On the Waterfront: Big Brothers Big Sisters of New Hampshire & Vermont

Burlington on Lake Champ. Whatever the weather, there's lots to do on the new waterfront. Hi, welcome to On the Waterfront. I'm your host, Mariah Riggs, and this month I'm excited to have people from Big Brothers Big Sisters of New Hampshire in Vermont. Uh, with me today, I have Amy Perry, director of development and partnerships. >> Hello. >> Hi, Amy. And I have Nicole McShane, the chief philanthropy officer. Hi, Nicole. >> Hi, Mariah. Thanks for having us. >> Yeah, welcome to the program. >> Yeah. So, um, really quickly, um, I'm sure some of you know all about Big Brothers and Big Sisters, but for those of our audience who don't know what Big Brothers and Big Sisters does, um, can you explain it to them? >> Yeah, go ahead. >> Um, so we are a nonprofit organization that creates and supports evidence-based mentoring relationships. Um we provide um uh relationships for uh youth ages 6 to 18. We match them up with a caring volunteer um who is there for them, who uh supports them, guides them, um provides um consistency in their life. So >> yeah, absolutely. I think just someone in their corner, you know, that like they can just have for them. I think a lot of us I mean everyone could use a mentor, right? Yeah. Um so it's a good opportunity for them to just have somebody that's just for them that will be there on the sidelines and you know help them you know go for the walk and um you know support through a friendship that can hopefully last a lifetime. >> So it's relationship building is this foundational support. >> Absolutely. >> So I have to get back to a term you just used because I'm really curious. Evidencebased mentor >> mentoring relationships. Okay. Can you explain that to those of us who don't know what that means? Because I have done mentorships before. >> I know they were not evidence-based. So, what exactly does that mean? Um so evidence-based is um well SC I I I think we understand the scientific thing [laughter] but what's the difference between a traditional just kind of mentorship where you kind of like guide something and maybe the program that's evidence-based that that um Big Brothers and Big Sisters does >> is is there do you not know? It's so >> we we're evidence-based in the sense that yeah, you know, our our data from our successes with our matches is has been proven to be something that >> in long term, you know, helps these youth like truly does like they are known to, you know, graduate higher percentage of folks that graduate high school. They are the ones that, you know, can grow into um, you know, the next best community member and like all It's not a specific system. It's more of a legacy of doing the work for so long that Big Brothers and Big Sisters actually knows how their process works the best >> to have the best success rates that it can put forth. >> Absolutely. So that we've been able to do research on it and to see where these youth end up and and we're seeing that they're making healthier choices and they're making um you know they're more confident in themselves and they are they're staying in school. They're um not um acting out as much. they're not they're making good choices um not getting involved in drugs or or um bad behavior, things like that. So, we get to see that when they're mentored um the research that we've done has shown the comparison of mentored youth versus non-mentored youth. >> Oh, I can imagine it's significantly different. Huge. I mean again like you know when children are not being guided or they don't have role models to look up to right especi trust me I have to my youngest is 18 and now just went to college so but I've been through it [laughter] and um you know having people who can lead by example >> um having people who are checking up on you >> um answering to somebody being responsible for somebody or somebody is you know cares about your outcomes um all those kinds of things I know from having two teenagers >> that you know those things are incredibly important to support you as you go through that transition. >> Absolutely. Yeah. And we definitely, you know, it's >> it's it's really important that you know that it's it's really like these mentorship like the relationships are just so natural like they're they're just they're friendships. We're not asking our volunteers to be superheroes, right? We always say like no cape required because it truly is just being being a friend, being someone in their corner. Um and it it's a very natural natural relationship that grows. >> Yeah. And especially now with children, you know, they're saying there's a huge um incidence of, you know, children that are more isolated because of social media. They're not getting out as much. They're not getting those connections. Right. >> Absolutely. >> And so what you guys are doing through your mentoring program is really giving that base of support for children. >> Yes. So