Video summary
In this episode of Impact Theory, host Tom Bilyeu interviews Ray Dalio, the founder and CEO of Bridgewater Associates, widely regarded as the world's most successful hedge fund with over $160 billion under management. Born a middle-class kid from Long Island who struggled in high school, Dalio built an empire by applying rigorous principles to his life and business. A central theme of their conversation is humility; Dalio explains that he learned this lesson after suffering massive financial losses in 1982 when Mexico defaulted on its debt, causing him to be publicly wrong about the market bottom. This painful experience forced him to confront his ego and realize that no one can always be right. He describes a process of "getting whacked in the head" enough times until he accepted fallibility, which became essential for an investor who must bet against the consensus. Dalio introduces two fundamental concepts known as the "two U's": understanding oneself (the conscious mind) and understanding others or reality (which includes the subconscious). He explains that human behavior is often driven by a conflict between our logical brain and our emotional, subliminal drives like fear of failure or ego needs to be right. To achieve success, one must align these two parts through meditation and introspection, allowing for "radical truthfulness" and "radical transparency." This approach involves creating an environment where people can speak harsh truths about each other without judgment, provided they are committed to finding the objective reality of a situation rather than protecting egos. Dalio emphasizes that if you cannot have these difficult conversations with your boss or spouse, you must leave that relationship because it is holding back your growth and preventing you from seeing what is truly true. The discussion also covers how life operates on repeating patterns, which Dalio refers to as "another one of those." By categorizing situations into different types—similar to identifying animal species in a jungle—one can apply established principles rather than guessing or reacting emotionally every time a new problem arises. For instance, firing an employee might seem unique if the person is loved and long-term, but by writing down criteria for such decisions over time, one realizes it falls under specific categories of conflict resolution that have been solved before. This mindset shift removes fear and uncertainty because individuals realize they are not facing unprecedented challenges; history repeats itself in various forms, allowing people to navigate life's "jungle" more effectively by learning from past iterations of similar problems. Finally, Dalio outlines the natural arc of a human life divided into three phases: dependency (childhood), independence (working and taking on obligations), and interdependence or savoring (retirement). He notes that while many people fear this progression, he views it as an opportunity to eventually eliminate external obligations to focus on what brings joy. Surveys indicate the middle phase of life, between ages 45 and 55, is often the least happy due to work-life balance struggles and responsibilities, whereas happiness peaks again in the final decades when people have more freedom. Dalio encourages listeners to embrace struggle as a teacher for progress rather than avoiding pain or discomfort, noting that first-order consequences (like feeling good by avoiding arguments) are often misleading compared to second-order consequences which lead to long-term strength. He concludes his mission is simply to pass these tools along so others can build their own lives of wealth and success without needing him personally involved in every step.
Read the full video transcript
My son in 2014 gave me a book by Joseph
Campbell called Hero of Thousand Faces
[music] and basically he described that
you know everybody crashes and then
you're [music] faced with uh that crash
and you either have an epiphany [music]
or you don't you either walk off the
field and say hey I don't want to do
this anymore and you give up on that
going after your audacious goals.
[music] Also, I'm in the investment
management business that you have to bet
against the consensus and you have to
bet against the consensus and be [music]
right. Or as an entrepreneur, I'm an
entrepreneur. I had to bet against the
consensus [music] and be right. And so
to gain that humility was the the thing.
So you either get off the field or you
learn.
Hey everybody, today's episode is
brought to you by our very own Impact
Theory University. Enjoy the episode.
Hey everyone, welcome to Impact Theory.
Today's guest is a number one New York
Times best-selling author and the
founder of the most successful hedge
fund of all time. He's returned more to
his investors than anyone else in this
space, which would be amazing under any
circumstance, but becomes even more
dazzling when you consider the fact that
he started out as just another
middle-class kid from Long Island. He
struggled in high school, barely got
into college, but over the course of one
of the most storied investment careers
in history, he turned himself into one
of the 100 wealthiest people on planet
Earth. With roughly 160 billion dollars
under management, Fortune magazine named
his company Bridgewater one of the top
five most influential private companies
in the US. And Time magazine named him
personally as one of the 100 most
influential people alive. He's been
called the Dainci of investing. And
given his accurate prediction of the
2008 financial crisis, it is not hard to
understand why. Using principles that
he'd established over decades, he and
his team were able to recognize the
coming implosion and position his
clients to not only weather the storm,
but to come out far better because of
it. Now, in a new phase in his life, and
armed with a conviction that there's
nothing inherently special about him,
and that his methods can be adopted by
anyone, he has embarked on a mission of
both financial and ideological
philanthropy that has made him one of
the most sought-after voices in business
leadership. So, please help me in
welcoming the author of Principles and
Big Debt Crisis, the legendary Ray
Dallio. [applause]
[cheering]
Hey, Tom. What's up, man? How you doing?
Good to see you.
Thank you so much for being here.
Thanks for
dude. Your book,
we stalked you. So, that that thanks is
uh definitely not necessary, man. what
you have done with your ideas and the
fact that you're taking the time to put
them out there is is absolutely
transformative in the way that I think
you were hoping they would be. And as
somebody who when your book came out, I
was in the middle of building my first
big company and we had raced to 3,000
employees over the span of five years.
And it was it was dizzying to say the
least. And when I read the book, it made
me realize that for the first time in my
life, I'd really had a failure of
imagination. It simply didn't cross my
mind that you could expect a group that
large to be radically transparent with
each other and to have radical cander as
a core part of the company. And so
reading the book, it was sort of my, if
you know, Roger Banister and the
four-minute mile was like until you know
that it can happen, it's you just fail
to even consider it as an option. And so
reading what you've done and the kind of
culture that you've built and the
different questions that you ask was
really transformative. So thank you for
all of that.
I'd say back at you because um like you
have your journey. We're just talking
about your journey and the same things
happen over and over again. Right. And
so if we go back to the themes and
that's really cool and what's also very
cool for me is the fact that you know
like we're moving ahead and we're
playing with literally the the the tools
and you know how to do that and it's so
great because you know I'm 70 years old
and the thing that I want more than
anything is to pass along with those
things that have been helpful and so
it's cool. I'm thank you for having me
here
dude. Absolutely. So talk me briefly.
