Video summary
The EMF 2026 Lightning Talks featured a diverse array of speakers exploring everything from cosmic mysteries to personal hobbies and social commentary. James opened the session by discussing the Vasco project, a citizen science initiative that compares sky surveys over a century to identify vanished or appearing stars. His investigation revealed nearly 300,000 transient objects that appeared in images taken an hour apart but were absent in subsequent shots, leading to the surprising discovery of a significant deficit of these transients within Earth's shadow. While initial theories suggested reflections from satellites like Starlink or the ISS, the fact that these anomalies appeared in data from 1952—decades before any artificial satellites existed—turned the mystery into a genuine scientific puzzle involving optical distortions and correlations with nuclear testing and UFO sightings.
Following James, the talks shifted to more grounded and personal topics, including community building, home automation, and emotional resilience. Ava shared her journey in establishing a hacker space in Glasgow, emphasizing the importance of forming a committed team to prevent burnout and utilizing creative funding strategies like renting artist studios for low costs. Edward demonstrated his DIY approach to fixing an obsolete solar water heater by bypassing professional repair limits and manually rewiring components on his roof. Julian then recounted a humorous yet poignant story about developing intense feelings in VR Chat, describing the psychological phenomenon of "lirance" where one becomes obsessed with a stranger online, eventually resolving it through connection and self-reflection.
The final segment of the program included reflections on productivity tools, health journeys, and historical passions. Elliot offered a witty monologue on the psychology of note-taking, arguing that the choice between plain text, spreadsheets, or physical pads reveals more about one's character than mere utility. Kate spoke candidly about her experience with breast cancer and gender affirmation surgery, framing the ordeal as a strange form of drag where she gained freedom from societal expectations and discovered new hobbies like wig collecting. Robert closed the technical presentations by advocating for classic cars as gateways to time travel, community, and the joy of repair, while Mark provided a darkly humorous guide to building reservoirs, highlighting their ecological impact and the controversial history of flooding villages in Wales. The event concluded with an enthusiastic recommendation for attendees to try lightning talks themselves, celebrating the shared passion that defines the EMF community.
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Yeah, that's right.
EMF. EMF, we are back. We are back with
lightning talks. I am Thor, god of
lightning talks. Um, we've never been in
stage B. It's very exciting. We've been
promoted. Those lights are really
bright. Uh, we have another slam
schedule, so we are going to get
straight on with it. Here is James.
>> Hello.
Do my slides come up on the screen?
>> Not yet.
>> Not yet. Okay. Yay. There we go. Right.
Uh I don't have long or I'm going to get
hit with a hammer. So I'm James. Uh I'm
going to talk about a weird space
mystery uh that I like. I'm going to
talk about a project called Vasco. This
is the vanishing and appearing stars
across a century of observations
project. It was a a citizen science
project uh led by someone called Dr.
Beatrice Villa.
Um, and essentially the idea is to look
at old sky surveys and look at new sky
surveys and see what's not there. Have
any stars exploded or disappeared or
whatever. What's changed over a century?
So, it compares lots of sky surveys. Um,
and on the slides there are all the
papers, links to the papers for this
stuff. So, they did that. They did
citizen science project. Um and over the
uh the course of doing that they found
lots of things that had you know were
interesting between different surveys
but then they noticed that there were
things that were in one set of images in
one survey and not in the image taken an
hour later
particularly post one. This is the
Palomar Observatory Sky Survey taken um
takes two plates takes a red exposure
and a blue exposure. They're about an
hour apart roughly. Uh there are
actually times on there. Yeah, about an
hour apart. And they found something
interesting. They found that there were
some star-like objects in one that
weren't in the other. And you can see
them. There's sort of three blobs there
and they're not in the second picture.
So what are these things? They ran a
whole load of image analysis across that
whole data set. They found almost
300,000 of these transients.