um you know as we come back to this can you tell me a little bit um you know first of all let's get into this how do how do children enter big brothers big sisters um and how do they end up becoming part of the mentorship program first we'll start with the students and >> sure yeah so you know what's great about this program is we have you know folks referring like their parents are referring them their guardians um you know whoever whoever's with them recognizes there's an additional need. Um, our program is free for everybody. Um, and we have children from, like Amy had mentioned, ages 6 to 18. Um, all sorts of backgrounds. You know, there's just there's absolutely no requirements. Anyone who wants a mentor can have one. >> Wow. And so, I mean, I'm sure people are watching this who have younger children who are in the Burlington area. There is a Big Brothers Big Sisters of New Hampshire and Vermont in Burlington. >> Um, which I believe both of you are based at, correct? Yes. >> Yeah. You guys are based in Burlington. Yes. >> Yeah. So, I'm sure they're wondering how to reach out if they're interested. Um, you know, if they want to know more about the program, uh, you can see it right there at the bottom. Big smhvt.org is how you get to the website. So, if you want more inter information about the programs, maybe it's something right for you, maybe you know a particular individual who might benefit from the programs, go to their website and take a look at that. Now for other folks who are watching this, they might be interested in mentoring. >> Mhm. >> So you know how would somebody um go about uh the mentorship process. How does that work? >> So the best thing to do is to um go to our website where there is an inquiry form and they can fill that out and someone from our team will reach out to them um and walk them through the process. That's the good thing about um our whole process is that nobody is alone. they're not going through the whole um training and support and even in the match the mentors are um guided and supported by a a team of staff members there for them. >> So that's also good to know. So if you're listening to this and you're wondering about the program, you know, it's nice to know that it's a specific program that is going to train you. >> You don't need that like base understanding or the way it works. You have support through the entire process, which I'm sure tell people they don't need to be perfect. They just need to be [laughter] present and be concerned. >> None of us are perfect, right? Have we been told that since [laughter] our volunteers are all ages, right? Like we have folks that have said, "Oh my gosh, am I am I too old to be a mentor or whatever?" It's like absolutely not. Everybody everybody is um has something to offer and and it really is also about you know what it is that you're passionate about what things you like to do and sharing that you know having shared experiences with your with your little if you will. No, I love that because, you know, that crossgenerational thing is so important that we really don't have in a lot of traditional western society where where you have sort of people from older experiences or older, you know, time periods like really working with younger people and like passing that down that knowledge and that wisdom. And so, you know, as far as like, you know, if you're watching this and you're a retiree or you have extra time, this might be a really rewarding and fulfilling opportunity for you. >> Absolutely. >> Yeah. >> We see empty nesters. We see people who, >> oh, watch out. I'm join. [laughter] >> And sometimes they're even they're kind of stumped. They're like, "What what will I do with this?" And we're like, "What what do you like to do? What did you do with your own children?" Like, it's just so natural. Yeah. >> And that's such a wonderful thing. I think it, you know, and and and that's something that always brings me back. I mean, I I I I've known Big Brothers and Big Sisters for years. Um and um I had a very dear friend who who was a mentor. And you know, one of the things I love about the program is that not only you're serving two different groups of people. >> Absolutely. you know, it's it's a multiaceted community approach to like really engaging and bringing communities together, which is like so fabulous. And it's such a special place within within like the nonprofit sector >> that I really love about Big Brothers and Big Sisters. >> We see the relationships between the Littles and the Bigs and they continue after the little has graduated from the program. Um, we see littles that are in Big's weddings. um we see them they still you know 20 years later may get together for dinner or go for a drive. Um we have one uh person who when he was a little he was very interested in doing um learning about landscaping and so his big encouraged that and supported his interest and then supported him when he