Video summary
In this discussion, Sara Saffari addresses the complex issue of women sexualizing themselves on platforms like OnlyFans and Instagram. She acknowledges that while she personally does not feel tempted to overly sexualize her content, she understands why many women turn to these strategies after seeing their engagement plummet when posting more modest attire. According to Saffari, there is a perceived hierarchy in the adult industry where certain types of explicit content perform better than others, creating an environment where traditional posts often fail compared to those featuring nudity or specific sexual acts. She contrasts this with male standards, noting that men generally do not face the same pressure; for instance, a man might look cooler and more attractive wearing a shirt rather than being topless, suggesting that societal expectations regarding masculinity differ significantly from those placed on women. The conversation delves into the sociological implications of these trends despite recent strides in gender equality. Saffari points out statistics showing that as of January 2023, women made up 35% of new CEOs and are currently out-earning men between ages 21 and 29, yet a significant undercurrent of sexualization persists for women. She argues that this is not solely due to patriarchy but also stems from women competing with one another in the digital space; if a woman posts images featuring breasts or buttocks hoping to avoid clicks because they are unappealing, she is essentially fighting against fundamental biological and psychological dynamics regarding attraction. While she expresses no judgment toward those who choose this path for empowerment—acknowledging that some may feel it liberates them by taking men's money directly—the concept remains difficult for her to grasp as truly empowering when the interaction involves constant chatting with male subscribers or their managers, often Vietnamese virtual assistants rather than the creator herself. Saffari draws a parallel between OnlyFans and vaping, suggesting both represent "thin ends of wedges" that normalize harmful behaviors under the guise of enjoyment or freedom. Just as vaping is more enjoyable but potentially worse for health than traditional smoking, she questions whether monetizing one's image through nudity at the price of a cheap meal constitutes true liberation or self-objectification. She highlights how this model can distort personal relationships, particularly for former strippers who may struggle to view interactions with men as anything other than transactional and adversarial. This dynamic becomes even more problematic in an online context where intimacy is performative; without a physical presence, it becomes challenging to distinguish between genuine emotional connection and the scripted responses of AI chatbots or managed accounts that simulate personal interaction for subscribers paying per minute. Looking toward the future, Saffari speculates on how this monetization trend will be viewed in 10 to 20 years, wondering if it is merely a brief flash-in-the-pan or the beginning of a massive shift where people sexualize themselves for minimal monthly costs. She notes that many young women might find immediate appeal in bypassing college loans and traditional jobs by earning five figures through bikini photos alone, even though their brains may not be fully developed yet. Furthermore, she observes how creators often justify posting similar content on paid platforms as an extension of what they already share for free elsewhere, ignoring the branding issues inherent to paywall models that charge users specifically for nudity or gym wear. The discussion also touches on the potential evolution of these businesses into tech products using AI image and voice creation tools, which could allow creators to own their algorithms and servers rather than paying high fees—estimated around 15% to 20%—to platforms like OnlyFans owned by figures from Essex. Ultimately, Saffari concludes that while she is not attacking anyone who currently has an account, the long-term implications of this industry are concerning regarding longevity and personal branding stigma. She references Twitch streamers moving into similar spaces and warns against letting these digital identities define one's career permanently, noting that being labeled "the OnlyFans girl" can be a lasting mark regardless of future success in other fields. The episode ends with an advertisement for Cozy Earth bedding, highlighting their sustainable bamboo sheets, temperature regulation features, 10-year warranty, and Oprah endorsement before offering listeners a discount code to visit the brand's website.
