The End of Oak Street - Funny Recap

Mr. Platt seems to have it all. The great job, the lovely kids, the beautiful wife, a nice house in an even nicer neighborhood. You really can't complain if you're old Mr. Platt. That is unless you've been lying about your job for the last few weeks. Your wife wants to leave you because you're a pathetic loser and your son is a little [ __ ] who sucks at archery. Then you have all sorts of reasons to complain. Oh, also on top of that, there are dinosaurs trying to kill you. And our Greg Platt is just one of the family of four we're going to keep an eye on in this PG13 hour and 40 minute flick called The End of Oak Street. Now, I reviewed this a few days back. I said it was fine enough. Uh I have a lot of problems with the movie, which I'm going to go into today in a very much spoiler recap of the film. It's called a recap, not necessarily because the movie is. I actually enjoyed it enough and I could rewatch it. It's more of a crutch that I can use because I don't look anything up when I'm going through this movie from beginning to end. I'm going off of memory. And as Father Time casts his wicked spell on me, my brain is turning into mush, which makes the recap even more fun because it's not always right. But let's get into it to the best of my ability. We're going back to the end of Oak Street. We open on you hitting subscribe to Adam Do's Movies if you haven't already. And then we open on a sack race by our family of four. They're hopping and laughing and having a gay old time. That means fun, not something else. Although the daughter's gay, I'm pretty sure. Not that it matters. That's fine. It's her prerogative. Bobby Brown. This takes place in the 80s, though, so she's probably going to keep a lid on things. People weren't as inclusive as they are today. Although my uncle has some stories that he's all too open to share with me, but that's a story for another day. It's a story for another day. Anyway, the family's having a good time. It's a It's a neighborhood barbecue. Who doesn't have a good time at those? The son Brian is getting into high jinks with his friend. The daughter Audrey is complaining about how she can't go to Cornell. And Greg and Denise are putting on smiles, but secretly there's some trouble brewing with this relationship. and they're going to talk about they're going to hash it out in a little bit when Greg says he's got to split and do some work for the company that he's no longer at because he was actually fired a few weeks back and to make ends meet, he's been delivering Zaz to the neighborhood. Zaz is a fancy word for pizzas. You learn things on this channel. Denise is unaware of the financial situation they find themselves in. He's keeping that secret. She is however looking to leave her stamp on this planet by writing her own novel. And they say you should write about what you know. And she knows that her husband sucks and she wants to leave him. And so that's what the story's about. She's going to get a proof read by the old nice lady down the street while Greg pops on that pizza topper and starts rolling around the neighborhood. I don't know how old Brian is. He strikes me as a kid around 14 or 15 years old. His big deal is he's got a couple buddies he's ping around with. He's got his bow and arrow that he doesn't know how to use. So, I don't really understand why he carries it around. He's completely incompetent. Looks like a dumbass with it. He loves his dog. Starbucks. Holy [ __ ] I mentioned this in the regular review, but you would get drunk off your ass if you played a drinking game and took a shot every time they say Starbucks. You're gone. You are You are dead to rights 10 minutes in. Brian also has his eyes set on the cute girl who just moved in down the street. Sure. Can't wait to see where that goes. Also, there's a bully going after Brian because Brian broke the bully's brother's arm off camera. This happened before the movie started. Sure can't wait to see where that story line goes. I thought to myself, there's a lot of [ __ ] being packed into the first 15 [laughter] minutes of this movie. You have the relationship issues. You got this very important novel that Anne Hathaway is writing. You have the sister who wants to get into college and she secretly wants to make out with other girls. You have a son who's really into a new girl, desperately needs to take an archery class, and may or may not get his ass kicked before this film winds down. That's a lot to go over. And then I read that the original cut of this flick was over 3 hours long and they had to do re-shoots and cut this thing back. And now it starts to