Narcissist’s Failure, Frustration: Their Doom

As some of you may have heard, there is an online smear campaign against me. I am shaking and quaking in my boots, non-existent ones. This smear campaign is failed. It's clownish. its leading drama queen collapse narcissist are such buffoons and so incompetent that it gave me an idea for making even more money. I am now for the first time offering you merchandise. Yes, I am merchandising effiges and voodoo dollors in my image. You can burn the effiges at midnight as befeitting the smear campaign. And you can stick nils in the vaknin-l like voodoo dolls. And here's the rub. If you buy three vaknin voodoo dolls, I will throw in multicolored pins. You can't deny that I have a very vivid imagination when it comes to business. But more seriously, observing the flailing and thrashing of the perpetrators of the smear campaign as they keep failing in their selfassigned task has taught me a lot. And today I'm going to introduce you to the topic of what happens to a narcissist, especially a collapsed narcissist, a dramatic, erratic type of narcissist. What happens to this kind of narcissist when he or she experiences frustration? You see, frustration is a very common feature in the narcissist's life. And the reason is that narcissists often fail in realizing their unrealistic hairbrained projects and schemes. Narcissists don't plan. They daydream. Narcissists don't really have a clear view, horizon, project analysis, management. They don't have any of this. They are chaotic. They improvise because they trust their innate superiority and ability to pull the wool over other people's eyes. And so they their projects, their schemes, their plans are in a in a way are it's not possible to realize them. That's why they're hairbrained. They they they often lead nowhere. They result in nothing. And so when narcissists fail to realize their goals or projects or schemes and they when they fail to meet their own grandio standards, this creates an internal break. This creates dissonance. Reality barges in, rushes in and obliterates the fantasy. And this engenders in the narcissist shame and helplessness. So let me give you an example. If the re if the fantasy is about revenge, the narcissist is likely to establish a goal destroying the target or destroying the enemy. And when this goal is not met because there is this minor thing called reality and because not everyone is stupid and gullible. When this goal is not met, the narcissist experiences rage, shame, sometimes even guilt and definitely an overpowering sense of impotence. And these negative effects overwhelm the narcissist and the narcissist becomes emotionally disregulated and impulsive which are characteristics of type two or factor two psychopaths. Narcissists therefore are driven to psychopathy. the more they fail and they are driven to failure owing to the impossible uh goals and standards that they themselves posit that they themselves establish. They revel in fantasy. They revel in narratives about the future and scenarios that could never ever be realized. Never. It's not a question of how much effort you put into it. It's not a question of how much how much investment and how much commitment. It's not a question of how good your evidence is. It's not it's none of these. It's simply that the goal is inflated, fantastic, unored, and therefore can never be realized. Narcissists therefore set themselves up for failure. And this is even more pronounced in drama queen or drama king narcissist in dramatic erratic narcissist. And these narcissists are prone to collapse when they are defeated when they fail repeatedly. When they try to coersse the environment or reality into the mold of their fantasy, these narcissists fall apart. They disintegrate. They crash and many of them as I said become psychopaths and then they cross every boundary. They're dangerous. They're impulsive. They're out of control. The ones who are more more borderline in nature, they begin to act out. The ones who are more psychopathic or antisocial, they begin to plot and plan antisocial and criminal acts as a way to reassert and reestablish the sense of innate superiority and grandiosity that has been relinquished and obliterated in the inevitable defeat and failure. The more public the failure, the more ostentatious the defeat, the more the greater the number of witnesses, the more driven the narcissist is to somehow compensate for this. Indeed, when the narcissist fails, when the narcissist is defeated in public in view of everyone, when the narcissist has viciferously established goals that then are not met, when the narcissist incompetence, bumbling, bumbling tom foolery, innate stupidity are all exposed, the narcissist become becomes motifed. And we know from Libby that narcissistic motification can lead to an internal solution which is essentially a delusional sense of I'm still in charge. Everything is going according to plan. A denial of the defeat and failure or to an external solution where the failed or collapsed narcissist attempts to restore grandiosity by harming sometimes physically the target or by realizing the goals via means that are criminal, antisocial. So this is a very dangerous phase in the narcissist fantasy and the cycle of delusionality that characterizes narcissism. There is an initial fantasy in the example of the smear campaign against me. It's a fantasy of revenge. We are going to destroy him. So there's his initial fantasy. Then there's a lot there's a lot of work that goes into realizing the fantasy. The work is ahazard. The work is incompetent. The work is dilotent. The work is amateurish. The work is buffoonish. I agree. But