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is there ever a temptation to overly
sexualize yourself no but I can totally
for me there's not genuinely there's not
but I can see the appeal of why there is
for women your likes have gone to like
your likes have plummeted whatever
Shadow band whatever you want to call it
so you're like okay whatever I'll put on
a swimsuit turn around and take a
picture by the pool you know I could see
the bang the algorithms back up bro like
we have the likes are back to normal but
like I genuinely think for women the
second you start posting pictures of you
know your ass mostly you know or like a
Hu huge cleavage pic whatever it is on
Instagram pictures of you and a you know
nice covering dress will never perform
as well as they did when you're posting
your ass or tits so I did a podcast
probably about three probably about
three years ago with a female adult
actress in the UK and I was asking her
about the typical career progression of
girls that go into this industry and
she'd been in it for like a decade she's
like a old she won awards don't awards
for that apparently I don't know what I
don't know I didn't see I didn't watch
either the awards or the content that
was submitted I think it was like a
Sundance Film Festival it must have been
anyway so I was asking her and she
basically said that there's a hierarchy
of um intensity to different kinds of
porn scenes so I think it was like solo
girl on girl guy on girl like all the
way
down to like anal DP like it it descends
deep uh uh not intended and I kind of
feel like there's an
equivalent uh stack intensity thing to
the kind of content and I don't think
that guys can do the same thing it's
like it's a topless photo for a guy
sometimes you look better like actually
you look better with a shirt on and you
could be in good condition but you could
look cooler with a shirt on it does feel
to me a little bit like
you know as much as we've got
this women are
35% of CEOs new CEOs in in companies
January of 2023 were women so the
highest percentage ever uh women are out
earning men between the ages of 21 and
29 women are out educating men two women
for every one man completing a full us
college degree by 2030 even though we
have all of that there's like still a
big undercurrent of sexualization for
women and this isn't I'm not saying like
this is the patri [ __ ] plowing it on
them very often women choose to
sexualize themselves or each other yes
yeah because it's them largely competing
with other women now it may be for the
eyes of men but if you are hoping for
men to not click on a photo that's got
boobs or a bum in it I think you're
fighting against like the thermodynamics
of like Sexes no 100% and a thousand
times I've heard girls that and I have
no hate on girls that want to do an only
fans or have an only fans it's not like
oh you have an only fans I'm not your
friend it's not that's not what I'm
saying I'm saying it's not for me and
there's ways I feel about it but that
doesn't mean that I'm going to dislike
you or I'm going to hate you or judge
you for having one women say that having
an o or whatever is empowering and I
think for me it's just hard to grasp how
that can be empowering when you're
chatting with men all day or having your
management chat with men all day
Vietnamese virtual
surpris guys if you're if you're
subscribed to an O and you think it's
her texting
you it's her fat manager yeah it's not
her yeah yeah I I don't know I I really
think it'll be interesting to reflect on
this period
of monetization for especially women in
10 years 20 years time and realized that
it was either a brief flash in the pan
or the beginning of a tsunami of
people sexualizing themselves for the
price of a cheeseburger per month I hope
it's I hope it's not anything that has
longevity to it but I could understand
how it's appealing for a girl that just
has just turned 18 okay fully not
developed in her brain thinks oh my God
I can make five figures a month you know
I have you know I have 20 30k on
Instagram I can make five figures a
month I don't have to go to college I
don't have to be in loan for years um I
don't have to go find an actual job I
can post bikini pics y and make
equivalent to a teacher or a doctor that
I could understand how that's appealing
you know what's interesting as well I
think I've heard you talk about this
before that it kind of doesn't really
matter what you post on only fans either
because they've tried to do like comedy
on there I think Whitney Cummings did a
roast uh b k has done some only fans
exclusive content uh there's a number of
girls that I know
who
justify um the emo is I post this stuff
for free on Instagram anyway oh yeah
therefore if I just post more a higher
frequency of the same level of nudity on
only fans that's basically I my morals
from Instagram it's already been there
there is nothing different but the
problem it's a branding problem I think
they say that to like you know help
themselves feel like better about it
maybe because it's the for well for me I
can only speak from my end but it's the
idea of a paywall platform you know
getting people's money to show whatever
it is that like for me just wouldn't
click I wouldn't even if I was posting
only gym content and leggings and a
