My Spineless Man Caught Having an Affair with My Brother’s Girlfriend… So We Got Rid of Them!

My man's caught having an affair with my brother's [music] girlfriend. So, we deleted them from our lives. Oh, yeah. Be warned. This will be triggering. >> [laughter] >> Hello, I'm posting this because we genuinely don't know what to do or think at the moment and need some advice. Using fake names for all in case anyone we know finds this. I'm 20 years old. My brother Darren is 26. My boyfriend Cole is 21 and my brother's girlfriend's name Sage, a 20-year-old. My brother Darren and I think that our partners are cheating on us with each other. I've been dating my boyfriend Cole for a year now. My brother recently started dating Sage about a month ago. We still live with our mom as I still go to school and my older brother helps with bills and our younger brother. We just feel it's better this way, especially after everything we've been through recently as a family. But, that's a whole different story. Cole moved in with us at the beginning of December last year. It started just as him staying over on weekends, then his stays just got progressively longer and he eventually just started staying over every night. He's currently also in school, online classes, and he helps around the house with cleaning and [music] cooking and that kind of stuff. He's very good with my younger brother and they have a brotherly bond as well. Sage has been staying over for the past like three or four weeks, shortly after my brother and her started dating. She took some time off work to come stay over for a few weeks. I wasn't given the exact amount of time. She lives more than 3 hours away. She is a nice girl, super easy to talk and joke around with. My boyfriend and I were honestly a little startled by how outgoing she is, since we are a little more shy and are introverts. She's already met our extended family as well, and [music] she fits right in with us, and everyone adores her. Now, on to the main topic. When Sage first came over, we were all told by my mom to come and make her feel welcomed and comfortable. So, we were out in the living room or kitchen most of the week playing games and having fun when we aren't at school/work. Over the first week, we have gotten more comfortable with her, including my boyfriend. She and my boyfriend have been the only ones home alone when everyone else was at work or school. One night when I woke up in the middle of the night >> [music] >> and Cole wasn't in bed and didn't come back for a while. I didn't think anything of it and went back to bed after a while, and the next day the four of [music] us were in the living room together, Darren and Sage and Cole and I. We were all talking and joking around, and I brought up the fact that he was gone for a while and where he went last night. He claimed he just went to the bathroom, but then Darren also asked Sage the same thing. They were both gone for long periods of time >> [music] >> that same night. Sage looked at Darren and then laughed. Then she apologized and said she got a call from her friend and went outside to talk to her in the car. She then said to Darren, "I'll let you know next time if [music] she calls again." We moved on after that. The next thing that happened that has [music] made us truly question things was this morning when I was dropping my younger brother off for school. He asked if Cole and I could keep it down when we're doing it because he couldn't really sleep last [music] night. He went on all about how he didn't need to hear his older sister getting [music] some and really, really wished we didn't share a wall. Now, this would have been a valid concern if it was me, but it wasn't. I went to my cousin's house to hang out for the evening and didn't come home until about 2:00 a.m. Cole and I didn't do anything. He was already sleeping by the time I came back. Also, Cole and I are always always mindful about the fact that my younger brother's room is on the other side of the wall. So, who was my boyfriend screwing in my own bed when I wasn't there? Well, after he voiced his disgust, I just said, "Okay, yeah, sorry about that. It won't happen again." and dropped him off at school. I immediately texted Darren and asked him if Sage left anytime during the night, and he said at about midnight she went to go talk with her friend again. I directly told Darren about what our little brother told me, and Darren said we'd talk about it after work/school. So, we went about the day today, and when we came home, I went to Darren's car and we talked for a long time. Darren told me that Sage had been talking to her friend almost every night. We compared every little thing that we might have brushed off as nothing, but then it all clicked, >> [music] >> or so we think. These are the two bigger incidents that happened, but there are way more. We need