The 5 PILLARS of Health you NEED to be FIT and HEALTHY | Dolvett Quince on Health Theory

This episode is brought to you by Peak, where plants and science intersect. Go to peaktea.com/impact, you'll get 5% off your first order, and use code impact at checkout to get free shipping. Enjoy the episode. I don't relate to being overweight, but I do relate to not loving oneself. So, once I've mastered that, and I've lost the weight on my heart, so to speak, I can then show other people how to do that. Stay hungry. I'm never going to approach a situation like I know everything, even when I know a lot of that thing. Because I may learn something that I didn't know that I can just add to my deck of cards. And I'm out here trying to add to my deck of cards. I think you get a charge out of that. That relentless, nothing's going to stop me. You know what I mean? When you use that power, that's just as beautiful as the smile. Everybody, welcome to Health Theory. Today's guest is Dolvett Quince. He's a New York Times best-selling author, fitness expert, entrepreneur, and perhaps most recognizable for being one of the long-standing trainers on the smash-hit TV show, The Biggest Loser. In addition to the untold number of people he helped transform on the show, he's also helped a slew of celebrity clients to up their fitness game, including Justin Bieber, Janet Jackson, Angela Bassett, and he even once got the chance to train Michelle Obama as a part of her Let's Move initiative. And Dolvett, what I want to talk about is that you say that transformation starts in the mind, and I could not agree more, and I want to start there. Why does it start in the mind, and how do you help people get over their roadblocks? Perception is in your head. So, how you perceive yourself determines in direction that you go. If you're defeated, if you're a woe-is-me personality, you'll treat your body accordingly. Right? If you are a no matter what, I'm going to make this happen, right? If you're the type of personality or you can will yourself towards your great. If you have those tangibles within you, the likelihood of you being healthy and it's spilling into other areas of your healthy being, you'll be great. You've talked about how a big part of what you do is psychology and that one of the things you think makes for a great trainer is that they're a great listener. What are you looking for? Like are you trying to establish a personality type? Are you trying to see what excuses they carry around? Like how where do you start with unraveling that to help them? One of the things that I did as a as a personal trainer Let me back up. One of the things that I did as a business owner when I had my private personal training studio in Atlanta was I did all the consultations. Tell me why you're here. Tell me what your needs are. More importantly, tell me more than just why you want to lose weight, but tell me the other things around your life. I I had to understand their lifestyle, their structure, their distractions. What are some like classic things that you saw people struggling with that were stopping them from getting where they wanted to go? Enablers come in many forms. You know, be at work, be at the other person on the other side of their relationship. They don't want to disappoint them. Their self-judgment in themselves a lot of times. Um wanting the change, but not really wanting the change. Meaning that they want it. I want to lose 40 lbs, but I really like the way that donut tastes. You know what I mean? It's So it's the discipline of really wanting to make those changes. I think the desire was there, but the willingness to go above and beyond to that place wasn't. Not just yet. It takes time to get there. You have a really interesting quote, Who? if I may, Please do. that I think it's really interesting and says a lot about your approach to um training. You said, "Self-love that is the ultimate supplement, vitamin, weight-loss system that you can take, period, point-blank. I'd put my entire career on that." What do you mean by that? Self-love is interesting. Um when someone loves themself, when someone really believes that despite my flaws, despite my shortcomings, my looks, my income, I like me. I love me. When you love yourself, you treat yourself as such. You ever have a car that you love and you would just shine it and polish it and you know, every Sunday you'd wash it yourself. No, I'm not going to take it to get washed. I'm going to wash it. You know, you took such pride in it. You treated that car like it was a woman, a girlfriend, a wife. I don't know. You know what I mean? You held it to that level. To be in that place as a human being, to love yourself enough to say, "You know what? I understand my value and because I understand my value, I'm going to treat myself in every area of my life the best way I can. Be the best version of me." I may slip here and there, but my love is stronger than my hate. My love is stronger than my weakness. My love is stronger than my doubt. If your love is the epitome of you, then you'll always win in life. It's really interesting and I know that um people push back on you because you have an astonishing physique and one of the first things they would ask you is, "Well, have you ever been overweight? Can you really relate?" And you have a pretty fascinating answer. I've never been overweight. I can relate because I've been over pain and over feared and over doubted, right? I come from a background, my life where I've had many reasons not to be here today. Many reasons to fail. But I understand how to talk