make sense why everything seems so rushed or doesn't really come together well at the end. On the other hand, it has dinosaurs. So, I'm willing to forgive most of the stuff I'm complaining about. After that nice little intro, some oddities start to sprout up in the neighborhood in the form of some very tropical, very bizarrel looking plants. Hathaway's character, Denise, sees one in the back of the old lady's house. Old lady takes her out there, says, "I don't I don't know where this came from. It sprouted up overnight." At which point Denise offers to dig it out of the ground. Why the Who who [ __ ] Why would you do that? This is a very abstract looking plant. It's got like a like a pineapple thing on top and [ __ ] I don't know why you would remove that without getting someone over there that could maybe tell you what it was. You know, maybe there's some money to be made. I'm I'm always thinking ahead, you know. But now she digs that [ __ ] out of the ground, throws it, I suppose, in the trash can and then gets curious about it. goes over to the library where she's going to do some research and ask the librarian who naturally recognizes a photo in a book of that specific plant and tells her it is incredibly old. Cuz as we all know, librarians know everything about everything. Hey Denise, you know what would have been easier than rumaging through the library looking for that plant? Bringing the plant to an expert who could tell you exactly what it is. They probably have some of those at Cornell where your daughter wanted to attend, you cheapkate. So, the case of the mystery plant is solved. It's old. How's that going to tie into the rest of the narrative? Well, simple. It turns out what's been happening is black hole pockets have been opening up and in their wake have come things from the past. And soon the family's going to realize this isn't a one-way black hole. Not only is it going to pull things in from the past, it's also capable of samurai jacking their ass and it's going to pull this whole neighborhood into the Mesazoic era. Wonder what the air quality was like 65 million years ago. Turns out it's exactly the same cuz the family's none the wiser when this takes place. All that they know is there's a freak thunderstorm, a blinding white flashing light, and they are there with the dinosaurs. Now, during this encounter, Starbucks, the family dog, was tied up out back. Why did they not bring the dog in? Unclear. The mom seems to kind of hate his ass. Uh, like the son brings it to the block party earlier, and Haway over here is like, "What are you doing, dumbass? This dog's out of control. Bring him back to the house." And little Brian's like, "Mama, he's going to be fine. Mama's not going to cause any trouble. Just let him stay." He's perpetually getting younger as I speak. So, they left the dog outside. And oh, shocking to no one, he gets off of his leash. Unfortunately, this is going to be a subplot that rears its ugly barking head throughout the rest of the entire film. Brian Platt won't shut the [ __ ] up about this dog. Where's Starbucks? I hope Starbucks's okay. Somewhere [singing] out there, I'll see my Starbucks again. That's from like an American tale, I [laughter] think. Subscribe. So, the next morning, the family wakes up to the crow of the raptor. [screaming] Okay, that didn't happen, but that'd be funny if there was like a little compy on the rooftop. Anyway, speaking of birds, Brian's running around like a chicken with his head cut off looking for his damn dog. Where is Starbucks? I named him after the character from Battlestar Galactica. And yes, it's from Battlestar Galactica. There's a poster. Some people were telling me tears in their eyes. They would come up to me and say, "Sir Adam, it's it's actually from Moby Dick." Uh, I hate to be a Moby Dick, but it's not in this instance. Now, you could say the character in BSG was named after the character from Moby Dick, but I don't know because I'm an uncultured ass. But I do know this. I wanted that dog dead than the deadest animal that ever died because I had already had it with this kid yelling his name out. Greg Platt, concerned his son's never going to shut up about this, heads outside to see what's what. It is eerily quiet outside as he roams around some of the neighborhood houses trying to find that little rascal that got out during the storm. Something he often does apparently. So why didn't they bring HIM IN THE HOUSE? ANYWAY, HE FINDS MORE THAN HE'S bargaining for as a silhouette of a giant raptor bird thing. It's not a raptor. I don't know what the hell it is. Like an ostrich dinosaur, pops its head up and Greg wisely