Video summary
The podcast from Girls Gone Bible addresses a significant tension between modern cultural expectations for women and what the speakers describe as a wholesome, biblical lifestyle. The core issue identified is that contemporary culture encourages women to reject rules in favor of living solely by their own truth, often interpreting scriptural commands like "wives submit to your husbands" without reading further into the reciprocal responsibilities placed on men. Specifically, the discussion highlights Ephesians 5:21-33, noting that while wives are called to submission, husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church—a sacrificial act of dying for them. The speakers argue that this dynamic is not a sign of weakness but rather an expression of strength, humility, and trust in a partner who will lay down his life for her safety and well-being. A major point of contention regarding modern relationships is the pervasive over-sexualization of women and men, which the hosts view as glorifying behavior that undermines true liberation. Furthermore, they critique the progressive movement's push for a 50/50 equality model in dating and marriage, arguing that it creates unnecessary division by pitting genders against one another rather than allowing them to complement each other. The speakers emphasize that while men and women are equal in value before God, their roles differ; Jesus' original design intended for couples to work harmoniously together with a man leading the household as a provider and protector, mirroring Christ's role toward the church. They contend that modern dating often results in chaos because individuals refuse to embrace these distinct natural functions, leading men who do not want to be men and women who feel they must fight for power rather than trusting their partners. The conversation also explores the damaging concept of hyperindependence promoted by society, which discourages reliance on loved ones despite being created as dependent beings first upon God. The speakers acknowledge that many women have been taught from a young age to fend for themselves due to fear and past painful experiences where financial instability or abusive relationships left them with no safety net. Consequently, there is a understandable tension between the desire for security through independence—often prioritized over careers because only one can truly leave their job—and the spiritual ideal of surrendering control in marriage. The hosts clarify that biblical submission does not require women to abandon their careers or lives; they personally love working and intend to continue doing so even after having children, rejecting the cliché that a woman must stay home while her husband earns all the money. Ultimately, the speakers conclude that true safety and fulfillment come from trusting in a godly man who leads with self-sacrifice rather than control or abuse. They stress that biblical submission is entirely different when applied to men who do not follow Jesus; such individuals may demand obedience without offering love or protection, which constitutes mistreatment rather than partnership. The dialogue underscores the difficulty of navigating these ideals in a modern world where socioeconomic shifts have given women access to independence, yet many still crave the security and care found in a committed relationship led by someone willing to die for them. By educating themselves on God's design and distinguishing between healthy leadership and abusive control, couples can find harmony that aligns with both practical realities of dual-income households and spiritual principles of trust and devotion.
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You mentioned that there was a tension
between uh what girls are being
encouraged to do, the way that they're
encouraged to live their lives and show
up and what you think is a more
wholesome lifestyle that you guys have
gone into. What's that tension there?
What what are the issues with modern
culture for women? Yeah. What are modern
cultures for women? Um what is the issue
with um for women in modern culture?
Yeah. I think that, you know, modern c
modern women now are like, I don't want
to, sorry, my phone. Let me just put
this on. Do not disturb. Um, modern
culture says, I don't want to go by the
rules. I want to live how I want to
live. I don't want to submit. Like, I
want to live by my own truth. Um, I
think they read the scriptures, wives,
submit to your husbands, and they stop
there and they're like, wait a minute,
I'm not doing that. I'm not submitting
to him. But if you keep reading the
scripture, it says, "Men, love your
wives as Christ loved the church." What
does that mean? Christ loved the church.
He died for the church. So men have a
way huger responsibility than women. Men
have to love their women have to be
willing to die for them, right? And so
it's not it's it's this beautiful
partnership of I'm going to trust you
and I'm going to submit to you because
I'm trusting that you're going to love
me like Christ loved the church. So we
look at it like it's weakness like I
have to submit to him and I have to be
weak. No, that's strength. That's me
trusting you. That's humility and
selflessness. And so I think just it's
been so misconstrued. And look, we don't
want to ever be doormats, right? If
we're in ab sometimes we make bad
decisions, we get in the wrong
relationships and we don't want to ever
take abuse. But that's why we choose
wisely and we choose choose people that
that love us like Christ loved the
church that would give their lives for
us, you know. Is that devotion piece why
you think people are so unsatisfied with
modern relationships? What what's going
wrong with modern relationships from
your perspective? Oh, Chris, what's gone
wrong with modern relationship? We are
here in LA. So, this is in LA. Where do
we start?
