Video summary
The video introduces a counterintuitive five-day experiment designed to dramatically improve personal productivity and self-trust without relying on traditional willpower or long-term challenges like the popular 90-day rule. The speaker argues that procrastination is not a lack of discipline but rather an issue of "self-rust," which refers to the erosion of one's ability to trust their own commitments. By committing to a specific task for five days and strictly stepping away from it if the commitment isn't met, individuals can rebuild this self-trust quickly. This method, detailed in the speaker's book *After You Don't Show Up*, focuses on stopping the cycle of making "reflex promises" and negotiating with oneself, which ultimately prevents genuine progress while causing anxiety.
The core protocol involves a simple yet strict rule: if you fail to show up for a committed task, you must immediately step away from it for the remainder of the day without scrambling to make up for lost time or trying to negotiate a new deadline. The speaker explains that this creates a natural consequence where not doing the task becomes a form of punishment rather than a reward, forcing the individual to confront the real reasons behind their failure, such as feeling overwhelmed or being a perfectionist, rather than engaging in self-judgment. Over the course of these five days, participants often experience an "aha moment" realizing that they care deeply about their tasks but have been torturing themselves by trying too hard to force compliance, which ironically leads to burnout and inconsistency.
By the end of the fifth day, most people find that their commitments become serious and non-negotiable, effectively restoring their self-trust within a very short timeframe. The speaker emphasizes that this approach allows individuals to become more knowledgeable about their own behaviors and to relate to themselves with kindness rather than bullying or coercion. Once the method clicks, users typically make fewer promises but honor them consistently, leading to a significant reduction in life anxiety regarding getting things done. The video concludes by encouraging viewers to try this five-day experiment on tasks where there is no immediate deadline, promising that it will fundamentally change how they view productivity and their relationship with themselves long after the initial period ends.
Read the full video transcript
5 days to change your life. I'm not even
suggesting you need 30 or 90 days or
90day challenge. I'm I'm even worse than
those self-help guys. I'm saying you can
change your life in five days.
Five days. So, I'm undercutting the
self-help guys with this the hustle
culture stuff that's out there. But I am
saying that at least one area of your
life can dramatically improve in 5 days.
and that is that uh getting things done
and showing up for yourself can
dramatically improve in that period of
time because it's not a willpower
problem. If it was a willpower problem,
you wouldn't need 90 days,
right? But it's not. It's actually I've
identified it as a self-rust problem.
Selfrust isn't a muscle. Self trust is a
way you relate to yourself and it can be
usually takes a long time for selfrust
to erode but it once you figure out how
it all works you can restore selfrust
incredibly easily and quickly within 5
days
but getting things done and showing up
for yourself becomes a lot easier when
we don't have selfrust
you know I ask people what are the
chances that you're going to do that
thing that you said you're going to do
some people would say 10% 15% % 50%.
But that's kind of the same even if it's
as high as 50%, that's the same as
saying I don't know if I'll do it. So we
don't know. We can't trust ourselves
with the things that we're committing
to. When we have no selfrust or very low
selfrust,
it's incredibly anxietyinducing.
So what if you could before I tell you
how to do it and I'll tell my ideas in a
second. Imagine you knew for sure that
if you said you're going to do
something, you would do it.
Would you feel better about things? I
think most people would feel a lot less
anxiety in their life and getting things
done becomes an awful lot easier. So 5
days, it doesn't take that long. It's
doable. I've seen it. I've done it
myself within five. For me, it was about
3 days of applying this approach and it
it clicked. But I've never seen it take
longer than five days from the people
I've worked with when they follow the
protocol. Protocol is in my new book.
It's called after you don't show up. And
the idea in it is that you commit this
to doing this for 5 days. So effectively
the the method is called the incredible
method. It's about in storing
credibility getting into credibility.
Incredible. Right? So in the book this
is the approach. You do commit to
things. So you you commit to doing a
task, something that's important to you,
something that you've procrastinated on.
You set a time for it. You lock that in
and you watch whether you show up for
it. Now, if you show up for it, that's
great. But if you don't show up for it,
this is where the protocol clicks in. Uh
it comes in. What happens after that is
that if you didn't show up to do the
thing, you step away from it for the
remainder of the day. Okay?
No more scrambling. No more trying to
make up for it. No more trying to
negotiate with it. No more, well, I
didn't feel like it, but I will feel
like it soon. None of that. You step
away from it completely.
And that's really all you do with it.