graduated from high school and opened his own landscaping business. And still to this day, the big is supporting the little with this this business. >> Oh my gosh, it's like a dream come true. I mean, that's that's a fabulous success story, by the way. >> I love that. [laughter] But see, I mean that's I mean that to me is like what Big Brothers Big Sisters does is it's this net support system that brings the community together in a very unique way and creates connections across generations that wouldn't otherwise happen in our you know western traditional siloed society. >> Absolutely. >> Where you don't have those connections. >> Yeah. Absolutely. It's such a cool model and it is a fun experience I think also for for our bigs, our volunteers that are, you know, like I became a big a year ago. I'm celebrating a year with my little sister Shay and um congratulations. I can I thank you. I [laughter] can honestly admit um I was never an amusement park ride person, right? Okay. Roller coasters not really my jam. Um, and this summer she turned 13. And um, that was where she wanted to go was to an amusement park. And I, you know, also knowing at 13 you don't just ride the ride once and celebrate that win. Um, you get off and get on again. So I I can say that I am officially like a roller coaster. Uh, you know, I' I've done it and I survived. And um, >> you're a veteran now. >> I would never have done it. I would never have done that, but I said, you know, this is this is going to just make her day. And um and she made mine. She actually turned into sort of my little support system that day cuz I was like, this is not my thing like [laughter] at all. So, we had a blast and um you know, came away from it like you know that she really taught me something that day, you know, which was really sweet. >> I love that. You know, that's really wonderful. And sometimes you just need that push to get on the roller coaster because once you're on and the gate closes, >> you are not getting on. >> That's right. That's right. Three minutes. It's all over. >> I'll share the picture. We won't flash to the photos now. [laughter] >> Yes. >> Yeah. It was um Yeah, it was it was a it was a big day for me. So, it was, you know, >> and you had fun. >> Had a blast. >> Well, congratulations on you know, and sometimes when you get older, it's hard to get outside those comfort zones. >> Yes. Absolutely. >> And and it's fun to get a little push. It is. It's fun. Yeah. I mean, even just like I can't remember the last time I had >> hot hot hot chocolate at a at a cafe or like some I'm like, "Oh my god, this is delicious. Why don't I have this more?" Um, but you know, it's just those little tiny things that I think you learn from your your mentee just as much as you are supposed to be the mentor. But really, it becomes such a good friend. >> Yeah. It's like a symbiotic relationship of growth. >> Fun, >> which is so wonderful. I mean, that's really great. >> Yeah. So, um, I wanted to, uh, kind of get back to, um, you know, we I think we've gotten into this, but I wanted to hear from both of you. How does mentorship impact the community at large, would you suggest? >> Yeah. So um you know this is our this is our future generation and um they have a lot of potential and when they don't have a supportive person in their life um somebody that can help guide them we lose that potential in our community. So, this could be our future generations of of mechanics and and landscapers and >> roller coaster enthusiasts, >> um, >> designers, >> designers. I mean, it could be, you know, so it's it's um it's bringing that future generation, the potential, bringing the fullest potential to our community. We're also um seeing that um for every dollar invested in mentoring >> um it comes back $3 to um to the local economy >> to the Yes. the um so it's uh >> wait say that again. >> Okay. So um >> for every $3 spent >> for every dollar invested in mentoring it's uh $3 back to >> like our public benefits public benefits. So community that return because you they're not when they're mentored they're not um engaging in things that they shouldn't be there. So there's we we're being proactive instead of reactive and there's not um there's less remedial education. There's less um uh criminal justice in it. So um so investing and being proactive with the youth is um is really beneficial to the community. >> Well, also building children up as they develop so that they can be the best members of society. >> Exactly. >> Should be a social contract that we can all jump on board of. >> Exactly. >> And Big Brothers helps facilitate that within any communicate community that serves. >> Um which is pretty incredible. >> Yeah. >> Um and and and that that number is going to stick with me now. Now I know. I'm like, "Oh my goodness." So yeah. Uh, you know, and then >> so and and so, wow, that's a lot of letters. Um, okay. You were right. [laughter] Um, so what