They're not um they ruled out things
like plate defects, uh cosmic rays
hitting the plate, things like that
because those look different. Uh the
elongated one there is an asteroid.
Um and interestingly, they found a
deficit of transients inside the earth's
shadow. So, and the the statistical
significance that was 17 to 22 sigma. if
uh I think five sigma is the confidence
they wanted to get to for the higs bzon.
So this is very very improbable
uh that these things weren't there in
the shadow. So that's odd. But you you
look at the sky and there's you know
star links and there's all sorts of
weird stuff up there, right? So that's
not unusual. We filter all this crap
out.
Um but they looked at these things and
said, "Well, what do they look like?
They look like uh stars." And they say,
"Okay, this these are consistent with
what they say fast reflections off high
albido objects in geocynchronous orbits
around Earth, which is a lot like uh
iridium flares, or they're not
geocynchronous, but you get the idea."
Or the ISS pass, which is happening at
10:00 uh tonight. You can see it. And
all the bloody star links. and they
modeled all these shapes to try and get
the sort of predicted uh
idea of what they might look like.
So that's fine. There's only one
problem.
POS one was taken in 1952
and we didn't launch Sputnik until 57.
We didn't have anything. We didn't have
any artificial satellites in 1952.
So what are these things that are
Oh, I'll come back to that. So obviously
that's one uh paper. Somebody has now
replicated this looking at a different
set of plates from different observatory
in Hamburg.
Um and the fun thing about this one is
that the telescope has known optical
distortion. So it's got it needs
glasses.
And they looked at the transients they
found for that one.
Oh, okay. And it had the same
distortion. Therefore, it's real light,
not plate artifacts. Something is there.
Then they did some fun things. They
found significant correlations with
nuclear testing and UFO sightings. Uh,
which is obviously where it all gets
crazy. Um, and there's that deficit in
the shadow is weird. So, it's a mystery.
This is science at its best. They went
looking for one thing. They found
something else. And we tend to only look
for things we want to find. So, what
happens when we turn off the filters?
What do we see?
[cheering]
>> All right. Thank you, James. Next up, we
have got Ava.
>> Hello. Uh, yes. Hi. I'm Ava from Glasgow
Hacker Space. I'm going to talk Oh,
thank you. Thank you. Uh, I'm going to
talk about how to start a hacker space.
Uh, I didn't think that I would ever do
that. Uh, and I ended up doing it. Uh,
and I'm still surprised. Uh oh, there's
my actual first slide. Okay. Yes, I'm a
from Glasgow Hacker Space. [laughter] Um
I'm going to largely go off of my notes
rather than the slides and then I'll
kind of go through them uh at the end.
Um how did I start? So I basically put
out a call for participation. Uh that
mostly looked like creating a Discord
server. Uh sadly Discord is the most
accessible thing. Uh and you really just
want to try and get as many people in as
possible. Um we also did some outreach
on a local subreddit. Uh, and we just
sort of pulled people in for a public
meeting, tried to gauge some interest,
uh, talked about what we'd all like to
see in a hacker space, uh, and it kind
of went from there. Um, the next sort of
like key thing for me was to build a
small team of committed people who
really want to see it happen and will
put in the work. Uh, it is a lot of
work. Um, there's just like so much
thinking and paperwork, especially in
the UK, of like getting everything
together. Um and a lot of just like uh
well you'll waste a lot of time probably
if you try to do this. Uh so yes um also
a key uh with respect to burnout uh like
you will probably burn out uh but if you
have multiple people you can kind of
like cue the burnouts so you're not all
burnt out at the same time and then one
person can continue carrying the torch
whilst others are burnt out. Um I'm
going to say some UK specific stuff. uh
we should have made a company sooner
rather than later. Um we incorporated as
a CIC which is sort of just before a
charity. Uh that was a mistake. Uh you
will again like totally make mistakes
that is fine. Uh but don't incorporate a
hackspace as a CIC. Uh
after that um we put out a call for
fundraising. Uh so just within the
Discord server again on Reddit um tried
to get cash pulled together. We ended up
with about three grand in the bank which
is awesome. Uh and that was enough to
get going. Um we reached out to uh art
spaces. So we ended up uh founding our
space which I will slide.