t-shirt yeah just the idea
of it's an interesting one or chatting
with someone you know there's been other
the intimacy as well I think that's a
part of it yeah but so you know how
vaping is like every every person is
taking nicotine in some form or another
I was having a conversation the other
day about how vaping has probably or the
the
The Retreat of cigarettes and the
ascendancy of vaping has probably been a
net negative for health because vaping
is way more enjoyable than smoking ever
was yeah it tastes better it's cooler
you there's no smell no one could know
exactly all of this and it doesn't
smoking that wasn't so good I think if
you go into the if you start to educate
yourself about health and fitness lots
of people are pushing back against
vaping too but I don't think that's
really broken into the mainstream just
yet so a lot of people do it
I wonder whether kind of like how vaping
is the thin end of the wedge for
nicotine uh only fans has become a thin
end of the wedge for porn and for
self-objectification
yeah I don't know I I agree with you
that I I struggle to see
how I I don't know it's a tight line
about the
the I'm liberating myself and this is
this is empowering because you are
taking men's money
but is the price of your
nudity like a Double Whopper from
McDonald's and then if it's Black Friday
day it's like it's six chicken nuggets
yeah I don't know I don't know and I
it's something that I have like I have
concerns about and I haven't really
worked out my opinion on yet about like
what this means long term yeah I think
that's really going to be I think
longterm I just think if you
start again I'm not I it sounds like I'm
just [ __ ] on any woman with an only
fans which which I'm not yep I'm just
saying it from the perspective of a girl
who's out there thinking about it I
would recommend to not start one that's
the only thing I'm that's the only way
I'm coming at this I'm not [ __ ] on
anyone that has one I wonder so what
another thing I wonder what it does is
I've seen throughout my 20s girls that
were strippers they really struggled to
see their relationship with men as
anything other than transactional
because 150 times a night they needed to
extract resources from this guy yeah who
was from Edinburgh or had flown in from
Dublin or something for a stag weekend
with the boys maybe he was married maybe
he was in a relationship maybe he was
whatever and they saw this relationship
with men as adversarial as transactional
as shortlived and I saw a a struggle in
their personal lives to rip themselves
out of that and then if you think okay
and that's not even uh protracted or
that intimate if you don't have the
Vietnamese manager that's messaging all
of the people that you're with and it's
actually you that's doing the uh simp
admin probably [ __ ] with you mentally
so much how are you able to determine
the line between genuine emotional
connection and like performative
emotional connection do you know what I
mean yeah for
sure yeah I think not just your
relationship with men but like longevity
you know um especially cuz it's
something like you know it's not the
same as like maybe a dancer or whatever
this is all online like I feel like it's
something you could never live down and
if you're already an
influencer what they're gonna what
people are going to address you as like
oh the only fans girl you know it's it's
a stigma that comes AC comes with it a
title what's happening with fley is fley
just only fans fley have you heard of
that I haven't okay so this is like the
twitch streamer equivalent I think I
wonder if it it can't there's no way
that twitch would give it partner access
or integration or whatever but fans is
something else and I'm seeing a
different cohort of people it's mostly
twitch streamers that are doing that um
and I feel like it's the same it's like
private messages and and blah blah blah
but yeah I don't know have you have you
seen the new thing like AI the AI Bots
like you pay per minute to talk to
someone and they use your voice from
your videos or your online personality
to chat with someone yeah that's the
same thing like yeah I wonder
whether if I was the guy that made only
fans is British right he's from Essex if
I was him when chat GPT came out and the
AI uh image Creator thing I would have
spent as much money as I could I would
have dumped a [ __ ] ton of cash into no
longer being an agency and instead
becoming a tech product because if you
could vertically integrate yourself back
up and not only be the service that
people go through but be the creators
themselves by making the girls and by
creating the chat Bots and by own owning
the algorithms and by owning the servers
you cut out I don't know what the
percentage is it take 10% or 5% whatever
they only fans yeah they think a lot
more than that I think what do they take
is it 15 or
20 Joe come on how do you know you're
you're Joe you're always un only fans
that's all that you spend your time
you're always talking take your money
out of only fans and put it into like
one of the the S&P you want to put it in
the S&P I don't know I'm not very
educated with stocks I wish I was more
educated but whatever Tesla right put in
Tesla cool Elon musky getting my money
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