You've talked about this, so we don't
have to go into a lot of detail, but if
you can just super fast give us the
thumbnail of how you realized that you
couldn't trust that you were always
right, which was, I think, a pretty
powerful insight.
Yeah. Well, um, I guess like you, you
know, you you come along and how do you
find out? You get whacked in the head.
You get whacked in the head enough times
and you say, "I could be wrong." And how
do you know I'm right? In my case, the
the really big case was that in um
198081, I had calculated that American
banks had lent a lot more money to
countries that would not be able to pay
the debt back. A lot of money, banking
crisis and that was very controversial
point of view. So I mean I'm talking
about wow a big thing happening and then
um so it got reported and then Mexico
defaulted on its desk in August 1982 and
I thought that we're now going to go
into an economic crisis because a number
of the other countries followed and that
was transpiring in that way and um I
started my business in 75 by the way and
at 82 I think we had like eight people
and we loved each other and we were
doing that thing but I u I couldn't have
been more wrong. Um, it was the exact
bottom in the stock market. So, I was
very publicly wrong and even more
painfully had to let go those people.
And I was so broke that I had to borrow
$4,000 from my dad to help to pay for
family bills. I mean, it was so it was
painful. But you, you know, okay, now
you got a baseball bat to the head and
to how many does it take? And then, uh,
you think, uh, okay, how do I know I'm
right? How do I know I'm right? So I was
very audacious uh you know going after
my goals and whatever my opinion I
didn't want to lose that but you know
now you're faced with the choice you
know like the way I look at it is I want
a great life how do I have the greatest
life but I can have the risk of being
wrong and then everything changed
because I figured it out
sort of like you did
you talk about the two U's which I think
is extraordinarily powerful I'd love for
you to define that and then also So
knowing that one of those U's is is the
emotional sort of ego side of you, how
did you get out of your own way like
that when you say there's nothing really
extraordinary about you? I will say that
that ability is rare in and of itself.
And so that you could you selfidentified
saying, "Oh my god, even now when I look
back on me testifying before Congress, I
am shocked at how arrogant I was." So to
go from that to actually welcome the
humility and make the change. I'd love
to know how you did that.
Um you know uh my son in 2014 gave me a
book by Joseph Campbell called Hero of
Thousand Faces and basically he
described that these things happen you
know everybody crashes
and then you're faced with uh that crash
and you either have an epiphany or you
don't. Now you either walk off the field
and say, "Hey, I don't want to do this
anymore." And you give up on that going
after your audacious goals. Or you gain
really humility. You, you know, how do
you feel that you're going to be wrong?
And so I think then that whole notion is
um, you know, to come back with the uh,
finding the smartest people I could find
who disagree with me. Um, also I'm in
the investment management business that
you have to bet against the consensus
otherwise you can't make money because
it's in the price and you have to bet
against the consensus and be right or as
an entrepreneur I'm an entrepreneur I
had to bet against the consensus and be
right and so to gain that humility was
the the thing. So you either get off the
field or you learn right and so uh that
was the process that I went through.
So, I want to get back to the two U's in
a second, but were you already
meditating by this point?
Yeah.
And do you think that meditation gave
you the ability to get out from under
the control of your emotions?
Yes. Meditation was fantastic.
Meditation is the biggest gift that I
can give anyone. And I would say more
than anything, it is whatever reason for
success I've had. Uh because it allows
one
back to the two U's. I'll clarify what I
mean is that in your mind there we think
what do you want and the reality is when
you look at the neuroscience and
psychology
that there are different parts of your
brain that want different things and so
in the simplest sense there is the
logical part of your brain that you're
conscious of. It's called the conscious
and you think you're being logical and
you want to make those decisions. And
then there's the subliminal below the
limbic system part of the brain which is
the emotional and it's not as conscious
to you but it has more of an influence
on you than really the logical one. And
so they're not aligned. And so when
you're experiencing that pain or let's
say the ego, right? There were two main
things. You got an ego barrier and a
blind spot barrier. If you can get past
your ego barrier and you get past your
blind spot barrier, you can accomplish
anything because you'll also know that
you don't have to do everything to you
don't have to figure it out yourself.
You can take in from other people the
different ways to approach things in the
best possible way. And so the
realization that we all are really
struggling with ourselves and to think
which are which is in control.
Meditation helps to deal with the
alignment of those two things because
both are valuable. In other words,
intuition, imagination, the things we
really love come from our subliminal
uses, right? Our needs, whatever they
may be, they come from here. That
subliminal, they may be valuable. They
may be scar damaging. You don't know the
difference. And so when they come up and
you're looking at those with your
logical mind and you can align those
things, you're probably in good shape.
If you can do that that alignment
between the subliminal and the logical
and you can do that with other people so
that you can triangulate with other
people and say does that make sense or
and get alignment that alignment is the
path to the future because you only have
to know what the best things to do are.
You don't have to have them all come up
from your head. And for God's sakes,
don't be overly opinionated because just
because you have that opinion, it
doesn't mean it's true. So that's where
the two U's and the alignment really is
so important. All right, I want to talk
about the process of getting those two
things aligned. Tying this into
meditation. So in my own experience,
meditation is a a stillness. It's a
quiet from the chatter of the mind. And
more maybe profoundly than that, I can
feel my brain shifts into a different
gear. So maybe it's less uh linear
thinking, it's more lateral. I'm making
connections that I might not otherwise
make. So is it in in that still in that
quiet where you're able to look at your
what's bubbling up from beneath the lyic
system, your your emotional life, you're
able to look at that without judgment
and then able to say, "Okay, but this is
what I'm trying to do sort of
consciously. These are my plans and all
of that. And now how do I are you
altering either of them or are you
beginning to say I need to understand if
this is a useful emotional driver or a
destructive emotional driver like what
is that process?
I think you describe it very well. Um
and when you go deeper by the way you go
literally into your subconscious
so you're creating a connection when you
transcend. I do transcendental
meditation. When you transcend, I I'm
not conscious and I'm not unconscious.
I am in the subconscious. I I'm not
aware. Uh but if somebody went make a
little noise like that, boom, I would c
I would. So it's not like being asleep.