myself out of that fear and how to talk myself out of that pain. I don't relate to being overweight, but I do relate to not loving oneself. So once I've mastered that and I've lost the weight on my heart, so to speak, I can then show other people how to do that. Mhm. Tell us a little bit about your background and then what I really want to know is how you turned that into something so positive. Well, um I was adopted. I had two brothers and one sister. All four of us were adopted by the same couple. I remember going to a house of which it was a foster care home of maybe 14 kids. And um those kids left. We stayed with Mr. and Mrs. Alcock and they decided to adopt all four of us and keep us together. That's the Cinderella story. Within that story though, they were both mentally and physically abusive. So it's a beautiful thing to have my brother and sister raised with me, but at the same time it was something I had to fight through to um even though I got what I wanted, there was some things that I needed more, you know? I needed that love, that that that home, that heart structure. It wasn't the case. Not even a little bit. Um And so when they told me that I wasn't good enough or I'd never amount to anything, there's a part of my brain that wanted to believe that. Like maybe I won't be good enough. Maybe I'm not good enough. But I still loved them. Despite the the physical abuse, despite the mental abuse, and all the other stories that I lived with, I remember saying I love you. I remember giving them a hug. I remember asking for something that I knew I'd get a no from Mhm. and then a week later ask again. I approached it differently. Like, what is this inquisitive kid? What's wrong with him? And I think every time I faced my demon or I approached my fear, it strengthened me. It made me feel like, you know what? If I try something enough times or if I believe long enough, or the thing that I'm afraid of, I look it in its eye and say, "You're not going to defeat me, own me, control me, then I win." And that's how I win. It's really interesting. So, how did you begin to conceptualize that when you were a kid? But when does it stop becoming a tool and start becoming just who you are or was it always who you are despite the circumstance? What has always been a part of me has and always will be. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. So, that's your tattoo? Right. Talk to me about that because I know the words of it, Mhm. but I don't 100% know that I know what it means. what it means. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. There is no weapon out there. There's no anything in life that could defeat me or make me feel less than that will come on top. But how do you make sure that ends up being true? It's a daily practice. It's the same reason you get up and you work out every day. Why are you working out? You're already fit. I do it because I It's a daily thing, right? Every single day I get up thinking, "All right, how are you going to make today better? What is it about today that you're going to work on that you gave a little bit of time to yesterday?" A friend of mine, and I love quoting her when I talk about this stuff, a friend of mine said that her dad would ask her and her brother when she came home from school, "What did you fail at today?" What the hell do you mean, what did I fail at today? Yeah, what did you fail at today? I don't really don't want to know all the things you were good at, but I want to know what you failed at cuz I want to know what did you try to do that you knew you weren't good at or you just weren't good at, but you gave it a shot anyway. Let's talk about that. And they would have those kind of conversations. So, it's that sort of mentality that I look at. Some people dwell on their failures and some people allow it to own them or their shortcomings or the weaknesses. I look at it as a way to challenge myself. You know what I mean? And I take it and I empower myself. So, I knew with my childhood, with my upbringing, everything that I'd been through, there was nothing out there that was going to be the defeat the thing that defeated me. There was nothing, no human being, no circumstance, nothing. If I can come through what I came through, oh, I can get through anything. So, that's what it means to me. What do you think about the dark side? Like Darth Vader type dark side. Using the darkness, using aggression. Um when you hear Kobe Bryant talk, who was another person that he worked with, about, you know, having to dominate. Um we had Jay Williams on the show and Jay played against Kobe Bryant and when he was playing against him that day, he goes out and starts practicing and when he walks onto the court, Kobe's already there practicing. And Jay, you know, shoots around for like an hour and then finally is like, I need to go get ready for the game and he heads inside and Kobe's still practicing. And after the game, Kobe beats them handily and he goes up to Kobe and he's like, you know, why did you keep practicing for so long? Like you're doing game level moves. And Kobe said, I just needed you to know that I would outwork you. And he said, no disrespect whatsoever. And that's the dark side. People that just tap into something, it comes from a place of all aggression, domination, I am going to win no matter what. Like when I hear that quote from Isaiah, it makes me feel some kind of way. And the some kind of way makes me feel powerful. It makes me want to like rise up and like in my head, I'm imagining like standing bloodied at the top of the hill, you know, with