does Big Brothers and Sisters of New Hampshire and Vermont um what makes it stand out um compared to other organizations, you know, like we have King Street Youth Center, we have other um kids kids programs in in Burlington. >> Absolutely. >> What is specific about Big Brothers Big Sisters? Yeah, I think you know, one thing that I think is very important is that youth need all of these resources. They're all incredibly important and we are just a a like a bonus that comes in to to support the same youth. So many of our youth are using all of the all of these resources. Um, and I think what's really important is that this is just the additional support outside of all of that. Those are more of um like places where they're safe that they can go. Um and then this is the mentor that gets matched with this little is an additional um you know support system in all of it, you know. So we we're all about collaborating with these programs. We've already started all of those relationships, but you know, I think it's really important that we are in addition. But I think what also stands out for us is that we are a supported um mentoring program where as a big in the program and the family um the little is supported through our program staff. So every every month they're having like a check-in and that is with the um the family uh the guardian or the volunteer, the big and also the little to sort of find out what's going on. How's the match going? How's the relationship? And and then from there we've been able to really discover other needs that maybe the youth has that they wouldn't normally we would never find out outside of this relationship. Um, so I think that's really special to us that we can support everybody involved and sort of the whole village for the for the child. >> Yeah. Yes. It takes a village thing. So, you know, to think about it that way, it's it's part of like the complete puzzle. It's it's a piece of the puzzle to foster, you know, community engagement and and support for young people. Mhm. >> Um, you know, that that's part of of a more complete package because you're right, a safe space is great to go to, but you need the actual connection support to kind of take it to that next level where it actually can be life-changing. >> Absolutely. And I think it's also in our like we're we live in more rural communities, right? So there's there's the more support we could all have and connection >> is huge, you know, and I think we've learned a lot over the years. um you know, not that we want to bring, you know, COVID and everything, but it's like it's still like it's really important. Connection is huge and makes such a difference in all of our lives. >> Well, we're humans and relationships are really a foundational component >> of what it means to be human. Like our relationships with other people and our communication with other people is a huge component of our life that people don't take into consideration enough, right? You know, you know, yes, it's nice to have food and it's nice to have clothing and those material items for sustaining yourself, but it's really the interpersonal communicate connections that you make with other humans and those relationships that really bring the color, texture, and joy into into everyday life. >> It's it's huge. Especially now, I think youth you right, they're they're on their laptops all the time and at school and as you know, phones, all of the things. >> I know. So, you know, we're like all of us are like this all day, you know, for many reasons. Um, and I think just sort of like having that like you had mentioned that, you know, that organic connection. Yeah. We're we're missing a lot of that. And I think it's it's >> also just learning how to communicate with somebody, >> you know, those kinds of things. Even communicating your wants and needs. Yeah. >> You know, for some kids as they're going through, you know, adolescence and other type parts of their lives, you know, people can shut down. they don't they maybe they aren't even in touch with their thoughts and feelings >> right >> as they're going through that. So having a mentor, somebody who can get kind of get them out of that >> space where they can maybe reconnect with what they're thinking and how they're feeling and and have somebody to talk about those things. >> I mean is so valuable through that developmental period. I would assume >> it's huge. >> Yeah. because when they're facing those other issues, the the uh food insecurity, the homelessness, the mental health challenges, the peer pressures in school, um you know, not having somebody to talk to is is detrimental for them. You know, it it it's causing that isolation. But to be able to have that support person in their corner, that person that's consistent and listening and and supportive is really it it helps the kids confidence grow in themselves. I mean, don't quote me on this, but I think I read recently that there was