Praying For The Single Moms Raising Boys!

Wow. Got the whole bathroom. Look at the bathroom. I don't know if you can see right now. Somebody sent that to me and just so sad. Just so sad to see the young man mental health issues. see his mental health issues and to see what he going through. And I have a lot of clients who go through different things like that and they have those situations where they raising a son. I haven't had a case yet personally where I saw that from a a girl, but I've seen it from the boys. And then I've also coached people who are raising boys and and then I have a lot of colleagues who are raising boys with autism or just different parts of the spectrum. I'm thinking of like like sports coaches I know and clients I know, business professionals. I It's crazy that I've never that I [clears throat] still haven't met anyone that I could think of with an autistic daughter. That's something. Now that I think about that, everybody I know their autistic child is a boy. And I know y'all probably know people with autistic daughter, but it it's crazy that you would think that I would as many people I talk to and deal with that I would have uh idea in mind. But I just want to share this for the moms just to encourage you whether you raising a son with special needs or not. I just want to encourage you to stay strong, keep your faith, be diligent, be vigilant, continue to heal. Like, make sure that you have help in place for yourself. If you have the finances, make sure that you having a a weekly coaching call. And the reason why I say coaching is just because I feel like in a situation like that, it may be more beneficial than therapy because most therapists are, you know, they're trained to listen. And so, you're just kind of talking, but you're not really getting action steps and feedback, but you don't need a lot of action steps and feedback because especially if you're dealing with someone with special needs. So even with that situation, I can't really address it like I would address a normal situation of a woman raising a boy because he has special needs. So you can't he has special needs issues and have behavior episodes. So you can't handle him the way you would structure and raise a child without those issues. And the sad thing about it is is that lady, she could end up losing her life at the hands of that young man. And it's very unfortunate. And we call it mental health. Me personally being a spiritual person, I more so kind of see it almost like a spiritual possession, like a demonic spirit. And but I'm not sure how that would work with prayer or casting out a demon. I'm I'm because I'm not sure that it is an actual spirit. And it could just literally be not even like a demon, but it could literally just be something altered in the brain, whether that was from drug use or being shaking baby or being dropped on the head or being, you know, something that because it's things that go on with children at a young age that can alter and rewire their brain chemistry and their brain patterns. And a lot of times parents may not tell that part of it because when a woman is going through postpartum or a man is watching that child and doesn't have the capacity and the patience for that child, you can do things to your child that you wouldn't do in a normal mindset. And I've heard countless stories of that and just things like that. We don't know the long-term effects. So almost suffocating a child or trying to pretty much suffocate a child or try to get them to stop crying, which only make them cry harder because for the 15 seconds or whatever that the mom or the dad was covering their mouth, they couldn't breathe. So now they going to scream even louder. and then, you know, dropping the baby on their head, hitting the baby, shaking the baby, all of those things could have mental ramifications. The brain can be traumatized at a young age and especially when the brain is so sensitive. Like imagine be getting upset and shaking your child and you shaking your child and you like and they brain is bashing up against their skull and they one years old, two years old. And a lot of people don't tell that part of it because what you got to realize, you have you have these guys where I mean you have these parents, moms going through postpartum being at postpartum psychosis is like the topic right now and it may not come all the way to it may not go all the way to the mom strangling the child till death but imagine how many moms have strangled their child in postpartum till they passed out till they turned blue, till they turned purple and then resuscitated them. But that child was like practically brain dead for 30 seconds and what that did to the brain. So a lot of times what one thing that we're not thinking about is the trauma that's brought upon these kids at a young age and like that child screaming and yelling and you turn and you walk away and the baby is starting to crawl or whatever, learn how to flip and roll and he or she rolls off the changing table. That happens every day. But yes, nothing could happen. Your child could get up totally fine. But then some children could get up and have could literally have a concussion from that and could have even had like a slight brain bleed and you know nothing about it. And so when I look at my oldest son, I'm like, man, he had such a tough life being premature and just went through so many bumps and bruises as a young kid. And you know, he used to go to sleep like baming his head up against the bed. And I'm like, "Yeah, that's not like full trauma force, but your brain still hitting that skull." Like, what if that had an effect on him to this day? And so, a lot of times we don't think about that on that mental health side of things. And that's something to really process. Y'all forgive my wife text me because I was just asking her if it's anything going on. in out there in the relationship space that she done seen by now she sending me this story. So I'm going to do a video about this. And so this something to think about and I want y'all to like if you are a single mom and the reason why I'm saying single mom specifically just because men they're single dads but men we're wired differently and we are we men we know more so how to be selfish. There are women who know how to be