advice or an outside perspective on these incidents and what we should do. Does this sound like cheating, [music] or are we just overthinking idiots with trust issues? Cole has never given me any reason to suspect he would cheat. He's super against it, actually, and has no girls on his phone or anything. He's an introvert, only has a few friends, and even they keep joking about how Cole pulled off even getting a girl, me, [music] to talk to him from how quiet and awkward he is. Oh, and Sage just doesn't seem like the type to do that sort of thing. Advice? I can include other incidents that make us think that this is what's happening if anyone needs more info on it. >> Royal AI >> Are either of you able to access their phones to check for messages between the two? >> I know the password to my boyfriend's phone, but I always thought that was an invasion of privacy and always trusted him not to check it. Should I check it? >> They have most definitely did it together. What else have they done? >> My little brother came home from school during a half day and texted me that they were on the couch watching a movie. But when he was coming up the stairs to the living room, he said it seemed like they were in the middle of moving away from each other. Like putting space between them. Another is one time my older brother found them in the kitchen and they were whispering. I don't know about what, but it's like they don't know each other enough to be whispering already and being hush hush over things, you know? I don't know, it's weird. >> I'm really confused why Sage literally took off work just to live in your family's house after dating your brother for a month. That's actually the weird thing here. >> Hmm, yeah, about that. I don't know either, honestly. >> Well, this is simple. The only thing to do is to get even. She's sleeping with your boyfriend. You need to jump her boyfriend. >> [screaming] >> That will teach him. >> [laughter] >> Wow. Oh my god, some of you people are crazy. What the F? Hey, so yeah, they were definitely sleeping together. But first I just want to say a quick thank you to everyone who replied to my last post. Darren and I read through them all and laughed at a few. Some of y'all are crazy. Darren told me to say that to those two or three people who said to sleep together. >> [music] >> He says, "Sorry, but we aren't from Alabama." Of course, he makes an Alabama joke. Anyways, so like I said, the two damn cheaters were sleeping together in our family house. The night after I posted, we thought about putting cameras up as the top comment suggested. [music] But then we decided for me just to go through Cole's phone. So, [music] I did. They've been texting since we first met her. So, basically, the day she got here. It looked like it was like normal conversations at first. Then the messages would be like, "He/she, my brother or me, are gone/asleep. Come to the room or meet in the bathroom." Or, "That was fun." Insert wink emoji. Just flirty texts like that. So, that pretty much confirmed it. But then, as if that wasn't enough, I saw Sage ask Cole, "Can you send that video? I want to see it." And he sent the video of them doing it. I watched the video because, well, I'm an idiot who likes to hurt their own feelings, and I watched all of it. From the first frame till the last. And wow, it was bad. They were in a certain position, and he was recording from behind, and she was calling him kinky names and kept saying, "Am I better than my name, daddy?" Or something along those lines. There was no protection [music] used. Neither did they use the pullout method. They did it in my bed. To be honest, [music] soul-crunching as it was, it was funny seeing that he wouldn't answer her when she would ask, which I assume is why she kept saying it. It hurt [music] seeing my boyfriend of a year going at it another girl, of course. But, what can I do about something that's already happened many times? So, I did what any sane and betrayed person would do. >> [music] >> Sent the video to myself and didn't bother deleting the evidence. Oh, and I sent it to my brother. That same night, we confronted them. Of course, they both denied it at first. Then, I showed them the video I had sent to myself. Then, that's when they both started crying and apologizing. I've never had to deal with a cheater in real life, let alone two. But, man, is it pathetic when they get caught. I literally had to hold back a burst of laughter when Cole started crying. Because, why are you the one crying when I'm the victim? Ugh, don't hit me with that illogical weakness. Darren told Sage she's kicked out and he didn't care where she went. She tried to say that she had nowhere to go because she burned her bridges. >> [music] >> She added that she lived 3 hours away and that he picked her up, so she had no car, either. Darren said he couldn't care less. Told