Uh this is the first uh edition of the
space. Um we are located inside uh
artist studios uh which means we get
really cheap rent uh and we basically
started uh not being profitable but net
positive every month uh within like
immediately basically uh and yes uh
other than that more advice is like grow
slowly uh I'm purposefully emitting a
lot of stuff uh because I only have 5
minutes uh but if you are curious stop
by the Glazgo Hackspace Village. I would
be more than happy to talk about it. Uh
otherwise, check out our website. Uh and
you can contact us through there. Uh
you'll find out a way to talk to me. I
am 100% sure of that. Um I'm going to
quickly run through the rest of the
slides. Yes, this is our door. Uh it
would have been very nice to be on
street level, but sadly uh that was not
really an option for us. Um then we sort
of started slowly filling out the space.
This is more what it looks like at the
moment. Uh, the shark went up first.
Also very important. Um, yeah, I think
that is the last of my slides. Thank
you. [cheering]
[applause]
>> Thank you so much, Ava. Next up, we have
got Edward.
Hello. I'm Edward. Uh, this is my house.
Well, one of these is my house. Uh, on
the top there's a solar water uh heater
panel uh for heating my hot water.
There's the You can't actually see mine
very well, but here's one of my
neighbors. You can see from my uh from
my roof terrace that I took during
sunset. Uh there's a cylinder. There's
my hot water cylinder. The water from
the uh gets heated by the the uh the
solar water panel. Um another view of
the cylinder. There there's a pump.
There's a controller. There's There's a
controller. There's a pump. Uh this is
um an extra controller for there's an
electrical system as well in the winter.
don't get enough sunlight, so you want
to be able to heat the water in the
winter. Um, it's it's it's just around a
corner. You can see like a little bit of
blue. It's difficult to get to. It's
kind of annoying. Um, there's my
cylinder. So, it broke one day. There's
the controller red light, and it said
there's a fault. The the sensor on the
roof isn't working. Uh, so no more hot
water. So, I have to just use electric.
So, I stuck a finger bot on the boost
button on my uh on my controller. Here's
another view of the fingerbot. So, this
I can control remotely from home
assistant like home automation. Uh I I
heat the water overnight. Uh but then
anytime I want hot water, here's my home
assistant. Um Home Assistant and then
I've got a a boost system that I can
press it. Uh and it goes through the
stages so I can say, you know, 30
minutes, 60 minutes, 120. Um but but
that's terrible. So I got a guy in to
look at it. Um and he said, "I can't go
on the roof." And then he said, "Oh, no.
I can't go on the roof. It's fine." So,
we went on the roof. There's my
cylinder. Um, and he said, "I can't fix
it. The the parts obsolete. You You
can't nothing I can do." Uh, so I bought
my own ladder. There's my ladder. Uh,
and I went on the roof. I've got an
amazing view from the roof. Uh, there's
there's some solar panels. Uh, there's
my panel. There's There's some stuff. I
pulled the sensor out. Um, the it was
wired up like this. Not very waterproof.
Um, so then I wired it directly into the
into the thing. into the and and found
out that the reason it wasn't working is
that there's a break in a cable on the
top of the roof. Uh so I cut the cable.
I changed the connectors. Um and now
I've got uh solar water heating again.
Look, it's green. It says 46°. Yeah,
I've got I've got I've got hot water. Uh
the only problem is uh it's not
waterproof. So I need to make a
waterproof. Uh now it's waterproof. Uh,
[laughter]
so that that's that's how I fixed my
solar water heater. There we go.
[applause]
People are running under. I love it.
This makes this all a little more
leisurely. Next up, Julian.
