"The Big Sick" | Movie Review + Life Lessons | Life Lessons in Film

what's your stance what's my stance on 9/11 oh um anti there was a tragedy I mean we lost 19 of our best guys huh okay would you give me a what you you a teast check haven't eat anything did you br your to see we need to get you a new hat this is no this has gotten so Scraggy scragg character some things is that what you'd say about people just because they've been through things you have to discard them I treat my hats like I treat people oh yeah reverence welcome back to life lessons and film today we're going to be making sense of life through the big sick it follows Camille as he pursues his dream of being a standup comedian one day he meets a college student Emily they start a relationship unbeknownst to camil's family eventually it comes out Emily yes is not of Pakistani Heritage she is Unknown Origin Unknown Origin but she looks like she's of European descent AKA white Emily especially shows a reluctance she doesn't want to date she says he's busy with school but cam he actually seems like he wants a relationship which is interesting because he's Pakistani and in the family that he comes from arranged marriage is the expectation right your parents broke her a marriage for you basically there's no dating then ultimately Camille gets the relationship to happen they start dating seriously one day she finds out that he has all these pictures of women in his cigar box the various women that his mother has presented him with are you judging Pakistan's Next Top Model or something seriously who are these women okay um you know how we have arranged marriage in my culture he are those women they get into a fight they break up because then she feels he's been lying to her the fact that he's been getting set up with all these women shortly after Mill finds out that Emily has to go in to the hospital they put her into an induced coma so that they can figure out what's wrong a friend of Emily calls Camille asking if he can look after her because no one else can he does eventually Emily's parents show up it's awkward at first but they actually start to get to know each other they form a bond he comes to terms with the reality of how he feels and how you know what I actually want to fight for this relationship but all of this is all one-sided it's not happening with Emily because Emily is in a coma so when she wakes up they're still broken up and things are still as they were he tries to win her back when she gets out of the coma she still isn't IND do it but when he takes a chance to move to New York with friends to pursue standup she sees the standup routine that he did right after she came back from the coma and he told the whole story basically and he gets very emotional and explains how much he cares and loves for her so she gets to understand how he feels towards her at the end she uh gives him another shot characters characters got camil based on Camille nanani Nan johanni based on his life and then Emily we have Emily and then family his brother his sister-in-law and his parents and then Em's parents yeah is a aspiring standup comic he comes from one of those split culture situations which I think inspires a lot of people to pursue things like comedy because a lot of times that's the way you survive growing up because you're just different from the get-go from a lot of people around you and comedy is a good coping mechanism good way of surviving people like you more maybe if you can make them laugh that they won't you know be as hard on you or bully you as much he's a very likable guy very funny and smart nice kind but despite the fact that he's all these nice things I think he still messes up though yes I think it's so dodgy he knew going into the relationship that he pursued MH because Emily said that you know I'm not interested he could have said okay you know what it's probably a good thing too because I'm not going to get this girl into a relationship knowing full well that my parents would not ever accept her or this relationship but he pursues it and I think that was so unfair it's fair that sometimes you know you can have casual relationship ship but that relationship was certainly not casual got to a point where Emily is wanting him to meet his family he's dodging and he's dodging and you can see as she also talks about you know I was divorced I was pretty unhappy in my first marriage and I drank a lot and uh one way to cover drinking a lot is to just like know a lot about wine wait I'm sorry what did you just say that knowing a lot about wine sort of covers for drinking a lot no I mean the huge piece of information that you're trying to just blow right past yeah yeah I was was married you were married I was I was married do you want to talk about something else or at this point I told that's true yeah at this point this is no longer just a casual relationship you guys are thick in the relationship if you are going to get into a serious relationship with someone tell them the background tell them the mess that you're going to get them into because that is you that's my gripe yeah it's a fair grip that's a quam that's a quam and a half for sure it's a tricky thing I think probably a lot of people run into that where they know so many people from the beginning will be like well wait whoa wait like now your family has to completely accept you you know they're going to be different than why we even starting to date they want to be able to try and date and maybe hope that once it it's really working then I I don't know but it's a tricky spot It's Tricky for him it's a tricky spot for him 100% but it's still not right it's not fair to say well I don't want to tell you because if I tell you you might end this relationship if I want to end the relationship