there's a lot of effort that goes into it. And then reality intervenes. reality intercedes and none of the goals is realized. It's a total failure. Ultimate defeat in full view of everyone. It's humiliating. There's a sense of extreme shame and humiliation and the resultant rage. And this rage has to be channeled somehow, directed somehow in order to overcome the sense of helplessness. Narcissists always blame other people and they blame other people also for their own frustration. When they are frustrated, when they have failed, they blame other people. This is known as aloplastic defenses. So if a group of collapsed narcissists have targeted someone and have failed in their effort, they would blame the target. They would attribute to the target deliberation, malice or sadism for having caused them frustration. The target is guilty that they are frustrated. It's never their fault. If they have failed with a project, commercially or otherwise, and the failure is undeniable, pronounced or pervasive and shocking, it's the target's fault. If their own incompetence, shoddy work and frankly lack of intelligence lead them to and an unsemly and unwanted outcome. It's the target's fault. Their frustration with their own failure. Their rejection of their own or reframing of their own defeat relies heavily on casting the target as the source of the frustration. The cause of the frustration and the frustration is perceived as an attack as a form of sadism. The target is failing is target is making us fail. The target is causing us to be defeated. The target is undermining our efforts. The target is sabotaging our plans and goals to destroy the target because the target is evil and sadistic. Frustration we know generates aggression and the aggression in the case of the collapse narcissist and the drama queens and kings and what have you. In the case of dramatic erratic narcissist, the frustration can either be internalized in which case the narcissist develops extreme major depression and there is an interiorized self-motification via self audiencing. So this is the internalization of the aggression that is the outcome of the frustration. So let me let me translate this to English. The narcissist is a fantasy. Let's for example a revenge fantasy. The goal of the fantasy to destroy the target. We're going to destroy him. Then it's it doesn't work. The target is not destroyed. On the very contrary, by the way, he's flourishing and thriving. Nothing works. It's a total utter unmitigated inexcusable failure and defeat. How to explain this? It's very frustrating. The frustration has to be explained somehow. One possibility is to admit the narcissist can admit that he has or she has misbehaved, miscalculated, misjudged. But a narcissist would never admit to this. Narcissists are always right. They're infallible. They're perfect. They're omnipotent. They're omnisient. They're perfect beings. They're godlike. And so a narcissist would never say, "I'm experiencing frustration because I failed and I have failed and that's my fault that I failed." Never ever. Instead, the narcissist would say, "I'm experiencing frustration because I failed. But I have failed because of the target." The target sabotaged my work. The target destroyed me. The target conspired with others. The target is embedded in the establishment or institutions. The target manipulates others. I mean you name it. There will be numerous multiple narratives about the target and the target social network and the target supporters, the targets fans, the targets, you name it, anything to explain the abysmal failure. And so it is the target who is guilty for the failure, not the perpetrators. And so there's aggression there. And if the target if if the narcissist, the collapse narcissist who has been frustrated and now is aggressive cannot legitimately or or safely direct the aggression at the target. At that point, the aggression is internalized and the collapse narcissist develops depression and avoidant behaviors. What happens is the narcissist or collapse narcissist or faded drama queen or whatever experiences mortification. The failure and the defeat undeniable and they're public. It's shaming. It's hum It's shameful. It's humiliating. It's excruciating. And so this is motification. And the narcissist, this kind of narcissist also has an internal audience, the fantasy. And is motifed both externally in front of the public and internally in front of the audience, the internal audience of the fantasy. So this creates depression. The other solution is to externalize the aggression. You remember frustration leads to aggression. You could internalize it and become depressed or you could externalize it and become violent, verbally violent, physically violent, who knows? Narcissists reframe this kind of aggression as self-defense or they would construct a morality play. Yes, I am attacking the target. Yes, I'm harming the target. Yes, I'm even violent with the target. But that's in order to protect other people. What I'm doing is morally justified. I'm all good. The target target is all bad. My criminal acts are pro-social. I'm lying. I'm falsifying. I'm manipulating. I'm do I'm blackmailing. I'm doing all these things. And it's all true, but in order to prevent a much bigger harm for the I'm doing this for the greater good. This is the pro-social justification, the morality play justification, the moral crusade. I am says that this kind of narcissism says I am righteous. I am the wrath of God and the face of justice. So when the narcissist fantasy fails, when reality destroys the fantasy, when it's not possible to realize the unrealistic, hairbrained, demented goals in