>> Julian, are you going to be wearing the
mask? No, I'm not putting it on.
>> Okay. Because handheld mic. Not sure how
that's going to work.
No, no,
>> I I can hold it.
>> No, no, no. I I'll be fine.
No, I'll be fine. Is it started yet?
Okay. Haven't seen me yet. I'm just
going backwards, am I? The big one. Big
one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Right. Here we
go. Yay. Starting. Okay. So, uh, this
is, uh, part two of [music] a talk I
gave at a hacker camp last year, uh,
about how I, from knowing nothing became
a furry from playing far too much VR
chat one night, um, after being a normal
VR developer for years and years and
years and being quite old. Um, but I
left out an important part of the story.
And, uh, the thing about, uh, breaking
hearts is, uh, they're kind of like
designed to be broken. and you kind of
pick them up, put them back together,
and they're often more beautiful and
more interesting than they were before
they were broken. So, um, the little
clue I left in the previous talk, uh,
about my furry adventure online was, uh,
this little line in here where I posited
a moment in VR that I had, uh, at this
point the happiest hour of my life. And
I wasn't exaggerating and I'm not kind
of like I'm old enough to to know what
I'm talking about. And the problem is
when I tell this story to most friends
is they is they put themselves into the
story and say how they don't like VR and
it kind of makes them sick and so forth
and they completely missed what I've
just said. You see? So uh what happened
to make this uh occur was about 4 months
before they have a set of new uh uh
knights just for like beginners who are
probably a bit shy and don't know anyone
and then they kind of ignore you for 2
hours and uh eventually after a while a
couple of us found each other having not
talked to anyone and we sat around in a
little circle uh right in the right
hands right hand side I met a couple of
new people that way um and that was
pretty much it except uh the following
week. Uh I completely lost it over one
of them. Um and to describe what this
felt like, it was like uh and someone in
the middle of the night had drilled a
wire right into the middle of my brain
and every time I thought about him or
saw him online, 50 volts would just go
straight in there and I'd erupt in
pleasure or I'd be walking on air or my
heart would be kicked by a mule or
something like that. One one thing or
another. And uh it was it was quite
astounding because I knew exactly how
much information I knew about them.
Nothing. There was a few triangles and
pixels one night. Um, no no microaggre
micro expressions or smell or anything.
So, this is weird. Now, the thing about
uh people is is we're all unique and
individual, but our our sort of mental
conditions are not. And it after a
while, I did find out what what was
going on. Um, was a a guy who's written
some articles and he has a website
describing this condition. And uh this
one's not so fun to read because it's
like uh it's like reading a alcoholics
anonymous people trying to recover from
this affliction. Uh if you really want
to know about it, you should go back to
this original research which is a lovely
book. And the great thing about it is
that if you've had a lirance, then every
story in it makes perfect sense. If you
haven't, you just can't understand why
people can't pull their pull themselves
together. You know what's going on here?
So, um, and the thing about, uh, with
with with your brain breaking like this
is you get to see all the parts and and
take the machine apart a little bit. And
pretty much what's going on is your
heart or your sort of feelings or are
like a the health bar mechanic in a
game. Quite complex with little levels
that go up and down and cool off periods
and stuff. And sometimes there's a a
sort of a tactic that you need to do in
these games where uh you're on top of a
platform, you see some health, giving
life on the other side, and you're going
to have to take a fall and get hurt,
maybe cross some place you don't know
about in order to get there. And if you
try and live life without getting hurt
at all, you're never going to get off
the the platform. You're going to play
it safe and nothing good's going to
happen. So uh after about eight months
of of this uh thing dying down over over
a period um I eventually got to know the
guy and as I got to know him more the
lirance declined until it was down to
zero till we're having a pretty good
time with each other um and uh but I had
still had this secret from him so I had
to had to one day tell this secret so I
decided to do it rather spectacularly
and uh decided I don't do karaoke but I
found a karaoke song uh called Wicked
Game and the words were like the world
was was on fire. No one could save me
but you. Um uh what a wicked game you
played making me feel this way. No, I
don't want to fall in love with you. I
did a right old performance and
afterwards he completely freaked out.