cut marks screaming. But that [ __ ] makes me feel good, man. I love that kind of stuff. But I like I didn't know for you if that was like the sort of yin and yang to the big smiles, all love, self-love, all of that. And but you know that over here is a reserve that I can tap into if I need to. Or if for you it really is the same bucket. I think there is a reserve. There better be. I think if someone is too tipping on one side, then something's missing on the other side. I think that yin and that yang has to be prevalent, and I think it is prevalent in everyone. Anyone who says it isn't doesn't come from a truthful place. You follow what I mean? Oh, yes. I use that fuel that you described to get me to where I want to be. And when that's on, there is no stopping me. There is no stopping me. This that sort of dedication and that determination that separates you from the probably's and the maybe's of the mentality of certain people. I have both. What I choose to show when I choose it is up to me. I think you get a charge out of that. That relentless nothing's going to stop me. You know what I mean? When you use that power, that's just as beautiful as the smile. So, when you are trying to help somebody with that transformation and you're trying to get them to tap into self-love, which I think is is super powerful to get people to lead with that, how do you begin to really um peel away the sort of dead skin of all the things that make them feel badly about themselves? How do you help them process through that? One of the things that I do is that I teach them how to empower themselves. I want to train you in a way that you need yourself, that you you see yourself, you see your own strength. And so, some of the things that I do uh for example, I was working with some of the clients on Biggest Loser. Um if I'm working with five people, which nine times out of 10 I was, um when I saw one of them stand out and really start to click and get it, I would pull them from their assignment and make them show another person who wasn't doing so well. Mhm. That's interesting. That person that they were helping felt like, "Wow, one of my comrades is really helping me." But the person I gave the assignment to became very empowered. It gave them a sense of "You want me to be you?" "Okay." And they just immediately became this different person. That layer was peeled off like, "Wait a second, maybe I do have this." I can I'm the teacher now. Mhm. I'm no longer learning. So, this movement, this moment is mine. With that sort of um impactful opportunity for that individual, it really gives them a sense of I got this. And if I can create a lot of I got this moments in their life and layer those up, the the the shedding becomes a much easier. Mhm. My wife and I used to obsessively watch The Biggest Loser. Really? I love that show. So, I told you I grew up in a morbidly obese family. So, for me I saw so much of my childhood, so much of the people that I loved in that show. And seeing the often cathartic moments where they would have these tremendous breakthroughs was always pretty extraordinary. And at the beginning of the um season, you could tell not necessarily who was going to win, but you could tell who was in trouble or who was on a path to success based on whether they had a lot of excuses or whether they took ownership of their situation. How do you when somebody's really clinging on to a disempowering narrative, they've got just a bag of excuses, how do you begin to help them let go of that? It's not easy. There is There is no all you have to do to answer that question, to be honest with you. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of time um because they're They haven't let go whatever they're holding on to, be it their past, be it a camera in front of them and they don't want to say anything to embarrass themselves or someone else. Whatever their excuse is in that moment, you really have to build trust. My immediate approach is how can I build trust with this person so that I can begin to help them. I think there has to be a raw willingness to be um not imperfect, but vulnerable. And I think if you can expose your vulnerabilities, it evens the playing field. It says to that person, you're not perfect. You're like me in more ways than I anticipated. Now I can work with you. Once I show you that vulnerability, I'm going to still go up and rise above to pull you up to that next level cuz we both can't live in that line. You can let You have to let go of the excuses in order to get to that next level. And once you let go of the excuses, you will get to that next level. Right? You've said that the way you are is a daily choice, which I find really interesting. You also talk a lot about part of what you have to do is um help them develop new habits. So, what are the the daily choices that you make that can be turned into habits for somebody else that will help empower them? I believe that health is so much more than a push-up. It's so much more than a squat. I think there is a mental exercise that you have to do daily. Be it reading a book, being in a having a provocative conversation. There's an emotional health piece that you have to do. There's a social piece. There's a spiritual piece. What I do is I put some of my energy into all of those pieces throughout my day. Right? Often times people think, "Yeah, if you go to the gym, you look good, you feel good." Yeah, that's one sheet. You need five sheets. You just do every single day in order to write a great day. Physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, and