Matt Finally Reveals The Foot Tattoos And It’s Worse Than We Thought (Season 08 Episode 15)

[laughter] I AM LIKE THIS FOREVER NOW. CASSANDRA, >> that's how he speaks to the other browns in the world. [laughter] >> There's no words said it's just fingertapp. >> My god, that's rough to look at. >> Strange shape. >> [laughter] >> No, that's hectic [ __ ] >> Oh my god. You guys have no idea what you're in for today. Today's podcast on paper, this podcast should be the best one of the whole entire season. I'm not even kidding. So much pressure. >> Everyone needs to watch this whole thing cuz we've got stories galore, some hectic segments. Not to mention this guy here done something last week. My We knew he was going to get his feet tattooed, but we didn't know when. He just rocks up. He just rocks up with his feet done. So, we're going to reveal that to you. Okay. We've also just an opportunity for a prank call fell into James' lap. So, we're going to make the most of that. More on that later. But first, let's get into talk because >> Michael and I had quite the quite the weekend. So, look >> what happened. >> So, Michael and I were invited to this gala dinner for this charity, Save Our Sons, right? And um so our our business partner got us some some tickets there and last minute she was like she was like, "Oh, they found out that we were coming. Oh, do they want to speak at the event?" And our business partner was like, "Yeah, yeah, okay." And she quickly wrote a script for us just to get it submitted. So the so the charity approved it. She sends us a script and it's like it is so not us. It is like just a very like it's it's just it's so not us this script. So, we went back to uh our business plan. We're like, "Look, we're just going to make some changes to just so it sounds like us, you know, throw some jokes in, make it less like deep and serious." And there was some certain lines in there that we were all laughing about. Like, [laughter] imagine if Michael had to say this, cuz Michael had the cringest lines, like so cringe. And we're all laughing. Imagine if Michael had to say these. Imagine if Michael had to say these. And then we get to this event and it is like there are just like wealthy multi-millionaires everywhere. It's a it's a black tie event. So we had to go and buy a suits cuz we had no clothes to go to this event. And it's like bank [snorts] it's a feast everywhere. There's like seven chefs at seven different buffet tables like preparing pasta and oyster tower Mexican. Like it's just crazy. Like the the the caliber of this event was just insane. like all the richest, most powerful, respected people in all of Australia were at this event. [screaming] >> And then so Michael AND I HAD TO MAKE a speech here. Right. >> All right. Before we get into the nitty-gritty, let me please shout out Save Our Sons Duchen Foundation on Instagram and just the charity itself because they themselves are doing an incredible job. We didn't. Okay, we know that. I know that >> we both didn't, especially me. What does a charity do? >> It's for the Duch Shannon Becca. It's like it's a like a disease, a a muscular distrophe. It just eats your muscles. And look, it's a terrible and and it is a great charity and they've done like genuinely insane things. The stories we heard were inspiring. But that is beside the point. >> No, let me just Yeah. Look, we got to focus on the charity because it is it's special. These guys have stopped kids dying in their teens and now given the like the condition because it's incurable. They're trying to find a cure a cure, but it's now the the people with Duchenne and Becca are going to live through to their 20s and 30s, which is insane. >> All right. >> Because of us. >> And it happens to mainly boys. One in a million boys get it. >> No. One in 10,000. >> 10,000 boys get it and one in a million girls get it. >> So you've got these kids that literally, you know, say if they go to the gym, lift weights, their muscles, we we they repair with proteins. They don't generate the proteins to repair the muscles. So they slowly decline. It's the saddest disease and like oh and then we obviously they do this beautiful all these wonderful speeches videos on how sad this condition is. I even teared up cuz I was just relating everything to my son Bowie going Imagine how hard this would be and then they decide to put us up on there. >> Well, it's first of all >> like all these beautiful stories and then this comedian comes up like right before our speech kills it. So the the the mood in the room is like quite like somber and like sad. Comedian comes up, lifts the spirits, like kills it. Everyone's pissing themselves laughing. Really really like laughing hard. All the the vibe is just through the roof again. Michael and I had our speeches on our phones. The new speeches, the altered speech that we changed that we were going to >> pretty much we pretty much rewrote the speech. Let's be honest. Like different cuz we don't we didn't know at the time about the condition properly and then we learned on the night when we met the owner. They were amazing. Like it was it's fascinating like how what they've done. But so we rewrote these speeches. They were completely different speeches. >> Yeah. And and so Michael not a big fan of public speaking. So Michael had practiced his speech. Like he he nearly memorized it. Really practiced the [ __ ] on the plane. I just listened to the recording of it. Recording of it. I had it down pat. >> So we get there and then right before we go on stage um one of the guys comes up and hands us like a piece of paper. Goes, "Oh, here's your scripts." And we're like, "Oh, thank God we don't have to read off our phones now." It was a series of unfortunate events that morning. We got to work, went to print it. Our printer's broken. First time in the world the [ __ ] printer's broken. So I was like, "All right, we've got to leave it at like 20 minutes early to go to Office Works. We print it out there." We go to Office Works. We give ourselves 20 minutes. Who the [ __ ] there? The whole town and some [ __ ] printing out a scrapbook. Junkified [ __ ] >> Huge line at Office Works. So we're like, we waited like 10 minutes and we're like >> for the printers or for the desk? >> For the printers? >> For the printers. Wow. >> It's It was unbelievable. Like huge line the middle of the day. But anyway, so we're like, >> we go to the airport. We're in a rush. >> We'll just read off our phones. We get there. Yeah. This this comedian kills it. And then right before we go on stage, oh, here we we printed your scripts. We're like, great. Don't have to read it from our phones. That's all. >> You didn't reread the scripts at all. >> Well, we didn't have time. They handed it to us right before we go up. All right, Marty and Michael. And we're like getting the speeches up like, "Oh, it must be ours." >> They're playing our intro video and it was a good intro video. It's like this crazy stunt and like and everyone's like, "Oh, excited." You know, mood's really high. And then we get up on there. >> I look down and it's the original script that they had given us, right? I didn't realize immediately because the beginning for me was very similar. So I just started talking and reading. Michael realized [laughter] I knew the first line. I was like, "This isn't my line." And then but you know when you cuz I'm so terrified being up there on stage like talking. >> It was like all right. He didn't want to walk off and grab his phone like >> Oh, you didn't have it like in your >> I I probably did, but I didn't. It's like dis It's like someone who's getting abused. Why don't they just get away from the abuser? >> Yeah. And you don't have the time to quickly go, "Oh, I realize it's the bad speech. I'll quickly go through my phone, find the note." >> It looks weird. And And also, Michael just im he was cuz he didn't know this speech. So, and he struggles to read. So, he's just focusing so hard trying TO READ THIS THIS [screaming] HE HASN'T PRACTICED BEFORE. And so stumbling, stumbling his words and like we both just sound like like just not us. We just sound like just like completely like we haven't written this speech. So it's this real serious like I don't know. It's just we'll play some parts of it. But it is just so and [clears throat] this line that Michael had in the script that we were laughing at all week. >> Yeah. Teasing him about this all week. Like saying I I was like, "No, we'll leave that in. We'll definitely laugh. There's no way we would have left." And we were like, "Oh, imagine if Michael actually had say that." Laughing. And the line was because mates never leave mates behind. Like Michael had to say that. And so we realized I realized like halfway through. And then I see Michael that line coming up. And I knew that Michael's so focused on just reading what's on there that he wasn't going to be able to think at while he's reading think what can I say instead of that. So I start like getting like surely he's not going to say it. Surely he'll just say like, "Oh, you know, thanks. Thanks guys. And then you know that's it. Gets down to it and like it's this super serious speech and then he says the line he says because mates don't leave mates behind. >> NO. [screaming] >> OKAY. >> After stumbling through the whole speech. >> Yeah. Firstly it's it's brown level reading it. That is that's official. >> I don't think I'd [ __ ] that speech up. >> And then secondly I am like I I can't deal with public speaking. Thirdly I was it's like everything was white. I was like, I can't I I just need to read the script. It was like I was just getting it was trauma after trauma >> and then I was like, the quicker I read this, the quicker I'm off the stage. That was my thinking. >> So, what was so scary? >> THE FACT THAT I'M AT MY BEACH AND IT'S JUST LIKE strange like intimidating people in front of us. >> Powerful people. We did not belong there. >> Not at all. We did not belong there. Everyone's in it's just very fancy and upper class. Like just not us at all. And you don't want to be thinking about anything other than just speaking. Like if you've prepared and you know this speech, you're expecting to just get up there and say what you have practiced. Then your brain is going, "Oh my god, it's not what I've written is completely different." And that's what your brain's thinking rather than just speak and deliver. >> Oh no, I would hate that too, dude. >> It was one of the worst moments of my life. Oh. So, so he says, Michael says the line and thank God I only had one little bit left to say after it cuz in the middle of this serious speech, you can see, we'll show you the footage. You can see I nearly lose it. I nearly start pissing myself laughing and then luckily I just kind of panic and then read the last line and then we're done and we get off stage. But man, >> Michael saying that line. It was so fun. And as soon as we get off stage, someone goes, "Oh, oh, um, did you guys didn't write that, did you?" Like immediately picked it. Oh, that's hor that's worse. >> OH, DUDE. AND AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE CAME OVER and goes, "Oh, don't worry. Like, you guys will get better at that." [screaming] >> Like sympathy. Like, we were timid >> losers. That was such an opportunity, too. Like, you could have spoken so well, >> dude. 100%. So, >> what is it with you guys in live shows? You just besides our own >> [ __ ] always happens to us. >> Of course, printers broken. Office works junkies galore. Planes late. So, then we got to buy