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Runner Review - Same Title, Different Crap

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The video review focuses on a new buddy action film titled *Runner*, starring Alan Ritchson and Owen Wilson, which is currently exclusive to Amazon Prime. The reviewer begins by clarifying that this movie should not be confused with another film simply called *The Runner* that plays in theaters, noting that both titles are unfortunate examples of Hollywood's confusing naming conventions. While the reviewer expresses love for classic buddy cop films like *Lethal Weapon*, *Die Hard*, and *Rush Hour*, they argue that *Runner* fails to capture the chemistry essential to the genre. The film attempts to force a partnership between two actors who are tonally opposite, resulting in an unnatural dynamic that feels forced rather than organic. The plot centers on Alan Ritchson's character, a Navy SEAL recovering from sobriety and the death of his child, who is tasked with transporting a vital organ in a cooler to save a seven-year-old girl. Despite the high stakes involving a dying child and a strict time limit for the organ's viability, the characters display a shocking lack of urgency. The reviewer criticizes the script for having the heroes take unnecessary breaks to chat or visit an ex-wife while being pursued by villains, completely ignoring the life-or-death situation at hand. This indifference extends to the action sequences, where characters suffer brutal injuries from tanks and glass shards yet continue fighting without any visible pain or concern, undermining the intended tension of the story. Beyond the narrative flaws, the reviewer points out significant issues with the film's tone and production quality. The movie oscillates awkwardly between melodrama and goofiness, failing to commit to a single style like successful predecessors that balance grit with comedy. The soundtrack is criticized for featuring songs that feel out of place and do not match the scene's mood, further contributing to a disjointed viewing experience. Additionally, the reviewer notes that the film lacks the necessary elements to warrant an R-rating, as there is minimal swearing or graphic violence, yet it still manages to be incredibly frustrating due to its illogical plot points, such as a dangling sandwich subplot that never resolves. Ultimately, the review concludes that while the movie offers only mild entertainment for a specific niche audience, it feels like a generic, AI-generated script that was rushed to completion without proper care or attention to detail.
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Have you ever found yourself confused by the title of a film? Occasionally having a conversation with a friend or family member about a film out and then you realized, "Oh, that's not even the right movie." I'm sure people have made that mistake when it comes to Suicide Squad versus The Suicide Squad. Those movies thankfully came out a couple years apart, so it was easier to figure out where people were at. and only one of them had a dumbass Joker that would Anyway, The Runner is the film that's on Amazon Prime exclusively and it sucks. Runner is exclusively in theaters and it sucks. So, don't get them confused. But also, it's okay if you do because at the end of the day, they both suck and you don't need to waste your time watching them. Let's get into the spoiler-free review. >> [music] >> Allan Richson and Owen Wilson star in a buddy action flick called Runner. Not The Runner. Almost got you with that one. Naming conventions in Hollywood are great. And before I continue, I just want to list off some movies that I love in this genre so that I'm not just some [ __ ] that's always ragging on films. Lethal Weapon. I love all those movies. You have a great dynamic between our cops, the unhinged Mel Gibson, the more calm and collect Danny Glover. Okay, Rigs, where are you? Rigs Die Hard three. He's got kind of a companion in each one, but that's the one that really brings him together with Samuel L. Jackson's character Zeus. Phenomenal film. I love all four of the Die Hard movies. You heard me. All four of the Die Hard movies. Rush Hour. Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Match Made in Heaven. How about Shanghai Noon? Jackie Chan. Owen Wilson, who's in this film? Owen Wilson's actually a great kind of wingman for a lot of different actors. Every time I see him with Ben Stiller, I have a good chuckle. Zoolander is a favorite of mine. Anyway, let's get to the bad. Okay, Runner with Alan Richson and Owen Wilson has no chemistry at all. These guys are so tonally at opposites with each other, you you couldn't make it work if you forced it. And this movie really tries to force it. And it does it in the worst of cases. Let's get to the plot. Let's let's let's break things down for you. This movie is going to focus on Alan Richson's character. Who cares what his name is? It's Alan Richson. He's a very chipsard down guy. And he has himself a chip. As a matter of fact, it's been one full year since he's been sober. And since he's gotten over the loss of his dead kid who's dead than the deadest dog who ever died off camera, he just has a photo up on the dash up in that little what's that thing called? The visor. up on the visor that he can have a nice reminder of. He's a runner, a divorce runner, Navy Seal guy, as one is. And so his job is to go on his Bluetooth headset and talk to some douchebag who sounds like AI. I kid you not. Uh, his name is Iggy. The only Iggy I want to hear from is Miss Aelia. Okay, first things first. I'm the real ass. Drop this and let the whole world feel