selfish and sometimes women are selfish to a different degree. What I mean by men being selfish, like we may go golfing or fishing or have a guys night and, you know, have some drinks or, you know, stuff like that. Whereas the women who are selfish, they leave a child home by their self for three days and go out get get fooled out by Chris Brown, you know, like they say the lady Drea Michelle did to her child. Like you see that type of stuff. But men and women are built different and you have different flaws. Neither of us are perfect. But to the single moms, what I want you to really think about, and I was talking to a client yesterday and telling her like, "Listen, even as simple as getting that foot tub from from the drugstore, from CVS or Walgreens, and filling it up with some hot water and some Epsom salt and putting your feet in there, letting your feet soak like something as simple as that. like put you some Epsom salt in there, put you some lavender in there and just let your feet soak and and then you feel me like go through that right there. Like now I'm talking about I'm going to do that for my wife tonight. Just let her feet soaked and take it out and dry them then lotion them lotion them and just do that right there for yourself and relight. I never tell you to get you no toy or nothing like that, but I know some of y'all already got your toys and you going to do that. But you don't want to make that your soul thing to where you just around there weighing yourself out that battery going dead and you just around there just w out to the floor up. So then when you get on Destiny, which we changed to Destiny, when you get on the destinyapp.com and meet your husband, now he can't bring you no pleasure cuz you done got so used to them toys to where you magnificent down there and a man will just never be able to please you cuz you didn't become such an expert with them toys. So, soak your feet. Get you the little face mask things where it's where it's the one that you either apply and then rinse off or it's like the the mask that you put on and just kick back. Get on Alibaba. Get you a red light mask. Get you just different things that you can woo. If you need to get a a organic diffuser, if that's such a thing where the put the essential oils in there, let that diffuser go like get that right there. Y'all forgive right my wife and telling her to get that diffuse. I think we got one in our gym. Eat that lavender. Help you sleep. Whatever. Help you sleep and create your own routine. Like the thing about it is your nervous system be shot and you don't take action. You don't give yourself no momentum. You just you just melt into the bed and you get on social media and you watch a bunch of junk and you scroll a bunch of junk and you stressed and you tired and then you get online and compare your life to all these other women, all these married women. women getting push presents and and all you did was get pushed when you was pregnant and you watching women get push presents go on to Maldes and Turks and Caos vacations and next thing you know you sadder you more sad you depressed you crying you talking to God you about to get attitude with God about to cuss God out because you comparing your life comparing your behind the scenes to other people highlight reels and and this is what I'm saying like for example the lady when she took her kids life her husband wasn't there and so he was out you know at work or whatever he was doing and she take the kid's life but it's like yeah she feel like a a single mom like you you in postpartum, you having mental health issues, and then your husband leave you with three whole kids by yourself. Like, absolutely not. Like, if I'm with a woman and I see she going through mentally and she she been showing little signs, man, I ain't leaving my kids with her. Absolutely not. If I got I don't care where I got to go to the store. If I'm going to work, I'm f to sell me some drug to pay for daycare. not leaving kids with you and you going through mentally and all of that and your not as no father. Not going to do that. And I see though me having two boys, my oldest son who had a rougher life than my younger son, but he like he very direct. He very real and raw. like he get that from me unfortunately cuz you know he was raised by somebody that will will slice you to threads with words and so he is very real and raw and direct and sometimes he could hurt his mama feelings and and he'll get you know testy and stuff like that with me too but I just I just you know sidestep it cuz I know I be done knocked his head off and I I realized he understand what he be feeling and what he be going through. And then I also realized of my flaws and how I raised him and how I would talk to him and treat him sometimes. So I know he got a lot of, you know, anger or resentment for not understanding my methods and how I as a father and I know that he'll understand it when he becomes a father. So, I give him that grace because I've never abused him or mistreated him or abandoned him, but I was always real with him. I was always strict with him, always direct with him. and he'll understand later that I'm the reason he's not in the street selling drugs and he's not sleeping with a bunch of women and he's not getting in trouble and getting bad grades and getting kicked out of school. He'll understand that later. And so I give him that grace. But I could only imagine if I was not in his life the headache he would be for his mom. And that's why my heart goes out to single moms because I just really don't believe a mom can fully raise a heterosexual male alone like without putting reinforcements and systems and structure around him. So like you got to put him around healthy masculine men that will check him that and you got to be okay with a man who you know is healthy kind of like the guy the Jason Wilson guy who does the karate or whatever he does like his relationship with them boys like that type of healthy masculinity to where he gonna challenge you and he going to hold you accountable, but he doing it out of love and you got to have that. No, you don't want no trauma ridden man cursing your child out like that's not necessary. But a man who's gonna have rules and have standards, but he's going to do it from love. Not from his trauma, not