And that's also, by the way, where
creativity comes from it. You know, it's
like you go take a hot shower and a
great idea comes, not because you're
musling it. So when you're having that,
then um you're calm.
and your natural state and then these
things bubble up and it helps that
alignment. So you say uh okay let me
look go above myself.
Let me let me go above myself and look
at myself within the context of my
circumstances. What is around me? How
does that work? How does reality work?
Okay, if I do this, what are the
consequences?
And so the the going above it and just
saying I'm responsible for my decisions
my life and how do I navigate the things
the things there that I can pull the
levers of to who do I get how do I do
how do I deal with those and going above
it in that calm way is really what it's
about and when you do it well with
others so you triangulate that's why I
have the radical truthfulness and the
radical transparency when you have that
radical truthfulness and the radical
transparency. You're triangulating with
others. You're going above it with them
and you're just looking at that
circumstance and you say, "Okay, well,
we're in the same goal or are we?" And
then how do I navigate those so that we
get to where we want to go? Because if
you're forming your company, you've got
your company, we're on the same mission
together, right? So now let's all go
above ourselves. What are your strengths
and weaknesses? How do we get at what's
true? And how do we do that with
transparency? And that's it.
Yeah. Oh man. So, so powerful and
putting into action, I'm really seeing
exactly how it begins to um allow and I
think truth is probably the what you
call hyper realism. The getting to such
an objective look at what is true. Um
and going back to sort of an objective
look at that emotional state, which I
think is where a lot of people struggle.
one of the biggest and most profound
probably the only lightning rod moment
in my life where it's like whoa my life
can be divided into before that literal
like instantaneous recognition and after
everything is completely different and
that was the first time where I realized
that I was being driven by something
that I had not yet recognized which was
I was telling everybody that I wanted to
generate wealth in my life but I was
acting like I just wanted people to tell
me that I was smart and so the the like
friction between those like hit this
collision. And so at the time I was just
a copywriter and the guys who would
later become my partners at the time
were my employers. And we got in this
huge fight over something stupid. And I
was arguing and arguing arguing for my
idea. I needed my idea to win because I
had they were just so much farther ahead
than me. They were smarter than me and
that they can process data faster and
and that that's just true. Like they
could think through things more rapidly
than I could. So I was like, I have an
inferiority complex over how fast they
think. And they're like 15 years ahead
of me as entrepreneurs. So I just always
feel like a buffoon. And so I'm starting
to really feel badly about myself. And
so I'm arguing for this dumb idea,
arguing, arguing, arguing. And then
finally, I wear them down and they
agree. And I was like, [ __ ] I know it's
the wrong idea. Like there's a voice in
my head screaming, you know, this is a
stupid idea. Stop arguing for it. But I
needed to win. And so when they left, I
thought, okay, whoa, what what's real? I
I just need to know what's real. No
judgment on me. If what you want is to
get rich, you have to change the way
that you're acting immediately. But if
what you really want is to just feel
smart, you need to leave this company
because butdding heads with them every
day and feeling inferior is is never
going to get you there. And so in that,
I realized, wait, there's actually a
third option where I could value myself
entirely for learning. And if I switched
my identity over from being smart, being
right, being good, being worthy to just
I learned that's what I do, then
everything will change. And it did
literally like that. Like I remember
that day so clearly.
So to me, what you're describing is just
another one of those,
right?
You have to go go deeper on that
concept, the notion that everything
loops, that history repeats, because I
think people get it from like a US
history class, but they don't
necessarily understand it in their own
life. There's practically nothing
that hasn't happened before really if
you look at the theme. So when I take
your your particular case, I I can
digress into it, but I want I I won't
I'll come back to that in in a second.
Almost everything that happens has
happened many many times before. And
just like I described, there's the
hero's journey and there's this and
that. There's that particular path and
the whole thing happens over and over
again. So my reaction um to what you're
saying is um yeah that's absolutely
right. That's a winning strategy. So if
you step back from that and you write
okay what happened to you? What we're
what happened to you is what we're
talking about. You went above yourself.
Okay.
So you exemplify you. Okay. Here are the
things you went above yourself. Now you
could have had the ego thing the bigo
barrier. Okay. the ego barrier is going
to be the thing that's sort of going to
kill you. Then by reconciling what your
subliminal desires were. Okay, I want to
be judged as smart. And then connecting
that with your intellect and saying,
"Okay, now intellect, what is really
going on here?" Okay, and then to be
able to step out of that. Now, you just
did it alone, but you could do it with
others and it's even better. And and so
you figure out, oh, okay, this is that
here's what the choices are. here's what
how reality works. And so I'm just
saying you did what we were talking
about, right? And if everybody if
everybody gets that and really
understands how to go do that, the
number the two big things is how do you
get uh your alignment of your lower
level U with your upper level U? How do
you get um past your ego and your blind
spot? And we know what the ego barrier
is like I got to be right or whatever it
is or I'm not good at this. The blind
spot barrier is the realization that
people actually see things different.
They see different things like somebody
will see the big picture, somebody will
see the detail. They'll focus on
different things almost like a color
spectrum type of thing. And if you
realize that you will see a part of that
spectrum and other people will see the
other part of the spectrum. And so that
you really need to when you go above
yourself, you really need to orchestrate
all those ways of seeing because you are
not just one of those people that's got
to do it yourself. Your way of being the
the success is to go above it and be the
orchestrator and know what you're good
at and what you're not good at. So it's
almost like if you want your life to be
successful, you will not let yourself do
certain things because you're just no
good at them. Once you get that picture
down, then you can find the path
wherever the paths are. You're
open-minded because you now you've given
up your ego barrier and your blind spot
barrier. So, your particular case just
was another one of those.
Yeah. The concept of just another one of
those I think is um it's bizarrely easy
to miss in your book. And so, I want to
linger on this point for a second. And
it's funny because people ask you this
question all the time and you give the
same answer. you're so consistent and
yet people don't spend the time that you
spend. So, let me encapsulate. Uh,
you've done so well as an investor, it's
kind of crazy. And so, needless to say,
people are like, "All right, what's the
strategy?" And your answer is actually
usually not specific. Your answer is
understand the historical context.