ass. Subscribe. This guy's going to come on the Bluetooth and be like, "All right, mate. You got to go over here and and and pick up this guy, mate. And then you got to go over there and pick up a bird, mate." And it was given me massive shades of The Runner. That That's the Galot You want to font film, remember? They're different. They're different [laughter] movies, but both of them feature people running to places and talking on headsets to [ __ ] Alan Richson is about to get his greatest running assignment yet, though. It's to pick up a cooler carried by Owen Wilson and he has to ferry them over to a hospital so that a little seven-year-old girl can get a brand new liver or she's dead. Kind of like the runner. There's a time frame on this because the cooler can only stay chilled for so long. You got to get that liver in someone before it goes before it's worthless. Believe me, as someone who's moved a lot of livers around, I can attest it's a very finicky project. Now again, as someone who's moved a lot of these around in different various body parts, I can tell you there's a lot of money to be made in this market. You want a fresh heart, you want a fresh liver, you want a fresh uh penis, it it comes at a hefty price. All right? There's not a lot of there's not a lot of dicks just floating around that you can grab. Okay? If there's one in there that's ripe for the taking, they can get up to a million dollars. And so there's going to be some villains on the hunt for this thing. Now, what's their purpose? Is it to sell it, or is it for something else? Well, you got to watch the movie to find out that answer. [gasps] I could tell you, but maybe I kind of want you to suffer through the film, too. So, it's not going to take too long for Alan Richson to spot a tail. And he sees that there's bad guys on his ass. So, he takes a left down an alleyway and more guys approach him. And we are off to the races. This is a nonstop, no holds, bars, check notes, PG13 action movie. That's depressing to say out loud. What's more depressing is the lack of care these jackasses appear to have for that little girl dying in the hospital. Because we have learned throughout the course of this movie that time is of the essence. So, they are going to take as much time as humanly possible to just walk and talk. sometimes stand in place and have a chat. You would think they have months to deliver this [ __ ] thing, but they're supposed to be there lickety split. They're supposed to be there like yesterday, okay? There's a grieving mother over there and she's hot as [ __ ] So get that thing to her and impress her. Wait, this is a 2026 movie in the action space. So all OF OUR STRONG [screaming] male leads are roided the [ __ ] up and they have no interest in a quick bang. Back in the good old days with a Slice Stallone film, an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, a JeanClaude von Dam, high art picture, there is always time for some softcore penetration. All right, you fight the crime, you go back for penetration, you go back out. It's as easy as one, two, three, four, five, six, nine. [laughter] You get what I'm saying? Penetration, short for penetration. We don't care so much about the plot though in these films, right? We we're here for the action spectacle. And in that department, you're probably going to be let down too because although there's there's a decent amount of it, most of it's just the director kind of throwing the camera around trying to get that visceral style where it's it's moving around with the action. Sometimes it works to a great effect. Other times it just looks really bad. And again, there's really no stakes to any of this because I don't feel that sense of urgency from our characters. Here's an example. There's a point where their car gets wrecked and they have to go find an alternative vehicle. So Richson says, "Hey, why don't we pop by the ex-wife's place?" They go over there. They're spackled with blood, shirts ripped, they look a mess. wife answers the door and she doesn't blink an eye. She doesn't look at these two vagrants and go, "Oh my god, what happened? Are you okay?" No, it's just another day at the races, I suppose. And on top of that, Alan Richton isn't in a hurry. He's not like, "Hey, hey, sweetie. I know it's been a long time. We talk on the phone still, but this is crazy. I'm showing up your door, but we really need your car. There's a little girl in the hospital. She's going to be dead in a matter of minutes if we don't get to a vehicle and get to that hospital. we have what she needs in this cooler. No, instead he's just like, "Hey, is Rich here?" I don't know what the guy's name is. The dude that she's currently sleeping with, "Uh, this is just, you know, huh, you look good. You look uh you look rested." It's like, what what are you doing? Tell her what's going on. This is so annoying. I was constantly frustrated at this stuff. And also Alen Richson for this this super sharp, super awesome fighter, he's sure dumb as [ __ ] because he doesn't pick up on the like most obvious of things. For instance, when he's talking to a guy that he thinks he can trust but obviously is the bad guy. Like, are you serious, dude? This is the most obvious crap ever. Or at another point, when he tries to get the bad guys off his scent, so he leads them across THE STREET. [screaming] AH, THIS MOVIE PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH. It's not a turn your brain off and enjoy the action because the action's lame. And I saw some reviews right before I went live. You're like, "Whoa, I can't believe they got away with a PG13 on this movie. It should have BEEN AN R. [ __ ] YOU." WHAT? HOW IS THIS