The 3 BIG SIGNS You're Going To Be Successful (SECRET TO GETTING RICH) | Ed Mylett

to you are perfect as you exist right now, but that version of you isn't sufficient next year. You got to be crazy hungry crisis to get to that next version of you. I want the data. I want the input. I want the information. I want the feedback to get to the next version of me regardless of how it emotionally makes me feel. I'm like driven by that. Without that information, why am I living? Walk me through your your baseball career ends. Um I know that your dad and you were now you said he's your best friend. best friend. Growing up alcoholic father Correct. You said I think you were 14 or 15. And then um they're introducing you constantly as the shy kid who plays baseball. Baseball falls away and now it's like how do you get out from under well, I'm the son of uh you know, somebody that struggled with drugs and alcohol. I'm uh the kid who was supposed to be great at baseball and now that's gone. Like how do you get out from under the weight of that? Yeah, it is weight, too. Um when I was small, um I was also really undersized. So one of the reasons I left weights, I was always the every baseball picture I'm the kid holding the sign in the front, right? So I was small and skinny. Uh they used to tease me Eddie Spaghetti, you know, and I'd get bullied at school and I never retaliated. So I had that mixed with shyness, mixed with chaos in my home, which many people can relate to. And I got to tell you that the shift for me, sports was good for me cuz it gave me an out that I finally found something that I was pretty good at. I think the biggest shift in our lives, the things that makes us the happiest is that when somebody helps us identify our natural giftedness. And when I was a little boy, well, I got a little bit older, they pointed out my speed. So it wasn't my lack of size. I was fast. I was the fast kid, right? I was wanted to be fast kid and I got confidence in baseball doing that. When I got into business, they said, "You know, you're intense." When someone points out a gift about you that you also kind of intuitively know to be true, they're linked to them. They say, "You're intense. You're passionate. You won't get outworked. You're relentless." I went, "I am those things." And when someone linked those gifts to me winning, now I believed I could win. That's the other way to change identity, is when someone can link your giftedness to the victory, you'll believe it. Not like you're great, that's general, that's But it's something you know specifically, like for you right now, you wouldn't brag about them. There's a few things you know, you know what, I am good at these things, right? I've always been good at these things, it's natural for me. And when someone links that to you winning, like for you, for example, you're an unbelievable interviewer. You have this general you you you don't need to be the smartest person in the room because you probably are most of the time. And so there's a confidence No, there's a confidence that allows you to be present when you interview me and just listen, that's different than anyone who's interviewed me before. And so that's a natural giftedness for you, which is why there's a part of you that kind of knows, I am pretty You wouldn't say it, but I am pretty good at this. This is a good program. And so the way we change our identity, the way I changed mine, was by getting in touch with what some of my natural gifts were and then using them in my career, using them in my life. That shifted the weight right off of me. Cuz the weight was, I suck, I'm shy, I'm small, I have a screwed up family. That's the weight, right? The lifting off of the weight is, these are some gifts God gave me, or the universe gave me, or that at least I know I have, and I can spend my life using these gifts. Now I've got hope. Now my identity's changing. Now my life takes a different direction. That's amazing. One thing that you have talked about, and this is I think the thing about your notions on identity that I find really incredible, is that in the early days of you building your business, you said, and I quote, I was a dick. Yeah. Um but you were open to hearing that. Most people can't hear that. So that's a moment where you accept that your identity is something that you're not proud of. Mhm. How do you make that change? How do you go in a new direction where somebody, instead of pointing out something beautiful, they're pointing out something ugly? Yeah. Aren't most of you the friends that you revere the most the most willing to take coaching from you? 100%. Me too. And so I I can't tell you why I'm this way, but I do believe it was baseball. I never took it personally when a coach said, "You're dropping your shoulder." And it was because of athletics when a guy said, "Spread your right leg out. Your legs are too close together." I never thought, "I suck. I can't hit." I wanted to know how to hit better. I wanted to know how to throw better. And so, for me personally, I'm constantly in a crisis to get to the next version of me. It's not like I'd like to. I wish I only would like to. I'd probably have a little bit more peace in my life. I am in a crisis to get the next version of me. And so, the guy sitting in front of you right now, if I come back in a year and I'm just the same exact person with the same thoughts, same ideas, same ways of delivering them, this was a wasted year of my life, right? So, I want to know how to get to that next version of me. And so, for those of you that struggle with taking criticism, uh you got to ask yourself, how important is it to you to grow? Cuz you were put on Earth to grow, to contribute, to serve, to help. You were in your way. And the current version of you is perfect as it stands right now, but it will be inferior next year. You're perfect as you are now, especially you ladies listening to this. There's all this messaging, "You're not this. You're not smart enough. Women are too dominant, then they're a diva, right?" Or, "You're not beautiful enough." Ladies, men you too, you are perfect as you exist right now, but that version of you isn't sufficient next year. You got to be crazy hungry crisis to get to that next version of you. I want the data. I want the input. I want the information. I want the feedback to get to the next version of me, regardless of how it emotionally makes me feel. I'm like driven by that. Without that information, why am I living? Dude. Right. That whole concept, like when people really ask how I've been able to be successful, it's that. It's I'm stoked on who I am today, 100%. Like I'll give myself the pat on the back before anybody else. But I'm so desperate to get better. Like I'm so hungry to know why I'm inadequate right now for what I want, right? Correct. the way that I sum it up is your past can never be bigger than your future. So, it's like once you've done something, right? I built a billion-dollar business, but like for me, I'm not looking at that. I want to know what do I need to do and become in order to hit that next thing? Great. That Not only are all the achievers doing that, but all happy people do that. In other words, here's how we know you're perfect now. You've produced the external life you have, so you are perfect for that life right now. You are all you need to be right now. But, if you want a different life, an improved life, a growing life, right? An increased life, this version of you is inferior to get to that place. And so, the reason we have rapport, the reason we like each other is like I also want to be surrounded by people who are not messaging me, is enough enough? Everything's good, man. Take a break and I may not want more money. You and I both have a lot of money, right? We probably like more, but that's not my driver. I want more peace, more gratitude, more abundance, more contribution, more memories, more experiences, more joy, more love. That will never be enough for me. Put me in the ground if I don't get any more of that stuff, right? I want to grow. I want to see the next place. And so, that's the journey. Those of you that have faith, if you believe there's this place you're going to someday, that's because you're always going someplace. So, you might as well want to get the information and the equipment to get there. And that's that's where I want to go. No, I love that. How do you keep your standards so high? And then, how do you push them even higher the next year? Uh I'm really lazy. So, if you left me I know. I know. And that's what I want to give you the honest one, like like left to my own devices, right? If you just left me like what I'd like to do, I hey, man. I I have no problem laying around. Um I like sleeping. Like I think people think they meet people like, you know, they're like they're robots, they're other life forms, they're just different than me. No, we build habits, rituals, and disciplines that serve us, okay? Now, part of those habits, rituals, and disciplines have sort of turned me into a more confident person. There's no question about that. So, my standards are mandatory cuz you get your standards, right? And so, the reason my standards are set so so high is because I don't want to leave it up to my own devices, right? My standard is one more minute on the treadmill. My standard is one more person I can reach that day. One more phone call. One more something. And so, for me, I raise them every single year, but the way I get to do it is I link it to my reasons. And so, goals are really empty to me. I have a thing on goal setting, but like my big thing is that you show me someone with compelling, emotional, gigantic reasons, I'll