Overcome ANGER and Help Others with Danny Trejo | Impact Theory

Everything that I went through, everything that I learned, everything that I think [music] brought me to the person that I am today. I don't think I could have been as redeemed if I hadn't been basically a sociopath. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire to to be in somebody that just I care about people. I care about animals. Every morning I wake [music] up, I say my prayers and I I ask God, let me help as many people as I can today. And that's the way I live my life. That's the way everybody around me lives their life. Everybody, welcome to another episode of Impact Theory. I am here with a living icon, the one, the only Danny Trejo. Danny, welcome to the show. Dude, your new book Trejo, nice and simply titled, is breathtaking. I read every word of it. Um I actually didn't know your background. So, I knew you I'm a film buff. I'm a total psychopath. So, I've seen you a bazillion zillion times, but didn't know um how you came up. For people that don't know your background, give us like the quick sort of 60-second sketch of how we go from convict to icon. Just, you know, it's like a uh I had an uncle that showed me everything that I was needed to know when I got to San Quentin prison. And uh you know, it was really simple. The transition was very easy from from juvenile hall, camp, youth authority, prison, prison, prison. And uh and uh I I became a well-known person in in in prison simply because of my boxing. I I I was lightweight and welterweight champion of every institution I [clears throat] was in. And that's Thank my uncle Gilbert for that. He he uh taught me how to fight. Time I was 8 years old and uh But he didn't teach you how to fight. He was like throwing rocks and bricks Yeah, he would throw rocks. He would throw rocks. He would throw rocks. I would duck them. You know, I got a couple of scars from when I wasn't quick enough to duck. But you know what? It was funny. It really showed me that uh I don't want to get hit. So What would you attribute the difficulties to? Obviously, you don't end up in prison because things are going well. You end up in prison because things have come off the rails. You talk a lot about in the book about there wasn't love in your household. Um you know, even your mom you said didn't want kids. That was my stepmom. I kind of My dad married my stepmom to take care of me. But you know, we found out my she didn't really like kids. And uh my dad was a tyrant. You know what I mean? It's like there wasn't They were I have never met met anybody as tough as my dad. And uh And uh my whole family was that way. I My dad came from five brothers, you know, six sisters. And the five brothers were all you know, the trail name was well known, you know, and uh For being tough and fighters and um being involved in gangs and all that. Yeah. And uh well, not so much gangs cuz they were a gang. And and but but the only one that I kind of gravitated to was my Uncle Gilbert. He was the youngest and I guess of like what? 11 kids. So So my grandmother and grandfather were all done with like bringing up kids. So me and me and Gilbert kind of like tied up. I was the only child and we were only like 6 years apart. So he was my mentor and uh and uh he happened to be a drug addict and an armed robber and a fighter. He was a He was the welterweight champion of the paratroopers when he was in the paratroopers. So So he could always fight, you know, and and uh that's what he taught me, you know, and all. Yeah, see that's what's really interesting to me. So, I don't know how much you know about my background, but I've I've ended up working in the inner cities a lot. And my last company was a manufacturing company. So, we had 3,000 employees, a thousand of them had grown up in the inner cities because when you're manufacturing, you know, you're in Compton, you're in Paramount, you're in like all these sort of rough and tumble neighborhoods. And because I believe it doesn't matter where you started, it just matters where you want to go, we told everybody, "Hey, we will hire you. We'll consider you for employment even if you have felony convictions." And you know, that isn't something that a lot of people do. So, we had people line up around the building just for a chance to be interviewed. And it was it was crazy, but what I began to realize is intelligence is evenly distributed. But, who you look up to, what you're being taught to do, how you're being taught to think is not uh always useful. So, you know, like you said, when you went to juvenile hall, suddenly you're around a whole bunch of other Mexicans and you think, "Oh, this is where Mexicans are meant to be." And so, what's interesting to me is, all right, so, what I I talk about the inner cities a lot that it breaks most of the people that it touches. So, most of the people that grow up in the inner cities, they're they're [ __ ] forever. And it's just they never get back on track. And you were in the prison system, you've been in and out your entire youth, but you end up on a 10-year stretch for selling drugs to an undercover cop. And what I want to know is how you go about unwinding all that. Like, you're known as like this ultra hardcore badass. Obviously, for I I don't know if you use the term putting in work, but that's what the guys uh that that I worked with always