social. You would think, "Wait, mental and emotional, aren't they the same?" No, no, no, no, they're not. You know, I want to be smart. I want to be better. So, I'm going to read more. I may even want to go back to school. I want to I want to talk with to educators and professors and and and CEOs of companies. Who in your soak in your circle that motivate you, that inspire you? You know, is it the same people that when you were 70 lb heavier or 40 lb heavier that are in your life that are your enablers, or have you separated yourself to surround yourself with people to motivate you? And maybe it's not about weight. Maybe it's about your current financial state. Maybe it is where you are and where you want to be. But you're never going to go where you want to be if you're associating with the same type of people. So, there's levels of health. Those five pillars of health are how you know, that's how you become strong. That's how you make your fist. Do you think there's a universal diet? That is a brilliant question. Is there a universal diet? I think everyone's different. I don't think that there's a cookie-cutter way for everyone to eat a specific way. I don't believe that at all because we're all different from different backgrounds, regions, DNAs, two different worlds, two different wombs. So, yeah. That's two different worlds, two different wombs? Is that what you said? That's really interesting. Um 5 years ago, I probably would have said, "That's crazy." Now, I am totally with you. So, what are guidelines? How do people figure out what's right for them? Because people's inclination is to throw their hands up and be like, "Ah, it's different for everybody. Who knows? I'm just going to out the hand that I was dealt. Ah, it is what it is. Right. I think you know, on a on a expensive level, maybe, depending becoming is becoming more um acceptable now to um or financially acceptable to do something like this is actually to get blood work to see where your allergies might be, see how your body responds. There's DNA tests out there in terms of benefits on on how your body responds at a optimal level. I love that type of education. Um everyone who necessarily can't afford that, per se, um it is trial and error. Everyone knows the difference between if I eat fried chicken or baked chicken, what's it going to do to my system. The problem then is what am I doing in order to make those changes. You know, I wrote the book 3121 showing people in the days of the week yes, you can cheat. Yes, you can have fun. Yes, you can eat what you want to eat, but you better earn it. Lean towards eating clean and earn the days that you get to have fun, so to speak. Walk us through the 3121. And I think the thing that's most interesting about that is when you get to your one of your two cheat days define cheat. 3121 represents days of the week or eating patterns. It's an eating pattern. So, So 3 days straight, I eat clean. And on that one day I'm going to cheat. And define clean for me. Clean to me is good fats, plenty of green vegetables, lean protein, plenty of water, taking your vitamins, eating clean. Mhm. Right? One is cheating. Meaning that I know sugar's the enemy, but I'm going to have a little bit of sugar. I'm going to have some wine. You know, I'm going to eat the carbs I haven't had for 3 days cuz I've been dying for that cheesecake. So I eat clean for three, I cheat on one, I eat clean for two, and I cheat on one. Mhm. That internal manipulation actually confuses your body and nine times out of 10 will help you maintain a more lean physique than it would if you ate clean for so many days and then cheated straight for 3 days having your Cheesecake Factory and your ice cream, you know? What it does mean is um stay within a still a portion control of eating, but eat the things that you like to eat. If you go outside that portion control, then you have the stomach ache and the overeating and the sugar spikes and you won't go back to your three coming off of a one. You'll just have one one one one one one back-to-back because your body, you know, the the body responds that way. Pique Tea is your daily antioxidant powerhouse. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of gut health for your overall health, immunity, and energy level and basically every other function in your body. My wife Lisa is fanatical about her gut health and we're always looking for ideas to help. Fermented tea can be incredibly helpful for gut health. That's why you have to check out Pique Tea's fermented puerh tea. Pique Tea's fermented puerh tea is wild harvested from rare 250-year-old tea trees, and naturally fermented with prebiotics, probiotics, and antioxidants to nourish a healthy gut microbiome. And it's a great kombucha alternative without the sugar, flavorings, or artificial sweeteners. One of our Impact Theory team members has tried Peak Tea, and he especially likes the puer green. The flavor is fantastic, and it's become part of his breakfast routine. It's also a great way for him to naturally stay focused and calm during a busy day. Peak's fermented puer is more powerful and concentrated in antioxidants than any other type of tea. Puer green tea is the holy grail of tea to support a healthy immune system, cellular health, sustained energy, and focus. And the puer black tea is fully fermented to support healthy digestion and healthy weight management. Peak's cold extraction technology preserves antioxidants at maximum potential, and it's triple toxin screen for contaminants commonly found in tea. Peak's revolutionary tea crystals