based on what you tell me let me end it he's lying he's being dishonest the whole time and it doesn't make him a bad person I totally also sympathize with the fact of he was scared of losing this woman that he loves and I think he didn't want to tell her because as it turns out Emily is like well I don't want to be in a relationship with you if your family won't accept the relationship so that's also something that he's like I don't want to lose this thing that I love and I want to enjoy it I get that too it's tough because I think where he's split is that he is very close to this family but culturally it definitely seems like he's very American he's into all these obscure movies horror movies and and he just all his reference points are very American Comedy and film and music and all this stuff so him and Emily click they have the same cultural experiences and that's the challenge of being an immigrant isn't it Pakistan is inside the house very finite area but America is huge you go out there you go to school you meet friends you go to work it's not Pakistan whatsoever and so that means like you're getting socialized more in a western way than in a in a Pakistani kind of way it was not the right thing to do but but I get where he was coming from that's a really tough tough thing yeah he just couldn't relate to any of the people he was getting set up with and so he's feeling lonely or desperate or you want to date someone or he fell in love and he didn't want it to end so he got scared and you and then you get dishonest to keep it going yeah yeah you ducking my parents oh my God the two-day rule seriously red flag after Red Flag you're such a liar you lied to me you lied to your parents and those are just the people you like is there someone that you're not lying to I'd love to meet them because then I could tell them what a liar you are Emily I really understand her Devastation I think that she was definitely treated unfairly but Emily has freedoms that c doesn't have I don't know if it's fair to say I would have liked for her to have maybe like an extra scene where they talk things out and she says you know what I understand why you kept things from me like this is where I come from my parents are super accepting they don't care who I date but these pictures that you have really are reflective of the fact that you totally live a different life and can't even imagine the kind of expectations that you have over you and I think that's something when you're in an interracial relationship those are things that I think you need to accommodate those kinds of like understanding of each other which I don't necessarily think I saw but I understand why because she was really heartbroken she asks him do you see a future at all where we end up together and he says no devastating can you imagine a world in which we end up together I don't know so I I totally get where she's coming from but in general I think like she's just a sweet person you know she's funny she's still hopeful outside of having had a divorce that's probably why she didn't want to date but at the same time still a hopeful person and yeah optimistic and willing to try stuff so you know I'm sure that she does become a more understanding person later on but at first if she doesn't really have yeah that experience and context of about really like not at all no chance that is kind of a hard thing to understand if you don't really come from a family where it's like yeah you are only marrying a certain type of person that's it that's fair yeah that uh she acted the way she did I think I was so worried we saw on the news that a Train derailed and we thought that you were on the train and you had died nobody died on that train ma but did they look under the Train's mother's mother yes I think especially in the end of the movie they show that she is a a loving good person and in her way I think she's is trying to do the best she knows how to for her kids that's how it's been done and that's just the way she knows how to help her sons which is like life is going to be easier if you have a wife so I'm going to be hustling out here getting people to come over and let's make something happen outside of having a wife having a wife within our culture you know it's a collectivist culture that they're coming from they talk about this guy their cousin your cousin is staying with that white woman no one is going to visit that baby and that baby mark my words will grow up without a family it's like he's dead a w just very sad when you hear that you understand that it's not just no one talks to it's not just yeah no one talks to him it's not just me Camille it's not me your mother who's going to be upset if you don't end up with you're literally going to be ostracized from our community and I don't want that from you I think a lot of times when you're looking at these kinds of situations when parents are trying to broke or an arrange marriage you're thinking why are they forcing this on this poor kid but it's like are these parents just heartless like no think about the greater context of yes it'll F them negatively and you can see that as selfish but they also know that their kid will be ozed and that means that their kids's going to struggle a lot more too it's just going to be harder for everyone even people that that don't that don't get wrapped up in the caring about oh my reputation or what will people think even people that don't care about that still know it's going to be harder for the kids sometimes they'll encourage the kids not to go outside the culture just for the ramifications of you're going to lose your community and that's a huge thing I think that's where Camille's mom is coming from and she's just scared for her kid I've decided won't let you kick me out of the family since