Narcissistic Abuse Can Make You Feel CRAZY [RAW]

Duration: 14:50 1404 transcript words EN summary

Video summary

Narcissistic abuse often leaves victims feeling profoundly unstable and disconnected from reality after a relationship ends, primarily because the cycle of love bombing and devaluation creates an intense emotional roller coaster that drains one's energy. During the relationship, the victim becomes highly suggestible and focused entirely on the narcissist, effectively losing their own sense of self as they constantly take cues from someone who views them merely as an extension of themselves. This dynamic acts like a form of brainwashing, preventing the individual from thinking for themselves or trusting their own feelings, which leads to a state where they no longer know what is real or true about their own experiences. The aftermath of this abuse is frequently compounded by gaslighting and invalidation, where the narcissist labels the victim as crazy, unstable, or broken to maintain control over the narrative. When the relationship ends, often through sudden discard once the victim becomes emotionally numb or no longer provides enough "supply," the victim is left confused without support systems to help them heal. They are forced to question their sanity because they were pulled into a false reality constructed by the narcissist, where any attempt to see the truth results in further devaluation. Without intervention, the victim may assume that something is wrong with them rather than recognizing that they were manipulated into living in a distorted world designed to make them feel anxious, fearful, and irritable. Recovery begins with the crucial step of limiting or cutting off contact, as even brief interactions can disrupt a person's inner peace and reignite trauma responses. The goal is to replace memories filled with constant anxiety and walking on eggshells with new experiences that foster calmness and stability. Victims must realize that the qualities they craved from the narcissist were never external but were always within themselves, and focusing on this internal truth helps break the traumatic bond. It is essential to understand that narcissists do not change or heal; they will always attempt to make others feel like the crazy ones to keep them in a state of confusion, so the survivor must refuse to let those words define their identity. Ultimately, healing is a gradual process that involves returning to oneself and responding to one's own needs rather than seeking validation from a disordered individual. While it is normal to feel depressed or anxious during this transition, maintaining no contact allows the nervous system to calm down and the sense of self to rebuild over time. The speaker emphasizes that anyone who has experienced this trauma should consider speaking with a therapist or coach to navigate the path forward, as professional guidance can help replace old, painful memories with a renewed sense of reality. By focusing on internal stability and rejecting the false narratives imposed by the abuser, survivors can eventually regain their footing and move toward a life defined by peace rather than the chaos inflicted by narcissistic abuse.