does not stick around to see what this thing looks like. Just the shadow is enough. He takes off running. [laughter] He looks over the fence line as shit's flying up like it's in a Looney Tunes show. prank. Greg never thinks to maybe veer off to the right. He's just going to stay in a straight line with this creature the whole time. Like, h, if only there was another DIRECTION I COULD GO. I THINK HE DOES eventually turn. And that's when the creature puts its claws on the fence and takes to the air. Greg catches up with his wife Denise on the main road. They look back and they see this monster of a beast rushing after them. So, on foot, they're in a full-blown sprint. Then, an old lady comes out OF HER HOUSE. WHAT'S ALL THIS racket going on? Unless there's a dinosaur chasing you, there is no excuse for you to BE MAKING THIS MUCH. OH MY GOSH. SHE GETS TAKEN OUT BY THE THING, but uh-oh, there's like three more coming after the plats. They rush into the house, slam the door, and now both of them are pushing their body weight on this son of a [ __ ] hoping the door holds while three of these huge dinosaurs are crashing at the thing. It's a good thing Greg and Denise don't skip leg day because they are holding that door strong. As long as these two stay together, they surely will keep Oh, Denise is leaving. She's going over to the kids. Kids, come here. Give me a hug. Why the [ __ ] did you leave the husband to the door unattended? I don't understand. They eventually give up and leave. That was a close one. Sure glad that door was made out of titanium or something. What the [ __ ] How could they not break through this thing? All right, so things have taken a turn in the family. They form a plan as a family unit now that they know they've been taken to the land before time or some crap. They're going to go into the basement. They board up all the windows. They get all the necessary supplies. They open the door and they see that the whole thing is flooded. What makes matters worse, there was a typewriter down the stairs and the first draft of Denise's beautiful book. I know most people were invested in the whole dinosaurs taking over the neighborhood situation, but I was very much concerned about how that novel was going to get finished. And so was she. I mean, without the words on paper, what else in her life is so amusing that she could possibly pull from in the future if she survives this checks notes dinosaur attack? Yeah, truly. She's going to be suffering from some writer's block. Now, my family's not perfect. I actually have a wife and two kids as well. Uh, but we've been married a long time. We have a very solid concrete foundation, and if something ever goes south with my job, I'm I'm happy to know that I can also deliver pizzas, and that would definitely make up for the mortgage and all the other expenses, much like Greg. But that being said, even if we did have some marital disputes, even if there were secrets to unearth, I don't think a dinosaur invasion would be the time I would bring this [ __ ] up or even think about it for half a second. But Denise is going to be grilling her husband 247. She's truly a woman of her time as she's going to be handling the gun. She's going to be driving the vehicles. Uh this is a much different ' 80s from what I experienced. And you know what? Come to think of it, I think I would label this character as a good old-fashioned STRONG [screaming and groaning] female lead. And for a knockoff Stephen Spielberg film set in 1982, quite frankly, it's about time. She does eventually get the truth out of him that he got laid off a couple weeks back. He's been doing the pizza delivery thing to make ends meet. And man, I feel bad for Greg because if he survives the dinosaur attacks, he's a dead man. Now, as fun as the first act is building all this stuff up, watching it all fall down as the the dinosaurs start to run a muck, we really kind of lose sight of the plot here when they have to come up with a way to get the family back out of the house. Now, one of the first things that came to my mind was that the dinosaurs actually break through the house, forcing them to leave. Another possible situation would be one of the douchy neighbors runs over, breaks a window, gets inside the house, which also forces the family out. These examples, in my humblest of opinion, keep in mind there's many different ways to to file a fish, would be acceptable excuses to get this family away from their safe haven and have to deal with the elements outside. That's not what the script goes for. Instead, our director opts for good old-fashioned stupidity. As in the middle of the night, Brian, who