I a member of the family it would stand a reason that I would get a vote and whether or not I get kicked out and that vote would have to be unanimous standard parliamentary procedure so all those in favor of not kicking Kel out of the family raise your hand great motion to kick Kamal out of the family denied so you guys can just talk to me Camille was really great about how I'm not going to lose my family yeah I'm still going to f you guys and then in their way they show okay let's fight for you too yeah she still is not talking to him but when he's moving to New York he makes his favorite dish yeah you are still kicked out of the family but because we did not get a proper chance to say bye to you so your mother is so angry with you she's not going to get out of the car she's not going to even look at you I don't believe that you kept so much of secret from me your father sorry yeah she asked me to give this to you mutton Biryani for your trip your favorite so you can tell that you know what this woman loves her kid yeah Kum you're being selfish you're not thinking about us you're not thinking about Khadija in fact you're not even thinking about that girl you are in love with you think American dream is doing just about whatever you want and not thinking about other people you're wrong the dad has a a similar Outlook to the mother just maybe less aggressive about it he's definitely The Peacemaker he's The Peacemaker yeah he's a funny guy I like him he's a really goofy dad he puts out a lot of fires they're calling him at one point because there's another woman that the mother the mother has arranged to visit and the can't get in touch with him and he's just like oh let's sing I think I should make something clear um for I think he's just a gentle soul yeah I think the whole family is his brother too they have like a brotherly kind of relationship where they'll tease each other and make fun and stuff but he also cares about them you have to marry a Pakistani girl like like I H out with other girls but then I married Fatima and we hardly spoke two words to each other in the first few months but now K she's like my best friend I know you have to break up with her immediately if I find someone who's as good for me as FAA is for you Mom would understand right I mean she wouldn't love me less no she definitely love you list I know that you're different but look at me yeah I got set up but now we're like best friends it could work you know why you have to go against all these things that we've been doing for so long which is also really interesting I think with Navid it just really shows you how he can be raised by the same parents and come out different he's very much more of a traditionalist and he did get someone that he actually ends up enjoying but it's not always going to happen for people and it just doesn't ever work out for Camu what's the whole thing with Muslims growing beards anywhere it's such an arbitrary thing right like who decided that have beard there's a billion of us and you're the only one with the truth is that right so the sun is just shining down on you right now it's just a party he is very frustrated with Camille for not being a normal normal Pakistani guy but I don't think it's coming from a selfish place it's more coming out of fear just like with the mother yeah this cook is really good biscuits listen to yourself you har Pakistani sound like Julie Louie Dy such a burger calls him a burger yeah not really sure what that means but I'm assuming it's a derogatory term yeah for like when you're not acting too white or something something like that family I think are good to each other generally and try to be supportive but I think there is still that closed-mindedness and that frustration that people have when it's like why do you always have to be different you're so special that you think like you figured it out and everyone else is wrong I think that can be frustrating when you're overly invested in how someone else is living yeah okay you want your brother to be okay but you'll do things differently maybe you'll figure it out I think sometimes people push you into certain things because it's uncomfortable to have that proximity with someone who's living life differently and this situation it's uncomfortable for the fact of you're affecting the family Dynamic yeah Emily's parents is this seat okay I like Beth she's so feisty yes and she's just yes very straight shooting honest doesn't care about if you know she doesn't like you or not she'll show it yeah you know where you stand with her yeah come on there's no reason uh should eat there by yourself right hun it's a free country Terry is also The Peacemaker he's also a little kind of confused and may off put by camil being there because he also knows what happened but also se's like okay he wants to be around we can let him sit with us at least and eat yeah but they were definitely irritated with him at first they just wanted him gone but I think they definitely come around realizing that wow okay we're clearly averse to him being here we're not welcoming at all and yet he's coming and doing the hard thing anyway yeah through circumstances they have to spend more time together they end up going to his comedy show where things get heated between an audience member which kind of bonds them further I think it helped Beth and Terry to really come to sympathizing with Camille for why he would have ended things with Emily or why he wasn't able to further the relationship I think it was just that understanding that wait a minute you don't come from the same background you live differently I think that experience definitely changed things a little bit there was a closeness afterwards there was one point where Beth talks to C about hey you know my family also