The guidebook to successful alien contact - lessons from fostering rescue dogs - EMF 2026

[applause] Thank you. So, you might be wondering what have dogs and aliens uh got in common and uh what can we learn from them? Is this mic working? Okay, great. Uh so, I think there's a lot of overlap. Uh we've been fostering dogs for about a year now, me and my partner, and some of them have been quite like aliens. They've never had any experiences before. And it's all about us kind of building that understanding of their behaviors, them of our behaviors, building relationships, and being able to live happily together. And this is Sweet Healthy, um, who's one of the stars of this presentation. He's the dog we fostered for the longest for 5 and a half months. So, what is the key ingredient to successful alien contact? Some people may think it's science, and sure, there's a lot to be learned from aliens by science. You can learn how they breathe. Maybe they have some sorry maybe they have some solutions to different problems we have. But I think really the answer is trust because wouldn't it be far better to be friends with the aliens rather than know all the science stuff that can come later. Um so I think if you can be curious and build trust you can do far better than NASA. So just a bit of a background on what dog fostering is. So, we do dog fostering for a charity called Heathland's Animal Sanctuary, which is local to us in Hertfordshire. Basically, last year we came back late from holiday, went to the pub dog festival, met a dog called Olaf, and started fostering. Um, so every charity will be different, but basically for us, Heathlland's all of the dogs that they uh rescue, majority go into foster homes cuz that's a far better experience for the dogs rather than being in kennels. And it helps them build up the confidence um to be ultimately adopted, letting them learn kind of what it's like being in a house because some of them have never been in homes before. Um giving So we provide them a safe space, walkies and um we try and teach them some tricks and Heathland's provide the food, bedding, toys, cover any vet bills. The average time of foster is 2 to four weeks. We've had 1 week to 5 and a half months. So, it can be a big range just depending on the individual dog and its needs. Um, there's also a support network of other fosterers as a Facebook group. So, we do holiday cover. We were meant to be fostering a dog called Andy. We don't get to choose the names uh next weekend, but he's actually just been adopted. So, the process is the dogs arrive, you get a range of they could be really confident, they could be terrified. We often don't know much about their background. Some of them they might come from straight from transports. We've had some dogs come straight from Ireland or Romania. The charity has uh arrangements with kind of pounds in those places. Sometimes they might come from a home if the dogs having to be uh put up for adoption for some reason or come from another foster. Um, and what our job is to settle them and build their confidence, broaden their experiences and get to know them to kind of build their give them a dating profile so they can be advertised saying this is the dog, this is what they like, don't like, the kind of home that would be good for them, uh, to ultimately give them the best chance of a successful forever home. And um, whilst we care for these dogs during the time, the ultimate goal is to get them that perfect forever home who are willing to work what with whatever quirks they might have. So, I do this with uh my partner Lamus who's there in a yellow tie-dye top and a cap um along with our dog Benji cat jam jar. And we also have um friends who kind of come around and help with kind of getting socialized, neighbors who put up with sometimes barking in the night. And our dog training instructor sometimes comes and shows us in five minutes how to get a dog to sit that we've been trying for 3 weeks. So, this is Benji. Uh he's a bit over six. He's our border terrier and he's taught us a lot about different behaviors and how to overcome some of the challenges and he's really important in our role in fostering because he acts as a great emotional support dog. So huge contribution to the cause. Enthusiasm, it kind of depends on the dogs. Sometimes he really loves them, sometimes he's just kind of like you're here. Um but he's plays that really big role. Um, and whilst he's a great emotional support dog for dogs, he's not a great a great emotional support dog for us. Um, so he has a lot of dislikes and sensory challenges. He doesn't like the wind. If the door blows, we have to tell him he's a brave boy. Um, he doesn't like being touched in certain ways. Um, so we've learned a lot from him that we've been able to apply to foster dogs. Um, and this was Benji meeting some of the dogs. So, this is Olaf, who was a lovely but very, very, very dim colleague. Uh, this was Alfie, who I think basically adopted Benji as his mom. And this was when we had Alfie and Percy. Uh, and you can see Benji kind of wincing at Percy, the foot touching Percy. Um, and so then just thinking about in a kind of meeting aliens, what is that? who could be that non-threatening person or dog or creature uh to help build the confidence in kind of that non-aggressive just kind of taking time being their way. Um and what Benji really helps is build that confidence of what's okay for the other dogs to encounter people it's okay to encounter. So, even the dogs where they don't have so much uh kind of kind of playing with Benji, we found one of our recent uh fosters when she got adopted, Bonnie, Benji and her didn't play that much. They're both older, not so interested, but she's