The Idiotic Scientist Who Got His Tongue Permanently Frozen (SCP-026-J)
Watch on YouTubeVideo summary
The video introduces SCP-026-J, an object classified as Safe that appears to be a decorative light pole with a 400-watt street light package. Despite its ordinary appearance, the entity exhibits anomalous properties by maintaining freezing temperatures between -7°C and -8°C at all times, regardless of external stimuli or environmental conditions. The containment procedures specify that SCP-026-J must be housed in a standard humanoid cell to accommodate the needs of its sentient aspect, SCP-026-J-1, who is referred to as an "idiot popsicle." This entity requires liquid rations three times daily, with a strict prohibition on any liquids exceeding 1°C to prevent further freezing incidents.
The narrative centers around a specific incident involving Dr. Nicholas and D-Class personnel, highlighting the dangerous consequences of interacting with the frozen pole. During testing protocols, Dr. Nicholas is ordered to lick SCP-026-J despite warnings about its sub-zero temperature, dismissing the risk as merely an urban legend similar to sticking one's tongue to a cold fence. When he complies with the command, his tongue becomes permanently frozen to the pole, illustrating the lethal reality behind the object's properties. The transcript emphasizes that personnel are strictly forbidden from touching their tongues against SCP-026-J under any circumstances, as doing so results in severe injury or permanent loss of body parts.
Following the incident, a note indicates that hot water will not be issued to SCP-026-J-1 until October 17th, suggesting a punitive measure where the entity must endure its freezing state for a month or until their tongue is fully frozen off, whichever comes first. The document reflects on the absurdity and danger of the situation, noting that anyone foolish enough to stick their tongue to an anomalously cold pole deserves the outcome they receive. The story concludes with Dr. Johnson and D-Class subject 4278 exiting the chamber, leaving Dr. Nicholas stuck to SCP-026-J as a cautionary tale for future researchers and personnel.
Read the full video transcript
Item number
SCP-026-J
Object class: Safe.
If you're not a Dr. Johnson.
Special containment procedures list:
SCP-026-J [singing and music]
is
to be contained in a standard humanoid
containment cell in order to accommodate
SCP-026-J-1's
needs.
SCP-026-J-1
is to be fed standard liquid rations
three times a day
with the special requirement of no
liquids above 1° C.
At no time are any personnel to stick
their tongue against SCP-026-J,
no matter how fun they may be.
The incident SCP-026-J-E
Description:
SCP-026-J
is a decorative light pole identified as
a 400-W
style street light package.
SCP-026-J
is observed to exhibit freezing
temperatures at all times, regardless of
stimuli, between -7° and -8° C.
SCP-026-J
was in standard containment until
incident SCP-026-J-A
be below.
After this incident,
05-7
ordered Rick Astley Nicholas to be
designated as an idiot popsicle.
SCP-026-J-1 [music]
for 1 month or until their tongue
freezes off.
Whichever comes first.
05-7 note, hot water is not to be issued
to SCP-026-J-1
until October 17th
as they deserve what happened to them.
Incident log, SCP-026-J-1
On Dev 7th, 2015 2015
the following of the service of
SCP-026-J's
[music]
original containment cell.
Incident SCP-026-J-A
Begin log. Dr. Johnson, so what do we do
with this thing again?
Dr. Nicholas, I'm not sure. We're
supposed to be testing with it, but I
don't think there's much here.
I got my tongue stuck once when I was a
kid to one almost like this.
Not anomalous, obviously, but either
way, man, it did suck.
I'm pretty sure that's just an urban
legend.
Are you serious? Aren't you a material
scientist?
Yes, I'm just saying I think that's just
an urban legend.
Dr. Johnson exits the chamber for a few
minutes and returns with a D-class
designated D-4278.
Hey, D-4278,
lick it.
D-4278,
isn't that the light pole? Look, I'm not
stupid. I'll get my tongue stuck to it.
Just do it. That's an order.
Honestly, I'd rather be shot.
Oh, for God's sake, it's just an urban
legend. Watch.
Dr. Nicholas is ordered to walk up to
SCP-026-J
and press their tongue up against
SCP-026-J,
sticking it firmly to the pole. Oh god,
the tongue is stuck. Help. You know
what? You deserve it, you twit.
Shouldn't you be like getting help or
something?
Yeah, but will a little guy help me?
Nope.
Anyone dumb enough to stick their tongue
to an anomalously sub-zero pole deserves
what's coming.
This isn't funny.
Yes, this is.
This is why you should avoid cold posts.
Date 4278 and Dr. Johnson exits the
chamber. Leaving Dr. Nichols stuck to
SCP-026-J.
End log.