said. Like, guys with teardrop tattoos and stuff. I was like, "What does that mean?" They're like, "Oh, he put in work." Uh so, you'd obviously earned a reputation for yourself. So, you're the the king of the pile in inside in prison. How and why do you undo all of that to sort of start at the bottom again? You know, uh [clears throat] the thing that I've realized about prison, it's easy to be a big fish in a little pond. You know, and uh basically, you know, if you do something when you first get there that makes people take notice, you you automatically kind of like pushed a lot of people away from you that would uh that would uh come at you. What makes somebody take notice? I always say I always say that there's only two kinds of people in in prison. There's predator and there's prey. And you have to figure I'm going to be a predator or you'll be prey. It's it's very simple, you know, and uh You talk in the book about how if you're going to go and be a shot caller in prison, if you're going to go and be a predator, you have to find a sociopathic place in your mind. Like you have to groom yourself, you have to strip yourself of humanity so that you can assert yourself and be dominant. Which I find incredibly interesting. So, I very much believe that the the human animal is capable of great atrocity and great beauty and everything in between. What's so Beautiful. interesting is that you have crossed both. You start your life learning how to fight. And and this is one of the the cool stories in the book. So, you're I don't know, 12 or something like that. You'd only been around women or maybe you were younger than that at this point. But you pee squatting. Yeah. And your cousin basically makes fun of you, mocks you, and it's like, was my uncle. not That was my uncle Gilbert. We were going fishing and we I was like 8 years old and I had to pee. So, I sat down I squatted down and he pushed me. He said, "WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING?" And all my girl cousins we we all peed. I didn't want to be the only one standing. You know, and and uh and uh and that's when I realized, you know, I I think I went from from being Shirley Temple to John Wayne in a day. You know, and finding out that that you know, men don't pee sitting down, men don't like kittens, men hate flowers, you know, I mean just all this stuff that used to be great with my grandma. I'd draw her a flower. She'd go, "Oh, mijo, eres un angelito." And you know, that [ __ ] don't go anymore, you know, I mean? And uh and it's like I thank God for my uncle Gilbert, you know, I mean? Cuz guys that pee sitting down don't make it in the pen. [laughter] See, that's what's interesting. What What I love about your story and and anybody that's listening to this right now, I just I cannot encourage you enough to to stay with us as we go through this whole journey because of course it comes full circle to the Danny Trejo that everybody knows um who, you know, has dedicated the vast majority of his life to helping people get off drugs, to helping people on Skid Row. I mean, just like one of the most generous humans alive. But it starts with you still show gratitude for Gilbert for helping prepare you. Though it'd be pretty easy to say that Gilbert is part of the reason that you end up in trouble in the first place. Why is it that you're grateful to Gilbert even now? Everything that I went through, everything that I learned, everything that I think brought me to the person that I am today. I don't think I could have been as redeemed if I hadn't been basically a sociopath. You know, Uh, I don't know if that was right, but I I went to [snorts] to I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. To to be in somebody that just I care about people. I care about animals. I I you know, I just care. I I every morning I wake up, I say my prayers and I I ask God, let me help as many people as I can today. And that's the way I live my life. That's the way everybody around me lives their life. Now, in your book, you you don't you don't seem to try in any way, shape, or form to sugarcoat what you did, what you've been through. Why? Why not try to make yourself sound better in the early rough days? You know, uh, I had a guy once that showed me his book. He'd been in prison and stuff, you know. And me and he gave it to me and Eddie Bunker. I won't mention his name, but he [clears throat] gave it to me and Eddie Bunker and we read it. And Eddie was a prolific writer, prolific. I learned that since we've been like in the in writing books. But, uh, but he said, you know, this guy didn't show his ass. I mean, it's it's a biog- you nobody's nobody's that tough, Holmes. And I said, one thing that I got about the book, I said, you know, I know this guy, man. He wasn't all that tough. And so, when we started writing this book, it was kind of like like, uh, a confession almost, you know, and uh, and we got down to it and then, uh, I gave it to Maeve, who is my kids' mom. We've been together for 35 years, you know, but we haven't been together, but we've been involved for 35 years, you know, and uh, and, uh, she read it. She's probably the only woman that I ever confided in, you know, and uh, and she said, you know, it's great. It's great, you know, you sound like a white guy. I said, what do you mean?" I said, "Danny, I mean you're just like you know you're you're a wonderful