show you someone who's changing their standards all day long. So, like, give you one quick version that you not heard before. One of the reasons I'm relatively fit is not just peak state. I have an uncle in my family that died at 50 years old of a heart attack. He's my godfather, my dad's only brother. I kind of resembled him. And I look like him a lot. So, on the way back from his funeral, my reticular activator is on heart attacks. On the TV screen on the airplane, I'm listening to music is the Oprah Winfrey show. She's going through a new heart scan. I unplugged my headphones, plug it into the airplane one. They're talking about this new scan at Cedar-Sinai that at that time was new. It could read the plaques in your arteries, the calcifications without going, you know, really invasively. I scheduled it. I went in. I had a world-class doctor who understood reasons and leverages instead of just prescribing cuz when we coach people, you need to do this, you need to do this. Doctors do it. Take this pill. Take this. He understood leverage and reasons. What you do is you take the scan, then you go to lunch, you come back. I took the scan. I went to lunch. I had a burrito. I came back and I'm in the law When I walk in, I sit down. The doctor comes out and he says, "Oh my. I can't believe these arteries are in that young body." Got my attention. We walk back in, we sit down. He could still go, "You need Crestor. Eat clean. Get out of here." Isn't that what an average doctor does, right? No, wired me with huge reasons. He goes, "Let me ask you a question. I heard your wife's pregnant. Do you have a said, "Yeah, I have a son." And he says, "Do you want to be there when he graduates from high school? To be there for that day?" I said, "Yes, sir. Yeah." He goes, "Your wife's pregnant. What do you have?" And I said, "A daughter." This is where you get a dad. He goes, but she was 6 months pregnant. He goes, "Do you um Would you like to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day? Or are you okay that it's some other man?" I went, "What the is on this scan?" Right? Like And he goes, "I want to be very clear with you. If you keep going down the road you're going, there'll be some other man with your son at graduation high school, and a stranger's walking your daughter down the aisle." She's not even born yet on her wedding day. And I went, boom. And he goes, "But, if you do exactly what I tell you to do, you'll be there." And so, to this day, brother, there are mornings when I wake up, not every morning, I don't want to go to the gym, I go, "Bella's wedding. Bella's wedding. Bella's wedding." So, my standards are high because of my big old reasons. Other dudes may miss the gym that day cuz they're not going to miss their daughter's wedding if they don't go. But, I've convinced myself I will I get emotional. I've convinced myself I'll miss my daughter's wedding. So, I will get my ass out of bed at 4:00 in the morning, and I will get to that gym because my reasons are bigger, so my standards are higher. So, that's what I think causes us to have great standards is huge reasons. When you're working with people that are just at an elite level, how do you help them find those reasons and attach something to it? Mhm. So, there's two motivators in life if you really want to move somebody. Someone's childhood and their death. And then in between, other people. And so, most people, if you start talking to them, will tell you about their childhood because that impact. And they're constantly in the back of our minds all the time, we're thinking about death. It's this thing we know that's coming for us, the end of our life. And what inspires us is really what I said. We all want to be that version. We just don't allow ourselves to feel the emotion of it. So, the more you can bring it closer to you, the better. So, I do that with them. I link their big reasons to what they want, and it opens up a completely different level for what they want. You start talking to an athlete about, "Hey, you want to hit 30 home runs this year?" That's one thing. But, you start talking about, how'd you like to have your mom there when you give your Hall of Fame speech? I just interviewed T.O. and Marshall Faulk. Both Marshall's in the Hall of Fame and T.O.'s going in. And to watch T.O.'s face start to talk about how his grandmother won't be there who raised him in the Hall of Fame. That was his motivation. You ask him his whole motivation playing football, grandma. Not not Hall of Fame, not you know, Pro Bowls, grandma. It's always people that we link these achievements to. So, that's how I get them to believe it or not, even athletes. I get them talking to me about the people and dreams they have. Then we link their goals to them. That's amazing. Tell me about the time where you were trying to give a speech and you were so freaked out that your vision was blurring and you couldn't even read what was on your card. Because honestly, like if I hadn't heard you tell that story, I would just assume you're really good at this by nature because you're so good at this. Like you're so good at communicating. It's crazy. And I've seen you in front of like 50,000 people. It's bananas. Right. So, how did you start from like just absolutely being paralyzed by fear? Like what was that process? Oh my gosh. So, boy, you really do your research. Yeah, my first time I talked, I literally went up and blanked out. Like I literally could not think. I could not see the card. How I fixed it speaking was over time. But, I'll give you a couple of key things on speaking for everybody. One, I had to I had to figure out, you know what? Someone said to me cuz you love baseball. You don't stutter when you talk about baseball. You don't get insecure. I go, "Well, I love that and I believe in it." They're like, "Oh, you don't you know, you talk about your kids." You're great. I thought, "Oh, there's a correlation here between me actually saying what I believe and what I'm passionate about and my ability to communicate it. And so, that now my first layer is always I must be passionate about it and I must believe it and I'm never doing an impression of another person. So, I always come from a place of saying what I really believe cuz you can't transfer to somebody that what you don't experience yourself. I can give you passion. I can give you energy. I can give you my belief if I'm experiencing it. Big key as a speaker I'll give everybody. Stop trying to convince everybody of what you're saying. That's not the threshold of being a good communicator. People do not need to believe what you're saying. They need to believe you believe what you're saying. And as long as they believe you believe what you're saying, you're an effective speaker. I stopped trying to get people to believe me. There's a neediness. There's a salesmanship to that. I stopped that. It's a subtle difference. I just want you to believe I believe it. That's influence. Influence is you believe I believe it. Wow. Yeah, that's uh that that's a pretty intense evolution for or just that. One moment that I'd really love to get some color on and maybe this just comes down to what your reasons were. After that first attempt, which had to have like just been searing into your mind anxiety about speaking. Horrific. How'd you get up the second time? Yeah, same room, same people. That helped for me. Um but I figured out I didn't uh have any preparation. So, my confidence when I speak now, just like this interview. The amount of preparation you've done for this is it is more than anyone who's interviewed me, right? And so, me the separation is in the preparation. Like I have to be prepared. I have to know what I'm going to talk about. And so, that second time I I knew every single thing I was going to say. I didn't do great, but I did what I said I was going to do. I got up and I did it. I got up and I delivered. And I'll just be candid with you. I liked the feeling eventually that I affected somebody. I liked the feeling that you know, maybe the first time I spoke I I didn't affect anybody. That second time maybe there were 40 people and maybe one person I helped. And I had this very weird capacity now to focus on the ones I help. I I actually focus if I speak to 50,000 people, there's got to be 3,000 people there who think I suck. There has to be. There's at least 30, right? There's someone there that And if I obsessed over those 30 people, that's what made me nervous. I was obsessed with just basically reaching somebody. So, the irony was the beginning of my speaking career, it was my anxiety and fear of it that was what was inspiring about me, not the words I said. Over time, I think the words became more inspiring, but I found what was inspiring about me. What put them in spirit, and it was overcoming my anxiety and fear of actually doing what they saw. I I was at the gym yesterday, and a woman drove by me in a wheelchair at the gym. I was working out pretty hard, and she wheeled by me, heavy set lady in a wheelchair. I can be honest with you, I I watched her wheel past me. She inspired me. Do you know what courage it takes to get in your wheelchair and decide, "I'm going to go to the gym." Right? I'm going to go to the gym. She's heavy set, awkward. That inspired me far more than the jacked-up dude doing 60-lb curls. I mean, that's inspiring, but you see that. A woman in a wheelchair at the gym with her 2-lb dumbbells, cuz her legs don't work, but she went in there anyway. And you know how insecure she was about going in there. She's the only person in a wheelchair. She doesn't know what she's going to see, how people are going to react to her. She's not in