from his pain, not from his failures in in life, but from love. And I wouldn't put the child in boxing or football or anything that comes with consistent head trauma. And to be honest with you, I would take and do something. I would work one job. I would get a dayshift job. I would get a good afterchool program for my son if I was a single mom. So that if I'm working from 8 to 5, if I'm working till 5:00 p.m. and I would make less money and live more frugal and creative just to have a day job. I would never work nights and leave my son with somebody else. I don't care what it is. I if I got to take 20,000 less and go from 90,000 to 70,000 to not work the night shift as a as a nurse, I would work the teleaalth day shift and make 20 $30,000 less so that I'm home at night with my child so that I know he's not watching porn and he's not staying up late and he's not getting into stuff that he shouldn't be into. I would never work nights as a single mom. I will work at McDonald's because your child don't know the difference. Like your child, yes, it get to the day to where they need Nikes or stuff like that, but you can make a way and make that right there happen. And so I would definitely a thousand% do that and get to that place where you can work the day shift your child get out of school before you get off. Get a good after school program which is probably right at the school or get a daycare that has the bus and picks them up. Don't let them ride the bus home alone. And if you have to strip, strip. Like if you got to sell toep pics, sell toepics. Like at the end of the day, ain't nobody judging you for what you got to do to make money. Just make sure it's legal. And I don't literally mean strip. So take the life coach certification. Get on my mentor.life. Take the take the entrepreneurship with purpose. Get in the purpose pushes. That right there, right? So you could make money from your purpose. Like it's a million ways to make money. You know, I've made over eight figures without a college degree, which means over eight figures, meaning over $10 million doing what I do. So, it's possible. And it's possible for anybody. And you just have to be creative. You got to be willing. You got to be consistent. But get a day job. Get to where you can drive your child to school. put your child in a school that has the morning program. So if you got to go to work at 7:30, have the program where you drop them off and they go to the cafeteria at 7 a.m. So you dropping them right at 7. Then boom, you able to get to work by 7:30. If not, get you a third bedroom, a three-bedroom apartment, and let your mom or somebody you know you know, love, and trust move in to drop him off. But if you can avoid him riding the bus to school and from school, then try to do that to where you drop him off and you pick him up. If you can't pick him up, then he's only taking the daycare van, the aftercare van to the afterare place, but you kind of even want to try to get around that if you can. So, if you could take your lunch later to where if he gets out at 3:00, instead of taking your lunch at noon, take your lunch at 3 and you can go pick him up, drop him off to your mom house or what have you. Also, see if you could get a job or got a job to where you could bring him back up to the office with you. bring him to the job with you if he got to sit in the lobby and get on get him a tablet, get him a laptop. He could do his work. Like, be creative. You have not cuz you asked not. Seek for what you want to find and get in a situation where you can be in your son's life. And same if you got a daughter because they they getting stolen too. They get away too. So, be there. be present, be in their life, be locked in, be focused, and just really get to that place to where you are you strong, you confident, you consistent, you you really doing Y'all forgive my son, text him. You really doing what you got to do. and and [clears throat] you got to do what you got to do. And so be creative. And the key is is love and presence. So you like Tayen Sheree she she will and it's and it's unfair is it's unfortunate and that's why that's why I push what I push on marriage and relationship because Sheree she get to she get to get up and cook Tayen breakfast, drive him to school, then she get to go pick him up from school, bring him home, you know, help him with his homework, then get him ready, get him a sandwich, then she take him to soccer practice. She bring him home from soccer practice. She do more school work with him. If he got a day off from soccer practice, then he get to get on his game, play Roblox or whatever. But if it's a time where he not on his game, then she sit down and teach him how to play my he learn how to play Mjang. A lot of y'all probably don't know what I'm talking about when I say my is the game from the movie Crazy Rich Asians. And that's one of my wife favorite movies. So now they got Mai clubs. My wife be going to Ma parties and it's something that the stay-at-home moms do. And the white women, she'd be the only black person there. And so she'll play games with them like that, you know, and just she'll go outside and train them. She'll take them to run, take them to do sprints, take them to take shots, and she'll get on YouTube and watch drills and videos, and she'll take them to train them, and she don't know what she doing. And like when I go out there, it'd be a lot that I have that I could add to it and a lot that I do add to it and just could do it at a way higher level, but I be here working with you and filming videos for you. And so I can't really be there cuz I have to work. So she go out and do it. And she was a college athlete. But imagine the single moms Imagine the single moms uh who they got to work, you know, and and they are they the mom and dad for my son in group chat. I got to be in cool chat. And so it's one of those things And so he's It was a soccer drama and and that's so I'm praying for y'all and listen I know sometime moms come to me and be like Tony you know I want you to work on the son but unfortunately I can't because I just don't have the time and I tried and failed. I did the boys club, put some videos in there and just try to make it something super duper cheap, you know, $47 for the whole year and I failed because I got