dissolve in seconds using cold or hot water with zero prep or brewing required. And their tea packets fit right in your pocket, so they're the perfect fit if you're on the go. Go to peaktea.com/impact and use code impact at checkout to get 5% off your first order, free shipping, and that's p i q u e t e a .com/impact. There's a reason that Peak has over 15,000 five-star reviews. Try it for yourself risk-free with their 30-day satisfaction guarantee. You'll either love it or get your money back. With over 20 delicious, award-winning flavors, you are sure to find the one you love. That's peaktea.com, again spelled p i q u e t e a .com/impact. You'll get 5% off your first order, and use code impact at checkout to get free shipping. Enjoy the episode. And what's your advice for people if they do mess up and they they it was supposed to be one of my three and I went off the rails? What's your advice? How do they get back on? Um you really don't mess up if you're conscious of the mess up. If you ignore it and you simply just keep going, then you failed. You know, don't beat yourself up and think you can't get back to it, right? So, okay, you had two back-to-back cheat days. Now it's time for you to get back on those three days straight, four days straight, whatever it is of eating clean. Add an extra day to make up for the two that you added in or the one that you added in. Give me some clean days straight through. Start a regime of movement in your body. Flush your system with plenty of water, and you'll get back on track. So, how do you approach um experimentation? I know that you did a 30-day vegan experimentation. I don't know if you've done others, but that I thought that was pretty interesting. Um one, do you have a an actual strategy around the experimentation? And then two, I'd love to know what you felt doing the 30-day vegan thing. Um my strategy before I do any sort of guinea pig sort of thing with myself is to do as much research as possible, talk to experts who are already doing it, uh read where I can read uh information on it. Like with the vegan thing, uh I spoke to uh two or three vegan chefs. I spoke to a vegan bodybuilder, um uh athlete, and said, "Okay, I'm approaching this. I'm going to do this for 30 days." I did it. I hated it. Sorry, all my vegan people. Sorry, all my vegetarians out there. I I I I it didn't work for me. Um I will say this, I found that I I better. Hm. I rested really, really deep. Not to say I don't sleep well now, but I remember when I did it, I really did I really slept um deeply. Um outside of that I found that every 2 hours I was hungry. Have you ever done it before? Vegan? Yeah. Vegetarian? Nothing? You ever did a test or I've done I I haven't actually. So, I went vegetable dominant for a while, but I still had some meat and I was not systematic at all. So, I wouldn't even call it a real fair experiment, but I did not enjoy how I felt physically. Um so, I felt foggier. I didn't have the clarity that I normally have and I didn't have the energy that I normally have. It's not like I'm vegetable-phobic. I love vegetables. I have massive amounts. My plate is made up of more vegetables than anything else. But, I do I'm not shy about meat at all. I absolutely love being high-fat. I get most of my fat from olive oil and animal fat and I feel spectacular. And so, for that reason, because I want to live forever, and if you uh we haven't talked about that yet, but I sincerely do want to live forever and I think that it if I can extend my life if I can hit like the 120 mark, I really think that science would catch up and I'd be able to live forever. I look at life this way. Every day the moment of now is actually all that's real. And the past may be fake. The future obviously is just something that you imagine in your mind. So, if all I ever have is right now this moment, have I ever had a right now this moment where I wanted to die? For me, the answer is no. I've never had a right now moment where I wanted to die. So, why would I ever think that there would ever come a time where I wanted to die? Now, I have had anxiety over dying where I thought if I died right now, that would really suck. Really? So, I know in my stretch of now that has lasted so far 42 years, I have always had one exact thought, which is that I'm glad I'm alive. Right. So, you want to keep that thought for as long as you can have that thought cuz you want to live in your now. two is I want to plan for a long time. Right before the camera started rolling, I told you I'm trying to build the next Disney. You did. And I And you said, "Hey, you can do it." And I said, "Well, check back in with me in 70 years to see if I've actually done it." Now, most people at 42 do not plan 70 years in the future. And trust me, I constantly check myself because it might be really stupid. It might be really dumb for me at at 42 to be thinking 70 years from now. Okay. And so, I check myself against it into is this not only interesting 70 years from now, is it interesting today? Cuz if it's only interesting in 70 years, odds are right now you're not going to make it. So, probably far better to do something that you're enjoying today. But, if they both line up, then I know I'm in the right space. So, right now I love the things that I do on a day-to-day basis, and they're interesting if I can really keep this going for 70 years and build the next thing that can influence culture, which is what actually motivates me, because of the kid that I used to Big Brother for. And I thought, "How I was too young and stupid to help him back then? How