Can I just add one more thing to that
because I think this is really
important. There's just been such an
over sexualization of not even just
women, women and men. Um there things
have been truly so so go around LA, look
at the billboards. Everything is so
overly sexualized. Um and we live in a
culture where that's glorified,
glamorized, and again they say like this
is liberating, but really it's the
opposite. It's so true. And then in
terms of dating, I think of course the
progressive movement has tried to make
this whole like men and women 5050
um we're equal sort of thing. And what's
so beautiful about the original design
of Jesus, you got to read this book,
Chris. I'm telling you, because it'll
change your entire life because you
literally can read God's original design
for man and woman, husband and wife, and
you see how much it makes sense. You see
why there's harmony? Men and women were
not created 50/50. They're equal in
value. Yes. Different in role, different
in function, different in strengths. You
know what I mean? It's not um
we literally have gotten into this thing
in modern dating where we're like this.
Men and women are against each other.
We've pit women and men against each
other saying the future is female and
the poor men are like, "What about us?"
You know what I mean? You're a man. I
plan to hopefully have a son one day. I
can't imagine my son having to live in a
world where he's like the future's only
female. That doesn't even make sense.
You know, it's just this whole
progressive movement that creates so
much confusion and so much division. Men
and women were created to like work
beautifully and harmoniously together,
not against one another, but
complimenting one another. And so, you
see in dating,
men don't want to be men. Women don't
want to be women. And so everything is
messed up. It's chaotic. And that's just
the truth. You come into a beautiful um
Jesusloving, godly relationship and you
see how beautifully it flows because you
see a man be a provider, a protector.
You see lay down his life the way that
Christ died for the church. And you see
a woman be like a beautiful, nurturing,
loving, building up type of woman. And
it just flows. Why are we going against
the natural design? It's just insane.
Is there a tension, do you think,
between faith and modern femininity?
You've got some reconciliation that
needs to happen between biblical
womanhood and some of the progress
that's been made to give women
independence in the modern world. Do you
think there's a tension going on there?
Yeah. I mean, listen,
take it from two working women who have
jobs, who are love to work, and who are
in ministry and love what we do. And um
this whole there's just like this
pushing of hyperindependence that I
think is so damaging. I think we were
created as human beings first to be so
dependent on God. like we are supposed
to be hyperdependent on Jesus. And then
as women, we were created to be in
surrender and in submission to a man's
authority in marriage. Um, and it's a
beautiful, beautiful thing. And I think
obviously we've lost that with um I'm
not going to speak on the entire
progressive movement because I'm not I'm
not going to I'm not knowledgeable on
all of it. I don't know everything. But
from what I do understand, um the one
area that I see an issue is this this
place of hyperindependence. I think it's
damaging. I think it's harmful. I think
um being dependent on people that you
love and trust is a beautiful thing.
Take it from someone who's been
hyperdependent my whole life. and then
following Jesus, getting into a
relationship with a beautiful godly man
who I'm not married, so I'm not under
anybody's authority, but like as it
trends that way, you see the safety in a
relationship like this and it begins to
make sense. I don't need to fight for
power. I don't need power. I'm not
looking. Jesus didn't even fight for
power. I don't need power. But we do
understand from that that other side
because I remember being in
relationships and feeling like I have to
fend for myself. If I need to work, I
can't depend on him. The minute he takes
it away, I'm going to be left alone and
he and I'm going to be like every I
remember being in a relationship the
minute something went wrong, he'd pull
it away. You know what I mean? And so I
felt I remember feeling like, well, I
have to take care of myself. My mom
taught me, you better have your own cuz
anyone could leave at any time. So there
is that other side where we have so much
compassion and we do understand because
the world is crazy. I'm single right
now. dating is it's it's very hard to
find good men these days you know like a
good so I do we do see the other side of
women are scared they are and so we have
so much compassion as well it's all well
and good talking about in an ideal world
this is how the design was previously
set we have a book that explains it this
is a good blueprint for you to follow
practicality comes along and people have
painful relationships painful breakups
they're left had a drift. Women are
financial prisoners or, you know, no
longer financially independent. They
have to stay in relationships that they
don't want to be a part of. And I think
it sounds fantastic in principle, but I
wonder whether in the modern world it's
compatible in practice. And I wonder
there's obviously going to be a
difficulty for some people to commit to
something like that cuz I think well
this makes me very vulnerable. Totally.