Understand the historical context and
get smart people around you so you're
not making decisions by yourself. So the
notion of it's another one of those is
looking at investing, looking at the
human condition, looking at your own
life as this thing that has these
repeating elements. every dimension of
every everything the way is another one
of those and um so that's how you could
if I can get people to think what I want
to convey what that means and then I I
want to then understand how to think at
the principle level because then life
becomes so much easier because if you
have the principle and what I mean by
that is um like you could look at all
the things that are coming at you and
they're just the things coming at you.
If you instead uh think of each thing as
being like a type of species, think of
it as an like an animal species or
something. Okay, what one of those is
it?
And how do I deal with those?
And you have your principle for dealing
with those.
So you have the species coming in, you
have a principle that lines up with the
species. So now there's no guesswork or
refiguring it out,
right? figure it's like um I don't know
it's a a type of snake that's coming at
you but everything is another one of
those. So when you start to think about
how do I deal with that? How does
reality work and how do I deal with
those? So the way it looks to me I'll
speak figuratively to help to convey the
image of what I mean by that.
Maybe there are something like 50
different personality types. I don't
know what the exact number is. And they
are all living out the same scripts and
maybe they're just 50 different scripts.
And then through those, you know, maybe
there's a certain xund things through
time
and it seems all confusing because we're
looking at them bit bit by bit. You
know, it's like you're in a blizzard, a
snowstorm, and each of these bits come
at you and so on. if you can kind of
step back and just say, "Okay, okay,
what one of those is it?" And it's
happened before and it's happened to
different people. So, let's say for
example, you have a kid and you think,
"Okay, now I'm a kid." And you could
just sort of say, "Okay, now you're
parenting." But whatever it is, you can
sort of says, "Hey, it's happened before
a million times and in that particular
circumstances." So when you realize
everything happens over and over again
pretty much for the same kind of
reasons, okay, and you understand that
and you can almost look at um who who's
been through it before, who knows how it
works, how do I best navigate that
thing, what are my principles for that,
then it's great. The reason I discovered
it accidentally, I discovered this
accidentally is because I got in the
habit that I'd suggest you get into and
other people get into. And that is um
whenever you're in a situation where
you're making a decision, important
decision, just pause and write down what
type of decision was it and why did I
make that decision that way. That's
writing down your principles. It's kind
of your recipe for success. and we could
talk about it and then every time I'm in
a situation I'll write down why did I
make that decision and we could look at
those criteria did that make sense to do
that decision that way would you have
different criteria and so on and you do
that over a period of time okay and then
you have your principles and then and so
they're just your reasons for making
your decisions and and what matters to
you right when you do that so that's why
I'm encouraging you because you're going
through these And then you have found a
path in life. I viewed your story, what
you just told me as just another one of
those. Now you keep doing it, it'll
become apparent to you how everything's
another one of those because what'll
happen is the next time around you're
going to find, I don't know, let's say
you're firing somebody. Use that as an
example. You would say, "Okay, now I'm
firing somebody again." Okay, now let me
just kind of reflect. Would I modify
that principle? And how would I do that?
And then, okay, now maybe you you're
firing somebody who's been with you for
10 years and you love and that's not the
same as firing the son of a [ __ ] who
you want to get rid of. So then you
refine that. How how should I deal with
that one and that and why does it make
sense? Because that reflection, why does
it make sense? Why does it make sense?
And really wanting truthfulness, you you
know, not worried about being
embarrassed, making mistakes, really on
the struggle with all of you together is
a good thing.
Yeah. So, the
how do you define a species? Like, how
do you begin to codify all this stuff
and go because I I think it's all too
easy to get lost in the well, this isn't
another one of those. This isn't just
firing somebody. This is firing somebody
that I love. And so, no, there's, you
know, this is all just so different.
It's simple because all you have to do
really is to sort to say, if you start
to think everyone's another one, and I
was when I'm making decision, I just got
to write down why I made the decision. I
don't care how you ti title it. Okay,
just write down. Okay. Uh, okay. What's
what what are your criteria? Make it
write it down. Well, you'll see that
they're close cousins. You know, let's
say if you were saying, [clears throat]
is it a different one because it's a
close relationship that you've had for a
long time or somebody is new. Okay.
Well, you'll see those two things are
close together. Okay. But it's another
one of those things. And it changes your
way of seeing things. Okay. It changes
your perspective. Again, I want to
repeat because then life becomes easier
because it's not all these bits and
pieces. Okay? It's okay. It's another
one of those. It gives you an equinimity
and like a ninja. Okay? It's another one
of these coming at me. Okay? And how do
I approach this? And then you can have a
conversation. It's just reality. How
should you deal with that reality? And
if you do that then you think in a whole
different way. Okay. You just want to
get to the best way to deal with your
realities.
You've talked about how about 30% of the
people cannot do radical cander. Be
great for you to
I call radical transparency but
whatever. So radical transparency define
what that is exactly and then what is it
about that 30% like are they they can't
get rid of the ego or what what is that?
It's just what you're talking about this
the struggle is between themselves as
you go into a conversation and uh and
you're looking at that um um they find
so radical transparency is saying super
hard [ __ ] really direct nice and clear
they're not good at this.
Yeah. Say while simultaneously saying I
don't know if that's true. In other
words, if I say that I don't I don't
think you're good at that. I'm being
honest but also who knows whether you're
good at that.
So, how do we then go from you think
you're good at it, I don't think you're
good at it, and how do we go through a
process to find out together whether
you're good at it or not?
How do we go process? That would be one
of my key questions.
Okay, the best way to do it is you do it
in an agreed upon way. Okay, the idea is
okay, we say, okay, Tom, you're not so
good at that, I don't think. Okay, and
then we go through the how would we
judge? Can we ask other people? Do we go
through this test or that test? How do
we find out what's true? Because if you
can find out what's true, your life will
be better. Like, do you want to know
what you're not good at?
If you know what you're not good at,
it's your life's no problem because it
you don't even have to get good at it.
You just have to work with somebody
who's good at what you're not good at.
Right? So there's a path forward when
you get out of your head that you got to
do that. So the only basic notion is
when we're if we were to have a
relationship is if you and by the way
it's non- hierarchical. You could say,
"Hey Ry, I don't think you're very good
at that and I'm I'm going to be the same
way. I put it in because I needed it cuz
I I'm worried that I'm going to be
wrong." So then you come to me and you
say, "I don't think it's very good."