person." And it's like, "What made you you know, what made you?" It's like, you know, yeah, we all know you're tough. We all But what made you?" And he said, "What about your mom? What about your dad?" I said, "Well, that's their business." He said, "Danny, why do you think you've been married four times? Why do you think you've had children with women you weren't married to? Because you spent more times on the streets than you did at home." Yeah, it's interesting in the book how you break that stuff down from a psychological perspective of why, you know, where some of that stuff comes from and, you know, all the different things that you're trying to work through which to me is so important to that arc of redemption of getting your life back on track of going from, you know, using drugs to finding sobriety to staying sober. And I'm curious like if you were to think of um redemption or turning your life around as a recipe, what are some of the ingredients? Like why did it work for you? Well, I think I think one of the reason one of the reasons like in in in in the program I'm in in AA, we do inventories, inventories, inventories. And I did inventories on myself, on myself, on myself, on myself. And but I never got into wait a minute, man. What what made me? You know, it's like something you know, why why have you married four times? But the reality was wait a minute, it's me. You know, there's a reason why why, you know, that uh my motto my family's motto was uno en la calle y uno en la casa, one in the one at home, one on the streets. You know, and that's what I grew up with and that's not that's that's that's not good for like a marriage. [laughter] What is the process of doing inventory? So, how do you begin to think through, okay, this isn't working. I'm married a bunch. What's that process? You know what? It's like you come down to you're only as sick as your secrets. Remember that. You're only as sick as your secrets. Your secrets you won't tell anybody. Your secrets is what you think about just before you fall asleep. So, it's like you start putting that stuff down. That's incredible. Walk people through it. So, when you first get out, you go back to the neighborhood that you grew up in. So, these are people that you robbed, terrorized, all of that. How do you begin to rebuild your reputation? Let me tell [clears throat] you something. The first day I was out I was out I got out on a Saturday. Sunday, I was standing out in front of my mom's house. And I didn't know how to tell people I wasn't drinking. So, I had a double shot glass with some Coke soda in it and and ice. So, it looked like I was drinking. And I was I'm sipping and I'm passing Guys would go by the neighborhood. Hey, what's up? Yeah. Look like I was drinking. I had I had soda. And Monday was trash day. And this is before they had them big rolling kind of trash cans. They used to put everything in a tub and drag it out. And I seen this one lady dragging her trash out, right? And uh I went over to help her. I'll never forget what she said. She said, "DANNY, NO ME ROB US." Do you know Danny, don't rob me, you know. And I said, "Shut up, vieja." And I I went and I grabbed her trash can and I pulled it out. Then I went to her backyard to get her other trash can. She never took her eyes off me. She knew. She knew I was going to break for that garage and take her lawn mower to take something I could sell. And uh I didn't. I grabbed the trash can and pulled it out and then I just walked away. And I can remember this big sigh of relief [sighs] of that she had. And then I can remember feeling like, "Wow." You know, and walking to my mom's. And that's what I started doing. I went around the block and I went to the neighbors' yards and I pulled out the old people's trash, you know. They watch that Venetian blind open, you they knew. They knew I was Some of them, the next time I did it, they had a lock on their garage door cuz they knew I was setting them up for something. You know, and and that's what I did. The first present I ever got was a a a fake suede double-breasted jacket that the old man with really bad He had chronic arthritis in his hands and he couldn't move I think about him every day cuz I started getting arthritis in this in this uh hand and it's like every time I think of that old man cuz he couldn't grab his trash cans. He would have to like kick out the tub, he drag it out, you know, so I dig him out for him and he gave me that suede jacket, fake suede, but it was real popular in the in the '60s. [laughter] It's so interesting to me that, you know, as you something so simple, right? So, you are whoo, heavy [ __ ] man. You outline it all in the book from, you know, armed robberies, a lot of violence, you stab a guy in the face with a broken bottle. Like this was not light [ __ ] This was like super intense. Um and then, you know, it starts with helping people in prison and then it's taking people's trash out, then it's mowing the lawn of a woman who has a just horrendously tragic story. And you know, this idea that the people that have the most in their life are the people that give the most to others. And it's, you know, kind of cliche, but cliches become cliches for a reason because they're true. And so, when you think about people getting sober cuz you've spent so much of your life helping other people um get and maintain sobriety, what