Video summary
The video review centers on Jason Statham's latest action film, *Mutiny*, which follows a bodyguard framed for his boss's murder as he infiltrates a cargo ship involved in human trafficking. The reviewer argues that while the movie itself is perfectly adequate and predictable, it fails to warrant a trip to the cinema due to its low-budget execution and lack of grand scale. Instead of delivering the spectacular set pieces expected from a Statham film, the movie feels like a bare-bones *Die Hard* clone where the protagonist meanders through dark corridors and engages in repetitive fight sequences that offer little surprise or innovation. The reviewer concludes that viewers would be better served waiting for the film to stream on platforms like Amazon Prime or Netflix, as there is nothing visually spectacular about it that justifies paying for a theater ticket.
However, the primary reason the reviewer strongly advises against seeing this film in theaters lies not with the movie's quality, but with the disastrous behavior of the audience present at the screening. The experience was marred by numerous disruptions, including people lining up along the walls trying to find seats that were already taken, ignoring security personnel who barely enforced any rules, and individuals wandering around the darkened theater with their phone flashlights on maximum brightness. These distractions made it nearly impossible to enjoy the film, turning what should have been an immersive experience into a chaotic ordeal where viewers were constantly interrupted by people asking for open seats or loudly discussing their movements.
The situation escalated significantly when the reviewer describes specific incidents involving audience members eating snacks that crumbled onto the floor and others standing up repeatedly without purpose. The reviewer humorously recounts a fantasy sequence where he imagines himself transforming into Jason Statham to violently punish these offenders, describing a surreal battle against "fat asses" rummaging through snack packs and "ghosts" blocking aisles with their phones. This imagined rampage serves as a satirical exaggeration of his frustration, highlighting how the collective lack of respect from other patrons completely overshadowed the actual content of the movie, making it one of the worst theater experiences he has ever endured.
Ultimately, the reviewer's conclusion is that *Mutiny* is an unremarkable entry in Statham's filmography that offers nothing new for fans who have already seen his previous work like *The Beekeeper*. While the audience at the screening seemed to enjoy themselves despite the chaos, the reviewer felt no emotional connection to the story, noting that the only feeling was a desire for Statham to win. He suggests that if viewers are impressed by his earlier films, they might find this one slightly better than their expectations but ultimately disappointing. The review ends with a sarcastic acceptance of a sequel and a call for support via Patreon, reinforcing the idea that the film is just another routine action movie that does not deserve the hype or the time spent in a crowded theater.
Read the full video transcript
Jason Staithm stars as Jason Staithm in
Jason Staithm the movie. Buckle the [ __ ]
up because it's been one month already,
which means there's another Jason
Stathithm movie. Pretty soon there's not
going to be a profession left for him to
play. They're going to have to start
making up ones for new roles. In his
newest flick, Mutiny, he plays a
bodyguard who's on the run for being
framed for the murder of his boss. This
takes him to a cargo ship full of bad
guys who are human trafficking folks
across the ocean. And from there, the
rest is history with a capital his. The
question I'm here to solve today is
Mutiny another film for you to peel your
father off the couch to go see in
theaters, or would you be better served
waiting a few weeks for this to
inevitably [ __ ] out the backside of
Amazon Prime or Netflix? I'm going to
tell you in a spoiler-free review. Not
that that means anything because there's
nothing to spoil in this.
The film is only 90 minutes long, so
you're in and out before you know it.
It's rated R for some good old-fashioned
violence, some blood, and a little bit
of swearing mixed in. Sorry ladies, no
Jason Staithm nudity this time. And
unfortunately, sorry Adam, because the
female doesn't get naked either, and
she's a smoke show. She looks like what
I imagine an Instagram influencer mil
makeup model would look like. Try saying
that five times fast. Try saying that
one time fast. I could barely get
through it. And unfortunately, I could
barely get through Mutiny. And no, it's
not because of the quality of the film.
It's because the quality of the
audience, as one would expect, opening
night at a Jason Staithm film. No, no,
no, no, no, no. The film itself is
perfectly meh across the board. You get
a couple scenes of Stathithm popping out
of a vent, taking out a gun,
grabbing whatever instrument he can find
lying around,
[screaming]
saying some campy oneliner like we're
still living the glory days of the '9s.