reality, the narcissist becomes frustrated. The frustration is blamed on the target and the aggression is directed in many cases at the target for having frustrated the collapsed narcissist. Now there is there are many there's a lot of uh information and academic studies and and research regarding frustration. I've been using the word throughout this video but I haven't defined it well. Let's delve a bit deeper into frustration. I mentioned that frustration leads to aggression and this is known as the frustration aggression hypothesis. It's a theory proposed in 1939 by John Doard and Doard D O L L A R D and his colleagues. dollar suggested that frustration always produces an aggressive urge and that aggression is always a result of prior frustrations. Neil Miller, one of the proponents of this theory, later noted that frustration can lead to several kinds of actions, but Miller maintained that the urge to aggression will become more dominant as the thwarting, the frustration continues. You see, if you embark on a smear campaign and the goal is to destroy the target and there is a calamitous resonant failure in obtaining the goal on the very contrary, the target is flourishing and thriving more than ever. The frustration will increase and great. It's like scratching a wound and continue day in and day out. The data will accumulate. the the the public will notice. The the target is smiling and it's it's horror. It's a horror show. This kind this kind of permanent ongoing self-reinforcing frustration would lead to aggression. In 1989, US psychologist Leonard Burkowitz proposed that the frustration might be decidedly unpleasant and this is the reason for the aggressive urge. The frustration aggression hypothesis is also called the aggression frustration hypothesis for this reason. But what is frustration? I keep using the word what is frustration. Frustration is when you have an impulse or you want to embark on a course of action or you have a plan or a goal or an imagined scenario or a fantasy or a dream or a wish and they are thwarted. They're prevented, they're withheld, they're blocked. No matter what you do, you can't get there. You can't realize it. Reality itself is against you. And so this prevents individuals from obtaining something they have been led to expect based on past experience. Or in the case of collapsed narcissists, the there is a prevention. They're prevented from obtaining something that they have identified with reality. In other words, the the narcissist cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality. When the narcissist fantasizes, he mistakes it for reality. Why? Because of magical thinking. The narcissist has this primitive infantile defense. The narcissist is convinced that if he if he were just to wish something, if he were just to hope something, if he were just to think about something, it would come true. The universe is at the beck and call of the narcissist. The narcissist can impact the world and alter reality just by thinking about it, just by wishing very strongly for something to occur. So if the narcissist says, "My goal is vengeance and revenge and I'm targeting this person and I'm going to destroy him." The narcissist doesn't regard this as a prediction or a projection or a prognos prognosis or some possibility. No. The minute the narcissist wishes the target to be destroyed, as far as a narcissist is concerned, the target is destroyed. Narcissist can't tell the difference between wishful thinking and reality. And so in the case of narcissist, there is a tharting, there is a blockage of fantasy. The fantasy itself is blocked. The individual, the narcissistic individual, collapsed narcissist is unable to obtain or to realize something that is embedded in the fantasy and therefore conflated and confused with reality. So on the most basic level, when a hungry animal is prevented from obtaining food that it can smell or it can see or when a child is prevented from playing with a with a toy, a visible toy, available toy, they become frustrated. When a narcissist is prevented from realizing the fantasy or when there are too many clues and stimuli and too many data emanating from reality that prove the falsify the fantasy when the fantasy cannot survive in reality because there's too much information negating the fantasy. In this case, the narcissist becomes frustrated. It's exactly the child with a toy. The fantasy is the toy. It's visible. It's real. Narcissists cannot tell the difference between reality and fantasy. So the fantasy is real. And when the fantasy does not happen, or when reality contradicts it, undermines it, challenges it in a way that cannot be denied. Narcissist goes crazy, becomes frustrated and aggressive and violent, escalates, becomes impulsive, makes mistakes, commits crimes. So internal forces are involved in frustration and they can include motivational conflicts, inhibitions. But external forces are also inducements to frustration, the actions of other individuals. uh admonitions of parents or other figures, the rules of society, the refusal of others to collaborate, institutional constraints, the law, all these in most cases will do not allow the fantasy to be fully realized or realized at all. And then the collapsed narcissist is shamed humiliated in public and also shamed and humiliated internally with the internal audience. So there's external motification and internal motification. It's an unbearable situation. It is blamed by the collapsed narcissist on the victim or the target and then the victim or the target have to be annihilated somehow. because otherwise the frustration will continue. Frustration is an emotional state. It involves