now more nervous meeting other people outside because she doesn't have Benji to kind of give that sense check that, oh, they're okay, take the treats. Then we've got Jamar, our cat, who is less keen on this whole fostering dogs venture. Although when Alfie was old enough to get neutered, she did seem to notice the difference in hormones and she started a bit of a power play with him and blocking the stairs. Um, but what she does in all of this is helping um identify whether dogs can be home successfully with cats and uh some so some of our dogs have gone on to successfully be with cats. One of them confusingly with a cat called Benji. So to give a bit of the narrative, I'll talk about Percy and Alfie. So, I've showed you Alfie already, and there was a picture of Percy. They're actually brothers from the same litter, we were told. Um, but they don't look anything alike. So, whether you can have uh dogs from the same litter with different fathers, um, maybe Alfie was a cuckoo in the nest, maybe it was some experiment like in twins. So, you've got Alfie who was the kind of he looked like a small German shepherd, more like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Um, but he was terrified of everything. And when we came to adopt foster the puppies, we thought, "Oh, puppies. We'll only have them a couple of weeks. There'll be huge demand for puppies. Everybody wants a puppy." Uh, not realizing that it could take us over a month to be able to touch the puppies um just because they were so terrified. Um, so Alfie with zero confidence, but loved having another dog around. And actually, part of his delay of getting adopted is they needed to find the right home for him who had a dog to help him continue to build that confidence. Whereas Percy was like a little long Jack Russell. Had the terrier behaviors, loved learning tricks, loved curling up with the dogs he liked, hated all other dogs, and would bark at them to let them know that uh he was far more confident. And so what we learned kind of like Benji being that emotional support dog, Percy would get used to things with Benji, then Alfie would see that and copy that. And that's how kind of we gradually introduced everything. And um yeah, it took a long time, but we got there. And that was really rewarding. And that is one of the really rewarding things about dog fostering is just seeing how far they come along. Each time they learn something new, a lot of the time they've never played before, so they start picking up toys. Sometimes you can tell they don't know what they're doing. Um but that bit is really rewarding. The puppies, as they were puppies, they did some chewing. They did some barking in the night and howling in the night. We had quite a lot of sleeping on the sofa to build that up. Um, but that's all part of the process. So, we've all got different ways of how our brain works. Everybody's different and being different is great, but it brings challenges. Um, and what we've learned with fostering dogs that I think applies equally to people and would apply also to aliens is some of the key differences and understanding the behavioral um, how behaviors come out and what might be contributing to that. Um, so we've got sensory overload with Benji. he's got touch uh challenges. So, we did something called the bucket game that gave him control to help build up that touch to help him be able to get his vaccinations. Uh for the foster dogs, everything is new. Uh so, we've had ones where they're kind of doing something normal and then you turn the TV on and they're like, "Ooh, what's that? Never experienced that before." We had a dog who seemed like he was perfectly confident in everything. We tried to get him to go upstairs. No, never done it. Didn't know what to do. So, it's just that getting used to all those new experiences and doing that in a gradual way that helps them build the confidence to do it. And for an alien, it would be exactly the same unless they've been studying us. But then, even if they've been studying us, they might have different expectations of how things are. Um, so the whole process is giving space, giving them some predictability, giving them some control to help manage all of these new experiences with everything being so overwhelming. And then we've got the past experiences influencing how they act. So that might be negative experiences they've had or just experiences they've never had. Um so we had uh one dog Marvin who would always stay by the door because he our theory is he'd probably been abandoned. So he wanted to stay by the door so he knew it where we were and that we'd be coming back for him. Uh we've had Bonnie who was nervous of people holding objects. So she's probably obviously had some bad experiences and so just being aware of that and then when introducing new people making sure that they know have your hands on show and just cool, calm and collected. And with the puppies, they just not had any experiences. So with dogs, you've got fear stages they they develop. So before 8 weeks, they don't really have much fear. So they kind of do everything with excitement. Kind of like little kids have got no fear of jumping off things. They don't know what could go wrong. Um, but if they don't get these key experiences from ages 11 to 8 to 11 weeks and then they've got another fear response that hits 6 to 14 months, they just don't know what to do and the automatic response is fear which might come out in any different way. So, it's just important to be curious and adaptable to their needs. And then um the third challenge being communication. So, they speak a different language, aliens would speak a different language. uh some of the dogs we've had come from different countries. So