Now, you can also go into reflection on,
okay, I wonder what what was really
going on there with with the fact that I
didn't show up. What were the real
reasons that aren't judgmental and
simplistic judgments of myself? I'm not
good enough. I'm not organized enough,
etc., etc. Now, what was the real reason
I didn't? Was I overwhelmed? Did I take
on too much? was I trying to be a
perfectionist etc etc but the bottom
line is you step away from it okay so
why only 5 days if I ask people to do
this for like 30 days or 90 days it's
too weird and too counterintuitive that
they won't even think of entertaining it
but if I enter if I invite people to try
that for 5 days they might actually do
it so let's walk through what this would
look like so let's say you got something
that's important to you okay I'm going
to commit to it today I didn't show up
for it okay now I got to step away from
Day one, you've got nothing. You haven't
done any work. And what you have is you
haven't made a series of promises and
broken them all, which erodess your self
trust, but you certainly have no work
done still. So, after day one of doing
this protocol that I'm advocating for
here, you're you're no more productive.
Day two, you make a commitment. Did I
show up for it? No. Step away from it.
The day is off now. I can go and do
something else, but I'm not doing that
task. Day two, no productivity.
Day three,
you may have the same experience. You
make the commitment to do the task. Now
to but what you have after 3 days, let's
say you step away from for the third
day, you've still got nothing done in
this task. You've made no practical
progress in it. But what you're learning
is that there's a couple of things. One
is you're reflecting on the real
reasons. And with that space of not
scrambling, making what I call reflex
promises. Well, not now, but it's soon.
Not here. Well, there. That's what I
call reflex promises after we don't show
up, which is the entire problem. But you
have more space now to reflect. You're
not scrambling. You're not negotiating.
You're actually looking at what's going
on here. Why am I making commitments to
myself and not actually following
through in it?
But the other thing that's happening too
is that you're realizing there's a kind
of a consequence for not showing up for
something.
Typically, we've been told or we've been
led to believe that you not doing the
task is the reward. You get to goof off
and play video games or whatever it is.
But the truth is you not doing the task
is actually a kind of a form of
punishment. I'm using the word
punishment there. It's a it's a
consequence, right? Because the truth is
you do want to do the task.
So, it's actually a little bit painful
to do this really. Day four, same
thing's happened again. The same thing
happens again. You commit to it. didn't
do it. But day five, I've never met
anyone that got to to day five
and didn't have this thing go ah okay my
commitments now actually are serious
when I either say I I either do it when
I say I will or there is no negotiating
around it. It's this constant
negotiating with ourselves that gets us
into trouble with this. Right? So if you
have if you've got 5 hours this weekend
listen to the audio book. The book is on
audio book now as well. All right, it's
on audible. You could take a hike. I
don't mean that in a bad way. Go take a
hike. Go take a walk and um listen to
the book. It's like 5 hours. And it'll
give you a completely counterintuitive
way of looking at this that you've never
heard before because it's a very
original way of looking at it. But
again, that's why I only ask for 5 days
because it's too weird to attempt to do
this for 30 days or 90 days. But the
good news is you don't have to because
it works within five. again and I've
done this with dozens of people
personally and there's always this aha
moment within that space and from that
point on once that thing lands and it
clicks it's like ah
it isn't a motivation problem it's a
selfrust problem I'm making fewer
promises but the ones that I am making I
am committing to and I'm honoring and if
not I know exactly what's going to
happen I'm going to step away from it so
you become far more knowledgeable about
what's really going on around these
broken promises
See, typically we think we know why
we're not honoring the promises. We
think we know it's because I'm not
organized enough. I'm not good enough.
I'm not disciplined. I'm not
trustworthy. I'm not a serious person.
None of that's true.
This is actually probably what's
happening is the exact opposite. You're
trying to be trustworthy. You're trying
to be motivated. You're trying to be
disciplined and have willpower. You're
trying to force yourself. You actually
care about it too much if anything. So
this will this is a protocol that you
can try and I can promise you
I can't promise you but I can almost
promise you that if you try this for the
five and you commit to it I'm doing this
for 5 days now in order to make that
promise yourself to try this you have to
be willing to have done nothing on that
task for 5 days. I think you will and
certainly beyond the 5 days you'll
relate to it completely differently. You
become way more consistent in it. But in
order to do it, you have to be willing
to say I might not do and I want to I'm
going to try my best but for 5 days I
might end up doing nothing in this.
Okay? So I wouldn't advise that you do
it if you have like a deadline for
something in 3 days time. Right? Try it
with something
that you have time to to learn this
method. Right? But you will relate to
yourself very very differently after you
do. It's not about trying harder. It's
about stepping away, reflecting,
having a boundary with yourself, no
longer choosing, no longer on some level
torturing ourselves with personal
productivity. You don't need to do any
of that. You can be perfectly productive
and consistent and learn to trust
yourself without bullying yourself or
coercing yourself. So, the links for the
book are below. There's also a group we
have on Tuesdays. I'd love to see you
there where we talk about this how to
develop selfrust in personal
productivity but in everything every way
you relate to yourself in life. So check
that out. The links are below. You can
contact me for onetoone work as well.
Links are there. And uh hope you find it
useful. If you are trying the method,
you're in the middle of it or you're
about to try it,
comments below. Love to see them.
Take care of yourself. Talk soon.
Bye-bye.