I'd done a really bad thing. Uh I was
feeling terrible afterwards. So uh and I
owe myself to blame on that one. Uh you
know after after a while he uh he he
made up and he sang it back to me to
prove he'd got over it. But I I couldn't
believe I was that crazy. Anyway, here
we go.
>> [cheering]
[applause]
>> Thank you, Elliot. I once uh I once
utterly destroyed Wicked Game in karaoke
in front of a guy I really fancied. It
was one of the worst nights of my life.
Next up, Elliot.
>> Hello. Hello. Thank you.
No slides. Pirates.
These are my observations on the
psychologies of standard notetaking
utilities.
They're my monologue ramblings from the
mind of an overanalytical professional
engineer. For your amusement, insight,
and con and conversation. I'm not a
comedian. I'm not a psychologist. I have
no formal studies in this field yet.
I've spent too many years capturing
thoughts and notes and trying to best
arrange them into the sensible formats
for for myself for someone else um for
the added variables that maybe they
don't want to read them. And who are
they anyway? So I'm a cataloger and a
poet. I'm a tech consultant. I do
outdoor outdoor teaching and I'm a STEM
ambassador.
So note takingaking observations.
This was captured on a plain text
smartphone notepad utility which syncs
to my custom hosted server so that it's
accessible anywhere in the world if the
Wi-Fi works. I don't want to be hassled
by formatting and structure and uh or
for the record any kind of automated
paperclip assistant. I enjoy using
PowerPoint as the default first tool
which annoys a lot of people. For me, it
is the freedom and flexibility of having
a clean sheet. PowerPoint is just a
whiteboard. It's got readymade objects
for me to use like primary school
crafts.
There are hints at my own rebellious
mentality and my creativity, but maybe a
hint of laziness in there. I have to
admit, I love a spreadsheet. I like the
structure, the blurring of being a blank
canvas, but with programming. It's
perfect for any indexing, sequencing,
and restructuring of my thoughts, which
represents my desire to arrange. Uh, I'm
a big fan of the in-built heading sort
function.
The spreadsheet discussion recently with
a colleague then led into talking about
physical notepads and I realized I love
an A5 0.5 mm gray dotted pad. It's
structured but it's abstract. I'm
someone who likes a construct but I
don't like rigid boundaries. I'm a
creative but within definition. Plain
paper is only good to me when I don't
have a clear plan and I tend to fold it
in half, but I'm not sure why. Either A2
or A5.
Uh lined paper causes unnecessary
stress. Uh the mismatch of inappropriate
widths, separation, color, the
definition. I I'm finicky. I'm maybe I'm
overanalytical. Uh and I'm probably just
a non-conformist. So by extension there
is further insight based on the specific
choices of word processing software but
we'll save that for another day. Um I've
had too many debates with colleagues
working on projects uh colleagues and
friends uh about markdown and formatters
latte anybody pronunciation
uh which wiki engine
maybe we just leave it all as markdown
or just plain text. So, I enjoy having a
toolbox. I enjoy the flexibility. I have
my favorites that clearly point out
nuances in my character, and you'll all
have your own favorites. Um, maybe what
we need is a new standard uh written in
plain text RFC.
It's a fun conversation. Um, the choice
of tools, physical or software, show
more about you than you might think. So,
on to writing my my thesis and the RFC.
Thank you. [applause]
>> Thank you, Elliot. Right, Kate, you're
up.
>> Yeah, you
>> I did the count. You look great.
>> No, no, we're on to time. It's right.
You can you we you can you can breathe.
We can be actually.
>> I don't know anything.
>> Clicky clicky click.
>> There you go. Clicky click.