didn't accept Terry that kind of gives Camille some perspective with regard to his own relationship with Emily at one point it comes out that Terry had cheated on Beth and that's caused a rift also always a bit of a attention with them Terry talks about this with Camille while they're sleeping in the same room and it's just like a moment of vulnerability that they share these little moments of vulnerability get them very close I think I was depressed that's what it was yeah let's talk about it tomorrow get a full night's sleep fresh in the morning smelled so good it was horrible too as soon as I was finished soon as I finished I was like what did you do what did you just do what did you do I think that Terry and Beth are really good parents they really adore their daughter and are very protective of her and they have a close relationship enough that Emily is able to tell them about everything and Beth is like we know everything Emily tells us everything you don't have to worry about being committed to anything camale you didn't want to when she was awake there's no need to do it when she's unconscious it's more complicated than that is it cuz I know about the two I know about the head shot and the sacreds she tells us everything star contract to the relationship that yeah which is really sad when you think about it but it also gives you that perspective of the comfort that Emily has over Camille yeah I can't marry someone you fine for me and why not because I am in love with someone I am and her name is Emily and she's going to be a therapist and right now she's very sick but I couldn't tell you that it makes me so sck that I couldn't tell you any of that why we liked it why we liked it it's definitely relatable you don't have to be Pakistani to like this or white no just human just human yes you don't even have to be human to like it you could be a dog you could be a dog an alien an inorganic object yeah all all shapes and forms yeah you know I can relate to Camille's you know not feeling like he fits in anywhere really which again is usually why you turn to things like comedy it's like a way of coping but a way of also sharing your story cuz you feel unique so you're like well I feel kind of alone anyway so I'm more comfortable actually standing on the stage than being in the audience and you know there that getting that tension and validation and stuff that maybe comes from feeling invisible or feeling On The Fringe and it's also realistic I like that it's not one of those movies where it's about two people that end up together and that's it like things don't even have to make sense along the way but this one really does it is very realistic there's also just a lot of funny moments that are just very subtle and that it's just like a lot of like awkwardness or a lot of like little comments or him and Terrier trying to get along so uh Cubs doing good huh I don't know anything about baseball no he doesn't know baseball and Terry doesn't know what Camille's into are talking about you know so there's a lot of like missing each other's references and points of view and a lot of just very relatable stuff that happens when you're interacting with people themes other people have an impact on your romantic relationship people in your life your family your friends are going to have an impact on your relationship doesn't necessarily mean that you won't end up together but it could mean that you won't end up together or it could mean that there will always be a hurt that isn't resolved I think that's your pants I put him on the railing it probably fell it could mean that you do end up together but maybe there's a hurt that never ends up resolved because maybe your family decided that they will disown you for choosing to enter into this relationship which was what Camille was expecting would happen and what initially prevented him from pursuing the relationship further and committing in the way that Emily wanted him to commit which is why you just got to be accepting everybody but then it's tough because you can't be accepting of everybody because it's understandable that you also want to care about this person's coming into your life and your family do you get along are they going to be good to your the person you're your kid you know or whoever you know it's understandable that people care how much do you care do you you accept with some caveats or there some you know how much do you step into someone else's life It's tricky to know but it's also will they fit in to our culture that's also really important and that's why it's so much easier for Camille's parents to just be like marry within your culture that would be so much easier they know what we eat they know the songs they know the language and it'll just be so easy instead of adjusting and shifting life's hard enough why do we have to make it harder yeah yeah compatibility versus comfort you know there's that rush to get into a relationship or you could risk you know waiting for a more compatible connection with someone but might never come or comes a lot later I'm just really tired do you ever want to just be in a relationship so you can just finally relax do you ever just get so tired and just want to settle basically just so you can finally relax in a relationship and you have to keep going through all the nonsense of dating and being single and people questioning what what you're doing with your life I think that's that's a big part of that movie it's like they just want him just meet some why are you so picky and for him he's like I can't just be with someone for some people like Camille they just need it to make sense they need it to be more meaningful than the practicality of things or the comfort of knowing that your family isn't going to be upset with you for Camille that