shape. She's never full makeup on in her little, you know, halter top like the other girls in there. And she's right in there. She was right in there working out right next to them, right? I couldn't take my eyes off her. I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I ended up telling her as she was leaving. I left what I was doing, I walked over. I said, "I just want you to know something, you're inspiring me. This is wonderful." Her face just lit up, cuz you know how sad she how insecure she was about being in there. Most inspiring person is the one overcoming the fear of doing something, not the person who's excellent at it. So. Yeah, dude, I love that. Way, way love that. Um this is a little bit different, but something you were saying a minute ago reminded me of your whole notion of you've got to step into the dream, you've got to touch the dream. Um I love that. I think that's so powerful, and so very Dude, I was so moved by your whole pointing at the cliff with your then girlfriend, now wife, and saying like, "One day we're going to live there." Because my wife and I used to drive around this neighborhood and say like one day and dude I have the chills again when you said your obsessions become your possessions like that is literally like that thing you really think about and focus on. What do you mean by stepping into the dream and how how can it serve people? That's wonderful. By the way, you picked a really good place to step into. Thank you. Um I got to tell you that um your mind gravitates towards which it is most familiar with. And so um if you're really familiar with what you're worried about and what your problems are and your fears are and that becomes your dominating thinking. I know you've all heard this but here's the reason why. Your mind loves what's familiar. Okay. And so if you don't go touch dreams for example, just experience it for a second. For example, we would go down once every 8 weeks if I did well in business we really knocked it out we could find a deal. I had 200 bucks we'd go to the Ritz-Carlton or some hotel ocean and for one day ocean front feel like what it felt like to valet your car. Yeah. Right? Walk in the lobby. Mr. Mylett, welcome back. Right? She'd go get a massage. I'd play a little bit of golf and just for that day I'd touch the dream. And then maybe we do it again in a month or two and again in a month. Just little tastes of it. My mind began to begin to become familiar with it and more crazy I started to kind of trick myself into thinking I belonged there. Because we never end up anywhere we don't believe we don't belong and then we're not familiar with. So there's these things you'd like to do in your life either visually seeing them over and over again and repeating those images to yourself. That's powerful but a double whammy is to not only repeat them and see them but to go touch See, there's one thing that's a visual stimulus in your brain that makes you want to do something. The triple whammy is if you could see it, touch it, feel it, and smell it. If you allow all your senses to experience something, it becomes far more familiar to your brain. And so I'm a massive massive advocate of touching a dream in any form you can get it the best of which is actually going and experiencing it short-term. If you believe begin to believe you belong there, you're a little bit better. And so I you will not probably produce many things in your life that you've not visited either mentally or literally thousands of times. And so, if you want to end up somewhere, you better be visiting them. Those could be dreams, visions, but the most important thing is if you could actually more powerful you go touch them short-term, massive difference. Drive by the neighborhood, see the cars. If you want to spend your life in service for your church or your community, take a day out every month and actually do it. Know what it feels like for an afternoon to feed the homeless or do and you begin to love it and feel it and believe you belong there, more and more chance that you'll be able to do that full-time someday. So, if the one is bringing this new way of thinking, if the person that thinks they are the most disqualified is able to channel that and make somebody's life better, how do they turn that into like something concrete that they can articulate? How do they turn it into a habit? Like what is that process of going from, you know, Neo waking up and realizing that he can do something to actually dodging bullets? I think one of the things is the way that we approach time. This is something that almost no one talks about anymore. So, I feel like you may be behind. You may actually be behind your destiny right now. Like maybe you're not on pace. In fact, I think most people watching this, listening will say, "I am behind on achieving my destiny. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I feel like it's slipping. I feel like I'm behind." So, you better figure out time differently. And you can bend and manipulate time to your advantage. The most stupid, antiquated, ridiculous concept on planet Earth today very very well may be that a day is 24 hours. It's so stupid. It's the dumbest thing ever. 24-hour days were contrived when there were no cars. There was no electricity. If I wanted to get you a message, I had to write something down if I could, send it on a horseback, hope you get it. That's insane. Never mind the internet. So, what used to take hours, days, weeks, months, years to do can be done now in a millisecond in the internet or on our smartphones. Yet, we measure the time the same way that guy did? That's bananas. That is so stupid. Yet, everybody does it. And so, I about 25 years ago went, "I'm not the most talented. I'm not the smartest." And I'm really not. And you've had guests on your show with IQs maybe 100 points higher than mine. This is the truth. I know a couple of them. I had them on my show. How in the world, I don't come from, you know, a whole track record of success, right? I don't have the perfect upbringing. How in the world am I going to win? I got to do things other people aren't willing to do, which I'm doing. That's the one mores. And I got to fix the way I look at time. What would I need to believe about time? What would I need to believe? What would the question be? And so, my days now are from 6:00 a.m. to noon. That's a day. It's 6 hours. And in that day, some days you just chill. But in that day, I'm going to get the amount of productivity, faith, working out, fitness, money, business, you name it in that day. We've all had a morning where we go, "I got more done this morning than I have in weeks." Well, why can't you do that every morning? So, I measure time. I've compressed and condensed time. I've bent it. What is up, my friend? Tom Bilyeu here, and I have a big question to ask you. How would you rate your level of personal discipline on a scale of 1 to 10? If your answer is anything less than a 10, I've got something cool for you. And let me tell you right now, discipline, by its very nature, means compelling yourself to do difficult things that are stressful, boring, which is what kills most people, or possibly scary or even painful. Now, here is the thing. Achieving huge goals and stretching to reach your potential requires you to do those challenging, stressful things and to stick with them even when it gets boring, and it will get boring. Building your levels of personal discipline is not easy, but let me tell you, it pays off. In fact, I will tell you, you're never going to achieve anything meaningful unless you develop discipline. All right, I've just released a class from Impact Theory University called how to build ironclad discipline that teaches you the process of building yourself up in this area so that you can push yourself to do the hard things that greatness is going to require of you. All right, click the link on the screen, register for this class right now, and let's get to work. I will see you inside this workshop from Impact Theory University. Until then, my friends, be legendary. Peace out. My day is 6:00 a.m. to noon, and I'm not crazy. You're crazy for thinking it takes 24 hours, just like some dude in a cave did 300 years ago. That's bananas that you still think that way, and it's unfair that people have taught you this. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. That's day two. But, what the cool thing is at the end of day one, this clock goes off about noon every day, bro, and goes, "What did I just get done? What didn't I do? What do I need to be accountable for? What do I need to double my efforts?" Just like you do at the end of most days, right? And then the next day is 6:00 p.m. to midnight. And some of those are just fun days. Some days I chill, right? But, some days they're really super productive. What I've done now is I have changed and manipulated time. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, I'm going to kick your butt. Stack it up over a year, you're toast. Stack it up over 5 years, my entire life is different than it would have been otherwise. And if you do this for about 90 of your traditional days that you think are, you will come back to me and go, "That profoundly impacted my life." And here's the other thing that happens. The world responds to you differently when you value your time like that. What is precious is valuable. That's why a diamond or this watch is way more expensive than the piece of paper that's written down there, because it's more scarce. When your time, when you interact with the world is slightly more scarce, they respond to you as if you're more valuable. So, you get more accountability, more more productivity, more fun, more joy, and the world flips its response to you. All of a sudden, you become more valuable and precious to people when your time is different. And you'll get thousands more days in your life and live a much more blissful and happy life than the person only gets 24 hours. Yeah, so this is a concept that I really hope people take seriously. So, I'm often asked like how frequently I evaluate my progress, and I'm like, "Well, it's probably about every 3 hours." And I think people are surprised to hear that it's not daily, it's not weekly, certainly not monthly or yearly. It's like I'm constantly okay, was I productive in this period of time? Yes. In In the book, you reference it if I remember correctly as like squeezing the air out of all those gaps where most people like, okay, if you know, if I get this done in my day, then I'm fine. And if you took that and made your day those 6 hours, suddenly it's like, okay, I need to be really efficient. you could hook that day, Tom, and then combine it with the power of doing one more that mindset and then chasing inconvenient things on top of it in those days? And on top of that, sprinkle a little self-love to make sure that you don't burn out. Self-love, little reticular activating system where we're doing repeated visualizations, where we're finding the things in those days that we need to be able to find. Uh-oh. You may just change your life. You know, I know exactly what happens and you liken this to Kobe Bryant. And walk people through like So, what Tim Grover has said about like his work ethic and extra practices and stuff cuz it's like, I don't know how many times the successful people have to say the same things Yeah. to get like, oh, okay, cool, I get where this is going. You know, one really simple thing is this, you need to get in a bigger hurry. If I could just distill it down to something simple, you need to get in a bigger hurry. You're too casual, you're too slow, you walk too slow, you talk too slow, you think in terms of so too much time, and if you would just speed up the pace, man, like you know this, when you're around someone like Kobe or Grover or you or anyone that kind of vibrates at a frequency that feels like success energy, it's faster. They don't have to talk faster, many of our most favorite people talk much slower than you and I do, but they're just in a little bit of a bigger hurry. I'll give you a Kobe thing that's not in the book though that just for me and you and everyone gets to listen. Kobe was scheduled to do my show 6 days after he passed. Oh, god. And deeper than that, I was with Kobe the week before he passed away. Let me tell you the story about this cuz I think it's pretty profound about the one mores. Bit of a volleyball tournament, our daughters played volleyball together. And um it's if you have a kid who plays volleyball, you all are going, "Yep, I get what that is." These are long days and noisy days. So, this thing starts about 8:00 a.m. All the dads are there. The last match was 10:00 p.m. Oh god. Yeah. Yeah, dude. And I'm the last dad in there except this other guy in a black sweatsuit with white stripes on it. And he's about 6'6". And it's Kobe. And we've been around each other many times at these tournaments. We're the last of the two dads left. And so, the tournament ends. His match was on a different end of the court than my daughter's was. Something happened. I have no idea why I did this, brother. I watched him this day. And uh I was on the other end and I watched him. He had his baby in his left arm, his little one. And he's rubbing the back of his daughter that was playing. And literally, I went, "I don't hug Bella enough." How affectionate he is. It just stood out to me. And because it stood out to me, his outward affection, I watched him, bro. And I watched Kobe walk out of the gym that day with this baby and his arm around his other one. And I watched him walk out. And he obviously stood out cuz he was so tall. And I can picture him right now, Tom, walking out of that door for the last time. Six days later, he died. And I wonder See, if you want to know the power of one more, it's when I take it from you and you can't have it anymore. I wonder if someone were to whisper, "Kobe, one more day." when he got in the car that day. Six more days. How would that week maybe have been different for him? What would he have said? Who would he have loved? Who would he have reached out to? What would have mattered to him? About the Saturday before. "Kobe, one more day." He's getting on that helicopter. "Kobe, one more hour." See, it hits us when I say that. And there's a whisper happening that you can't hear. Tom. Eight more years. 18 more Whatever it is, there's a whisper. We forget. We're going to die. Napoleon Hill says, begin with the end in mind. What if you did that with your life? What if you began with the end of your life in mind and worked it backwards? Bro, my favorite thing in the world was to golf with my dad. My favorite thing, man. We're both no good at golf. It was my hero in a golf cart with me for 5 hours a foot away. And the conversations. Watch my dad walk a car. Do you know what I would do, bro, for one more round of golf with my dad? One more time. Hey Dad, good putt. Yeah, that was a good one, wasn't it, Eddie? Put his arm on me. High five. You know what I would do for that? What would you How would you act if you started to think about all the elements of your life like Kobe's last 6 days? Kobe's one more day. Kobe's one more hour. Me getting that back with my dad. What if you started to look at the relationships you have in your life like it was the last time you had conversation with them. The last time you get to hold Lisa's hand and She just looked at her eyes. right? Right? But how much more precious does she become? Maybe it's the last podcast, the last interview. How much more precious would it be? How much more engaged as we is engaged as we are? That next meeting, that conversation with Is it Gerson over here, right? The conversation with him, man. See, when we begin to distill down and we realize, yeah, there's a power to one more because they're not promised how many we have. And so that day with Kobe just it just burned it into my soul, man, when I watched him and then to see 6 days later he was gone. That time with his family was so precious and so I would just challenge everybody. If you want to know the power of one more, it's when I take it from you. And there's a power and there's a blessing that you get one more in your life. You're going to get another chance to talk to Lisa. You're going to get another great dinner with her. You're going to get another show. Those listeners have another day to change their life. They have another opportunity to do one more. They have another opportunity to make their family proud of them. They still have more time. They don't just have one more day probably to be the one in their family. Life is beautiful. It's precious. And sometimes we only have an appreciation for it in its absence. Sometimes we only have an appreciation for the power of the one mores or the people in our lives when we imagine their absence. And so I would just ask everybody to consider that. The thing about work is that um I think you should enjoy your work. I think there's a part of that, but I think it's I agree aggressively with that. Yeah, I think it's this notion that everything is separate. What do you mean? Well, like I think people ask me all the time about, well, you know, I feel like, man, if I'm crushing it at work, that uh I'm not going to be as good a dad. Or if I'm really a great dad, my body's going to suffer. And there's this limited scarcity idea that somehow that there's a finite amount of it to have. I just don't buy into that at all. In fact, I've found in my life that when I'm crushing it at work, man, I'm a lot better in the gym. When I'm crushing in the gym or work, I'm a better dad. I come home pumped. I come home engaged. I come home excited. I'm not saying there's not fatigue. But when I'm not crushing it at work, what am I not bringing to bear in my family in terms of energy, ideas, my vibrational frequency, my ability to give out information and love? I'm cheating my family when I'm not working. And conversely, I think I rob my work when I'm not engaged with my family. People ask me, "Well, what has changed in you?" I was a little bit more of an angry, intense dude before I had kids. And for me, in my case, having children caused me to pause in the way I speak to people. Sometimes I'm ashamed when I was younger of ways I spoke to people if someone talked to my son or daughter the way that I used to talk to people. So, me crushing it as a dad has made me a better businessman. Me crushing it as business has certain Driving out here, my my daughter said to me, driving out here, she goes, "Daddy, I'm taking the real estate exam today." She's 18, she's going to college. "I'm taking the real estate exam today and the life insurance exam on Monday." And I'm thinking that's wonderful. Plus, she's got finals for school, right? But, what impressed me about that was that, hey, that means my work has transferred over into me as a father. So, these things are interconnected in life. When you decide not to work and you think that's going to make you better at home or better in other areas of your life, you're absolutely wrong. You're a whole person, and growing the wholeness of you matters. And that's why there's such value in work. Work meaning Work is not always just labor. Work is expansion of oneself, and that's why you're robbing yourself. Yeah, and I also think there's something