a family of my own and I got two boys and one day I'mma get the capacity and I may get a group of guys who can lead the cause and we'll we'll give it another shot. And y'all got to forgive me for dropping the ball on the last one, but y'all see how much I be having going on. I'd be running four, five companies at one time. And so it's one of those things. But we'll try it again. And I'm I may get with Pierre and Caleb and try to split up the calls to where we do a call a week and I only have to do one and then I let my dad do one, let Pierre do one, let Caleb do one and that get us through a month and you know just charge a very nominal fee, just something super small so I could bless them at least and we just build that up. So, I I consider bringing the boys club back. But those of y'all who are raising boys and even if you're in a two parent home, it don't hurt for your son to have outside voices. And we just choose a day of the week. But if your son in sports, he he won't be able to make it all the time because he's practicing. So, we choose a day of the week, maybe even Friday night, like 6:00 p. on beforehour date nights and before you know he he before he get on his game or it might be in between getting on the game but something like that to where we not interrupting his his practice schedule and and I'm going tell y'all something too like I know it's hard I know it's a lot but if you have a son who is any form of athletic even if he can't do football well I don't think anybody should do football is a little too much head trauma too dangerous But if he can't do basketball, let's say his dad is not tall, you're not tall, and it's going to be just an uphill battle. And but he could do baseball for sure. Soccer is not an American sport, so it's really hard to make it in soccer. But if he's really fast and athletic, then he can make it in soccer. He sure can. But I would do tennis and golf. I ain't gonna lie to you because it's so many levels of pro and just our skills as black people, our athleticism, our spatial reasoning. We will be so good in tennis and golf. Look at Tafo and he's not even anywhere near the peak of of African athleticism. Like he would probably like running in a sprint and like jumping. he probably would be just seen as just like another black guy. But this guy's at the top of the top in tennis because the more athletic you are, the better you're going to be once you learn the game. And so we got, can you imagine like Travis Hunter who played for Deion Sanders in college and now he on the Jaguars. Could you imagine him playing tennis? That man so African like he could have went to the NBA. He could have played baseball. If that man would have played baseball, he would have been the greatest ever. But we choose football, this very brutal sport that that you don't get the return on your investment. So be creative. There's foundations out there that'll pay for your child trainings and lessons. There's people you just can't let them hold the money. The money has to come to you when your child goes pro. You can't let it go to the the white men and you got to pay them from the money. But there's people who will train your child for free in golf and tennis and whatever. I'mma add a program to my nonprofit for that to rate. So basically the boys summer program that's also what that is to help people pay their fees for their sports to where we just pay it directly to the club. So the link is in the bio y'all whenever you just you ain't got nowhere else to be a blessing to click that link for the boys summer program and we're going to be covering people fees totally and outright for specialized sports. We're not paying a $35 football fee. I'm talking about for golf, baseball, tennis, stuff like that. And he got to keep his grades up. He got to have good behavior. He got to do all of that. Got to do all of that. But hey, this Tony Gins, God bless you. I'm praying for y'all and we will So, what I'm going to start doing is like if I meet a strong single mom who, you know, was a single mom and raised her kids and and now she's a life coach and she's taking my life coach certification, I may partner with her to kind of lead like the mom's circle and to do like monthly group calls and and eventually like group retreats or group conferences and stuff like that. So, what I'm going to be doing is because I can't do everything myself and I can't run everything, then I'm going to be delegating and just, you know, I'll be sharing the links or whatever, but I'll be delegating and just going from there. So, if you are a life coach on my mentor.life life and you are a single mom, meaning you raise kids by yourself and they are adults now and you know doing okay, not strung out on drugs and you learn some things through the process that you want to help other moms, then reach out to me and I'll just put your name on a short list for when I get ready to launch that and we'll get that going. It'll be through Tony Gasson's Academy. It just be like a little hub where you can go and join and that's where all the recorded calls and stuff will be. And Tony Gas Academy is still up and thriving. And even though I got the school community, I I ain't going to end Tony Gas Academy. Even though they tell you to just have one place, no, bro. I got to be diversified. And I got too many courses to just shut down Tony Gas Academy. And so, and that's something I own outright. Whereas school, they kind of own your traffic and own your money. Your money go to them, then they pay you. You don't get paid right away. And so, that's why I like Tony Gas Academy because I I'm in the ownership seat. And but God bless you. Keep your head up. Keep going. I know my coaching sessions right now for single moms may not be affordable, but we have many other coaches on my mentor.life that you can just talk to. You don't need no big old type of preaching sermon. You just need somebody to talk to, get some feedback from, and go from there. My dad is still coaching. He hasn't set up his new profile on my mentor.life, like, but if you need him, then just reach out to me and I'll connect you with him. Shoot you his email or send you to his site cuz he had a separate site where you could book them at. And but God bless you. Keep your head up, keep going, and we'll be in touch.