is that role of helping other people? Why do you think it's so important? I think that's the way God wants us to live. I think that's the way humanity should live. I I if more people thought like that, we wouldn't be in the problems we're in. We wouldn't have these wars going on. We wouldn't have you know, these two countries fighting. We wouldn't have this hatred. We wouldn't have old people getting beat up on the streets, you know what I mean? It's like crazy. It's like me and we got about four friends that we walk around at night on at Koreatown just to make sure that people don't you know, just just don't let us get somebody beating up a old person, you know? And cuz I'm old. I'm 77. [ __ ] [laughter] Start smacking me, see what happens, you know? And so we you we just try to do whatever we can. And it's like I honestly believe that's the way God wants us to live. My life is like a dream. You know, like my assistant Mario Castillo, I met him in San Quentin and we talked about about I was doing Blood In, Blood Out. He was a resident. He refuses to be called an inmate or [laughter] I was a resident. And so so uh uh we talked about staying clean, staying sober. Eight years later, I I run into him in a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and we become friends. [snorts] And then he got sick and couldn't work. So I said, "You know what? Come on, work for me." So he started being my assistant, right? Driving me around and stuff and we've been friends 22 years, yeah. No, man. That that really is incredible and the idea of serving other people as a way to find sort of a whole new life, to redefine yourself, to stay in the straight narrow makes a lot of sense to me. I'm always talking to people about there's just certain things hardwired in our brains as humans and one of them is you're a social animal. And so you want to fit in. You want to impress other people, but you also want to do something that is of service to the group. And that man, if you feel like [ __ ] if you are thinking ill of yourself, the fastest way to begin to turn that around is to do something for somebody else. got it. You got it, man. Be of service. That's it, man. Yeah, Danny, it your life is really such an extraordinary like you've met President Barack Obama. You've been in 350 films or some crazy [ __ ] like that. You've been in just absolute legendary films like Heat and Con Air. I mean, it's it's really really pretty extraordinary and you didn't start acting I think until your what late 30s, early 40s. So, you know, the fact that you've been able to turn it around, that's like the thing that I really want people to take away from your story and I hope that they read the book. The takeaway for me on the way that you move in the world and the way that you help people like you're talking about now comes back to the idea that you were mentioning early or which is you know, you said, "Look, I think part of why I've had the redemption cycle that I've had is because I was a sociopath." Now, I'll I'll frame it a little bit differently and say, "You have so much credibility." This idea you outlined in the book about being a padrino and I had to look it up uh and in Spanish it's like uh a godfather or somebody that looks after you, a protector. And part of what gives you the credibility though is that you came up so hard that you earned so much credibility and then turned it around and started helping other people. And it's what you do is give people hope that they really can change. They really can become something new and that to me is breathtaking, man. I went into the pen. Last time I went to the pen, I was with Quinton and uh one of the guys says uh one that's one of the one of the guys the most beautiful thing they ever said to me, "Hey, Treyo." Yeah, what's up, man? "You're the hope giver." Oh, and I said I said, "What [laughter] the What's that?" He said, "Yeah, you know, and guys doing life, you know, and and uh and we've really helped like a lot of lifers come out of the pen. A lot of kids that committed crimes when they were 15, 16, 17. You're a different man when you're 35 and 40. Giving hope, man, is is absolutely [ __ ] legendary. It is so incredible how committed you've remained to reaching back and helping other people come out of that. Um uh one thing I want to talk about cuz this is this is very interesting to me. So, there's a Goldilocks zone in like everything, right? So, there's the the pathological version of, you know, being tough and being a man and [ __ ] um you know, being willing to stab somebody or whatever, but then there's also like just not taking a step backwards. You you you talk a lot about how part of how you earned your reputation was like, "I'm not going to [ __ ] with you, but if you [ __ ] with me, then I'm not going to back down from that." Do you think that there is value in being tough, or do you think that that just it's always going to go to a toxic place? I'm going to say this, and a lot of people always think you're crazy when you say it, but the bottom line to an argument is a murder, okay? And uh I've watched I've watched dirty looks turn into a murder. All right, and so uh it's a it's a real thin line. It's like just turned into something that nobody wants any part of. You know, and the way I was brought up was I don't argue with anybody, you know, and to this day you know, uh I'll see