Well, how do we find out in a non-ego
constrained objective way whether I'm
good at that or not? Do you actually lay
out criteria like here's how we're
going to Yeah, we will do. Yeah,
absolutely.
How do you come upon that criteria?
Would you do this as a one-on-one? Would
you do this in a group? Um, how do you
begin to tease that stuff out?
Um, first of all, in terms of the group,
um, I like to make everything
transparent. So, everybody could watch
the same thing happening with anybody.
So, I
You would do this in front of a large
group of people.
No, no. I would say taping. We do a lot
of that trical transparency
because that way people see is it fair
is it a good process right so I like to
do that discussion but anybody can do it
with anybody right and so but I would
like to have that conversation if it's
like if if I don't think you are good at
something and I am relevant to your life
or vice versa we got to work it out we
got to figure that out together
you do this with your wife
in all relationships
In one way or another, you have to find
out how you're going to make decisions.
There are going to be agreements and
disagreements and you have to have the
art of thoughtful disagreement. Now,
people find their domains differently.
Maybe somebody says, "Okay, I'll take
care of these things." And you take care
of that. I don't know, some people, you
know, the traditional household might
say, "Okay, I'll take care of making the
money out." And the man goes out and he
makes money on the world and then when
women says, "I'll take care of the
kids." We're not there anymore. But each
role I'm trying to say in some way you
have to find out how to do the art of
thoughtful disagreement. It's and it
makes sense. And then also knowing
what's good, what you're good at, and
what you're not good at. It's a good
thing to know what you're good at and
what you're not good at, right? What do
you do though? Like when you, let's say,
you and your wife realize, oo, we
actually have something that we disagree
with how to do with the kids. And that's
high stakes. If you do something wrong,
you could have a material impact on on
their psyche and the way that they
approach the world. So there's sort of
elevated stakes and there's just two of
you. Unless you guys had a way of
appealing to other people. Would it come
down because you said um don't worry so
much about what the person's saying,
think about the process by which they
got there.
Yeah. So I'm saying whenever there's a
disagreement between two people that
they can't get along on that, they
should pause and they should go above it
and they should say
um how do we how should we deal with
each other when that happens? In other
words, what are our protocols for um go
working ourselves through that so that
we can then move beyond that to make a
decision.
And would a specific protocol in a
marriage be something like if it has to
do with the kids, you have more
believability than I do. So therefore,
if we can't come to an agreement, we'll
go with your decision.
There are that could be one of the
protocols. The main thing I'm trying to
convey
is when people are ordinarily in an
argument, they just argue and they and
and they don't know the ground rules.
They don't have a process in place. So
if you look above it and you come up
with whatever your rules are, it may be
you could have domain. It may be that
you have a mutually agreed party that
you would say, "Okay, let's plead our
cases to and have them mediate it." It
could be a lot of different paths could
exist to say ah I think that's a good
path when we have a disagreement how we
plead our cases and then move beyond it
but you need to have the path and that's
what I mean by principled level thinking
go above it how should it be instead of
you know this type of thing right we all
need that in order to have successful
relationships
it's fundamental right when you got this
and you're not going above it and saying
why do you have this or how should this
occur then you got trouble.
Now my question becomes what is it and
and I know a lot of people watching are
going to say okay I love this this
sounds amazing but I work in an
organization that doesn't do that. So
the people who tap out this is a a
two-part question which is always
dangerous. The people who tap out and
say, "I can't work at Bridgewwater."
This whole radical transparency thing
freaks me out.
How what is it that causes them to trip
up? Because that I think is a thing
people will encounter in other companies
where this isn't a thing. Um so how do
people
watch out for that? What what should
they watch out for in people? I I can
answer
in the general's I'm going to parse your
question in a way that I think will
answer your question that'll give a
little bit clarity because there are two
things going on when you're uh
describing that because Bridgewater is
very much the opposite of a lot of
companies meaning you could talk about
anything you could talk about how we
should be to each other you can say so
so that's a culture where the person who
has the struggle with that like uh where
they can say hey I think you're a son of
a [ __ ] or they could say that to me you
could say anything you want and then we
try to find out is it true and then we
work ourselves through it so their
challenge is almost the opposite of the
other kind of challenge which is the
case in which you're trying to but in
all cases there is the notion of how are
we going to be with each other and
reaching that agreement. So let's say
you want to be a certain way with the
people you're with like your wife. It's
the same path. If you cannot sit down
and have a conversation about how we're
going to be with each other because they
won't welcome it and that way of being
is an unacceptable way of being for you
and your development, get the hell out
of there. Okay? But you have to be able
to sit down and say how are we going to
be with each other and will that be good
for you and then will that be good for
me and you got to be clear that's why
culture is so important you know what
kind of culture do I have a culture in
which I can have those conversations or
am I going to be in a culture in which I
can't I hear so many cases because now
now because of I communicate with people
on social media you know I put the
principle there then we discuss each one
of those principles and I so
often
run into people who say, "But I can't
talk to my boss that way and I can't
have this conversation and I can't do
this and that." And it's very simple
thing like, "Okay, so what are you going
to do about it?" And what you know, like
if I can't talk to you and whatever and
I'm going to not be able to even know
what's true because I can't have the
conversation, I'm going to have a
terribly a terrible life. I'm having the
life that I don't want. I don't even
know the direction. and I can't be in
the mission with you and so I'm going to
be in this terrible life. Now you have a
choice. Do you want that terrible life
to be smothered in that particular way?
But realize there's a world out there.
Don't feel so trapped unless you really
are trapped trapped. Trapped. But most
people aren't. It's like it's like um
you know too many fish in the sea. There
are a lot of people marry. If you if the
first one is not working out right and
it really is fundamentally wrong, okay,
move on. And in your job, it's the same
thing. So decide, okay, where you want
to go because those are the path. Own
it. What are you going to do about it?
You have to move on. Okay. So either
have a great relationship like you you
and your wife or the same at work or
move on.
What are some of the most um surprising
principles that you've learned over the
years? Things that really take people
back. Well, that life works almost the
opposite
than the way you believe it works. That
the things that you think
are good
are often bad for you.
Can you give me an example?
Oh, it happens all the time.
This first order consequence versus
second order.