just got done with another session of beating himself off, looks out the window to see his best friend, STARBUCKS. THAT'S RIGHT. Starbucks back, baby. Here's another one. And another one. Starbucks. Bucky Bster, what the [ __ ] are you doing? And Starbucks takes off like a dog out of hell because another creature's chasing after him. Thinking slow, Brian decides in his infinite WISDOM TO NOT TELL anyone in his family, not think about it for half a second, hop out the window, bow and arrow in hand, and go after the [ __ ] in the DARK ALONE WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE WHILE THERE ARE dinosaurs everywhere. This is the dumbest [ __ ] thing I've ever seen. And I watched all three Strangers movies. Adding to the dumb, the sister notices her brother leaves, also doesn't tell the others and goes after him. [groaning and screaming] There are forgivable dumb choices that you can look past because the movie is working so well. And then there is the choice in this movie that doesn't just dictate the next five or 10 minutes of the flick. No, no, no. This dictates the entire rest of the film because now the family's out of the house looking for their dumbass son or brother who's looking for his dumbass dog. I can shut my brain off, but I have to have a brain left to shut off. And the choice to do this is so beyond idiotic. There's no world. There's no possibility I can conceive using Doctor Strange's stone where this would happen. But it happened, Captain. And now we're going to have to deal with the consequences. And this is where the dumb really starts to stack up because while Brian never finds the dog, he does end up finding trouble as the bully who wanted to kick his ass earlier is just hiding around the corner of the house. How long's he been there? Did he hear him coming? Did he see him through a window? Unclear. For all I know, he's just been out there with his dick in his hand, hoping that the neighbor down the block came around the corner. And it's his lucky day because there he is. Try to archer your way out of this one, Brian. You piece of [ __ ] Nope. The kid decks him to the ground. Starts beating him until his prepubescent brother with a broken arm COMES RUNNING OVER. OW! STANNIFER! NO! STANNIFER! Brian getting pummeled on the ground. Oh, gay name. Stannifer stops. Watch. [panting] Oh, yeah. The dinosaurs. Yeah, you're right. This, in the grand scheme of things, seems oddly stupid. His name is not Stannifer, but I don't I don't know what it is, so just roll with me. Brian gets up to his feet, wipes the blood from his nose, acknowledges it, and then he just goes on his merry way like nothing ever happened. Ain't no thing. Just another day at the races here in dinosaur land. I believe it's at this point where he meets up with his sister and they also meet up with the new girl who is also prancing around the neighborhood. All of these idiots just walk down the main street. Might as well put on a sign that says, "Eat me and ring a bell. Dinner's here. Ding ding ding. While this is happening, the parents realize their kids are gone. They jump into the car. Denise naturally drives as the man of the house in the 80s. They cruise the strip looking for some tail. And I don't mean a hot chick. I mean dinosaur tail cuz they're they're very scary and dangerous. What they end up running into are a giant set of prehistoric snapping turtles. So they slowly edge around them only to get peekabooed by a Spinosaurus. [screaming] No, no, NO, NO, NO, NO. HAWAY PUTS IT IN REVERSE. Tire spinning out in the grass and this dinosaur is going to kick their ass. He smashes the side of the driver's seat. Car crashes through a house. Hope he had stayed farm. [laughter] [gasps] pay me for that. They climb out the passenger side window. Remember where we parked? The Spinosaurus kind of creeps around looking for him. I don't remember where this story goes. At one point, I'm not exactly sure where in the movie, but it is important. Denise and Greg come upon a house where there is one of these little black holes. And what they see inside of it is their neighborhood fully intact, perfect, like nothing had happened. So, they know there's a way to get out of here. But before they can even think whether or not to go through it, it's gone just like that. I think I went to the bathroom after this scene cuz they meet up with the others, the the two kids and the girlfriend. Not the girlfriend, but the, you know, the new love interest. The parents are like, "Oh my god, kids. Brian, we were so worried about you." Brian returns the hug. "Where's Starbucks? Did you find Starbucks?" I heard this little [ __ ] ask