suits and we're like, "Oh, we can we can't have time printing." Oh, we'll just read it from our phones. We've got it ready. I've enlarged it. Got it in dot point form cuz I memorized most of it. And then bang. Since I can't I had it in my head. But here's his difference. He's reading different [ __ ] Know when to come in and when to go out. >> This is why I should have come. I would have sorted it out. I would have made sure it was printed. >> Dude, it was Oh, man. So, let's just play a couple of things this live cuz we want that cringe factor live. Mo, you got to listen to it. You got to confront this. >> Oh, man. >> Put your headphones on. >> Oh, I haven't watched this. We'll play this for you guys and then we'll come back to Michael's reaction. >> And uh so we come up with our motto, our pain eases yours with the thought behind it being we take the hit, you have a laugh and hopefully that feels a bit better. They also gave us the desire to speak with experts, keep learning and have a and help create a platform where important knowledge and the people behind it can be heard. knowledge moving faster, families supported before they reach breaking point in a system that sees the person, not just the diagnosis. Den progress progressively takes physical strength away. But learning about duchen has shown us that strength is not simply what your muscles can do. Strength is a young person contributing to build a life and identifi identity and a future. It is a nurse who keeps fighting for better care. is a researcher who returns to the laboratory after another setback and it is a community deciding that these families will never face this alone. Now we want to use our audience for something bigger to help people understand and make families visible and turn attention into action because mates don't leave mates behind. And we're going to endeavor to use our voices and our platform to help bring attention to this course. Um and until better care is available for everyone and until the cure for every family is waiting for finally arrives >> to build a life and identity identity future as a parent. [laughter] And >> the best bit his line at the end. Oh dude attention >> and watch my face. I nearly lose >> right [laughter] there. So close. Massive people. What the [ __ ] is Marty smiling so hard at? >> You said that line better than the rest of your speech. >> I know cuz it's the only [ __ ] line I remember cuz you guys were joking about it all week. >> Oh man, that's just one line too because mates don't leave mates behind. [laughter] >> You know that the roughest part when I was watching is the 400 people in that room. You could hear a penny drop. >> Yeah, dude. >> No. No. Like no one like giving you some some like even nose laughs. Nothing like a >> nothing. None of that, >> dude. We killed the whole vibe. >> Everyone was real happy and relaxed. Like the comedians just walked off stage and then we [ __ ] bomb this serious. >> Dude, it was rough. >> And like look, firstly, make sure you've got your own printed speech out. That's what we've learned here. >> But no, make sure you take James next time is what you series of unfort It's always happens. It's always just >> happens. just push the failed cringe aside. Guys, please if you can go give Save Our Sons Duchen Foundation on Instagram a follow and support this cause because now I do know about it and now I could actually talk about it and I will talk about it. >> So yeah, that was our Friday night speech. That was really nice. You should have done that. >> You practiced that though. >> Not really. I just [laughter] came to me. >> Yeah. So, that was Friday night and then Oh, man. It was just that was rough. >> It was the worst. Like, it was up there with AGT, dude. It was up there with a America's Got Talent fail. It was like that. Like, I was in the shower just [laughter] the whole car ride home with Marty when we finally got alone cuz the party went on after that. We're just sitting there as they're doing the auctions. I'm just dying inside. And then we're like, we got to get out of here once they All right, go to the dance floor. We snuck out the back, got straight out of there. I'm just screaming like this in the car. And he's watching it just going, "Dude, look at this." [laughter] I'm like, >> all weekend I just would think of it and just pissed myself laughing. One of those. >> Marty deals with cringe really well. I've noticed like when >> I was the worst. >> We were dying for days, you and me. Marty was like, "It's all right. Whatever. Who cares?" >> What would you rather? Would you rather that do that speech again or get burnt around the neck again? >> I'd rather up a fire. [laughter] Yeah. Easy. >> No. What if you could Oh, you have to do the same speech again. >> Yeah. See? Yeah. If I could do my speech, I'd do that. But then if I had to do that a speech again and suffer that, I'd rather the fire rope. >> Yeah. Look, that was um >> that was a very very funny night. >> Cringe cringe turned funny. But yeah, that that that was our weekend. At least it was a good cause. Oh man, it's Yeah. Like so sad >> cuz people knew us there like and they you know people getting like photos with us saying hi to us. They would have been like what the >> is this? >> Yeah. What happened? They would have been oh man if I was like a fan and I was like Marty and Michael is speaking tonight. I would have been really looking forward to that. >> Yeah. >> I reckon if you were there I would have laughed. I wouldn't have been able to fight when he said that line. I [laughter] reckon we would have been >> you would have seen me. I just would have been in the audience like >> if any if I heard anyone else laugh or make any like have any reaction to that I would have been gone for sure. >> I think I would have reacted the same way I did at your stand up where I just went like this [laughter] >> and and then can you imagine if I like broke out into laughter [laughter] >> anyway guys like laughed or something like that. It would have been 100 times worse. Wouldn't have fit at all. >> Yeah. You can't put laughter into moments like that. They did just have a comedian on. >> Yeah. And that's the thing. You should have just been yourselves. >> I know. Well, that's if I had my speech, I would have to I would have been myself with my speech. >> Yeah. Look, mate. Hey, >> things there's worse [laughter] things in the world. >> These guys just been hacking into me, bullying me. I'm the new [ __ ] >> Michael. Michael, what have I not done? >> Yeah, Matt Brown's been very well. Good. >> He's been very >> Will you learn from that? I don't think so. >> I'm trying to learn. >> Why does this [ __ ] always happen to us though? Like, okay, AGT unprepared, but hard to prepare for. very hard to prepare for. >> Yeah. Well, your style, you can't prepare for that really. You're not going to do horrific stunts 50 times leading up to a performance. >> And the [ __ ] fire rope. Oh, cringe. The [ __ ] that speech. It's just anything public was just kind of like got a bit of a um monkey on our back. >> Yeah, we [ __ ] up every public for >> Do you have the mindset that you're going to [ __ ] and I'm going to get it done? >> Well, like party live shows like goes on without hitch. I'm not worried like >> Yeah. No, but I was part of the bloody fire rope thing, too. And that went skew. >> I don't know cuz I and AGT >> all the live things I've done in my head, I'm like, "This is going to go disastrous." And then I just I'll go out there and I just do it and it and it works. >> You know what it's the things that have gone wrong have always been for an audience that isn't ours. If we know our audience, we probably just feel a million times more comfortable. But also that really was just a series of extremely unfortunate. We we in any other world if printer doesn't break, office works line isn't massive. We get our own speech and it's fine. >> No one hands us a speech that's not ours. And then we just >> and then literally right before we walk on stage, oh here's your speeches. Here's your speeches. Like oh cool. And then >> why didn't you give it to like 10 minutes earlier so we can go to check it >> 100%. >> Oh anyway, look [ __ ] happens and now we move on and I am we will never move on. Michael said identify. I mean identity. He says that in the speech and we are going to have some merch. Identify. One thing is certain. I'll never leave you boys behind. >> Yeah. No, that's right, mate. And that's the number one thing. Thank you. >> That is very Aussie and mateship. That is Anzac reincarnated. That is against 2020. >> Okay. >> Anyway, look, let's get into this episode cuz like I said, we got some [ __ ] and the Brown has his foot tattoos to reveal. Yes, >> I got muddy socks on at the moment. >> How bad was the pain? >> Um, yeah, it was pretty it was pretty excruci especially the second foot. >> Yeah, man. Yeah, I said that. It's always the first one. It's like your nervous system just can't handle it. >> And uh all like I got there and they're like, "Oh, wow. You're getting your feet tattooed. Okay. Yeah, we've seen the other boys and they're all excited and then they're like and I'm like, "Oh, it's my first tattoo." And you see all their faces go just all into shock. >> I knew about it. So, I went in and I got some footage. We'll show you guys some footage of >> Yeah, we have a whole Sorry, there's a whole how long is it? 3 minute sort of segment on it. So, >> top comment [laughter] >> thing. Michael, was that good? >> Don't you dare. >> I'll start top comment when I want. [laughter] >> I'll start with the >> I'll start with the YouTube top comment so we can get a no out. Hey, >> is he proud of no? Top comment from YouTube goes to Bryce Carter. 8685. >> Cheers, Bryce. >> 73 likes. James should get shoe tattoos as well. >> Chew tattoos. >> Shoe. >> Oh, >> who can't speech now, baby? >> Mate, that will never be as bad as your speech. I'm sorry. >> Your speech? [laughter] >> You mean my speech? >> Yeah. [laughter] I'm sad. Anyway, James is going to get What are you going to get? >> I actually have something to show you, boys. >> Oh, dude, that would be the best. >> I don't. And I'm never doing that. >> Ink. Actually, it's been proven now that tattoo ink gives you some sort of blood disease and you can die younger. Tattoos technically can kill you. So, you've just taken three months off your life. >> Dock me with all your restrictions, mate. >> Yeah. Look, here's here's my excuse. I'm on the podcast, but Marty and Michael hired Matt as a personality to be on camera. That is not why I got hired. I'm professional and I will remain that way. >> Yeah, that's true. James does get roped into pain when that is not what he signed up for. >> Yeah, I do it sometimes cuz I get screamed at in the comments if I don't. >> Yeah, I'm looking at you. [laughter] >> But >> who have you got a name? >> No, I'm just looking at everyone. >> Oh, I thought he had a name in mind. >> James can do it. No, I'll be in the room doing an email. [laughter] >> Sorry, I lashed out. >> Give a round of applause. It does deserve a round of applause. >> Yeah. No, that is that's a good point. Thanks, [applause] Bryce. Thank you, Bryce. Thank you. >> If you had to get a shoe tattoo, what would you get? >> I would get a tiny little shoe. Like a tiny shoe just in fine line underneath so no one can see. >> Oh, for thongs it's just two lines. Oh, that's the worst. The people who got that. It's so rough. >> Oh, cuz it looks [ __ ] >> Yeah, I've seen >> No. Well, it's not. Yeah, it's the bogan