And of course, not getting the girl
because we don't do the the nudity and
penetration anymore in new action
movies. No, it's all business all the
time. We can't have pleasure. Penetrate,
short for penetration. Cinema wise, you
are missing nothing if you wait until
this one comes to home theater. There
there's nothing that screams watch this
on the big IMAX screen. It's it's bare
bones by the number. There's a lot of
dark shots in the film where he's
skulking around behind shipping
containers, going in and out of
different rooms,
[clears throat]
walking into the hulls, climbing up air
ventilation systems. This felt like
budget Die Hard on a ship. One man
taking down the skeleton crew and
hopefully taking out the captain in the
process. I say hopefully like it's any
secret whether or not Jason Stathithm is
going to win the day. These are the
types of films you don't put any thought
into. These are the types of movies
where everything just kind of lines up
perfectly, but if you think about it,
nothing makes a lick of sense.
Unfortunately, outside a couple of cool
fighting sequences and some gun play
here and there where the main bad guy
has like an AR-15 and he only peppers
shoots once in a while, Staithm runs
around a corner instead of just going
it's always just
the film feels very lowbudget. There's
no big action set pieces. There's
nothing grand in scale. It's just
another by the book Staithm adventure
where he just goes around
tripping guys,
[snorts] cracking wise once in a while.
And unfortunately, it takes a while to
get to that stuff. The first 35,40
minutes is a lot of meandering around
the ship, just walking and
peeking around corners. A couple times I
thought they were setting up a cool
action scene only for it to go nowhere.
Two or three I can think of. one, he's
he's down in the bowels of the ship and
a couple guys come into the room. They
have the head things on because it's
really loud and I'm like, "Okay, here we
go. This is a cool setting for and they
just left." And then another time he's
in one of the rooms and he shoots out
the power and it goes red and dark and
you can barely see [ __ ] in the film and
those guys leave too. They just lock him
in. So they kind of dangle the Staithm
in front of you and then pull it away.
They st them tease you. Now, I
understand there are different folks
that enjoy different things, and I'm not
going to say my taste is above anyone
else. Certainly not above the the gems
that wandered into the movie theater
tonight with me. I will say this, if
you've been impressed with his catalog
up until this point, if you thought
Beekeeper was like top tier action, uh,
that one's quite a bit better than this,
and I thought that movie was dumb, then
you might think Mutiny is worth a trip
out with the papa. Again, I'm just
telling you there's really nothing you
haven't seen here before, but the
audience I was with seemed to be kind of
into it. They would oo and awe once in a
while. I mean, there was no emotion to
feel outside of Yeah, Jason. But I do
want to talk about the audience. Um, you
you can leave now if you're new here.
Please think of subbing to the show.
Adam does movies. I I post movie
reviews, uh, commentary on films, live
streams on occasion. Uh, I would love to
have you stick around. I appreciate it.
Now, I'm going to go into a [ __ ]
about this uh theater experience I had.
I thought about making it a separate
video, but this probably is only a four
or five minute review anyways. We might
as well go for broke on it. This was an
early showing that's open to the public
and to movie critics. They they assign
me a seat because I'm I'm just so damn
special, you know? There's my name,
Adam. Adam does movies right there in
the middle of the theater. That's fun.
And then they also email out people that
are on a list that can go to movies
early. It's first come, first serve. if
there's not a seat, you know, too bad.
They they try to guesstimate it
correctly and get the right amount of
butts and the right amount of seats. But
sometimes, you know, it doesn't work out
well and you're off on the sidelines for
a little bit trying to find that one
opening. So, I got there about 10
minutes before showing. I found my seat.
I sat down, got my Coca-Cola classic,
sat next to an older gentleman who has
been in the movie industry for 50 years.
And when I say in the industry, in the
biz, I mean, he he plays the movies up
top. He's a he's a projectionist. And so
at this particular AMC, he runs the
projection here a couple times a week.