even if they did know some keywords like sit, it's going to be different. Um and you've also got the challenges of stuff like eye contact. So for humans standard is eye contact is good for showing respect and conversation, but it doesn't make everybody feel comfortable. For dogs, it's a sign of aggression. For cats, when we first got our cat, we had to do a lot of slow blinking to help build her trust. Uh, so it's all just knowing that everything's going to be different. Just go with it. Um, if you can have a translator, great, but that's not always going to be possible. Um, so just going with that kind of what's those universal languages of positive reinforcement and treats. Um, and that's the other challenge of with that communication is how you signal things that you can't communicate otherwise. So how do you signal that I'm going out, but I'm going to come back. I'm not leaving you forever. Um, so that's what we think about how we kind of set up our home in a safe space for the dogs. So, just going on to with all of this overload and everything, the fear responses. So, our experience with dogs is that they're just like humans. You've got fight, flight, or freeze. And so, I'm going to assume aliens would probably be the same, might be different, but there's going to be some overlaps. Um, and in dogs, the fight can show up as aggression or it can also show up as destruction. Um, so you have different ones from different dogs. Percy, who was a little terrier, he was actually scared of other dogs, but he would because he was scared before even meeting them, he'd bark at them quite aggressively. And then if you've got an a dog who is also either scared or aggressive, they're going to bark back and it can escalate. Um, but behaviors like growling and lunging, uh, chewing things, they're all kind of stress responses. Um, obviously some things are okay to chew, but if you've kind of gone out the room and they've destroyed something, it's probably they're stressed and a little bit overwhelmed. Alfie would choose freeze. And by this it would be every walk, every little step we take, any noise, he'd freeze down on the ground. We'd just have to stand and wait. And for healthy, it was consistently freeze until there was a number of motorbikes went past. And if he wasn't on the lead, he'd have run for as long and as far and as quick as he could. Um, Jam Jarata also chooses flight. If she doesn't like something, she will run. Recently, we had something fell off a shelf. Uh, she was sat on Lameus. She freaked out. Claws everywhere in Lameus. She had to protect herself from the unknown but ultimately not aggressive attack. Um, yeah. So then understanding the how they might respond just thinking also that everybody's behaviors have evolved for a different world than we currently live in. So for us we get more information in a day than 500 years ago people get in a lifetime. So people it's just a lot. We all have to it's all different. We're having to adapt to an ever changing world. And for dogs are domesticated which means they need humans to survive. They most dogs would not survive out especially in this country out on their own being able to get food. Whereas that's the difference between cats and dogs. Cats are only semi-domemesticated. They can dam despite her auntie hunting collar will still get the occasional uh pigeon which seems to line up with when we go to the vets and they tell her she needs to go on a diet and we try and reduce the food. Um, but dogs have been engineered by humans to have certain traits for certain working practices. And probably only in like the last 50 years, those things have changed. But it means traits that were bred in for certain reasons are there and they can be quite annoying in the home. Uh, so colleies, they're bright, energetic, eager to please. They're desperate for you to tell them what to do next because that's what they're bred for. Uh, shepherds are loyal and independent, also known as stubborn. So teaching a a dog with shepherd uh characteristics in it can be quite hard of just why would I sit? Um and then terriers, that's what I've always grown up with. Terriers. It's what I'm used to. Uh they're energetic, they're feisty, they have a prey drive like Benji will chase the rat in the garden. He's never successfully got it. Uh they often dig uh because they're bred to go down in holes. Have a really high-pitched yappy bark so you can hear them from above ground when they're below ground. But these things are annoying in the house. And so it's just being aware of what these traits are and trying to think how to manage adapt our behaviors around them because of humans did this. They made these dogs these ways. We can't just suddenly expect all of these instincts to go away. Um and with aliens, you'd have something similar of just what environment did they evolve for? We can't force them to adapt to our environment if they're nocturnal, anything. We don't know. It's just being open, non-judgmental, and working and slowly adapting uh to meet them. You got to kind of meet closer to where they are or somewhere in between rather than just being like this is my house. This is how it is. So once you kind of understand all of this stuff about the what impacts behaviors and responses, it's all about building trust. So this is the gorgeous pen who is a dream in the house, but outside everything is over stimulation. He's they think a collie cross pointer. and he's been and he's been with Heland's for over four years being in and out of different fosterers. Bless him. But he is he's really gorgeous and he obviously trusts people. Uh this is I was walking him and he just he just loves a cuddle. Um but because of how he is out on walks, he's quite