about that dog so many times, I even started looking for him while I was in the bathroom. Starbucks, you in here, bud? Looking under the stalls. Starbucks, you you in there? Is that you? Oh my god. Uh, you might want to you might want to wipe a little bit more, sir. That's That's looking grizzly. Yes. You recognize the voice? It's Adam from Adam does Movies, right? Subscribe. Oh, you are great. Yeah, you you do seem like the type of fan that would watch me. Back in the theater, there's a giant T-Rex now running down the street. I was told in the comments that it's not a T-Rex. It's an Allosaurus or an Allosaurus or a Spaghetti or who gives a fuckosaurus. I'm calling it a T-Rex, you nerds. T-Rex. He starts going after the family. Greg Platt doing his best Peter Gabriel impression starts swinging around that sledgehammer. A sledgehammer. And at one point, he clips the [ __ ] right in the side of the face. Welcome to Earth. The fuckosaurus smashes into the ground. Greg Platt tips the hat to the wife and does his celebratory dance. Doing the bull dance. Feeling the flow. Working it. WORKING. WHAT THE [ __ ] [screaming] THE DINOSAUR PICKS HIM up off the ground and clamps down on Greg's leg. Slicing that thing off completely. Now he's on the ground. the stump of a man. Leg completely ghost. The kids and the wife are flabbergasted. Oh my god, [laughter] Greg. Greg looks over at his wife. Looks like we won't have to FILE THOSE DIVORCE PAPERS. AFTER ALL, [screaming and groaning] Denise stands there dumbfounded. What am I possibly going to write about if I make it out of this? The kids also crying. There's no way I'm GOING TO GET INTO CORNELL NOW. [laughter] Now we have one last person TO HELP LOOK FOR STARBUCKS. The family's at a loss. They slowly make their way back to the house, their only place of sanctuary left. Everyone grieavves separately in different rooms, and this is the perfect opportunity for a giant dildo snake to slither out of a kiddie pool and into our hearts. This massive white, veiny, throbbing, slippery some [ __ ] goes right through a window. I don't How much does this guy weigh? He was able to go into a kitty pool at one point. Can he suck up into like a tiny little thing? Anyway, he goes into the house. He's just kind of doing his thing. Goes up the stairs. Hathaways in the kitchen. Pays him no mind. Nobody has peripheral vision in this movie, by the way. If something's out of the corner of my eye, I notice. Especially something that's the size of the hallway. And then I think it does a Uturn and goes back down around the corner into the kitchen where it's about to eat Anne Hathaway's ass. Now, this is the only way I can achieve climax. And that's when he feels the wrath of an arrow. That's right. Brian finally got a shot off. He used that bow and arrow [ __ ] right into the skin, causing the snake to recoil, go all the way up the stairs and start smashing into the door that Brian's hiding behind. The doors of this house are built LIKE FORT KNOX. NO ONE'S getting through these things. While the snake is doing this, Hathaway grabs a freaking knife and she's stabbing the [ __ ] out of it. going all the way up and down its body. All I was thinking was earlier little Tiny Tim with the bow and arrow shot it one time, one little penetration, and that was enough to piss it off. Penetration, short for penetration. Now Haway is freaking knifing the [ __ ] out of this thing. And he's not even paying attention at first. Granted, he's got some adrenaline. Sure, he's pissed off, but still, if I'm getting stabbed up and down my thigh meat, I think I'm going to find out what's what. Eventually, the snake's going to go, I This was just a huge mistake all around, and he is going to get out of dodge. He leaves the house. This is my favorite scene of the movie. Not Not the the T-Rex guy, not the Spinosaurus, not uh the little raptor bird things running around. The snake stuff was great. Doesn't last too long, but it's a cool little tense moment in a otherwise not very tense movie. We are now at the crescendo of the film. They are going to look out and they're going to see one of those little black hole things throbbing again. Another black hole is there for the taking. And so they make a beline to the top of this thing, climb up to the rooftop where they have to take a leap of faith into the portal. It's not a very far jump. It's just like a little little skip. But they are going to take an eternity to make the jump at all because it goes and it sits there for like, you know, five or six seconds and then goes away and opens up again. Five or six seconds, goes away. They're attempting to jump, but