AN R-rated movie? There's nothing about this that screams R-rated. The sw There's no swearing. The The violence is barely there. It's a lot of just punches and kicks and slamming bodies into things. The only thing that amazes me is how anybody gets up after this giant tank of a guy rams his shoulder into him, throwing him through a wall. Then he takes like a glass plate, smashes it over their head, kicks him in the face four times, and the bad guy gets up like nothing happened. What? [sighs] I know there's an audience for this. Jason Staithm has made 500 movies in this same kind of vein. The difference is Staithm's got style. Even when he's phoned it in, the guy just oozes cool. He oozes charisma. Okay. And he can act. I liked him in uh in in his non-action films. Snatch is one of my favorite movies. It's in my top 100 of all time. And Staithm's fantastic in it. Alan Richson, I heard, is great in Reacher. I've never watched Reacher, but everything I've seen him in has been so unimpressive. Like obviously he looks like he's a troublemaker, right? He he looks like a badass, but outside of that, I I don't get any sort of charisma from him. I get nothing from him. So Owen Wilson being his like lackey, being the guy he's supposed to exchange, you know, volleys of conversation with, it never works because he has nothing to bring. Owen Wilson, incredibly charming. He's still lovable. Even in this film, I like seeing him. I haven't seen him for a long time. He's fun to listen to and even though the dialogue is not great, he's putting it all in there and Richen's giving him nothing back. And nothing I hate more in a film than leaving something dangle and not finishing up such as the sandwich that Richson tries to eat early in the movie. Later, he goes back to it. He takes a bite. And I was just waiting for the sandwich arc to be completed, and it never is. It's really frustrating. I was more captivated by where the sandwich thing was going to go than anything else in the picture. Now, I don't think it's a total miss. Like I said, there is an audience for this and I think it's going to be the same audience that watched Jag, which was a TV show. I don't know what it was about, but it went a long time, I'm pretty sure. And a lot of old people liked Jag. There was some old people in the audience for this one. The audience of four that I was in the theater with, they seemed mildly entertained. And I think that that's what this movie brings to the table. Mild entertainment. I was just waiting for it to be over. I Oh, I brought up uh Suicide Squad before. Remember that film has like 85 different songs at the beginning to try to, you know, set the tone and get you pumped up. This movie has a couple songs out of the gate, too, that felt kind of similar to that. not as egregious by like throwing 50 of them at you at once, but there's a couple there that just felt really out of place. It didn't it didn't match what was happening in the scene. And I think they're trying to get this movie to loosen up a little bit because tonally, much like the other movie I saw tonight, which I will talk about in the next video, uh tonally it's a little all over the place. It's very melodramatic at times. It's very goofy at times. It's attempting to be serious. There's just too many angles and it's not finding a great one. I mentioned some awesome movies before. Lethal Weapon balances the gritty action with comedy so well. Die Hard does the same exact thing. Rush Hour and Shanghai Noon, those go for the sillier slapstick style, but they still have some stakes to them. These movies know what they are and they go allin. I don't know what the heller is. I think it thinks it's a straight to streamer because that's what it felt like. And I'm not shocked that there are two movies in two weeks that have Runner as their titles because they both feel like movies that were generated by AI and and they just were like, "Oh, these are both really kind of bad movie scripts, but they're at least done and we don't have to do any work." Runner, a generic title for a generic film. Let me know if you had any interest in seeing this. Most people I've mentioned it to were like, "What? That thing that's on Amazon Prime?" Like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's that's the other runner." Oh, okay. Well, yeah. Yeah. I was probably just going to watch Halloween tonight anyways. And I was like, "What Halloween? The original or the the the reboot of Halloween 2 that's called Halloween?" And like, "Wait, what? There's another Halloween? [screaming] Let's just watch Alien and forget about it." Alien or Aliens? Wait, they're two different things. What? Hollywood naming conventions are great. All right, that's all I got for you. Make sure to sub to the show if you enjoyed it. That's how you get more videos by me, especially if you hit the notification bell. That way, further videos will show up in your feed. Otherwise, you might miss them. Feel free to like the video, hype it if you want, if you have the hype points to give on YouTube, and hopefully I see you for the next review. All right, that's all I got. Take care. Thanks again for watching the video. If you didn't know, I'm a oneman operation here at Adam Doesmov. I also have a full-time job. I got a family to take care of. And I would absolutely love if you supported me on patreon.com/adamdosmov like these beautiful people did here. These are the silver and gold members. There's also a bronze membership starting at $1, plus access to over 300 videos from the Atom vault at any support level. I would really appreciate it. It's the best way to support the show. 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