How it connects Kate.
>> It's big button, right?
>> Big button.
>> Big button. Hell yeah. Right.
>> Oh, wait. Before I
set up my alarm for 3 minutes and 30
seconds, so I'm going to talk really
fast. Hi. In 2024,
I had a brief moment at EMF, but the
most spent the time dealing with breast
cancer.
Kinder is weird. I am weird. I am
non-binary. Cancer is weird. You get the
two of them combining, it's even
freaking weirder.
But you know what? The fastest way to
gender confirming a surgery on the NHS,
it's cancer. Oh no, you're going to take
away my breasts. Oh god, how could you?
Yes.
Now you are allowed to feel the way that
you feel. You are allowed to go, "Yeah,
whatever. Take them away. Do what you
like." And then if anybody reacts badly
to how you feel, you call them out. I
had a nurse who just got pissier and
pissier by the fact that I wasn't
responding appropriately. So I finally
just said, "Hey, am I not responding
appropriately? Do you expect me to be
crying or something?" And she just
looked even more upset, but appalled as
well. It was great.
You can totally shave your head. It's
freaking awesome. You will sweat a lot.
You will not realize how much you sweat,
but my god, it feels so good. And if
anybody goes, "Oh, you're so brave.
Hell with them." But do not forget your
wig voucher. Oh my god. They give you
around 75 quid. And you don't have to
get the super fancy fake, real hair,
whatever. Looks just like you. Looks
really boring. You can go to any beauty
supply place, spend 10 pounds a wig that
gives you seven damn wigs. Go nuts. Get
all the wigs.
You will discover a distaste for body
horror. This is unfortunate. You will
like, I love Craven Croninberg movies.
And then you watch another one, you're
like, "No, no, I can't do this anymore."
Did you know that if you pull out a
drain by accident, it screams at you,
God? Uh,
and things that sound extremely scary
usually aren't. And things that sound
like nothing are really scary. There's a
difference between fat necrosis, which
is fine, and John necrosis, which is
terrible.
But you know what? Cancer is drag.
Cancer is a drag. So, take advantage of
it. They say, "Oh, yeah, you can have
the sit down at an a at a at a at a
show. Go sit down at a show. Your
neighbors are talking right outside your
house really loudly and being really
annoying. You can go, "Hi, I'm sorry.
The chemo is really bad right now. Can
you guys just be quiet? And they will
all look so appalled and then they'll
stop talking and then all of a sudden
the bratty children aren't doing
anything. It's amazing. Take advantage
of the fact that you are ill and make
sure that everybody does everything for
you.
You can get through this. I am getting
through this. You can all get through
this. It's okay. The NHS is really good
at this.
So that's me. You can find me. Uh, you
can find me on Blue Sky. And if you're
in Hull at the end of the month, go find
me because also I'm a drag king. So,
hey, come at me.
[applause]
Holy smokes. I actually have 9 seconds
left.
You do. You're all so fast. You're
putting the lightning in lightning. Um,
next up is Robert talking about time
travel. to Robert, if you want to just
like send us back in time and give the
first four speakers like 10% more time,
that would be good.
>> You can put the laptop on the ground.
>> That's it. We're good. We're good.
>> Hello.
>> So, I'd like to talk to you about time
travel, freedom, adventure, and the joy
of owning and maintaining a classic car.
This is my first time at EMF. I've met
so many creators, free thinkers, and
most importantly, people that think
outside the box. You're all fixers. You
all create. You all repair. You like to
dismantle and then rebuild. So, it made
me ask, why is the car park not full of
classic cars? Classic cars to me are a
passion. They're lovely things, but more
than that, they're a gateway to time
travel, adventure, and community. Let's
talk about time travel. When you're
operating a classic car, and I use the
word operate deliberately,
it's a machine. You're using controls.
You're feeling the weight of things.
You're making decisions and enjoying the
view from 50 or 60 years ago, exactly as
it would have been.