freezing up like a six-year-old at the top of a high dive. Just jump already. Making matters worse, there are pterodons or pterodactyls or or fuckals. WHO CARES? FLYING AROUND. BRIAN FINALLY deciding to piss. Instead of getting off the pot, he jumps. The portal disappears and he hits the ground like a [ __ ] Now the rest of them have to run back down and get him. Instead of having some of the people jump into the portal, they're all going down after him. Okay, whatever. So, the three of them go back downstairs. They meet up with the little turd, but it's too late. There are dinosaurs there now to eat them. I cannot for the life of me remember what the dinosaurs are, but I do know this. Right before the creatures pounce, STARBUCKS saves the day. The dog has survived and he's back, baby. Starbucks jumps in, fends off the creatures. The family runs back inside where they're going to run into the librarian who helps them get away from some other dinosaurs with a shotgun. The librarian before making the shot says, "I HOPE YOU HAVE TIME TO FINISH YOUR NOVEL. I figured out what that plant was." Rose bud. After a gripping escape, they get back to the rooftops again. And this time they all jump and get through. The new girl jumps first, not putting up with this [ __ ] any longer. Then the rest of the family hops in together, landing in a pool in the backyard of a lady's house. OH, HELL NO. I don't got some white people jumping into my pool. I don't think she played the race card, but she was thinking it. This woman was also white. Plot twist. She wasn't. The Plats have made it back to their neighborhood and this is a whole back to the future situation because they have like 11 minutes or something like that before this whole black hole encounter is going to take place. So, the neighborhood is intact right now. They head to a pay phone where the wife has a genius idea to order a pizza because she knows the husband's out on a route right now and he'll deliver it to them cuz he's one of the best pizza delivery guys in the business. I mean, you want to talk about some great service. Holy crap. I don't think I can order a pizza and get it in less than 35 minutes at this point. This guy's delivering pizzas with like minutes to spare still. Does he have the pies in his car, hot and fresh, ready to go? I guess so, because the dad drives down the road and the family in tears reunite and it feels so good. Greg, confused because none of this has happened yet, is like, "What? How are you guys here? Who's back at the house then? Cuz how are you TWO PLACES AT ONCE? And Denise in her head goes, "Ah, we'll fill you in later, but that family is going to have a miserable experience pretty soon." Fast forward one year into the future. Beep. And here we are in a backyard barbecue. Greg is very much alive. We see the neighbors are over with the girl. She She made it, too. Audreyy's now rocking a fresh Cornell fit. And the moment I have been waiting for has finally come. So have I again because Anne Hathaway has finished her novel and IT'S PERFECT. It's a critically acclaimed story about the events that they went through one year Richard prior. Can you imagine such a scenario? I didn't even think about I didn't even think while I was watching this, man, I wonder if she's going to write about the events of what happened with the dinosaurs when she survives. It's brilliant. And that's the end of Oak Street. I hope I didn't leave anything out. I can't imagine I did. I feel like I talked at Adnausium for a million years. But that's exactly how it played out. I left no stone unturned. I got nothing wrong at all, as I never do. And I want to hear from you now. Let me know in the comments how perfect this was. If you enjoyed the recap, if you loved it, feel free to hype this video, subscribe to the show. It's free of charge, cost you nothing, and that way you can see more of me in the future, and I would appreciate it. All right, that's all I got for you. Take care. I ALMOST FORGOT. Starbucks survive, TOO. WE GOT STARBUCKS, BABY. Y'all going to make me lose my mind. Up in here. Up in here. All right, now I'm done. Thanks again for watching the video. If you didn't know, I'm a oneman operation here at Adam does Movies. I also have a full-time job. I got a family to take care of. And I would absolutely love if you supported me on patreon.com/adamdosmov like these beautiful people did here. These are the silver and gold members. There's also a bronze membership starting at $1, plus access to over 300 videos from the Atom vault at any support level. I would really appreciate it. It's the best way to support the show. Hope to see you there.