challenging to walk because of just everything's excitement. Uh so the way we go about uh building trust is creating a safe space. So for us, we've kind of don't know that much about fenu. I read a book. I found it interesting. Uh talking about energy flows and something about having a mountain behind you so you feel enclosed and being able to see the entrance and exits routes, which is kind of part of kind of just self-preservation of knowing where a predator could come from at any point. Um so thinking about this, when you go to a restaurant, you might choose a seat that's kind of nicely in a corner. You can see the door. you're not going to be by the toilets where people are walking past all the time because if you're in a safe secure space and so that's kind of giving the kind of the right funue of the setup for the dogs and then noise. So you've got if something's too noisy that can be a challenge but also if it's too quiet that can also be a challenge because then they can hear the bird tweeting outside somewhere because of dogs have so much better hearing than us. Aliens probably have better hearing than our sight. all of this stuff about how to try and limit the the distractions. So, we always find classic FM or a bit of Enya playing for the dogs is a a good shout. That's why Classic FM will always do uh uh they do a special radio show on bonfire night uh just for the animals. Uh then in terms of the safe space, it's about creating clear boundaries so they know what they can and can't do because it's it's not about being mean, it's about being clear. We can't expect them like they chew one thing that we don't care about and we laugh and think, "Oh, that's cute. That's funny." But then maybe that was like a a smelly slipper, but then they get a prized trainer and then you tell them off. That's not fair. So, it's all about being consistent so they know what they can and can't do. And setting them up so that it will be right as well for the forever home that they get. So, this is why with fostering dogs often we don't let them on the sofa because they may go to a home where they're not allowed on the sofa. Um and so trying to don't know why people do we have dogs everywhere but yeah just about giving them the best chance of success so they know what they can do and then it's about giving them a sense of control. So giving them a part of that they have control of that you don't enter that they can observe from. So with the puppies they had a crate set up under the kitchen table. It was surrounded by all sides so they felt safe. We wouldn't go to it but they would come to us and they gradually built up over time. They then did make it to the sofa and because of it was the only way for us to be able to touch them, we let them on the sofa and they gradually went from one end to actually uh being closer to us and touching. Um so just thinking about for alien contact, what would that safe space be? It's probably not going to be a brightly lit science lab. That's not anywhere anybody wants to go to relax in. So crates are a safe space for dogs. I know not some people think crates are mean, but our experience with the dogs is it gives them their own space that they feel secure in. They know what's there. They know it's it's theirs. So, here we've got in the top left uh that's Marvin who had just arrived off transport straight away chose to go in this crate. Jamja sometimes likes to take Benji's crate. Maybe it's a power play. Sometimes she gets zooies when she goes in there. One time she got a bit overexited and had a poo. Uh, Penn gets really over excited and the crate is a good space for him to go to calm down. So, he's run around, you can put him in the crate, he's going to calm down, get a good nap, everything's better. Uh, with Benji, he goes in the crate when there's a noise that he doesn't like. So, if it's a safe space for him, so the fireworks, if it's too windy, anything that he's getting grumpy about, he can go in the crate, calm down, and rest. Um, the puppies chose to go that in the bottom left, that's Percy and Alfie. They went in, they just chose to go in Benji's crate. The middle picture is Benji had hurt his foot and so we needed him to be in the crate to be able to rec rest and recover and then the puppies could lay by him and to be there. And you can see Alfie found another use for the crate of making it closer to the sofa and being by us. Um, but it's also really important for the safety of the pets, uh, both other pets in the house. So, for example, we always make sure that the dogs are in the crate when jam jar is going past when we don't know what they're like. Um, when you leave the house, keeping them in a crate, it means they're going to be safe and protected from anything they might destroy. It's a really good step if there's a dog with separation anxiety. You put them in the crate. They get used to being in the crate. You go out of the room for a few minutes and you gradually build up so that they're then confident that they know you will always come back to them. They're not going to get lo left and be destructive in that time. Also, some of the maturers. Uh, Olaf, if he yawned, your foot would be in his mouth. He just had a thing about everything got chewed. Uh, and Benji's bed is also a safe space for all of the foster dogs and jam jar that we've had. And it seems to be a versatile size that fits fits all. Um, it is also in that kind of corner placement. Good fenue whilst they can also see us. Then building on from the giving them safe space to ex um build their trust. Um it's about expanding their horizons. So we've got positive reinforcement. You can train a dog either positively or negatively, but it's the positive that will build trust