could I have given him an empowering mindset so that he turns out to be the next Al Bet?" Because he didn't. Like most people fear passing away and they can't believe it happened and go you know, there's this anxiety. What if I I don't have that in me. It's never been in me cuz I've always been optimistic and spiritually deep enough and aware that it's going to be okay. Let's talk about fear. You have a very interesting relationship with fear. Yes. I want to know about the the fear of heights and the eight helicopters that you've jumped out of, which seems like an odd way to go about a fear of heights. Um yeah, I remember rappelling out of a helicopter. My second season on the show, and then the director had this crazy idea. You know what would be a great way to open up the show? What if you rappelled out of a helicopter? Uh I remember saying to myself, you just have to do it. I know I'm afraid of heights. I have a fear of heights. Um have a fear of uh water in the ocean. And I've repelled and I've repelled I've jumped out of a helicopter into the ocean with full gear on on a national television show. Went down drowning, got pulled out the ocean, but I still did it knowing that I wasn't a good swimmer. Why would my crazy ass do that stuff? Um I'm a adrenaline junkie. I can't tell people to be fearless and to look past their insecurities if I don't do the same. I have to keep it 100. I have to speak from a authentic place, right? And it won't be authentic or won't truly mean it unless I do the same thing I ask people to do. Like you know you're afraid of this, but go for it anyway. You know you're not good at this thing, but do it anyway. And if you do it, what's going to happen on the other side of that version of you? I always wanted to charter the unknown from an internal perspective. What happens cuz I've been doing that my whole life. Right? What happens on the other side of me if I truly face my fear? It's interesting. I want to know what are the beliefs that really drive you and I think the easiest way to figure that out, tell me what you've taught your son. Like what are the three key things if you died today that you want to make sure that you'd instilled in him before you passed? Be honest with yourself. First, be honest with yourself. Cuz if you practice honesty with yourself, that's who you are. You'll naturally become that for everyone else. Right? People lie to themselves. I'm I'm this and I'm that and I'm going to tell everyone that I'm this and and if you practice something long enough, if those are your reps, that's what you become strong in. Be honest with yourself. Be the best man you can be. Okay? And just go for it. Let's go back. Be the best man that you can be. What are like what's your vision of being a good man? Having high integrity. Treating people with respect. Demanding respect of yourself. A good man to me is someone who has a firm handshake and looks you in the eye. For as old school and and corny as that sounds, I think that guy isn't around as much. I think people spend more time with their robot than they do with the human being. Being a Being the best man you can be is having a very high level of integrity, saying what you mean and meaning what you say. That's also something that's not practiced a lot. Mhm. Um those are those are tangible things I think that he can take with him and really uh put into different areas in his life. You once defined success in a way that I found really interesting and I have it written down. Success is the consistent pursuit of something you love. Mhm. Why pursuit? Because we're always trying to get better. Right? You never land on betterment. Dun ta da da, I'm on mountain betterment. I'm I'm great. We're never always there. It's a moment. Mhm. If anyone met you and they and they saw you and they spoke to you, that's a very successful guy. But your perception of your success where you are today doesn't necessarily agree with what they see. Mhm. Cuz as far as you're concerned, you have other attributes that you have yet to touch. You gave me a 70-year plan. That means you still have 30-some-odd more years of moments of success before you get there. So, it's a pursuit. I think that is what makes us great. Well, shouldn't you just be happy with where you are? No one's happy with where they are. You could be happy in a moment, but to have aspirations and goals is what make us great. You know, I've never met anyone who's had any level of success who doesn't continue wanting more in other areas or trying different things. And I hate when people are like, "Well, why don't you just do that?" Well, why are you trying to pigeonhole me? Am I supposed to only go to Alabama for the rest of my life and not see Paris or see Africa? Am I not supposed to visit around the world and discover different things? Am I just supposed to be one thing for the rest of my life? No. Pursue life. It's the pursuit that makes it count, not the I've made it. Cuz you never really make it. You should always want to evolve. Yeah, that notion of wanting to evolve, I like that a lot, which reminds me of something else you said. Uh-oh. Which was be humble, but stay hungry. Mhm. That's my favorite. those are You want to talk yin and yang. How do you cultivate those two? Stay green to grow, but stoop to conquer was a phrase that was said to me years ago. Even though you may know, you may know a lot, right? But there's something in the moment in which you know a lot. If you overpower that moment, you'll miss learning something. Cuz you can always add something to what you know. There's always