It's a nice deal and he gets to go see
these movies after work. He was a very
lovely individual and I hope our paths
cross down the road again. And I also
kind of hoped the rest of the audience
would be as respectful to each other as
this guy was. And now we come to the
point where I hope someday Jason Staithm
can play me in a feature film where he
kills most of the people in this
screening because that's exactly what I
wanted to do. The movie has officially
started. The lights have dimmed. Out of
the corner of my eye, I see a good chunk
of people lining against the wall
looking for rogue seats that they can
sit in. Keep in mind, the front two rows
are pretty much entirely open. But who
the hell wants to sit in the front row
outside of Maniacs? There was also
security posted at one of the exits who
was supposed to go around and keep the
riff raff at bay and make sure people
aren't on their phones. And might I just
add, this guy sucked at his job. Only
one time out of the 10 available to him
did he utilize that position of power.
And he did go over and talk to the dumb
asses in the front row that had their
phone on bright scrolling away for the
first five minutes of this [ __ ] movie
premiere. He certainly didn't seem to
mind when 30 full minutes into the
movie, there were still people lined on
the side talking pretty loudly about
where they were going to sit. Several
times throughout the course of that
first 25, 30 minutes, they would wander
up and down the rose with one jackass
had his phone max brightness kind of
like tucked up against his rib. So the
white was just
illuminating him like he's a [ __ ]
ghost and he kind of hovered around like
a ghost. IS THERE AN OPEN SPOT HERE?
GENEVIEVE. GENEVIEVE. GENEVIEVE. I THINK
THAT SPOT'S OPEN over there. No, you
dumbass. You went to the bathroom. sit
down. I wish someone called him a
dumbass. I wish someone told them to sit
down. Alas, these people were allowed to
just be obnoxious, annoying, flashing
their phones everywhere throughout the
entire course of the film. Eventually,
they would bite the bullet and they
would go sit up front. Great. Nice job,
idiots. But that was just but one little
portion of tonight's events. It is not
uncommon for people to get up to go to
the bathroom during a film. I have to do
it myself. I have the bladder of a
six-year-old girl. But holy [ __ ] I've
never seen waves of people come and go,
dillydallying around. One guy got up,
four rows in front of me. He just stood
up like a drone and he didn't know what
to do. No one programmed him. Beep beep
beep. Go [ __ ] yourself. He eventually
slowly walked out of the theater coming
back. God knows 20 minutes later. I
don't know what he did. I was honestly
hoping he stroked out in the hallway.
And every single one of these jackasses
would pull out their phone to light
their way on the yellow brick road to
get out of the theater room and into the
hallway. Is it hard to really see where
you're going? You know, most people's
eyes adjust to the darkness, especially
when there's a checks notes giant
[ __ ] screen in front of you. I know
Mutiny was dark a lot of the film, but
there's still plenty of light coming off
of that jumbotron. So, outside of the
ghosts hovering hither and thither,
outside of the people that would just
stand up and not really know what their
next command is for mission control, we
had my favorite couple of the night, the
two fat [ __ ] behind me that look like
they weighed about 500 lb each. They
saddled in for the night. Snack packs at
the ready. And if you're about to
comment to me and say, "How dare you fat
shame?" I'll say it a little louder for
the people in the back. Shame on these
fat asses for rumaging through their
cupboards and bringing their entire
kitchen to this movie theater. The whole
freaking movie.
This
[ __ ] was playing with the cellophane
rapping for what had to have been 20
minutes straight. Honestly, after 10, I
thought she was punking me. I thought
that this was some sort of a joke, like
she was trying to see who would flip out
and they were going to post it to the
gram.
I'm sorry. Did I go to mutiny or stomp?
Stomp feels like a very dated reference.
Subscribe. A guy in the same row as me,
five people away, was trying to figure
out if there was popcorn left in his
popcorn bucket. Everything he could
think of was on the table. So, should I
should I put it back like this? [sighs]
No, nothing's coming out. Should I reach
around at the bottom? No, nothing's
nothing's there. Oh, I know. I'll just
toss it on the ground in a fit of rage
like I'm a toddler. And that's what he
did.
It wasn't 5 seconds later that Fatty
McGee behind me was shaking her box of
craisins or Mike and I or goobers or
whatever else she pulled out of her ass
and that fell to the ground. And then I
hear the [snorts]
rolling of all the different elements
inside of that box.
I need another box. I lost most of that
to the ground. Oh, here. Here.
[clears throat]
[snorts]
Do you guys mind you mind keeping it
down? Jason Staithm's trying to shoot
someone right now.