to just taking a cynical eye to the world and feeling like, "Oh, if I'm really giving my everything, then somebody is taking advantage of me." My thing is like if I were working for somebody else, Mhm. when In fact, when I did work for somebody else in my early 20s, I was completely cynical. I was like, "Oh, I'm being taken advantage of and like this is terrible. I'm not getting paid what I'm owed." Mhm. And then I discovered work ethic and how far I could push myself, and I discovered one immutable truth. I could get so good that people would be terrified to lose me. There you go. And in fact, Kobe has a quote that's even better, which is booze don't block dunks. You can get so good people can't stop you. The greatest players in the world, in fact, scouts were paid an obscene amount of money to go around the entire globe to find people that they could pay millions of dollars to to stop Kobe Bryant from scoring a basket during a game, and despite the best athletes on planet Earth getting paid millions of dollars to stop him, he once scored 81 points in a single game. Yeah, that's And so, my thing is Like, who are you pushing back on? You can get so good at something people can't stop you. I tell my kids all the time, I say greatness rises. Greatness is eventually found. I've a I won't to who it is, but I have a relative who's like, "Hey, the coach is discriminating against me, man. He's got he really favors these other guys." And I said to him the other day, I go, "No, he's not." He's not. Greatness rises. He wants to win basketball games, or he wants to win baseball games, or he wants to win this. The fact of the matter is, get great at something. There's such a there's such a wonderful feeling of being great at what one does. Yes. That if I I would have a terrible way it would be to get through this Earth, have your whole journey through this Earth and never get great, never get great at what you're capable of being great at. And I would encourage everybody to pursue that. That's why they listen to your show, watch your show. It's why they listen to mine. It's why they read our books. Because this pursuit of greatness. We do we have started to create a culture that I think has an ill-gotten eye towards success, towards progress. And maybe some of that's earned, you know, maybe some of the examples in the world about what financial success looks like hasn't been the most elegant or beautiful examples of it. But the fact of the matter is that my experience with successful people, whether that's financial or not, I believe successful people in their work are happier people, just overall. Whether that's my sister who's a school People ask me one time, "Who's one of the most successful people you know?" My sister. Because I think success is that when your external life matches your vision for it. Whatever that is. You have a vision for your life and you produce it. My sister is blind. That's right. She was born a diabetic, right? born a diabetic. You're so You're so connected. And she's a school teacher. Christian school teacher. She's amazing at it. Why? She's in the service of other people. That's the blueprint for her life, and she's using her giftedness in the service of these people. She's kind. She's a great teacher. She's patient. She's 4'11". She's the same height as the students. Wow. See, her giftedness is just perfect for what she does. She's so successful. with cuz I have to imagine students use the blindness to mess around or whatever. She knows they're doing it. That could be It would be very easy to feel victimized. How does she deal with that? Well, and cuz By the way, my sister can see some things. She can She just can't drive. She can't She She She She sees shadows and whatnot, too. Um my sister, though, and and here's the other thing. Imagine being able that you used to be able to see and you've lost it. Like it's one thing to be born blind. It's another thing that you had sight. I mean, if like an average person just You've been able to see and you close your eyes even for 10 minutes and be able to imagine not able to see. It's a really traumatic experience. What my sister does that's really interesting, she uses humor really, really well. So, she takes it from you before you can give it to her. And when someone is self-deprecating, self-deprecation is a great form to diffuse hate, to diffuse pain. And so, she's learned to really use humor about it and almost poke fun at herself to where the students don't do that. And you do it very well, by the way. You're self-deprecating all the time. Be easy for you to kind of you know, your homes, your success, your show, your wealth, your intellect is extremely high. You are a very self-deprecating dude, so that it allows you to navigate and operate without the resistance that you would get if you didn't have it. And so, a lot of you that are receiving that, you know, self-deprecation is something to look into. Just poke fun at yourself. Take yourself lightly. Don't take yourself too seriously. It's how I avoided getting beaten up as a kid. I believe it. Yeah. I believe it. That was humor was my best defense. I can see that. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. So, all right. So, you can get so good at something, you could push yourself. You want your outside life to match the internal vision. I want to in the book you go into like how people can build these habits so that they can get that life. There are people watching right now, they have the dream, but they don't know how to get that life. Like, what what are the secret things that you do to actually build the skill set you need to achieve? The skill set stuff is habitual. So, there's a bunch of things I talk about in the book, but I think one thing that I just really believe that when you have a worth level or a confidence level that you can achieve something, you're far more resilient than when you don't have that. There's all these tools on confidence that everybody teaches, right? But I had a really profound experience when I was young that changed my life and and and it I've never linked my ability to build a habit or my confidence to my skill. Just stay with me, even though I built great skills. I won a contest in Hawaii. I'm 28. I'm running down the beach in Maui. Running the other way and that Here's why you get rewarded for getting up before the sun. Running the other way is this bald kind of guy I can see he's got a hairy back. He's sweating. He's running towards me. And he's wearing a Sony Walkman. I'm wearing one, too. That's how long ago it was. So we're listening to cassette tapes while we're running, right? And so he runs by me and it's Dr. Wayne Dyer. Whoa. Who's a hero of mine. And I said, "Dr. Dyer, you changed my life." And he turns around He has a deep voice like I do. He goes, "Well, I highly doubt that." He goes, "I'm sure you changed your life, but what did I do to help you?" And he walks towards me and we sit down on this beach together. Whoa. And for 90 minutes I watch the sun come up with Wayne Dyer. And he gets to know me and he's pouring into me. And at the end he goes, "Ed, you're going to change the world." How old are you at this point? 28. Wow. He probably said this to some other people, right? And he goes, "I just think you're brilliant the way you can articulate your thoughts, your viewpoint on personal development and changing oneself, your experience with your dad. You're going to change the world." And he goes, "And that's not why." And he goes, "It'll be very dangerous for you to attach yourself to your abilities the rest of your life." Whoa. And I said, "I don't understand. Like if I can't close or persuade, I can't close a sale. If I you No, no, no, I want you to have all those things. But if you would attach your identity, your worth to the external, it's fleeting. That's why so many pro athletes when their career is over, they don't know who they are. And I said, "Well, then what do I do?" And he goes, "What's beautiful about you, Ed, is your intentions." You have beautiful intent. And I knew that about myself. It was my intentions. And what I didn't know is that he was writing a book at the time called The Power of Intentions. And he goes, "Would you please, please, cuz you you you have the talents, would you please attach your confidence and your worth and your identity to your intention? When you walk into a stressful environment, remind yourself that you intend to serve, you intend to give, cuz you may lack the ability sometimes that you may lack the answer sometimes, but you'll never lack the intent. And that intent will put you in a state where you can find the answers. Brother, all my life, most of my confidence has come from driving here today. I just intend to help people. I intend to make a difference. I don't like that I don't need to be here, I'm rich already. Forget all that stuff. My intentions are to help people forgetting my current status one way or the other. And so, I would recommend everybody to take a real look inside you. What are your intentions? Your intentions to make a difference? Your intentions to love people? Your intentions to serve people? Is your intent to serve your family? Is your intent to make a difference? If that's the foundation for your worth and your self-confidence, you'll never have to chase it again. If it's something aside from your skill, I got to get a talent, I got to get a degree, this, you'll be chasing it all of your life. Now, having said that, I have a chapter on habits and how to develop them and how to create a trigger and how to create the the the behavior and then have a reward when you do it. So, habits are created by triggers, then