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Hello everyone. In this video, I want to talk about how narcissistic abuse can make you feel crazy. So, after dealing with a narcissist, you may not feel so normal after the relationship is over. You may experience this emotional trauma because now you're by yourself after you've been ran through this cycle of love bombing and devaluation. So, you're just constantly going back and forth with them on this emotional roller coaster. And the adrenaline, the dopamine, you're experiencing all of it rather than responding to yourself. You're just constantly focused on them, attending to them. And you're you're open, you're vulnerable, you're highly suggestible. You're going along with them on this emotional roller coaster, and it just drains the life out of you. And to some extent, it does brainwash you because you're just constantly taking cues from them. You're not thinking for yourself when you're around the narcissist. They don't want you to think for yourself. They don't want you to even feel how you really feel. They want to tell you how you feel because they view you as an extension of themselves. And so it gets to a certain point where you just can't even really think anymore. You don't even really know how you feel. All you know is that you're by yourself now. And it doesn't feel good. And maybe the narcissist has called you crazy. They've called you unstable. And they've gone and they've told everyone that that's what you are now. And it's just further invalidation. It's just more gaslighting. To where you just really feel like you've lost touch with reality. It is such a horrible feeling. And this is something that I have experienced several times throughout my life. And it just doesn't feel good. It just makes you feel crazy. Because you don't know what's real. You don't know what's true. You don't know what's going on. And at the time that you're going through it, you don't even know what it is that you're actually even going through. You don't even know what to expect or how to move on from this, or even if you you can move on from it. And I know exactly what that's like. It's horrible. But I'm really glad that you know, I found this narcissist abuse community back in 2018. Because I was lost. I didn't know who I was. I just felt like I had lost myself. And like I had lost touch with reality. And I was just so confused. But then I found the narcissist abuse community. And then I realized, you know, I was dealing with someone who is disordered. Of course, you know, by being around someone who's disordered, it's um destroyed any sense of order that I once had in my life. And this is what disordered people do. They pull you into this false reality that they have constructed for themselves. Where they are not just normal, but perfect, ideal. Where there's nothing wrong with them. And you can exist in this fantasy world with them for a certain amount of time and be ideal with them. But then after a certain amount of time, you to wake up, you start to see through them. Or your supply just isn't potent enough for them anymore. And now, the only way that you can continue to exist in the false reality is by them devaluing you, so that they can feel superior to you. And then eventually, they just discard you once you stop reacting, or once you become emotionally numb. And then when that happens, it's just very confusing. You don't understand what just happened. You just assume that it's something wrong with you because that's what they were telling you. And maybe that's what they were telling everyone about you. And there's just no support, there's no one there to encourage you to heal, to get better. No one's even telling you that you can heal from this. Of course, the narcissist doesn't want you to know that. They don't want you to heal. And many narcissists, they may believe that you can't heal anyway. But yet, at some point, you know, especially when you find this information, you realize that you were forced to live in a false reality, where you were just constantly attending to them, taking cues from them, Walking on eggshells around them. Around a sort of person. So naturally, you know, that just destroyed any structure that you once had in your life. Yeah, you know, as long as you're in contact with them. It will have an effect in you. It will rearrange things in your mind. And it will cause you to become very confused. And this is why, you know, you really have to limit your contact with them. And if you do have to contact them for whatever reason, I mean I I know some of you they have children with the narcissist. Pay attention to how it makes you feel. Because if you're really aware of it at that moment you will notice how it is affecting you. It's like it it's firing up your nervous system. It's making you anxious. Fearful, distressed irritable. And that's not normal. You shouldn't be feeling that way around a person. But that's how these people will make you feel. And it doesn't matter how you felt before you interacted with them. They will always find a way to disrupt your sense of calm, your sense of peace, your sense of inner stability and make you feel like you're going crazy. And then they will blame you for it. But they will always be them initiating this with you. And they will be doing this to you even after everything they've already done. And it's just what they have to do. It's how they have to make you feel. And these people are never going to change, you know, it doesn't matter if it looks like they've moved on, if they're married, if they have children, they're still the same. But what you need to focus on now is replacing those old memories. You know, where it was just constant anxiety, constant trauma. You have to focus on replacing those memories with new ones where you do feel more calm, you do feel more at peace. And that's what you need to identify with now. Instead of letting the things that were said to you or done to you, instead of letting those things define you. >> Because eventually, I mean, you know, if you maintain no contact with a narcissist, and you really just come back to yourself, and you respond to yourself more, instead of constantly taking cues from them, you will gradually begin to heal. You will gradually begin to feel a lot better. And it all begins by you realizing that you know, what you feel like you're looking for, what you feel like you're craving from the narcissist, that's within you. And the more that you focus on that, the more that it will begin to stabilize you. And then, you won't feel this pull towards the narcissist. Eventually, the trauma bond will break. Now, right now, I know you may feel down. You may feel depressed. You may feel anxious, but you've just got to keep going. You've just got to keep moving, and remember that you know, anytime that the narcissist did appear to be there for you, and it it made you feel better, you know, when he went from maybe being devalued or discarded, and then they started love bombing you again. But then it always went back to the devaluation, to the abuse. And that's what you've got to remember. Because these people, they don't move on, they don't heal. And they're they're always going to end up abusing you. They're always going to end up trying to make you feel like you're the crazy one. And they really just want to keep you in that state. That's their objective. To make you feel like it's you. So, yeah, if you're feeling this way after dealing with a narcissist, I highly recommend speaking to a therapist or coach. And I do offer coaching sessions, which you can book through my website. It's narc survivor.co.uk. So again, thank you for watching. And I'll speak to you in another video very soon.