factor. >> I've seen a few pictures of Javiana's been done. Don't not good. >> Yeah, look. >> I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what I do. There's not one Jew I would want on my feet. [gasps] >> Spotify top comment. It went from to the Australian animal. >> Wombat. >> Wombat. If this gets top comment, Matt has to go on a lie detector machine for 15 minutes. >> Yes. >> Oh, wow. >> Dude, we should >> We could all do that. We should get Matt on a lie detector test. >> Should Can we get like one that zaps you as well? >> Well, we can just zap you if you lie. >> Oh, can't we just do it with no pain? >> Oh, sorry. We'll take the zap. >> Should we get a lie detector guy in? >> Yeah, >> we don't need pain with that. We just do it for fun. >> It's a great idea. >> Where are you going? Oh, I thought you were farting. >> Yeah. No, that's wonderful. [applause] Great job, mate. Yeah, let's do that. That'd be sick. And then we can just ask Matt all about like his like sexual conquest and stuff. And >> I don't need a machine. I'll tell you. >> Make his um [laughter] >> like all the things. >> How many? >> Thousands. [laughter] Like we can say things like, "Have you ever like pressured even when a girl clearly didn't [laughter] want to bloody Sydney bloody swans over here?" >> Did you [laughter] defamation? Sorry. >> Hello. >> What' you say, Michael? [laughter] Did you ask a question? >> Would you know what it's like when everyone [ __ ] over you? >> I didn't. If you look back in the footage, I said nothing. >> Yeah, I know. You got talked over. >> I didn't say anything. talked over. >> I said no word. >> Ever since that speech, we're all talking right over you, mate. I'm >> timid now. >> Right over. >> I'M JUST A LOSER. >> SORRY. You had a question? >> No, I didn't say anything. Sorry. >> What was your question? >> I thought he sat there was like he was waiting. >> We all went quiet for a bit there. That's never happened on this podcast. >> I was waiting for Michael. >> Yeah. Look, I'm just having flashbacks constantly. Okay. >> Well, [ __ ] At least you didn't have to do what Marty had to do. One of the scariest things I have ever seen you do is go under your roof. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was scary. Oh yeah. >> For context, we um me and M have been hearing noises in our walls. So, go up into the roof and um >> insulation everywhere and then like you crawl up >> and then um there's just huge snake skins everywhere. Biggest snake skins I've ever seen. >> How many did you find in the end? >> Four. And that I just start backing out cuz I was like this thing could be under the insulation. >> Probably is somewhere just chilling in the >> good thing is probably just a python. It's >> Yeah. >> That's not Yeah. And then it'll take care of the rats and >> so like that's good. >> It's growing up there. It's probably got food >> cuz we've never ever had a rat or or a mouse. So you've decided to keep it. >> Yeah. Well, I'm I can't If I get rid of it, then it'll just be replaced with rats. >> Mom and dad have a little local carpet python. Not little. Huge. >> Oh, is it the one you ran over that time? >> No, I don't know. Don't know if it's the same one, but it's We've seen it multiple times at their house. >> And aren't they territorial? So if there's one there, it'll [ __ ] the other ones off. I don't know. >> I don't know. We've got one in our garage. Luke found a huge snake skin in the um in the costume area. >> Do a speech about it. [laughter] >> Yeah, I'm just going to try and forget about it. I think that's for the best. >> That's what I try and do about the weekend. >> Identify [laughter] >> and my love life. >> All right. Look, reminder to uh the tickets for our live screening of our podcast finale will be available, I reckon, in two episodes time. >> Less, I reckon. >> Okay, maybe even next episode. >> Let's Let's aim for next episode. The tickets will be dropping >> and November the 7th, which is a Saturday night. So, get your tickets and get ready cuz it's going to be a wild night. We're going to the Paxton. >> Yep. And the the cinema is at the Palace Barracks which is just near Suncorp Stadium. So if you get any accommodation near Suncorp Stadium, you're laughing. >> Yeah. So it's going to be a good night. And the we're going to make sure that the live the season finale show is like we're going to have some cool segments in there. Um and one that I'm really looking forward to is um Brown about town. >> Oh, please let this happen. >> What's that? That's where so we go out into public and um we tell Matt what what interview questions to ask like >> certain people. >> I didn't agree to that. >> You're like a reporter. >> Yeah. A brown reporter. >> That' be a boring segment. >> Not if you're listening to us. We're doing the speech for you. I wish I had an earpiece >> on the weekend. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> So you you're fine. >> How can we figure out your lines? Wonder if we have like a little headphone that isn't too obvious. >> Yeah, I think there's things you can buy on Amazon. >> Couldn't I just wear my >> Oh, your beanie. >> Couldn't I just wear my headphones anyway? >> What about two cups with a string and it's just Oh, great idea. Yeah. No, we'll do that. >> Yeah, it's good. And have you guys just >> and just put it under a hat [laughter] meters away. >> What about a telegram system? >> That one was funnier. >> North Code system. >> That one was funnier. >> The cup thing was good. [laughter] Telegram. >> All right. >> So, look, that's that's uh that's our life at the moment. We're back into filming. We got some good content coming your way. Um and we [clears throat] also have some Carver coming your way soon. So, um as you may have seen and or heard on the grapevine, we have our first strain of Carver packed, ready to go. Our second strain, which is even stronger, >> is on its way. It's it's like it's this it's a strain called wacka and it's was it's never been turned into instant before. It's the strongest strain you can you do in the traditional method where you kind of marinate it and it's turned into an instant and apparently it hard like I'm talking black. [laughter] >> Yeah. It can wipe you out. So we thought look in honor of launching Dr. Bodson let's start using it. Let's start using it on who? Kevin. So, we're going to call Kevin, tell him to come down this week. I think we just start him off soft with a two scooper. >> Yeah. So, two scoops is what we >> Good. Michael >> is what we recommend if you've never had Carver before. So, we're going to see his reaction after two, then next episode, four, then six, then eight, then 10, then hospital. [laughter] >> Yeah. So, two, two, two, two, we go up to twos. Why not? >> So, >> and for reference, too. So, Michael and I have we have five scoops of this stuff, five teaspoons, uh, when we have a serving, which is quite a lot. You're not you're not probably three. Three is probably like your your starting dose, but obviously we have tolerance. >> Yeah. >> So, um, yeah. But anyway, so let's have a quick bong break and we'll be right back with Kevin trying some Carvey as well as prank calling a [ __ ] dentist. Guys, if you want to go on the car up, join our weight list and you'll see all the updates what's coming soon. >> Where do they go? Where do they go to get on the weight list Friday night? >> Marty, come on. Really, really commit to this. Come on. That's it, >> Michael. >> Oh, not up the shorts. All right, we're back and we've just realized that we're going to have to do a uh segment now or a competition between me and Brown cuz I know I can kick your ass in public speaking if I'm writing my own speeches. >> No, >> no, we do your speech. >> They will be written by someone else. [laughter] >> Level playing field%. >> Okay. >> H actually maybe we should let him speak for one minute prepared, one minute impromptu. I think that's only fair. >> Too much just right. No, both are important for speaking. >> I'll get Kevin. [laughter] >> It's Kevin's birthday yesterday. >> Hello. >> Hello, Kevin. >> Come down, my boy. We wish to feed you. >> Okay. He was being cutie. He was using a different language. >> He was being cute. He was flirting. That was flirting. >> All right, let's get a cover ready for the [ __ ] >> It's already here. >> You must put the teaspoons in. We just need a spoon. I [ __ ] up. >> I'll go get a spoon. I'LL TELL KEVIN. KEVIN, ARE YOU HERE YET? >> Has now arrived. It was his birthday yesterday. Happy birthday. >> Everyone, let everyone wish Kevin a happy birthday in the comments. He's a 19year-old. He's turning into a fine young man. And here he is. Come on. Have a seat. >> Filling his lungs with cano and filling his liver full of piss all morning. >> Yeah, that's it. All right, Kevin. So, we're going to start you off on two two teaspoons. Kevin's a seasoned carver drinker, so we aren't expecting much of an effect. But look, we got to for to stay true to the science, we start at two. >> Stir my boy. [laughter] All right, Kevin. We've got a for us, too. So, >> [clears throat] >> Like we've mentioned, the worst thing about Carver is the taste. Um, so I like to have a little chaser ready to go. So something just a little bit sweet like a banana, a bit of chalky. Bit of chalky. >> Kev, don't have a chaser and see if you can keep a completely straight face. >> It's hard. >> It's the [laughter] carver challenge. >> Very bitter earth. It's like It's kind of like [laughter] >> Matt's not into it today. He's He's thinking about joining in. >> Oh, he's cracking. [laughter] He's thinking about >> He likes that it's starting and then it escalates [laughter] AND [laughter] >> [laughter] >> Are you ready to drink it, by the way? >> He loves that, man. >> Sip your drink. >> Oh, man. It's hard to say no. >> All right, we're going to go chase a list just for the first 30 seconds. Then I'll hand you some nana. Okay. All right, guys. And then >> you must keep a straight face and look down the camera, Kevin. >> And then you have to articulate how it's making you feel in about 10 minutes or so. Okay. >> Point at the camera. You're going to look down, Kevin. >> That one. >> The middle one. The middle one. The middle one. The middle one. The middle one. >> The >> He's drinking it. He's drinking it. He's drinking it. >> Go, Kev. Get it down your gullet. >> Go happy. >> Look down the camera. Straight face. No reaction. Kevin, it's your birthday. >> Pretty good. >> Pretty good. Ke, >> happy birthday, Kevin. Go lay on the couch. She'll come back to you in 10 minutes and we'll see how you feel, baby. [applause] >> Wonderful work, Kevin. >> Great work, Kevin. >> That's good growing up. 19. You can still You can actually tell you've matured, mate. >> All right, look. Now, this opportunity fell into our laps. And wow, we could not believe our luck. James, do you want to explain? >> Yeah. So, um, about a year ago, I got this message just from a dentist being like, "Hey, you've got a dentist appointment for this weekend." And I was like, "Oh, I have a dentist appointment this weekend." And then I looked at the name and it was someone called Mr. Man, M A N. So, I was like, "Oh, wow. Someone has my phone number registered under their name." Put my phone away. Didn't think of it again. Just the other day, they texted again. Dear Mr. Man, you have another dentist appointment. And I I thought this is the perfect opportunity for a prank call cuz we can call this dentist, pretend to be Mr. Man, and make out like he had some kind of horrific oral damage. >> And are you also uh So this appointment happened last Saturday, right? Do you know what to do? >> Oh my god. Microphone as well. I want to hear it. Oh, does smell like [ __ ] [laughter] >> Oh, even I can smell that. >> Sprayed into your hair. >> Thank you. >> That's okay. [laughter] You pick up when we call [music] your trip. It's time for prank call. Not the number. As for the prank call. >> Beautiful VB, Michael. >> Yeah. All right. So, can you give me the number, James? >> Absolutely. I can >> look I can't do speeches, but I can do jingles. Okay. >> You should have just sung the whole [ __ ] thing then. You [ __ ] identify. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Wait. >> Holy [ __ ] >> man. There's nothing better. >> I put that mic right into his ass, too. [laughter] Thank you for calling dentistry speaking. How may I help you? >> Yeah. Hey, uh my name's uh man. I had an appointment um with you guys just this Saturday, just gone. Um and I've just had some um just some concerning side effects since the appointment that I was just wondering if I can maybe speak to you or one of the dentists about quickly. >> Sure. I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch your name, >> man. Mr. Man an M. >> Who did you see? >> Can't remember. It was one of the dentists. >> Just Saturday. Two days ago. Saturday. >> Yes, that's correct. Yes. >> Okay. >> Just for a It was just a checkup. >> Okay. Let me look where it was that we saw you. So it was M A N. >> Yes. >> Please hurry. I I'm panicking. >> Um so you you say that you had an appointment with us. Uh it was rescheduled so we didn't end up seeing you. >> Well, that's very strange because I I definitely saw a dentist on Saturday. Maybe it wasn't us. >> Oh no, it did. It was a bit bizarre. >> Preventive dentistry. >> Yeah, well that's where I thought I was going. It was a bit bizarre. It did look awful lot like a house. And I'd never seen this dentist before, but um >> Wendy Benpoke When Benpoke in Braden on UA Street. >> Yeah. Oh, Street. >> Yes. Benpoke Brewery. Yeah. Maybe you saw someone else in Braden because there's a number of us in Braden actually. Not our branch, but different dentist. >> Well, the any of your practices they Well, the uh dentist had me sit on a couch in what looked like a lounge room. >> Yes, kind of. But I think all waiting rooms look fairly similar. They do have kind of lounes. >> Yeah. Um anyway, so after the >> Can you tell me which location it was? So, it was Braden. It was It was Braden, but I don't think it was a lure street. >> No, maybe you're thinking of preventive dental options, which is not us. >> Yeah, right. See, I I I rescheduled to have like a another follow-up, but I definitely did see a dentist obviously on Saturday, and I've had all these side effects now, and I'm just uh just a little bit concerned by it. And now that you kind of mention it, it might not have been a qualified dentist that I saw. >> I don't know. But you certainly didn't see us. So that's what makes me think you did see something. >> My breath. My breath. It It reeks. I I ever since I I saw the uh dentist, my wife complained about it on the drive home. It filled the whole car. I thought it was something with a car engine, but yeah, it it's it's my breath. So I'm not sure what chemicals this man used on me, but my breath reeks. It reeks of >> Well, I would suggest just calling the other dental practices in Braden to find out who it is. You saw >> the teeth are really sensitive. Every time I exhale, it's like a like biting on something cold. It's a a a sharp shooting pain sends through my teeth. It feels like whatever chemicals have been used have kind of worn the enamel away and my breath just stinks of [ __ ] >> Well, I think you better give them a call because Yeah, we we didn't treat you so we're not sure what was actually done or >> Have you ever heard of something like cuz I'm I'm just I'm just quite a bit concerned. I've had to take the day off work just because I don't want my co-workers smelling my weak breath. Sharp scent really kind of cuts through the air. My eyes are watering. >> Yeah. Do Do you want some help with who these practices are? >> Well, yes. I I I I'm starting to think maybe I've just walked into a stranger's house and he's just gone along with it. Um, but he did have some kind of chemicals. He did have chemicals and >> he was in a robe. >> Options. [sighs and gasps] >> Sharp. Oh, it's it's it's very um metallicy. It's uh and and I I now I can kind of some of my teeth move. I can move them with my fingers. So, I'm not sure what he did. He was scraping them with a with a spoon and my my a sharp stench [snorts] seeps from my paws. It's It's I'm scared. I'm just trying to find the names because I think you need to call them. So, there is Braden Dental Surgery. >> Yeah. Look, I'm I'm I'm starting to think that maybe I've just walked into a stranger's house thinking it was the dentist. >> Do you know what I mean? And now my breath >> I don't know. >> What would you do in my situation? >> I I'd ring around the practice that you went to see and that's what I'm giving you the number of to try and see who it was that you did see. yellow tongue. >> Maybe they can help you. >> Yellow tongue. Uh scum. I scrape it off. It's like a hard It's It's um waxy substance coating my mouth. A I I It's a sharp bitter bitter feal. >> Yeah. >> I think I think I think the only way we're going to get around this if I give you the number and you give the practice a call. Yeah, >> because we didn't treat you, so I don't know what was used. >> There's no dentist on standby. There's no I can just quickly chat to them about the a sharp kind of feal. >> Yeah, I think you go and speak to the dentist that you saw because we didn't treat you so we wouldn't know what was done. I can give you their number. >> Do [snorts] you have a pen and paper? >> Uh, not on me. Just just give me one moment. My wife is recoiling whenever I stand near her. It's just I I I have to breathe through my nose and I even have breath coming from my nose. It's quite alarming. I'm I'm scared. One moment. Sharp a sharp stings. Ah, hot waxy mouth. I'm not sure what's going on. >> Is your wife there? Can she speak to me because I um do need to attend to other patients. >> Yes. I'm so sorry. I I'll put her on. I'm I'm shaking. >> Hello. This is Cassandra. >> Hello, Cassandra. Um I'm not sure where your husband's been, but uh I can certainly >> I can smell it on my clothes. Cassandra, tell him I can smell it on my clothes. >> Yeah. I'm just really worried because he's like just not been the same since he came home. like spit. >> Yeah, we're the wrong practice. We're not the We're not that that practice. >> So, a man a man has assaulted me. A a man posing as a dentist has ruined my mouth. >> He seems to think he's been >> oral. Oral. >> Um, okay. So, it wasn't actually you guys. >> No, it wasn't. So, you need to give >> Tell them to tell me what to do. >> My oral is gone. >> Should we go to the police about this matter then? I'm sorry. You need to call other practices in Brighton if that's where he went because the dentist will know what to do. >> Okay. [snorts] >> Cassandra, take me to the hospital. >> Uh, we're just Thanks for your Sorry for wasting YOUR TIME. JUST >> BLACK. >> JUST REALLY WORRIED. >> BLACK MUCK. >> JUST REALLY WORRIED about him. It's just not the same. >> Okay. Well, maybe you need to go to the hospital IN THAT CASE. [laughter] I AM LIKE THIS FOREVER NOW, CASSANDRA. [laughter] >> Oh [ __ ] >> Oh man, I might block them. I [laughter] >> Whoa. >> Sharp. >> Black muck. [laughter] >> He got so aggressive. >> I was hoping you'd get aggressive once you hand up. [laughter] Oh man, >> we should have told him it's a prank call cuz Mr. Man's going to go in next time and be [laughter] like, >> what happened? >> I'm going to unblock what happened, Mr. Man. >> I'm going to unblock him. I want him. I want him as part of my life still. >> Dude, that was so hectic. >> What happened, man? What do you mean [laughter] >> with the sharp? >> Oh, man. That was sexy assaulted, [laughter] dude. That is so >> Oh, that is so funny. Oh, that is ridiculous. [laughter] >> That is just ridiculous. >> Very good. Very good. Yeah, I like that. That was funny. >> It was rescheduled. That was perfect. That worked out perfectly. >> Yeah, it was beautiful. >> Thought you [laughter] went to the dentist. >> Went into some stranger's house and they took advantage of you. [laughter] Now your breath stinks. Like sharp. >> You'd have to think quick on the spot. If some guys comes into your house, you're like, "Take a sip." [laughter] >> Here for my dentist appointment. >> Yes. Yes, you are. [laughter] >> Oh, wow. Well done, dude. >> Sorry about that. Oh, I loved it. That was [ __ ] perfect. That was very funny. >> Dental practice. >> It's hard to be like talking in a female voice firstly. It's also hard to deal with you abusing me and not like not fully break out laughing. You're just [laughter] getting so abusive. >> All right, what's next on the agenda, boys? >> Yes. >> All right, it's time. >> It's time >> for James's segment. >> Can I weave first? >> Oh, yeah. >> We're going to rip bong. >> Maybe have a bong. Have a Have a bong bong. All right. So, Kevin has had two teaspoons. He's a seasoned carver drinker, so his tolerance would be higher than the usual person. And he has also >> Be careful. He hit his head on the thing. >> And he has also ripped a few bongs, so there will be some um effects from that, too. All right, Kev, how do you feel? >> I feel a little relaxed. [laughter] >> It feels a little relaxed. And what do you usually feel if you have a normal Kev do? What what what does it feel like? >> A lot more relaxed. >> And what what else? Cuz there's What else does it do to you? Because you always talk about it. >> Sleepy. >> And what does it do to your tongue? >> The numbing sensation. >> Yeah. Yeah. You get a bit. So Cara makes your mouth a little bit numb when you're not used to it, but that goes away very quickly. So a little bit relaxed. Next episode, you got four coming your way, mate. And we stop [ __ ] around with it. How's that, eh? >> Sounds all right. [laughter] >> Yeah, it's all right. I was going to say he hasn't said the the bloody [applause] tagline yet. >> It's all right. >> Great job, Kevin. That's a wonderful new segment. I'll have you know. >> Happy birthday, mate. >> If you want to feel a little bit relaxed, Dr. Buds Karma, the weight list in is in the description. People on the wait list, you will have first access before we go public with it. So, if you want to be one of the first to try it, join the weight list. Oh, yeah. Um, so when we start, it will only be to Australians first. We just want to test all of everything logistically. But don't worry, America, we're we're coming to you. And the rest of the world, except for UK, we're not allowed to because your government has said you can't have this route. It must be good if governments say no to it. >> Yeah, that's why I like it. >> It's the best route you've ever had, mate. >> Yeah, it's also Look, it might taste like, but it's the best roots you'll ever have. >> Yeah. You don't have it for the for the taste. That's for sure. You have it for the feeling. It's what it's like. Um, how would we describe the other day? We' sort of be like, [laughter] >> imagine you've had sex with a hooker who is disgusting, who tastes like, >> oh, >> but somehow she's the best route, you know, logistically potion and stuff. >> She's a professional. >> Yeah. So, it's sort of