there's the behavior, then there's the reward, and I talk about how to build those habits. But all of that is is really not very productive if you don't have some internal knowing that you deserve to be successful, that there's a worth to you that a confidence that exudes from you. And I don't think that's where my sister and I are that dissimilar. Externally, we're very different people, right? Different careers, different paths, but I think my sister, maybe it's even unconscious, doesn't even do it intentionally, no pun intended, she knows she intends to serve those precious children every single day. So, she walks in there with a confidence that's bigger than her lack of vision, her lack of being able to see. And I think these students sense this beautiful intent on this woman, and because she's self-deprecating, she has this overwhelming intent to serve. There's not a lot of backlash or poking fun at her. And I In my life, I haven't had a lot of that, to be honest with you. I've had far less resistance from other people because I carry my intent with me everywhere I go. Talk to me about state change. So, you mentioned like you going into a stressful event, remind yourself that you're there to serve, and it it does switch something pretty profoundly. Mhm. What is a state change? How do you do it? Why does it matter? State change is the definition of what I do. So, what I do is when I'm in a good state, when I'm in that moving state, when I'm training and working out, or I've crushed a podcast, or I've crushed a show, I create a physical anchor. So, I link the emotional state to the anchor. Emotional state to the anchor. Could be you could tug on your shirt, you could pull on your right ear, you can snap your You've noticed probably 20 times through this interview I snap my fingers. I associate you with the finger snap more than you could ever possibly imagine. And so, for me, that's the juice. And so, when you get to a peak state, link it to something physical. The more repetitive it is and the higher the emotional state. That's why, for example, you have them in reverse. If you've ever walked into a room where something bad's happened, or hear a song or something, it immediately creates a trigger for you because the emotional experience was so high. First time you did the naughty naughty thing. If there was a song playing, and that song comes back on, you go right back to that place, don't you? So, there's an emotional heightened state, and then something physical that happens. And so, in my case, when it's going really good and I'm pumped and everything's great, I link it. I link it. I link it. I link it. And so, now, then you can reverse it back where that trigger creates that state. This is really not that complicated. I go into it in the book. It's amazing to me that we all have all these unconscious triggers in our life, whether it is a song or a room or a person or a memory or a whatever, and yet we don't ever take control of them. We know they happen because they happen to us all the time. So, all I've done in my life is just say, "Okay, if that's the case, I'm going to create a few that serve me." And by the way, the ones that You can already hear my energy just went up. The reason it serves me is it can override the negative state. It's my pathway out of the dark space. It's my pathway out of fatigue. It's my pathway out of confusion. It's my pathway out of not knowing the answer to something. I all of a sudden become a heck of a lot more resilient when I'm in that state. And I've got like four or five of them. I just did another one of them, right? But I've got four or five physical things I do that I've linked. If you're an athlete, when you make a big putt, link it. You make a big putt, link it. You make a big putt, link it. When you're in meditation, even in meditation when you've emptied your mind, if you can just create a trigger that can take you back there, then you don't need to be legs crossed, quiet, every time to feel that feeling. It's one of the things not talked about in meditation cuz we're supposed to empty our mind. When we're done and the mind is no longer empty, just create a physical trigger. Just You ever have someone in your life just when they touch you, you feel Lisa touches you, you feel different. Lisa is a trigger for you. No doubt. Of comfort, of confidence, of whatever, ecstasy, whatever it is. So, these things are around us all the time. How about we start to take control of them? How about we start to be, no pun intended, intentional about them? So, heightened state, physical trigger. Heightened state, physical trigger. Do it repeatedly and you're going to find yourself a different person when you need to change your state. I'm going to repeat that. You're going to find yourself a different person when you need to change your state. That's the the thing about state change for me is I don't feel like the same person. Like if I get into a negative space, I feel weak and unsettled. And then I can literally, I will one of my sort of internal triggers that I use is the phrase remember who you are. There you go. And just saying that to myself, I'm like, that's right. Remember who you are. There was this incredible 90s cartoon, Batman cartoon, and there's this episode, I love this, I think about it all the time, where Bruce Wayne gets put in like an internment camp, basically, and he can't get out. And then he he has amnesia. And then one moment, I forget what happens, but he remembers that he's Batman. Nothing changes. Love it. He just remembers that he's Batman and all of a sudden he can escape. And I was like, God, you have to That's a state change. That's a state change. Just remembering who I am. Who you really are. And here's why that's important. Let me throw something out here I think you'll agree with. That's who you truly are. But all of us are different people in different times, in different circumstances. And so it's a matter of pulling This sounds hokey, but it's about pulling the most powerful, resourceful version of you out. I'm a very different person. There's There's like 30 Ed Myletts. There's the Ed Mylett when I'm really down and I wake up in the morning and I'm I got anxiety first thing I wake up. There's the Ed Mylett when I'm with my kids. There's the Ed Mylett when I'm on a stage. There's the Ed Mylett when I'm doing this. There's the guy driving in the car. You all have these different versions of you and you know that you do. So, the question is when the one shows up who doesn't serve you, can you bring out the one that you really are? And so it's this notion that this is who I am. Really? You're the same person all the time? You're the same emotions all the time? The same thoughts all the time? The same energy all the time? Of course you don't. There's many versions of you. Someone like Kobe Bryant, when the world was melting and he's going to Colorado in his trial and he's He somehow could find a way to get on that court on a Wednesday night in the middle of all that turmoil and the Black Mamba shows up. Mhm. And all the people we admire in our lives, if you really think about it, when all the pressure's on, they find a way to step forward with the best possible version of who they are. And that's what separates them. It's not that they don't have the weaker versions, the lesser versions, it's that they can pull the right one forward when they need them because they've either created the tools Athletes do it very naturally. Tom Brady, "LET'S EFFING GO!" WHY DOES HE SAY THIS OUT LOUD? IT'S LIKE RIDICULOUS, RIGHT? Peyton Manning, "Omaha!" These are triggers They They might be inaudible, but it's also a trigger that creates a state where he's scanning the defense and now he's more resourceful as RES kicks in and he's finding the hole, the linebackers coming this way, that's where the open receiver is going to be in the slot. This is what they're great at doing. I just had a fighter of mine this last weekend get in a one of the fights and I have a chapter in the book called equanimity, which is calmness under duress. It's a really under-discussed topic in life. And usually when he's in these fights where things start to really happen and he's getting hit, things speed up for him and he starts going into the slugfest mode and ultimately loses. We talked about equanimity that the best version of So, he found his trigger, he stepped back, he went into a matrix time, things slowed down and then he ended up kicking a dude in the head with one of the greatest knockouts in the history of the UFC this weekend in the same conditions that he's lost other fights in. So, he pulled the best calm equanimity version of him forward under duress as opposed to the scattered frail one. And that's how it is in business, in life, in parenting, and in our day-to-day existence. The power of one more? That's right, brother. It's really incredible what you've done to your mindset. Mhm. And the thing that really I have the chills just thinking about asking this question. There's a Malcolm X quote that you really like. Tell me what it is and why it's so powerful. That which you do not hate, you will eventually tolerate. And I think that identifies most people's lives. In other words, they average becomes sort of like this slowest fixation. It's almost like an anesthetic and that over time we become kind of immune and dulled to the average that we're becoming. I know this is true at least for me. You probably experience it yourself, too. And so, over time we sort of minimize where we're at. In other words, I'm a little pudgy instead of being no, you're fat ass, right? You know, you don't magnify the degree to which the pain