just doesn't make any sense to him when it comes to finding a partner is it that some people care more about compatibility than other people or is it that they're just different so the compatibility requirements are different because Camille just didn't he was the black sheep of the family he didn't fit in with the rest of family so you know his brother wasn't necessarily settling or just going along with it and not really wanting someone who's compatible him and his wife probably were just more compatible because he was more closely connected to their culture and everything you know had all these other um experiences and things that shaped him and so Emily was just more compatible like culturally or personality wise or whatever so it's not even that he's being more difficult or needing something more specific or unique it's just no he needs to look for the same thing that his brother has but he just find that in the people that he's getting uh you know set up with the challenges of intern the challenges of interracial relationships you know what are you going to do what are you going to do it adds a whole other dimension we're path of least resistance creatures and again life is hard so why would we want to make life harder if you're bringing two families together there is so much but because people getting along with people is tough at the best of times if you're bringing like dozens hundreds of other people potentially meeting dozens or hundreds of other people there's so much chance of things going wrong or feuds or beef happening and that can happen within cultures so then if you throw in a whole bunch of other unknowns a lot of variables uh people not knowing how to navigate at all the other family it's really tough and then you have to just deal with the general societal acceptance or not or lack thereof of the relationship getting into interracial relationship you really have to be more sensitive to your your partner's background and reality in life and I think you really need to step outside of your Norm it requires a bit more empathy I guess well not that more empathy not that like other relationships don't require a lot of empathy for their partner but like you gain a different perspective things like why won't you introduce me to your family that's a different thing like that's a comfort that Emily has that Camille doesn't have really hard to maintain adult relationships in the modern society because of the amount of competition and envy that the world brings to relationships I find makes me think of like him and his friends doing comedy like they're all competing unfortunately they're all pitted against each other only a few people can get selected for Comedy Festival or potential comedy gigs or shows or whatever and so they're all trying and they're all hanging out and there is also this kind of competitive err where like it's because they're comedians so they take Jabs at each other but it can get kind of vicious at times and like anything right it's that kind of situation everywhere so you have all these people trying their best and then some just it doesn't work out or they're not noticed and then he ends up moving to New York with his more successful friends and leaving his roommate who also was trying comedy I don't know I think it's that's a big part of like a lot of the loneliness and a lot of the splits in communities that's happening with everybody the competition in every possible Arena and field and the envy and the resentment that brings I think it's just so destructive I saw a sniffer dog at the airport get a boner does that mean drugs or bombs that's good what if what if instead of it being at the airport you quit comedy and never did comedy ever again yeah Bo Burnham's character I think he was just playing a more dickish version of himself I don't think he's actually that dickish in person although you get some people being like no actually I met him one time and he was a real dick and then you're like okay well it's probably two things either you were treating him just like a commodity or an object not like an actual person and people don't actually respond well to that so he was actually probably responding still nicer than you were or that second one might be over time he's developed good boundaries and someone that has a really good solid boundary game for people that don't they seem like a dickish person the person with good boundaries for the person that just wants and takes and wants attention wants pictures wants autographs the person that's just very respectful but it's like no that can seem dickish to people that have a very poor batteries game bit of a tangent burning questions I know you're tired so you might not have any burning questions cuz you're just just like wrap it up stop it let's go was Camille Dodge Podge in not telling Emily in advance about his family situation and and what level of Dodge Podge aity dodge dodge pacity dodge pod DOD Dodge pous yeah yeah DOD picity I think there was definitely some pess but it's just tough it's tough it's tough exactly that's why it's a burning question was he Dodge podge and on a scale of 1 to 10 how dod one being not at all and then 10 being super Dodge Podge yes um other than that honestly honestly I can't really think of it do you think Camille and Emily end up together mhm anyway that's some stuff that we had to say about the big sick what do you guys think let us know in the comments down below share your thoughts on our thoughts till the next time peace apparently there are good and bad Comas and the kind that they put her in the medically induced coma are definitely like the good kind of coma like you know how there are good and bad carbs Gremlins those can be good or bad listen come on uh we're going to handle things from here okay