like that. >> Dr. Buds Carver kind of like [ __ ] dirty prostitute. I actually think you might win that marketing competition, >> but you don't get STI from it. It's good for you. >> Okay, >> I'll have two. [laughter] >> You guys are going to have to really work on that pitch. >> Sorry. Anyway, look. >> Anyway, it's time for Reddit. >> Oh, >> James Reddit. >> This is James Reed's Reddit. He said it. You bet it. He read it. Only James can regret it. So you better not regret it. Only James, you can credit it. So James, go get it. This is James Reed's Reddit. Reddit. This is James Reddit. Reddit. Reddit James Reddit so you don't regret it James Reddit. So James, go get it. Get it. Read Reddit. [ __ ] hell. >> [laughter] >> Can we listen to it one more time? >> No, it takes 10 minutes. >> Off. >> Okay, then. >> This is >> Okay, let's [laughter] move on. >> So, this is James Reed's Reddit. >> This is James Reed's Reddit, everyone, if you hadn't worked that out already. And um look, >> I I honestly I don't know if I should read this one out, but >> you should read it. >> It's like Yeah, I I don't even know if we'll be able to put it in, but anyway, >> maybe not on YouTube. Maybe on Spotify, >> perhaps. If if um if you're watching this on YouTube and we haven't put it in, pop on over to bloody Spotify. It'll be bloody right there. And give us a bloody fivestar review while you're over there, please, mate. Yeah. Now, this one is quite a well-known story on Reddit. You're gonna struggle with this specifically. >> No, I know what it's about then. >> No, it's not. But related >> blood >> and also related to something you were just talking about. Anyway, so in America, you know, you you do all your bloody tests and stuff and they give you college options and you go off to your college and stuff. So this boyfriend and girlfriend ended up in different colleges. One was at Penn State and another one was at bloody some other one. >> Berkeley. They were at Berkeley. >> Correct. No. Yeah, it was Colorado. >> One of those. and she decided to go and like visit him. So they they you know they came back together and what's the first thing that you do when you rekindle? >> Smoosh. >> Matt knows this. So like you know to give her a little bit of a treat he thought he would bloody bloody go downtown for a little while right. So had done it before supposedly really like just for context they did often. >> Just for context has she just arrived and he's going down straight away. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Pretty much. >> Was it the bum hole or the other hole? I'm imagin [ __ ] [laughter] >> I'm guessing he probably turned around. >> Yeah, I'm guessing he started at the top one. >> Um to the pee hole. >> Yeah. So, look, they've done it multiple times before. They've been together years and and never been a problem. This time was a problem. Like went down there and there was clearly something wrong. But, you know, it's like that awkward thing where you don't know if you should say something. So he he sort of like rummaged around and found like a little it's called like a Jolly Rancher, like a little hard lolly and popped it in his mouth cuz you know it sort of disguise the flavor cuz he didn't want to be like oh I can't I can't do this anymore. So there was >> Yeah, there was something going on down there that wasn't okay like black muck mate. >> Yeah. Look, maybe he hadn't been there. Maybe they hadn't been together for that long or they just weren't comfortable. >> She sees him pop a [ __ ] lolly in his mouth. Surely he'd be like, "Oh, maybe >> Yeah. Well, maybe she thought it was like a sexy sort of sensual. >> I was going to put a warhead on my >> Yeah, let me just go get a [ __ ] jelly bean. The worst is yet to come. >> Oh, >> cuz like sort of it it worked for a little while. Sort of masked masks the flavor and the smell, but it like popped out and in >> to her vagina. >> Oh, the lolly. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] And so he was like, "Oh, like so sort of went in went in fishing >> fishing for it >> to get it out and got it out and put it back in his mouth, but realized it wasn't IT WASN'T THAT >> OH, BLOOD CLOT." SO, turns out it was a >> fetus nodule of gonorrhea. Whoa. A blister-like structure that gorrhea makes filled with diseased pus. was the size of a Jolly Rancher lolly and he bit it in his mouth and it popped letting [laughter] out like basically like a severe taste of like rotting vomit is HOW HE DESCRIBED IT. >> THEY had a massive argument afterwards. Finally spoke about it. She admitted to cheating with him uh about a month earlier with some random bloke at a nightclub and she'd got a sexually transmitted disease. He >> put a [ __ ] egg up HER WHOA. >> WHOA. OH, holy >> dude. We should do that for fuzzy boys. >> That is intense. [laughter] >> Fried nodule of gonorrhea. >> Nodule of gonorrhea. That is intense, >> man. That's a real bad STI, isn't it? Like you can die from that back in the 1800s. It's a good question. >> Where's the Jolly Rancher, though? >> What happened? [laughter] >> Yeah, the Jolly Rancher was gone. >> Oh, it's gone up into her system, >> man. That's Man, that would be >> I was thinking like maybe it was a warhead and he'd put the warhead and maybe she'd fried from the inside. >> Yeah, but like not that's way worse what you said. >> Oh yeah, imagine that. >> I didn't even know that was a thing. A gonorrhea ball. >> Neither did I. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Gonora balls, >> dude. Imagine Yeah. Oh, man. Just swapping out some lollies with gonorrhea balls. >> Having a gonorrhea ball cereal with milk. >> I didn't even know that was a thing. It just shows that you got to have communication during sex. If it [ __ ] smells bad, dick or vagina, say something. >> Yeah. >> What would How would you [laughter] How would you say it, Matt? How would you say it? >> I'd just be like, "You need a shower." >> Like it was like I would just I would just stop be like, "All right, I think I just I need a shower before we have anything." I'd even put it on me. I'd say like I'd go down. >> It's my breath. It's my breath. >> It's just like, "What if my breath's bad? Can you have a shower? [laughter] >> What about this? What if she has a shower like me and just sort of stands there and then gets back out? Nothing. >> No one does that. No one does that except you. >> Yeah, >> but let's just roll with it. You mean nothing changed after having a shower? >> Oh, we need another shower. >> I think No, I think you you'd have to say something. It's all >> How would you say it? Present it to me. You're about to go down to me and you found out there's a gonorrhea ball in there. What are you going to say to me in the most polite way? Make it Make me feel. Say it how you say it. >> Okay, just pretend we're in that situation. >> It would be hard. I don't know if I'd do it this way. >> Oh, Matt. Oh, Matt. Wow. Oh, >> wait. >> It sounds like he's bloody gone. Surely you'd know if you're like this far away. >> Yeah. No, this is gonarrhea ball. He's going down on me. >> No, no, remember it's But remember, it smelt bad before I even got in there. >> All right. You're just >> I'm telling you need to cut it off straight away. >> You're kissing my upper thighs. Action. >> Oh, yeah. Brown. Wow. Oh, higher. >> Makes it hard when he's [laughter] >> It makes it hard. >> We've gone too far. Let's move on. >> COME ON. SHOW ME. Make me feel special. >> I don't know. But I would try in the most calm. >> Show me. You've got to showite action. >> The most calm, polite way. >> See, I can't do >> Okay, I won't. That was good. >> You're disgusting. >> Oh, >> see that's not very nice. >> You are. You are disgusting. You need a shower. >> She did cheat on him. So, like she is disgusting. >> Yeah, but Brown said he'd say, >> "Has there been another there? There's something wrong." >> You got to say in a nice way. Make me feel like I'm worthy. I >> It would be rough though, wouldn't it? If you were in that moment, you've gone, you've made your way down there and then you're just like, "Oh, I can't do this." >> It'd be rough. But if everyone did it, the world would be better and the sex would be stronger. >> Give her a few kisses on the thigh and then just work your way back up. I think >> stakes and ladders. I'm on a ladder, teasing you. >> I'M ON A LADDER, BABY. >> You get up to her ear and I'm saving myself. And then no [laughter] sex. >> Yeah, it's good. That's very good, dude. That reminds me. It's that but it's good, but it's not it's not good for her. >> And then anyway, I'm going to go out to the bathroom, get on a plane, go home, break up over text. >> Yeah, that's smart. That's the That's the way to deal with it. >> What if it's just a quick fix? Like a gorilla. >> Yeah, I don't think that's a quick fix. >> That's a quick fix. That's a pill >> nodules. But you know, >> what about the balls? No. >> What about the balls in there though? >> Oh, I don't know about you. >> Might take a few weeks to clean the old gutter out. There's many things that can happen to the female genitalia. I just got reminded of a story. A boy in high school. >> This happened to you, didn't it? >> No, I don't want to say his name, but it starts with J. >> James. [laughter] >> It's not James. >> It's Josh. >> He He went downstairs. [laughter] >> And basically, the girl experienced green discharge. >> What? He saw it come out. >> Yeah, it it was rank discharge. I don't even know what that word means. I think stuff coming out, but like there's something to do with like periods. Yeah. Like >> there's batteries. >> See, I got a question. How did he like was he like up in there like this and just saw it? Like discharge is like in my eyes discharge is like a little bit of le >> There was a cheese pull when she pulled her legs apart. >> Yeah. Like how do you spot that? He said it it smelt bad at the time, but then days later she messaged him angry at him because she thought that she had gotten green discharge from him, but he was like, "No, you've had contact." So, he smelled something bad. Still did the job. But days later, she said, >> saying there's green discharge. >> Okay. All right. >> You know, one thing I've noticed with Brown, if he's talking about a sexual topic, he uses these fingers quite a lot. [laughter] Once he went back then, he went he went, "Okay, so he did the job. It's my power finger. It's my [laughter] power position. >> Oh, >> this is my This is my knowledge position. >> It's how he speaks to the other browns in the world. [laughter] >> There's no words said it's just finger taps. >> So, if you feel two fingers on the back of your neck like this at night, you're >> there's a sexual there's a sexual conversation coming. [laughter] >> It's like an insect. His antenna can smell it in the air. You >> Oh. [laughter] Whoa. >> All right. Well, that was lovely. Thank you, James. Enjoying these reads. It's very informational. >> Yeah. >> He said it. You bet it. He read it. >> Only James can read it. So, you better not regret it. Only James, you can credit it. So, James, go get it. This is James Reed's Reddit. Reddit. Oh, all right. You know what it is? >> What with me, man? >> He did had the speech sadness. Then it came up with James Reits. Now it's back down to the ground. [laughter] >> Such a high to such a low. It was a low before because of the weekend speech and then it went to a little high with James Reed's Reddit and then it went, "Oh, it's going to be okay. Oh [laughter] my god, that's rough to look at. >> Strange