ought to be affecting you. And so, really what he means in that is listen, you're going to get out of your life what you'll accept. That's really difficult for people I think to understand is look, what you think you're worth and what you're going to tolerate is absolutely what you're going to bring into your life and what the outward part of your life is going to look like. And so, I live by that. Like I let myself sort of feel the pain and the difficulty of being not where I want to be in whatever that area is, whether it be my spirituality, my relationships, my money. I let myself feel that pain cuz as you know, there's two motivators, right? There's the gaining of pleasure, right? Wanting to go get something, chasing the dream, but then there's the avoidance of pain. And for a lot of champions, that's a pretty big driving force for them. And so, at least for me, I I leverage both of those things on me to get myself to take action. So, that's what that means to me. You've got the the whole concept of blissfully dissatisfied, which I think is brilliant. Thank you. Walk people through what that is, but but what I really want to know is how do you keep that from breaking you? Mhm. Wow, what a That's No one's asked me that before. It's It's along the same vein, really, as getting what you'll tolerate. So, there's this misnomer, and you've watched this even in your own life or the successful people you've interviewed. So, there's this thing people think that like, I'll be happy when once I get like this big amazing home or once I get this car or once I get this relationship or an amount of money, then I'll allow myself some happiness. The problem is the the finish line always moves. You never arrive there, right? The other part is people think, well, if I enjoy myself now, I'm going to lose my drive. In other words, if I can just wire myself with enough pain all the time, I won't lose my drive or ambition. The truth is there's no correlation between the two at all. There's no relationship between you feeling complete pain all the time and losing drive. And so, I talk about living in a state of blissful dissatisfaction. And really, the best example of that would be like if you've ever I love a good meal, right? You know, if I bite into a great piece of steak, if you're a steak eater like I am, you take that first bite, it's like complete bliss, right? There's no correlation between how great that tasted and your lack of desire for the next bite. In fact, that bliss causes you to want more of it. And so, the more we can be into a reward ourselves with bliss, we're not going to lose our dissatisfaction. We're not going to We're not going to lose that. And so, for me, our brains, this dopamine hit you get when you do something successful, if you constantly cheat yourself out of that hit, right, biomechanically in your body, less and less in the future will you want to achieve the next level, the next dream, the next step. And that's why so many people stall out in life. They didn't They got to a certain point and they cheated themselves out of the bliss, out of the celebration. It's important that we celebrate our wins, we celebrate our lives because it causes us to want the next bite. It keeps us hungrier, not the reverse. And so, for me, I want to live in a state of being grateful and blissful now, not waiting for some future place or date that may never arrive. So, that's what it means for me. Yeah, now, that That concept to me is really powerful and I talk a lot about So, 80/20, right? I spend 80% of my time thinking about the things that are amazing in my life that I'm grateful for, the beautiful things that I want to build and create, but I also spend 20% of my time kicking myself in the ass because otherwise you get really stagnant. But, the feedback that I get from people is they end up going down a dark path. Like, how do you help people not begin to erode their self-confidence? Mhm. And And maybe the right place to start with that is Where does self-confidence come from? Right, which is important because there's no relationship between that and eroding your self-confidence. In other words, self-confidence is really self-trust. So, the first thing is the people I know that are really happy are very self-aware. In fact, the best entrepreneurs I know are very self-aware. They're aware of their shortcomings, right? They want to improve them. They want to get to the next version of themselves all the time. And so, for me, self-confidence comes because I didn't have it. And I think anytime you meet somebody like yourself or myself who might now appear self-confident, it's because I really had to find tools and resources because I was so insecure and shy and introverted. So, I had to find techniques and resources to build that up in me. And for me, it's very simple. It's the promises that I keep to myself. If I have a habit over and over beginning to stack one on top of the other of keeping promises I make to me, not other people. In other words, the minute you begin to get external in your life worrying about what other people think about you, right? You've you've lost all control. You And it And it never fills you up. And people's admiration, people's gratitude towards you will never fill you up. It's your own. It's your own inside. And so for me, self-confidence comes from keeping the promises I make to myself. And the other part of it is being aware I'm doing it. In other words, most people don't give themselves enough credit all the time. They're very aware of these 20% things and not aware of the 80, right? And that's why the dosage is so important, too. You've nailed it. It should be 80/20, right? Because people get addicted to this, I'm not good at this. Uh people don't like this about me. I don't feel good. Instead of focusing on the 80 and stacking it up. Wow, I did eat what I said I was going to today. I did get up when I said I was going to. I made the amount of phone calls. I treated people in such a way I promised myself. It's not just doing those things. It's rewarding it. It's being aware of it and stacking that up. When I work with athletes, the successful athletes I work with, when they're in a slump, it's never that they can't hit a ball anymore or make a shot or swing a golf club. They've lost their self-confidence. Somewhere along the way, they've lost the ability to focus on the things they are great at and stacking those promises they make to themselves. And the way I get them to break their slump is not correcting their swing or getting them positive. It's getting them to acknowledge the small promises, showing up to batting practice early, hitting that extra bucket of balls, beginning to reward themselves for the extra promises they keep to themselves puts them back in a state of self-confidence. All of a sudden, they're hitting the ball great again. All right. I This is so important, man. And I really hope people are listening. And your story is so incredible. And if we had more time, we could go down every avenue. Um when you were starting out, you're broke, uh your you your wife's car got foreclosed on, your water was turned off at one point. I mean, it's like literally crazy. How do you begin to build that like for real you, not in the abstract, but how did you begin to build yourself confidence when like you're teaching people how to do something that you don't you haven't actually done in your life, which like that moment is where most people get trapped, right? They see you now successful and they just write you off a little bit cuz it's like, "Well, you've done it." But, if they could see you at that moment and understand what you're telling yourself Mhm. and and get to like the the reality of your Velcroing your car to look like a Mercedes, right? So, there's this really weird like you're not quite like just fully accepting where you are, but yet you really do accomplish it. Yeah. Wow, that is such a good question. That's another question I've not been asked that way before. So, if we really go back and we look at it, I had a couple good things happen for me um or to me. One was at that time my wife did get frank with me. This is not who you are. This is not what you're about. I don't recognize this person. This is who you are. And I had a other person to my benefit pointing out to me the things that were great about me. Now, this is going to sound hokey, but I'm going to give you the big one. And this is why life gives you these great tests. I had a really good friend of mine I went to lunch and he said, "Yeah, I don't know who this guy is here in front of me." And he goes, "Let me ask you a question, honestly. Right now, what are you grateful for?" And at the lunch I said, "Jack Nothing, brother. There's nothing good in my life right now." And I'm not exaggerating this to you when I tell you this, and this is a factual story. As I'm mouthing these words, two people walked in with an older man. Both of them clearly were fighting cancer somehow. Both had lost their hair. One of the ladies had a bonnet on, and they were barely moving in. Both walked by our table and gave me the most warm greeting, the warmest smile as a stranger. And he goes, "That's pretty freaking pathetic. You can't find anything in your life to be grateful for right now?" And on the drive home, I'm not kidding you, I started to stack gratitude. I started to take inventory. Because if you can find things to be grateful for in that space, man is your life going to be rich when there really are external things to be grateful for. So, my first mechanism out of that space was honestly to stack the things I was grateful for and I started reinforcing it over and over