her she had 1 hour to grab all her things and get the hell out. That it was one thing to go behind his back, but hurting me, too, was a big no-no. Love protective older brothers. So, he kicked her out and I told Cole he had to leave back home, too. About a 20-minute drive from our house. He tried to ask if we could talk about it, that we shouldn't let this ruin our year relationship, using all the cheater excuses there is. And I just told him I was done with him. So, they both left. Did they meet up after? Probably. Do I care? Nah, not really. >> [music] >> He didn't have a job or a car, and he even stated he doesn't really want a job, either. >> [music] >> He lives off his daddy's money. Embarrassing for me that I was with him for so long. So, if they wanted to even try to make that work, she'd have to deal with that. Not my problem anymore. After they left, that's when I cried and let it out, >> [music] >> and Darren comforted me. He even cried a bit himself. Cole has tried DMing me on Instagram, but I just leave him on seen. Sage has even DM'd me, too, apologizing and asking if I could tell [music] Darren to call her. Um, nah, let's not. So, that's what happened. Thanks, Reddit, for your kind words and advice. We both appreciate it a lot. And Darren definitely learned his lesson on moving too fast in relationships. [music] So did I. >> Burn your sheets and flip your mattress. Glad you kicked those losers to the curb. Better yet, get a new mattress. Or maybe not in this economy, but still, get tested, both of youse. Cheaters going to cheat. They made their bed. Let them lie in it. And don't grace them with a second thought. Cut them from your life like the parasites they are, and move on. A lot of people go for the forbidden fruit, and when it's not forbidden anymore, the appeal drains away. They're most probably not even meeting anymore. >> When you said you started to cry, I started laughing. Super sucky for you and your brother in the comments of you two hooking up, but it made me laugh as well. Proud of you for leaving him and not replying. That is difficult sometimes. Honestly, the worst part is how comfortable they were lying to both of you while doing it in your own house. At least now you know the truth and can move on. I'm sorry for you and your brother. You both need to go get tested for STIs. You never know. You guys barely knew that Sage girl, and Cole may not have been as shy as you thought. One of the wildest Reddit posts I've ever read. Boggles my mind how there are five adults in a house and no one knows they were doing it in the middle of the night. Y'all live in a mansion? >> Every time one of them DMs you, reply with the video. No words, just the video. Rinse, repeat. Haha, well, this is Reddit and not real advice though. I'd be careful about sending out the video even if to the cheaters due to revenge pee laws that may apply. It's a funny thought though. Wait, I know one better. Remind them by only replying Daddy never answered your question. >> Royal AI Who boy, you got me fired up with this one. I just can't. Those cheaters got exactly what they deserved. Kicked to the curb with nowhere to go. That audacity to cheat with your sibling's partner in your own bed while living rent-free? Mind-boggling. Zero respect or even a shred of decency. I'd rather put a campfire out with my face than let that slide. Texts not deleted, [music] video saved, noise is loud enough for the little brother to hear? It's like they wanted the drama. Still gives me the ick. Why let near strangers move in so fast? Mom letting Sage crash after 1 month? Insane choices complicating your lives. And the crazy ending of Sage asking you to talk to Darren? Hilarious. Nah. Let them rot. OP, I hope you have higher standards next time. Your ex was a loser from the get-go and all the red flags were obvious. In the end, you tag-teamed them perfectly. So, I'm happy with the protective [music] sibling stuff. But I do really hope you reflect on this situation, too. And like others said, burn those sheets, get tested, [music] and move on with your real family. Cole and Sage can step on a trillion Lego pieces. >> [screaming] >> Viewer takeaways on this episode. One, don't let someone you've known for weeks or even months move into the family house rent-free. That level of comfort breeds exactly this entitled [music] crap. Two, trust your gut when the pieces line up, but verify with facts like phone checks before you explode. Then evict fast, no negotiations. Three, higher standards next round. I'm [snorts] repeating it for a reason, OP. Losers who can't hold a job or keep it in their pants don't deserve prime real estate in your life. Or your band. >> Wow, thank you so much for your support, my Patreon members. Let me know if you like this episode. And if so, there's way [music] more on my channel. See you in the next one. Bye-bye.