Yeah. Yeah. like it feels good almost
always or quite often the first order
consequences of things like
um I feels good it makes me happy I
don't want to argue uh I don't want to
deal with the challenges I want to avoid
the pain that whole litany of things
that you would say ah that's going to
bring you a happy life kind of thing the
second order consequences are more often
the opposite than the first order
consequences. I mean it just so I don't
know the foods you eat the ones that
taste good are the probably the ones
that aren't the ones that you should be
eating or something. So now when you
start to realize that life is almost a
trick. Okay, it's almost a trick. Okay,
are you going to go for the first order
consequences or the second order
consequences? Or I don't I don't want to
argue or I don't want to or the whole
ego thing. Okay, I want to feel good
because I want to feel good about myself
because I don't want to discuss whether
I have those weaknesses. On and on and
on. Okay, is radical truthfulness a good
thing or a bad thing? I I look at this,
you know, like I say, oh look, all we're
doing is being truthful and transparent.
What's the problem with [laughter] this?
Like, okay, you're being truthful. So,
but but then people, you ask them,
what's the problem? or do you want to
know what your weaknesses are? And you
ask them what's the problem? Okay, it's
always that that's not healthy. So so
many aspects of life are more actually
opposite convention like comfort, it's
comfortable. Well, look, life teaches
you over and over again. You want to get
stronger. Okay, it's not comfortable.
You want Okay, so stronger does not go
with necessarily comfortable pain. Okay.
Pain plus reflection equals progress.
Pain is a teacher. You want to eliminate
pain from your life, you're going to
have a better life. No, no, no. Because
it's giving you messages. Okay? So, so
many different things are the opposite
of what we're taught. And it goes down
to even the education system. Okay? You
failed.
Hey, that's the beginning of a discovery
process. That's a good thing. Okay.
Okay. Now, how do I look at failure and
learn from failure? No, you're stupid.
You failed. [sighs]
How do people find out like their
nature? And do you think of us all as
having a sort of true nature? And then
from that, how do people decide on the
paths of
accomplishment or savoring and what to
define those for people?
Yeah, there's there's a couple of
concepts in there, so I'll uh they're
related and I'll uh but I'll parse them.
Um
first of all on the nature it's really a
self-discovery process
discovering what you want uh discovering
what you like you were describing your
various cases where you're discovering
what you like and then you go through
that discovery and and the best way to
do that is to want to do that right it
takes an hour and it's a self-discovery
thing.
Did you guys you created it yourself?
Yeah. And and and we've used others.
We've used MyersBriggs, team dimension,
workplace inventory, and so others. And
then we move beyond that. The main thing
like is if you want self-discovery, you
then you then you'll find your ways of
getting the self-discovery. They'll
appear all around you. And yes, you have
your nature. The thing that pulled don't
be, you know, a round peg in a square
hole. Find your nature. what's going to
flourish and make your you know that's
why I said when you were talking about
your development mine too make your
passion and your work the same thing
know what your nature is yes so I
believe in terms of um that particular
nature then we get to the particular of
uh one of the big choices in life is
savor life or
um accomplish
like we have a lot of choices in our
lives and they're almost sort of
mutually exclusive sometimes
uh you know I just I want to go to the
ball game and I want to watch movie and
I want to do that and I just want to sit
back and on a nice day and smell the
roses. Okay, simultaneously
I want to change the world.
Okay, I want to change the world and
I've got this or um the work life
balance question and all of those we
face those types of choices. Right? So
um it's really important to go above
oneself and to reflect on that and also
by the way to realize that um the the
choices are not you're approaching the
choice wrong when you
often see it as kind of that tradeoff
because the truth is you can have a lot
more life and you can have a lot more if
you just know how to get more out of a
minute. How much do I get per per minute
or how much do I get per hour?
Do you have secrets on that? Cuz I will
take them.
There were there are a number of them in
in here but and we could talk about
them. But the capacity
to rather than we do all have to face
our choices but to also realize that you
can expand how much life you're going to
get out of life and how at at that range
if you really do it well.
So there are those choices which are
those choices and we face them and then
you have to decide how to do them well.
Give me a couple things that I can do to
get more out of a minute. First of all,
if you do make your passion and your
work the same thing, um then you're it's
great, right? Because your passion uh
whatever it might be, you're a painter
or you're an entrepreneur or whatever
that is and you find that more enjoyable
than going to a ball game, let's say,
then that's becomes a passionate thing.
That's one thing. Second, to know how to
work with people who can do things
really well to get the most leverage out
of people. Okay. Third, how do you get
yourself really what are the right work
habits? Um, you know, anyway, there's a
whole bunch of those kinds of things
where you you how do I just just what
you say, how do I get it done without me
doing it?
Who's the best to do it? And how do I
get it? Oh, you all of a sudden you open
yourself to up to all different
possibilities of how you can do that,
right? No time. I think Tim Ferrris
wrote what the 4minute
or the 4hour
4 hour work week. Yeah.
Work week or something like Okay. 4-hour
work week. Okay. Or Okay. There are
approaches
all those ways of being able to do that.
So, I just gave you uh uh you know a
few.
What are the elements of struggling?
Well, What does it mean to struggle well
and how do we do it?
Well, first that that's why that phrase
I use the phrase struggle well or tough
love.
Okay, I put those words together because
that ex exemplifies the fact that people
don't think they go together. And so if
you start to realize struggling well is
what you're uh will get you what you
want. Okay, rather than avoiding
struggle u that's what I'm trying to
convey. And so um if you realize that
then you will go to the struggle.
You won't be averse to the struggle and
you will think and and then under that
in the book I wrote all these different
ways of what it means to struggle. Well,
okay. how you uh have thoughtful
disagreement, how you listen to maybe
you're not good at that or not, how you
learn, how you navigate all the ways
through that so that you get stronger
because if you don't struggle, you won't
get stronger. Okay? So struggling well,
go above it. You know, okay, struggling
well, a big element is to go above your
struggle just like you did. I you look
back and say, okay, um am I struggling
well? rather than be in it and doing
those things. So there are a lot of
different ways of how to struggle well.
But if you know, okay, that struggling
is a good thing. Okay, if you want to be
strong, it's a good thing. I'll give you
another example. I have a a saying.
If you worry, you don't have to worry.