and over again. And what happens is there's this reticular activating system in our brains, right? And all of a sudden because that's the messaging I was giving myself, all of a sudden all these things start to come into my awareness that I'm grateful for. I start to magnetize to myself some people that I needed to find into my life and that was the next layer. I started to see things to be grateful for. My health, my fitness, people who loved me. And what it is it changed my state. When I stacked gratitude, I changed what I did in the morning and I changed what I did in the evening. And so, somehow by grabbing control of my morning and by grabbing control of my evening, I got some measure of control over the middle of my day. I was an out of control person back in those days, meaning this, I woke up worried, stressed, fearful. And I immediately start thinking about a bill I had to pay, something that was wrong. And I'm in a state of reaction to begin every I'm talking within 6 minutes of waking up, 6 seconds. Most people listening to this, that's what they do. I said, "I got to grab control of my morning." And I set up routines in my morning. Maybe they served me, maybe they didn't, but they were things I could deliver on doing to for myself. And so, not only did that give me control over the day, but I started to stack myself confidence, too. And what were some of those things that you grabbed onto? Huge. So, um and I have a that I'm not pitching this, but I do have audios on this stuff, too, that people can go get for free, but my Which by the way are amazing. Thank you, man. Thanks. No, 100% and I really hope people will dive in. Like your content is incredible. Thank you. So was yours, which is why I wanted to find you. And that's I've been for a long time wanted to be in your presence, so my morning routines are really detailed. Um I get up and I hydrate. The second thing I do every morning is I do something cold. Something cold. So, whether that's I jump in the ocean cuz now I live in the ocean, but in those days it was taking a cold shower or splashing some cold water on my face or walking out when it was cold. It shocks our nervous system, our fight or flight kicks in, we're in a cellular electric alive state. I obviously do some prayer and meditation every single morning. I've still not touched my telephone. So, there's a rule. There's 30 minutes I cannot touch my telephone when I wake up. That's the hardest thing to do in the world and the thing that could benefit you the most cuz what's ever on that phone you have to react to. And typically it's stuff that's not great. And so, I don't touch that. I I do my meditation and my prayer and I do some stretching. I do some breathing exercises and then at that point I allow myself to enter the world after I've got my state controlled. And I work out every morning except for Sundays. I work out every morning. Talk to me about working out. That's something that completely changed my life. Obviously. And and every time somebody asks me a question about, you know, how do I I'm lost. I feel, you know, completely out of control. I don't have confidence. My answer is work out. So, why? Well, I think everything in our bod- I think everything in our life starts with our body. If you're a person of faith, you believe that's where your soul is housed, right? And so, it's the You you do emotions. You don't just feel them, you do them. In other words, and you know this from things you've learned in your life, but like joy is an actual action, not just an emotion. We feel a certain joy. There's a certain breathing, a certain movement in our body. Depression and sadness is something we do. We're more hunched over. Our breathing is more shallow, right? And so, there's a correlation between the way you move your body and your emotions. They're directly This is even before we get to dopamine hits and our nervous system being I'm just telling you that the way you move your body is an emotion. You do emotions. And so, when you move your body, you can't be in full workout mode, moving your body, running, walking, jumping jacks, jump rope, and be depressed. They don't go together simultaneously cuz your body doesn't get the connection. I'm moving like I'm joyful. I'm moving like I'm having sex. I'm moving like I'm happy. These are all joyful states. You can't be depressed simultaneously. So, the quickest way to change our behavior, our emotions, and our state is with our body. All right. Now, let's talk about the the like end sets, the ones that really burn and really hurt. Mhm. One thing that I've found is and you've talked about this with entrepreneurship in general. You said it's the the greatest like self-awareness mechanism where you're going to find out who you are, what you're capable of, how hard you're willing to push. Yep. Most people though getting into that position, like it's hard, right? That that's a sort of a a bridge too far. Yes. But I love where you're going. when you start in the gym and it's like do I do this extra set or not? Do I push myself? Do I do an extra exercise? You going back to confidence is self-trust. It's like you begin to learn something about yourself. Oh, boy. I'm stealing that from you. No, please, man. And that like legitimately changed my life. And so, when I when I see guys that are successful entrepreneurs and they're jacked, Yeah. that never surprises me. Me, either. So, um I I play these very strange games with myself when I'm at the gym. When I'm working out, I always do one extra rep, one extra set because it I it's a promise I kept to myself. And here's the biggest thing. It's a pattern. It's a pattern I keep of me. I always do a little extra. I always go the extra inch. And the quickest and easiest place to do it is the gym cuz I can always grab one more weight, one more set. And it Here's what it does. It shifts your identity. All right. Talk to me about identity cuz that is So, I heard that first from Tony that Tony Robbins, the notion that identity drives behavior. And that was one of those like lightning rod moments where I was like, "Whoa, that's the hook, right? If I want to change like my behaviors, I need to think of myself in a different way." Correct. You've leveraged identity really powerfully. How have you done it and like what are some specific moments where identity came to your rescue? So, identity is the governor on our lives. It's the invisible force that no one understands. And once they do understand and get a hold of it, their life can change. And so, not only if you don't get a hold of this, will these outward conditions of your life keep being exactly the same? But it's you could behave differently. You could do all the work out. You could be thinking great thoughts, but you are going to get out of your life you're going to be the most powerful force in the world, I think, is to be consistent with the concepts, ideas, and worth that you hold for yourself. You will get that out of your life, what you will tolerate. Okay? The deeper part of that is identity. And so identity is very much like a thermostat sitting on a wall, right? This is important. Once that temperature is set at a certain degree, everything in the world externally can hit it, and you will find a way to get that temperature. So, even in this house, let's say it's set at 80°. If we opened up all the doors and cold air, just the worst things in life, the blizzard of life came in, the thermostat will kick the heater on, and it will regulate this room back to 80°. The reverse is also true. It's a super hot day. Great things are happening in your life. It's getting hotter and hotter and hotter. If you're at 80°, that internal thermostat will find a way over a window of time to cool your life right back down to 80° again. So, the key, the secret key is to be able to shift that identity. 90, 100, 120. So, some of the ways, strategies to do that are are very simple. One is if I let's just say financially, you're a 200°er, and I'm an 80°er. If I'm in your proximity over and over and over and over again, you will heat my identity up somewhere in between mine and yours to 150°. Same in fitness, same in everything. So, the more you can layer in multiple people, the stronger and stronger that force is. So, that changes our thermostat through association. It's a huge, huge, huge, huge thing. People say, "You are who the five people you hang around." This is why. They adjust your thermostat. That's number one. Second way you can change your identity is through doing short bursts of something in a window of time you've not done them before, and they change the thermostat temperature permanently. Almost like a water line in the pool. So, if it's a certain in the gym, certain amount in the gym, or a certain amount of phone calls in your business, or certain amount of appointments, you make a certain amount of money, often times you're never the same again. You've seen this when your own net worth. I've seen it in my life. It became a point where I made a leap in a short window. I was never really the same again. I could go back a little bit, but not back where I was before. So, it's activity or successes, achievements in short bursts of time. And then our obviously our self-confidence impacts identity, too. And we've kind of covered that. Those are three quick ways. When you really stop and think about suicide, and this is a new obsession of mine. If you stop and think about suicide, what has happened? That person believes, falsely, but they believe that they'll never be happy again. That they'll never feel good about themselves again. And that's why it's referred to as a permanent solution to a temporary problem.