emotional disregulation. The individual experiences this emotion when thwarting or blocking occur occurs in classical psychonalytic theory. By the way, uh there was this belief that frustration is when psychic energy accumulates and doesn't find an outlet and then the only available outlet is wishfulfilling fantasies or dreams in various in various ways. And when even this doesn't work, when the wish fulfillment is is denied because of reality, then there's a development of what Freud and others called the neurotic symptoms. It leads to mental illness. If it's prolonged, repeated, undeniable, shameful, humiliating, it leads to mental illness and behavior that is at the same time psychotic and psychopathic. There is a hypothesis known as the frustrative non-reward hypothesis. It's a proposition. It says that withholding previously given reinforcement of responses during operant or instrumental conditioning leads to an internal state of frustration which sometimes paradoxically motivates the subject. This is known as the frustration effect. It was proposed by Abraham. He was a US behavioral psychologist. So the idea is that frustration is motivational. It accumulates and what we call aggression is the translation of this motivation to action. That there are in in the frustrative non-reward hypothesis there are well definfined conditions for all this. I will not go into it but that's a general thrust of the hypothesis. That means that a collapse narcissist initially when the collapse narcissist comes across defeat or failure the first thing the collapse naris would do he or she would modify the fantasy somehow and the most common modification of the fantasy is persecuto the narcissist the collapse narcissist would paint the target of the victim of the of the for example smear campaign as evil, frustrating on purpose. So that's a modification of the fantasy, but it doesn't work for long because there's no wish fulfillment. Readjusting the fantasy, modifying it does again does not lead to any real world outcomes. And so the next stage is to exit the fantasy basically. by acting. In other words, the first the initial response to failure and defeat is a modification of the internal state, the fantasy. When this fails, the only outlet left is a modification of the external state. For example, getting rid of the target or the victim or getting rid of the source of irritation and frustration or acting in ways which are criminal and antisocial or lying egregiously even more egregiously to obtain outcomes. Um so this drives the collapse narcissist inexurably into the extreme ends of psychopathy. And in psychopathy there is something well doumented. It's low frustration tolerance or a low frustration threshold. Frustration tolerance is the ability of an individual to delay gratification or to preserve relative equinimity when encountering obstacles. The growth of adequate frustration tolerance generally occurs as part of a child's cognitive and effective development but may also be strengthened to more adaptive uh levels later in life through therapy for example. The thing is that narcissists and even more so psychopaths have very low frustration threshold very low tolerance. They don't tolerate frustration. They cannot delay gratification. They want everything right now. There's a sense of entitlement, impulsivity, immediiacy. Obstacles, hurdles, objections, disagreement, criticism are perceived as violence, as perceived as aggression. The narcissist perceives all these as aggressing against him or her. When the narcissist comes across criticism, the critic is an aggressor. When the nar when someone disagrees with the narcissist, the person who disagrees with the narcissist is an abuser. When the narcissist cannot accomplish a goal in reality, reality is to blame. compromised institutions, corrupt people, stupid, gullible. Everyone is devalued to explain the failure and the defeat. The narcissist reframes reality on the go, on the fly, constantly in a desperate attempt to survive the defeat and the failure. Ultimately, if the defeat and the failure are continuous, uninterrupted, undeniable, and they grow worse with time, this would lead to violent antisocial and criminal behaviors. And that is, of course, the downfall of the collapse narcissist and the great hope of his or her victims, including victims of smear campaigns. As a victim of a smear campaign, your main goal is to frustrate the perpetrators of the smear campaigns. When you frustrate the perpetrators of the smear campaign, they lose it. They lose it. When they lose it, make mistakes. When they make mistakes, they're doomed. And this definitely is a highly realistic goal. One way to frustrate them is to ignore them. Another way to frustrate them is to flourish and thrive in full view. Another way to frustrate them is to do exactly what they don't want you to do or what they want you to abstain from doing or to stop doing. There many ways to frustrate them. But that is the winning course of action against the perpetrators of smear campaigns. Frustrate them to oblivion. Frustrate them to distraction. Frustrate them to the point that they are no longer in control not only of the narrative or of you, but of themselves. To the point that they lose it, disintegrate, become, for all intents and purposes psychotic, psychopathic, and mentally ill. At that point, weakened by your response, debilitated by frustration, they're bound to sleep. They're bound to sleep. Self harm, self-damage, self-defeat. It's inevitable. It's inexurable. Like the train schedules in Switzerland. So, all you have to do is sit back and if you're so inclined, enjoy the show. It's often entertaining.