a study that was done that just listening, having somebody in your life who listens reduces the incidence of like, you know, mental health crisis >> by 40 to 60%. >> It's unbelievable. I mean, that's that to me >> is is what Big Brothers Big Sisters is is also when you're in that kind of vulnerable adolescence, there's somebody there who who's listening and there for you. >> Yes. And and that's sort of that like hand in the darkness kind of thing that like that really pulls you up. So, you know, I'm sure people are watching this and they're very curious how as they're watching this, what are all the ways that they can get involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters? Well, the biggest one is to volunteer and become a mentor. Um, and it really it's very little amount of time. It's not We work with you to fit it into your life. >> Um, we just we you don't need to be perfect. You just need to be um present, be consistent, be willing to go on the roller coaster with that. [laughter] I almost said the scared you went away, but >> but it is it is to Amy's point like it is so it's the relationship is so natural and the pressures like you know it's really it the relationship evolves and you know when I started it was very um you know I mean my little she just would be happy if I took her to Starbucks like that that's what's cool right now right so I'm like okay so maybe you know what comes out of her having a special drink or something, right? Like the conversation starts or it's like how is school? But then it just flows and like I just sort of let it happen and see what where she goes and what kind of support from there that she needs. So it's it's definitely not about um having to have the right thing to say all the time or anything. It's just support. >> And it is interesting. And I I love how you say that too cuz it seems like it's it's the menteed directed conversation too that like in their life they're going out with somebody >> and they're in control of the narrative and the conversation and they their mind gets to go there >> and like have that that you know that that that that touch point with that person >> where they're kind of like going there in their own conversation. >> Um which I think would be so supportive for that age demographic. >> Yeah. think there's like a lot of freedom like they're just sort of like it's a safe space like [laughter] I'm like lay it on me you know like it's fine it's and and and they're trusted right obviously uh you know I'm you know a confidant for her but obviously you know if there's you know something unsafe we're going to talk about it but you know outside of that it's really just you know we we go from talking about likes and dislikes to you know what the drama at school for the day or you know what's what's coming up or things she might be hesitant about or you know and just sort of listening as you said and just being able to support that very lightly you know. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Very lightly. >> Very Yeah. So interesting. So you know I and I love that. So if you're interested >> you need to go on the website again www.bigsnvt >> yes.com.org.org.org. All right, [laughter] I got it. So, please go on there and check it out. And, you know, I I I think I I think it would be a really enriching experience for people. And if you know kids, please reach out to them. Now, another huge thing if you've heard what you >> if you heard stuff that you love on the show today, another thing you can do online is you can go and you can give >> to Big Brothers Big Sisters. >> Yes. >> Because that in of itself is a huge thing um for the work that they do. So, I kind of wanted to get back into that. Um, you know, do you guys have any uh fun events coming up as far as fundraising goes? Uh, do you guys do anything like that throughout the year? >> We do right now. We most of our events are in the New Hampshire region. Um, we do have one coming up called the Stiletto Sprint, um, which is in its 17th year, which I can't believe, >> which you have to explain because you just said it is a sprint. >> It is what it is, and I can't believe people do it. And I can't believe the event is still going on. Believe it or [laughter] not, I have not, which I've been encouraged. And as my >> broken ankles, >> no broken ankles, >> some scrapes and bruises, but um but yes, it's just men and women coming out for a great cause to support us. >> How is the run? >> It's it's a it's a very um casual 40 yard dash like it's just and it's a relay. It's a relay. So you're, you know, you're with your people. You pass off the shoe, the next person. So anyway, it's a great event. >> How would somebody uh sign up for that? >> They can go to our website again. Um and at we'll have we have an event section. They can learn more about that. We have a great uh small like road race, a mile from mentoring race coming up. Um Guntock >> um and that's