And there's right there's no blueprint
as in like a woman has to stay at home
and a man has to go to work. I plan to
get married and still go to work. You
know what I mean? It's more of like a
it's just I I speak and there's so many
beautiful relationships where a man
stays home and a woman goes to work.
We're not remotely saying that that's
wrong or this is right. What we are
saying is that there is a natural flow
to a relationship where somebody has to
Would you agree with this Chris that
somebody has to lead? Yeah. Right. You
can't have two leaders. Have you ever
tried to co-lead something? It's really
hard. Well, you want to have one person
singing harmony and one person singing
lead. Most people are singing lead. It
doesn't sound very Exactly. Yeah. And so
one person leads the man is called to
lead their household in what we believe.
And so it's just and that doesn't
necessarily mean that he has to brea the
be the bread winner. It's like all of
this can't be boiled down to any sort of
um construct or like cliche.
But that's in the reason that that is so
difficult is that you have a modern
world now where for most people you need
two contributors financially. uh you
have had gains for women recently
education title n there's nearly 2 to1
women to men going to college and
university and I think the push back
feels like well hang on a second we just
got access to socioeconomic independence
and equality and you're now telling me
that this is something that I'm supposed
to submit I'm supposed to be devoted
like this feels like a regression this
feels like you're sort of pushing me
back and I think that that's a tension
that a lot of women will feel, which is
I like the idea of being led. I like the
idea of maybe being cared for. This
sounds really lovely to me, but also I
like the idea of being independent and I
don't like the idea of being at the
mercy of someone who I don't get to
control. Totally. It's the weird thing
about careers that I think one of the
reasons that people prioritize careers
over relationships is that only you can
leave your career, but not only you can
leave your relationship, right? Your
career doesn't leave you in that way.
And I'm aware that I'm going to guess
you would say it's less fulfilling. This
isn't where truth, you know, etc., etc.
This isn't devotion. This isn't going to
fulfill you in the same sort of way.
However, people come from a place of
fear. Totally. And when they do that,
they look for something that feels like,
okay, well, at least this is secure.
This is safe. I can hold on to it. It's
in my control. Yeah. Totally. Oh, I felt
like that many times. Yeah. But again,
like I'm just going to go back to it
doesn't mean you have to give up your
life. It doesn't mean you we all I
believe that so much happiness like God
gives us purpose. God puts us in
situations. God gives us things so we
can it's not like God wants us to just
be home and just completely submitted to
a man. That's been misconstrued. That's
not the truth and that's not what God
says. It just again we're going to go
back to just I'm going to trust you. I'm
going to trust that you're going to lead
me because you're going to love me and
you're willing to lay your life down for
me. But that doesn't mean that I love
working. It's my favorite thing ever. I
don't even know what I do even when I
have kids. Like I hope I can still work
cuz I we truly love it. We love it. So
yeah. And I'll just say one more thing.
I am like this whole people just have
biblical submission so so backwards. And
I totally understand because I was
there. I was like submit to who? Are you
crazy? Like
being a man in God's design is the most
difficult position. Like it is more
difficult to be a man in power, right,
who's leading than it is to be the one
who's submitting because a man's sole
purpose is to literally die to himself
and prefer his wife and his children
always. That's the point. So actually
the woman is in a very good position if
you are with a man who truly follows the
word of God and follows Jesus. It's
something entirely different if you're
with someone who doesn't know Jesus,
doesn't know the Bible, and is telling
you to submit. That's not what we're
talking about. You know what I mean? And
so, yeah, these are things that you have
to educate yourself on, that you have to
read on, that you have to read the word
of God so you actually understand, and
you don't get yourself into a situation
with a man who doesn't even know Jesus
and is telling you to submit and is
abusing you and treating you wrong like
the L. Let me tell you one thing. Jesus
doesn't stand for women being
mistreated, abused, left cheated on.
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