You're experiencing an object drawn on
paper, built by hands, not assembled by
robots.
Every trip becomes an adventure. Even
the most pedestrian vehicles from the
50s, 60s, and 70s have beautiful
details. Something gone from cars today
replaced by screens and fake sands. The
school run or just going to the shops
becomes rich, not a chore, not time to
give up and get through, but time to
cherish. And you'll notice how people
treat you out on the road and in the
world. They'll let you out of junctions,
stop if you break down and offer help,
ask you about it at petrol stations, and
tell you their mom had one when they
grew up.
It's a gateway to stories and the best
of people. It gives them something as
well as you. You're putting color,
nostalgia, and beauty into the world.
Oh.
Uh, I'll just talk through some of the
pictures on there. So, there's an old
Land Rover. So, I pulled that out of a
barn uh where it had been sat for 5
years, got it back on the road, and
we've been on loads of adventures with
it, green laning, so you can escape into
the countryside, and there's loads of
green lanes local to you, and it's it's
just a beautiful escape. Um there's a
there's a car with a smash front in the
in the middle and and above it is the
top. So, that is a car I bought seven
years ago with no information, no
paperwork. I knew nothing about the
history of it. And all of a sudden, I
got a message on Instagram from the
previous owner's son who'd had it from
the ' 70s. And all of a sudden, I got
all these stories, all these pictures,
all the history of it. Uh, which was
wonderful. Um, the little white car
there, that was a car I paid £600 for a
uni and rebuilt with my dad. So, it's
full of memories. And the top the top
picture with all the cars parked up,
that's a that's what we called a unit 10
car club. like me and my friends got
together and just put on some events for
us and just, you know, had a good time.
Of course, there's maintenance, but
there is joy in repairing and knowing
your vehicle. It becomes part of you, an
extension. They're so easy to work on,
too. So much more simple than you'd
think. Just nuts and bolts. And the
workshop manuals themselves are a joy to
read and look at. As you use it, you'll
learn the signs of it going wrong. It'll
become a living object to you, a
companion. You'll know what it needs
before it needs it, and you'll fix it
before it fails. If it fails, it's a
story. It's part of the adventure.
Eventually, though, it won't break down
anymore. You'll have changed or rebuilt
it, and it'll thank you by never letting
you down again. You'll get bolder and go
further.
This is also the definition of right to
repair. They're green, too. Carbon long
offset, and keeping another new car off
the road. Insurance is cheap, tax is
free, and you don't even have to emote
them if you stay on top of them. Plus,
when you look after them and improve
them, their value goes up or at least
offsets what you've put in. I encourage
you and urge you to look at eBay or Car
and Classic to see what's out there and
peaks your interest. Um,
I' I'd recommend starting to look at
Triumphs as a as a as a kickoff point.
The world is full of people that will
help you, friends you'll make, and
stories that you'll create. This isn't
just about nostalgia. It's about living
with purpose and intention, milking
every drop out of every journey,
choosing maintenance over disposability,
and keeping a piece of history alive. Go
forth and time travel.
>> Thank you.
[applause and cheering]
>> [applause]
>> Should we have one more?
>> Mark, bring us home.
>> Oh, lovely.
And
next one is the next one.
There we go. I didn't know I was called
Sleepy Entropy. That's fun. Um, so this
is Pimp My Reservoir. uh a quick guide
for the wouldbe water company executive
and um a bit of uh I don't know one of
my more vague like autistic interests
over the past several years. Um so why
would you actually want to build a
reservoir? Um there's several reasons.
You might have too much spare money. You
might have a a valley lying around as
that's what um as that's what reservoirs
are built around. You might be really
thirsty like most of us have been uh
today. Um [laughter]
and um you also might want to annoy the
Welsh. More on this later.
Wrong way.
If I hold it upside not upside down,
it'll be better. [laughter]
So, what do you need to build your
delightful reservoir that you want to
make?