October 4th. >> Oh, so that's really >> So that's coming up. Yes. But we're hoping for next year to have a great event right here in in Vermont. >> Yeah, we do. We do have um on November 2nd uh we do have a fundraiser at Jersey Mike's at the Jersey Mike in the area where they are donating 20% of their proceeds to >> That's wonderful. And what's the date on that? >> November 2nd. >> So November 2nd, you have to go Jersey Mike and buy a sandwich. Did you hear that? Okay. I'm I'm counting I'm counting on all of you. But and we're working on a Vermont themed fundraiser for next year. So stay tuned. >> Okay. I I look forward to that. Please let me know. >> Okay. >> If we can have a if we can have a company team. >> I love it. >> You know, that's [laughter] another thing, too. If you want to do uh sprinting with stilettos as a company team building uh team building moment, I'm sure the laughs will never end. So yes, just think about Big Brothers and Big Sisters. You know, I I I kind of wanted to circle back really quickly, too. I I'm very curious. So, how Big Brothers and Big Sisters in New Hampshire and Vermont. I know you guys very well from Burlington, but where else do you have locations across the uh two states? >> Oh, >> so we have in Vermont we have um focused on two hubs. We have the around Chittening County and then we have Brattleboro area. We do have a school-based program where the we have um high schoolers from Burn Burton Academy going to um elementary and middle schools in the Manchester area. Um and then we have um we have a couple of uh hubs in New Hampshire as well. Uh we have one in the sea coast area. >> Okay. Down near Portsouth. >> Yik Coast central up into the lakes region over to Keen. >> Okay. Yeah. So like like Lake like Lake like Lake like Lake like Lake like Lake like Winnipasaki and then Keen. Yeah, that makes sense. >> And we're hoping to just continue to grow. You know, there's there's there's definitely need and >> that's a lot of offices. It's >> a lot. >> So that's another good point is that by supporting Big Brothers and Big Sisters, you know, as a Burlingtononian, you know how it affects our community, not only are your donations going here, it's going regionwide. >> It is. >> And it has a really big coverage area. >> Absolutely. Huge impact. Every dollar counts. Yeah, it's, you know, our program is free >> uh for anyone who would like to have a mentor and I think that's really important. Um, all of the money raised stays right here in our states to to serve the youth that we have. Um, you know, we are part of the national affiliate, but we we don't um we excuse me, money does not go to them. [laughter] >> I'm gonna you're gonna have to cut that out. Sorry. Uh, but um yeah, it's just it stays in the States to serve the youth here. Yeah, >> that's so incred. I mean, which is amazing. I mean, there's, you know, there's a lot of organizations and there are local ones, but it's so nice to know that your dollars are really staying hyper local. >> Yes. >> And part of why I really wanted to have you guys on the show is because, you know, Big Brothers Big Sisters has been an integral organization in the fabric of Burlington since I was a kid. >> And we just know my kids went to college. So, >> that'll speak [laughter] for itself. But but you know, I mean, and and and so it's such an incredible um organization. I always wonder I I've always wanted to ask this. Have you ever had a mentee become a mentor? >> Oh yes. >> Yes. >> Oh my gosh. I knew it. I just have always wanted to ask. And that's one of like the mo probably most popular question that our mentees ask is how old do I have to be to become a big? >> Yes. >> So it comes >> so it's totally full circle. And see, so that's the other magic of Big Brothers and Sisters to me. And and and that's why you guys are such an important organization is >> not only does it help kids now, it plays forward. It is a cycle. It is something that keeps going >> keeps going in its own self-propelled engine of caring, giving, companionship, and connection. That's just so valuable. We had a we had a young woman who just uh approached us about becoming a big because her best friend growing up was a little in the program and she saw the benefits that it it had on her best friend and she decided that she wanted to pay it forward. She wanted to have that same kind of experience with a little. So, um >> I love that. >> It's so it's so heartwarming. That is such a lovely se. I mean that to me is is is what makes Big Brothers Big Sisters such a remarkable organization. Thank you both so much for being on the show this week. Thank you. Um again, go to the website. Uh it's www.bignhvt.org. Uh check it out. There's ways to give there. There's fun events coming up. Um, you might be want to be a mentee and you might want to be a mentor. So, uh, check it out. Uh, thank you guys so much for watching the show this month and I'll see you next month.