yeah, Ley, you're great. I love the
work that you've done. Uh you've got a
new Oxford handbook uh of emotions out.
You've got a bunch of other stuff going
on. Where should people go? They want to
keep up to date with all of your work.
Yeah, thanks. Um, they can go to my
website which is www.lethalshaw.com
spelled l ai t h a l s h a w af. I've
got all my popular science uh articles
linked there. And then can I plug this
book that you just mentioned?
Absolutely.
Cool. Yeah,
look at that absolute monster.
So this is a 1400page book. We're very
happy with the way it came out. It's got
almost 70 chapters in it and if
anybody's interested in emotions. It um
it was several years in the making and
we're really pleased with with how it
came out.
And the cover is phenomenal as well,
which I'm aware that if it's if it's got
70 chapters, the cover is like maybe not
most of what the work was, but
uh I still think it's beautiful, too.
Yeah, I'm really glad with the work they
did with the cover. But point being if
people are interested in emotions um you
know this is a book maybe to check out
from your library or tell your
university library to get a copy.
Otherwise uh people can find me on
Twitter or X where my handle is lethal
shawaf again l ai t h a l h a w af. And
uh yeah uh I I hope people get
interested in emotions.
I think there will be after today. I
appreciate you mate. Thank you.
Thanks a lot Chris. If you enjoyed that
episode, you will love a selection of
the best clips from the podcast over the
last couple of months. And it's
available right here. Go on.