rather than you see some incredibly well- behaved dogs, but that's fe that can be fear rather than uh trust. And don't we all want to have the trust and the friendship? So we use happy voices, happy tones, cuz that's where there's a a language barrier. You can get a lot by the tone. Um, we use lots of rewards, treats, toys, bad behaviors. We try and ignore them where possible if it's something minor, but if it's something you don't want them doing doing, just a quick huh and that kind of they're like, "Oo, I don't like that." And they won't do it again. And that's and it's just being consistent. Um, but ultimately focusing on the good. Um, then gradually introducing new experiences. So, like I said, it was a month before we could touch the puppies. We thought once we could touch them, we could get a harness on them and take them for a walk instantly. That was a an error on our part. And uh actually Al Alfie did release Percy from the the new harness that had just been attached to him. Um but that was in the house. Um cuz of Alfie would freeze. So this is Alfie's very regular on a walk, just lay down, hide in a bush for a little bit and then keep going. So that's what we did. We just gradually introduced did the same walk over and over again. when he freeze, we just wait and then go on again. And so that's why we did a lot about building routines. So doing the same walk, he knew what to expect. He would get really excited at the end of our street because of the crossing. Um when the crossing light went, it meant he'd be in the woods and it's much less scary for him in the woods than where the roads and the noise and the motorbikes are. And over time, he would freeze much less and less. And now he can be with his home. He can be let off lead and he's very happy. Um, and then we introduced new places. So, our favorite place for going is the pub because we've got a couple of pubs that are really dog friendly and people there know to kind of be gentle with the dogs, let them sniff them and build up that confidence. And with Benji, uh, Benji helps kind of Benji will take a treat off somebody and then uh, the foster dog will realize, okay, that's okay. Build up the experiences. And it's all just gradually doing it their pace, building the experiences. So in summary, the the steps to successful alien contact. So first off is focused on building trust by having the right support team. Uh so who would be that emotional support dog in the setting? Who could be maybe it is an emotional support dog, but who would be that friendly, calming um face for the dog, for dog, alien, cat, you name it. Secondly, be curious about their behaviors. Don't observe them before making any actions and judging. And the golden rule of communication is not um is not treating people how you would like to be treated, but how they would like to be treated because everybody's different on what they like. Um some people like touch, some people don't. Everyone's different. Uh thirdly, uh provide a safe space. So give them that safe space, respect their boundaries, and enable them to build their confidence that way. and finally gradually introduce their experiences giving lots and lots of rewards. So, I'm just going to finish with where are they now? So, we've been lucky though all of the dogs we've fostered have gone to really lovely homes. That's not always the case. Sometimes dogs do get returned where it's not been a good match. Um, this is why it's important to have that kind of good profile. The process of them getting adopted is uh the charity screens whoever's interested uh does a video check of their house. Olaf's family did get told they had to do a big declutter before uh he could be adopted there partly because of his destruction. Um and then the family come and uh visit us and see how they get on, if they have another dog, how that dog gets on uh with the foster pet dog. Um and yeah, we've been lucky so far. Everybody's there. But that's also where we would then assess if we didn't have any if we had some bad feelings about it, we would let the charity know and they would take that into mind. So Percy, we had him for what seemed at the after a while only a short 2 and a half months. Um, and he moved to a lovely home in Elely and he has a bed in every room including the bathroom. All of the dogs seem to go on to better living circumstances than uh bigger houses than we have. Then you've got Alfie. So after 5 and a half months, he went to a family in St. Alburn's and he's got a big sister, Lola, who also came from Heathlland's. Uh, so she's actually 12, but plays with him like a puppy and gives that gives him all that extra support and building his uh, confidence. And um, you'll be pleased to know Alfie successfully got rid of their rule of no dogs on the sofa. Um, and this summer he's moving into a fancy barn conversion with 2 acres of land. So very good for Alfie. Um, whereas Penn unfortunately is still looking for his forever home. um that he's with a very loving foster who I do wonder if they may adopt because of uh he's been with this foster now for a few months and we've we've done quite a lot of holiday cover for him. Um and he's finally got the mastiff brother to start playing with him and he's having a great time. So, thank you for listening. If you are interested in animal fostering or adoption, uh look at any local animal charities near you. Um they're always looking for good homes. Sometimes they're also looking for people to do dog walking during the day if you want more kind of animal experiences but have limitations. And if you have any questions or would you like to see more pictures or show me pictures of your pets, um, I'll be in the Q&A tent afterwards. Thank you very much.