And if you don't worry, you have to
worry. [laughter]
Okay? Because what I mean is
um if you're worrying about what can go
wrong, you chances are you will create
the protections against that thing going
wrong. And therefore that's good.
And if you're not worrying about the
things that are going to go wrong,
then they'll probably the things you
never expect are going to come and hit
you. Okay? And so it sounds
counterintuitive.
If if you worry, you don't have to
worry. And if you don't worry, you
better worry. But what it means is that
process of okay, go to the thing. Go to
it and enjoy it. View these things as
puzzles. Your personality will change.
You'll enjoy it. Okay? Because life is a
puzzle. It's it's a going through the
jungle. Okay? It's it's like that. I'll
I'll I'll tell you a story. Yeah. So I
um I crash and I figure, oh risk and
reward go together.
You want to have a great life,
okay, and you want to be safe at the
same time. They sound almost like
mutually exclusive.
Okay. So I h So I viewed it as okay I'm
like sitting on one side of a jungle and
that if I can get to the other side of a
jungle safely I'll have a great life but
okay but if I cross the jungle all sorts
of things going to happen. Now what am I
going to choose? Am I going to be on
this side of the jungle and have just an
ordinary life
or am I going to have what I think is
the best life possible but oo I can get
bit and all those things. And that's
just the nature of life. And then I and
I said, I have to it's my nature. I have
to have the best life I can have. So
I've got to go into the jungle. Now the
question is, how do I go into that
jungle and be successful at that? And I
could tell you the answer.
The answer is first by worrying about
what I don't see that I might be wrong
with. and to do it with people who see
the things that I might not see and we
are all doing it as a mission to get
through that jungle well together and
when I went through that jungle and we
do that together the thing I found out
which is so wonderful is I don't want to
leave the jungle I don't want to get to
the other side because I want to be with
those people on that mission and that
whole experience is becomes great so I
found my way to be successful in the
jungle to get to the other side and I
found out what really is a great reward.
Yeah, that's extraordinary and and I
that resonates with me so hard about
really enjoying the struggle and a
that's what's making you stronger. B,
there's just something innate certainly
with a certain personality type that
that is what you're going to love is
that fight and reaching your limits and
pushing beyond them. Now I'm curious,
is there going to be a struggle for you
in the third phase? Is there a new
jungle that you're going into? So you to
quickly define that for people, you said
uh in phase one, you're dependent on
others. You're essentially a child and
you're learning. Phase two, you go to
work. Other people become dependent on
you. And then at the end of phase two,
you pass it off to other people. You
want them to thrive without you. You
give them the knowledge and the
wherewithal. And then in phase three,
you do
uh um you save her life. Um
what's that going to look like for you?
It's the freedom to do whatever you want
to do without obligations. It is the
realization that you shouldn't and it's
not good to control anybody. It's just
savoring life that you have you you can
do anything you want. You go from fre
you go to freedom. um if there's a life
arc.
Yes,
there's a life arc. And in um I I put
together this book is a 600page book. I
also then uh was asked by a lot of
people to make a um simpler version um
about uh principles for success and it's
a little book and it'll be out uh or
putting it out on the uh news stands.
You actually could be pre-ordered on
Amazon. Um, and in that book I show a
life arc and I track through what are
the various phases of life and what what
is the happiest phase, what is the least
happy phase and how does it work and I
could take you through all that if
you're interested.
I'm very interested. Okay. Well, I don't
depends how much time we got, but um
okay, that um
maybe the slightly nutshell.
Okay, this the nutshell version is you
start off and it it is very very um it's
it's a really enjoyable phase in life.
You start to have u start to experience
responsibilities like junior year, okay,
do I get into the school I want to get
into or whatever? That's quite common.
College is great. It's exploratory. Come
out of college, there's the most amount
of freedom you have. So that transition
end school come into now the new phase
of life is totally different than the
first phase of life because what it
means is you don't follow any track all
all through there you are following
track and the definition and the
direction of others and now you can live
anywhere you want you can pick any job
you want you can do anything you want
you have total freedom there's no guide
you can do anything you want you have
that freedom and you move forward with
that and then you start to make
decisions and you start to um take on
obligations. You might get married, you
might have kids, you have jobs and you
take on that. And the least happy period
in life by s surveys of happiness is um
45 to 55. Okay, that uh uh because that
then you have
the work life balance and the
obligations and too many things to do
and uh and then maybe it's not as ideal
idealic as you want you know ah you get
into the marriage and whatever it is and
then maybe it's not the marriage that
you expected or the things that you're
having and all of those things that's a
difficult phase of life that middle part
of that phase in life 45 to 55 and so
want um and then people transition. It's
interesting and opposite than what I
would have expected that the happiest
phase in life is um between uh 60 and 80
and and and the you know the funny thing
about it which is really funny um they
ask people um
um how good do how good do you look
um and they rate it the highest at
[laughter] that age. Now that's not
true, right? But what happens is people
at that po point feel more comfortable
with themselves in various ways. When
you make that transition, you're
eliminating all of those obligations.
You're eliminating all of those things.
You're giving yourself free. I don't
have to take care of it. I savor a my
family's well without me or whatever is.
Ah, I've got the free time. I could do
whatever I want to do. That doesn't mean
life isn't exciting. I find life very
exciting. I'm very vital. I like like
those types of things. But totally free
of choice. And you also savor the life
arc. You know, even as people approach
their death, they approach the death in
a whole different way than what death
seems to be for people in their early
years, right? Oh, you're terrible,
terrible thing. No, it's just part of
that particular process. And how do you
do that life arc? And ah the curtain
goes down, you know, and that is a
different phase in life. So, um, you
know, my responsibility now is to pass
along what I'm doing. Like, all right, I
got plenty of money, so I'm not working
for money. I'm giving away plenty of
money because of because it helps and
whatever. And I'm just passing along.
I'll have that life arc and and then I'm
going to go quiet and I'm going and I
save her life and yeah, I could just I
love nature. So, I go out outside in
nature. Okay, that has a big effect on
me. I love it. So that's what the third
phase of my life looks like.
Yeah, man. That the whole notion that
you're living an arc, that there are
phases, I think, is really important.