a missing puzzle piece to the picture you've created. Always. Right? And you're in a conversation with someone. So, tell me more. Tell me, you know, and then you add once you get something, you add to it. So, stay humble, but stay hungry. I'm never going to approach a situation like I know everything, even when I know a lot of that thing. Cuz I may learn something that I didn't know that I can just add to my deck of cards. And I'm out here trying to add to my deck of cards. I'm not trying to be the everything. Because if I am, then I and I've stopped growing. You know? Oh, yes. want to stop growing. I want to get better. You know? Maybe you and I may be the last two people on this planet cuz we're going to live forever now, but at least we'll have something to teach each other and have the willingness to want to do that. The best people out there in every circumstances, be it business, be it relationships, dad, father, husband, CEO, employee, wherever you are in your category, you have a willingness and a desire. Those are the best people. And that's your DNA, have a willingness to grow and a desire to be better, you're going to [ __ ] win, man. Mhm. You're going to win. Yeah, I will agree to that. Talk a lot about putting in the reps. Yep. Details. There's a detail to your story that I find really interesting and I want to know more about, which is for your son's 21st birthday, you made a video where you had 20 other people come on and give like their best minute and a half of advice and then you were the 21st piece of advice. What piece of advice did you give and then what were some other nuggets from the video? Wow. I told him that I loved him. I told him that I was hard on him because I loved him. I demand greatness from him because I see greatness in him. I told him to never, ever, ever give up. That there will be people out there that will tell you you're not good enough. There'll be people out there to tell you that you'll never be that other person. Don't be one of those people. Be the outlier in that belief system. Be the one who's different and be the one who never gives up on you. And then teach that to your son. Right? Some of the other ones in there were so amazing. I mean I reached out to 20 men who I get advice from or give advice to. And I said to them, "If you were 21, what would you want someone to say to you?" "Please give my son that advice. Make him a 2-minute video. I'mma comprise these voices and I'll be the 21st voice." And it's so funny you bring that up because just a couple days ago I walked in his room and he was watching that video. Wow. Yeah, so it's still, you know, you can give anyone a gift, but to give them something that can last forever, something that is so impactful. You said something that really hit me, which is you demand greatness of him. Mhm. I like the choice of both the word demand and greatness. Mhm. Talk to me about that. I think people are really um leery about making demands, holding people to standards. What do you think about that? You played me a beautiful compliment by saying you're very humble. But just because I'm humble doesn't mean I'm not it's lost on me to go go pursue being great. Right? Please don't get that twisted because often times people go, "Oh, he's such a nice guy. He's humble." No, I go extremely hard to be the best Mhm. me that I can be or the best of what I'm doing in that moment. Be great. Why are you limiting yourself because of what people might think? We hold so much weight on others' opinions that it becomes our opinion. Which is crazy to me. Like I think you, everyone in this room, everyone in this world, wants to be better than where they are right now. What's stopping you? Oh, I know. You. You're standing in the way because you will put a pillar of thought in front of the thought go be great. Uh but My dad always told me I would never be that. So, I'm not going to pursue that. I don't want to get in the way because if I go do that, then my girlfriend will be like, I don't care about her enough. We create so many excuses to pursuing the best version of ourselves. What's your dream? Let me ask a simpler question. What makes you happy? The thing that makes us happy are the things that we're passionate about. I really like and when they say that, their face lights up. Then why don't you do more of that? Well, I can't because uh Then you don't want to be great. You're not ready to be great. You want to be good. You want to be okay. But you don't want to be great. Because great takes work. Great takes a level of discipline that is distraction free. I'm just that much into it. I want it that bad. I can see myself doing this for the rest of my life. Why? I I I I love it. If you love something, you spend time with that something, right? It's no longer just an idea or a probably or a maybe or a one day. I love it. So, I nurture it. I polish that car. I wash it. I spit shine it. Right? That's my great. How do you get people to cultivate that? You used that word and I love that word. Cultivation is a daily practice. It's spending time with it every single day. It's studying it, understanding it. Talking about it, talking it into existence, practicing it while you're talking it. Making it a part of what you are and who you are. That's cultivation, like you know what I mean? It's not just words, it's actions put into words, put into motion, and that becomes reality. A lot of people talk. A lot of people don't do. The ones that talk and do, they're the cultivators. Yeah? Yeah. That is fantastic. All right, before I ask my last question, Go. tell