shape. [laughter] >> Wow. >> Oh, sexy. >> You let me rub his face. >> Okay, papa. I kept saying, "Okay, papa." >> You were struggling. >> No, no, I was just using I liked Okay, papa. I was focusing. >> Such a lovehate relationship, isn't it? >> This is James Reddit. >> So, well, >> all right. I got a letter. >> It's so similar. >> This has been a a while in the making. >> It's from one Michael to another. >> James, included in this package is a small care package specifically for fussy little boys. You have two items to play with. Number one, which we will be trying. It is an entree. All right. It is Oh, actually two things today. >> We're going to eat this. M. This is fried chicken skin. >> Oh, yum. [ __ ] >> That's great. >> It's not cooked. inoffensive, salty, crunchy. [clears throat] Should be genuinely enjoyable unless someone decides to be a coward about it. Bit of a threat there. >> Have included a few more pieces for me and Marty to try as well. All right, that's an easy one. That's an easy one. >> I would crumb that on on meals. >> I would crumb that. It >> should be hot >> on. >> What do you think chicken salt is, bro? >> Yeah, >> it's finely chopped chicken skin, >> dude. I'd put this on the honor vagina. It would sort it all out. James Red. >> Is it just dry? Is it? >> Yeah. What is it? Like beef jerky? We're having beef jerky kind of. >> Wow. It's very vacuum packed. >> Reddit. Reddit. >> Packages. >> Oh, y kind of looks like crackling. >> Okay. Okay. >> Chicken crackling. >> That is my piece. >> Tickle. >> That is my piece. >> Just tickled too much. >> Hey. >> Oh, sorry. Everyone tickling each other. [laughter] >> It smells yum. It smells like a chicken crisp. >> Vet. I didn't like that one. Don't know. Grab a proper bit. >> Matt touched it, so he has to do that one. >> Grab a proper bit. He's even crap. >> Mine's bigger than yours. >> Matt's the bravest one here. Look at the size of his. >> All right, let's do this. >> He's already eating. >> Oh, not as crispy as you'd like. >> Oh, >> it's a bit off. Bit stale. >> It's a bit old. [laughter] >> It's so stale. If I eat the whole thing, does he have to eat the whole thing? >> Salmonella all over it. [laughter] >> If I If I eat the whole thing, does he have to eat the whole thing? >> Oh, yeah. >> How do you feel about it? >> It needs to be crispier. >> 100%. >> I have one more bite and that's like stale chips. >> What if I want you to eat the whole thing? >> You can be the [ __ ] I'm two bites. >> If I eat the whole thing, we eat it. >> You have the whole thing. >> It tastes like pork crackling. >> It's not half bad. Wow, Michael likes it. >> It wasn't half that. It was like salt. It was I just said salt. >> It's good. >> Oh. All right. >> Oh, man. It is a bit old. >> Time for the main event. >> Main cause time, boy. >> This is called >> Oh, dang it. >> Oh, [laughter] that doesn't sound >> dangit. It is a dried salted Filipino seafood snack. Commonly fish, but sometimes squid. This one is a whole fish. Oh, that kind of sounds good, too. >> It is delicious to some people and deeply confronting and salty and ocean tasting to others. >> I don't personally like it. >> The dungit needs to be Oh, shame. >> Just like the chicken fried. >> You dong [ __ ] >> The imagine it was like dung the dungut. Just like the chicken skin needs to be fried. >> I know what I'll do. I'll put it in the air fryer. >> Oh, dude. Is that how you actually swear it needs a pan? >> No. >> Heat is heat. >> All right, I'll go do that. But we need to look at this. >> It looks like glasses, bro. Looks like fish glasses. >> Got to show the camera. >> If I die from dung, >> that would be very fitting. Michael died from dung. It filled the whole office with oh green stench. >> I imagine that this is what that chick's thing would have [ __ ] like. >> Wa. >> Look at that. >> Is it dry? >> Oh yeah. >> It's the dest thing I've ever seen. >> I I think that there's a little bit of liquid on the plate, but that's because one of the eyes popped. [laughter] >> So that's fried. >> That's right, mate. You're air fried. How do you know it's cooked? >> Well, it's already dried, so they heat it up to make it more palatable, more tasty, >> and to release anyway. >> Should we show it on camera or >> I've already showed it in the package, but it does look pretty good. I don't know if you want to. >> Yeah, it definitely smells like it's from Thailand or whatever. >> Is it Thailand? >> Matt's not happy about this one. He's not into the seafood stuff. >> He's already showed it on the camera. >> If Matt's going to have fish, it's got to be on a chick. >> Thank you, Michael, for sending this in. This is dangit Filipino. Delicious little crispy snack. Matt's stressing. >> Smells like the ocean. >> Oh [laughter] yeah, >> the ocean smells better than that. >> Oh yeah, it smells like a [ __ ] fish market. >> Gonarrhea nodule. At least it's hot. That's the [ __ ] main thing. [sighs] All right, off you go. >> That's gone in. See how there's a bit of liquid on the plate? That's just the um eyeballs. >> Oh, thank God. It's all right. >> Oh, wow. >> Oh, [laughter] >> no. Michael, you take a decent decent bite. Michael sent this all the way from Swahilan. >> Matt's being much less fussy than you, Michael. >> Very much less, >> but it's all right. >> M. Michael, you need to have more. >> Whoa. >> It's so perfect. >> Is it salty? Yummy. Hey, salty fish. >> Michael, you only have the tail. You need some flesh. >> Fish flesh. >> Have a nibble at the face. Get some of the face in here. >> Can you eat it whole like that? >> Yeah. >> I don't know. I did though. You want a bit? It tastes all right. >> I'm okay. >> It's so bad. >> You got to have a go. >> Okay. [laughter] >> Just take I I was on that bit, so just take >> Oh, it's so salty. Is it really? Get into it. >> It's like a It's like a fish market. >> Is it fine? >> It's kind of like a dried anchovi. Literally a dried anchovi. >> All right. I might try a bit too. >> Anchovies suck. But um yeah, it's like a fish market. >> I got salty. I got cold. Don't eat it. >> Oh yeah, I touched it on my hands. [laughter] >> Is cold sores go to your hands? >> Surely not. It's got to be a strain. Otherwise, everyone would have >> colelaw. I'm not going to have it. It's too risky. >> Oh, dude. I [ __ ] that. >> I don't want to then eat a bit of fish and put colesaw. Coles slaw on my chip. >> What? Coles on my chips. >> That was a sick sick in taste. >> It's dried anchovi. >> It's still on your lip. >> It's dried anchovi. >> I hate it. That was so so bad. >> That was all right. I >> It was honestly fine. >> It wasn't too bad. >> That that you could cut that up finally and sprinkle that on a pizza. You wouldn't even know about it. Now, thank you very much to the legends who've come into my DMs and told me a little bit about where I can find Geod Duck and the other little surprise I told you about last week. >> They are coming. >> All right, we're going to have a very quick bong break and we'll be right back with um something wild. >> Tinder, baby. >> Is it [music] It's time for Tinder. >> Sad and lonely women on an app. Tinder's there for our laughs. Maybe sex if we're staffed. Only cows can be cast. >> That's right, everyone. And this is the Tinder Adventures of Mr. Matthew Gregory Brown. The most single 40year-old you've ever seen. >> I'm not 40 yet. >> Six months. >> That I've realized that that life scary. >> Six months till you're 40, mate. >> Like beans off the white, [laughter] >> Matt. 6 months till you're 40. >> The actual sign's not lit up. >> Oh yeah. >> Anyway, look, let's get into this. [sighs and gasps] These are the adventures on Tinder from Mr. Matthew Gregory Brown. >> It's not me. >> All right. So Matt starts the conversation. I'm astounded that we haven't pounded. [laughter] >> Unmatched. >> Oh, it's a beautiful poem. [sighs] >> I blast hard like thunder. Come on over and feel my ch >> unmatched. [laughter] [sighs] Huh? >> Okay, I call this one beg. [laughter] Matt starts. [clears throat] I'm looking for someone I can invest in. >> Hey, Matt, can you elaborate a little? My goo bag has a deposit. >> No. >> Ready for a fresh bank. Do you know anywhere? >> Jesus. >> I have zero idea what you're talking about. My sack holds salty milk of the highest value. I wish to inject invest into your bank. Is there any availability? Are you high? I'm deep. [laughter] When you're injecting your salty milk into someone, maybe. Oh, come on. Please. I won't take long. Yeah, I bet you wouldn't. Yeah, so can I. I'll bring food and wine. Please. I never get to do it. It's not fair. Not worth the 3 seconds. Oh, what? Why? Please. Why are you being so mean about this? Can I just quickly come over? I'll even pay you. [snorts] Have you been diagnosed with a low IQ? Seriously, that's a really that's really that big a deal to you. You literally won't even have to do anything and it would make me so happy. Why are you being so selfish about this? Unmatched. >> Oh man, that was hard to listen to. >> That would be a rough situation. >> All right, [snorts] Matt starts hard here, but it actually this one actually turns into a kindred spirit of sorts. The tip of my tongue swirls around your belly button. >> Oh, >> what do you do? >> Slap you and tell you that's not appropriate at your grandma's open casket. I pull back to see my shocked mother through crying eyes. Really, Matt, you can't control yourself, even at your own grandmother's funeral. I'm sorry, Mom. It's just she's so hot. Mom storms off weeping even harder. Our whole family starts to murmur and shake their heads at me. Great. Thanks for that. I'm sorry. I don't know how you expect me to react. I just thought we'd wait until midwake. I wink at you and go chasing after your mom to comfort her, offering my condolences to your whole family. Yes, but why slap me? Just push my head away. You know I love sucking the [ __ ] out of your belly button. My uncle storms over to me. How can you be so selfish, Matt? Oh, [ __ ] off, you dumb. You cheated on a bet. I lose control and start to scream. Don't you [ __ ] judge me, you ache. I'll bite your face off. Back the [ __ ] off. My entire family goes silent. My uncle steps back. I can see that I've hurt him. I sit on the I sit on other side of the room consoling your mother. I'm sorry. He truly is amazing, your son. He cares and brings a smile to my face. You raised him well. He just gets a little over excited excited and wild with passion. We both hear the commotion and spring to our feet and come over to you. Stand down, uncle. We all know you've had had too many. So what if he can't keep his hands off me? We love each other. And we are lucky that we both uh care so much to stay monogous. Unlike you. Don't you dare bite his face off. I'll threaten to bite your dick off, but it's too inverted. No one would find it. I sweep my hair out of my face and behind my ears. I take a deep breath and smile before pulling you in close to me. Making out almost falling to the floor. I'm sorry I slapped you. I just thought it would get you harder for me, baby. >> [laughter] >> I watch as you dismantle my [ __ ] uncle in awe. You pull me in and I lose control. I grab your black dress and tear it straight down the middle. Your breasts explode out and I stuff on into my gaping mouth. I lift you up and stagger towards my grandma's coffin. I drop you and turn you around. And as I bend you over the coffin, I fiddle with my pants and rip them down. My entire family is screaming and shielding my little nephew's niec's faces. It only spurs me on as I spear my dart