Jason's got an axe. I'd like to see what
he does with it. [screaming]
I can't get this package open.
Just want to SEE JASON THEM KICK
SOMEONE'S ASS. AND THIS IS where I
become Jason Staithm in the
featurelength film. I slowly reach over
and grab my nearby jean jacket.
[snorts]
I put that on. I rise up. Alpha stance,
legs spread just enough so that the the
D can hang low. I look over at the slob
five seats over who's still licking his
fingers trying to get that last bit of
butter from the bottom of the container.
I reach down. We touch hands for a
second before I take one of his fingers.
[screaming]
I snap that back. I grab the empty
bucket. I spin that [ __ ] around
just for show. And then I put it on his
head.
I keep punching through that bucket in
his head until my arm is completely
covered, completely doused in butter
itself. Since I have Staithm speed and
my newfound buttery smooth arm, I spin
around razor fast [snorts] and cut one
of the fat ass's heads clear off. That
thing flies through the air like a
soccer ball, spinning like a blood
sprinkler, getting everyone drenched
head to toe before it, lands on the head
of another guy up front. I put a foot up
on one of the theater chairs and start
jumping from shoulder to shoulder
before finally taking a large leap and
elbow dropping that piece of [ __ ] Two
buddies get up. Hey, what are you doing?
I hit that guy under the jaw. His teeth
go through his nose.
I tiger claw him to the head. He falls
backwards into the other guy. His head
hits him so hard that his skull is
embedded into the other guy's nose and
you can't remove him. Looks like we have
ourselves some conjoined twins. The
other fat ass, completely shell shocked,
finally tries to get up, but he can
barely move because of all the food he's
ingested in this 90minute film. His fat
has completely buckled the chair, making
it lower to the ground, and it has
wrapped itself around the armrest to the
point where if he's getting up, the
chair is coming with him. Don't worry,
he's not getting up. I make sure of it.
As I stam walk up the aisle, I grab a
straw out of someone's cup without even
looking. Give it a flourish for good
measure and I embed it into one of the
fat ass's eyes. Thanks. I could use a
refill. I can't do impressions. [snorts]
I I suck up the brains through the eye
socket and then
snap the neck. But I'm not done yet.
Some of those roaming ghosts that had
the aura of weed smell the entire time
decide that they want to bring out the
guns they were packing. Last time I
checked, this was America, right? They
pull out the Glock, but uh-oh, where's
Adam? I take to the ground. [panting]
Generic action music. I'm scurrying
around, dodging some of the debris on
the ground, grabbing legs, breaking them
if they're in my way. They open fire.
Good thing almost everyone in this
theater sucks, so I don't care who dies.
I grab the person next to me, use him as
a human shield.
Just tell me HOW THE MOVIE ENDS. YOU
KNOW HOW IT ENDS. IT'S A JASON STATE THE
MOVIE. HE WINS.
I THROW THE body at the nearby gunman.
[snorts] He blows his own head off. The
gun flies through the air. I catch it
around the back with a no look pull.
>> [screaming]
>> There's two left with AR-15s. How the
hell did they get them past the checks
notes? Zero security because that guy
didn't do [ __ ] the whole movie. I matrix
run sideways on the wall.
[snorts]
Still sideways dodging bullets.
I lunge towards the bullet storm of the
gun that's still raised up in the air. I
grab it, drop to a knee.
I unload [snorts] an entire clip into
that guy's stomach. By the time I turn
around, I can see right through him to
the other astonished people in the
audience. After the carnage has
subsided, the whole place dripping with
blood and body parts, I thought to
myself,
the movie's called Mutiny, but Jason
Staithm does not like work for the
captain on the ship. He just jumped on
board. It's not really mutiny at all. No
one's being mutinous. So, the name kind
of pissed me off, but not as much as
this audience did. One of the worst
experiences I ever went through. I
walked out of the theater. There was a
representative outside with his
clipboard ready to hear my thoughts.
Thoughts on the film? Uh, yeah. Have you
seen a Jason Stathithm movie before?
Uh-huh. Well, then what the [ __ ] do you
need to hear from me for? They're all
the same. And then I slow motion walk
towards the camera.
Title comes up. Jason Stathithm. Can't
wait for the sequel.
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