Damn. Um it pre it prevents all your
hard earned water from escaping. Kind of
important if you you know if if you want
a reservoir you need to hold the water
in. Um you can walk you can kind of walk
across them sometimes. That's kind of
fun. And um they still need to let some
amount of the water out in a in a
controlled manner cuz otherwise your
reservoir will flood.
So you know there's the big kind of
concrete look that a lot of people think
about. There's a sort of lots of grass
and gravel look that other places have.
Uh this is in Wales. And then there's
the quite lovely look that you get at
other places. Uh often like late
Victorian era,
but you want to drink the water, right?
Cuz like what's the what's the use in
the whole reservoir of water if you
can't drink it? So you need a drawoff
tower. Uh they get you the allow you to
get the water out. They're generally off
to the side and they should kind of be
relatively easily serviceable.
Some look quite nice. Again, Lake Vern
quite gorgeous there. Others really kind
of don't and kind of veer into the
arguably kind of phallic territory. Um,
oh damn, the reservoir is flooding. You
need a spillway.
Uh, if it rains too much, your water can
actually get out. And they're really
good for attracting dumb tourists. I'll
show you this in a second. I guess they
kind of look like a bit of a fun or
scary water slide.
So, some, you know, a big shoot, uh,
like that one, big water slide. Others
are really quite horrible, like what on
earth is that? I've read papers talking
about scary architecture that mention
this in particular. Uh, this is a
bellmouth, and it's a darashier. Sorry,
don't know how to use micro. Um, and
that's in the US, Lake Berry Sea, and
that is even more horrible. Um, and yes,
there will every so often be a stupid
paddle boarder on the news who decides
to get a bit too close and um, spark a
local outcry.
Bonus features, you've got your base
things. What should I add extra?
Recreational activities. They're always
good fun. Make a bit more of that money.
Uh, cute walks and bird watching. Uh,
hydroelect electric power. It's quite
fun. can generate electricity and uh
earn more money, but they're rather
scary and big to maintain.
Fun drowned villages. A lot of
reservoirs are built on valleys.
Generally, valleys have people living in
them, and occasionally, you know, you
might need to use power and influence to
get rid of them first, but you know,
you've got money, remember, so it's
okay.
Even better, evicted Welsh farmers.
Sometimes the drown village just isn't
enough. You could perhaps anger the
Welsh public and evict a normal village
just so your far away city can drink
water. Shout out to Liverpool who did
this twice in about 90 years. Bonus
points if your construction site is
blown up by an angry militant Welshman.
Again, many stories. These are snaps I
took myself.
So, a few holiday photos of my kind of
reservoir adventures. Uh I don't
actually remember where this was
actually. Yeah, Lake Vern. Okay, cool.
Um, this was in Linkell in Wales. Uh,
this was another one of those drowned
villages. Uh, there's a lovely chapel
next door where all of the old
gravestones were relocated to.
And actually, just downstream from this,
there is some of those fun recreational
activities. You can go whitewater
rafting and have a fun time. So, that's
about it. I hope you like my holiday
snaps and um, enjoy the world of
reservoirs. Thanks, [applause]
Thank you so much, Mark. That is the end
of our EMF program of lightning talks
for this year. Stage B, give a big hand
for our speakers. You heard James, you
heard Ava, you heard Edward, you heard
Julian, you heard Elliot, you heard
Kate, you heard Robert, and you heard
Mark. [cheering]
If you've uh So, you see how much fun
this is, right? If uh if you've never
done a lightning talk before, I
sincerely recommend that you give it a
shot. It is such a fabulous way to just
come up and share your passion. Uh get
used to public speaking, that kind of
thing. Uh so do consider submitting
something for next year. Uh sorry. Well,
28 28
>> 28. God, time goes by, right? Um but
yeah, for the last time, thank you EMF.
I've been Thor.
[cheering]