into your wet bullseye. I thump [laughter] away, increasing my power and grabbing your hips. I rub your hot ball head like a fat Buddha and make my wish to please you however you see fit as you jam repeatedly into my tight USB port. I awkwardly but kind of sexily make eye contact with your grandma as we traumatize your whole family and everyone watching the live stream. I arch my back perfectly for you to grip my hair and scream your name. I grab your hair and pull back as hard as I thrust forwards. My hips become a blur as I go. I pull myself out and stab into your dot just as I start erupting. White jam fills your colon as we both scream in pain. My peel my flaccid lump out of you and look up at my family. This is what grandma would have wanted. I cling onto her coffin to stabilize myself while your funky offbrand moisturizer leaks out of my searing out of my searing in pain rim. I struggle to catch my breath, panting, legs shaking. All this because of a belly button lick. Our finest work at its finest hour. I awkwardly waddle down the aisle as your whole family starts erupting into overwhelming applause. I take my final bow and collapse on the floor. Imagine if we got married and people asked how we met. Way more interesting than your typical Tinder story. I'm just so glad you got the bit and we were actually able to riff. >> I respect you too much to waste your time any further. I hope you find the best man ever. You absolutely deserve it. I'm matched. >> You matched. >> You un don't even go there. He wouldn't have >> wouldn't I? >> You know why? >> Just physically not perfect. >> Not perfect. And that's what >> Wow, that's such an emotional ending, >> dude. Her brain she was >> is perfect. >> Amazing. >> She is perfect, man. She needs a podcast. >> She was a guy. You were marrying a chick, but a guy's brain. >> That's the guy. >> That's the perfect person. >> Why are you yelling at me? [laughter] >> YOU HAD A GUY IN A CHICK'S BODY AND YOU LET IT RUN AWAY. [laughter] >> WOW. That wasable. Are you upsetting yourself? >> She basically wrote a black book with me. >> Yeah, that was very good. >> There was some like crazy words that made me laugh. She made me laugh. That girl made me laugh. >> The girls don't make you laugh. >> Not many, mate. >> My wife. >> And I'd say Judy Howard. >> Oh, yeah. It's funny. >> I don't know. That's what I mean. It's for limited. >> Anyway, all right. Next one. So, this for a bit of context, this girl has um she says in her bio that she's very shy to begin with, but once she gets comfortable, she gets quite loud. >> I'm a bit shy at the start, too. But then I get really loud. Are you do too [laughter] >> same? How are you? Thank you for liking my pictures. Good. This is so fun. I'm already getting quite loud. I'm reading your messages in quite a loud voice. Your pictures are really good. Friendly. >> Thank you. [laughter] Your photos seem like you're a jolly and loud person. >> Jolly. >> I'm If I'm loud if I'm already comfortable with the person. Literally a Filipina thing. They're very loud. >> I just woke my mom and dad up because I was reading our conversation really loudly in the kitchen. I'm stomping my feet now and jerking my head from side to side. I must be getting really comfortable with you already. Oh my god. Did your mom and dad annoy you? Why are you reading it so loud? Yeah, they're so annoyed, but it makes me want to read louder. I'm screaming our conversation right now. And they're standing in front of me. They don't get that I'm a grown man and I can scream if I want to. Oh my god. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO BED, MOM, INSTEAD OF STANDING THERE CRYING? I knew I should have never moved back in because you are too controlling. And yes, Dad, don't worry. I will move out as soon as I get another job. And then she sends like all these shocks faces. I'm so sorry. There's just a bit of tension between me and my parents at the moment. >> We don't do well living together. I've gone downstairs into my room. I regret using our conversation to facilitate an argument between me and my parents. I'm sorry. >> It's all right. So, you're living with your parents? Yeah, just temporarily. Just went through a bit of a rough patch and lost my job because I pissed in the fridge at work. [laughter] It wasn't my fault, though. But yeah, I've been like I've got like five job interviews this week and I'm confident. What do you do? What do you mean you pissed in the fridge at work? [laughter] Is it okay to ask what your job is before? Yeah, there's a fridge where everyone puts their lunch. I just got to work early and pissed in it. It wasn't my fault, though. [laughter] Yeah, I work at Arnut, the biscuit factory. What about you? Oh, really? Arnets, the biscuits brand. Wow. I'm working in aged care as a carer. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? So, whose fault [laughter] is that? >> Yeah, I would mash the mixture together. So, if you've ever had Monte Carlo biscuits, I've probably made it. Sometimes I wouldn't wash my hands, though. I need to wear gloves. [laughter] But, but the heat when they're cooked kills any bacteria. I'm like 40 in 6 months. You? Yeah, I pissed in the fridge, but it wasn't all my fault. That's not fair to say. I don't know whose fault it is, but it definitely isn't just my fault. That's ridiculous. Why did they piss in the fridge? [laughter] Oh my god, that's a naughty worker who didn't wash their hands or wear gloves. That's not good. I pissed in the fridge like on people's food and lunches. Damian was laughing and watching. So [laughter] yeah, it's not just my fault. Do you want to come over? >> I'm 40 in 3 months. That's not really good. [laughter] >> 15 Grod Street Dhakaban. Come over. We can chill downstairs. We just can't be too loud or my stupid parents will cry. No thanks. Why? You're just like my parents. [laughter] >> Wake me up. Wake me up inside. I CAN'T WAKE UP. WAKE ME UP and save me. Call my name and save me from the dark. >> Unmatched. [laughter] >> Oh man. Fair enough. >> What the is that? >> He went like a bit emo at the end. I thought >> you almost had her and then she just couldn't commit to that. >> Yeah, I think pissing in the fridge. We were kind of upset. >> Matt likes a Filipini. >> Do I? I don't know. >> Yeah, he likes it. >> [ __ ] hell. You throw out and then don't >> Philadelphia >> experiment. >> All right, last one, >> man. That was a good one. >> Um, yeah. Okay, so this one is called intellect. >> I see. So Matt starts a conversation. I think I'm what you're looking for. Tell me more. My last relationships ended because we were so independent and we just drifted. I want to lead my wife. I want her to feel safe and that that I will look after us. And I think that's what you need. A level of security only certain men can offer. Okay, you've got my attention. Okay, good. Because you've got mine. What happened in your last relationship? Well, the simplified version is that my my ex and I had a child together and becoming a parent changed me. During those first few years, I realized I actually wanted very different things in a partner than what I had previously thought I did. Ah, I see. Parenthood forced you to face the truth. The father of your child relies on you. He seems lost at times, which creates fear in both of you. You just needed the space to be able to raise your child without needing to worry about all the other life can throw at you. And your partner didn't step up, did he? He didn't. And after giving him time and trying to get him involved in working together to create a much healthier relationship, I walked away. The funny thing is after I did, he was then forced to have to face everything we he avoided when I was asking him. We now get along very well as co-parents. What has led you to being so switched on about relationships? [laughter] >> Classic. Just proves once again that the things you avoid are the things you will have to face one day. I've studied relationships, breakups specifically. I wrote a PhD on modern relationships. I've read over 10,000 case studies from failed relationships, but I had a bit of a failed relationship myself and that kind of destroyed my mind for a while. I got really depressed and unmotivated. Like really unmotivated. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, but surely you also agree that most people have to go through failed relationships in order to grow and gain more awareness. >> Oh, what did you study? Psychology. Yes. It tore me apart because I felt like I should be able to make any relationship work. But through my work, I discovered something. It's compatibility. If two people are different at the core, then the chances of staying together are extremely low. That's why the perception is that you must go through failed relationships first to find someone. But the reality is if you just find you you just get better at picking who you're compatible with. That's the most important part. That's why I liked your bio. I feel some compatibility and an extreme attraction. And yes, psychology and science double degree. >> Ah, I see. Well, I'm studying psychology currently very slowly because I also work full-time, but I spent 10 years as a yoga teacher, which blah blah blah blah. And and how our thoughts show up sematically in the body. How interesting. I could have used your knowledge during my depression. I literally just stayed in bed day and night. It was a mental prison. I even got bed sores at one stage. [laughter] >> Sounds like it. You perhaps needed to get out of your head and back into your body. You're clearly very intelligent. What do you think is the biggest challenge you've faced for yourself in relationships? Yeah, I definitely needed it. Seeping bed sores glued me to the sheets. [laughter] >> I remember rolling over and screaming in pain as my bed saw scabs disconnected from the wound. I would say my biggest relationship flaw is that I get maggot heaps. [laughter] I've come to I've come to learn that it's an addictive alcohol, an active alcohol addiction, and I'm learning to control it. It's not good, but it's the truth. I won't be able to hide it from you if things were to be to progress with us and then she unmatched. >> OH NO, THAT WAS IT. >> I think she caught on that I was >> That's all she needed playing with her. >> She could have just said I'm not into that. >> Yeah. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh man, that was very [ __ ] >> Wow, you really understand me, [laughter] >> dude. It's so funny how they just say that [ __ ] >> You just I I reckon I could get any girl to say that. And I love that it's basically that's Matt [laughter] having that conversation. I was watching him then he's sort of like looking around the room looking at the signs and [ __ ] [laughter] >> Yeah. I got a bit bored of the last one. That's too much. >> Yeah. Yeah. It was a bit intellectual to start with. >> Yeah. >> Anyway, that's for this week. >> That was very dude. That was amazing. That was some bangers there. [applause] Oh. >> All right. Let's um uh let's reveal >> the feet. [screaming] >> Just you'll zoom in there. >> I'll see not PO boxing. >> Oh yeah, sorry. We'll do a P box. >> Okay, look. We'll do a quick PO box. And also next episode, right? >> Yeah, this is good. Make sure you tune in because we will be duct taping Matt and Michael together at the beginning of the episode and they must remain duct taped together for the duration of the episode. >> Why? Who the [ __ ] am I? >> You guys didn't come to the planning meeting so Marty and I have to hold it ourselves. >> How is that going to work? One roll of duct tape. >> Hang on. We were at the planning meeting. >> No, you guys missed the beginning. Yeah, you remember I had to call you both like this meeting. We did the welcome to country then that then you came into the meeting. >> So hang on. >> Was any vaccinated? E but we've all vaccinated. >> So you're So you're saying if me and Michael showed up early and had our own pre-planned meeting, we could pre-plan you guys to duct tape dick. >> Don't be late. We just wouldn't be late. We're never late. >> All right. Sounds like a no in another form of language. >> Anyway, that's what's happening. So make sure you >> I'll do it. Just show up that I show up for the people who do People with Tim Fatia. I'll do it because I got some ideas in mind getting close to Michael. >> Hopefully your coal saw's cleared up by then. >> Yeah, >> I've just got a new one. A big one here. >> Man, come on. >> Second one in a month. I'm stressed. >> You have to pay for that duct tape, too. It's quite expensive. >> We've got some in the spare room. >> Not enough. >> Oh, >> we're using 10 rolls. >> I thought it was one [laughter] ton. >> All right, let's see. Matt's so excited to do the PO box. >> He loves it. Is like Christmas to him. Go on, Brown. Merry Christmas to all of us. >> What do we got? Eh, >> there's a lot of packages. I'm so sorry, guys. We'll get to them eventually. >> Yeah, we keep running out of time. >> I did one. >> Marty keeps denying me. Um, I already know who's from. This is from uh Zach from CTC and Knuckles who do uh the hats and stuff. Look, I got a sticker. >> Oh, the podcast Royale 3.0. None of us are on it, but we're going for the on the night and there's some banger fights there. So, [ __ ] around. >> So, the CTC have sent us a bunch of hats, boys. Oh, do they say funny? Um, that one's got James' symbol. >> Oh. >> Oh, yeah. >> Winners win. >> Um, I'm I'm fat because every time I [ __ ] your mom, she makes me a sandwich. >> Oh, that's good. >> That's yours, man. That's yours. >> Okay. And then, uh, Country Trucker Caps. >> Yeah, that's mine. That one. Yeah, >> that's Michael's. >> And, uh, I lick, swallow, and suck. >> Thank you. >> Definitely. [laughter] It's definitely mine. >> What's it say on the back? The salt, the tequila, the lime. >> Oh, smart. >> All right. Well, Zachie, thanks for sending that in. >> Fellas, that's bloody lovely. >> You punched him in the face. >> Yeah, Zach was my opponent at the podcast Royal and now he's a he's a bloody good mate of ours now. >> Yeah. So, thank you CTC boys. >> CTC. I'm for the Royale. >> When is that? >> Yeah, it's going to be good. >> September 20th, I think, or something like that. >> Oh, wow. >> Yeah, it's soon. >> It's not too far. It's a month away. Holy [ __ ] Yeah, it is that Jo bloody Jockboxing bloody follows on it. >> Yeah, he's fighting um Jimmy Judge. Jimmy Judge. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> One of the Jared Wallace footy players on it. >> Yeah. >> Anyway. All right. Let's um look, >> Michael and I many moons ago got our feet tattooed for a video and they've become um kind of synonymous. >> We're icons >> with our brands. the tattooed shoes on our feet. And it only makes sense that since the Brown has joined the pain train that he also got some shoes tattooed on his disgustingly large loafers. We got a video package. Hit it, Josh. >> All right, so I've just jumped in the car. What's happening today is Marty and Michael are in a business seminar all day and I had James and Locky try and organize my feet tattoos to get done. They found a tattoo shop who can do it. And they said, "If you want, we can come in today and can probably get it done today." So, I thought as a little surprise, while the boys are in the business seminar, I'm going to sneak out and go get my feet tattooed and come back and um give them a little surprise. >> Damn, your foot is big. >> Yeah. Sorry. >> Okay. >> How is it? >> Yeah. >> You all right? >> Yeah. I'm scared now. >> All right. Here we are at the place. Matt Brown is inside right now. Now, I don't know if the tattoo started, so we're just going to we're just going to pop on in and see how the poor [ __ ] traveling. >> Hey. >> How are you? >> Has it begun? >> Wo! It has begun, dude. They look all right. [laughter] >> They look all right. Everyone's scaring me because I'm saying it's my first tattoo on my foot and everyone's giving me a smile. Good luck. How's the pain? >> Um, some parts are painful, but >> out of 10. >> Oh, no. Like constant fives and sixes. 5.5. 5.5. [laughter] >> Wow. All right. Well, Brown's doing this easy. The shading has begun. >> Way more worse. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> That's the first time I've seen you grimace pretty heavily. Just remember, time never changes. >> Yeah, that's why I wore the shirt. >> It's like a before and after. >> The pain now is considerably [music] worse, he reckons. You okay, buddy? Yeah. >> So, here's his head. That's his head getting sad. And this is where we are at. >> One down. >> So cool. This supposedly this part is going to be the worst. So that's very exciting. Make sure you film that for everyone. >> I'll try it. >> Thank you, Matt. Okay. Good luck. >> You're a tour. You're not like, >> "Hey, [laughter] >> everything sounds. >> All right. So, I'm just gotten back from the tattoo shop. The boys are upstairs in a business like seminar thing. So, I'm going to go up there and reveal my feet to them. >> What's going on? I've got something to reveal for you. While you've been doing your businessing, I went out and got the tattoos on my feet done. >> Oh my god. Holy [ __ ] [laughter] >> [ __ ] That actually hurt. >> Oh my god. Is that real? >> That's real. >> WELCOME. [laughter] WELCOME, MAN. >> ONE OF US. >> OH, he's figuring me. >> Get your foot up here, bro. Holy [ __ ] That's three generations. Three generations of shoes. >> Hello. >> Hey. [laughter] >> All right, Brownie. [ __ ] Get them out. >> Here they are. >> Swelling gone. >> Yeah. >> Gone. Yeah. Look at that. >> Look at that. >> Look at that. Stick your footsies out. Stick your footsies out, bro. >> Look at that, man. Look at that. >> Wow. They're quite good, eh? >> Let us know in the comments whose you think is the best. And who's who? No, we know who's the best is. Whose is the worst out of mine and Matt? Whose is the uh Does still swollen, Matt? [snorts] >> No, that's just his loafers. >> No, I think they're >> front bit. >> Do you like them? >> Yeah, I like them. I don't mind them. [laughter] They're fine. >> I wish you had the the front bit on there. >> That's got hats on his clothes. >> The line. >> Oh, yeah. Michael has the line. >> Yeah. >> So, there you go. Well done. >> Everyone stopped their toes, but I actually went on the toes a bit. >> So, well done, Brown. Well done, Matt. That's outstanding work. >> All parts brave and stupid, which is wonderful work. >> Yeah, it was right. There was parts where it was getting tattooed right on the gout of the the toes. >> He was telling her that, too. I was like, you shouldn't tell people about feel. >> Oh, you have gout in your toes. >> Oh, yeah. Both toes. They went first. >> They went first and then the elbows. >> Do you ever get hip gout? >> I've wondered. >> Oh, no. >> But it is possible. Neck gout, spine gout. That is possible. >> Skull gout, >> jaw gout, finger gout. >> Finger. Yeah, you can get. I've never had, but you can get >> the chin. >> Anywhere with a joint. >> Chin gout. >> Spine gout. >> Knee gout. >> You can get it in your spine. >> Elbow gout. You definitely gout. Knee gout. >> You got knee gout. [laughter] >> Next episode, we're going to do a karate chopping competition, but we've run out of time. So, that is also happening next week. So, duct taping these two together plus a karate chopping competition. It's all happening. >> Three. >> Thank you for um Thank you for the foot tattoos. I'm actually I actually don't mind them to be honest. >> Why'd you say thank you? >> Because they paid for it. >> Oh, what about Are you going to get more tattoos? >> It's tempting. >> I a tie. >> Oh, I'd love to see that on that would look great. I can't [laughter] I don't want any silly T. >> So you're formal even when you're naked. >> That's so good, dude. [laughter] >> Yeah. I'm not doing Go get Kev to do that. >> What about a bow tie? A little one. [laughter] >> I'd play spin the bottle with you boys and whoever loses has to get a tie. Hands up. If you do it, I do it. >> No way. >> I'd have to run that one by cuz it's it it does destroy your um >> Oh, dude. That's bad. Really, >> dude? Michael, no. >> It's a tie. Not do that so bad. >> You would get a tie. >> If it was spin the bottle loser had to get a tie tattooed on him, I'd [ __ ] >> down to what? Dan belly one. >> Probably down to like here. >> I'll do that with you. >> So, no, it's a cringe tattoo. >> Matt's in. If Matt's in. >> Yeah. See, he's [ __ ] changed his [ __ ] now. If all three of us then you got 33% chance of losing. >> Kev jump in that, I reckon. >> Yeah. 25%. That's nothing. [laughter] You can't get it. >> You've ruined Kevin's young life. >> Yeah, let's not get Kevin in on that. >> On him. It's going to be hard enough as it is for me to find someone that will definitely increase the odds of not finding someone. >> Well, we're getting close on Tinder. >> No, we're not. >> Dude, you had the girl and like she was there. Yeah. What do you want me to do when I find amazing personalities like that? >> Let me know. >> I I have before though and I've seen your face. You all Matt does is opens straight to the profile picture. >> Oh, 100%. Yeah. >> Well, then you'll know when you know. >> Maybe you should try something different. Yeah. It's not all about what [ __ ] gets your dick hardest sometimes, bro. Sometimes it's about what makes get your mind hard first, then the dick follows. [laughter] >> You know how I know if there if there's a chance? >> Uh that they do not write back as much as some of those girls do. >> Oh, Brown, stop playing games. >> You've got to be out of your mind. >> We like that conversation. That was great. It was fun. Dude, that is such a dangerous like >> Do you know who we're talking about? Which girl? >> No. >> Do you remember what the chat was? >> What? The the the uh black book chat? >> Yeah. Okay. I was just wondering. I thought, >> yeah, are you are you you're the one at the start where you don't text too much cuz you want to make sure it seems like you know you're not that invested. >> That's high school. Game playing. >> That's game. >> You don't want a game player. That's not on brown. >> You want honesty, religious, and gigs. What do you mean? What are you even talking about? I don't even I nothing in there that I want. >> Dude, you've got to look. Did you go there? >> That's a great point. You got to at least take that off. >> Yeah, I'll take that one. >> You can't say no to that. >> All right, we'll wrap it up there. >> All right, guys. Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe if you had a chuckle, and please five star review keeps the whole [ __ ] wheels turning. This potty's on the way to the [ __ ] moon. I can feel it. >> Yeah, we'reing this is our biggest season yet. It's our biggest episode with 300. >> That's right. THIS IS AT 300. WE DON'T KEEP >> 300 IS NOTHING. >> KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING. >> WE'RE GOING TO 500. THEN WE MIGHT CELEBRATE A BIT >> CUZ WE'RE THE B. >> WE'RE THE E >> AND WE'RE THE S S TO THE T. THEN WE F AND THEN WE