these guys where they can find you online. Everything online is @dalvette. Just follow me on all my social media platforms. All right. My last question, Yeah. what is one change that people could make that would have a massive impact on their health? That's a brilliant question. What is the one thing that people can change that could have a massive impact on their health? Para cambiar, hay que cambiar. In order to change, you have to change. It's a Spanish phrase. Love what you're doing, but challenge yourself every day. Love what you're doing, but challenge yourself just a little bit every day, and you will change. I like that. Yeah. All right, guys. If you want to challenge yourselves, I'm telling you, go follow him at @dalvette. It is amazing. This guy can talk everything from hip-hop and wine to health, fitness, entrepreneurship. He really is doing a lot of different things, and somebody that's doing it from the perspective of having a growth mindset, of knowing that they never reach Mount Betterment, that every day is an opportunity to grow and become better, and is pushing themselves to face their fears. That's the kind of person that you want in your life. And so often today, I think people misunderstand the power of social media. One of the most amazing things it can do is let you build that group of five that they say you are the average of, and understand that you're not just the average of the five people you spend the most physical time with. You're the average of the five ideas, the five mindsets that you spend the most time with. And his mindset is incredibly powerful, and I think that it will draw you guys in. It will give you a way to really see yourself as he does, which is a Renaissance man. And one thing that we didn't get to talk about is he wants to be the next black James Bond, which I think is amazing. Somebody who really is looking at the world far more holistically, and as he said when we were talking, don't try to put him in a box. And that's what you're going to get when you dive in his social world is all of the different passions that he has, and the way that he brings them together in a way that is so truly unique to him. Remember, his definition of success is the pursuit of something that you love, and I think that is extraordinary. All right, if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe, and until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care. All that. Thank you, my man. What's up, Impactivist? As you guys know, my mission in life is to provide the no-BS instruction manual for success. And to that end, we've launched our platform Impact Theory University. Our goal with ITU is to provide you with curriculum that will help you take your career, business, or personal development to the next level. So, regardless of your end goal, ITU is designed to provide you with the universal principles and tactics of success that will propel you forward. So, whether you want to build a Fortune 500 company, advance quickly up the ranks at your company, become a more effective parent or partner, or simply get unstuck. There are core principles that apply, and that's where Impact Theory University comes in. But, to be clear, ITU is not another podcast or conversation with an influencer. You can get all of that for free right here on our YouTube page. Instead, it is structured education delivered in a compelling format and paired with social support and accountability. We offer two tracks, business and mindset, and regardless of which track you choose, you'll gain access to a library of all of our pre-recorded classes, as well as 2 hours of live teaching per month, where you'll have the opportunity to engage with me, ask questions, and meet others in the community. Every class also comes with an actionable worksheet designed to help you take the immediate action that is required to make any new skill stick. And last, but certainly not least, as a student enrolled in ITU, you'll get access to an exclusive online community of other like-minded individuals who will help you study the content, work through all of your goals, and keep you accountable at all times. ITU pricing starts as low as $47 a month for the mindset track and $97 a month for the business track. There's also a 50% discount if you buy the whole year up front, and additional discounts if you sign up for both mindset and business. When you bundle all of the discounts together, the cost drops to roughly 80 cents a day. I think ITU truly is the best content we have ever made, but if you sign up and don't agree that it's worth, say, 10 times what you paid, just take advantage of our no questions asked 30-day money-back guarantee. I don't want any of us to get paid unless we're delivering disproportionate value. So, trust that the refund process will be absolutely hassle-free. And if this sounds like something that would help you move forward in your life, but you can't afford it, we do have a scholarship program that you can apply for that provides free access to those in need. All right, everybody, if you want to take advantage of this and make a dramatically important in your life, sign up today. The link is in the description or you can go directly to university.impacttheory.com. I look forward to seeing you on the inside, my friends, and until then, be legendary. Take care. Thank you guys so much for watching and being a part of this community. If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. You're going to get weekly videos on building a growth mindset, cultivating grit, and unlocking your full potential.