Video summary
The video presents a satirical parody of the song "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley, using humor to critique various aspects of California life while contrasting them with the perceived benefits of moving to Texas. The lyrics mock the state's infrastructure and environmental policies, jokingly suggesting that the single mile of high-speed rail is perfect because there is no need for more, and that the water supply is sufficient only because it is so limited. Furthermore, the song ridicules California's heavy tax burden on income, property, cars, and gas, framing these financial pressures as a primary motivator for residents to leave for a state with lower taxes.
Beyond economic grievances, the parody targets social issues and local governance in California through exaggerated and absurd imagery. The narrator describes a chaotic environment where needles are found on sidewalks and smoking crack is happening alone, implying that crime and public disorder are driving people away. The song also pokes fun at city officials and political figures, making jokes about pothole repairs being inadequate and suggesting that certain leaders should be arrested. These elements combine to paint a picture of a struggling community where even basic services like bathroom access on the street are highlighted as problematic, reinforcing the idea that life in California has become untenable for many.
The narrative concludes by emphasizing the inevitability of leaving, with references to U-Haul trucks arriving soon and new taxes being introduced that seem to offer no relief. The lyrics question whether even crack is exempt from these new taxes, adding a layer of dark humor to the financial strain. Ultimately, the song suggests that the only logical solution is to move, noting that Austin, Texas, lacks high-speed rail but offers a preferable alternative to the current situation in California. The final message is clear: despite the absurdity of the complaints, the decision to choose Texas is presented as the sensible choice for those seeking a better quality of life.
Read the full video transcript
[music]
Hey, what the heck are you doing?
Guys are [music] moving to a different
state. What? But this is the best place
in the country. Yeah, where could you
possibly [music] be going that's better
than this? Just when I thought he loved
our single [music]
mile of highspeed rail. It's the perfect
amount. Our water supply for fires. That
is basically [music]
a pale. I can't imagine ever needing
more. Doesn't he love
[music and singing] our various high
taxes? Yeah. On income, property, car,
and gases. He's choosing Texas. I can
tell by [music]
the way he's too stepping around the
room. Yeehaw.
>> And judging [music] by the tax
assessment on his place, he's probably
leaving [singing] soon. I mean, it's
lower than mine. It doesn't [music] take
a crystal ball to see. There's needles
on the [music] sidewalk of the street.
Smoking crack all by myself. [music]
Yeah, he's choosing Texas. I can tell.
[singing]
Well, come on [music] down to city hall
and listen to a hearing. I bet that'll
change your mind. Okay.
[music] Netanyahu should be arrested.
That's what I declare.
What meetings [music] this guy leading?
He's in charge of pothole repair. It's
pothole adjacent. He [music] always
loved not getting robbed in the morning.
He did mention that.
>> He should have taken that as a warning.
[music] Jews in Texas, I can tell by the
way he's high-fiving every dude. [music]
And judging by this meeting of the PTA,
the U-Haul's coming soon.
It doesn't take 10 fly cameras [music]
to see. We let folks use the bathroom on
the street. Taking craps all by myself.
Okay, he's choosing Texas. I can tell.
Oh no, [singing]
there's a new [music] meals tax as well.
Is crack exempt? He's choosing Texas. I
can tell.
Maybe we should move, too. [music]
Austin doesn't have highspeed rail.