And I I don't think enough people
recognize that your frame of reference
will change as you move from phase to
phase. And what was important to you in
one phase will not be important to you
in the next. And to because I was
thinking as you were talking, I was
like, I personally don't believe that
you can skip a phase. I don't think that
certainly not with my personality and
probably not with yours. It's not like
you can skip the the accomplishment
phase and go straight to the saver
phase. And I thought about that. You
know, my wife and I have made enough
money we could buy an island and retire
and and just be done with it. And when I
really thought about how that would make
me feel,
didn't seem like it would make me feel
the way that I want to feel because I
still want to be in the jungle. But as I
hear you describe the savoring, it's
like, yeah, I get how my life could get
to a point where that's what I would
crave. Yeah. You see what I'm hearing
you do well is you're looking down on
yourself. Again, you you're describing
I'm looking at how I feel. I'm looking
at So, you're connecting the the
feelings with the thinking and I So,
that's that's true. And in terms of No,
of course, there's a sequence to that
life. What I did in the book, which
would be fun for people to do, is I show
all the different markers in and in and
all the different phases and little
boxes next to them. And so, what they
can do is they can check where they are.
they know exactly where they are and
then also by showing that I'm showing
them what they can expect because if
they're if you're here on that arc you
can expect these things probably as
you're going check check those are the
things now you can start to imagine
where do I want to be in 10 years and
also where are the people I love who I
care about or what are their
relationships where will they be where
will my children be in 10 years and what
will they go through or what will my
parents
Where will they be in 10 years? And how
will that relate to how I want to have
my life go? Because and it's the same
thing. You'll see the same things happen
over and over again. All these lives are
basically kind of the same things. So,
and when you put that in perspective and
you step back and you look at it, it's
really great.
Yeah. When you were saying that, I
actually was getting a little emotional.
the notion of it's another one of those
like the and I say that in a way
designed to remove fear and uncertainty
which is something that paralyzes so
many people and I think one of the
things you've really given certainly me
and anybody who's really deeply come in
contact with your work is that sense of
there is that higher perspective that
shows that you're not the first person
to have a child. You're not the first
person to embarrass yourself publicly.
You're not the first person to go
through whatever heartbreak or heartache
that you're going through. And when you
can contextualize it, then you get to
another thing that you've said, which of
course um Buddhists have been saying for
a long time. This too shall pass. Like
whatever hardship you're in the middle
of or whatever joy you're in the middle
of, it's it's all part of a cycle. And
so all of it will ease in the end. And
so yeah.
Yeah. And your preferences will change.
Realizing how it works is so great
because like the thing you love at 10 is
different than the thing you love at 20
or 30.
We all can think what is the thing you
loved at 20 or 30.
Woo that was fun. And then you go to 40
and you go to 50 and they change. and to
realize how they will change
and and you move beyond.
It's it's beautiful and it's helpful.
That's incredible. Ry, I will be deeply
saddened when you finish your time of
getting all of this out into the world,
but I am beyond grateful that you've
taken the time to do it. Certainly,
there was no obligation to do all this,
but it's just beyond extraordinary, man.
Thank you for all of it. As somebody who
uses your tools in this company, my
gratitude knows no bounds. They really
are the most profound business tools
I've ever encountered in my life. Uh I
don't know how much you want us talking
about exactly what we're using yet, but
just know that we are insanely grateful.
Um where can people connect with you in
the remaining time that we have with the
public? Ray Dalio.
Um I would recommend that if you
interested in what we're talking about
um the best thing if you have an iPhone
um you can go on principles
um uh principles in action on the
there's a free app and it gives the book
and it actually takes people into what
the culture is like and all that and
it's free. So that would be that's it's
the book plus stuff. It also has a an
app there that helps you write down your
own principles. So the exercise that I
was describing to you where in other
words you're in it and now what's what
one of those is it and what's my
principle it it's provided there so that
you can capture your principles and
easily call them up. Anyway, that would
I think people find people helpful. I'm
also on um exchanging thoughts on social
media. We have um um what we call the
principles of the day. We talk about the
particular principles of day. We're
doing that um in a number of places and
I'll do that until I pass the tools
along. The tools are coming in January.
There'll be a number of those. I imagine
they'll be passed along take something
like a year and then I'll be done and
we'll move past it.
It's incredible, man. All right.
Thank you, by the way. Thank you in the
following way. Like it's such a joy to
be passing these along. really it's it's
it's a joy and a relief and so to be
able to do that and to see like the
impact it's having on you and your
company
and all of that is I mean that's all I
want really and so that is a joy so I
reciprocate I I'm glad you are deriving
a lot of benefit and thank you for the
joy in sharing with me that benefit that
it's producing
oh yes no problem
what is the impact that you want to have
on the
Well, right now all I want to do is just
pass along what's been good for me for
people to look at it, take it or leave
it and and that's it. I don't have a
goal uh of making something
different than it should be. Okay. But
it if if it's like if you found a cure
for cancer or you found something that
was really valuable to you and you
wouldn't want to have it die with you
and know so just like you're deriving
the benefit. I just want to put it out
there and let people decide for
themselves whether it's valuable and
that's all I want to do. And whatever
happens is okay, right? So it I don't
have to change the world, whatever. It
will naturally find its place. Evolution
will decide its value. I love that. All
right, guys. He would want me to tell
you that he's just another one of those.
That is definitely not how it feels. If
you haven't read his books, read them. I
assure you they are something completely
unique and different. It's the way that
he thinks and conceptualizes. Whether
you want to be a better mom, whether you
want to be a better entrepreneur, it's
pretty irrelevant. The way that he gets
you to think is the important part. So
the actual specific principles are less
powerful than the concept of another one
of those and having principles and
knowing how to categorize things and
think through them. He is putting out
some of the most lifealtering material I
have ever come across. I you guys have
seen enough of these episodes to know
like I I don't rave this highly about
stuff very often. It is that
transformational. It's had that kind of
impact on me personally and the
business. I can't encourage you to dive
in enough if you haven't already. Be
sure to subscribe and until next time,
my friends, be legendary. Take care.
Ray extraordinary.
Thank you.
If you go in and ask for a raise,
[music] you're not devaluing yourself.
you're actually increasing your value
because what type of person would go in
and ask for a [music] raise? A top
performer. So the second thing is they
believe that they have to kick down the
door of their boss and say like give me