people arguing, I'll back away, and I I see you start arguing with me, I'll back away cuz you're not going to change my mind. If I if I really believe in something, you're not going to change my mind. I'm not going to get I'm going to I'm not going to fight over politics or over religion or over cuz my politics, my religion, my sports, that's my business. That's here. I don't care what yours is. You know what I mean? It's like, "Oh, so you like the Jets? Okay, cool." You know, it's like, "All right, this Yay, you'll go Rams." Doesn't matter. You know, but yet I've seen people beat up other people cuz they got on a San Francisco hat or a Rams hat or You know, it's like, "Wait a minute, man. That's like You know, that's again, you know, again that's that stupidity. That's that borderline psychotic." You know, and [clears throat] like remember I told you like I got away from that. I don't like that guy. That guy's dangerous. That guy's bad. And you won't catch me with that guy. You know, and that there's been a couple of times that that I've chased people off the freeway. And then, whoa, I stop. You just wait a minute. What am I doing? You know, it's like, "You trail, what the [ __ ] wrong with you?" You know, and it's I've always been I've always been able to put myself in front of a judge. And and and "Danny, why did you beat that man to death?" "Sir, he gave me the finger." You know, it's what the [ __ ] you know, it's like so You're saying you run that in your head and it just sounds stupid? Oh, yeah. Yeah. When you have somebody first coming out of jail or getting off of drugs, what is like the first thing that you tell them? Is it step one of the 12-step program or or something else? How do you help them establish like a a new way of thinking? And in fact, what is the first uh the first step? Stay close. You know what I mean? You got to stay close. You First of all, to people that are on the straight and narrow, you mean? Clean and straight. And then you got to admit that you're powerless over drugs and alcohol. You know what I mean? And only a power greater than yourselves can And it doesn't It's like immediately, "Oh, you mean God?" No, I don't mean anything. The ocean is more powerful than you. You know what I mean? And I remember when people have trouble with the power greater than I said, "Okay, well, come on. Let's go to the beach. Stop that wave. Just stop that one wave." And I you You know what I mean? And I had a sponsor that has actually had me out there trying to stop waves. You know what I mean? And here come one do it doesn't work. You know what I mean? And so, it's like you understand that there are things on this earth more powerful than you. Your body of work is crazy big. You've been in so many films. It's crazy. So many legendary films across from legendary actors. You've been number one on the call sheet. Um you know, worked with extraordinary directors. It's crazy. But what do you want your legacy to be? Do you want it to be being the first Mexican superhero? Do you want it to be something else? No, God. I just want it to be a great dad. I want to be great dad. My kids love me and I'm I'm I'm so proud of that. I'm so proud of what they're doing. You know what I mean? And And I know that sounds hokey cuz I you know, I I don't give a [ __ ] I just want to die with dignity and you know, my kids love me. You know what I mean? That's it. It's There's What What else is there? It's like I got a beautiful home. I got a nice yard. I got cars. I got everything I want. You know what I mean? But the most important thing to me is the the the look I got in my daughter's eyes when when I said, "Please move back you from Ohio." She's coming back and and I I got it. I got a little key. We rented an apartment this And to be able to do all that and and uh And my son directed me and David Hasselhoff in a music video and and my my son Danny Boy won in some kind of gaming contest. You know what I mean? So, that's what they do. You know, they love they love what they do and they get to do what they love. And what more can you ask for? That's me. That's my life. I love what I do and I get to do what I love. It's awesome, man. You really do bring a lot of hope to people. It is so extraordinary the life you've lived. The book is amazing. Um I really was blown away. It is such a powerful story. You drag people through the mud. You show them what it was really like. Um and then show them what that path to redemption looks like. I I definitely help people check that out. It is not easy to help somebody in the best of circumstances, but being able to help people that have spent that much time in prison or been on drugs, it's you know, it's a pretty crazy ride, man. But you know, somebody like you that's had such an extraordinary career that you spent so much time helping other people is is amazing and I'm so happy to see the kind of success you've had. So um thank you, man, for coming on the show. And everybody watching, speaking of things that are incredible, if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care. I needed these little these restrictions to give me some form to give me some sense of structure where I can just feel my feet on the ground and go, "I'm holding my head above water going through this time, but at least I know what rope to hold on to." And it's these disciplines that I've put in front of myself.